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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 21, 1902)
30 THE SUNDAY QBEGONIAN, ""PORTLAND,, gEPTEMBBB 21, 1002. ALL ABOUT HAVRE jT THE GREAT PORT AT THE MOUTH OF THE SEINE FRANCE'S GATEWACj TO THE OCEAN XTXEXCU HAVRE, France, Sept. 4. I have crossed from. England to Prance, and am now In the City of "Havre, the great port on the English Channel at the mouth of the Seine. This la one of tho most Important commercial points of North Europe. It la the gateway from the Atlantic, not only to Paris and France, hut to Switzerland and South-western Ger many, and for many classes of goods to Holland and Belgium as well. It vies with Marseilles as the chief port of. the French, and It Is the chief landing-place of the American Invasion. Last year about 4,000, ' 000 tons of goods were leaded or die charged here. Three-fourths of all the cotton which we ship to France comes to Havre, and also the hulk of our machin ery, breadstuffs and notions. Tlie Biff French, Market. Eefore I describe Havre let me give you a bird's-eye glimpse of this land of the French to show you that it Is well worth your consideration In pushing your trade. "We are apt to look upon the European states a3 comparatively email, and the average American does not realize their population and wealth. France Is no six-by-nine province, either In area or richness. She Is one of the largest countries of Europe. She is more than four times as "big as New York or Pennsylvania, Ave times aa big as Ohio, and over 20 times the size of Maryland. "With a single exception, of Texas, we have no state as large, and none, I ven ture, which is uniformly so rich In Its agricultural products. France has some of the richest soil of Europe, and almost every bit of it Is good land. It ranks next to Germany, Austria-Hungary and Russia in area, and Its people are the thriftiest of the whole European Conti nent. French Farmers Are Rich. The population of France la more than 38,000,000, or about half as large as that of the United States. It has only about 3,000,000 less people than Great Britain and Ireland, hut there the country Is owned by the Lords and the rich. It Is one of vast estates, and the most of it Is pasture rath er than cultivated farms. Indeed, all tho OF IMTE-REST TO WOMEN numeration if she should get them de sirable tenants. Before long her work grew compara tively easy: She became perfectly 'ac quainted with many parts of the city, and J could generally tell where to go to find the required accommodations. Then sho fhas now many orders on hand, and can Tvorfc up a number at once. ' This house-hunter sever recommends a place until she has personally visited it She takes notes as she inspects, and writes a full description of every house or apartment noting not only the interior, put the outlook, both rear and front; the iielghborhood, and the names of the Nearest neighbors. Once she has decided ;on a number of those which will most likely suit a patron, she takes the writ ten descriptions to her in person, talks !them over with her, and tries to, make the houses which the lady will finally Jiave to visit in person as low as possible. Her house-hunting succeeded so well that this Spring, the woman opened a :new department in connection with her regular work, namely, a "Summer resort directory." Here she caters mostly to people of more moderate circumstances, to whom reasonable accommodations are a matter of Importance, and who have not the time or money to travel around to pick and choose for themselves. In this department payment of a dollar entitles anyone to detailed and unbiased Information about every resort on her list She not only gives the number of hotels, the price and size of tho cottages for rent amusements, fares, trains to and fro, etc, but lists of the guests at the hotels during the last season, and the names of the principal cottagers were provided. As the season progressed the newspaper lists of people at present there were kept on file. This season .the wo man's list of resorts "was not large, since she would offer no place which she had not personally Inspected. The success of the experiment has encouraged her to contiue this novel directory next year, however, injarger form. A CHAPTER OX TOMATOES. Ralf-a-Dozen Recipes "Which "Will Be Found Timely. THE tomato which is now to be had so perfect and so cheap is a most de sirable vegetable. You can make so many good things with tomatoes. As a vege table to accompany roasts or fish they may be served stewed, baked, fried, scal loped or raw. Ae a salad there are infinite combinations that make them a popular vegetable from the time wo get them at three for a quarter -up to late In the eeason. when a box can be bought for the eame price. Then as sweet pickle pre serves, catsup and various relishes, what an addition to her store of Winter sup plies the skillful housewife can make by a Judicious use of tomatoes. To peel to matoes, put them Into a frying basket -i JU.