THE SUNDAY OltEGOXTAX, PORTLAND, FEBRUARY '16. 1908.
0
TitTwi ftteiftiii rfiperitt"
BY JIM NASI I'M.
BEFORE s"l"'S any further it may
le will to advise the reader that
this may or may not be a humor
ous sfory. It all depends upon the point
of view. I myself would call it a com
pound double-jointed production, posses
sing at once the necessary internal ma
chinery, cast of characters and scenic ac
cessories for a farce comedy, a trageuy,
a musical extravaganza, a tear-stained
melodrama, a vaudeville skit and a three
ringed circus. It may be all or any one
of these, according to the pitch at which
the heart strings of the reader are
tuned. As to my own view Jn the mat
V I am unable to go into definite de
tails, owing to the fact that this copy or
its reproduction may fall into, the hands
of my wife and cause serious complica-
tions.
I admit that every production should
bo advertised in advance in its true vein,
and that It isn't altogether the proper
thing to stack a person up against any
sort of a production without letting him
know whether he is going to wade
through tears or smiles or just a patent
medicine ad. But I am not going to take
any chances by classifying this little ef
fusion and then have some big husky
fellow. Who has outgrown my class en
tirely and couldn't make my weight if
he cut off both legs, come into the of
fice and call me a liar. And I am not
going to take any chances o internal
dissensions at my own fireside either. Not
by a long shot.
I would, therefore, advise- readers not
to open up their tear ducts or their foun
tain of risibilities too early in the game,
as they may be disappointed later on to
find that they have mistaken the true
class of the production, and the author's
object would be defeated. It is terribly
discouraging to a struggling author, and
apt to blast his future prospects, to have
his readers weeping with an exceeding
irrcat weep when they ought to be split
ting their sides with mirth, and vice
versa, whatever that is. I would also
suggest that male readers endeavor to
restrain their mirth while reading this in
the presence of their wives, if they have
ono or more, as it may result in a frac
tured rib or a dislocated eyebrow.
As an excuse for consider. ng myself
competent to discu.ss this much-mooted
question, I wish to offer that I have
lived on both sides of the fence and
kept my eve peeled, and' should there
fore know something about what Is doing
In the yard and out in the alley. Now. if
I had been married all my life and 'never
l)cen single, it would be different. I
would never have written this, and the
road to matrimony would have been
minus a very important sign post. Be
sides, this being' leap year, some note of
warning should be sent out and a cloak
or protection, as it were, thrown about
the shoulders of the marriageable young
men of the country In view of the added
dangers from ambitious females. As I
am getting space rates for this truck,
and it may mean a new Winter bonnet at
the mark-down sales for my wife to
wear through the Summer. I feel that
she will forgive me for laying bare the
family skeleton and scraping off the pol
ish which we have always worn publicly
on our connubial bliss.
But. anyways, I would gladly, yes,
even hilariously, brave the dangers of
spontaneous combustion In my own
household in the Interest of my fellow
man. I am very self-sacrificing In this
way. With Klla Wheeler Wilcox, Laura
Jean Lihbey, Dorothy Dix, Lydia Pink
ham and all the rest of the feminine
geniuses championing the cause of
woman and spreading before the world
the Inequality fit man, we men need a
Preferential Plan Choosing Candidates
How tljc System Could Be Applied to Primary Elections to Eliminate a Minority Choice.
BT H. DENLTXGER.
IT HAS been demonstrated In elec
tions held under the direct primary
law, where numerous candidates are
seeking the same nomination, that the
successful candidate Is as likely as not
to be the most generally unpopular
choice that could be made. It only
takes a plurality to nominate and a
plurality may be far less than a ma
jortty. In Seattle today there are nino
candidates for Mayor at the Repub
lican primaries. There are something
like 14.000 Republican voters and it
Is said that It wilt take but 3000 to
nominate. It is, then, possible for 3000
voters at the Republican primaries, led
tinder some special interest (as the
gambling Interest for Instance) to
nominate the candidate for the whole
party. Then, if at election time tlo
party is loyal to its nomination, and
he Is able to secure a plurality at the
general election '(with four parties In
the field) we might witness the elec
tion of a Mayor who would bo the real
choice of not more than 15 per cent
of tho voters of the city.
