The Sunday Oregonian., September 06, 1908, Magazine Section, Page 3, Image 49

' 3 r
THE STJXPAY OREGOXIAy, PORTLAND, SEPTE3IBER 6, 1903.
BT JOHN ELFRETH W ATKINS.
THE
di
o
HE small party Presidential can
didates of this campaign present
ome strange contracts. Besides
Taft and Bryan. Ave other men have
so far been nominated for the Chief
Magistracy.
Probably the strsngest nomination
ever made within the acope of our
entire political history Is that of Mar
tin R. Preston. Just named for Presi
dent by the Socialist Labor party, in
plte of the fact that he is ten years
below the constitutional age limit for
that office and is ncjw in the peniten
tiary commencing a 25-year term for
second-degree murder. Preston was
born 25 years ago In Memphis. Tenn..
and, after receiving a common-school
education, became an electric lineman.
He was at Goldfleld, Nev., during the
great strike there, three years ago. and.
being a union man. acted as a strike
picket. While so engaged he shot and
killed Anton Sllva. a saloonkeeper, and
after being tried and convicted of mur
der in the second degree was received
at the Nevada state prison, Carson
City, on May 20, 1907. to begin a 43
year term. The Socialist Labor leader
who placed his name In nomination
at the recent convention of. that party
said that it made no difference whether
Preston was below the constitution
age limit or not: that "if he is elected
he will be seated." and that "const!
tutions are for the people, and not the
people for constitutions."
Can't Receive Because Felon
But the convention by nominating
him overlooked another deterrent that
Preston, being, in the eyes of the law,
a felon, has not the rights of a citizen
and could not be voted for legally even
If his time In the penitentiary were
served. The Socialist Laborltes accept
Preston in the same category of mar
tyrdom to which Haywood, recently
tried for complicity in the murder of
Governor Steunenburg, was elevated
by their near-brethren. the Socialists
proper. They claim that the strike
picket, while acting as the protector
of defenseless girls, enraged the rea
taurantkeeper. who was about to kill
Preston,' when the latter shot In self
defense. However this may be, the
Jury thought otherwise.
"His conduct here has been exem
plary. He is Industrious and intelli
gent and has a good countenance," the
warden of the penitentiary informs me
In answer to my inquiry concerning
this unusual candidate's life in prison.
Perhaps "Morrle" Preston will make
of himself another Jean Valjean. Let
us hope so. If he makes good after
surviving such a sentence he will per
form a greater miracle than winning
a Presidential race.
Another One With Prison Record.
Another nominee with a prison record
one of which he is proud is Gugene
Victor Debs, again named for the Presi
dency by the Socialists proper, as he waa
four years ago by the same party, and
eight years ago by the "Social Demo
crats." Debs, who is now 53. was born
In Terrs Haute, Ind., where he still lives.
After receiving a common school educa
tion he berama a locomotive fireman on
the Terre Haute A Indianapolis Railroad
when only 18. and continued to stoke the
engines of that road until 19. Then he
entered a wholesale grocery house, and
there worked until 14. when, having In
terested himself in politics, he was elected
City Clerk of Terre Haute, serving four
years, and when 30 married and went to
the Legislature. Having entered the
Brotherhood of Locomotive Firemen while
working on the road, he had remained
active with that union, and when 25 had
ben elected grand secretary and treas
urer, which position he held until 1893,
the year of the--World's Fair in Chicago,
when he was chosen president of the
American Railway Union. The year fol
lowing the fair came the great railway
strike in Chicago, when President Cleve
land ordered out the Federal troops to
protect the United States malls. It was
during this bitter controversy and its
Incidental riots that Debs came Into the
Gnagg Checks His Wife's Bills
Incidentally He Utters Some Remarks That Do Xot Conduce to His Peace of Mind.
New York Sun.
m R. GNAGG, going over the weekly
jJ accounts and finding therein the
uaual number of items calculated
to arouse his wrath. regales Mrs.
Gnagg witto the following running
comment:
Now, look here: we might Just t
well have an understanding about tbi
business right now as any other time.
