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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 11, 1906)
6 THE SUNDAY OBEGOKIAX, PORTLAND, FEBRUARY 11, 1906 Entered at -the Fostofflc at Portland. Or as Second-Class Matter. SUBSCRIPTION KATES. CJ' 1XVARIABL.T I" ADVANCE, "OI cBy ilall or Express.) DAILY. SUNDAY INCLUDED. TtreHe months JS.00 Six months 4-25 Three months 25 One month .73 Delivered by carrier, per year S.00 Delivered by carrier, per month. ....... -75 Less time, per week -- -20 Sunday, qijo year 2.50 Meekly, one year (Issued Thursday)... 1.50 Sunday and Weekly, one year 3.50 HOW TO REMIT Send postofnee money order, express order or personal check on your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency arc at the .cndcrg risk. EASTiSKN BUSINESS OFFICE. The S. C. UrckwiUi Special Agency Ncw York, rooms -13-50. Tribune building:. Chi cago, rooms 510-51:: Tribune bulldlns. KEPT ON SAXE. C'lilcaco Auditorium Annex. Fostofflce News Co., ITS Dearborn street. St. Paul, Minn. N. St. Mane. Commercial Station, Denver Hamilton & Kcndrlck. 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Wheatley Movable News Stand, corner Market and Kearney streets; Foster & Orrar. Ferrv New Stand. Washington, D. C Ebbltt House, Penntyl vanla avenue. PORTLAND, SUNDAY. FEBRUARY 11. 190fl WONDEKFUL CHANGE. Strange changes have taken place in the political sentiment of the coun try, as to the relative positions of state and Federal Governments. Our South ern States, which, forty-six years ago, claimed the right of secession and of individual sovereignty and indepen dence, now are willing to forego their claim even to the right and duty, of quarantine at their . own ports, and wish to devolve this function on the general Government. Senator Mallory, of Florida, has of fered a "bill for prevention of the ad vance of yellow fever Into the United States, and apparently he has the sup port of the whole, body -of Senators nnd Representatives of the Southern states for it. Thev bill also makes provision for treatment of the yellow fever, after it phall have filtered ports of tfie United States, and appropriates $500,000 . for its objects, lo be expended under direction of the Marine Hospital Service of the United States. It is the outcome of the ex perience of last Summer, -when Louis iana and other states, in the presence an epidemic of yellow fever, called t-i the general Government for helprand actually turned Over to the general Government the whole management of t'if quarantine and epidemic, in the r sis. Undoubtedly the argument that the g' neral Government, by means of its superior resources and power, can maintain more effectual quarantine iha;i the states and can deal with an epidemic more thoroughly, is sound. But it is a strange argument to come from the old section of state sovereign ty. The world isn't 'bigger than it was in 1860-61; but there are better con ceptions of it, and of the relations of one part or onother to the whole. It is strange to observe that an argu ment against disunion would now be to superior effectiveness of the power of the general Government in dealing t Rh epidemic pestilence, and that ar gument from the South, "The world do move." "SEE AMERICA FIUST." li Is worth while from every point of view. You must know, your own coun try before yob can travel Intelligently In o.hers. There Is little intention, we may suppose, on the part of Americans "who go abroad, of permanent expatri ation. America, then, is their country. How is one who hasn't seen it to have any gauge or standard for comparison of other countries "With it? The simple fact that the people of America, or that portion of them, who undervalue their country live amid pro vincial conditions In our Eastern states. Our Western people have a juster es timate. They do not undervalue the Eastern stales either. Of course we shall find. Indeed we do find. Eastern newspapers, not a few, im-luied to ridicule the movement In our Western. Rocky Mountain and Pa cific ptates, which enjoins it on our 3pople to "see America firsL" The Chl- :tgo Chronicle deals with these in a manner entitled to commendation. It says even those Americans whose chief tie-sire seems to be to mike themselves ns much like Europeans as possible ought to. know by this time that Eu ropeans who travel at all see their own countries first. We can.-not be really like them unless we do likewise. It re marks further that 'the Eastern news papers which enlarge on the necessity. as. a bait for our travelers, for "ex pensive . ruins" and cathedrals, and laret at meals and "no pies served for breakfast" and other witticisms of like nature, -show how little progress they have made as observers and critics in the elements of catholicity and good breeding. Ruin?, continues the Chronicle, are of small consequence to anybody unless he knows the historic associations with them, and of these the great majority of Americans wJio travel for pleasure know very little. As to cathedrals, there are some in the remote Southwest nearly as old. quite as interesting in general and far more shabbily pic turesque than any in Europe, and there are in the same quarter ruins that may not be quite as expensive to see, but are just s useless. The one thing that these and other Western attractions fJr travelers lark in order to become haunted by traveling Americans is that they have not yet been made fashion able. But perhaps the ludicrous thing In the chaff of the Eastern press is that the West, in order to attract tourists, "must' have a population that does not swear, swagger :and carry revolvers;" As to this -ft. may-'belaid that, the man in the street of New