Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 27, 1912)
-THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN. PORTLAND: OCTOBER 27, 1912. cm 0 THE WOCK i luu str atteo tCoDTrirtt. 1902. by the Kew York Henld Co. All riebti reserred.) ITH a yawnin' an' ter rible eight inch hole, as expected to last for ever, the Wock, she was docked at the Diamond Shoal In spite o' the efforts to patch her hoi' an' she'd be there yet, as I'd bet my soul. If I wasn't so awful clever. For there Isn't a thing M I " ,mm Rut in spite o' the.tuct that I aCbO W I - iuvua fca w till 4. put it through in shipshape style, an' most brilliant, too. the Captain, the Shanghaied Man an' crew en deavors to take the credit. "Ad' I has no doubt as I'll be believed when I makes this explanation, for my words is true an should be received by all as know how the truth is reared, an In case they're not It would make me peeved but this was the situation: . . "We was doin' our best for to fix the ship, as needed some good repairin', an' the Shanghaied Man. as had made a slip, an' me, we worked at a rapid clip, a-sawin wood for to earn the tip, an' was both o' us nigh despairin'. t ,' . -A seafarin man Is a Jovial dude, if he works, or he drinks or whittles. He is noted for strength an' for fortytood, an' attends to his work like a seaman should, but I've noted that often he ain't much good when he misses his reg'lar wittles. An' though we had a re markable crew, as was never afraid of action, they begins to get sour an' lazy an' blue, an' grumbled at whatever work was to do when the grub gives out an' the grog goes, too, creatin' some dissatisfaction. "An' sittln' around in a silent dock with nothing but expectations didn't suit the men o' the good ship Wock, who begins to mutter an plan to hock such thinga as the helm an' the Captain's clock to furnish some fur ther rations. An all o' the time we two sawed wood, w'ich isn't a seaman's duty. An' though we was earnln' whatever we could, the money was never in rested In food, but went for repairin', w'ich it done up good, with. strength an' with grace an' beauty. "So I says to my partner, with soinethin' o' awe, for I looked on him like as a brother, as the work was opposed to the seafarin law an' was low an' disgustln', degradin' an raw; so I trips accidental an' breaks off the saw, an' nobody knew of another. W'ich leaves the two o us good an', free from the work as was not attractive, an' with lighter hearts, as was full o' glee, we Joins the men o' the rollin sea, an' my mate, the Shanghaied Chap, an me, like them, become inactive. "Till the Cap, as was famisuin' like the rest, but alius a little braver, he rises up an' Inflates his chest an' brushes the dust from his Sunday west, an', with fearful frown as contained no jest, he eyes us with marked disfavor. 'Do you think,' says he, 'as you louts can shirk an' still git your beer an skittles? If so,' he adds, with a threat'nin' smirk, as reminds me off, as I tells you true, was nothin' like accidental, for' we hopes to find a hotel or two as would board the Cap an' his lazy crew, lncludin,' o' course, we clever two which idea was monumental. "An' in half an hour why we finds a place, does me an' the Shanghaied Person; where a weighty dame with a smilin' face remarks as she's glad for to take the case an feed us well for a certain space, an' her name it was Mis' McFherson. Her face was broad an' her hair was dyed like bricks in the rainy season. An her neck was large, an' was well supplied with chins as was billowy-like an' wide, like mountains an' walleys along the Clyde, an her weight was beyond- all reason. , "So we hurried back an we tells the boss o' the scheme we're just a-startin; an' soon we was eatln the pie an' sauce, with no expense an little o' loss, without erpectin' to come across till it come the time for partin'. A-countin' me, there was thirty-two, as could wittle' along untirln'; an' the way that us an' the Cap an' crew heads into the beans an the soup an' stew was a sight as is witnessed by very few, an' was likewise most inspirin'. J An' for thirteen days we eats our fill, an' was right in"a seaman's heaven, an' sings our songs as a seaman will, an' all o' us happy as gulls until we fetches a sight o' the lady's bill, as was eighty-one sevonty seven. An the Captain's face it gets apoplect, an' he lets out an awful holler an' goes to each o' the crew direct an' begins for to try the sum to collect, but all he could find, ns you mlgnt