-f " & - STEAMER FROM JTEW YORK HXTEREVG farm lands of the United Kingdom are held by about 19,000 men. In France there are more than 8,500,000 landowners, and the average holding la leas than six acres. Tho French farmers have always made money. They know how to till the soil as well as, if not better than, any other people on earth, and they till it so -well that they practically support and feed themselves. They raise moro than 300, 000,000 bushels of wheat every year, and it is only when their crop Is short that they have to Import breadstuffs from us. About four men out of every 10 are en gaged in farming, and it is estimated that one-fifth of all the French earnings come from the soli. France grows more wheat in proportion to its population than any European nation except Russia. Her land has be$n farmed hundreds of years, but by careful culture it still yields far more per acre than ours. Intensive farming is carried on almost everywhere. There are market gardens scattered throughout Northern France which ship their products- to England. I caw loads of French vegetables In the markets of London, and when I was at Manchester last Spring the ships were starting out for the Channel Islands and Northern France for new potatoes. About 30,000,000 pounds of potatoes are annually shipped from Cherbourg to London, and the first of the crop comes on as early as February, the potatoes being raised under glass. In all France It is estimated that more than 1,000,000 acres are devoted to market gardening, and that the average yieldxper acre Is more than $157 per annum. There is an early vegetable farm of ISO acres near Cherbourg that brings in $14,000 a year. It is such culture that creates the demand for our plows, cultivators and the smaller form tools. "Woolen Stockings of France. The farmers of France have always been noted for their thrift. They are good cus tomers, because they can pay for what they "buy. Nearly every peasant, man or woman, has money in the savings bank or In stocks, or hidden away somewhwe in an old woolen stocking. "When De Lesseps was pouring millions into tho Panama Canal he was asked where the money came from He re plied: "From the woolen stockings of France, where there are still hundreds of HOUSE-HUNTING FOR A LIVING jr CHAPTER ON TOMATOES jT TIMELY RECIPES sr CONTINUED FROKf PAGE 28 and plunge them Into hot water for three or four minutes. Drain and peeL An other way is to place them in a hot oven for about five minutes; thia loosens the skins so they readily slip off. Scalloped Tomatoes. Butter- the sides and bottom of a pud ding dish. Put a layer of bread crumbs in the bottom; on them put a layer of sliced tomatoes; sprinkle with salt, pepper and some bits of butter, and a very little white sugar. Then repeat with another layer of crumbs, another of tomato and seasoning untlj. full, having the top layer of siloes of tomato, with bits of butter on each. Bake covered, until well cooked through; remove the cover and brown quickly. Stuffed Baked Tomatoes. Cut a slice from the stem of each and scoop out the soft pulp. Mince one small onion and. fry it slightly; add a gill of hot wator, the tomato pulp, and two ounces of cold veal or chicken, chopped fine; simmer slowly and season with salt and pepper. .Stir into the pan cracker dust or bread crumbs enough to absorb the moisture; toko off from the fire and let It cool; stuff the tomatoes with this mass, sprinkle dry crumbs over the top; add a small piece of butter to the top of each and bake until slightly browned on top.- Fried Tomatoes. Cut firm, largo, ripe tomatoes Into thick slices, rather more than a quarter of an Inch thick; season with salt and pepper, dredge well with flour or roll in egg and crumbs, and fry them brown on both sides evenly in hot butter and lard mixed. Tomato Cntxup. Boll one-half bushel ripe tomatoes, put aside and when cool enough to handle rub through a sieve until nothing but skin remains. To what goes through add two scant teacupfuls of salt, about four table spoons each of pure ground allspice and cloves and cinnamon, a teacup of sugar If liked. Spice and sugar should always bo added to taste. At the last add a quart of elder vinegar, then return to the fire and simmer for an hour; if the tomatoes are watery, boll more than an hour; if too thick, add more vinegar. Preserved Green Tomatoes. Take one peck of green tomatoes; slice six frceh lemons without