York or Chicago will hear more profanity and see more swggering and bumptiousness of all kinds in a week than in town or coun try of the West in twice the time and will probably pass close by more, re volvers hidden away In the clothes of Yeggmen and "tailor-made" tramps. it is probably quite useless to try to convince "this class of Eastern critics of the grotesque caricature-they have conceived, but the real West can afford to laugh at them unaffectedly. At the same time they may take comfort in the thought that "see America first" does not mean Western America only, but all America. To the Chicago Chronicle The Ore gonian wishes to render- lt acknowl edgments for the article from which 4t has drawn largely. The Orcgonlan has drawn from the article because it Is "Just the stuff.". . PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR. Paul Laurence Dunbar, the negro poet. Is dead at his home In Dayton, Ohio, after three years of illness. Like many -poets of greater fame, he died young, for ho -was born In 1872. . As a boy he earned his living by manual work, but managed to graduate from the Dayton High School and very early began to write. The only events In his life have been the publications of hie 21 books, some in prose, some In verse. Dunbar's fame rests upon his poems. In no sense a great poet, he had never theless a true lyric gift, and has sung melodiously, both" of joy and orrow, with pathos, humor and sound phlloso phj. His dialect poems are much "bet ter than those In standard English. The latter are self-conscious. If not stilted In style, and are tinged deeply with a melancholy which may be ra cial. Certainly there Is profound and ad race consciousness -In the strong sonnet "Slow moves the pageant of a climbing race." and something like de spair in the lines to Robert Gould Shaw which close bitterly, . Since thou and thote who with thee died for right. Have died, the present teach, but In vain. Dunbar was probably melancholy by temperament; but his dialect poenis are almost always gay and often Jubilant, while they lack neither pathos nor tender religious feeling. "Two Little Boots" works over a somewhat thread hare sentiment, but "When Dey 'Listed Colored Soldiers,' and "Long Ago," ap peal to the deeps of human nature with absolute lyric, power. There Is nothing lovelier than the chorus. Han a vine toy de chimney IC An one by de cabin lo": An sing a ong for d day dat died. De day of long ago; and If it recalls too vividly the "tender light of a day that Is dead." one must not forget that Tennyson himself bor rowed from those gone before. "Dat Or -Mare O' Mine" is a much finer hu morous poem than Holmes' "One Hops Shay" and will live longer, or ought to. It is less cultured, but go.es directly to the heart in a way Holmes .never dreamed of. Any person to whom the. difference between wit and humor Is indistinct might make it clear by comparing these two poems. Dunbar's best religious lyric Is "De Sheepfol',"' and there are few better ones In English or any other language. His philosophy of life, if tinged with melancholy, if t!U sane, courageous and wholesome. "Dey's lots of knocks you's got to tek. befo' yo journeys done," he sings in "Joggin' Erlong" and "Dey Is times w'en tribulations seems to git de uppah han." but he Insists that It Is best "fb keep on Joggin and a little bit o' song, de mo'n is alius brlghtah w'en de night's been long." Some of Dunbar's lines are so beautiful that they make the throat ache like the muslciof Trovatore. Let one read "A Spring Wooing" and if the shivers do not run down his back at the line j "I's a waltln for you, Lucy." It Is be cause he -cannot feel the beauty of poetry. STRIFE. In the course of his rebuke to Senator Patterson for bolting the plan of action prescribed by the Democratic caucus upon the Dominican treaty. Mr. Ballej-. of Texas, found opportunity to pay his compliments to the President- Mr. Roosevelt, he declared, was the first of our Presidents. Jiving or dead, to ac cept strife as a philosophy of life, and' he wondered how Christian people could support -a man holding such opinions. Clearly Mr. Bailey mu?t have forgotten many things about Christians and Christianity 'before he could have made such a surprising statement. He must have forgotten, .for one thing. Baring Gould's hymn, perhaps more sung than any other by young Christians today, "Onward, Christian Soldiers, Marching as to War." and that other hymn, older and more belligerent still, "Am 1 a Sol dier of the Cross-?" which goes on to pray gallantly, "Since I must fight If I would reign. Increase my courage. Lord." The great songs of the church are all militant. "Thy saints In all this glorious war," so runs one of the grand est, "shall conquer though they die." Christians habitually and Instinctively describe themselves a? warriors, an army with banners, a host engaged In a conflict which death alone may end. "Ne'er think the victory won. nor lay thine armor down; the work of faith will not be done till thou hast gained thy crown." The church on earth is the church militant; only beside the river of the water of life will It become the church triumphant. Mr. Bailey's perplexity Ik therefore needless. Christians support a man who, like Mr. Roosevelt, stands out boldly on the side of righteousness and justice because his fight Is the very heart and soul of their religion. "I came not." declares the founder of Christianity, "to send peace, but a sword." In the apocalyptic vision John beheld him clothed with a raiment dipped In blood, out of his mouth went a sharp sword to smite the nations, and he "treadeth the Wine press of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God." Not