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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 10, 1907)
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, NOVEMBER 10, 1907.
flummoxed down and out. As far as
studying the Hawaiian language goes,
I'm a kwitter!. .
Oh. lovely island world! Where else
in the universe Is there a spot made
up wholly of beauty and peace? Where
man and even woman can cease wor
rying about stocks, franchises, new
bonnets, real estate, society. Insurance,
politics, and all the rest that go to
make up the pandemonium of exist
ence, and settle down in the shade of a
palm tree, royal, cocoa, wine, rabbage,
screw, fan or native he has a choice
of seven unbutton his shirt-collar and
smoke the pipe of forgetfulness.
Oh. happy Hawaii! that hath no poi
sonous reptiles, no noxious plants, no
'Tls not I that can do you justice!
Let my friend Charley Stoddard, with
his prose poem paragraphs and his
mellifluous periods do the Job for me.
When he sits down with his pen dipped
in honey, and his mouth full of guava
jelly, to reel off a few reams of ecstatic
English in praise of his beloved islands,
he makes the rest of us feel like 30
cents. And when he declares that he
has traveled the wide world over, but
never, never has he seen a spot to equal
this why, what can we do but say,
"Same here, old man!" (Copyright,
1907, by J. B. Bowles.)
(To be Continued.)
I ONE EAST SIDE HOME f ft
f.6. vtr i rt. -m i t w jt- '-d i5 I
IN MAKING PORTLAND
THE HOTEL CLERK
ON THE SOCIETY MAN
tit x' &m h x - r&r'"V&"
BY IRVINE, s. COBB.
iriMiiMi-nm nr nTm im n urinriii -r r ' " , n iwiTuri li tu iwir-Hniiiinr wn. 3
f i- - -
coHinod Bliown in tnia picture is
at the residence of Mrs. R. H. Miller,
1200 Denver avenue, and is a fair
Bumple of What can be done in Oregon
from land thnt has never been cultivated.
A year ago this place was a mass of brush
end fir trees, but by dint of hard work
and hard it was. for some roota were 10'
nd 20 feet underground the earth was
cleared and a pmall home built.
But the house looked bare and rough,
SMILING AROUND THE WORLD
The city nf Honolulu. looking from
the Imrhor, does not seem large, though
there is a population of 50,0i0. The
housps are so embowered in luiur'ant
follase it Is only occasionally that a
roof may be. seen peeping out.
As soon as the gang-plank was out
a friend welcomed us with the beauti
ful but rather embarrassing Hawaiian
custom of throwing long wreaths
about our necks. These are made of
carnations, camelias or jasmine, with
flossy green leaves. Women who
make them, sit along the streets in
Honolulu with baskets of flowers and
completed wreaths beside them, their
lingers busily engaged in weaving
others. So universal Is this custom of
wearing these flowery adornments that
every native one meets has neck and
hat decorated with a fresh. dewy
wreath. Time was. no doubt, when
these were all of their adorning, but
civilization has decreed a few addi
tions to such an airy, though, no doubt,
Our doubts as to the best method nf
seeing the sights were settled for us
hy our friend, who had an automobile
waiting for us on the dock. The driver
Hcsd Devil! Heap Devil!
. ,.- - -
and some plan must be made to hide its
ugliness, and after careful thought cos
mos was chosen. A trench was dug
along the edge of the porch and the
seeds planted the last of May, and now,
the fimt week of November, they hide the
porch completely and are a mass of white,
red and pink blossoms, some of which are
2'4 inches across. Standing ten feet high,
they are a beautiful sight, and as there
has been no frost, they are still growing.
BV MARSHALL P. W1LDEK.
"AND THE ANGEL OF THE
told us of his tirst trip in the machine
through the outlying country. He
came upon a Chinese coolie who had
never seen anything of the kind before,
and stood rooted with horror to the
road until the driver tooted the horn.
Then the Chinaman fled frantically to
the fence, over which he plunged.
shrieking, "Heap devil! heap devil!"
When the driver had finished telling us
of his first experience I told him of
mine not in Honolulu, but In the good
old Empire state, V. S. A. As I remem
ber it was a fine ride! The fine was a
hundred and fifty. I said to my chauf
feur (chauffeur is French for plumber)
"Let her go!" and he let her go. We
went so fast the milestones looked like
a cemetery! We simply flew through
tho air. When the car stopped short
I was still flying. I flew 80 feet
through the air, shot through a
church window, and lit in the middle
of the congregation. Just as the min
ister was saying: "And the angel of
the Lord descended!"