It certainly looks as if there was
something radically wrong about such
a method of conducting elections, and
It Is small wonder that large numbers
refuse to support the nominations.
But the convention system is no bet
ter. The history of the Republican
party in this State shows this. A con
vention is necessarily controlled by a
small body of voters, too. Nominations
from a convention will generally be
controlled by a machine or boss, and
many aspiring candidates are shut out.
While under the present system, it is
possiblo for a small minority to nom
inate a generally undesirable candi
date, under the. convention system a
political boss or machine would do the
same thing, and the resulting "bolt"
and dissatisfaction would be just as
apparent as it Is now. A notable ex
ample of the way this works may be
recalled In the nomination of Thomas
Tongue for Congress in the Second district-
of this State some years ago.
Many Republicans refused to support
hiin absolutely and stayed at home,
with the result that he was elected by
only 50 plurality, with two other
strong candidates in the field. He was
the real choice of probably not more
than 20 per cent of the voters.
The primary law as It now stands
may cause some breaking in party
ranks, but is certainly more satisfac
tory than the old convention system,
because it takes it out of the, power
of a convention machine or boss to
control nominations. In other words,
the nominations now come from a
wider area than from the old conven
tion system, and to that extent It is
a decided improvement.
The obvious remedy to prevent
minority nominations and t"he conse
auent lll-foeltng and factions in polit
ical parties. Is to widen the area of in
dorsement which a candidate must re
ceive from his party before he can be
nominated. Nothing less than an ac
tual majority indorsement should be
required. But hov is It possible to st
cure a majority indorsement for any
candidate, where so many are running
for the same office, thus splitting up
the vote?
Were it possible for us to conceive
of all the voters of a party assembling
together at ono time and place to
champion. For ages songs and poems
have been written in praise of "Moth
er," "The Girl You Love" and every
thing conceivable in the feminine form,
but every, time anything Is written
about Father it is somelike like
"Everybody Works but Father," "Fath
er, Dear Father, Come Home With Me
Now," or some thing to show that
Father Is a booze holster and a gam
bler, neglecting his starving children
and mistreating his patient and loving
wife. No lyrics or touching apostrophes
are written about Father till after he
dies, and then nobody believes them.
Let. us get together, men, and stand up
for our rights. We, too. must have our
champions. Literary champions, yes,
but what we need most Is a champion
like John L. Sullivan was. A champion
who can teach us how to duck a swing
CLOma-TRLL.
from a stove lid and counter with a
majolica jardiniere.
Jf mothers only knew -how the con
fiding and trustful natures of their sons
are being imposed upon by remorseless
and stronger-minded females, if they
only fully realized that many of these
tenderly reared sons leave their mater
nal protectorate and the pie and cake
supplied by a loving father to go out
Into the world and cleave to a woman
who, after she has won his confidence,
absolutely refuses to support him and
causes him to' weep out his young life
In a home of want and neglect at a
time when washwomen and laundry
hands are in such great demand, and
there Is no excuse for- it. If mothers
only realized this I'm sure we would
have their able assistance In this grand
movement for the emancipation of man.
It Isn't given to every man thrown
upon his own resources thus to become
a newspaper humorist and amass un
told wealth. Some are compelled to eke
out a mere livelihood as trust mag
n ales and be assailed In scathing tones
make nominations, successive ballot
ings might then be taken upon the can
didates for each office, and by throw
ing out the candidates receiving the
lowest number of votes after each bal
loting, a majority nomination' for some
onoof them might at length be ob
tained. But such a method of securing
majority nominations is neither prac
tical nor necessary. The same result
can be brought about under our di-r
rect primary system as now used, but
the law must be modified so that the
voter can select from among all can
didates listed on the ballot for a given
office, not only his first choice, but
also his second and third, or additional
choices. That is to say: -Suppose A,
B. C and D are c andidates for the
United States Senate. John Smith goes
to the primaries and finds their names
duly listed on the . ballot His first
preference is B; his second preference,
A; while D is a candidate he has no
use for and would not vote for under
any circumstances. His ballot nom
ination of a United States Senator will
then appear about thus:
Importation of Laborers From Asia
Oregon Wants No Japanese and Chinese for AVork in Orchards or Elsewhere.