long before his death Paul wrote to Timothy, "I have fought a good fight." and if Christians admire the great nupil of Gamaliel for his grit and pugriacity in a worthy cause, why not Roosevelt? Christianity was born In strife. The life of Jesus was a perpetual contest with the Pharisees, who finally over came him and put him to death. The church began in strife between the ad herents of Peter and Paul'. Its early his tory was a complicated and most bitter warfare among zealous sects. It was established In the Roman Empire by war; It was propagated In Germany and Scandinavia by war: its mission aries are sustained by force today in China and Polynesia- The canon of the New Testament was fixed by strife; the doctrine of the trjnliy prevailed only after long and bloody wars. Every metaphysical dogma of the church has been Imposed upon the world by mili tary force- "There is fid discharge In that war." Bunyan, whose writings are esteemed next to the Bible among the faithful, depicts the Christian life as a "holy war." In the "Pilgrim's Progress" Christian had to fight a death struggle with Apollyon. Mr. Bailey ought to wonder not how Chris tians can support Roosevelt, but how any of them can oppose him. Mr. Bailey's statement that the Pres ident has accepted strife as a philoso phy of life will be news to most people. Mr. Roosevelt has pointed out the effi cacy of war in advancing civilization, but that is a very different thing from making it an ideal to live for. If he had done so, however, he would have followed the example of some of the best and greatest of men. It is one of the oldest and most persistent tenets of religion and philosophy that the uni verse exists by reason of strife be tween two opposing powers, sometimes called Light and Darkness, sometimes Ormuzd and Ahriman. sometimes God and the Devil; with the corollary that should the strife cease, the universe would vanish and human history come to an end. Certainly that part of the universe which we call the United States began in strife and -Its -whole history so far is a record of strife, sometimes on the battlefield, sometimes In Congress: now in the Federal Courts, now In the realm -6f Industry; but always between two opposite and eternally hostile princi ples. One principle declares that the earth and the fullness thereof "were made for the benefit of a few select In dividuals; the other that they were made for the equal benefit of all man kind. During the first three-quarters of a century of our history the first of these principles was maintained by Mr. Bailey's party In the institution of hu man slavery. It is now maintained by Mr. Bailey himself and many of his Senatorial colleagues' in their attacks upon the President, who stands before the country as the champion of equal rights And a square deal for all men. To champion an idea means strife. No idea, however good In itself, ever, made Its way in the world by peaceful means. A few have prevailed without actual bloodshed; but there may be bit ter strife without death and slaughter. When -Mr. Bailey says the President has adopted the philosophy of strife he may simply mean that Mr. Roosevelt will never rest until the principles of right and Justice prevail in Federal leg islation. If this Is his meaning, his re mark Is probably true. But Is it to be accounted to a man for dishonor that he remains Inflexibly loyal to the people who elected him their Chief Magistrate? If such loyalty involves strife with public enemies, should the blame fall upon him who fights for the National welfare, or those who fight against It? If Mr. Roosevelt Is the only President who has engaged in this strife, as Mr. Bailey asserts, does that fact make him less than the others, or greater? ANCIENT AMERICA. "The North Americans of Antiquity" have always been a puzzle to the stu dents of the archaeology of the West ern Hemisphere. There was a race here long preceding the coming and ex istence of the race or wees found here by the European discoverers. They left tokens of their presence in the great mounds of the Ohio. Valley and in the architectural ruins of Middle and Southern North America. Cranial measurements and such relics of their art as have been recovered show they were of different race from the "Red Indians" found here by Columbus and his successors. The relics and ruins show there was some kind of civiliza tion here. In an era of unknown an tiquity. It is ' now believed .generally by ethnologists that the Indian races with which we have been familiar dur ing our era are kin to Asiatic stock and came from Asia within a. time compar atively recent, But the older race what was it? The query leads to the suggestion that man .may have existed In the Western at an earlier time than in the Eastern Hemisphere. . At all events It is practically settled that a very ancient race inhabited America; that it was very different from our modern Indian races, and that our modem Indians knew nothing of II What caused the disappearance of this ancient race Is open to conject ure. Such records as remain exist In the works this race left behind it. The remains form a study of Increasing Interest among ethnologists and arch aeologists everywhere. A party of Frenchmen." under direction of Count Maurice de Peregny. is' now at work in "Central America. From It come sur prising announcements of new discov eries of a great city of the Mayas. There has been much of this or similar work heretofore, the results of which are recorded in the accounts of many explorers. But we are told all will be eclipsed by the publication of the new proofs and discoveries. A CAM! OP MULTIPLE