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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (June 10, 1900)
THE SUNDAY OEEQONlAN, POBTLAITD, JTJOT 10, 1900. to regamcm Tftrturd at the Postofflce at Portland, Oregcs, m second-class matter. TELEPHONES. MltorUl Rooms.... 16G Business OSc 6S7 REVISED -SUBSCRIPTION RATES. By Mall (postage prepaid), la Advance ally, xrltb Sunday, per month .....f0 85 ally, Sunday exrepted. per year.... T 59 ally, with Sunday, per year 8 09 Sunday, per year 2 00 The Weekly, per year... ........ 1 50 The "Weekly. 3 months 50 To City Subscribers Dally, per week, delivered, Sundays excepted.lGo Dally, per week, delivered, Sundays lncluded.203 News or discussion Intended for publication la She Oregon Ian should be addressed Invariably Editor The Oregonlan," not to the name cf siy Individual. Letters relating: to advertising, ubscriptlons or to any business matter should fee addressed simply "The Oregonlan." The Oregonlan does not buy poems or stories Erom Individuals, and cannot undertake to re turn any manuscripts sent to It without solicita tion. Jio stamps mould be inclosed Tor this pur pose. Fuget Sound Bureau Captain A. Thompson, fflce at 1111 Pacific avenue. Tacoma. Box 055, Kacoma Postofflce. Eastern Business Office The Tribune building. JKew Tork city; "The Rookery," Chicago; the 8. C. Beckwlth special agency. New Tork. Ttt sale In San Francisco by J. K. Cooper, 746 laarket street, near the Palace hotel, and at Goldsmith Bros.. 236 Sutter street. For sale in Chicago by the P. O. News Co, Q7 Dearborn strret. TODATS "WEATHER. Fair and continued fcrarm; northerly winds. 4 JPORTX.AXD, SUNDAY, JUKE 10, 1000. r The seamy side of colonization vexed the souls of conservatives 150 years go, Just as it does today. Doubtless we should have to go farther back than this for the first rude beginning of anti-imperialism, for the same Hebrew reign that extended Israel's dominion to its widest bounds leftg-us the sol temn adjuration "Remove not the an cient landmark." But to come dpwn to the eighteenth century, we find the famous Abbe Raynal publishing in 1770 his "Philosophical and Political History of the Establishments and Commerce of the Europeans In the two Indies." The book was in ten volumes in the last one of which the good Abbe asks K the question, "What is all tills worth?" (tus conclusion is, j.ouun&, wui&e tuau nothing. The world would have been much better off if America had. never teen discovered, and the ocean route to iasla had remained unknown. Another exemplary anti-Imperialist was the Abbe Genty, who published at lOrleans in 1787 an elaborate essay, in two volumes, entitled, "The Influence of the Discovery of America Upon the Happiness of the Human Race." The influence, he concluded, had been al most wholly bad. He drew a moving picture of the butchery and humilia tion of the Agulnaldos of those days, and expatiated upon the "slaughter there had been of Innocent and hlgh xnlnded red men by brutal and ruthlesi Whites," as Mr. John Fiske, the his torian, puts It. Then he showed how Colonial empire had plunged Europe Jn war, and made out quite a case for himself, as every reader of Europe's eighteenth century annals can readily imagine. Not to leave a single thing lacking in the parallel with anti-imperialism of 1900, Abbe Genty concluded that ncrainst such undeniable evils co lonial empire had no benefit to offer but the extension of commerce, and that. i observed, means merely the muiu Tjlicntion of human wants, which is not n itself a thing to be desired. It would bo a waste of time to argue How whether the discovery of America bad profited mankind more than in jured, for the things that Raynal and Genty weighed in the balance would cet little attention from the modern xnind, in view of the tremendous fact 'America is today in the material, in tellectual and moral world. To com pare the benefits of corn and quinine with the baneful influence of tobacco iwas seriously undertaken then, but jwould be considered beneath notice to Iday; and so would all the complex benefits and miseries that have grown tip about Europe's relations to the New "World. It is enough for us to know that here the overcrowded Old World bas found room and asylum, a garden for its sustenance, a market for Its handiwork. It is not a -violent assump tion that in time to come the exten sion of American dominion to the Islands of the two Indies will be looked upon with the same satisfaction the occupation of North America is re garded now, and the world may live to ee Luzon and Cuba sending to the mother country defenders in some great struggle. Just as India, Canada and Australia have rallied to the sup port of Brltalns against the Boers. But perhaps the one essential thins iCor our anti-imperialists to observe tg that whatever their protests, how rea- sonably based or stoutly maintained, 8 are alike futile. They can remonstrate If they like, or petition, or plead, or gef mad and call names. This will tend to relieve their feelings and is pretty ceJ tain to induce a wholesome caution.