What is your Idea about the amount of
money that I-earn, anyhow? When
and where and how did you first pick
up the notion that you were married to
a millionaire?
It's up to me to find out. It'a up to
mo to begin at the beginning and get
at the bottom of the meaning of this
stupendous, this hideous, this wanton,
colossal, reckless, merciless extrava
gance of yours- I'm naturally a pa
tient man. but I Intend to find out from
you how you happened to gather this
weird whimsical Idea that your hus
band was the president of a National
bank or the manipulator of a corner In
cotton or Scotty the Spender or Coal Oil
Johnny. ...
How's that? I never tell you anything
about my business affairs? Oh. that's it.
Is it? You're getting hunk with me be
cause I don't furnish you with a daily
balance sheet of my afairs. eh?
Huh: You don't care to pry Into my
business, but you do wish that you had
a regular household allowance, so that
there wouldn't be this constant fussing
over accounts? So it's an allowance
you're clamoring for now. is it? And
your Idea of the best way to get such an
allowance la to run up these weekly bills
beyond all reason, all common sense, so
that according to your view I'll be glad
to maks you a hefty weekly allowance
about three-quarters of what I earn would
be about right, according to your idea, I
dare say in self-defense.
Well, you're not going to get away with
that scheme, either. I can tell you that.
I expect to hang on to the purse strings
of this tepee Just as long aa I'm able to
creep out o' mornings to get the money.
If I were plnhead enough to pass that end
of it ever to you I'd be listening all the
time for the clatter of the poorhouse
wagon to come to yank us out of a sold
up house and home.
Now Just take a Pek at this Item, for
example a dollar and forty cents for
lamb chops!
Great Heaven, Is this a lumberjack
camp? Or is the whole United States
- ; : ' : - . . ' ' S
i: ' ; ' j
h . : '
I V 7P I
! VNC XT
! i
limelight as manager of the strike. While
lt was In progress he was arrested, first.
for conspiracy, but acquitted, end a sec
ond time for contempt of court for violat
ing an injunction. On the latter charge
he served the. term in prison six months
which has since held him a martyr in the
eyes of a certain element of tne popula
tion. He is a fiery orator, an agitator
of the firebrand type, and is already
being heard on the stump.
Populist Candidate Self-Made Man.
The Populist Presidential nominee.
Thomas E. Watson, is a man of big
caliber, and Is known far more widely
than Is his party. He Is of Quaker stock.
and while one of Theodore Roosevelt's
ancestors was revolutionary Governor of
Georgia, Mr. Watson's ancestors at the
same time sat in the revolutionary legisla
ture of the state. BiX the Civil War
ruined his parents, and what little prop
erty they saved after that struggle was
lost in the great panic of '73. when they
were driven from the last of their Georgia
plantations, between' the Savannah and
the Ogeechee. Tom, a red-haired, freckle-
faced lad, 1iad been receiving free tuition
from a Baptist school, under the "poor
and deserving" clause, but now that his
parents were too poor to longer pay his
board he went out in the fields to work.
Next he taught a country school, one of
whose rules, which he has preserved and
shown to me, was aa follows:
"The said teacher shall not be allowed
to correct no studant In any way only
by a switch, the skin not be cut and not
to be abused otherwise." Other of the
rules written by the trustees of this
"Central .Warrior District Accadamy"
were:
"All abusive language such as cursing
and swearing Is attually forbidden."
"There shall no studant be allowed to
carry consealed weppons." "There shall
be no climbing of fences, rest ling or
throwing of rocks at each other alowed."
"No student is alowed to fight In school
or on there way too or from school, nor
no news to be carrlade too or from
school."
Waa a Farm Laborer.
Between terms at this "Centrial Accad
amy" Tom Watson worked as a farm
laborer, and during sessions boarded with
a farmer who lent him the money to buy
his first law book, which he studied by
the glare of this friend's pine-knot fire.
