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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 1913)
. TIIE STDfDAY. OREGOXIAX, PORTLAJO), DECEMBER 21, 1913. AT! did you ever take what little was left and start out to buy ' friend wife a Christmas token? A auaint pastime, is It not? Well, to make a long- story lose Its cunning;. 1 clinked a few iron men tog-ether one moraine recently and started out to find something new and nifty In the rift line for Peaches. I was breezing for a department store when I ran across Hep Hardy, limping: In the direction of a taxlcab stand. "Up late, aren't you. Hep 7" I lr quired, glancing- at the Waterbury. "1 sure am running behind my sched ule this morning. John, Hep wheezed "Accident.' "What's the matter? Fuse blow out and leave you and your favorite bar tender in darkness?" I ventured. -Nix." he answered; "I Interpolated a new step In the Tango about 6 this A. M. and my partner, an Impulsive little thing- from Spokane, didn't get my signal, with the result that she stepped on me and lost one of her French heels somewhere between my ankle and my Instep. I had to wait till a Doctor Shep was open so he could probe for It- The medicine peddler found It all. right and my left wheel la a bit wobbly, but I'll be In the roped arena tonight when the bell rings, clamoring for my favorite rag, you can bet on that. John, old pal. "The dance bug has Vou for fair, basn't it. Hep?" I laughed. "Not at all Hep came back: "but like a lot of other ginks who have been going through life with stoop should ers and plantation feet I've suddenly discovered how to be graceful and I have to stay up all night to see If other people notice It. Where are you go ing r "I'm going down to see one of those tores and make a fool out of fifty dol lars little Christmas present for Peaches." I answered. "Fifty dollars!" Hep answered. "Say. John. If I had a wife, and we were peaking to each other, fifty dollars wouldn't bay the ribbon around the bundle. Fifty dollars! Tou make a noise like a pike." "Sure!" I snapped back. "Tf yon had a wife you'd take her down to your favorite Jewelry store and let the clerks throw diamonds at her till they fell exhausted. But I'm lust a regular hu man being, working for a living, and every time I see a hundred dollar bill J get red In the face and want a drink of water. Tou know. Hep, my father didn't spend his life wrapping it up In bundles and throwing it Into an iron woodshed against the time I became old enough to use it as a torch!" "Say!" chirped Hep, who hadn't paid the slightest attention to what I was saying, "Why don't you get her an emerald necklace'? Some Idea, what? I saw one the other day for $3000. Walt a minute. I'll give you a card to the manager." "Give It to the chauffeur,- I said as Z pushed Hep Into the taxi. "By the time he gets you home you'll owe him enough to buy emeralds." "Then I left him fiat and moseyed HH was only a little bit of a chap, and so. when fqr the first time In hia life he came Into close contact with the endless current of human things. It was as hard for him to "stay put" as for some wayward little atom of flotsam and Jetsam to keep from tossing about In the surging tides of the sea. His mother had left him there In the big toyshop, with Instructions not to move until she came back, while she went off to do some mysterious errand. She thought, no doubt, that with so many beautiful things on every side to delight his eye and hold his attention. strict obedience to her commands would not be hard. But, alas, the good lady reckoned not upon the magnetic power of attraction of all those lovely objects In detail. Ehe saw them only an a mass of wonders which. In all probability, would so dazzle his vision si to leave him Incapable of movement; but Little Billee was not so indiffer ent as all that. When a phonograph at the other end ef the shop began to rattle oft melodi ous tunes and funny Jokes, in spite of the instructions he bad received, off he pattered as fast as his little legs would carry him to Investigate. After that, forgetful of everything else, find ing himself caugbt In the constantly n-ovlng stream of Christmas shoppers, he was borne along In tbe resistless current until he found himself at last out upon the street alone, free and Independent-It was great fun, at first. By and by, however, the afternoon waned; the sun. as If anxious to hurry along the 1awn of Christmas day. sank early to bed; and the electric lights along the darkening highway began to pop out here and there like so many merry stars come down to earth to celebrate the gladdest