expect, wasn't anything near to a dollar. So the. Captain tells us one by one to skip out an' maroon her, by sneakin away like; we'd often done, an' crawl through the hedge an' get up an' run, an', to hide ourselves by delayin' none, on the deck o' our stranded schooner. "W'ich the same we done In a manner neat, an' no one did no remarkin'. An' though I am large, I was alius fleet, an' reaches the Wock with my nim ble feet, where we finds the fixin' Is all complete, an' ready for prompt enibarkin'. And the Cap gives orders to flood the dock, an' he stands on the deck a-cursin'. W'lle the waves rise' up an' surround the Wock, w'ich steady rose from the lower block when the Skipper gets a most cruel shock, for here comes Mis McPherson. "An' when he observes her to heave in sight, he is anything much but happy, for sue holds aloft a dockyment white, as libels the Wock an' it does It right, an' she shows in her face as she means to fight, an' she alius was somewhat scrappy. "Well, there we settles an' there we stays devoided o' food an' raiment; an' the Cap, the Shanghai and me prays an' schemes an devises all sorts o' ways, -but we finds we are stuck for a number o' days till we -makes some sort o' payment. An' the Cap he was doubled up in two with woe an' begins to wish we'd paid her; an' he raves an' curses an' yammers so the Shanghaied Feller allowed, he'd go an' sing her such songs as he chanced to know in other words, sere nade her. "An' he sings this song in his silver tones in a man ner wild an' free o; o' desertin' chaps in the tropic zones, a yoeman an' bos'n an' chap named Jones, as he heard in a show back in Tallyhones, an' the same it was called a trio: We're the bos'n. An yeoman, , An' Jones; But a life on the sea Is distasteful to we, For we don't like the manner it moans. An' 60 do I, An' I, An' I! So we three have been converted An' respectfully deserted; An' the only thing that cheers In our hazardous careers Is the way we've dodged employers On torpedo boat destroyers; An' escaped from further service For the next few years! Makes the blood run high We're the bos'n, An' yeoman, s An' Jones; But we don't much care For to sad sea fare. For the dampness weakens our bones! Oh, a squally sky Except In I, An I, An II As for takin' tea On the rollin' sea, -You will pardon me, An' me, -An' me! So we three have been converted ' An respectfully deserted; An' the only thing that cheers In our hazardous careers Is the way we've dodged employers On torpedo boat destroyers, . An' escaped from further service For the next few years! "Now, maybe bis voice was a little queer an' not on its reg'lar mettle, but all I knows I will tell yon here that Missus McPherson did quick appear, an fetched him abaft o' his starboard ear witli the Ud 'An' 1 asks her plain on my bended knee for to stop her" rough abusinV iome o' a cruel Turk, 'you'll find as you'll have to gej ut an' work If you wish to partake o' wittles.' "Then the Shanghaied Feller was sudden seized with a new an' brilliant schemln', an' he gives a smile such as shows he's pleased, an' he coughs significant like an' sneezed, an' beckons me, an' the two o' ns breezd away from the other seamen. W'ich breezin Oh, the rollin' sea Is gay an' free. But it's not for me, Or me, Or me! When the wind is high How the billows fly J NCM AM LYMO. o' an iron kettle. W'ich may, or may not, be just polite or conducin' some to riot; but he jumps up quickly an' sharp an' bright an', tossin' his banjo beyon' my sight, he disappears in the mystic night, an' for sev'ral hours was quieU- "When I sees him again he's a shrivelled speck, like any landlocked native; a-sittin' alone on the after deck, where he'd grunt embarrassed an scratch his neck, .with a sort o' defeated an' crushed effec' as was quiet an' meditative. When the Captain- had sighted the Shanghaied Man, why, he comes abaft an' hailed him, but he sees at once, like a skipper can, as hbw his endeavor had failed to pan, an' the Shanghaied chap an' his clever plan had simultaneous failed him. "So I hurries back to the lady's place, where we'd had the cold estrangement, an' I meets the woman, an' face to face I does my best to explain the case, a-tryin' with all o my Dative grace to make some new arrangement An' I asks her plain on my bended knee for to stop her rough abusin' an' to join the Cap an' the crew an' me an' the Shanghaied Chap on the lovely sea, explalnin' that wittles an' drink is free, for a month o' delightful cruisin'. " 'For the