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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 20, 1908)
) floating 1 1 -iMJSW hi WHICH MAKE N M- .' , . , ' j TODAYS' BE.M . . : Vp-1 a-1 for acceptance, and. if. she fulfils tha test, will go Into commission about Sep tember, 1910. The building of the North Dakota does not closely approach the record held by the British navy in the construction of the first Dreadnought. The keel of that vessel was laid In July, 1905, and on October 2, of the same year, the vessel wag launched, and exactly a year later the ship had Its standardiza tion trial. Four shipbuilding companies competed for the contract for the construction of the battleship Utah, bids for which were opened In Washington November 11. Tlie lowest bidder was the New York Ship building Company, of Camden, N. J., at J3.946.0OO, for a 20i-knot ship, and the contract has been awarded to that com pany. The Utah is to be a sister ship of the Florida, to be constructed at the New York yard, and In to be of about 21.S25 tons trial displacement. Bids also were opened for supplying machinery for the Florida, and for armor for both vessels. For the machinery for the Florida the Newport News Shipbuilding and Drydork Company was the lowest bidder, at $1, 517.000. It has been said that the battleship of many-caliber guns would smother an '1 sr-HE all-big-gun battleship, the real 1 floating fortress, has arrived. She is as far ahead of the 16 fighting fhlps that Admiral Evans took around Capo Horn as they were ahead of the Monitor with Its "cheese on a shingle." This new giant of the seas carries ten 12-inrh guns In a broadside an the na tions' of the world are now building not e few, but squadrons and fleets of them. The powers that sleep with a mailed hand Jiave built, are building, or have author ized a total of 84 of these monsters of eteel. And these Hercules of the seas will not only strike a blow that will make a 20,000-ton enemy reel, but they will fly Into action with the epeed of a trans Atlantic liner after a record. When the Monitor and the Merrtmac had It out In Hampton Roads It marked the passing of the wooden ship. When Great Britain launched the Dreadnought last year It was the signal to abandon the battle ship of many different-sized guns for tie all-Mg-gun leviathian. The United States replied with the North Dakota of 21 knots speed, two more 12-Inch guns than the Dreadnought and 2000 more tons displace ment. Great Britain retorted by author izing a whole fleet of 12 Dreadnoughts, four of which Rre to make 30 geograph ical miles an hour, and Germany pro mulgated plans for a fleet of 38 big lighters to cost over $1,000,000,000. Japan, Italy. Fiance, Russia and Brazil have joined in the race to build these monsters costing from l,000.000 to $10,000,000 each. Ttiey are aw-foot long masses of steel, with walls of metal a foot thick and crammed as full of machinery as a watch. Yet they travel a mile In three minutes and lcxs, and each ship will have a com plement of PiO men. The United States Is building the North Dakota and Dela ware. They will be followed by the Utah and Florida, and the proposition to Inount 11-inch guns on them, the btegest yet, is being considered by the Naval authorities. Terrific Speed of Shells. The 12-inch gun has a mouth a foot witle and. a length of 50 feet. It will fire a shell through ten inches six miles dis tant from the gun. The projectile weighs f7 pounds and the charge of explosives 4!0 pound?. The monsters weigh io tons nnd coft J.v.0i. It takes a year's time to construct them. When a gun of this size is hri'd the recoil is as great as If a trans Atlantic liner were stopped almost in stantly. The explosive force at the mouth of the gun is sufficient to move the weht of two battleships one foot. The projectile has a speed of half a mile a second. Every time the gun la fired It costs JllL and it can shoot away $75,000 worth of ammunition a minute. With these guns a battleship may lay out at -a and fire into and beyond New York 1ty. With such monsters as these In a broadside the life of a battleship de pends on which one shoots the straightest and begins first. On the day and almost at the moment the American battleship fleet sailed out from Hampton Roads on Its voyage to the Pacific, the keel of the first so called American Dreadnought was laid t the yards of the Fore River Ship building Company at Quincy, Mass. This battleship is the North Dakota and is a sister ship of the Delaware, building at the Newport News Shipbuilding and Dry dock Company. Ten Big Guns in Broadside. While both the North Dakota and Dela ware have been commonly called