-! the administrative details of expansion. But there is very little precedent for or hope of staying the progress of English-speaking peoples. Theories and convictions, however sagaciously based r with, fortitude defended, have to grve "way to the march of events. Theories have to be qualified and convictions made over. This is Just what our antis have been doing all along. Not that they know it. Probably a good many share Senator Teller's Idea that nobody ever advocated the abandonment of the Philippines. "A republic" declares Mr. Bryan, sen tentlously, "can have no subjects, ebich. is correct enough in so far as it doesn't contravene the simple fact that all the citizens of a republic are its sub. Jects. Itx. Bryan's article In the North "American Review contains one sen tence that answers all his fulmlnations against the trusts. He says: la other words, the legislation necessary at this time must be directed against private mo nopoly In whatever form it appears. That is to say, an individual, part nership or corporation, no matter which, invested with monopolistic priv Uegse, should be proceeded against. But the Bryan contention is simply to destroy trusts, because they are trusts. He goes through the land shrieking, aut the trusts, but if he could get his Mill and destroy them all, the indlvid- txal monopoly, or the partnership mo- aopoly, or the monopoly held by a cor poration not a trust, would be left un . touched. If Bryan would oppose injus- be because it is injustice, and oppose tbuses because they are abuses, he jht get something done. But when I hi inf!pli nmlrt i-ne. rfi-rrlw no the &?ents of the Money Power, It la not surprising- he becomes ridiculous. ICO XTTE FOR HISTORICAL PROPOR TION. TheodoreRoosevelt,in the May Scrlb ner, shows his utter lack of the sense of historic proportion when he institutes a comparison between Lincoln's conduct Just before his second election, in 1SG4, and that of Cromwell to the disparage ment Of the latter. Roosevelt armies r that it was infinitely more essential to me salvation of the Union that Lincoln should be continued in power than it was to the Ealvatlon of the English commonwealth In 1654 that Cromwell should be. continued In power; that Lin coln wemBp have been far more excusa ble thfen 'Cromwell If he had Insisted uon keeping control. Several great Englishmen have carefully searched th history of Cromwell and his times, and their conclusions do not Justify this depreciation of Cromwell and serve to mako clear that the emergen ciesrwhlch confronted these great men and the stress, social, political and re ligions, which convulsed their times. werj so absolutely different that any attempt to compare the crisis before Lincoln and that before Cromwell is without Justification. To Illustrate, let us take the testimony of the very great est and purest and most enlightened man cf Cromwell's times, John Milton, poet, scholar, advanced political and re ligious thinker, champion of a free press and liberal divorce, who was not a Puritan, not a free-thinker, but rather an Arian, not a Royalist. Mil ton, Cromwell's secretary, described him as a great statesman, a great sol dier, a true lover of his country, a mer ciful and generous conqueror, who was enforced to do many things which Jumped not with his inclination, nor made for his honor, because the army, on which alone he could depend for power and life, might not otherwise be contented. Milton fairly said that they who mix with men, and especially they who gov ern them, must in many' things obey them. They who will yield to no such conditions may be hermits, but cannot be generals and statesmen. Cromwell gave to his country a form of govern ment so free and admirable that before his time human wisdom had never de vised any more excellent contrivance for human happiness. To himself he reserved so little power that it would scarcely have sufficed for his safety, and it was a marvel that it sufficed for his ambition. When he found out that the members of his Parliament-' dis puted his right to the small authority he kept, then he began to govern by the sword those who would not suffer him to govern by the law. What sov ereign was ever more princely In par doning injuries, in conquering