PERSONALITY. King Leopold. -of Belgium. Is a mon arch whose power is strictly limited by constitutional restraint. King Leo pold, of the Congo State, though he is the same man, is subject lo no such limitations. In his African dominions he is tin absolute despot, and there Is overwhelming evidence to prove that he is avaricious and cruel almost be yond parallel. The Congo State Is not a dependency of Belgium or In any way subject to the Belgian government. King Leopold was made Its sovereign, by International agreement. In his per sonal, not In his official capacity. The distinction may seem a fine one. but It is common enough In history. The Czar of Russia, for example, is Duke of Finland In his personal ca pacity only, and If the treaty of 1809 were observed, the Russian government would have jio power In Finland. Tho two countries would be entirely inde pendent, though under a common ruler. Theoretically the case is much the same -with Austria and Hungary. The Aus trian Emperor Is King of Hungary, but Hungary Is not a etate subject to Aus tria nor Is It a part of Austria. An arrangement of the same sort existed until very recently between Norway and Sweden: Oscar was King over both countries, but they were entirely Inde pendent of each other. To go a little farther back In history, William- the Norman, King of England, was also Duke of Normandy, and in the latter capacity had to do homage to the King of France, though as King of England, he was an equal sovereign. The metaphysical complexity of this arrangement In the world of politics al most parallels some modern develop ments In high finance. William of Nor mandy making war on France as King of England at. the same time that he di? homage as Duke of Normandy is almost as .interesting a figure as J. P. XorgJn selling stock as an Insurance officer and buying It in as a banker. The idea of multiple personality is thus seen .to be ancient and highly respect able. Leopold as a dual ruler has not neg lected that species of charity which -begins and ends at home. As -ruler of the Congo State he possesses in that unhaDDV country a orlvate estate cov- J erlng abouf 113.900 square miles, whose principal products are rubber and Ivory- To gather his harvest he com pels the natives to work for him with out pay, and the ordinary penalty which he Inflicts for Idleness Is to cut off the offender's hands and feet, or both. The natives work under bosses judiciously selected from hostile tribes and, it is credibly reported, that bosses not only pay no respect to 'family reli tlons. but. they have murdered whole villages on slight provocation and oc casionally they feast upon the bodies of their victims. Under Leopold's rule the population of the Congo State has decreased by 10.000,000 souls in some fifteen years, but this misfortune seems to be com-, pensated by an Increase of J15.000.000 In his private fortune. Thus every dead African for whom Leopold Is respon sible has netted him exactly $1.50. Probably the Reverend Thomas Dixon. Jr.. would call this a fair price, but to the rest of the world the transaction presents features more or less repul sive. Since Leopold was set over the Congo State by International agree ment, and has apparently done very well for himself in the office, the time seems ripe for the nations which se lected hftn to suggest that he follow the Illustrious example of Mr. Mo Curdy without delay and retire from his fruitful graft. In choosing his suc cessor it might be well to pay some at tention to the welfare of the ya9t do minion which he .has plundered and ruined. A MODERN MIRACLE. The development of Helen Kellar challenges the wonder of mankind. Who shall say that the age of miracles Is past, after having read a brief synop sis of the achievement of patience and faith and labor in behalf of 'and by this, young woman during the past twenty-five years?' The record shows that the deaf has been made to hear, the dumb to speak and the blind, by the power of spiritual Insight to see. . A child of very ordinary natural en dowments, she was utterly bereft of sight and hearing in her Infancy. It would seem that with wisdom, not alone at the entrance, but at two en trances "quite shut out." this child must have gone in darkness ttnd silence and ignorance to her grave. And this would have been Helen Kellar's fate but for the miracle that kindness and patience and love worked In her case. The Instrument through which this modern miracle has been worked is an earnest, highly developed, patient woman Miss Anna Sullivan. We can well believe that the expenditure of pa tience, courage and persistence shown in bringing Helen Kellar from the status of a "young wild animal" lo that of a cultivated, refined young woman is Incomprehensive. The outlay has no bounds by which It can be meas ured, and in marveling at the product the artificer should not be forgotten. Of course Miss Sullivan has had many and valuable assistants, without whose co-operation the results obtained would not have been possible; but she has been the mainspring of the endeavor, the workings of which have astonished the world as truly Inspired as was ever any laborer In the wide vineyard of Is sad to note that Helen Kellar has broken down at this period of her wonderful career -sad. but not surpris ing. Though , special care has .been taken of her health, she has been for years on a nervous strain so tense that a breakdown was at all times a shad owing possibility. Several times It has seemed Imminent and now she has been ordered to rest for many months. Fully appreciating what has been done for her. Miss Kellar is anxious to do all that she can for others. And there Ik