I was a fine-looking: angel, with a
pair of goggles, a linen duster and a
rubber tire 'round my head for a halo!
I explained to the astonished congre
gation that I had just "dropped into
Well, after working four days, with
eight-hour night shifts, we got the car
going; and all went well till I tried to
steer. I turned out for a cow, and
turned into a "dago" with a fruit stand.
There was a free delivery of fruit. It
was hard to tell which was the fruit
and which win th "dago." We stopped
long enough to remove a banana from
my eye (you have to keep your eye
peeled) and went on. Nothing happened
Mum inTirinim-- - - m m i
They have had no cultivation whatever
and have been sprinkled very little during
th Summer. '
Can any ther state show a picture like
this on November 1? Roses, chrysanthe
mums, cosmos, dozens of others, all in
blossom out in the yard. Oregon can't be
Here is also an example of making the
city beautiful. People going by Mrs. Mil
ler's home pause, stare and admire.
until we got in the midst of a crowded
thoroughfare, when the blamed thing
had the blind stageers: tried to climb an
electric light pole, and bit a policeman
in the middle of his beat! That cost
the city a copper, and me a pretty penny.
Since then, I've tried pretty nearly ev
ery kind of car. with results about the
same in the end I was a nervous wreck
and the car a total wreck. So. when a
friend of mine calls me up on the 'phone
and says he's got the automobile fever,"
and wants to know what he'd bet
ter get," I tell him to get over It.
Ap interesting phase of life in Honolulu
is the political speaker, who takes the
stump sometimes several stumps, in suc
cession at the noon hour. All Ha
walians take a keen interest in politics.
The speech I heard was in the Hawaiian
tongue, the only words I understood be
ing "beef trust"; this the speaker said
very plainly in English, there probably
being no equivalent in Hawaiian. As he
proceeded from stump to stump, his aud
ience waned perceptibly perhaps from a
native indolence of temperament which
could not cling, very long to one thing.
At any rate, "when he reached the last
stump his audience reminded me of what
Peter Dal ley said of an audience In a
New York theater where business was
poor. When asked how large the audi
ence was, "Pete" answered, "I could lick
all three of them!"
From politics to , Pali a marvelous
transition. This high cliff, garlanded
with the softest and most luxuriant ver
dure, overlooks a fertile valley where Is
spread, llk a carpet, every varying
shade of green that finally melts in
m .rTT "TITTT' trmSmwjT'
''What an effect how beautiful !' and
pass on, wondering now on earth they
ever did it. Maybe they go to their own
homes, where they have hundreds of feet
of ."pare ground, and sigh and think it la
no use trying to fix their house like that-
it's too expensive, too hard work.
If they would only count the cost more
accurately, would it pay? One package of
cosmos, mixed, o cents. Doea it pay? Can
you spare 5 cents toward making your city
the distance to the exquisite turquoise
and beryl tints of the sea, making an en
chanting panorama, of transcendant love
liness. - '
Pali was the scene of the historic 'bat
tle of the forces of Oahu, when they were
driven up into the mouiftains by the
army of King Kamehamein the Great,
who had come over from Hawaii to con
quer them. The Oahuans were pressed
back until they were finally driven over
the edge of the Pali, a living cataract of
2S00 men. To stand upon the edge of this
cliff and conjure up a vision Of this his
toric event, which took place scarcely
107 years ago, must give even the least
impressionable a thrill.
I was next taken to the aquarium,
where the collection of-native fish is
something beyond the wildest Imagina
tion to picture, and quite baffles descrip
tion. Little fishes striped in bright plnk-and-whlte.
like sticks of ' peppermint
candy, jostle those that are of a silvery
and blue brocade, others of a dark color,
with spots of vivid red, and bridles of
golden yellow going about their heads
are In the next cage- to transparent fish
of a delicate pink or blue--or a family of
devil fish. There are fish of a beauti
ful sumber purple, and fish of white
with black horizontal stripes, looking like
a company of convicts from Sing Sing.