enemies, in extending the dominions and renown of his people? War never troubled husbandry or commerce, never silenced the song of the reapers or the sound of the looms. Justice was equally admin istered; God was freely worshiped. Cromwell never coveted despotic power; he never deserted the Parlia ment till it had deserted its duty. He did not dissolve it by force until he found Its members were desirous to ap propriate to themselves a power they held in trust and to Inflict on England thecurse of a Venetian oligarchy. And when at the head of affairs he did not assume unlimited power; he gave the country a constitution better than any which at that time had been known In the world. He reformed the representa tive system so ably as to extprt the" praise of tie royalist historian, Claren don. While he demanded for himself the first place in the commonwealth, It was with powers scarcely so great as those of the President of our United Stales. He gave the Parliament a voice in the appointment of ministers, and left to It the whole legislative authority, not even reserving to himself a veto on its enactments, and he did not require that the chief magistracy should be hereditary in his family. Macaulay holds that thus far. If the circum stances of the time and the opportuni ties for personal aggrandizement be considered, Cromwell will not lose by comparison with Washington. But he was driven out of the noble course he had marked for himself Into a more arbitrary policy by the Irresistible force of circumstances, for the violence of religious and political enmities was such that the choice lay, not between Crorqwell and liberty, but between Cronjwell and the Stuarts. Never be fore Cromwell had religious liberty and freedom of discussion been enjoyed in a greater, degree, or seat of Justice been better filled at home. For the first time in over 300 years the edict of Ed waroj I expelling the Jews was abro gated for the first time the nlerleal J blg)ts of Scotland were prohibited Irom craft. Cromwell rose above the icono olastid madness of the Parliament, which destroyed or ordered sold the magnificent art gallery of Charles I, anil by personal purchase rescued a portion of the famous cartoons of Ra phael and preserved them to England. To Cromwell belongs the glory of be ing the first English statesman to plead lor Che abatement of the laws which ln- UjiJeted capital punishment for minor of- and pardon murder," Cromwell de clared was "wicked, abominable law." L Macaulay, and after him Green, held that while Cromwell was sometimes dflven for the safety of the state to arbitrary measures, he had a high, stout, honest English heart, and be cause he had it it was that he allowed so large a share of political liberty to his subjects, and that even when he was compelled to govern by the sword, he was still anxious to leave a germ from which at a more favorable season free institutions might spring. In other words, Cromwell's first purpose was to save the state, give It peace, order, tol erance and tranquillity: constitution ally if he could, but forcibly If he must, before he would suffer it to drift Into factional, ecclesiastical anarchy and misrule. Of his severity during his Irish cam paigns, it was according to the rule of war, which was recognized as late as the day of Wellington, who In dis patches concerning the loss of 5000 men it cost him to storm Badajoz, writes that if he had given the French garri son no quarter at Cludad Rodrigo, he would -not have had them to fight at Badajoz. The rule of war up to Wel lington's day was that the garrison of a town that refused to surrender and forced the enemy to the carnage of an assault was entitled to no quarter. Cromwell was as humane in spirit as Wellington, and as humane In action as Protestant heroes of the Thirty Tears' War. Cromwell must be measured, as Napoleon Is and as Lincoln is sure to be. by the nature of the problem before him, by the wisdom and effective statesmanship with which he solved it, and by the spirit and temper of his en vironment. Measuring In this way, Mil ton is Justified in his admiration of Cromwell as a man who won power nobly and used it with magnanimity, moderation and tolerance, to the end of maintaining Justice under law and glor ious peace with honor. PROSPERITY OF LABOR. Sheep-shearers east of the Cascade Mountains are reported to be earning from S to $12 per day. Quite a num ber of fishermen at the mouth of the river have sold over $500 worth of sal man, each, with the season not yet two months old. There has been a scarcity of longshoremen and stevedores at 40 and 50 cents per hour in this city, and railroad hands, loggers