Dread noughts, that appellation Is not alto gether correct. These two American ships not only have greater displacement than the Dreadnought, but their design Is thor oughly distinctive from the chief feature of the big British battleship. The great feature of these two 20,000-ton American battleships la found In the arrangement of the five turrets which they will carry. In both the North Dakota and Delaware tli-. turrets will be arranged in a , --... r'-rn to bow. so that a broadside of 10 12-inch guns may be i. i..i-r sMde. The British Dreadnought also haa five aunts, but they are arranged entirely :fr --9- THn-rrv-r wrTTS&JEt&cS'c7 11911. an C-lyCJU- ft ' ' different from the Improvement designed for the North Dakota class. The Dread nought la capable of firing only eight 12 lnch guns on each broadside, or two guns tu. nn a broadside than the new Amer ican type of ship will be able to fire. The original Dreadnought has a 12-Inch turret In a raised bow deck, two lower 12-inch turrets on the stern deck and one 12-lnch ir. nn Mr side, farther forward; but both of the stem turrets, and the bow trie turrets are on a deck that Is lower than the bow turret. Kach of the Dread nought's turrets has two guns, but the floor plan of the turret arrangement Is such that when a broadside is fired on the Dreadnought one of the side turrets cannot be Included In the broadside fire toward the opposite side of the vessel, and this reduces the Dreadnought's broad side fire to eight guns, as against the North Dakota's 10 guns. England's Fleet of Dreadnoughts. Every naval power worth while is build ing Dreadnoughts. The British navy will have 12 of tnem ready for battle In two years, while Germany Is building a billion-dollar fleet. England wiU have three divisions of these giants out. on the first line of battleships by the Fall of 1909. and twice the size of anything Germany will be able to get together In that time, but four German Dreadnoughts will be afloat In 1909, and from that time they will come U the rate of about three a year until 1S17. FIRST DIVISION BATTLESHIPS. Vessel. Completed. Dls- Eceed. Guns. pi are- 12-lnch. ment. 17. POO S1.SS 10 18. BO0 21.00 IO 1S.600 21.00 ' 10 le.ooo 21.00 io DreartnotiKrtt ....ItS Bellerophon ISO Temoralre lx BuDorb lt09 SECOND DIVISION BATTLESHIPS. St. Vincent !!" 19.250 21.00 1 0 ColllTiKWood ....1010 10.2SO 21.00 10 Vnuard 11 19.2M) 21.00 10 Anion 110 20.000 21.00 10 THIRD DIVISION BATTLE CRTjSIERS Invincible A 100S 1T.2R0 2 00 Inflexible 17.2S0 2H.00 S Indomitable H'S 17.2SO -H.ttO X New Invincible... 1U0S 13.000 28.00 2 The total displacement of these three divisions of Dreadnoughts will not be less than 221.200 tons. This Is about the displacements of the fleet of IS battle ships which "Fighting Bob" Evans took on his voyage to the Pacific Coast of the United States. The 16 battleships In the Atlantic fleet making that voyage had an aggregate displacement of 223.43S tons. In other words, the 12 chips of the proposed Dreadnought fleet displace ment In the aggregate 2238 tons less than the 18 ships of the Atlantic fleet which made the voyage around South America. Another way of putting It would be to say that four strips less In number dis place the same number of tons. Broadside of 112 Big Guns. The 12 vessels mentioned carry a total of 112 big guns, all of the same caliber 12 inches. All except 16 of these guns represent a broadside fire. If the 12 Dreadnoughts were stretched out in sin gle column formation, with the greatest possible number of their heavy guns trained on the beam, they would present to the enemy a total broadside fire of 96 big guns, each of 12-lnch caliber. Compare this with the 16 battleships which Rear Admiral Evans took to the Pacific Ocean. If they were stretched out In single column formation they would be able to present a broadside fire of 48 12-lnch and 16 13-inch guns. The total number of guns that can be trained on a single Broadside In the 16 American ships Is 222, but 53 of them are of eight-inch caliber, SO are of seven Inch, 62 are of six-Inch and 14 are of five-inch caliber. The total of guns of over four-inch caliber in the main bat tery of the 18 American veasels is 356. Germany's Billion-Dollar Fleet. Germany stands committed to" an aver age annual expenditure on her navy of JHH.Soo.OOO; four years ago the annual outlay was less than half this sum. which strikingly represents the naval ambitions of the country. The ten-year bonding progra'nrma sanctioned by the Reichstag this year calls for a total ex penditure of $1,043,000,000. The scheme originated in 1908. but was delayed, ow ing to the advent of the British Dread nought. The