The Sunday Oregonian., October 25, 1908, Magazine Section, Page 9, Image 53

REPORTED IN THE
PfcOfESSOk 5H0RTY HCABE
trCTii? w IT
AM INTERNATIONAL EVENT
PICTURESQUE LANGUAGE Of
fnr
TO Til
Say. If the physical culture came ever
maks m so "rich that I feel disgrace
rreepin on. do you know what I'm join'
to do? Open free advice parlor for the
sudden wealthy. Tliey need ft more
than the poor needs bookless llb'ries or
germlesn milk. There" all kinds of so
cieties for kecpin' the poor contented
with, poverty, anyway: but all the got-rich-yesterday
folk has handed them Is
krwks in, the funnV column.
What gives me a thought like this was
the wrunt I've Just been mixed up In with
Mr. Todd Maddux. Hadn't heard of him
yet? Well, you will. He's one of the
asparagus brand of plutes. nil right:
tout It's been comln' on him so swift ha
hardly knows It himself.
Why. a few year back lie was carryin'
a dinner pail and catcliin' the iunrisa
trolley to the foundry, out In Altoona.
But one day he figures out a patent doo
dad to a blast furnace, swaps It fnr a
big block of preferred stock, works a
combination freezeout on the (ran? that
was tryin' to put tiie Indian sign on him.
and the first thing he knows he lands In
a leather covered chair with his name
well up on the letterhead. Since tb-n
he's struck fta that makes a sky
rocket look like it was bein' pulled up
by a string.
Vou can judge how new he is by his
havtn' showed up at the studio for the
first time lessn a month ago. lie's been
comln' rtc'lnr ever since. though, and
I've (tot a standi!!' order to keep him
down to a hundred and eighty-five even
If I have to manicure him with rand
paper. Cbnsiderin' the size of the check
I'm to get if I hold him to form. I reckon
the frame's worth stnyiu' with.
That's what's been fntchin' me out
to Soundmoor. where he's located the
fanny for the Summer. It's one of
them Sound front properties that he
leases by the season for about a hun
dred dollars a day. and the Maddoxes
is havin' the time of their lives rat
tlln' round In S' rooms and five acres
of front lawn. Todd, he docs the Fri
day nlsht to Monday mornln' act; not
because lie likes it. but just so's to
keep In touch with mother and the
kids.
That's one, of his good points. Mrs.
Maddnx ain't what you'd call a little
Bright Eyes. Site's about a 46 meas
ure from shoulders to waist, .with a
wash-day complexion and a voice that
could bo against the tomtoms. Pint her
and Todd seems rt do (rood team work,
and so far he don't act like ho was
thlnJiin' of chancin' her for the kind
you can pic k out of a roof-garden chorus.
Well. I was makin" my third trip out
there. Jinil everything was lovely, when
this banzai proposition was sprung.
Mr. Maddnx he meets me at the station
in the black and yellow tourin' car.
wearin' a worried look on his low cut
brow.
"Shorty." says he. "you've mixed
more or less with the ee-ltght. havn't
von ?"
Sure:" says I. "I ain't too proud for
tht."
"Hver run "across any real swell
Japs?" says lie.
"I've seen a few silt-eyes doin' hired
girls' work, and atched others runnln'
roliin" ball-joints and auction houses;
but I can't say I ever met any that
HAD I not so solemnly promised
Nancy. I doubt whether, after all,
I slould have kept my engagement
to spend All-Halloween at the Wilson's
suburban home. Firstly, a committee
meeting had detained me an unconseion- j
able length of time: and secondly, a slight
break to my machine, when only half j
way there, managed to consume the bet- ,
ter part of another precious hour in the
rpairing. so that I was. at last, uncer
tain whether true wisdom lay in going
forward or back.
Remembering, however, that the mystic
ceremonies peculiar to tiiis hoary festival
are mostly performed at midnlgltt or
thereabouts. I proceeded upon my Jour
ney, reaching my destination only a lit
tle before that eerie hour.
Nancy herself let me in dear little
Nancy, who was tonight upon the eve of
her twentieth birthday. She assured me
of a welcome, laid her warm little hand
In mine an instant, and then exclaiming.
"Oil, how cold you are come to the tire!"
drew m unceremoniously Into the din-lr.g-room.