much to do so much that the anlclpa tion of the doing, fully as much as the daily task, has worn upon and sapped the nerve energy of this willing worker. The great difficulty will be in getting her away from herself In her thought and fear for others. Unless this can be accomplished there will be no rest for her. and without rest the miracle of Helen Kellar's life will soon end. SCHOOL RIFLE PRACTICE. A feature of Brooklyn High School, work, lately Introduced In those schools. Is training In rifle shooting. It Is In dorsed, according to the . Brooklyn Eagle, by General Oliver. Assistant Secretary of War; General Crozler, Chief of. Ordnance. Major-Genera! Charles F. Roe and many other promi nent military men. The two flrst named Generals are said to be enthusi astic over the Innovation and to con sider it one of the most important, from a military standpoint, that has taken place Irf the country for many years. Naturally, military men are ready to Indorse, and . with enthusiasm, any measure that tends toward the making of effective soldiers out of w large body of young men. But what does the grand army of civilians think about adding a shooting gallery to every high school building in the land? Is it prof itable or wise to imbue the great army of American boys, a vast majority of whom will pursue the vocations of peace, with the active military spirit? Do not the vital needs of the country lie along lines of Industry and enter prise In which the rifle bears no part? Is it not the purpose of the public school system to train boys and girls for the common duties of life. In the pursuit of which homes are built, fam ilies are brought up. the resources of the country developed, and Its business and commercial interests advanced? If we are to becothe a Nation of fighters, by all means let the boys in our high schools be taught to be sharp shooters. Let rifle contests become a feature of athletic sports, and let fierce rivalry be engendered in the effort among boys to become "crack shots." But if the great army of American boys are to be given training in the public schools that will make them ef fective citizens along Industrial and commercial lines. let military training be left to the great training school at West Point, unless parents care to pay for It In the private schools that make the military fad a specialty. Any one who knows anything about the nature of boys o'f the high school age knows that their fighting instincts need to be restrained rather than en couraged; wisely and temperately di rected rather than stimulatd; and that athletic sports s now existing take the full measure of time allotted by pru dence from study. In brief, boytr in our public schools should be trained in the arts of peace, leaving the arts of wur to be acquired under officers now in training and who have been trained In methods of war at the great Military Academy, when occasion requires. American patriotism can be trusted to spring to the fore, and American aptitude in learning be de pended upon to produce sharpshooters In time of the country's need. War can never be more than an incident, the exigencies of which will be promptly met. Peace, on the contrary! makes and will ever make the- most exacting and steady demands upon the energies of young American manhood. RESTORING THE POST CANTEEN. The fight .to restore the canteen is on in Congress. Representative Morrell. of Philadelphia, stands sponsor for the bllL Introduced for that purpose re cently. There Is evidence in abun dance to prove that the Army or post canteen Is a protection to the soldier and therefore a benefit to the service. Fully 90 per cent of the commanding officers of the Army urge its restora tion, while the Secretary of War, who sees things as they are and does not speculate upon matters as they should be. says the present law increases drunkenness, disease, insubordination, desertion and moral and physical de generacy among the soldiers. Against such testimony ws this sentiment can hardly prevail. Upon the common ground that the soldier should riot drink intoxicating bex-erages ' all may meet- To the fact that many, and indeed most, soldiers do drink, and will drink, all who are well Informed agree. The question therefore resolves itself Into considera tion of the best means to minimize the evils of the drink habit among soldiers In garrison. The consensus of opinion, based upon actual .observation, favors the post canteen under military super vision as preferable In every way .to the saloon Just outside the garrison gate. Upon this showing the oanteen may perhaps be restored. President Roosevelt in his usual un mistakable English Indorses' the action of the court-martial that reduced Lieu tenant Ray I, Taylor twelve numbers for Insulting a subordinate at a theater some weeks ago. The Lieutenant re quested the subordinate a Sergeant in uniform to move to another part of the house which the latter did. making thereafter complaint of the insult "of fered. The President regards the insult as a flagrant one and takes occasion to declare that there Is no body of men of similar size lp this country which merits so well of the country s the officers and enlisted men of the Army and Navy of the United States. When the President adds: "The uniform' of the enlisted imn is a badge of honor," he states that which compels the re spect not only of civilians, but of the commissioned officers of the great body of which they are duly respected as the head. We want no French marti nets nor German bullies in our Army and Navy and will have none If "the policy indicated by President Roosevelt in treating enlisted men Is carried out. One of the surprises