re.ult Is that the original sum of $736,500,000 has been swollen to the above amount, and of the $245,000, 000 added, practically $180,000,000 Is for new construction. Germany has this proclaimed in plain language before the world the extent of her martial ambition. That she will do her utmost to realize this ambition is as certain as anything in this mutable world may be. Speaking at Bremen a few years ago, the Kaiser uttered those words which have since assumed a greater significance than was at first attributed to tnem. "Our future." he said, "lies on the water. German Interests and German honor must be protected in distant seas, and to this end Germany must be powerful on the sea." It Is but natural that Germany's great awakening to maritime ambitions has created a steadily-growing uneasi ness in Great Britain, who sees her century-old undisputed naval suprem acy threatened by a formidable and determined neighbor. Order 38 Battleships. Germany's naval programme calls for 24 battleships of the Dreadnought class. Under the new programme 17 German battleships will be replaced In the period from 1908 to 1917; three each In 1908, 1909 and 1910; two in d one each year from 1912 to 1917. In addition to the ships thus re placed, tnere will be four new arm ored cruisers of the British Invincible class built between 19a8 and 1912. one each year, under the original navy act Of 1900. The German programme for 1908 is three Dreadnaughts, one Invincible, two small cruisers of 24.5 ltnots, and 12 larere destroyers. This programme is to be repeated in 1909 and 1910. The building programme during the period 1908-1917 will be as follows: Three battleships of Dreadnought improved class to be built each year In 190S-9-10. Two battleships of Dreadnought Im proved class to be built, in 1911. One battleship of Dreadnought im proved class to be built each year from 1912 to 1917. One armored cruiser each year from 1908 to 1917, including six to be re placed. Total built after 1S07: Seventeen bat tleships and 10 armored cruisers, making 27 ships of the line; In addi tion to 19 scouting cruisers and 48 de stroyers, to say nothing of destroyers to be built after 1911. It is estimated that by 1914 the Ger man navy will consist of 37 battleships and 14 large cruisers "in commission." Of these. IS battleships will be of 19,000 and more tons displacement; 10 of 13,000 tons: 10 of over 11.000 tons, and four of 10.000 tons. There will be five large cruisers of 18,000 tons at least, one of 15,000 tons, two of 11,500 tons, one of 10,500 tons, and five of DREADNOUGHTS BUILDING GREAT BRITAIN. Battleships srd battery. Dreadnought, ten 12-ln Belleropbon, ten 12-in Temeralne. ten 12-ln St. Vincent, ten 12-ln Superb, ten 12-in t'ollinuwood, ten 12-ln Vanjruard. ten 12-ln Anson, ten 12-ln Invincible, elffht 12-ln Indexible, eight 12-ln :. IndomltaWe. eight 12-ln New Invincible, eight 12-ln.. GERMANY. Nassau. 12 11 -In Fanrhen. 12 11-in Baden. 12 Jl-in Otdnbnrg, 12 11-ln Slccfrled. 12 11-in Wurttemburg. 12 11-in Beowulf. 12 11-ln Bleucher. 12 11-ln 25 others of the above clsas unnamed. 1 JAPAN. Fatsuma, four 12-ln kl. 12 10-ln Huke. 12 12-ln Vnnameu. J 2 12-ln Unnamed. 12 12-ln UNITKD STATES. North Dakota, ten 12-in .'. Delaware, ten 12-in Utah, te.n 12-ln Florida, ten 12-ln ' FRANCE. Dauton, four 12-ln. and 12 0-ln Nlrabeau. four 12-ln. and 12 D-ln Condorcat, four 12-ln. and 12 tf-ln Diderot, four 12-in. and 12 i-in Verglnaud, four 12-in. and 12 i)-ln Voltaire, four 12-ln. and 12 -ln Unnamed, 12 12-in Five others of the same class as last named. RUSSIA. Unnamed, ten 12-ln Unnamed, ten 12-in ten 12-in ten 12-in ITALY. 12 12-in 12 12-ln. 4 12 12-ln 12 12-ln - Unnamed, Unnamed, Unnamed. Unnamed, Unnamed. Unnamed, BRAZIL Mlnu Geraea. 12 12-in San Paula. 12 12-inch , Rio de Janeiro. 12 12-ln ARGENTINE RETTBIJC. Unnamed. 12 12-in And flv others unnamed of the same class as above. Speed. Tons Iength. 21 17.9O0 4!W 21 1S.B00 40 , 21 1S.HO0 4!I0 21 IK.K'K) 4K0 , 21 in.2.10 ro 21 19.2T.O r,O0 ! 21 10.2.-.0 . .ViO , 21 20,000 MK 2 17.2SO nno . 2.". IT.'-') ! , 25 17.2.tO 5m0 , 25 18,000 500 , 21 l.non 472 , 21 19.000 472 21 10.000 4 72 21 in.nnn 472 21 10 000 472 21 19.000 472 21 19.000 472 21 10.000 472 , 20 19.500 4S2 20 19,500 42 21 21,500 .VI7 21 21.SOO H3T , 21 21.500 637 20 20.000 SI 8 20 20.00O BIS 21 21.850 618 21 21,800 618 20 18.000 475 . 