There are many many others, those with
trailing fringes, or floating wings; those
with eyes on little pivots that turn easily
in all directions like small, conning tow
ers; all odd pr unusual, seeming liVe
dream fishes, or the phantoms of a dis
ordered brain, rather than products of
I spent considerable time on the archi
tecture of the Hawaiian language, but
never got much above the ground floor;
but if I had stayed in the cellar. It would
have been Just the same, -for I could
make but one thnU? out of It, and that
was that the whole structure Is built
upon the letter K. They can't get along
without that K. They must stick It Into
For instance, if you want to make a
tour of the islands you take the little
steamer ' Kilanea that is to say, you
could take it, once upon a time; but they
saw fit to tire of the name, and changed
It to Kinau; then when they wanted
something more romantic and English,
they called It not Sea Bird, mind you! or
Ocean Spray, or Flying Scud but "Llke
Uke." Can't get along without the K.
So you sail around In little old "Like
like," and somewhere, or anywhere It
don't make any difference which, for it's
sure to begin with a K you make a land
ing, and lo! It la called Kalahui; just as
good a name as any port of entry, if you
don't mind komlng In through the kus
toms in that way. It's a breezy little
port, with a kourthouse and a klub good
fellows, too and a mercantile marine,
and a railway, and a wreck in the har
bor, and all of 'em belonging to Kalahui.
If you speak of the thriving plantations
that back the harbor, they'll be sure to
ask you if you've noticed the Kalo
patches? Kalo may be French for Kab
bages or karnatlons you don't give a
kontlnental, either way but you smile,
1 V vTK
beautiful? The work yes, that's a big
item but better be doing that and have
something for a reward than not plant
flowers. Beautify your home and you will
be doing something which will be a pleas
ure to yourself, to your neighbors, and
make the city proud of such citizens.
Mr. and Mrs. Miller told an Oregonian
reporter that they have set out over 200
rose bushes this year, and Invited him to.
call with the camera man next June and
eee the effect then.
an.d say. "Great! wouldn't mind having a
korner in Kalo some day!"
If you want to go up a mountain, of
course it must be Haleakala; it's only got
one K in it, by the way, but It's got the
'biggest krater at the top of it you ever
saw or heard of 20 miles In circumfer
ence, and 2000 feet deep. It's stone dead
entirely gone out of business; but in
my opinion that's an advantage of two-to-one
on any live crater. If you want to
go up another mountain, try Kilanea
It's only another K, and the, avenue that
leads out to it is a magnificent boule
vard set out on either side with bread
fruit trees, mangoes and alligator pears.
Kilanea Is the biggest thing In the live
crater business in the world a lake of
fire 1200 feet long and 500 wide, with a
surface measure of 12 acres. You hold
your breath and say your prayers; and,
when a gust of wind carries away the
blinding steam and' smoke, you look
down, down E00 feet into a veritable hell
fire lake, whose waves of flame rise and
fall In convulsive throes that shake the
very heart out of your body in other
words, the thing has fits to beat the
band, and you wish you hadn't come!
But you get all over It by the next day,
and If you want to calm your mind and
restore your nerves, you take a nice,
quiet stroll down Kukul place and kom
mune with nature.
Finally, if you've done anything you
oughtn't to, and get arrested and
taken to the lockup, you run up against
the biggest bunch of ks in the whole
business. The name of the "Jug" Is
That got me! I was kompletely ker-
Ye Stand Upon the Edge of Thla Cliff
Must Give a Thrill I
1 - -
THERE had been some confusion and
shouting in the side street flanking
the Hotel St. Reckless, and when
it was over and the Head Bell Boy came
back to his station he was considerably
"What's doing?" asked the Hotel Clerk.
"Streetcar run down an old party," said
the Head Bell Boy, "and "
"And a truly desperate and determined
mob Immediately formed, and with cries
of 'lynch him!' surged forward to hang
the motorman to the nearest lamp-post,"
added the Hotel Clerk.
"Sure that's the way it was," said the
puzzled Head Bell Boy; "but If you know
all about it already, wotcher askln' me
. "I was merely doping it out from the
past performances," said the Hotel Clerk.
"So the mob formed and yelled 'lynch
him;' and then when It seemed that no
human power could save the doomed
wretch from his fate, a policeman came
along and told everybody to beat It. And
then what happened?"
"Well, they beat It," admitted the
Head Bell Boy. "Only there was two
policemen, Instldder one. I tell yqu what,
Mr. McBean. things looked purty scary
there fur a little w'ile."
"They'll look scarier in the late editions
of the evening papers." said the Hotel
Clerk. "The desperate mob is always
good for half a column of adjectives, not
to mention several nouns, and one of
those headlines across the front page that
looks like a cabinet-maker built It. What
became of the venerable and estimable
citizen who was crushed to earth by the
Insatiate modern Juggernaut?"