disclosed by sta tistics given out by the Department of Commerce and Labor is the state ment that Italy furnishes a good mar ket for American products, outranking In this respect Belgium. Cuba. Austra lasia and Argentine and exceeding, by 100 per cent this market offered by the entire continent of Africa- Our exports to and Imports from Italy very nearly balance, there being the difference of only 5100,000 in favor of exports. Run ning back over the years it is found that In thirty years our trade with Italy has aggregated considerably more than $1.000.000.000 of which 55SS.000.000 repre sented Imports. These statistics are of interest In view of the fact that Italy has contributed more than a million and a half population to this country since 1S00. King Charles, of Roumanla. better known as the husband of "Carmen Sylva." the pen name of his queen. Jls seriously III. His GT years and not abstemious life render a fatal termina tion probable. His nephew. Prince Ferdinand, .whose wife Is a niece of King Edward, of England, is heir to the throne. The pure domestic life of Queen Victoria and the Prince Consort has been a dependable quantity In sup plying the thrones of Europe occupied by childless rulers in the past. It now looksas If they will occupy every throne, great and small, upon the con tinent within another generation. It sometimes pays to have .more than one string to your bow. If the freight rate bill shall serve to lessen Mr. Har rlman's revenue, he can recoup himself from the 515.000.000 Mexico will pay him to build a thousand miles of rail road through her rich western territory. President. Woodrow Wilson, of Princeton.. Is the newest mention for Democratic standard bearer in 190S.. No prophet is needed to tell that In the convention he will be among the "also rans." He bolted Bryan In 1S9S. Demanding money from the man your client is doing business with is held in Washington. D. C. to be. a breach of legal etiquette- Out West stronger language Is applied to .that sort of a transaction. Uarrlman. railroad magnate, is going to raise alfalfa along the line of the Southern Pacific in the Willamette Val ley. Which Is a better business than raising hades on 'the New York stock exchange. Compared with King Leopold's ad ministration of the Congo Free State. Papa McCurdy's management of the Mutual Life stands out as a shining example of thrift and honesty. Now that the Minnesota judges have sent back their annual passes for 1906 it may be safely set down that they will travel less the remainder of the year. Dead-head business always stim ulates passenger traffic. Through honors paid by the Royal Astronomical Society of London, this country has learned of the eminence of President William Wallace Campbell, of the Lick Observatory. ' Many a lawyer In the United States will view with envy the rich pickings promised in Mrs. Yerkes-Mizner's at tempt to break Charles T.'s will. Whatever King Leopold did not take by divine right he acquired by virtue of a rubber conscience. x THE INTERPRETATION THEROF. "Portland divines,'. as we learn, "ate a free lunch." rt seems to have been at the Hotel Portland. It was on Thurauay evenlng, . the night of the eclipse of the moon, which everybody observed. Pro fessor Hocksladter gave the lecture. We quote from the Evening Telegram's re port: "The pure, beautiful orb of nisb't." as serted the professor, in his most convin cing lecture-room voice, and with his most didactic manner, "the bright regent of the heavens veiled her glorious face be cause," he stopped, impressively, "be cause, gentlemen, she did not desire to witness the spectacle presented by my e3teemed .friends, the Rev. Dr. Clarence True Wilson and the Rev. Dr. F. Burgette Short standing at the free-lunch counter of the Portland Hotel bar" "Professor, professor." cried one of his pupils, "surely. In your search for easy solutions of abstruse problems you have permitted the dust of imagination to lodge too thickly on your optometer." Professor Hochstader glared over his glasses. "I repeat that the easiest, best and most convincing reason for what the ordinary mind tcrnii tin eclipse of the moon on .Thursday night resides wholly In the statement that the timid Luna did not desire to see the doctors of divinity whom J have named consuming from the groanlnjr board at the Portland Hotel bar tue free luncheon spread there as an addi tional enticement and lure for those who gaze at the so-called phenomena of nature and art through the bottoms of cut glasses. The class In astronomy was properly shocked, and u committee was appointed to wait on the Rev. Dr. Wilson and the Rev. - Short to learn from them If tho reason Professor Hochstader gave for the moon's eclipse wa3 the true one. The Rev. Dr. F. Burgett Short was seen II rat. "Dr. Short, did you accept the hospital Itr of the Portland Hotel's free-lunch counter on Thursday nlghtr he was asked. ''Why, who told you that.?" "Professor Hochstader s'aid you were there, and that you seemed to be enjoving the item of the menu." "Well." said the Rev. Dr. Short, "we were in there Thursday and did cat some of the free lunch." "While Professor Hochstader did not say you shook for the drinks, may" "Oh. no, no!" cried the doctor, "really we did nor shake for the drinks." "May we ask who paid for the liquid that accompanied the free lunch?" "Why." said Dr. Short, "we did not buy a drink at all-" Some or Professor Hochstader's pupils, who know the rules of three and free lunch bars, almost fainted. "We went Into the Portland Hotel." con tinued Dr. Short, "and saw a nice free lunch, and Dr. Wilson and I partook of "0U" asked one or the committee, not Dr. Clarence True Wilson?" Dr. Short nodded, slowly but convin cingly. Dr. Wilson admitted that he had been at Portland Hotel free-lunch counter on Thursday night, and that he had en joyed a capital sandwich. "What sort, doctor?" "Turkey." "Nothing else?" 