She laughed at my surprised
glance about the dc3erted rooms, and
hastened to explain. "The men are smok
ing in Bob s den: mother and father are
half asleep In the iihrary. and the girls
are in the kitchen not 'eating bread and
lloney.' but making a magic cake with
widen to tempt the fates a cake that
must be mixed and bak"d with never a
fpoken wor.i. ami all undisturbed by tiie
presence of a mail."
I seated myself at Nancy's side, upon
the couch near the oj-n lire. "And you,
tlt'.e scoffer, why area t you in the kitch
en, too?" I asked her.
She grimaced adorably. "I was in
vited." she confided, "and it's no fault
f mine, I assure you. that I am not
there. Alicia happened to remember I
spoiled the mystic number, and so.
Hrgiilng. I suppose, that as I was the
least given to silence, or belief in their
silly superstitions, as well as the least
likely to we.l, I should be properly ban
ished. Oh. look, look! '
Nancy suddenly leaned forward and.
seizing the tongs, knelt down before
the grate and began fishing about in
the bsIm la such a desperate man
ner that I i. Attencd to her side anx
iously. There I cpn d the cause of her con
cern. Side by side, well forward among
the coals, rested several large chest
nuts, all beginning to emit those pre
monitory hisses and sidutters which
foretoken an early explosion.
"I can't leave them, you know, until
on bursts open." she explained, and
her delightful earnestness thrilled me
with a feeding I had never before ex
perienced for Nancy. Of course I knew
the old love test w!l. and the fact
that I had discovered Nancy absorbed
In it surprised and delighted me. as
he had never before, to my knowledge,
evinced the slightest Interest in any
thing sentimental.
I looked at her araln. In the guise
of this newly discovered grace, and
found her a transformed Nancy. It had
ben the ono needful element in her
rome in through the front door,
says
L "Have you?"
"Xo says he. "but there's one due
here Ininofrow night
treat llkt an equal.
that I've got to
lie's a baron I
Baron lloshl."
"You're romln' on." says I. "Next
thing you'll be dlggln' roat '
arms and givin' tea. parties to the King
of Siam. Whcre"d you meet up with a
Jap Baron 7"
Seems that .this was somethin' that
had been slid on to Todd unexpected.
He'd got a cablegram from the main
gadzooks of the steel trust, who was
somewhere's in Europe, . tellln' htm
how the Baron, who lias a lot to do
with glvln' out the Jap armor plate
contracts, was goln to strike New
York, and how he'd got to be taken
care of and taken care of right.
Course, if the big wheel was at home
himself he'd been the one to go on the
job; but as he wa'n't. the arrow points
to Mr. Maddox. Now if it was a case
of productn' estimates on a thousand
tons of air-bubble rails, or buckin' a
puddler's strike, or talkin' Dutch to an
investigate' committee. Todd would
have been Ever Ready Roger; but when
it comes .to doin' the at home for a Far
East gent with a handle to his name, he
don't know where to begin.
You couldn't staBger Todd Maddox for
good, though, unless you dropped a safe
on him. He's one of those bull-necked
bovs. with hair in his ears and a Jaw
like a . stone crusher, and he's ready to
tackle anything batted up to him.
Not bein' thick with any of the real ar
ticles, like Plnckney. or Mr. Purdy Pell,
he has to fall back on a few Pittsburg
friends that lie can round up at the
Broadway hotels, and calls on them for
help. The best they can do is to agree
that sllnpin' the welcome hall to a Jap
calls for a Jap programme. Then they
makes a few notes from what they can
remember of "The Mikado" and "Madam
Butterfly." and there they leaves him.
Todd takes this for a cue and blazes
ahead: but when he starts to work out
the details he finds that he's ballasted
light, and by the time 1 gets on the scene
he's a mile up in the air.
"I've only got 24 hours left before the
Baron shows up here." says he. "and all
I've done is to order a gross of paper Ian
terns to string around the lawn. But
that's no more than the Ladies' A;d So
ciety would do for an ice .cream festival
on the parsonage grounds. I've been
scratching my head for hours, though,
and can't think of another thing."
Are you still stuck on turning Sound
moor into sort of a tea garden?" says I.
"It's my only play to jolly the Baron."
says hi.'.
"Then why not ring up a decorator and
have it done right?" says I.
"Blamed if I'd thought of that!" save
Todd.