and laborers of all kinds are in demand all over the Northwest, at better prices than they have been paid for several years. Ser vant girls find a demand far exceeding the supply, and even at wages nearly double those prevailing a few years ago it is impossible to secure female help. This latter feature of the strong labor market is undoubtedly one of the results of the Improved demand and better prices for male labor. With low wages and irregular work, many a poor man who would gladly have done other wise has been obliged to see his daugh ter go forth as a wage-earner, thus helping to bear the burden which had become too great for the head of the family. Owing, to the Improved finan cial situation, this is no longer neces sary in many cases, and the whilom servant girl has returned to her home to take some of the burdens from the shoulders of her mother. In doing this she has immeasurably improved the condition of her unfortunate sister who has no home to which she can return, and who Is still dependent on a "place" as a means of livelihood. Supply and demand govern labor. Just as they do every other commodity on earth, and the retirement of the more fortunate girl leaves the field in better shape for those who remain. This rule also works out satisfactorily in the case of male help. The attractive wages paid for rough labor have drawn from the ranks of professional men a great many who, through mistaking their vo cation, were hardly able to eke out a bare existence In the professions. In withdrawing, even though it be but temporarily, they are not only improv ing their own condition, but they are wonderfully brightening the chances of their fellowmen, who, either through mental or financial equipment, are bet ter fitted to stay with their chesen pro fession. There is nothing in the past or in a forecast of the future that can give any assurance that the present prosperity of labor will continue indefi nitely on the high tide on which It la now floating. There have been good times and bad times since the world began. Prosperity has followed depres sion, and on the heels of prosperity again has come depression. It Is these ever-changing conditions which line up the good and the bad, the wise and the unwise, the econom ical and Improvident, where they can be counted. The thrifty fisherman puts his savings in a home or improves the one he has already secured, and when low prices, light runs cf fish or other troubles come, he is prepared to weath er the storm. His Improvident brother spends his money as fast as he earns It, and, when hard times come again, Joins the Populists and Is "agin the Gov ernment." It is the same through all lines of labor. Part of the laboring men who are now participating In the general prosperity all over the Coast are saving money In anticipation cf the time when wages may be lower and work less plentiful. Others are hand ing over, to the gambling halls or gin mllls all that they make, and the next era of depression will find them follow ing the free lunch routes, or regular guests of the free-soup kitchens, and all the while damning the man who has a dollar. FIT MATE FOR MR. BRYAX. The chilly silence with which the newspapers of the country have re ceived the announcement of Hon. Will iam R. Hearst's Vice-Presidential can didacy must be ascribed to envy un adulterated. Jaundiced envy. It is pain ful to chronicle the fact, but no other motive pan be assigned for the precon certed unanimity with which alt the great editor's competitors refuse to burst into one loud shout of Joyful ac claim. A distinguished Journalistic light is about to be honored, and the whole profession elevated in dignity and public regard. That ought to be sufficient for any broad-minded news paper, with a mind above low consid erations of "scoops" and nickels. There should be no apprehension that the Vice-President would ro'suse his high position to the extent of giving to his paper exclusive information on any subject. The Journal Is never in search of information. And even if it were, his well-known self-sacrificing spirit would assure a square deal all around. Besides being a distinct triumph for Journalism, it is easy to see that the nomination and election of Mr. Hearst would be of enormous advantage to the country. His amazing qualities of statesmanship, his splendid generosity, his large humanity and his broad and consistent philanthropy, of which we are permitted to get occasional glimpses through his fine newspaper, would assure him a high place in the affections and esteem of the Senators over whom he would preside. It is to be supposed Indeed, it can safely be promised that he would