removing the skins but taking out the seeds; put to this quantity six pounds of common white sugar and boll until transparent and the syrup thick. Ginger root may be added, if liked. Green Tomato Pickle. One peck of green tbmatoes; slice' in half-Inch thickness, sprinkle with altf in layers as you put them In your kettle; let them stand over night; turn off the brine, cover with water, to which has been added a cup of vinegar, and scald thor oughly; then drain thern, Take a quart of vinegar, three pounds of brown sugar. iiv .v-.. -r- HAVRE. minions more." It waa these fame stock ing hoards that paid the cost of the Franco-German War, the greatest pay ment ever made by one nation to nn- t other. The cost of the war and of th Indemnity amounted to more than $2,000, 000,000. The government Issued bonds, and the peasant farmers of France brought out their stockings and bought them. Since then the&O RtrvoVlncra hm- nln j become full, and, although France has a "ttuouai aem or almost $7,000,000,000, It is held by Its own people. They receive the interest, and they have millions upon mil lions to spend for what they want, whether it be furnished by Great Britain, Germany, America or themselves. The people live as well as any people In the world. They dress well and spend well, and In wants they furnish a possible mar- T??19 63 ffreat as a11 China, with its 00,000,000 people. "What the French Bay. Indeed, the French stand high among tho purchasing nations. Their imports amount to over $2,000,000 a day, or to more than $350,000,000 a year. This is over $400, 000000 more than our total Importations, and the bulk of the money goes to tho European nations, although our trade is slowly and steadily Increasing. It has gained about $18,000,000 in 10 years, while if0 gflJn GrefLt Britain and Ireland has been 13 times as much. One reason for this1 ia that the French aro in many things like the Americans. They 6how as much taste in finishing their manufactures as they do in making fancy hats and dresses; they are a race or Inventors, and hence American novelties are not in so great demand. They be lieve also in trade protection, and the government contracts often specify that the materials used shall be of French manufacture. Nevertheless, the market Is a most valuable one, and one that can be worked with great profit Something of what is now being done will be seen as I take you through the city of Havre. A Look at Havre. Havre Is a typical French seaport Its streets are wide, its houses bright and sunny, it has open places and gardens In the heart of the town, and its docks are great stone structures with all modern conveniences for loading and discharging goods. The town has existed since the a teaspoon each of mustard seed, allspice, cloves, clnnaman, ginger and pepper; scald all together, then put In the toma toes and boll for 10 minutes. DELICIOUS SWEET CORX DISHES. A Combination "With Tomatoes That In Recommended. NO combination of flavors Is more de lightful than green corn and toma toes, and now that the latter are to be had large and ripe at low price, they may be served together in a novel and appe tizing form. Either corn from the cob or a tender, canned-variety may be used, scoop out enough of the Interior of large, ripe, even-sized tomatoes to leave a suffi ciently thick skin. To each half pint of corn pulp (If corn Is canned, chop fine and remove hard parts) add half teaspoonful of salt two tablespoonfuls of milk, a dash of pepper, simmer for 10 minutes, fill Into the tomato cases, put a bit of butter on top, put on a flat pan In a quick oven and bake for about half an hour. If more to mato flavor is liked, use a little of the pulp, which should be reserved for a sep arate dish. In this casa add sugar, and unless the corn Is very sweet, a little .will be an improvement. Use only young, ten der corn and rich, ripe tomatoes. Green Corn Pudding. Baked brown and served hot with roast meat or poultry, the corn, young and either chopped fine if canned, or grated from the cob, the following Is a perfect dish: To a pint of corn pulp allow the same of milk, four beaten eggs, a email teaspoonful of salt, a dust of pepper, a teaspoonful of sugar and a little chopped parsley. If liked. Bake half an hour in a buttered dish. To vary this dish, add another egg to the above, and bake In buttered cup stood in a pan of water; turn out and serve with a cream sauce or with tomatoes in any way preferred. Those who have not tried chopping canned corn before using will scarcely believe the improvement in tenderness It makes; also a wtee use of sugar either with corn or tomatoes adds richness. Its presence should, however, never be detected. Fairy Corn Bread. Made with