S - ' THE" SUNDAY. OKECiONIAr 3 UNK 11, lWKS: 43T A PAGE OF HUMOR, WITH PICTURES BY GIBSON AND OTHERS The Reasoa. TTnri T".ira What la iunketi d'ye SPECIAL- CARTOON DRAWN" BYT CHARLES DANA GIBSON. s'pose the WIdder Hugglns married old Lester Totterly for? Uncle Tlmrcd For his money, o course! Why I gash! he's gettla HI a month pension! , A Savior. "Yon have a new baby In the bouse, I believe, sir?" The voice ot the kindly and decorous looking stranger was respectful and so licitous. "We have, sir." said the temporary head of the house and baby's father. "What can I do for you, sir?" The stranger paused, and then entered the halL "I feci sure." he said, "that you will listen to me to the end. In the first place Tra not an agent. I am a buffer." "A flutter? What Is- that?" "I stand between you and well. I rep resent the society for the prevention of cruelty to newly-made fathers. I fore stall all the visits of relatives. When the neighbors call to offer their advice as to feeding and care, one of my repre sentatives will be on hand to protect you. If the trained nurse doesn't suit, I have a patent device for getting her out of the house without any unpleasantness. I ward off the agents for new baby foods. In brief, sir. for a slight consideration. I agree to protect you from the outside world until your baby Is on Its feet." The joyful father clasped his hand. "My dear sir," he exclaimed fervently, "you have come Just In the nick of time. Run right upstairs, will you. and get by the trained nurse If you can and get me a few decent clothes out of the chiffonier that once was mine. I've been living In the front hall now for -four days without even the blessings of a clean shirt, and no one to talk to but the doctor as he came ana went." xuii JOAsaui. She I'd be perfectly happy here In the country, if there was only a theater or something to go to In the evening. He I agree with you, EtheL What we want is a farm in the heart of the city." Copyright, Life Publishing Company. THE EVOLUTION OF LOVE. " Important. The way of a man with a maid Is not A matter I care to plan. But I should really like to know The way of a maid with a man. Goldsmith In 1905. When lovely woman stoops to folly. And .has her sins told in the press, Why does she not grow roeianehaly? Why do her smiles grow none the len? The reason that she Is so sunny And cares not how the good may rage. Is that she's thinking of the money She'll make by going on the stag, Ono "Word. 'Never mind, George I've -saved the trading stamps we got with it!" Tne actor Well, Tve Just got a Summer engagement. The friend Is there money in It, or la it a love part? Shortly after dark. Going Rim One Better. First child I've bad three new nurses In three months. Second child That's nothing. I've had three new mothers. "Ah. Genevieve. Just cay one Httle.word of three letters that will make me bap" The mald-Glt! Politeness. The N s have a Summer cottage In an unfrequented spot along the shore. On hot Summer afternoons, when they are alone. Mr. N allows his son, age" 3. to go Into the water without the for mality of a bathing-suit. One such after noon last Summer a party of young peo ple from town arrived unexpectedly, and were comfortably settled on the wide veranda when young Richard calmly ascended the steps, clad only Irf unsus pecting innocence and a huge straw hat. For an instant absolute alienee reigned, then the boy's big brother said sternly: "Richard, remove your hat in the pres ence of ladles!" Bis sister Now. Lulu, I gave you 10 cent to be good. Have you been good? Small slrter Oh, 'bout 10 cents' worth. I guess. Transferred. CifMnmer I want another bottle of that stuff you told me would drive every sin gle flea from my dog. Druggist What for? Didn't It do what I said? "Oh. yes. But I want this bottle for myself." Hope. Hope springs eternal In the old maid's breast; She never Is, but always to be, pressed. A Laggard. First schoolgirl Maggie Is very much behind hand In her studies. Isn't she? Second schoolgirl Atrociously so. Why, she doesn't know any more than her parents. JERSEX JUSTICE. The wasp Gee! I'd like to see the fel low that said It was cool around the Fiat- Iron. Mathematical. Yes!" said the old mathematician with a gleam In his watery blue eyes: "I've always, looked at It that way. Marriage Is Addition; when the little ones come, It's Multiplication; when dissension looms up to cloud the horizon of their happi ness, it's Division: and then when the final parting comes, it's Subtraction!" "And how about Divorce?" asked the listener. "Oh! I guess that would come under the denomination of Fractions!" The giraffe: The Hippo: "Why in thunder don't you keep step? Those Tom Cats. "Each dog has his day," Is a proverb o'er-trite; v So we add. if we may: Each cat has his- night! Walter Pulitzer. Changed. To love a girl and then not get her Was once "a timely song. . To get a girl and then not love her I3 now not far from wrong. Described. "What kind of a honeymoon did you have?' ' "First rate. I distributed a continuous line of kisses over three railroad systems, at a cost of a thousand dollars." . Chlrup Lucky bird that Tweetsy. He got run over by an airship and gets 510, 000 damages. A WELCOME TO THE SUMMER GIRL. r