You see. he hadn't been travelln' with
the money burners long enough to get
onto their ways of farmin out such things
to expert. Once he gets the idea, though,
he pushes it hard. By 10 o'clock next
mornln' the place was runnin' over with
different gangs a caterer, a costumer. a
decorator, and an agent for an employ
ment bureau and trie' Maddoxes has
worked up a programme of events that
reads like it had been copied off'n a tea
chest.
"There!" says Todd, stickin' his thumbs
under his suspender buckles and shiftin'
his cigar to the other side of his face, "I
guess that'll show him we know how to
fix things up for his kind three dozen
Jap flags, flyin' and draped: paper lan
terns and sunshades everywhere they can
be put: a 24-course Jap dinner, with the
otherwise bewitching makeup to ren
der her absolutely irresistible. All her
former mocks and Jeers at romance
and love had been but a dear pose. then.
And suddenly I realized what a trifling
matter, after all, was her sister Alicia's
preference for a certain Captain Arnold
over myself; and what a bewildering:
picture Nancy made in her long party
dress of pink lawn, with her shining
thick brown braids wound in coronet
style about her shapely head.
Since childhood Nancy had alternately
flattered and flouted me, until I was In
a state of abjectness bordering on slav
ery, and dancing attendance upon her
every capricious whim. It had hither
to been my mental boast that all this
tine siiow of devotion was simply a
part I played for the pleasuring of Nan
ette, whom I ever thought upon as
Alicia's little sister. But tonight I had
found Xamy a tall woman, absorbed In
the mystic ritual of divination on the
question of love, and by that token I
knew my capitulation was complete,
my devotion genuine.
I knelt down beside her and grave
ly gave my attention to the matter in
hand. .
"They Jump about so that I am affald
they might lose their places, and then
1 should not be able to tell which' is
which."
"I sec," I commented. "As I under
stand it. each nut represents a certain
er lover. I - suppose you would not be
likely to teil me their names. Nancy?"
She turned her laughing, fire-flushed
face up to mine, and if at that moment
I had not squeezed the pretty hand
nearest and whispered "Please tell me.
darling!" I should have committed a
far graver breach of manners.
Nancy promptly boxed my ears, and
then with the inconsistency of her every
action, asked solicitously, "Oh, John, did
I hurt you?"
"You did." I returned quickly, de
termining to make the most of what
seemed to me an opportunity I argued
that she might do any of the thousand
and one things of which site was capable
when properly penitent. 0-1 ail I not
seen her. in such moments rub her
Boft cheek against her brother's, rumple
his hair. and. upon one occasion, even
kiss him upon the nose?
"I am truly sorry. John,'" she mur
mured, and I held my breath and waited,
"but it serves you right." she added
practically, "since you know jolly well I
detest anything silly." And the roguish
Nancy of yesterday smiled at me from
the eyes of this other Nancy a Nancy
deeply Interested in the outcome of a
world-old superstition of credulous lovers.
Suddenly she pointed dramatically to
a big. fat. comfortable-looking chestnut,
which, after performing a few stunts in
waltz time, burst wide open.
Clapping her hands. Nancy exclaimed
in joyful excitement. "Oh! goody, goody.
The first one is you, John: the first one is
you r"
"Nancy!" I cried, incredulous of such
good fortune, but finding in the light of
waiters rigged out to match and Mrs.
Maddox wearin' a 90-dollar kimono. If
all that don't knock his eye out I don't
know what will."
"It ought to remind him of home and
mother." says I.
But for all his bein' so satisfied with
the stage sertin', Todd was still nervous.
He'd been so busy collectin' the properties
that he'd forgot there was lines to epeak.
and when this breaks on him he begins to
feel chills along the spine. All the folks
he'd ever had home to dinner before was
m - m Ji P & 1 I Ivf vAv b
L
"PERMIT ME TO PRE6ENT MY TRAVELING COMPANION AND
the kind he could slap on the back and
lead out to where tiie dry Martini's was
all built but droppln' in the olive. Then
after dinner the reg'lar programme was
for all hands to step across the hall and
range themselves around the green cloth
while Todd counted out the stacks of red,
white and blue. As long as the ladles
stayed in- it was nothin' but a mild little
quarter-limit game: but Mrs. Maddox al
ways made the breakaway about 11. and
from then on until 2 A. M., or later, if
next day was Sunday, -Americus club
rules went no limit but the roof.
Outside of distributin' pasteboards, and
loadln a crowd into the tourin' car for a
supper trip to some roadhouse. Todd had
hazy ideas of how to make folks feel glad
they'd come. He did spring the pianola
on them once in a while, or feed some
of May Irwin's gems into the phonograph,
but that was just to fill In time. Burnin'
gasoline and playin' draw was his long
suits.