Cap,' I says; Is a gallant boy an' is never afeard or scary; but his lonely life is devoid o' joyan' his wild adventures begins to cloy, though he loves the men in his own employ, an' he's eager like to marry.' When I says these words in my sol emn style, like I's half afraid to lose 'em, the lady gives a bewitchin' smile an smoothes her hair for the briefest while, an' throws herself like a cedar spile right square on my manly bosom. "Well, it doesn't take awfully long for me, as Is bright as they ever happen, to gather my scatterin' wits an' see as how I am right when I think that she is will in to throw up her work an flee, proridin' she weds the Cap'n. So I offers my arm with pronounced An' reachin' out through the swayin' lines he holds the paper to her.' respec', an' gallaut like did hand 'er, au' leads her uu ' to the stranded wreck,- where she goes aboard o' the ship direc', and I leaves her there on the upper deck, while I tells our brave commander. "The Cap was there in the lower hold, with his -vanquished crew around him; an' I hails him pleasant an' brave an' bold, an' tells him how he had best enfold in his manly arms this lady cold, as had come aboard an' found him. "An' the Captain raves an' begins to shout an' in wents some Suuday cursln. An' he shakes his fist at my honest snout an' tears a part o' his whiskers out when he learns I'd promised beyond a doubt as he'd marry Mis' McPherson. An' he swears as how he would sooner see all hands consigned to Hades, ln cludin' the crew, as was filled with glee, an' even the Shanghaied Man an' me, afore he'd ever consent to be entangled with the ladies. "An' furthermore, as he makes it plain without any ' further question, he would take us out on the ragiu' main an' make us fast with an iron chain, where we'd benefit from the wind an' rain, lor makin' the bare suggestion. "Till the Shanghaied Feller he nervous gets an' afeard o' what may happen, an', speakin' slow from the place he sets, expresses a handful o' deep regrets an' offers to square up his recent debts by playiu' the part o' Cap'n. Then the skipper raises his bushy head an' ceases his threats o' killin', and says he re pents o' the words he said, but if the feller was so misled as to take the lady away to wed, why, the Cap'n was surely willin'. "Then a heavy sigh, as was not o' love, rolls np from the Shanghaied Person, an' I takes his shoulders an' gives him a shove through the hatchway door to the deck above, where, face to face an' with hand in glove, he surrenders to Mis' McPherson. But when the lady had merely spied the chap, why, he waxes frantic. An' waddling back where the deck was wide she stares at him, then she shrieked an' cried, then throws herself o'er the weasel's side with a splash in the cold Atlantic. "An' the same was a gratifyin' thing to the Cap, who yells improper, au' straight begins for to dance an' sing, while I goes abaft for the copper ring, which Hie sauie I am active an' prompt to bring, an' over the side I drop her. "An' while the lady, as straight grew pale, an tends to our complaiiiin', was trying hard for to ride the gale, the (lap an' crew, why. they makes a trail an' all hands leans on the starboard rail, where they laughs without restrainin'. When the Cap had laughed till his face was blue he thinks, as how he'll brave her. So he gets a pencil au' paper, too, and writes that if she forgives the crew an' signs as how they had paid their due be would do nls best to save her. "An' reachin' out through the swayin' lines he holds the paper to her, while she scowls a while, but at last resigns, an' takin' the pencil an' sheet she signs as how she'd been paid for her meals an' wines an' as nothin' more was due her. Then the Cap'n he calls for a hip hurray, three cheers an' a happy cackle. Then orders the crew to get under way, t pipe all hands for to quick belay an' to rig the wlnca an' be live an' gay an' out with the block an' tackle. "So we rigs a derrick along the side abaft o' tb.s for'ard funnel, an' drops a line in the ragin' tide, an" soon the dame, as was large an' wide an' cured T hopin' to be a bride, was hoisted actoss the gun'l. An' not a word did the lady say. but. lookin' limp an' sadly, she went below, where she lay hu' lay, while the Wock she quickly gets under way, an' present we reaches Savannah Bay, where she went ashore most gladly." Next WeekFor the Cap an' us, as I'd have you know, had formed a resolution to take on a hundred guns or so aboard the gallant ship.