green corn, baked In a dish and served in light, puffy slices, the fol lowing is a dainty breakfast or luncheon dish. To each cupful of corn pulp (grated or chopped) allow a cupful of milk and cook for 10 minutes in double boiler; remove and add a tablespoonful of butter; beat two egps separately, stir a cup of milk in the yolks, mix together, then slf in a cupful of yellow corn meal mixed with a teaspoonful of baking "pow der, beat well, and Just before pouring the whole Into a buttered baking dish, etir in the stiffened whites. Bake three-quarters of an hour in a steady oven. Delicious Home-Made Syrnp. Every one knows that the flavor of lem on with sugar is delightful with hot griddle cakes, and this fact may be utilized If the syrup Jug is found empty Just at meal days of the Romans, and it has always been an Important commercial center. The United States had a conaulato here as far back as 1800, and today our consulate, situated on th Place Gambette, in the heart of the city, does about as much business as any other. Havre now has about 120,000 people. The town He3 right on the sea, with high lands on the east and the Seine on the west In coming here from Southampton my first sight was the abrupt cliffs on the left of the city. When wo came a little nearer I could see the masts of the ships inside the docks and then the low buildings which border the shore. There Is a series of fortifications with frowning canon facing the sea which guards the en trance, and you steam in between great stone quays of docks, Just wide enough for two Atlantic liners to pass In or out at the same time. Passing through, we found ourselves In a great basin which has five entrances to other basins or Inclosed docks. Indeed, the docks extend on and on with gate ways between them permeating almost every part of the city. There are many acres of them, so made that the ships can Kill right up to the warehouses and discharge their goods, and so that good3 can be put upon the railroads or on the canals for all parts of France. There Is one dock In the very heart of the town facing the Place Gambetta, Thl3 ia reserved for yachts, and there were a score or more of stoam yachts lying in it when I visited It this afternoon. One of these belongs to the Baron Rotchschild and another is, I am told, the property of one of the Vanderbllts. Slsrna of the American Invasion. The first sign I saw of the American in vasion was one of tho transatlantic liners coming In. from New York loaded with American petroleum, agricultural machin ery and cotton. As we came to tho quay I saw a well-known brand of Akron, oats advertised cn the walls of a building that must have been a century old, and in walking to the Hotel Frascati I passed an office In which an American typewriter was clicking away. Later on I called at the consulate, and in company with Mr. A. M. Thackara, who in Uncle Sam's representative here, took a drive of several miles, going from one dock to another, and stopping at the vari ous places where steamers were unload ing American goods. At the transatlantic quay we visited a warehouse as large as any In the city of New York. It was packed to the top with boxes nnd bales from different parts of the United Statea I saw American plows unloaded from one of tho Atlantic liners and outside were reapers, mowers and all sorts of farm tools of well-known American brands. There was a large ship ment from the Dcering Harvesting Com pany of Chicago; there were -many Mc Cormick reapers, a quantity of wheels and tongues In separate packages, and also some iron hay rakes to be run by horse power. Acres of Cottoa. At another Sock I found the wharves covered with bales of American cotton. There were many thousands of these, cov ering an area of several acres. They were lying on the stones out In tho sun. The cotton was poorly packed; some of the bales wero open and tho white wool seemed to be bursting out in every di rection. I hear complaints everywhere about tho poor packing of our merchan dise; and especially about the poorly packed cotton. Complaints are common at Manchester and Liverpool, and unfav orable comparisons are made as to our shippers and those of India and Egypt The custom officers were sampling the bales while I passed through the cotton wharves. They opened each bale and took out a bundle In order to assess the duty upon it. They did their work well, but it seemed to me that the amount of cotton removed was unnecessarily large. The hauling of the cotton from one part of the wharves to another is. done by Perchcron horses, t finer than any horses employed about the wharves of New York. I saw one hauling 15 cotton bales which must have weighed on the average 00 pounds each, and I