"But say. Shorty," says he. "do you
think this Baron knows anything of the
game?"
"Gee!" 6ay I. "you can't look for a rice
cat In' foreigner like that to be as refined
and cultivated as you, Mr. Maddox. Ten
her frank pleasure, tne anticipation oi
my own part in the affair most delight
ful, "are you quite, quite sure, dear?
Look again!"
"It certainly is you. John." she an
swered, seriously enough. "I could never
mistake that nice. bi fellow." And then.
In the next breath she exclaimed: "Oh.
dear. I do wish those tiresome girls
would hurry!"
Nancy. Nancy! was ever mortal so ca
pricious? That in one moment she should
profess such Joy in the lover fate had
chosen for her. and In the next -mould
voice such a ridiculous wish, was quite
childish.
But I was not one to let the oppor
tunity of speaking while the moment was
propitious slip through my fingers with
out a desperate effort to improve it, and
(jUD
to one he wouldn't know a straight flush
from a pair of deuces. Guess you'll have
to cut out the poker."
"I was afraid of that." says Todd; "but
what then?"
"Well." says I, "I expect you'll haveUo
lead off with a speech of . welcome,
through the interpreter."
"A what?" says Todd, growin' bugeyed.
"Why. say. Shorty, I couldn't make a
speech any more than I could tie myself
m a bow "knot."
"Oh. you can cook up some sort of a
Jolly." says I. "Just fire it at him off
hand, and maybe I'll have a chance to
pass a 20 to whoever does the translatin'.
and he'll polish it up as he passes the
language on."
That helped some; but It was an hour
before Maddox got over the nervous chill
brought on by the thoughts of havin' to
make a speech. He was game, though.
He had hte eye on them armorplate con
tracts that ought to be comin' his way,
and he meant to do what was right and
proper by the Baron, even if it went so
far as sayln' grace at dinner.
"Honest." says I, "you wouldn't tackle
the Job of spielin' off a blessin'?"
"Sure!" says Todd. "All the one I know
is 'Now I lay me; but I guess I could
struggle through that-"'
We agreed, though, that the Baron bein'
a heathen, It would be safe to leave this
out; and that brings u to swappin" views
about Japs in general. The Baron
wouldn't have been much" puffed up if
he could have heard that argument; for
we finally settles it that he must be a
sort of a cross between a Chink laundry
man and an East Side peddler, with a
little 6traln of Frenchman thrown in. We
takes it for granted that he'll eat with
TONGS.
l Knew my chances of being interrupted
were growing less each moment. Then I
had an inspiration;
"ro you really care so much about that
cake. Nancy?" I asked her: "for if not,
I have a beautiful plan for some fun.
Let's go together,, you and I, and pull
up some cabbages from the Mulkey's
back yard."
Nancy sparkled. "Oh, John, how deli
cious!" she exclaimed. "Wait just one
moment, please," and vanishing above
stairs she soon returned wearing a dark
cloak with riding hood that completely
enveloped her. We stole forth, and after
leaving the glaring circle cast by a big
electric arc near we found ourselves in a
weird semi-darkness that seemed es
pecially befitting a midnight adventure.
Nancy snuggled closer. We walked a
his fingers and wipe his" mouth on his
sleeve: but Maddox says he's prepared to
overlook anything in Teason.
And that was our state of mind when
we sees the party roliin' up the drive in
the two carriages Todd has sent for 'era.
"Great Scott'"says I. viewln' the ag
gregation, "there ain't a rattan hat or a
cotton bathrobe in the bunch." You know
them pictures on Jap fans? Well, we was
goln' by them.
"They must have stopped at some
ready-made clothing store on the way
up." says Todd.
But there wa'n't any sweatshop tags on
them frock coats or white vests, for they
fitted as well as anything you'll see on
r
MEMBER OF MY STAFF."
Fifth avenue: and the silk lids was this
season's block.
"Maybe this is only the advance guard,"
says I, "and the Baron is bein' lugged up
by hand. In a swing chair."
NoUiin" of the kind, though. A cute lit
tle brunette gent, wearin' gold-rimmed
eye-glasses and carryin' a cane, hops out
and asks which is Mr. Maddox. Havin'
got that straight, he points to a round
faced, rolypoly duck who was dressed to
the minute, and says, "Allow me to pre
sent Baron. Hoshi."