cause a copy of the Journal to be placed each morn ing on the desk of every Senator, that the destiny of the Nation, the duty of Congress, and the true policy for the general direction of the universe must be made clear to them. There would be no need to worry about the country's affairs. No risks would be taken In pur suing the way pointed out by this able, conscientious and patriotic couRselor and guide. It may be assusmed, too, that Senators who have long speeches to make could get them printed In the Journal and the Record will be relieved. The Record's loss would be the Nation's .gain. Probably the Vice-President could be persuaded to assume active editorial management " of the Record. In that case, we can imagine he would sling some modern style and a good deal of life and color into that dreary old publication. With ex-Champion Corbett as a member of Congress, sev eral red-hot editions dally would be Justified. The achievements of our up-to-date Vice-President would not all be politi cal. As a social factor he would be without a peer. It would be a charac teristic piece of enterprise for him to buy La Fayette Square, deprive it of Its wanton waste of green grass, big shade trees and dull statuary, and build an ofQcleJ mansion twice tha- atee of the White- Houss. Doubtless it would be given a mest artistic finish ing coating of yellow. The adjacent White House might iwssibly be out of harmonizing tone with the architec tural chrysanthemum, but its color, too, could be changed to suit new condi tions. It ought to be black. Lavish entertainments would be in order, and PUSillsts, actors and Dr. Keeley alumni given the social status their talents merit It may be urged by our esteemed contemporaries that the acknowledged scruples of the Vice-President might be broken down by the malevolent activ ity of reporters of his New Tork paper, state secrets burglarized, executive ses sions disclosed, cabinet discussions be trayed, diplomatic mysteries exposed, and all important sources of government news monopolized. We fancy we hear a suggestion that the President himself might be gagged and carried off by the Journal's own special corps of kidnap ers, and the Vice-President thus suc ceed to the Presidency. We have a double guaranty that no such brilliant Journalistic coup would be undertaken. Mr. Hearst's characteristic delicacy would estop him from involving his personal ambitions and fortunes in a public patter; and Bryan- couldn't be gagged. It therefore seems proper that the Hearst candidacy be regarded in no spirit of Jealousy or of levity, but that It be accorded all the serious considera tion it deserves. A BOLD PROPOSAL A humanitarian more bold, a pessi mist more pronounced or a reformer more radical than U3ual a physician withal has lately published a book on "Heredity and Human Progress." Im pressed with the dangers of "the ever strengthening torrent of defective and criminal humanity," Dr. W. Duncan McKlm, of New York, is of the opinion that religion, philanthropy and law have all shown themselves powerless to stem Its tide. He fears that, unless some new measure for Its control is speedily and rigorously applied, civili zation may decline. Regarding crim inals as the product of heredity, his proposal is to cut off the stream at Its fountalnhead by putting to death a gentle and painless death the very weak and the very vicious who fall into the hands of the state for main tenance, reformation or punishment This prooess he deems "an expression of enlightened pity for the victims of the sins of others," and he labors with earnestness and ingenuity to make this plan seem Judicious, merciful and In accordance with the best interests of all concerned. The remedy advocated is so very broad in its inception and so far-reachi ing in Its application; so open to the abuses of malevolence and parsimony, so shocking to the cultivated human instinct that reckons human life as sa cred, that even the appalling dangers from which It Is proposed by this means to escape lose by contrast something of their terrors. While constrained to ad mit a certain plausibility In an argu ment that goes to the very source of the trouble, and prescribes' a remedy, it may be said that the world Is yet far from ready to listen to Dr. McKlm on this subject There is a vast multi tude of people whose extinction might well be regarded as a benefit to soci ety, and even as a mercy to themselves, yet few of us have reached the point in practical philanthropy thrft would permit us to engage in active measures to bring about this result, preferring rather to leave nature to work out her reprisals for human folly and crime in her