time of all the year. Little Billee began to grow tired; and then I he thought of his mamma and tried , to find the shop where he had promised I to remain quiet until her return. I p end down the street he wandered until his little legs grew weary, but there fas no sign of the Bhop. nor of the beloved face he was seeking. Once again, and yet once again after that, did the little fellow traverse that crowded highway, his tears getting harder and harder to keep back, and then Joy of Joys whom should he see walking slowly alone the sidewalk but Santa Claus himself! strangely decorated ith two queer looking boards, with big red letters on tUcm hung over his back and chest; but there was still that same kindly gray-bearded face, the red cloak with the fur trimmings, and the same dear old cap that the children's friend had always worn In the pictures of him th:t Uttle Billee had seen. nun a Kiaa cry oi iiappinmi, uiuc Bi.lee ran to meet the old fellow and j put his hand gently into that of the r-.i i ii i . na 1 1 , i u , 1 1 1. 11 .-ij ,iiov ..iu. fanta Claus' hand should be so red and cold and rough, and so chapped, but he was not in any mood to be critical. He had been face to face with a very disagreeable situation. Then, when thinirs had seemed blackest to him. everything had come right again, and he was too glad to take more than passing notice of anything strange and odd. Santa Claus. of course, would recog nize him at once, and would know just how to take him back 'to his mamma at home wherever that might be. Little Billee had never thought to In quire Just where home was. All he knew was that it was a big gray stone house on a long street somewhere, with a tall Iron railing in front of it. not far from the park. "Howdldoo, Mr. Santa Claus?" said Uttle Billee, as the other's hand un consciously tiphtened over his own. "Why. howdidoo. kiddle?" replied the ld fellow, glancing down at his new found friend, with surprise gleaming from his deep-set eyes. Where did I you drop from? "Oh. I'm out." said Little Billee i bravely. "My mamma left me a little 1 whila ao ""bile ah went off about 1 off for a department store to ret a Christmas present for friend wife. earl old you ever get tangled up in one of those department store mobs and have a crowd of perfect ladles use you for a door mat? I got mine! They certainly taught me the Huerta glide, all right! At the door a nice young man wttn pink necktie and a quick forehead bowed to me. "What do you wish?" he asked. "Well." I said. "I'm down here to get a Christmas present for friend wife. I would like something which would afford her great pleasure when I give it to her and which I could use afterward as a penwiper or a fishing- rod." "Second floor, to the right, take the elevator." said the man. Did you ever try to take an elevator In a department store and find that 3943 other American citizens and clti senettes were also trying to take the same elevator? something, and I guess I got losted." "Very likely," returned the old saint with a smile. "Little two-by-four fel lars are apt to get losted when they start In on their own hook, specially days like these, with such crowds hustlln' around." "But It's all right now," suggested Little Billee hopefully. "I'm found again, alnt I?" "Oh, yes, indeedy, you're found all right, kiddie, Santa Claus agreed. "And pretty soon you'll take me home again, won t you? said the child. "Surest thing you know!" answered Santa Claus, looking down upon the bright but tired little face with a com forting smile. "What might your ad dress be?" "My what?" asked Little Billee. "Your address," repeated Santa Claus. "Where do you live?" The answer was a ringing peal of childish laughter. "As if you didn't know that!" cried Little Billee, giggling. "Ha, ha!" laughed Santa Claus, "Can't fool you, can I? It would be funny if. after keeping an eye on yon all these years since you was a baby, I didn't know where yOu lived, eh?" "Awful funny," agreed Little Billee. "But tell me, Mr. Santa Claus, what sort of a boy do you think I have been?" he added with a shade of anxiety In his voice. "Pretty good pretty good,' Santa Claus answered, turning In his steps and walking back again along the path he had just traveled which Little Billee thought was rather a strange thing to do. "You've got more white marks than black ones a good many more a hundred and fifty times as many, kiddle. Fact is. you're all right 'way up among the good boys; though once or twice last Summer, you knew n "Tea. I know." said Little Billee meekly, "but I didn't mean to be nauirhty." "That's Just what I said to