BT K. P. CARTER.
1HAVE just finished reading an article
in The Orcgonian from Mr. Lowns
dale, headed, "Asiatics as Labor
ers; Necessary for Farm and Fruit In
dustry." A few days ago I had the pleasure of
attending a meeting of the Horticultural
Society at Oregon City, at which Mr.
Lownsdale gave us a very Interesting
and instructive talk on horticultural subjects,-
and I cannot help regretting that
he has seen fit to leave that subject, on
wjiich he is so well qualified to speak,
to take up the subject of Chinese and
Japanese immigration, on which he Is
not qualified to speak.
But as Mr. Lownsdale so emphatically
declares in regard to cutting down the
old orchards, "the time for discussing
the desirability of such Immigration has
long since passed by." The question has
been argued from every point 6f view,
and the people of this whole Pacific
Coast have decided that such Immigra
tion is very undesirable.
But Mr. Lownsdale makes the asser
tion that the farmers as a class desire
Asiatic cheap labor.
I think if Mr. Lownsdale had put that
question to a vote at the Oregon City
meeting, or at any of his meetings,
among the small farmers, he will be
very quickly undeceived.
He also assumes that the farmers are
all opposed to labor unions. Here, again,
I think he is mistaken. The farmer is
opposed to the extremes to which labor
unions sometimes go. but he recognizes
the right of the laboring man to organ
ize for his protection just the same as
the fruitman has the right to organize
for his protection and to enhance the
value of the fruit .which the laboring
man must buy.
Mr. Lownsdale says "We who have put
our whole fortune into the apple busi
ness are not going to see that fortune
destroyed by the neglect of tho careless
farmer to clean up his trees."
Wedded Bliss Against Single Blessedness
by the press and politicians of the land,
and it Is upon this poorer and weaker
class of men that the domination . (I
didn't say damnation) of woman falls
the hardest." Think of how hard It must
be for some of these young men who
are sent to college by loving parents
and educated for an ornament to lend
that chaste appearance to the parlor
that a May Howard poster would, to be
suddenly placed in a position where
he has. to drift out into the cold, cruel
world and rustle up provender and silk
petticoats for a woman who refuses to
BEAST1.
take in. washing. I,et us stand togeth
er, men, and crush this terrible foe
that Is blighting our young lives.
It Is not to the man of a family, the
breadwinner, who forks over his hard
earned dough in exchange for the hard
to digest dough" that his .wife turns
out. It is not to him that I send out
these clarion notes of warning and ap
peal as much as to the man of single
blessedness who has known not the
pleasures of arising in the stilly night
to tie a knot In a colicy infant and
getting his feet tangled In a corset,
with outgrowing steels, who- does not
know the delights of combing his thin
locks in the mornLng with a brush full
of long silken hairs, which tickle your
face and become entwined around your
eye teeth, the man who has never ex
perienced the delightful surprise of
creeping upstairs on all fours at 2 A.
M. and bumping into an angelic form
in negligee and kid curlers on the top
landing, who jiu jitsu's him into a tan
gled mass under the clothes tree and
gouges out his eyes with a curling Iron.
FOR UNITED STATES SENATOR.
Choice. Names.
lst2d;3d
I A- IA
IB
Showing his choice of these candi
dates in succession, the columns at the
left indicating first, second and third
choice. .
All other voters at the primaries will ex
press their preference in the same way.
When it comes to making the count the
first choice preferences are added to
gether from all the ballots and if any
candidate. has received a majority on this
count, he will be elected. If. however,
the vote Is scattered among the candi
dates so that none receive a first choice
majority, then the candidates who have
received the low number of votes on the
first choice are out of the race and the
ballots which have been cast for them as
first choice are "counted over again on
their second choice. The'se totals are
then added to the first choice votes of
candidates who have not been cast out.