In spite of these handicaps he was ad
mitted to the bar at 19 and at 20 returned
home and opened an office. He now had
not. a decent chang6 of clothing to his
back, but one of his former schoolmates,
R. H. rearce, gave him his first lift by
Army holding Its Autumn maneuvers in
this flat? Or did you have the man
charge me a dollar forty for lamb chops
and get a pound of dollar candy on that
charge? -
You'll never be able to get away with
It In 10,000 years that you bought a dollar
and forty cents worth of lamb chops for
any ordinary purpose around here, and If
you think
Huh? You got the dollar forty worth
of lamb chops four pounds, at 85 cents
a pound on the day that my mother and
sisters came down from The Bronx to
Uke luncheon with you. and they're all
frightful meat eaters, and now, look
here, whatever else you do, I am not
going to permit you to alt there and
knock my people Just to cover up your
own tracks.
I am not going to permit you to get me
off on a side issue. That' the old femi
nine method getting a man tied up with
some silly minor point of an argument
until he's hopelessly switched off the
main line. Now here's another item that
needs some Illumination eight heads of
lettuce, at 16 cents a head, a dollar
twenty.
What have you got to say about that?
Why. woman, I'd undertake to feed the
biggest warren of rabbits or guinea pigs
on the civilised globe on eight heads of
lettuce and still have enough left over to
fill a shed! Now before you open your
mouth Just think that over. Don't try to
squirm around and wriggle and frame up
fairy tales and then end by telling me
that you got the eight heads of lettuce
to ornament the walls hereof of the meet
ing of your church guild or to
What's that? The eight heads of let
tuce were got for the salad on the even
ing I had that pinochle party here? Oh,
well, that's different. Why didn't you
say so. then? And you don't have to
sneer when you advert to my little
pinochle party either. I don't get much
out of life, remember that, except my
board and lodging, and if I choose to have
a few friends In fr a game of pinochle
once In a while, why, you needn't curl
your lip over it and ramp and roar around
about the trouble lt puts you to to make
a little lettuce salad for them you
needn' t.
Say. what's this? Twenty-five pounds
of sugar? What are you trying to do,
bull the Havemeyer stocks? Twenty-five
pounds of sugar! Well, if that
What do you do with sugar, wash
clothes with it or give it to the Janitor to
sprinkle the halls with before sweeping?
Or does that item, too, conceal some other
UE ii
FOR
TWOS' X - yycSW
offering to trust him for a whole year's
board.
The receipts of Tom Watson's first
year as an attorney were 1212, and the
first $20 that came in he sent to- his
mother. The second year he re-established
his parents, brothers and sisters
In one of the old family homes which
had gone beneath the Sheriff's ham
mer, and from here, with his dinner
in a kettle, he walked three miles to
office every morning, also three miles
back each afternoon. Before long he
was earning $12,000 a year and had
bought back several thousands of acres
of the ancestral estate. His political
debut, made when but 24. was a fiery
speech delivered on the minority side
of a hot debate in a Democratic state
convention. The frail, red-headed rus
tic lawyer was unknown when he rose.
purchase of your own that you don't
want me to know anything about? Now
see here, there's no use shuffling about
In this mattetr. I want a plain answer,
and if
How's that? Oh, you used that sugar
to put up peach preserves with? Well,
why the dickens didn't you say so In the
first place? iou can open your mouth,
can't you? You're not dumb, are you?
I'm not doing this for fun. It's business
to me. And if you can't help me by at
least opening your face once In a while,
how d'ye expect me to get through with
the Job? '
Say, look a-here, what's this one lob
ster a dollar and a half? Now begHi to
wriggle about that: why don't you? I
'pose you'll be telling me that I ate that
whole dollar and a half lobster myself?
I recommend you to be explicit and
prompt in Informing me with reference to
this dollar and a half lobster. You want
to keep it in mind, too, that I don't eat
lobster and that I've never seen a lobster
on my table, because even If you do like
the fool vulgar things I don't, and I guess
I've got a right to have one or two little
prejudice of that sort, much as you'll
be disposed to deny that proposition.
Well, I'm welting. Is this charge cor
rect or did the man get lt on our ac
count by mistake?