20 18,000 476 20 18,000 475 20 18.000 ' 475 20 18,000 475 20 18.000 475 21 20.000 500 20 21.000 , BOO 20 21,000 BOO 20 21,000 BOO 20 21.000 600 24 19.000 BOO 24 19.000 BOO 24 19.000 500 24 19.000 800 21 20,000 BOO 21 20,000 8"0 21 20,000 500 21 20.000 600 9000 and S500 tons. The total tonnage of the fleet would amount to more than twice the present figure. There are now 20 German battleships classed as effective In commission. The Baden, Wurttemberg. Bayern and Sach sen are to be ready in 1910. In 1920, under the proposed project, the high sea fleet would consist of 24 battleships of the Dreadnought class, ranging from 19.000 tons to over 20.000 tons: ten of the DeutschlancV and Braunschweig classes of 13.200 tons each, and four ships of the Witteslbaeh classes of 11,800 tons, all fit to fight. England Accents Challenge. Premier Asquith set forth in the Eng lish House of Commons only a few days ago what was meant by the two-power naval strength of Great Britain, and hts announcement brought out hearty cheers from all sides. Up to the present time Mr. Asquith had been noncommittal con cerning a radical definition of this standard, which the government Is pledged to maintain. 'The Premier informed the House that the government accepted the two-power standard as meaning a preponderance of 10 per cent over the combined strength in capital ships of the two next strongest naval powers. This statement is taken to confirm the belief held In naval circles that at least six, and perhaps seven, additional ships of the Dreadnought type will be provided for In the next naval estimates, and that Great Britain is to maintain double the number of battleships under th- German flag. At the same time England's 25-knot Invincible broke the world's record by steaming 28 kots in an hour. Supremacy on the Pacific. Representative Richard Pearson Hob son, of Merrimac fame, In urging the last session of Congress to build more battleships, said:- "The events of the last few years have doubled the exposure of America. For merly our Navy was maintained on the basis of protecting the Atlantic. Now we have to protect our possessions in the Pacific, and our Atlantic as well as our Pacific seaboard. We have but one fleet with which. to do this. It would bo folly to divide the fleet. Consequently we are defenseless in the Atlantic today, just as we weTe defenseless in the Pacific last year. A nation of Europe Is liable to be allied with a nation of Asia. There fore, our Navy ought logically to be doubled. ' "A revolution in naval architecture fol lowed the Russo-Japanese "War. All the other great nations have been rushing the confitruction of a new type of warship conservatively estimated as equivalent in power to at least three of the type now constituting our fleet. "Though we now have a margin of su periority in the Pacific over Japan, this margin will disappear as Japan's new big ships are added to her present fleet. This being the situation, the President and Navy Department have urged upon the House committee on naval affairs the providing of four new battleships of the highest class. Five members of the committee voted to recommend to the House the four new battleships asked for by the Administration. The majority of the committee voted to cut the recom mendation down to two battleships. . "The House would certainly vote bil lions If the country should be come in volved In war. It takes several years to build a first-class battleship. A crisis has to be met with the ships on hand. It Is simple logic, therefore, that we mut prepare for the future." What TJncle Sam 19 Doing. After a month of hearings the House committee on naval affairs met for the purpose of voting upon the programme for the increase in the Navy and au thorizing the reporting of the Naval ap propriation bill to the House of Repre sentatives. The Naval bill agreed upon carried, in round numbers, items aggre gating over $102.000,000 a very material reduction from the estimates submitted by Secretary Metcalf through the Treas ury Department. Sentiment in the House committee strongly favored the adoption of the entire "four-battleship programme" of the Administration, but intimations had come from the powerful House com mittee on appropriations that the plea of economy would be urged against that project on account of the condition of the Treasury. The naval committee, there fore, decided to cut the battleship pro gramme in two, and to eliminate entire ly the recommendations for scouts, col liers, ammunition vessels, mine-laying craft and repair ships. The naval Increase recommended by the House naval committee for consideration by the House was as follows: Two battleships of the same type as the Delaware class $19,000,000 Ten torpedoboat destroyers 8.500,000 Eight submarine torpedoboat. . . . 8.O4O.000 Total for Increase of the Navy .