find that the usual French load for one horse Is from three to five tons. In the country one horse Is expected to haul at least three tons, and this Is so throughout north France. The horses are well kept and are apparently no worse for such loads. They compare time. A cheap and delicious home-made article may be made In a few moments thus: Boll together until slightly thick half a pint of granulated sugar with quarter the amount of water, skim, then add a tablespoonful of butter, the carefully grated yellow rind only, and the Juice of a large lemon. As soon as tho butter melts, stir well and serve. A little stick of cinnamon boiled with the sugar and water (from Ave to eight minutes) and removed before serving, is ij. nice addi tion when used for waffles. One of the most interesting members of the party of Boers with the Generals who went to Kngland and have been over to see Mr. Krugrer on the Continent was little Louis Botha, the boy of 11, who has probably eeen more flght injf than any other human being of his age. The child is called the "boy veteran," and has Just been placed in school at Brussels, where everybody takes him for an English boy. He talks English perfectly. S 31 ART AUTUMN HATS. ACRES OF COTTOIf ON HAVRE SOCK. f i I . J favorably with the Clydesdale and Shire horses which I described In my tellers from Liverpool, and they will haul about as large loads. The streets along the Havre docks are paved with cobbles, and as far as I can see they are no better than sim ilar streets In New York. In the coun try the roads are macadamized. You can drive for hundreds of miles and not find a rough place, so that the horses can haul great loads. Nearly all the hauling here Is done upon one-horse carts. If there is a second horso It goes In front of the one in the shafts, three and four-horse teams sometimes be ing so hitched up tandem. The carts have flat beds about 15 feet long and three feet wide, with shafts about half the thickness of telegraph poles. The shafts are on hinges, and the loads are raised and low ered by means of a windlass where the shafts Join and on the left of the cart. This windlass also binds ropes about the loads to hold them on. The wheels are about as high as the hind wheels of a farm wagon, and the average cart itself will weigh, I should think, about a ton. All weights are estimated- In kilograms, and I was shown loads which I was told weighed as much as 5000 kilograms hauled by one horse. It Is roughly estimated that 1000 kilograms equal one ton. Some Q,necr American Exports. Among the curious exports I see here ore dried apples from New York and corn oil cake from Chicago. The dried apples are used for making French cider and are brought here from America for that pur pose. France takes something like 11,000, 000 pounds of such apples every year. The cider made from them Is sold at all the restaurants and cafes. It costs but a few cents a glass, and is better than any hard cider I have ever tasted in the United States. The corn oil cake is a refuse of our Indian corn after the oil has been squeezed out of It It Is used for feeding, as is also American cotton seed meal and oil cake. The corn cake I saw came from Chicago Another of our queer exports which is now coming to Havre is Camembert cheese. This Is surprising to the French, for they consider this cheese one of their specialties, and It Is only within a few mllca of this port that the most of their product is made. Havre is one of the largest wood mar TH-REE FABLES By GEORGE ADE HOUSEHOLD MUSIC r THE WOMAN WHO STUDIED HER HUSBAND jr RESCUE LEAGUE THAT FAILED ONE Evening a little Flock of Our Best People got together at the Home of a Lady who invariably was first ever the Fence In the Mad Pursuit of Culture. She loved to fill her Front Rooms with Folks who wore 7 Hats and read Norwegian Novels that no one else ever heard anything about On the Evening already mentioned she had a Cluster of Geniuses on hand. They were expected to Talk for a couple of Hours, so as to work up an Appetite for Neapolitan Ice Cream and Lady Fingers. In the course of time they got around to tho Topic of Modern Music. All agreed kets of Europe. I saw vast quantities of wood of all kinds during my trip about the wharves. From one ship they were discharging mahogany logs about 30 feet long and two feet square, and from an other they were taking off vast quanti ties of logwood for use In the dye fac tories of France. I saw considerable American oak and pine and Consul Thack ara tells me that such shipments might be greatly Increased if our people were more careful In their sawing. The French customs laws permit the free entry for cabinet-making of wood which is eight Inches or more in