own way, and trusting Implicitly In the doctrine of the survival of the fittest to remove the menace of de fective and criminal humanity from the pathway of civilization. The recent Methodist General Con ference was a memorable meeting in the history of .the church of recent years, in this, that It Is clear that the laity of the church, not its ministry or bishops, have taken its Interests and policies into their hands. It is but twenty-eight years. In the conference of 1S72, since the laity were given a small representation, hut today the laity take their place In the conference in equal numbers with the ministry, and discuss and vote on equal terms In that body, although either order may demand a division and vote separately. This change In the General Conference of the church has not yet been extended to the annual conferences. Women have been admitted to equal participation In all offices of the church, except the ministry, by substituting In the revised constitution the words "lay members" for "laymen." Now a woman may be a steward, a trustee, a class leader, a Sunday School superintendent, a dele gate to the General Conference. The time limit for pastorates has not been wholly done away with, for appoint ments are still to be made by the bish ops, and ministers will be transferred by them from one charge to another, but now a relation mutually acceptable to the minister and the people may be continued Indefinitely, instead of being arbitrarily terminated at the expiration of five years. In respect to the reso lution concerning amusements, grouped in paragraph 238 of the Book of Disci pline, wherein "attending theaters, horse races, circuses, dancing parties" and some other matters are charac terized as "Imprudent and un-Christian conduct" the change desired was de feated, 256 to 253, but, though the para graph remains in the Book of Disci pline, it is now reocgnized" as a dead letter. Professor Mitchell, of the Bos ton University School of Theology, who was recently charged with heresy, has been elected to another five years' term as professor of Hebrew and Old Testa ment exegesis by the trustees, and his election has been ratified by the board of bishops of the Methodist Episcopal Church. Fred Clayson's body has been found, along the Yukon, and the missing link in proof of a most foul crime secured. Three men Clayson, Olsen and Relfe were held up on the Dawson trail last January, and brutally murdered for their money. Their bodies could not be found, and, while there were traces of a struggle, it was awkward to prove that the men had been slain. O'Brien, one of the supposed murderers, is In Jail at Dawson, held on some minor charge until the facts of his greater crime could be properly arranged. Twelve Indians are on trial at Skag way for the horrible murder of Bert Hortoa and his wife, on Lynn Canal last October. Two young men were drowned In Lake Bennett, and three men and a woman at Windy Arm. All this is one day's tragedy budget from Alaska. It will attract small attention, because the public mind, so far as It is concerned in Alaska at all, Is directed toward Cape Nome. We shall have troubles enough, and to spare from the far north later in the year. The coun try is uncouth, and fiercely inhospita ble. Most of the Nomers are tender feet and will not know how to care for themselves, how to dress, or what to eat and how to cook it. There will be deaths in large numbers from nat ural causes; and many more, perhaps, from accident Editor Johnny Wilson rejoices in his Seattle organ that the Alaska code Is a law and that the National Adminis tration has been vindicated from the slanders of its enemies that "powerful interests and especially huge corpora tions were to have special privileges at Cape Nome this season." It Is not probable that the President had any thing to do with the Alaska bill, or that he is in special need of the vindication tendered him by the great Seattle edi tor. But the new code protects power ful interests and huge corporations Just the same. It suffers a gigantic game of grab to proceed, and practically con firms titles to mining claims -obtained in contravention of every principle of Justice and equity. Concerning the original location of these claims, hear this from the preliminary report of the Cape Nome gold region. Just Issued by the Department of the Interior: Th lowest number of locations said to hava been made by one person was four, and tha hlrhest thirty. To such an extent was tha power of attorney hera abused, that more, than 7000 acres of cround were located by fewer than forty persons. ... At present the ma jority of tho Nomo miners aro said to