the book keeper," said Santa Claus, "and so we gave you a gray mark half white and half black that doestn't count either way. for or against you." "Thank you, sir," said Little Billee, much comforted, "Don't mention it: you are very wel come, kiddie," said Santa Claus. giving the youngster's band a gentle squeeze. "Why do you call me 'kiddie' when you know my name la Little Billee?" asked the boy. "Oh. that's what I call all good c The saint was'bovs." -explained Santa Claus. "You ... WA divide them un Into two kinds the good boys and the naughty boys and tbe good boys we call kiddles, and the naughty boys we call caddies, and there you are." Just then Little Billee noticed for the first time the square boards that Santa Claus was wearing. What are you wearing those boards ,. c,,, .,.,.. ,vi T'f n lad nad looked ci08eiy enough, v. ,,, . . ,. ,. look come into the old man's face; but there was nothing of it in his answer. "Oh. those are my new-fangled back-and-chest protectors, my lad," he re plied. "Sometimes we have bitter winds blowing at Christmas, and I have to be ready for them. It wouldn't do for Santa Claus to come down with the sneezes at Christmas-time, you know no, slrree! This board In front keeps the wind off my chest, and the one behind keeps me from getting rheu matism In my back. They are a great protection against the weather. "I'll have to tell my papa about them." said Little Billee. much in pressed by the simplicity of this ar rangement "We have a glass board on the front of our ortymobile to keep the wind off Henry he's our chuffier but papa wears a fur coat, and sometimes he says the wind goes right through that. He'll be glad to know about these boards." "I shouldn't wonder,' smiled Santa Claus. "They aren't very becoming. but they are mighty usefuL You might 1 save up your pennies and give your papa ap air like em lor his next Christmas." Santa Claus laughed, a be spoke but -. - -?., -- . tf.33ssga3- kccvv ; How sweet It Is to mingle In the arms of utter strangers and. to feel the gentle pressure of a foot we never hope to meet again I I was standing by one of the coun ters on the second floor when a shrill voice crept up over a few bales of dry goods and said, "Are you a buyer or a handler?" "I am looking for a Christmas pres ent for friend wife," I answered. "I want to get something that will look swell on the parlor table and may be used later on as a tobacco jar or a trouser stretcher!" "Fourth floor, to the left, take the elevator!" said the shrill voice, but shrill nr. With bowed head I walked away. I began to feel sorry for friend wife. Nobody seemed to be very much in terested whether she got a Christmas present or not. On the fourth floor -I stopped at a counter TThere a lot of eager dames were pawing over some chinchilla rib bon and chiffon underskirts. there was a catch In his voice which Little Billee was too young to notice: "You've got letters printed there," said the boy, peering around In front of his companion. "What do they spell? Tou know I haven't learned to read yet." "And why should yon know how to read at your age?" said Santa Claus. "You're not more than " "Five last month," said Little Billee proudly. It was such a great agel "My, as old as that?" cried Santa Claus. "Well, you are growing fast! Why. it don't seem more than yester day that you was a pink-cheeked baby, and here you are big enough to be out alone! That's more than my little boy la able to do." . Santa Claus shivered slightly, and Little Billee was surprised to see a tear glistening in his eye. "Why. have you got a little boyl" he asked. "Yes, Little Billee," said the saint. "A poor, white-faced little chap about a year older than you, who well, never mind, kiddie he's a kiddle, too let's talk about something else, or 1 11 have icicles In my eyes." "You didn't tell me what those let ters on the boards spell," said Little Billee. "'Merry Christmas to Everybody!"" said Santa Claus. "I have the words printed there so that everybody can see them; and if I miss wishing anybody a merry Chrlstmaa he'll know I meant it Just the same." "You're awful kind, aren't you?" said Little Billee, squeezing his friend's hand affectionately. "It must make you very happy to be able to be so . kind to everybody! II Santa Claus made no reply, to this. SSs. : rk UU Jl! I Al It reminded me of the .way an emo tional hen digs up a grub in the gar den. I enjoyed the excitement of the game for about ten minutes, and then I said to the clerk behind the counter, who was refereelng the match, "Can you tell me where I can buy a sterling sil ver Christmas present