"Here's where you do your speech of
welcome." I whispers to Todd, nudgin'
his elbow. "Jump in and turn on the
hot air."
Sure enough. Todd was there with the
goods. "Say," says he to the pinhead.
"I'd like to have you pass it on to the
Baron that I'm mighty glad to see him.
foreigner or not. Tell him that so long
as him and his friends stay around the
place I want him to remember that this
la Liberty Hall, and If he don't see what
he wants all he's got to do is ask for It.
Now you dress that up in polite Jap con
versation, and I'll make it right with
you."
Does anybody crack a smile or throw
A HALLOWE'EN STORY
. BY LOUISE LEXINGTON .
half-dozen blocks or so, crossed a vacant
lot that separated the Mulkeys kitchen
garden from the street, and soon had the
satisfaction of seeing the long straight
rows of cabbages which somehow in their
nice order reminded me of nothing so
much as miniature tombstones. But Nancy
declared they looked like the garden of
babies which "Sweet-One-Darling" dis
covered upon the other side of the moon.
We went forward rather stealthily,
clambered over the high board fence and
found ourselves suddenly surrounded by
cabbages, great and. small. Nancy, gig
gling nervously, hastily Jerked tip the
first one that came to band in a hit or
miss manner and started for the fence
without much ado; but I was finding it
extremely difficult In such an overwhelm
ing profusion to.declde upon any-particu
a look sideways? Nix! Not one of the
bunch so much as bats an eyelid; but the
Baron steps out, takes off his silk bonnet,
and gives us a straight English come
back that was a little the smoothest and
politest cluster of language I ever lis
tened to. Knglish, mind you. and no
pigeon-toed stuff at that! Say. there was
words me and Maddox wouldn't have
tried to unload if we'd been talkin' to the
man that made the dictionary. Hoshi has
got our wind, first rattle out of the box.
"Why why." says Maddox. turntn'
etrawb'rv pink clear up behind his ears.
"I was of the idea that you couldn't ex
couldn't talk "
'Certainly, certainly." says the Baron,
"quite a natural mistake. But, while my
knowledge of your language is somewhat
imperfect, I think we shall hardly require
the services of an Interpreter. Permit me
to present my traveling companions and
members of my staff." -
There was a General, and a navy Cap
tain, and a profess., not to mention two
or three who was secretaries of some
thing or other. Then the Baron looks at
mo kind of expectant.
"Oh," says Maddox. takin the hint,
"this is Professor Shorty McCabe."
"Ah!" says the Baron. "Harvard or
Yale?"
"Them was two close guesses, says l:
"but you've got a lot more comin'. I'm
professor of physical culture, and any
time you're knockin' around Forty-second
street I'd be pleased to have you drop
into my studio and look me over."
The Baron, lie swallows hard a couple,
of times, and then he says he'll be
charmed to do It. We shook on that; but
I was measurin' him up curious, and I
guess he was doin' the same by me.
though you can't judge what them kind
of people are thinkin' about.
. By tliis time Todd has got his second
wind and takes the bunch in tow. leadin"
'em around the grounds and pointin' out
the decorations. Maybe if the bottom
hadn't dropped out of his plans he'd have
found somethin' better to do; but I will
swy for them banzai gents that they tries
to' look interested. You couldn't much
blame 'em, though, for not -workln' up
much excitement over strings of paper
lanterns.
I knew Madriox was bankin" on the din
ner as his big card: but we hadn't got
away with more'n three courses before
the frost began to settle down hard. Even
Mrs. Maddox, loomin' up at one end of
the table in a kimono so stiff with long
legged birds worked it gold thread that
it looked like she was draped in sheet
iron, couldn't cheer us up. Without sayin'
a word on either side, it was plain as day
we wa'n't makin' a hit with the comp ny;
and for all Maddox tries it was easy to
see he didn't think much of them. But
he'd done his best. Everything was as
Jappy as an Italian caterer could make
it, and the costumes of the waiters was
just as real as if they'd come'right out of
a "Mikado" chorus. Maybe the food
slingers was .blacks and Guineas; but
their uniforms was correct.
I, don't know if it was real Jap food
they dealt out to us or not; but it sure
did taste punk. Blamed if I could eat it,
and when I casts my eye up and down
the table to see how the Japs was gettin
on. I notices that they was Just makin' a
bluff. One or two side remarks in their
own lingo too sounds a good deal like
growltn'. Todd must liave got wise to
the way things was goln' about that time,
for he begins to get a color on. All of a
sudden he pushes back his chair and
breaks loose.