If any have voted as their second choice
Now right here is the nub to the whole
.situation. Mr. Lownsdale has an orchard
of something over 300 acres and must
employ a large amount of labor to care
for that orchard, thereby making his liv
ing and large profits on his investments
out of other men's labor; therefore, being
unwilling to pay the price of labor among
the people of his own state, he cries for
Asiatic cheap labor.
Another man has his whole fortune in
vested in an orchard of five or ten acres
and by his own labor and his family
makes a good living out of his little
farm. According to Mr. Lownsdale him
self, it can easily be done.
Now which is of tile most benefit to
Iys country? The man of ten acres, doing
his own work, or Mr. Lownsdale with a
horde of Asiatic cheap labor doing his
work, while Mr. Lownsdale puts in his
time organizing the men engaged in his
business to increase the value of his
apples, which the laborer must buy or go
without, and I suppose in the intervals
put in the rest of his time talking for a
protective tariff to protect the poor
laboring man.
What an incongruity, a protective tariff
to protect the laboring man and Asiatic
cheap labor!
Let us carry the analogy a little
farther. The labor union man has his
whole fortune invested in his kit of car
penter tools or his pick and shovel and
his brawny arms, and like Mr. Lowns
dale, declines to allow his fortune to be
Jeopardized by the importation of Asiatic
cheap labor, and Insists upon the right
to organize his business for his protection,
just the same as Mr. Lownsdale does his.
I think I can see the look of surprise
upon the handsome face of Mr. Lowns
dale at the idea of the poor devil with
nothing but his horny hands, being
placed on the same level with the same
right to protection of liis rights as Mr.
Lownsdale with his 300 acres of apple
orchard worth many -thousands of dollars.
But I thank God that the man with
nothing but his hands and the farmer
with only his little farm of five or ten
acres has Just as much right to pro
y Yea It is the young man who is star- 1
ing the great future in the face' and
wots not what la in store for him to
whoni I appeal. The poor, misguided
youth, who thinks that ithe garden of
love is a peach- orchard: instead of a
quince patch. Would that I had a pen
of fire with which to write in words of
living light the ignominy and degrada
tion, and a lot of other things that I
can't think of just now, that Is visited
upon my sex.
In this glad leap year the handsome
young men of the community take extra
precautions for their self protection.
Young men between the ages of 16 .and
60 should never go out alone and un
armed, and when a person of the oppo
site sex approaches the dead line In their
conversation they should aim to plant
their bullet between the sixth and sev
enth rib on the .port side. Handsome
and graceful young men like myself are
in hourly danger. I have often wistied
that I ha-d been born with less physical
beauty, and am frequently tempted to
take a curry comb or an old rasp and
disfigure my features. But my naturally
attractive nature and grace of manner
would still remain, so that it would
probably be useless .to do this.
The young man of today does not suf
ficiently appreciate the dangers of his
physical beauty. In place of this, from
the time he glides into his first pair of
long troupers he beats a- trail to the
drug store to buy pimple lotions and hair
bleach, and like the foolish moth,, goes
around looking for a flame to fly" Into
and get his wings burnt. These young
men need education along the proper
lines, and were it - not for the over
powering influence of my wife I would
throw myself -into the breach and go out
into the world to take up the. burden.
I would give these unsophisticated
young men some inside facts concerning
wedded bliss. I would tear the cloak
of romance from the matrimonial" ques
tion, and leave the poor shivering form
bared to the eyed of the world, that all
might see the- -pad a and plumpers with
which It makes itself appear attractive.
Not .that I think this educational course
would decrease the number of matri
monial ventures not by a -long shot. But
I would prepare the young man for the
future so that he would be able to cope
with the exigencies of the case when
they arose. I would show him that
wedded bliss Is not a game of solitaire,
and that when any player Insists on
holding all the cards and taking all the
tricks it puts the game on the bum.