$80,640,000 The total amount thus recommended for the Increase of the Navy was not half as large as the appropriation which the general board, the board on construction. Secretary of the Navy Metcalf and Presi dent Roosevelt urged upon the attention of Congress. The naval increase which the Administration recommended was as follows: Four battleships of the Delaware class $38,000,000 Four scout cruisers of the Ches ter class Ten destroyers Four submarines One ammunition ship One repair ship Two mlne-levlna- ships (conver sion of existing sliips) Four fleet cotliers 10.000.000 8.5OO.000 1.32O.O00 1.7.-0.000 2,000,000 500.000 7.0O0.IIO0 Great Fighter. Total $(19,270,000 The total amount recommended by the House committee was approximately $S, Xm.0iX loss than the Administration asked for the four battleships alone, to say nothing of the rest of the programme recommended by Secretary Metcalf and the President. Xorth Dak'ota The North Dakota. America's first turbine battleship, was launched Novem ber 10, at the works of the Fore River Shipbuilding Company at Quincy. Mass. Captain Charles J. Badger, Superintend ent of the Naval Academy, Is to lie the first Commander of the new battleship. When placed in commission it will be 51S feet long over all, with a breadth of 85 feet 2 5-8 Indies. She will have a dis placement of 20.000 tons, which is 2000 in excess of the original British Dread nought. She is expected to attain 21 knots speed, and develop 25,000-horse-power. Her complement will be 900 ofll cers and men; her total cost $7,000,000. The North Dakota will have: Ten'12-lncn breech-loading long-range rifles; 14 five inch rapid-fire guns; two three-inch field pieces; two 60-caliber machine guns; two 21-Inch submerged torpedo tubes. Her armor will be eight Inches thick around the hull. The vessel was 60 Dnr cent completed when launched. This is a new record, as only 2S2 working davs had elapsed since her keel was laid, on De cember 18, 1907. Sometime in 1310 sho will be turned over to the Government enemy In a rain of shot and sliell and noxious gases. It is the theory of the all-hlg-gun ship that she will smash and sink an adversary In short ordor. When England built the Dreadnought, Immediately after the Japan-Russia battle of Tsu-Shlma, and made It a singlo-tuliber, Lieutenant Domville, of the French Navy, in a study of the lessons to he drawn from the Russo-Japanese war. declared himself In opposition to the all-big-gun ship, and argued for an Intermediate battery of moderate range. At Tsu-Shlma. he de clared, there were the same number of large guns on the Russian and Japanese fleets, but the Japanese had many 6-Inch guns, which did much to obtain the vic tory. Some French officers of high repu tation agree w-ith Lieutenant Domville that nothing Is equal to a dense sheaf of gun tire enveloping a hostil ship in a blanket of continuous flame. The rapid ity of lire of the intermediate battery allows this result. But disregarding these conditions. th French naval experts resolutely excluded the Intermediate battery. They chose a double-caliber of 12 and 9-inch guns, ar guing out from the principle that if battle was joined at long range say S00O yards It would be necessary at that distance to use armor piercing shell. In that case the 12-inch gun is Indicated rather than the 9.5-lnch. But as fleets approach each other It would be necessary to employ a gun with a more rapid rate of fire than the 12-inch In order to cover the enemy with blows and with flame of a very high temperature. However, most navies and f rrt.s are for the big 12-lnch guns. The .stiois. What is to ho accomplished? Shall the enemy's ship be sunk by piercing her .armor, or to dis able her by enveloping her In a storm of shot, flames and noxious gases? It is argued that shells with large explosive charges which, bursting on the target, will loosen armor plates, asphyxiate the gun crews and even the stokers In the depths of the ship. FIRST AID FOR FRISBE CON'TINCED FllOM PAGE FIVK until he's led Frlsbie over to our table and we're planted around it. "You turned In those securities all right, did you?" says he. "Securities!" says Frisbie, with a kind of a foolish nervous laugh. "Oh, yes, I turned them in, Mr. Gordon." "And they went through, eh?" says Pyramid. "With a rush," says Frisbie. "We were a little too busy down at our place this afternoon to look into things very sharp. Couldn't stop to check up every package that came In." "You opened that one on your own hook, though. Eh? What?" growls Mr. Gordon, ahovin' his Jaw out. T I I only thought" begins Frlsbie; going to pieces under the third degree business in a way that showed what an amatuer he was at that kind of hold-up. "Well, you found out what was inside, didn't you?" snaps