for friend wife, which I could use afterward as a night key or a bath sponge?" ' "Fifth floor; to the rear; take thjB elevator!" said the clerk. On the fifth floor I went over to a table where a young lady was sell ing "The Life and Libraries of Andrew Carnegie" at ?4 a month and 60 cents a week, and In three years it was yours if you don't lose the receipts. She gave me a glad smile and I felt a thrill of encouragement, "Excuse me," I said, "but I am "look ing for a Christmas present for friend wife which will make all the neigh bors jealous, and which I can use afterward as an ash receiver or a pocket flashy j remark, beyond giving a very deep sigh, which Little Billee chose to be lieve was evidence of a great Inward content. They walked on now in silence, for Little Billee was beginning to feel almost too tired to talk, and Santa Claus seemed to be thinking of some thing else. Finally, however, the little fellow spoke. "I guess I'd like to go home now, Mr. Santa Claus," he said. "I'm tired, and I'm afraid my mamma will be won dering where I've gone to." "That's so, my little man," said Santa Claus, stopping short in his walk up and down the block. "Your mother will be worried for a fact; and your father, too I know how I'd feel if my little boy got losted and hadn't come home at dinner-time. I don't believe you know where you live, though now honest! Come! 'Fess up, Billee, yon don't know where you live, do you?" "Why, yes, I do." said Little Billee. "It's In the big gray stone bouse with the Iron fence in front of It, near the park." , "Oh, thafs easy enough!" laughed Santa Claus nervously. - "Anybody could say ha lived in a gray stone house with a fence around it, near tbe park; but you don't know what street it's on. nor the number, either. I'll bet fourteen wooden giraffes against' a mankey on a stlckl" , "No, I don't." said Little Billee frankly; "but I know the number of our ortymobile. It's X. T.' " "Fine!" laughed Santa Claus. "If yon really were lost. It would be a great help to know that; not being lost, as you ain't, why, of course, we can get along without it. It's queer you don't know your last name, though." "I do, too, know my last name!" blurted. Lltt4 SlUea, "It Billee, The young- lady cut out the giggles and pointed to the northwest. I went over there. To my surprise, I found another counter. A pale young woman was behind It I was just about to - ask her the fatal question when a young man wearing a ragtime expression on his face rushed up and Bald to the pale young lady behind the counter: "I am looking for a suitable present for a young lady friend of mine with golden brown hair. Could you please suggest something?" The pale young woman showed her teeth and answered him in a lew, rum. bllng voice, and the man went away. Then came an old lady who said: "1 bought some organdie dress goods for a shirt waist last Tuesday, and I would like to exchange them for a musio box for my daughter's little boy, Freddie, if you please!" The pale young woman again showed her teeth and the old lady ducked for cover. That's the last one they gave me, any how." Santa Claus reflected for a moment, eyeing the child anxiously. "I don't believe you even know your papa's name." he said. "Yes, I do," said Little Billee, indig nantly. IIs name Is Mr. Harrison. "Well, you are a smart little chap, cried Santa Olaus gleefully. "You got it right the very first time, didn't you? I really didn't think you knew. But I don't believe you know where your pa pa keeps his bakeshop, where he makes all those nice cakes and cookies you .eat." Billee began to laugh again. "You can't fool me, Mr. Santa Claus," he said. "I know my papa don't keep a bakeshop just as well as you do. My papa owns a bank." "Splendid! Made of tin, I suppose, wltb a nice little hole at the top to drop pennies Into?" said Santa Claua "No, it ain't, either!" retorted Little Billee. "It's made of stone, and has more than a million windows in' It- I went down there with my mamma to papa's office the other day, so I guess I ought to know." "Well, I should say so," said Santa Claus "Nobody better. By the way. Billee, what does your mamma call your papa? 