Yes slrree. I would throw the broad
light of publicity Into wedded bliss and
show the youth of our great country
what they are up against. Not in the
hope of discouraging them from malting
the venture, but so that they would
know what to expect and not be caught
out of form. I would teach them to ap
preciate the advantage and great help
that It is when you are writing literary
masterpieces and gems of thought that
are destined to sot the world agog and
be handed down to posterity as ex
amples of the work of the great mas
ters of literature, to have an Infant
prodigy playing the piano on the keys- of
your typewriter, which you don't hap
pen to be using just at the time, and
singing "Won't You Come Over to My
House," while another plays horsey on
the bank of your neck and uses the only
tuft of hair left Intact on your shining
dome for a bridle, and your, wife sits
in a willow rocker and reads you ex
for a candidate who has been cast out
as a, low man. their third choice is then
counted. This process of successively
eliminating the low candidates and count
ing their ballots over again in the second
or succeeding choice and adding these
results to the totals of the remaining
candidates, may be repe'ated until some
one has received a majority indorsement
of all the voters voting at the primaries.
By this means the most generally popular
candidate -will always be nominated. It
would absolutely shut out minority rule.
No longer would it be possible for some
undesirable candidate to "force his nomi
nation on a party. This is so for the
reason that such a candidate, although he
might have a strong personal following
to give him a large first choice indorse
ment, would never be able to secure from
the voters enough general Indorsement to
give him the majority necessary for the
nomination.
Such an amendment to the direct pri
mary law as is here outlined will do more
to stoi factional strife and bring ordet
out of chaos n our political parties than
any other measure that could be adopted,
and It is a plan which ought to commend
itself to the general voters when once un
derstood, because of its simplicity. Tnis
plan of voting has often been used in th
election of officers to big conventions anc
has been found to work with entire satis
faction. tection as Mr. Lownsdale with his 300,
but he don't always get It.
If Mr. Lownsdale cannot manage his
three hundred acres without "Asiatic"
cheap labor, let him divide it up into
thirty or forty small orchards and sell
them to some good, Industrious Ameri
can citizens, and then, Instead of one
man bossing a whole gang of Asiatic
cheap laborers, we will have thirty or
forty industrious citizens rearing fami
lies, paying taxes, making schools and
roads, and benefiting the country a
hundred times more than Mr. Lowns
dale. Mr. Lownsdale says Asiatic labor will
not compete with white labor. Let him
tell that to the hundreds of men who
have been displaced on our railroads,
among market gardeners. In almost
every industry, by Chinese and Jap
anese. What is that colony of Japanese who
have rented 1000 acres of land on Pu
get Sound going to do with It?
Now, If Mr. Lownsdale wants to find
out the temper of the people of Oregon,
let him run for some State office and
advocate the free Importation of Asi
atic cheap labor. But, says Mr.
Lownsdale, I only advocate a re
stricted immigration. I suppose that
means a restriction imposed by such
men as Mr. Lownsdale, who want to
hire the cheap labor, which sounds
about like a revision of the tariff by
the friends of the tariff.
But possibly, and I think from the
reading of his letter probably Mr.
Lownsdale will think that the Idea of
putting opinions and interests of the
poor fellow with nothing but his
hands against that or the man with
three hundred acres of apple "orchard
is preposterous. (
Well, perhaps It is. but such Is the
spirit of our institutions, and thanks
to. President Roosevelt, we are liable to
get a little nearer to that condition in
fact than ever before, even If we do
have to 'approach It through the Influ
ence of the much-maligned dema
gogue Gladstone, Or.
tracts from the Thaw trial. I would
teach these inexperienced youths to
enjoy the comforts of a home,
and to know that "it isn't all of life to
have lived." It is sometimes much bet
ter to have died. I would teach them
to enjoy the various little duties which
VEUUVHAT DOYOtf
THINK OFTHlSsDEARt
COLUMHV)
AfiBEAT-HELP
TOITINfj-UTERAK
HArTERPlELCEc)-
GEM? OF'THOUGHT-
your wife finds for you to do about the
house after you get homo from your
day of pleasure wrestling with the busi
ness world and to appreciate her in
genuity In this respect Wedded bliss
all depends upon the way you look at
the different little details connected with
married life. - The man with a keen
sense of the humorous 'will extract a
great deal of pleasure from a matrimon
ial venture.
If your wife deems It necessary to
have you move the children's bed from
the second floor to the mansard play
room every morning, and move it back
v
Is All Mankind the Child
3Iodern-Day Inquiry Into I'wssession of "Land Which the lord,
BT J. L. JONES.