"Baron," says he, "I don't know how
you feel about it, but it strikes me this
bill of fare is about the worst that ever
happened. Fact is, I laid myself out to
give you the things you've been used to
at home: but L guess I've four-flushed.
Ain't that about the size of It?"
Why," says the Baron, rubbin' his chin
lar one and for no definable reason kept
rejecting this one and that. As I was
thus casting aimlessly about an enormous
mastiff rushed from his kennel and with
fearful leaps and bounds made directly
for us, barking furiously.
"Run!" I warned Nancy, and deter
mining to use a kale stock for our de
fense in absence of a better weapon, I
yanked up the nearest one and started
after Nancy, who had by now, I was
happy to see, tumbled gracefully over the
fence in a little dark heap on the other
side. As I ' reached the fence the big
brute pursuing me made a final vicious
lunge, and. Just missing my hand, burled
his teeth in the cabbage I carried.
I heard his jaws grit together ominous
ly. Before he could snap the second time
I had landed beside Nancy minus my
"kale stock" and too much out of breath
to utter a syllable.
Nancy, mistaking my silence, I suppose,
began to. cry hysterically, and at that I
got to my feet and helped her up.
"Oh, John." she said, tremulously, ex
amining in turn each of my hands
which held her own; "I was so sure
he had bitten you. I was so sure I I
was afraid to ask," she added, with a
sobbing catch in her voice.
I laughed, purposely indifferent, and
said: 'Not a scratch, Nancy! I'm all
here. Not even a piece gone from my
Sunday coat-tall. But he everlastingly
spoiled that cabbage, Nancy, and it was
a dandy!"
But Nancy refused to treat the mat
Lord Wolseley
TIMES have clianged for the con
queror. Once the mighty general, who won
battles, changed maps and fixed the im
print of his mastery on world politics,
became the custodian of wealth untold.
Now the general can only profit by
that portion of the booty that his coun
try wills he should have, and " to con
quer in a great war is by no means to
be sure of a life freed from the cares
and worries of finance '
Lord Wolseley, of England, is now
finding out this fact, just as General
Grant, in the United States, discovered
it a generation ago.
Thft illustrious career of this noted
British soldier, who at one time wasfl
spoken of as England s only soldier,
is having the most pathetic of endings.
He- has conducted noted campaigns
In Canada, in India, In Egypt, and in
the least civilized portions of Africa.
Almost always success has been his.
only one noted early failure being
charged against him. He did not reach
Khartoum in time to save "Chinese
Gordon." who was beleaguered there.
But even this one misfortune was shown
to have been no fault of his. and was
not permittted to put any smirches on
his brilliant record.
His successes were the boast of the
army. The soldiers loved to recite his
deeds in the Burmese war, now more
than half a century ago, of how. he had
fought with distinction in the war of
thoughtful, "I must admit that the.
dishes are not entirely familiar: but'I as
sure vou that the compliment tliey were
intended to convey is deeply appreciated.
It hit Maddox where he lived, that little
speech did. "Now that's what I call gen
erous." savs he. "Suppose we sidetrack
the rest of this near-food and call for a
new deal?" .
The Baron asks him not to bother. He
was for stickin' to the card and hopin' for
the best; but Todd has got his jaw set.
"Maria " says he. "suppose you step out
to the kitchen, head off that Dago cook,
and see if Mrs. Nolan can t rustle up
some kind of a meal that will be fit for
us to eat."
"But Todd " begins Mrs. Maddox.
Todd, he just gives her one look and
jerks his thumb over his shoulder towards
the kitchen. That settles it. With Iter
face the color of a red flannel undershirt
Maria gets up and trots out. In a couple
of minutes she was back, whispenn' in
liis c&r
"Corned beef and cabbage?" says Todd.
"Good! Tell the help they can have a.l
the imitation Japanese grub they want,
and let the beef and cabbage come our
way in a hurry."
And say. that was the kind of home
grown, hodcarrier's banquet we hands out
to the Jap Baron murphies boiled in their
skins, corned beef well streaked with fat.
new cabbage, and plenty of bottled beer
that came fresh right off the ice.