'Um m. maybe a caviar sandwich." Nothing else?" "I don't remember?" "Who bought the drinks?" "Why." said the doctor, "we did not have any drinks." Another member of the committee faint ed. "What were you doing in the Portland Hotel bar? "Just passing through. We did not know that people had to buy a drink before they were allowed to eat at the free-lunch counter." Professor Hochstader's explanation of the eclipse of the moon on Thursday may be the true one. Now we know we never knew before the meaning of that passage in vOthello." It refers to the free-lunch at the Hotel Portland, and to the general "carryings on" at that hoste'lry of 'the first families. This Is Othello, to-wlt: Heaven stops the nose at It and the moon winks. The bawdy wind that kisses all it meets Is hushed within the hollow mine of earth. And will not hear it. THE SWEARING HABIT. When Stronjr Words Come Handy. Mobile CAia.) Herald. In America we will fight the swearing habit. We will admit thnt it is immoral and unwise to cuss, but ther Is a heap of comfort In the- fact that when the Jelly refuses to jell and the stepladder falls and the door closes on two Angers and a boll' finds Its resting place on the end of one's nose, there are words, oodles of them. In this good English language that might be used if a victim was so minded. There Is nothing like having a thing hand even if you do not want It. Blaming It on the 3 rule. St. Louis Republic! Swearing is something of an eeonomic necessity In a community where hauling and the mule are an Industrial factor. It Is a well-known condition here in Missouri that in driving as many as four mules oVer or through a mudhole a certain amount of otherwise questionable exhor tation Is Inevitable The mules expect and demand it. And it Is an Indisputable therapeutical fact, while it has no cog nate bearing on the theme, that nothing is better for a torpid liver than a warm discussion with a team of mules. The Respectable' Places. There Is a weekly paper at Los- Angeles known as "Conable's Path Finder." It has been published several years, and has achieved a reputation. It has these things to say. which have as direct application in Portland as in Los Angeles: Most or our reformers who are in the reform business commence at the wrong end.of the proposition. The place to begin Is at the beginning In the places where the innocent and unsuspecting first taste the cup which leads to their ruin. Let the close attention of our reformers be flrstsdirected to the "swell" cafes of the city the grills, so-called run by the big hotels and restaurants, where intox icating drinks of all sorts are served to girls anu young women. The midnight strains of orchestral music and the lurid lignts which shed their seductive rays along the crowded highways tell not or the secret Inner workings or these resorts or ruin. No. this Is not their business. They arc. there to swell the great crowd or victims and . line the pockets or the human vultures who trarflc in the virtue of whatever and whomsoever enter the outer casements of these gilded hells where women take the initial steps which lead to their final downfall. In the light or oqr present-day craze to cet money and amass fortunes without honest effort, the social evil in all portions or this country Is increasing not dimin ishing and this Is Immensely to our dis credit and to our shame. That Boy Will Do Something. Chicago Chronicle. There has been much chaffing comment or late on the fact that George Westing house. Jr.. of Pittsburg; has gone hito hi? father's great shops in that city at a wage rate of IS cents per hour, carrying a lunchbox and wearing the regulation overalls of the shop. Why anybody should sniff at the heir of a great 'fortune for thus trying to , understand the business that made the fortune from the Inside passes all common sense to see. In the course of nature he must one day suc ceed to Its management, but unless he understands. It he will nor long have any business to manage. He laid the founda tion of his education by graduating rrom Tale and now sensibly proposes to finish It by graduating from the shop. He seems ns fortunate in his good sense as In his heirship. Cross Purposes. Cleveland Leader. . Mrs. Klubbs (severely) I've been lying awake these three hours, waiting for you to come home. Mr. Klubbs (ruefully) Gee! And L'vc been staying away for three hours, wait ing for you to go to sleep. THE PESSIMIST. A dispatch from Washington the other day inrormcd us that the Government in the course or two or three months will have two additional regiments or infantry and six field batteries installed in the Phil ippines, ready for Immediate field service in China. That means that the Chinese j will have to stop their fooling and buy . more of our goods. If they don't, they will gt killed What is a Chinaman good for. anyway, except to wash shirts, and buy American manufactured products? He may not like them, but what difference docs that make? He is a heathen. He is no good, because ,he can't fight. Buy our goods or fight! That is the motto of the American peo ple. Nevertheless.' it would be something of a joke on us should our troops run into a bunch of Japs who might be looking around to see what was doing. "Mr. Dallain. of the. Marine Depart ment, submitted figures of a test or tul lirc-prcscrvcrs showing that out weighing 4 pounds S ounces weighed 13 pounds i ounces artcr 21 