HONOR thy father and thy mother
that thy days may be long in the
land which the Lord, thy God,
glveth thee." This means .to get in har
mony with the laws of God and nature.
God is father; nature is mother. The
religion of God is the higher law, the
absolute truth, and relates to the immor
tals. The religion of nature has to do
with the development of the mortal race.
It includes the laws of health and re
production. The reader must note especially the
distinction between mortals and Im
mortals for this is the key to many ap
parent contentions that confuse the Bible
student. Mortals are those who are sub
ject to death. Immortals are those, who
have overcome death. These have not
yet made their appearance on the stage.
All people are in a limited sense the
children of God and as such have certain
Inalienable rights. But in another and
more literal sense they are the children
of the devil. They are under the do
minion of the devil as long as they are
in the mortal state. God is the god of
the living, which means the immortals.
The devil is the ruler of the dead. Mortal
men are dead already. The Immortals,
those who have attained to absolute life,
are- the only actual children of Gdd. They
are gods in full commission.
But even the children of the devil have
rights. They have the right of progress,
to -turn from their errors and iniquities
and ascend in the scale of being. Christ
spoke to the Immortals as the children
of light and the children of the king
dom, while the mortals are called the
children of this world, the children of
darkness and the children of the devil.
Like the black slaves these have the
right to escape from their bondage, to
run away from their masters, to gain
their freedom.
When the devil led Jesus up to the
top of a high mountain and showed him
all the kingdoms of the world and offered
to give them to him under certain con
ditions, he was able to make good his
promise. The deeds were there to show.
Tiberius (tho brood of the Tiber) was
then Emperor of Rome and ruler of the
whole known world. Even the devil him
self was shamed of this gloomy mon
ster and wanted a more desirable per
son for the office.
Nothing strengthens the supremacy of
the devil so effectually as to secure a
prudent and respectable person to gov
ern his dominions under forma of re
ligion and law. This is the surest and
safest way to fool the people. The devil
understands politics perfectly.
He offered Jesus the highest gift in
his power, except one. He did not vol
unteer to step down and out and sur
render the kingdoms to their rightful
owner and swear allegiance to him.
He wanted Jesus to take office -under
him. to take a subordinate position. But
Jesus could not consider' such a propo
sition. He was the rightful king. He was
Dominus, . Iiiord, Master. He intended to
win back the kingdom for himself in
his own way. ' The climax of the, tragedy
Is yet to come.
The devil has not yet been dethroned
nor deposed from the rulership of the
world. The universal prayer, "Thy King
dom come" is yet unanswered. We are
still under the dominion of his Satanic
Majesty and the governments of the
world are still the agencies for accom
plishing his purposes and keeping the
again every -evening, you should not
become angry and kick her pet lap
dog down the staircase, but you should
go about the duty humming a littla
love song and extract what pleasure
you can from the performance. If she
feels inclined to let off a little surplus
steam and exercise her vocal organs,
telling you what a beast you are for
going out to the club and leaving her
alone in the house with only six chil
dren, three servants, four pomerantan
dogs and a canary for company, your
part In the wedded bliss game is to en-
joy the performance and appreciate
her efforts. And if she winds up by
kicking yoTt under the bed and stand
ing on your wishbone while she chops
large, irregular notches in your com
plexion with a'bread knife, think only
of the pleasure it must afford her and
laugh heartily at the picture you must
have presented as you turned three
complete revolutions in the air and
loopod-the-loop around the bedpost.
When you hand over your pay en
velope on pay day, think of the pleas
ure and comforts you are getting in
return for it. Think of how much bet
people in bondage, spiritual and physical.
This may seem a strange and blas
phemous doctrine to proclaim, but a can
did survey of the facts ought to con
vince the most skeptical that it is true
and that it would be Indeed blasphemy
to make God responsible for the disorder
and injustice that prevail in- the world.
The daily papers are supposed to
give a fairly accurate picture of the
life of the people. They present a
record of murders, robberies, riots,
wrecks, suicides. scandals; sales,
slaughters and sacrifices. Are these
the benedictions of God, or are they the
works of the wicked one?