'Billee, like your he added. "Oh, no, indeed," returned Little Bil lee. "She calls him papa, except once In a while when he's going away, and then she says, 'Good-bye, Tom.' " "Fine again! said Santa Claus, blowing- upon his fingers, for, now that the sun had completely disappeared over in the West, it was getting very cold. "Thomas Harrison, banker," he muttered to himself. "What, with the telephone book and the. city, directory,, - After about 60 people had rushed up to the pale young woman and then rushed away again, I went over and spoke to her. "I am looking," I said, "for a Christ mas present for friend wife. I want to get something that will give her a great amount of pleasure and which I can use later on as a pipe cleaner' or a pair of suspenders!" The pale young woman fainted, so I moved over. At another counter another young lady said to me, "Have you been waited on?" "No,"' I replied; "I have been stepped on, sat on and walked on, tut I have not yet been waited on." "What do you wish?" inquired the young woman. "I am looking for a Christmas pres ent for friend wife," I said. "I want to buy her something that will bring great Joy to her heart, and which I might use afterward as a fair of slip pers or a shaving mug." The young lady caught me with her 0 jUbnh I guess we can find our way home with Little Billee." "Do you think we can go now, Mr Santa Claus?" asked Little Billee, for the cold was beginning to cut through his little coat, and the sandman had started to scatter the sleepy seeds all around. "Yes, slrree!" returned Santa Claus promptly. "Right away off now in stantly at once! I'm afraid I can't go my reindeer hero in time to take us up to the house, but we can go In the cars hum! I don t know whether we can or not, come to think of It. Ah, do you happen to have 10 cents In your pocket?" Santa aded, with an em barrassed air. "You see, I've left my pocketbook In the sleigh with my toy pack; and, besides, mine Is only toy money, and they won't take that on the cars." "I got twnty-fl' cents," said Little Billee proudly, as he dug his way down into his pocket and brought the shining silver piece to light. "You can have it, if vou want it." "Thank you," said Santa Claus, tak ing the proffered coin. "We'll start home right away; only come in here first, while I telephone to Santavllle, telling the folks where I am." He led the little fellow into a public telephone station, where he eagerly scanned the names In the book. At last it was - found "Thomas Harrison, seven-six-five-four Plaza." And then, in the seclusion of the telephone booth, Santa Claus sent the gladdest of all Christmas messages over the wire to two distracted parents: "I have found your boy wandering in the street. He is safe, and I will bring him home right away." HI, Fifteen minutes later, there might have been seen the strange spectacle of a footsore Santa Claus leading a sleepy little boy up Fifth avenue to a cross street, which shall be nameless. The boy vainly endeavored to- persuade his companion to come In and meet mam ma." "No, Billee," the old man replied sadly, "I must hurry back. You see, kiddie, this is my busy day. Besides. 1 never go into a house except through the chimney. I wouldn't know how to behave, going in at a front door." But it was not to ba. as Santa Claus willed, for Little Blllee's papa and his mamma, and his brothers and Bisters, and the butler and the housemaids, and two or three policemen, were waiting at the front door when they arrived. "Aha!" said one of the police, seizing Santa Claus roughly by the arm, "We've landed you, all right! Where have you been with this boy?" "You let him alone v cried Litue ui lee, witb more courage than he had ever expected to show in the presence of a policeman. "He's a friend of mine." "That's right, officer," said Little Blllee's father; "let him alone I haven't entered any complaint against this man." "But you want to look out for these fellers. Mr. Harrison," returned the oi ficer. "First thing you know they'll be makln' a trade of this sort oi thing. "I'm no grafter! retorted banta Claua Indignantly. "I found the little chan wandering along the street, and, aa soon as I was aDie to locate wnere he lived, I brought him home. That's all there is to lt" "He knew where I lived all along,1 laughed Little Billee, "only he pre tended he didn't. Just to see If I knew.' "You see. sir, said the officer, Vlt won't do him any harm to let him cool his heels" "It Is far better that he should warm them officer," said Mr. Harrison kind ly. "And he can do that here. Come In, my man, he added, turning to Santa Claus with a grateful smile. "Just for a minute, anyhow. Mrs. Har rison will wish to thank you for bring ing our boy back to us. We have bad a terrible afternoon." That's all right, sir," said Santa Claus modestly. "It wasn't anything, sir. I didn't really find him it was him as found me. sir. He took me for the real thing. I guess." Nevertheless, Santa Claus, ied by. Lit dreamy eyes and held me up against the wall. "You," she screamed, "you