hours' submersion." Sponge is another good thing to make II re-preservers out of. It Is nice and light and It won't sink unless It Rets wet. The chief objection to the use of sponge for Ilfp-prescrvcrs is the Tact that sponge is expensive. The prime factor to be considered in se lecting material for life-preservers Is to get something cheap. Now tuie Is cheap. Jt is not difficult to grow. It grows itself In swamps. It is sometimes called bull rushes. On the whole, it Is nn excellent material ror life-preservers. At least, the shipowners seem to think so. Thy con sider It to be more buoyant than cork, "buoyant" In this connection meaning light, airy, as opposed to heavy heavy expense. Tule Is a Spanish-American word, pro nounced too-lay. with the accent on the two. It Is derived from the American verb "to lay.' to lay down at $2 a ton. f. o. b. Each Christian Science lecturer who comes to town makes the tiling harder to understand. After a while the subject will become so incomprehensible that everyone will be able to believe it, a "A dull' person likes that which is dull, a common person that which is common. A person whose ideas are mixed is at tracted by confusion or thought, while folly appeals to him who has no brains at all." Schopenhauer. The above quotation from the eminent German philosopher has no bearing upon Christian Science, except that the phrase, "a person whose ideas are mixed is at tracted by confusion of thought." may ex plain to some extent why it is that so many worthy people will pay actual, tan gible dollars to be cured of a disease that does not exist, particularly when, in th terms or the Christian Science philosophy Itself, the dollars themselves do not exist, or at least the dollars arc not "actual," as Mrs. Mimms would say. If neither the disease nor the dollars ex ist, wherefore the necessity of a cure, or the paying of the dollars? This is not a criticism: it is merely the wall of one who wants to know. i Christian Science is receding somewhat from its position that matter does not ex ist. Its present contention, according to Mrs. Mimms. is that it Is not "actual ' In .ner lecture in the Belasco Theater. Friday evening, she said In part: Christian Science -Is entirely unique in Its dealings with the question of evII.W matter It rests absolutely on the basis that God l. the only, the infinite one. omniscient, om nipotent, omnipresent Rood: the all-inclusl mind, beside .whom "there Is none else "The flesh lusteth against the spirit, and the spirit against, the, flesh." Because or tli's opposition of spirit to the tlesh. we know that logically one cannot be the outcome of the other any more than light can emit darkness, or truth express a He. Therefore Christian Science denies that matter or ma teriality can be actual, or the emanation of the one spirit, the only cause. It does no deny man or the universe, but only a fale. material sense of them. It is hard to dispute the above asser tions, because it is difficult to tell what they mean. If she means that God is tli only, the Infinite one. besides whom no one else exists, then it would be difficult to account for the presence or so many actual, tangible and good-looking people In the Belasco Theater, who seemed to be listening to her. However, that does not fairly outline her position, because she says: ' It (Christian Science) does not deny man or the universe, but only a raise material sense or them." At first glance. It would seern that the audience was composed merely of a false material sense. It Is evldent'that there Is something the mat ter with that view of the question, be cause. If it were true. Mrs. Mimms would not have wasted her time talking to such a thing as a false material sense, and besides she would be a false material sense herseir. That would not do at all. because there she was explaining to the people all about it. Her statement that "Christian Science denies that matter or materiality can be actual. . - " does not help the situation much, because the audience Is still In an unsatisfactory condition I am bound to save that audience. It would be a shame to lose a lot of nice people In the airy regions of metaphysical subtleties. The solution of the difficulty, if any solution there be. lies in the remainder or the sentence last quoted. Getting it away by itself It reads as follows: "Christian Science denies that matter or materiality can be . . . the emanation of the one spirit, the only cause." This probably means that evil, or matter (mat ter and evil are the same thing, according to Christian Science) cannot be the ema nation of God. who Is good. If this curious thing, which is both evil and matter. Is not the emanation of God. whence did it come? The Zoroastrians claimed that It came from the devil. Of course, that leaves the audience in bad shape, but It Is not my fault. I did the best I could. M. B. WEI J Peter's Sleep Valentines. To Peter In his sleep appeared A troop of valentines most weird. On one a creature was portrayed That really made him feel afraid- A gross fat boy of bilious hue A line beneath said. "This Is you." Another Jumped upon his bed: "I. too. am Just like you." It said. And what did angry Peter see? A pig as piggy as could be! And ever there came more and mor-. Cntlt there stood more than three score. Printed with pictures and with rhymes. Reminding Peter of his crimes. One said: "You will not comb your hair!" Another said: "Your clothes you tear!" "You will not mind!" the next one Jald: And one: "You'lle too long In bed!" They danced and sang: "Arc we not fine? How do you like your valentine?" Then Peter groaned and said: "Oh. dear! I'll be a dlfte'ernt boy next year"