The old and true evangelical doctrine
was that the sinner must first be con
vinced or convicted of sin before he
could truly repent. He must become
thoroughly disgusted -with his former
state and deeply ashamed of himself.
So long as people keep glorying in
their shame and boasting of their sin,
there Is no symptom of repentance.
President Roosevelt Is the represen
tative of a large class of people who
are beginning to realize the difficulty
of the situation that confronts the peo
ple of this country and of the world.
Most of these people still believe that
what we need to remedy the evils, the
existence- of which can no longer be
denied, is the strict enforcement of the
laws. This .is right, but what laws
are we to enforce? Will the laws of
capitalism cure the evils they have
created? Will the bark of the dog cure
his bite?
In fact, it is through the enforcement
of the laws of the system that the
present state of disorder has been de
veloped. The laws of capitalism are
in conflict with the laws of God and
the rights of humanity. Will capital
ism abolish itself? Will the devil re
pent and resign and step down and
out?
The word iniquity means almost the
same as inequality (in, not; equus,
equal). The-glaring inequality . in the
distribution of wealth, which is com
ing to be recognized as the main fac
tor in the production of crime, is due
to iniquitous laws. These laws must
be abolished in order to eliminate their
effects.
We must get back to -first principles,
to the true law of the land as Indi
cated in the words, "the land which the
Lord thy God giveth thee." The land
Is the gift of God, the patrimony, the
inheritance, the estate of all mankind.
Gifts must not be sold nor made mer
chandise, of. The gifts of God are
priceless. The right to this inheritance
Is inalienable. That means that it is a
fraud to rob anyone of his interest in
the gifts of God by any kind of legal
sale, barter or trade, and all laws that
permit this are invalid and illegal in
the light of the higher law, which Is
the law of God.
The Government cannot convey a valid
title to land because it never had any to
convey. The only valid title is that based
on righteousness, which is right use. The
landlord who collects rents does not
make right use of the land. He does not
use it at all. He merely taxes those who
do use it.
No landlord has a title to land from
God except the one who actually resides
on and personally uses the land. Land
lords get their title from governments,
governments get theirs from the devil.
They win their possessions by war. Their
titles are written in blood. There Is no
divine government on earth. All govern
ter it is to get beat up at homo and
keep the pleasure all in the family, in
stead of going out to the booze joints
and letting some total stranger enjoy
the swatfest. These little economics
in the entertainment line are one of
the best features connected with home
life. You will find, too, that It is pleas
ant to have someone to make up your
mind for you on all occasions. Here
tofore you have always had to attend
to this duty yourself, and it is an aw
ful responsibility. Wives are very self
sacrificing in this respect, and unhesi
tatingly relieve their husbands of the
arduous duty of making up their own
minds. Many women will make up
their husband's minds more cheerfully
than they make up the beds.
Too many women do not appreciate
the fact ' that what my sex wants is
love and affection, and consequently
this job is too' often turned over to the
hired girl. This puts the wedded blifs
game on the bum. Any wife who turns
this part of her family duties over to
the hired girl should be prosecuted,
as It puts her husband in a bad light
before the world during the divorce
proceedings. It wouldn't be so bad if
the wives who do this didn't usually
Insist on hiring the ugliest-looking
slob of a girl who presents herself for
the Job. and then it is an awful handi
cap, too. for a husband to be compelled
to learn tle ropes of making love in
Polish or Afghanistan, or some other
foreign lingo, and it is apt to embar
rass him somewhat to have his wife
come in to the kitchen and witness
his first poor, weak efforts, when he
is really doing the best he knows how.
But, there's no two ways, about It, a
man never knows what true happiness
is until he gets married then It is too
late. The young man who Is living in
single blessedness has all the respon
sibility of his own mistakes to shoul
der, lie Is denied the pleasure of hav
ing a wife to blame his mistakes on.
and ' hasn't even the satisfaction of
throwing the parlor ornaments at the
children when the marketgoes against
him. He is placed at a "disadvantage
by having to form his own planR, in
stead of having an advisory board
composed of his wife's relatives to go
into executive session and map out the
course which he is to steer. Looking
backward now, through the vista of
the years to the time when I worked
In single harness, I can't see how I
ever got along at all without the as
sistance of this homo cabinet and strategy
board. It does seem to mc that a man's
future is bound to go to the eternal bow
wows, without their able assistance and
advice.