"Meanin' the old kippered guy wot got
bifTered by the car, I s'pose." answered
the Head Bell Boy. "Oh, they carried
him Into the drugstore acrost the street,
and they was pourin' a lot of things down
him and several of 'em was.tearln.' off
his clothes to' see where he was killed
when he set up and cussed 'em somethln'
scandalous. It seemed like he was
crossin' the tracks with a bun on and the
car bounced him up in the air a few
yards and sort of stunned him."
"Wasn't he hurt at all?" asked the
"Only where the crowd walked on him
tryin' to get at the motorman." said the
Head Bell Boy. "His face was all over
footprints. He's locked up now. The
motorman got away, so the cops taken
him . In, charged with lnterferin' with
traffic or somethin' like that. Some of
the mobbers they went along to the sta-.
tlon-house to make. the complaint
against him. They was a mighty deter
mined mob from first to last, I tell you
"The city mob is always determined."
said the Hotel Clerk. "Determination Is
its strong point. Hops, I can shut my
eye now and see the scene of mob law
as It is enacted daily here on the teem
ing streets of this great city of New
York. prominent and Influential
longshoreman Is en route to his place of
residence. He is carrying one of those
subtle Interior parcels which leave the
arms free but give the legs plenty to do.
He Is standing out in the middle of the
street gently wavering in the evening
breeze and waiting for his house to pass
him. when he Is suddenly and violently
mussed up by the fender of a cross-town
trolley. Thousands gather with loud
cries. Sixteen volunteers pick up the vic
tim by his respective ltmbs and bear him
to the sidewalk and gently lay him down
on a damp spot. If he had had more
limbs there would be more volunteers.
Two hundred gentlemen hover closely
over him, begging everybody else to
stand back and give him air. They'd
give him' some themselves, only they
haven't any to spare.
"The report spreads through the ex
cited throng a penny still clutched In his
or her chubby fist; also that ho is the
aged Apple Mary from yonder corner;
also that he Is a lovely young heiress
stricken down on her way to the tene
ment upon an errand of mercy; also that
he is two handsome young clubmen, both
very prominent in society.
"After that there's notning to It ex
cept swinging up the motorman to the
nearest lamp post. The next to the
nearest won't do. This is a hurry job,
and everybody'd better be on the hop or
they'll miss the spectable of the wretched
creature dangling In his death agony
from the grim iron crossbar. There are
cries for a rope. Every tenth gentleman
reaches Into the inner recesses of his
wardrobe and produces a neat rope.
Until you see a New York mob you'd
never guess there were so many people
in a great city that tiave swore a sol
emn oath never to wear suspenders until
Alton B. Parker Is elected President.
"Through the tense air the cobble
stones begin to hurtle. Women cower
in doorways, hiding the fearsome sight
from their vision. The miserable ob
ject of the lynchers' wrath crouches
against the door of his car. His pallid
lips move in silent prayer or some
thing. The greedy hands of the in
furiated multitude reach forth to pluck
him from his last refuge. And just
then a policeman comes around the
corner and the lynchers all have to
hurry home to keep from being late
for dinner. I used to know a motor
man named Mulcahy that was lynched
38 times before he lost count He quit
the job, because he said the work was
"It's a strange thing. Hops, but I
notice you never hear of a real lynch
ing being pulled off in any large town
that's n the regular- souvenir-postal -card
circuit. The place where they
take somebody out of the county jail
and affix him to a tree on the publtc
square and then disperse In an orderly
manner without disturbing the Sheriff,
who at that moment is under a bed as
far as he can get, and wishing It was
farther. Is nearly always the same In
land village where the wife of the
Methodist minister takes a drink out
of a wayside well and discovers the
next Spring that she Is harboring a
flock of sprightly green lizards. Or
else It's the quiet hamlet in Jeff Davis
County, IS miles from the nearest rail
road, where a prominent citizen is hit
by a streak of lightning which re
moves his shoes and socks, takes off his
trousers, folds thorn neatly over a
limb, melts the rim off his spectacles,
fills two of his teeth that have given
him trouble for years, brands him on
the back with the initials 'W. J. B.'
and then passes into the earth with
a loud roaring sound and a smell like
somebody frying ham.
"As far as I have oeen able to ob
serve, a North American lynching
soiree Is most successful when partici
pated in by about 12 or 15 low-voiced
gentlemen from down in the Mink
Creek country. In the large centers
of civilization, where the bleachers are
open to tne citizens generally, the
crowd back of the foul lines gets so
thick that no hit counts for more than
"Well, anyway, we have some purty
good race riots ever' now and then,"
said the Head Bell Boy, with a touch
of pardonable pride.