Did he shy it? Not so you could .notice
with the naked eye. Todd has the plat
ters set right on tho table, and by the
time the ten of us has got through passln'
up for more there wa'n't much use
washin' the dishes. Three empty beer
bottles stands before the Baron's plate
when the apple pie was brought in, and
he's wearin' a look of brotherly love ths
was cheerin' to see. All the rest of liU
crowd had followed suit: but so far aii
destroyin' food went, Hoshi was high
man.
"Mr. Maddox," says he, pattin his vest,
"I have been promising myself for ten
years that when I returned to the United
States I wfiuld go back to the New Haven
board Ing-house where T lived during my
college course, and indulge myself in Just
such a meal as this."
"College?" says Maddox. "Say. you
don't mean to tell Us that you went to
Yale? Then maybe while you were ther
you learned something about drawing
three cards?"
"If 1 had been more proficient in that
extra, or not taken It up at all. my edu
cation might not have been such an ex
pensive matter," says the Baron, givin'
him the wink. "It was only in my senior
year that I came to realize the folly of
holding up a kicker when the luck was
running against me."
"You'll do!" says Madtlox joyfully.
"Would you object to our making up five
hands for this evening?"
It was the easiest thing in the world;
for that was the most refined and ac
complished bunch of Japs you could ask
to meet. Inside of half an hour Todd and
the Baron and three others was sittin'
comfortable and happy around the smokin'
room table, while Mrs. Maddox) who'd
shed her kimono for something light and
dressy, had rung the others into a pool
game and was spottin' five balls for the
best of 'em. So what looks at the start
to be a session of the Hammer club, ends
up like a reunion of the blue and the
gray.
"Shorty," says Mr. Maddox to me next
mornin". after he knew the contracts was
safe, "we were dead wrong in sizing up
the Baron the way we did. He's no more
an Oriental heathen than you and I are."
"Banzai!" says I. "I guess you both
think better of each other than you did.
Bottled suds and draw poker is great civ
ilizers." (Copyright, 190S, Associated Sunday Mag
azine.) V .
ter lightly. "John," she whispered,
tragically, "I heard his awful jaws
crunch together, and it might have
been you! It might have been you,
John or me!" This last in a pitiful
little way that went to my heart.
I crushed her bands between my own,
and declared solemnly with my lips
close to her ear: "No, Nancy, little
girl. It could never have been you not
until he had first eaten me all up.
Nancy for I love you better than my
life."
Nancy raised two luminous eyes to
mine, and I felt the loose earth from
her cabbage root trickle merrily down
my back. "John," she asked, "I was
Just wondering what Dot Bartoour
would say to this!".
I had just been wondering what
Nancy's mother would say to it, but
her remark made me ask in astonsih
ment:' "What ever has Dot Barbour to do
with It., darling?"
"Nothing, John, just nothing at all,"
Nancy assured me in a muffled voice,
"only, you see. those were her chestnuts
I was watching tonight, and she was
quite anxious about the result, and, oil.
I thought the result would particularly
please her."
"And was that why you seemed so
glad, Nancy? Would you hand me over
to Dot Barbour, with a joyful. 'Oh,
goody! goody"" I reproached her
mournfully.
"No, John, dear not now!" Nancy
answered me. and I was content.
When in Power
the Crimea, aided in the supprcsssion of
the Indian mutiny, battled against the
Chinese in 1860, helped in the Red River
expedition of 1870, led the Ashantee
campaign of 1873-4, fought in Soutli Af
rica live years later and was commander-in-chief
of the British forces in
Egypt iu 1882. Now in his 75tli year of
life, the old fighter finds his reputation
gone, he is poor and friendless and that
nation which once' worshiped him has
turned against him.
The Boer war, which was a tragedy to
so many reputations, put Lord Wolseley
on the downward path.
When Wolseley was a,t the summit of
his fame a grateful country toad voted
him liberal rewards, a large sum of
money being placed at his command.
But Wolseley. like many another sol
dier, understood little of the art of in--esting
money. In his desire to so place
his wealth that it would bring him the
greatest possible returns, he fell into
the hands of a company of sharpers, and
they ended by completely stripping him.
Now as he is tottering to the grave, a
broken and helpless old man. he finds
himself compelled to sell everything lie
has. his home, furniture, his relics, al
most everything, in order to raise the
funds to go to the Continent, where he
can live more cheaply than at home, and
where perhaps he will not so often bfl
reminded of the past glory that was onco
his. but which has now gone from him
forever.