Oh, you got the lobster to make salad
with at that little luncheon party of
women you had here the other day, eh?
Uh-huh. All right. I haven't anything
to say about that, of course. Wouldn't
dare open my mouth with regard to It.
But it's a wonder to me that you
wouldn't feed the women that come to
these hen parties of yours it's a wonder
you wouldn't give 'em ftllilloo birds'
tongues and things like that. They'd
cost more than lobstber. you know, and
that ought t help a lot, according to
your way of looking at things.
And how often do you give these ex
travagant blowouts for these women, any
how? I'll bet they've beert here to lunch
eon eight or ten times this month already.
I wonder if they think I'm running a free
lobster plant here.
Now, for Heaven's sake, don't begin
that old wall that I'm trying to separate
you from every friend you ever had. All
I'm saying is that K's a wonder to me
that these women wouldn't be able to get
along on something else beside lobster
every time they float around here to get
something to eat- 111 bet you'd yell mur
fer in 14 different languages if I tried to
feed the fellows that drop In here once
every year or so for a game of cards if
PERSONAbliy OF
FIVE MEN WO ABE
eowTETme with
AMD
THE 6RMT PRIZE
K , .v.
At first he was greeted with groans,
but before he had finished his audience
cheered with delight, and every one
asked his name. Two years later his
neighbors sent him to the Legislature,
and i 1888 he stumped for Cleveland
and was a Democratic Elector-at-large.
Fought, the Bag Tru6t.
Next he led a fight against the Jute
bagging trust, and in reward for this
the farmers elected him to Congress.
But after his election he came out as a
Populist. This disgusted his Democra
tic friends, who, when he was a can
didate again in 1892. and 1894 counted
him out, he claims, and deliberately
gave the certificate of election to his
opponent. Steadfastly claiming these
two elections, he carried his contest to
the House of Representatives, but there
I were to put lobster before them. I can
hear you now. Oh, well, what's the
use?"
Have they sent the telephone bill yet?
Let's see it. Thunder and blaies! What's
the meaning of this? Six dollars and
ninety cents for a telephone bill?
Oh, by Jinks, this Is too much of a
good thing! I won't stand this. I'm going
to find out about this. I can stand
hitched and tolerate a lot, but this is
rubbing lt in. Six ninety for a telephone
bill! It's outrageous! It's scandalous!
This Is the straw that breaks the camel's
back.
What do you do, sit down at the tele
phone the minute I turn my back to go
to work, and spend all the rest of the
day calling up your bunch of women
friends and discuss the latest fiction with
them and talk about shirtwaist embroid
ery and shadow work and the best rem
edy for a sunburnt nose, and all that kind
o' thing? Or do you take the receiver
down and forget to put It back and allow
my telephone bill to pile up that way?
Or do you have all of the women that
you know in this building do their tele
phoning in here?
By craoky, I'm going to find out about
this If you sit there like a wooden im
age and refuse to open you mouth there's
another way of finding out. I'll Just call
up the company and ask them to give me
an Itemized list of calls, with the num
bers, and I'll trace, this thing to the bot
tom, that's what I will. I'll stand impo
sition up to Just a certain point, but then.
I boil over. I'll Just get that telephone
manager on the wire and I'll
Huh! The bill's so big this month be
cause I talked for 20 minutes to that
friend of mine In Boston, and
Now, see here, is there any reason on
earth why you could not have reminded
me of that before I got all worked up
over this telephone bill?' Or do you en
Joy seeing me perplexed and baffled and
all that kind of thing In this kind of
weather? ' Therw you sit knowing all the
time that the bill is so big on account
of that long distance call of mine and
you don't so much as lisp one word and
Oh, well. It's my own fault. I went into
the thing with my eyes open. I made my
bed and now it's my Job to lie upon it.
I've got a swell right to bleat, haven't I,
after the blunder I made! . .
Ko Mora Conservatories.
In old-time novels of ths heart
Conservatories played their part.
As well you know. -Twu
there the hero said his lova
And told his troubles to the dovs
la accents low.
But novelists, ers very long.