"Nothing to brag about," said the
Hotel Clerk, disparagingly. "San Fran
cisco's antl-Japanese outbreaks have
been practical failures. The Japs vio
lated all the ground rules by fighting
back, which was naturally a source of
deep disappointment to the many patri
ots who had been calculating on trans
forming quite a lot of alien eyes from
almond shape to the popular" black
"Anyway, the Northern populace never
seems able to concentrate its attentions
sufficiently to win success In the race
rioting business. Down In the Sunny
Southland, where grow the pine, the pal
metto and other trees not so well known
but equally well adapted for lynching pur
poses, a singleness of Intent invariably
animate? the minds of those concerned.
When they get through with the contract
some dark-complected party has been con
verted Into a set piece or an ornament
for the railroad bridge, depending on the
local conditions and whether the firewood
Is wet. The relatives of the deceased can
go Into half mourning by the simple expe
dient of putting on one white glove apiece
and the Coroner's Jury, after subjecting
the remains to a rigorous cross-examination,
returns a verdict to the effect that
this colored puson aforesaid came to his
death because he couldn't run fast enough.
"But how about it. here In the liberty
loving East, where every man has an
equal chance, only he don't get it? I'll
tell you how It Is. A leading dignitary of
the Afro-American. League of Perspicuity,
going home from lodge, becomes Involved
In an argument with a white gentleman
who's connected with a leading livery
stable in a floor-walking capacity. In or
der to save his own features from can
cellation, it devolves upon him to lay
something on his Caucasian brother's
head that he can't wipe off. As a result
several thousand latter-day disciples of
Garrison and Lovejoy spend the rest of
the evening and the next morning; rioting
around enthusiastically altering the front
ispiece of every pronounced brunette they
meet. Booker T. Washington or the Gold
Dust Twins, It's all ' the same to them.
The Hon. Joe Gans is the only dusky Im
mune you'll see anywhere. The entire
performance Is marked by zeal, but tho
power of discrimination seems lacking."
"Didn't you never hear of a New York
mob really lynchln' anybody?" asked the
Head Bell Boy.
"Well," said the Hotel Clerk, "I once
knew of a frenzied mob of 800 Indignant
citizens on the East Side that mads a
most determined attack upon a chauffeur
who'd run his automobile Into a push cart
"Wot did they do to him?" asked tho
Head Bell Boy. with interest.
"They broke his- umbrella," said the
Hotel Clerk. (Copyright, 1907, by H. H.
This game, which Is really a trick, is
played with a confederate, and if clever
ly done, a "godlie companle" may be
A Showman, armed with a long, point
ed stick, stays in the room and his con
federate, the Guesser. is shut out, while
the company thinks of a word. The
Gusser Is called In, and the Showman
proceeds to spell out the word on the
floor, with sundry- taps and strokes of
The solution is simple enough. The
taps represent the vowels; one tap for a,
two taps for e. three for 1. four for o flvei
for u. and the Gunesser need pay no
attention to any other talking. Suppose,
for Instance, the company selects the
word "book." The cue Is given in the
sentence which the Showman uses to call
the guesser in. He would say, in this
case, "Botter come in." and the Guesser
would know at once that the first letter
of the first word In that sentence will be
the first letter of the word to be guessed.
The Showman taps four times with his
stick and makes a lot of misleading
strokes and signs; then he taps four
times more for the second a, then he
says, in an off-hand way: "Kind of hard.
Isn't it?" or any other sentence intro
duced by the letter k. He finishes up
with more signs and strokes, as if to
puzzle the Guesser, who, of course, has
already secured his word.
The Showman must be quiok and
clever In placing his consonants at the
beginning of spicy sentences, otherwise
the humor of the trick Is lost.
French Law Controls Posters.
French law gives the authorities of
every village and commune complete
control over posters. No one Is per
mitted in France to deface streets and
public plaoes with crude, ostentatious
aABOUDOmnts of his business or other
object. Billboards are infrequent in
Paris and are generally built permanent
ly Into a wall, where they are taxed ac
cording to their superficial area. When
a building is in construction and board
screend are erected to shield the public
from dust and other annoyance such
temporary screen will soon be covered
with posters, but each poster so dis
played has been previously submitted
to the authorities, a license obtained,
and each sheet bears the canceled reve
nue stamp, according to its size.