Pyramid. "What was your next move? Those yellowbacks somebody make you a present for being so cute?" Frlsbie had turned from pink to white, and now he was showin' green streaks, like a slice of Roquefort cheese. His chin sags on h.s four-inch collar and his stary eyes looks like they was vlewln' an ambulance case. All of a sudden he braces up and stares square back at Mr. Gordon. "I borrowed that package," says he. "Borrowed, eh?" sneers Pyramid. "Huh! You borrowed! On what kind of secur ity f "The same kind that you gave, Mr. Gordon cigarette coupons." says he. Say, for a minute I thought Pyramid was coin' to blow out a fuse. His jaw shuts with a click like a spring took, his eyes narrows down to pin points, and he glares at Frisbie like he was goin to jump down Ills throat. But It all ends In one of them cut granite grins of his. "There's this difference in it, though, mv boy," says he, slow and quiet: By tomorrow night you will probably be making up your bed in t,Tonibs That rings the bell. Frisbie hadnt looked ahead so far as that, and the mention of It crumples him up like drop pin' a steel girder on a peach basket H s head goes down into his hands and his elbows hit the table. About then it begins to filter through my mind what Sadie'd been tellin me of him and Ethel. Seems the girl had been good and gone on him for a couple of years, and he has it Just as bad But Ethel's folks, bavin' all kinds of dough themselves, shies at a bridegroom whose cash on hand wouldn't finance a weddin trip to Rahway and back. Their decision was that when Frisbie could save up enough to do a two weeks' honeymoon In style he could have Ethel, and then come home to live. But they'd put a time limit on, and it was most up. Be memberln' some of this, and callln up the picture of little Ethel over there, and how admirin' she had looked at Frlsbie, I can't help makln' a noise like a goat. "Excuse me for btittin' in on this game, Mr. Gordon," says I: "but I want to say right hern that If " "Shorty, will you please shut up until rm through here!" says he. "Now, Fris bie, keeping that Tombs engagement In view, what amount did you er bor row, and how?" With that Frisbie gives up. He slipped a bunch of gold bonds out of a safetv deposit envelop, stuffed In e of them cigarette premium papers that got up to look almost like a real thing, and hocked the genuine stuff for a thou sand. . , "Could you manage to put em back in the morning?" says Pyramid. "Easy," says Frlsbie. "And If I should let you keep what ever vou mav have left." goes on Mr. Gordon, "would you promise to quit "Id resign the day after." says Frlsbie. Gordon looks him over keen for a min ute or so; then he sticks out his hand "Frisbie." says he. "you know too much for a messenger and too little for any thing else. I'm going to Invest just about a thousand to get you out of the bank ing business. Is it a go?" It was. "If this gentlemen's agreement is u settled." says I. "suppose we go back to the ladies. They're gettiu' lonesome. Which we does, and winds up with a mighty pleasant time. Frisbie makln' plans with Ethel to have a private in terview with the old folks, Sadie whls perln' to me what a nice hoy he was. and Mr. Gordon lightin' up a.3-cent cigar real satisfied and comfortable after the spread and the interview he'd had with Frlsbie. The onlv one that seems much worried is Swifty Joe. Every day for the next week until they come back by special messenger, all wrapped In a $20 bill -he kept pesterln" me about them cigarette coupons. "Ah. say. Swifty." says I. 'youre enough to start a panic, all by yourself. Them coupons Is safe. Let 'em lay. You don't want to disturb the whole financial system, do you. Just for the sake of gettin' a safety razor?" (Copvrighted by the . Associated Sun day Magazines, Incorporated.) A Vagary. Cleveland Leader. Man-. Mary, quite contrary. Tell 'me. Mary, teli ine true Tom s a darling boy, but dare he Merry Mary, marry you 7 Dick s a loving lud, but wary. And you'll Hnd that timid, scarry Harry, very wary. too. Mary. Mary, quite contrary. Tell re. Mary, tell nie true Do you think such arbitrary Treatment of your beaux will deT Think now youth's but temporary Lovers' tempers often vary Often long for something new. Man-. Mary, quite contrary, Tell me, Mary, tell me true Do you court a solitary r.lfe, who flout the lads that woof Coyness may be necessary Stubbornness Is not. Be ehary. Or you'll soon be wearing rue. Mary. Mary, quite contrary. Tell me Mary, tell me true Have you found your stranite vaesry Satisfying through and thiouKli? Cut It out, you airy fairy! (Here the rhymlnjc dictionary Quits, or we'd band out a roesf)