complete a total of 25,493 people who have been In this department store today without knowing what they are doing here, and I refuse, to be a human encyclopedia for the sake of eight dollars a week. Go on, now; throw yourself into sec ond speed and climb the hill!" I began to apologize, but she reached down under the counter and pulled out a club. "This," she said, with a wild look In her side lamps, "this is happy Tuletide, but, nevertheless, the next guy that leaves his brains at homo and trier: to make me tell him what Is a good Christmas present for his wife will get a bitter wallop across the forehead!" The girl was right, so I went home without a present. I suppose I'll have to take Hep's tip and get those emeralds atter all. But first I'll go down to the delica tessen store and see if there's anything there. (Copyright, '13. Rights reserved.) Is- tle Billee's persistent father, went Into the house. Now that the boy . could see him in the full glare of many elec trie lights, his furs did not seem the most gorgeous things In the world. When the flapping front of his red Jacket flew open, the child was sur prised to see how ragged was the thin gray coat it covered; and as for the good old saint's comfortable stomach strange to say. It was not! "I I wish you all a merry Christ mas," faltered Santa Claus; "but I really must be going, sir " "Nonsense!" cried Mr. Harrison. "Not until you have got rid of this chill, and " "I can't stay, sir," said Santa, "I'll lose my Job if I do." "Well, what if you? I'll give you a better one," said the banker. "I can't I can't!" faltered the man, "I I I've got a Little Billee of my own at home waiting for me, sir. If I hadn't," he added fiercely, "do you suppose I'd be doin' this?" He pointed at the painted boards and shuddered. "It's him as has kept me from from the river!" he muttered hoarsely; and then this dispenser of happiness to so many millions of people all the world over sank Into a chair, and, covering his face with his hands, wept like a child. . "I guess Santa Claus is tired, pap," said Little Billee, snuggling up closely to the old fellow and taking hold of his hand sympathetically. "He's been walkin' a lot today." "Yes, my son," said Mr. Harrison gravely. "These are very busy times for Santa Claus, and I guess that, as he still has a hard night ahead of him; James bad better ring up Henry and tell him to bring the car around right away, so that we may take him back to his little boy. We'll have to lend him a fur coat to keep the wind off, too, for It Is a bitter night." "Oh," said Little Billee, I haven't told you about these boards lie wears. He has 'em to keep the wind off, and they're fine, papa'" Little Billee pointed to the two sign-boards wlftch Santa Claus had leaned against the wall. "He say3 he uses em on cold nights," the lad went on. ' They have writing on 'em, too. Do you know what it says?" "Yes," said Mr. Harrison, glancing at the boards. "It says 'If You Want a Good Christmas Dinner for a Quar ter, Go to Smither's Cafe,' " Little Billee roared with laughter. "Papa's trying to fool .me, just as you did when you pretended not to know where I lived, Santa Claus," he said, looking up into the old fellow's face, his own countenance brimming over with mirth. "You mustn't think he can't read, though," the lad added hastily. "He's only Joking." "Oh, no, indeed, I shouldn't have thought that," replied Santa Claus, smiling through his tears. I've been Joking, have lr said Lit tle Blllee's papa. "Well, then, Mr. Billlam, suppose you Inform ms what it says." "Merry Christmas to Everybody, said Little Billee proudly. "I couldn't read it myself, but be told me what It said. He has it printed there so that if he misses saying it to anybody. they'll know he means It Just the same. By Jove, Mr. Santa Clans," cried Little Blllee's papa, grasping the old man warmly by the hand, "I owe you ten million apologiesl I haven't be lieved In you for many a long year; but now, sir, I take It all back. You do exist, and, by tbe great horn spoon, you are the real thing!" xv. Little Billee had the satisfaction of acting as host to Santa Claus at a good, luscious dinner, which Santa Claus must have enjoyed very much. because, when explaining why he was so hungry, it came out that, the poor eld chap had been so busy all day that ha had not had time to get any lunch no, not even one of those good din ners at Smith's cafe, to wnicn Lime Billee's father had jokingly referred. And after dinner Henry came with the automobile, and. ' bidding everybody good night, Santa Claus and Little Concluded, oa Paso J.1