thickness. Owing to our poor sawing, the American wood of tec arrives a shade under this size, and the man who orders it has to pay the duty. The result is he stopa at one order. There is also a good demand for our oak hoards and planks, provided they are sawn to the right thickness, but at present the Austrian wood Is crowding the American wood out because It is better seasoned and more carefully pre pared. American Machinery in France. I am surprised at the amount of Ameri can machinery I see about the docks. The warehouses are full of It and the streets outside are blocked by It In ad dition to farm Implements there are packages of carpet-sweepers, meatgrlnd ers and ice-cream freezers. There are also large Importations of electrical ma chinery, and within the past few years the "VVestlnghousa Company has estab lished a factory at Havre to supply the French market It has a large building on the edge of the city where a number of bright young Americans superintend the Frenchmen who do the rough work. The company has a French name, being entitled the "Soclete Industrielle d'Elec trlcite, Procedes Westlnghouse." Its capital Is 10,000,000 francs, or about $2, 000,000. How to Work the French Market. During my ride about the wharves with Consul Thackara I asked him to give me some points for American shippers.' Ho replied that the market Is not properly understood by more than 50 of our lead ing American firms. "These firms." said Mr. Thackara, "have thoroughly studied the subject They have their own agents on the ground .and have systematized their busi ness after the French methods. They that the Music which seemed to catch on with the low-browed Public was exceed ingly punky. They rather fancied "Par sifal" and were willing to concede that Vogner made good In Spots, but Mascagnl they branded as a Crab. Aa for Victor Herbert and J. P. Sousa back to the Water Tanks! A little later in the Game the Conver sation began to Sag and It was suggested that they have Something on the Piano. They gathered around the Stack of Music and then Vogner went into the Discard and Puccini fell to the Floor unnoticed and the Classics did not get a Hand. But they gave a Yelp of Joy when they spotted a dear little Cantata about a Coon who carried a Razor and had trouble with hla "Wife. They sang the Chorus 38 times and the Young Lady wore out both "Wrists doing Ragtime. Moral It Is proper to enjoy the Cheaper Grades of Art. but they should not be formally Indorsed. Of the Woman Who Made a Stndy of Her Husband. ONCE there was a Woman who enter tained her Friends by delivering Lec tures on the Insect seated at the opposite end of the Table. I To the General Public this Husband was a plain everyday Scrub without any Char acteristic Trait of any Particular Kind, as our old Friend and Roommate, Mr. Gil bert, would have expressed It The Woman who had to put up with him seven days a Week had found out a great maTfty Things about him. She could tell at least a thousand Anecdotes to prove that he was the most eccentric, absent minded, careless, short-sighted Ninny that ever committed Matrimony. Nearly every Remark that was made suggested to her a little Story regarding one of Henry's Star Breaks. Henry always forgot to mall any Letters given to him. Henry was a Noodle when It came to matching Dress Gooda Henry always allowed the Butcher to give him the Short End of It Henry was a Mark for Book Agents. Henry would be lost If he didn't have some one to put the Studs In his Shirt and lay out his Clothes for him. Henry couldn't remember Two Minutes where he had put anything. Henry was forever bringing most peculiar Peo ple home to Dinner. Henry had the tack iest lot of Friends she had ever seen. Henry had been Engaged at one time to the dizziest-looking Thing. Henry seemed to be a perfect Slave to Tobacco. And so on. The Horrible Example would eit and listen to these Disclosures and he would gradually wither away until he felt about Four Pounds lighter than Smoke. One Evening after she had publicly dissected him and turned the 'Strong" Light on all of his Idiosyncrasies old Henry revolted. "I may be an Onion and I know I'm feeble-minded, and I suppose I need a Guardian," he said, rumpling up his Hair, "but you want to remember a few Things. You Jumped eight feet to nail me when I slipped you the Proposition. And this pack their goods as the French want them, and are willing to accept the usual terms of credit. The French have been accustomed to receiving such terms from, the English and Germans, and if Ameri cans will not give the eame terms they refuse to deal with them. The averago American wants his money In advance, or on receipt of the goods, but this will not do in the majority