Will and their troubles coming strong
No doubt of that. .
How will an author novals pen
When sveryone within his ken
Lives in a flat?
EI I ..s - ?
lost During his term In the House he I South." He has published four maga
oinnii1 th first annronrlatlon for rural I sines has two on the stalls now. He
mail delivery ever passed by Congress,
and In 1896, two years after his final
contest for a seat in the H6use, he
was nominated for Vice-President on
the Populist ticket with Bryan. After
that strenuous campaign he again ac
cused the Democrats of unfair treat
ment. Four years ago the Populists
nominated him for president, and he
started an active campaign to revive
the party, as he will do again this
Autumn, following his second nomina
tion for the highest office.
Life Work as Historian.
Mr. Watson's real life work, not
commenced until after the campaign of
1896, has been the writing of history.
In two years he produced his "Story
of France," and two years later his
"Life of Jefferson," while in two years
more his pen had produced his "Na
poleon." which has been followed by
another book on Jefferson, besides a
novel, "Bethany, a Story of the Old
Battleships of Tomorrow
Early Construction of the 25, 000-Ton Monster Among the Probabilities.
The coming of the Dreadnoughts, as all
the world knows, has meant a complete
revolution in naval construction. In the
opinion of most Naval officers the future
is to the power which possesses most of
these ships and can use them well, writes
H. W. Wilson In. the London Daily Mail.
It will be of interest, then, in view of
the pause which has been made during
the present year in shipbuilding, to ex
amine how the British navy stands in
this latest type of ship and what are the
designs likely to be adopted in the near
future. The Admiralty is committed to
the large battleship and it will scarcely
go back. Nor would it be wise to do so
In view of the fact that almost all for
eign powers are faithfully copying British
designs.
For the present year two monster ships
a battleship and a cruiser have been
voted. The battleship, contrary to the
reports circulated, will be similar in all
important respects to the St. Vincents.
That is to say she will displace 19,200 tons
or thereabouts, will carry 10 or 12 12-inch
guns, and .will be propelled by turbine
engines actuated by steam. Thus she will
make up the group of four St. Vincents,
and when she is completed for sea the
British navy will possess two groups,
each four strong of all big gun battle
ships. The other vessel will resemble
the Invlnclbles, with Improvements, and
will complete the group of four 25-knot
cruiser battleships.
So much for the present. It will be
seen that there is nothing sensational in
the design of the ships for thle year
which are meant to fill gaps In the ex
isting organization. But next year it is
possible that there may be new and
startling departures. From hints which
Ministers and others have dropped, the
Admiralty will be compelled to ask for
not fewer than five monster battleships.
More may be needed, but this must neces
sarily depesd on the progress which for
eign ships make In the next few months.
Germany it must be remembered has
today building or sanctioned seven battle
ships of Dreadnought type (agalnet the
British eight) and two, or possibly three,
cruisers of the Invincible type (against
the British four). And under her fixed
programme she will lay down three more
monster battleships and one more mon
ster cruiser next year, the battleships, lt
is believed, displacing 21,000 tons or even
more. A British programme of five bat
tleships and one monster armored cruiser
would bring the British total of Dread
has written poems and still plays the
fiddle. Wallace Putnam Reed once said
that his slight figure and flashing eyes
suggested "a soul of flame in a body
of gauze." He la still a lean- and hun
gry Caseins, and already is upon the
hustings bitterly attacking his former
running mate and present rival for the
Presidency, Mr. Bryan. He will have
celebrated his 52d birthday on the eve
of the publication of this article.
Began as Clothing Store Clerk.
Another Presidential nominee who
came Into local fame by chasing the
octopus Is "Honest Tom" Hisgen,
known in his family Bible as Thomas
L. He is three years older than Mr.
Pebs and two years younger than Mr.
Watson will be an even 50 a few
weeks before election day. This leader
of Mr. Hearst's Independence ticket Is
the son of William Hisgen, a German
immigrant, who settled In Albany, N.
