S - '
THE" SUNDAY. OKECiONIAr 3 UNK 11, lWKS:
43T
A PAGE OF HUMOR, WITH PICTURES BY GIBSON AND OTHERS
The Reasoa.
TTnri T".ira What la iunketi d'ye
SPECIAL- CARTOON DRAWN" BYT CHARLES DANA GIBSON.
s'pose the WIdder Hugglns married old
Lester Totterly for?
Uncle Tlmrcd For his money, o course!
Why I gash! he's gettla HI a month
pension! ,
A Savior.
"Yon have a new baby In the bouse, I
believe, sir?"
The voice ot the kindly and decorous
looking stranger was respectful and so
licitous. "We have, sir." said the temporary head
of the house and baby's father. "What
can I do for you, sir?"
The stranger paused, and then entered
the halL
"I feci sure." he said, "that you will
listen to me to the end. In the first place
Tra not an agent. I am a buffer."
"A flutter? What Is- that?"
"I stand between you and well. I rep
resent the society for the prevention of
cruelty to newly-made fathers. I fore
stall all the visits of relatives. When
the neighbors call to offer their advice
as to feeding and care, one of my repre
sentatives will be on hand to protect you.
If the trained nurse doesn't suit, I have
a patent device for getting her out of the
house without any unpleasantness. I
ward off the agents for new baby foods.
In brief, sir. for a slight consideration. I
agree to protect you from the outside
world until your baby Is on Its feet."
The joyful father clasped his hand.
"My dear sir," he exclaimed fervently,
"you have come Just In the nick of time.
Run right upstairs, will you. and get by
the trained nurse If you can and get me
a few decent clothes out of the chiffonier
that once was mine. I've been living In
the front hall now for -four days without
even the blessings of a clean shirt, and
no one to talk to but the doctor as he
came ana went." xuii JOAsaui.
She I'd be perfectly happy here In the country, if there was only a theater or something to go to In the evening.
He I agree with you, EtheL What we want is a farm in the heart of the city." Copyright, Life Publishing Company.
THE EVOLUTION OF LOVE.
" Important.
The way of a man with a maid Is not
A matter I care to plan.
But I should really like to know
The way of a maid with a man.
Goldsmith In 1905.
When lovely woman stoops to folly.
And .has her sins told in the press,
Why does she not grow roeianehaly?
Why do her smiles grow none the len?
The reason that she Is so sunny
And cares not how the good may rage.
Is that she's thinking of the money
She'll make by going on the stag,
Ono "Word.
'Never mind, George I've -saved the trading stamps we got with it!"
Tne actor Well, Tve Just got a Summer engagement.
The friend Is there money in It, or la it a love part?
Shortly after dark.
Going Rim One Better.
First child I've bad three new nurses
In three months.
Second child That's nothing. I've had
three new mothers.
"Ah. Genevieve. Just cay one Httle.word
of three letters that will make me bap"
The mald-Glt!
Politeness.
The N s have a Summer cottage In
an unfrequented spot along the shore.
On hot Summer afternoons, when they
are alone. Mr. N allows his son, age"
3. to go Into the water without the for
mality of a bathing-suit. One such after
noon last Summer a party of young peo
ple from town arrived unexpectedly, and
were comfortably settled on the wide
veranda when young Richard calmly
ascended the steps, clad only Irf unsus
pecting innocence and a huge straw hat.
For an instant absolute alienee reigned,
then the boy's big brother said sternly:
"Richard, remove your hat in the pres
ence of ladles!"
Bis sister Now. Lulu, I gave you 10
cent to be good. Have you been good?
Small slrter Oh, 'bout 10 cents' worth.
I guess.
Transferred.
CifMnmer I want another bottle of that
stuff you told me would drive every sin
gle flea from my dog.
Druggist What for? Didn't It do what
I said?
"Oh. yes. But I want this bottle for
myself."
Hope.
Hope springs eternal In the old maid's
breast;
She never Is, but always to be, pressed.
A Laggard.
First schoolgirl Maggie Is very much
behind hand In her studies. Isn't she?
Second schoolgirl Atrociously so. Why,
she doesn't know any more than her
parents.
JERSEX JUSTICE.
The wasp Gee! I'd like to see the fel
low that said It was cool around the Fiat-
Iron.
Mathematical.
Yes!" said the old mathematician with
a gleam In his watery blue eyes: "I've
always, looked at It that way. Marriage
Is Addition; when the little ones come,
It's Multiplication; when dissension looms
up to cloud the horizon of their happi
ness, it's Division: and then when the
final parting comes, it's Subtraction!"
"And how about Divorce?" asked the
listener.
"Oh! I guess that would come under
the denomination of Fractions!"
The giraffe:
The Hippo:
"Why in thunder don't you keep step?
Those Tom Cats.
"Each dog has his day,"
Is a proverb o'er-trite; v
So we add. if we may:
Each cat has his- night!
Walter Pulitzer.
Changed.
To love a girl and then not get her
Was once "a timely song. .
To get a girl and then not love her
I3 now not far from wrong.
Described.
"What kind of a honeymoon did you
have?' '
"First rate. I distributed a continuous
line of kisses over three railroad systems,
at a cost of a thousand dollars." .
Chlrup Lucky bird that Tweetsy. He
got run over by an airship and gets 510,
000 damages.
A WELCOME TO THE SUMMER GIRL.
r