And the lonely existence of single'
blessedness is apt to pall on the man '
who pines for social activity. While be Is
compelled to sit in the narrow confines
of a two by four room with a few cronies
and a scuttle of suds and smoke the pipe
of peace, while he spits tobacco juice
over the surrounding bric-a-brac in com
parative comfort and ease, the married J
man can be enjoying the company, of -not i
only his wife, but of her mother and j
father and all her maiden aunts, who j
issue a declaration of war without the
formality of an executive session every I
time he lights his pipe in the house.1
This serves to prevent ennui, whatever
that is.
No,, fellows, no more single blessedness
for mine. I am of naturally active turn '
of . mind,- and I prefer the excitement and i
turmoil of wedded bliss. I prefer to spend '
the evenings standing over my wife with
a baseball bat while she spikes an eight
by ton patch on the quarterdeck of my
office trousers, to roaming the world
alone and unattended, with no excite
ment to while away the weary hours.
of the Devil?
Thy God, Givcth Thee.''
ments exist by usurpation, in defiance of
devine law, and perpetuate their existence
by violation and abrogation of every
commandment in the decalogue.
But still God is in a certain sense re
sponsible for governments, for he makes
darknoss and creates evil. As I stated
in the opening paragraphs, the mortal
man Is actually the child of the devil,
but potentially the child of God. While
In the mortal state he is under the power
of death and hell and his governments
and churches and all the. works of his
hands are vanity. ,
But potentially he is a child of God.
This word potential is one of the most
wonderful words In the language. We
come across it first in the grammar as
the name of a mood, but we do not un
derstand it. All the elements of humon
progress are involved in it.
It means endowed with power or pos
sibility. This endowment is given on cer
tain conditions. The gift of God is
eternal life. This gift is not to all, but
to those who fulfill the requirements,
those who honor their father and their
mother, who keep the land holy. When
Jesus was asked what were the require
ments, he said "Keep the Command
ments." Now truth is certainlj' more strange
and incredible than any fiction, if It is
a fact that these ten hackneyed, de
spised, and misunderstood old command
ments contain the key to deliverance., not
only from all the evils of mortal existence
and disorders of mortal society, but from
mortality itself. It Is not through the
labors of legislators or congressmen that
the world is going to be redeemed. In
fact when we consider the lives they lead
in Washington and elsewhere, it would
be idle to expect relief through their
interposition.
But why mix religion with polities?
What has religion to do with politics, or
God -with government? Why surely noth
ing with the khid of polities that prevail
and the kind of government we get. This
is the point I have been trying to make.
Possibly the reader may be able to fol
low the argument. If he admits that
there is no observable relation between
these things then this point is considered
carried and becomes a step to another
position.
Corvallis, Or.
Inscrutable.
Chicago News.
We know well enough why the hen crossed
the road.
But why Is the fleet going round?
We know how tho seed warts adhere to
the toad.
But why Is the fleet going round?
We know- why the leopard wears spots on
his hide.
We know how the mooa hciags the treacher
ous tide.
We know why old shoes are burled after
a bride
, But why Is that fleet going round?
We know why the hop-vine twines t'other-eri-to.
But why Is that fleet going round ?
We know why the sky Is a beautirtil blue.
But why Is that fleet going round?
We know Just the age or that troublesome
Ann. 1
We know how the chicken tribe truly began
tWlth egg first or hen first;, but where Im
th man
Can tell why the fleet's going round?
Dip deep In the well at whose bottom Ilea
truth
And tell why the fleet's going round.
Solve every problem of age and of youth,
Brit tell why the fleet's going round.
I don't care a hoot what Diogenes saw
While lugging his Lantern around In his
claw -Yet
I've seralched my poor head till It's
bleeding and raw.
But can't tell why Ae fleet's going round!