Y., and later ran , a country store In
noughts up to only 18,-. as against the
German total of 13 or 14. The British
margin of four or five ships, which it
would give, would be far less than what
the strict two-power standard demands.
If, then, we assume that the British
programme consists of five battleships
and one improved Invincible and nothing
less will satisfy the claims of National
security it is probable that the Admiralty
will lay down one group of four Improved
St. Vincents four battleships, that to to
say, each carrying 12 12-inch guns. But
the fifth battleship may quite possibly
be an experimental ship, a new type,
built rapidly and tested with the object of
gaining experience for a new class which
will figure in the programmes of 1910 and
1911. Here much will obviously depend on
the action of foreign powers and whether
the reports prove correct which credit
the German Admiralty with the intention
of building vessels far larger and more
powerfully armed than any yet designed.
If such an experimental ship is to be
built with great speed to obtain ex
perience the orders for her guns, bar
bettes and machinery will be given well
in advance, before she is even voted,
and they may be placed in the Summer or
Autumn of the present year. The same
course was followed in the case of the
Dreadnought.
The new ship will not Improbably carry
a new monster gun, the 13.6-Inch, eight
or ten of which may be mounted, and will
thus carry out the policy of "out-Dread-noughtlng
the Dreadnought." One or two
of these guns, according to report, have
been building for some months, and the
employment of them in the St. Vincent
class is known to have been considered
and only reluctantly abandoned. All the
details are 'confidential, but the German
naval handbooks will supply the public
with what is certainly an intelligent guess
and possibly accurate information. Ac
cording to them the new 13.5-lnch gun will
weigh 86 tons, or nearly 30 tons more than
the existing 12-Inch weapon; will be about
63 feet long, and will fire a shell weighing
about 1300 pounds or 1400 pounds, as
agalnet the 12-inch shell's 850 pounds.
Such huge projectiles would pierce five
feet of iron and tear their way through
the best modern armor at battle range.
To mount guns of the size and length
so that they will be able to fire on either
broadside is a matter of extreme diffi
culty so long as funnels remain. But there
is some hope of getting rid of them and
thus giving a clear field of fire. The
Belleville company is said to be designing
a boiler which needs no funnel above
Petersburg, Ind.. where "Honest Tom
was born. Some genius hath lately
said that "Indiana is a great state to
come frorn." and young Hisgen evident
ly shared this view, for at the age of
16 he left Hooslerdom and returned to
Albany, his father's original stopping
place. Being the fifth -of 11 children,
his father did not buy him a Pullman
ticket. Reaching the capital of the
Empire state, he went to work in a
clothing store. Next he drifted to
Massachusetts and entered politics,
waging a bitter 20-year war on the
Standird Oil Company, which struggle
naturally endeared him to Mr. Hearst,
on whose Independence League ticket
he ran for Governor a year ago, poll
ing more votes than the regular Dem
ocratic candidate.
Temperance Candidate From Beer
Land.
The oldest Presidential candidate of all
those in the running this year Is Eugene
W. Chafln, the Prohibition nominee. Two
days before election he will celebrate his
56th birthday. This reformer's career
gives support to the, theory that hobby is
a reaction against environment, for Wis
consin, in addition to being the great beer
state, is also now famous for having giv
en the temperance candidate to the Union.
He first saw the daylight there, in the
town of Bast Troy, and after finishing at
the public schools was graduated from
the law department of the State Uni
versity. Moving to Waukesha, he prac
ticed law there for 24 years, all the while
speaking at temperance meetings, plead
Ing with the German element to turn
down their steins and organize temper
ance societies among the cltlxens in sen
eral throughout the beer belt and else
where. He was also an active spirit in
the Good Templars, a temperance brother
hood, and its state society made him Its
grand chief 22 years ago. Four years be
fore that the Prohibitionists of his dis
trict nominated him for Congress, again
for Attorney-General In 1886. and for Gov
ernor in 1900. In 1902, a year after his re
moval to Chicago to become superintend
ent of the Washington Home, ho received
another Congressional nomination from
the Prohibitionists of his new district
there, and In the year of the Roosevelt
Parker campaign he ran on the "dry'
ticket for Attorney-General of Illinois.