of Instances here. "Many of our shippers are sending cata logues of machinery and other American products printed In English," continued Mr. Thackara. "Such catalogues go Into the waste baskets, for the average custo mer cannot read them. They should bo printed In French, and all measures should be In the French metric system, and prices preferably In French money. "Some of our houses are sending travel ers Into France. This Is very well If the man understands the French language. If not, he had better be kept at home and a French agent employed. An agent should not be expected to cover any .more terri tory here than he would be required to cover In the United States, and when for eign agents are employed, representatives from the home offices should visit them at least once a year. I don't think our ship pers appreciate the possibilities of the French market. These people spend a vast deal of money every year for foreign goods, and the bulk of their Imports aro from other parts of Europe. American goods are popular, and especially Ameri can machinery and American tools. I hopo that there will be a great increase' in our trade with Franco with the Increase in our shipping, and that we will now regulari ses American ships In this harbor. At present we get quantities of American goods, but they all come in vessels under foreign flags. I have been in office here for five years, and I have seen only threo American flags flying from American steamers during thnt time." The Port of Cherliourpr. In closing this letter I will say a word about Cherbourg, the French port whero the American Line, the North German Lloyd, the Hamburg-American and others of the big ocean steamers stop on their way to New York. It is not an Important commercial point, being little more than a port of call for passengers. It is a mili tary and naval station, and will always be such. Havre is the chief business port, and it will continue to be our gateway to France. FRANK G. CARPENTER. (Copyright. 1902.) THE tottering Intellect has managed to fix you up with more Tailor-Mades and PIcturo Hats than your whole Family ever saw before." "Why. Henry Dear!" she exclaimed, "I do believe you are peevish. If I talk about you all the time It Is because you are all the World to me. I haven't a Thought of any one else. A Woman can't really lovo a Man unless she gives him a good Dig every two or three Minutes." Moral The Husband who Is Toasted should feel Encouraged. Of the Rescue Lcagac That Ifevei? Materialized. SEVERAL Ladles of the Dun and Brad street Aristocracy received an Invi tation one Day to chip In on a new and glorious Movement. They had a little Club, organized to do Good, and no Woman could break In unless her Pearls were as largo as Hickory Nuts. One Day a genuine Philanthropist ap peared at a meeting of the Club and put In a hot Plea for some persecuted and neglected Children that he had lately dis covered. "I know that you are sitting up Nights trying to think up Schemes for helping the Dumb Animals and the Waifs, and that Is why I desire to put you next to some poor little Tikes who are being cut out of nearly All that makes Life worth living for the average KIdlet We have right in this cruel City a lot of Children who never had the Fun of getting out In a Vacant Lot and playing House with a Store Box and some broken Dishes. They never ran Barefoot so that they could squldge the Mud between their Toes, tho one True Pleasure on which the Gods hava set no heavy Price. They never went Fishing In their lives and the poor little Boys never went swimming in a Crick and got their scanty Wardrobes tied into Hard Knots. The unhappy Children to whom I refer are confined in large Stone Houses where they are condemned to a constant association with frozen-faced English Ser vants and the Governess who got the Po sition because she was a Chromo. The Grlpman's Offspring may watch Mother hang out' the Wash and see Father sail by on the down-town Car, but the Lit tle Ones for whom I am pleading get a peek at their Parents about once per Week and In preparation for this Ceremo nial they are dressed up until they can't sit down. They never play Hookey be cause they are not permitted to go near the Public Schools and the History of the United States is locked away from them for fear they may find out that all Kids are created equal. Unless we do something to rescue these unhappy Youngsters, I fear that the Girls will grow up with a perverted Preference for busted Princes and the Boys will sit around all their Lives, apologizing for their Native Land." That was the End of the Speech, for he was the only one left In the Room. MORAL: The Rescue Movements nev er begin at Home. (Copyrighted, 1902.)