In which state he was the same year
elected grand chief of the Good Templars,
the same office that he had held in Wis
consin. While nearly his entire life has
been devoted to pounding away at tem
perance, hammer and tong3, he has given
some time to side enterprises, as, for ex
ample, the publication of what he calls
his "Presidential-Cabinet History Cards";
also a book, "Lives of the Presidents."
Rescued to Become Rescuer.
This nominee has had a strenuous time
since he came into the National lime
light this Summer. August 8. while swim
ming in the Y. M. C. A. pool at Mr.
Bryan's home city. Lincoln, Neb., he nar
nowly escaped drowning, and was res
cued by three young men. Five days
later while a certain element of Spring
field 'ill., were paving the way for Abra
ham' Lincoln's centenary, by lynching a
negro and shooting a few others within
the shadow of tho emancipator's tomb,
Mr Chafin happened to be addressing a
prohibition meeting near the scene. A
terrified neero, fleeing from his blood
thirsty pursuers, ran Into the meeting
place' and took refuge upon the very
stand upon which the candidate, well
along In his speech, was standing. The
mob rushed in after their would-be vic
tim and lt looked for a time as though
the temperance meeting would be turned
Into a shambles..
But If any of the uninitiated think that
a man must be any the less virile becauee
of being a temperance reformer he
should have seen Mr. Chafln upon this
sensational occasion. With his hand In his
hip pocket, where Prohibitionists are not
supposed to have anything concealed, the
nominee stepped In front of the onrush
ing mob and cried: "Stand back, gentle
men or I'll shoot every one of you who
touches this man. "The bluff worked.
The candidate's pocket was empty at
least of firearms and the mob retired
after the nominee had been struck In the
face with a brick.
A sample of this nominee's wit was
given after his escape from drowning in
the pool: "Wouldn't lt have been awful
had I come to my death by water? I
wouldn't have minded for myself, but lt
would have been tough on tho Prohibition
party to lose its head in that way!"
Washington, September 1. 1
water to discharge the waste products
of combustion and there is the bare pos
sibility that producer gas engines might
be adopted. The firm of Vlckcrs-Maxlm
has prepared designs for battleships
driven by producer gas, and it Is under
stood that It is ready to turn out a Dread
nought using gas forthwith If it finds
any power adventurous enough to try
such an experiment. The Admiralty,
however. Is not at all likely to Install
the gas engine in battleships until It has
been thoroughly tried in merchantmen
and smaller cruisers. But that lt will
finally come may be taken as certain.
The British battleship of 1910 may thus
be a vessel of 25,000 tone, mounting eight
or ten 86-ton guns, which will be so sr
ranged as to fire on either broadside.
She will resemble the new Brazilian ships
In carrying 20 4.7-inch of 6-inch guns for
defense against torpedo attack, and will
thus be exempt from the most serious
falling of the original Dreadnought the
entire absence of a medium battery.
Aa Old Home Day Reverie.
New York Sun.
How I'd like to be there, though
(Five and thrae and two are ten)
Wonder If it looks ths same
Nowadays as lt did then.
I can sea them, plain as day
(Thirteen, eighteen, twsnty-four)
The old farm house, and the barn
With ths sunlight on the floor.
Just beyond, the meadow green, ',
And the woodland, dark and cool.
With the river running through.
And the sandy swimming pool.
Forty years since I left home!
Don't seem possible to me
It can be so long ago
(Thirty-seven, carry three).
Recollect the husking bees.
And the dancing: "All hands Tound"?
Night the district schoolhouse burned?
Day Skip French was nearly drowned?
Wonder what's become of Jim,
Jack and Kate and Lulu Fenn?
(Strange theae figures don't come right!)
6'poae she ever married Ben?
Berrying on the Summer hills.
Fishing when the day was bad.
Skating those long Winter nights
Ah, the merry times we had! .
How I'd Ilka te be there now.
Walking down the village street:
(Seventeen, nineteen, twenty-nve.
Oh, confound this balance sheet!)