be- la favor of abolishing the richt to stake eround by power of attorney, of reducing each minis? district to five miles square, and making a re duction la tha size of claims, and of restricting ownership to one claim per individual in each district. Such a reform would seem to be a commendable step toward prevention of fraud and the practice of parasitism on the miners' vocation by the great number of pencil and hatchet men, whose design Is not to mine, but merely, to make extensive locations for purely speculative purposes. These claims were largely located by agents of the big Alaska corporations, or were afterwards acquired by them. Vast numbers were taken up by persons not citizens, who pretended to pass title to a great California speculator. The new law does nothing to defeat this great conspiracy. Of the comparatively small number of bills that became law through the ac tion of Congress, the most Important are the measures for the government of Porto Rico and Hawaii, and the legisla tion affirming the gold standard. The other principal measures of the session which have failed to come to vote In either house, or, having passed one house, will remain in suspense in the other until next Winter, are the Hep burn Nicaragua Canal bill, which passed the House by an overwhelming majority; the Pacific cable bill, which passed the Senate; the Army organiza tion bill, which passed the Senate; the anti-trust law, which passed the House; the Spooner bill, and the ship ping bill. The Hepburn Nicaragua Ca nal bill will come up early In the Sen ate, It having been made the special order for December 1C. The failure ta pass the Spooner bill will not make any practical difference In the administra tion of affairs In the Philippines, for the power to administer. In absence of definite legislation. Is clearly with the President Congress has an early ad journment Some thirty years ago the long session of Congress was ended by June 10, but since then so early a date has rarely been approached. Rev. E. N. Condlt, who has Just died at Walla Walla, was long one of the important educators of Oregon. He was of clean and noble life, rigid ideals and agreeable personality. He was in timately known by many young men and women of the Willamette Valley, whose good fortune It was to come un der the influence of his example and training at Albany College. Governor Steunenberg took measures to enforce the law and restore and preserve order among the murderous rioters in the Coeur d'Alenes. He was denounced by Democratic demagogues everywhere, and that means every cheap Sulzer In the country. Now he Is upheld by the Democratic party of his state. The matter is now up to Kansas City. The Chicago Chronicle (Dem.) makes the consoling remark that Oregon wasn't worth carrying, anyway. This is encouraging to Colonel Bryan's en thusiastic and Industrious admirers, like Milt Miller and Judge O'Day, who count that day lost whose low descend ing sun has seen no blow struck for 16 to 1. Coos County appears to have wearied of her walk with Populism. For seven years it was the stanchest Populist community in all Oregon, but last Mon day it went Republican by a decisive vote, th'e Clerk,- Assessor and Coroner being the only opposition candidates who were successful. Senator Depew's defense in the ugly Hazel Judgeship case is that the public could not expect a first-class lawyer to accept a $2500 Judicial position. We don't know about that We do know that Depew did not recommend a first class lawyer. Besides, the Judgeship Is worth $5000. Washington has a poet His name Is Jones. He is a member of Congress. He contributes to the Congressional Record a gorgeous apostrophe to his state. Jim Ham Lewis has not lived, labored and lost in vain. There are others, and they get there with all thel rhythmical feet Rev. C. M. Sheldon Is going abroad, and has engaged most commodious quarters on & luxurious liner. The brother seems to have some difficulty in literally following "in his steps" across the waters. Kentucky gave her namesake battle ship a beautiful silver service, with nothing in It This was not deliberate impoliteness. It was simply forgetful ness. There are Gold Democrats In this town who think they are still Demo crats; but they are not helping make any Democratic platforms thl3 year. Indiana Democrats indorse Bryan, But not 16 to 1. It takes a Democrat to commend the devil and reprobate his works. The solid six are still in business at the City Hah. But these pleasant June days will last only till July 1. Congress should have appropriated that $5,000,000 to preserve the peace in St Louis. .r,o . .nnnntn I TemmrOH Posthumous Protest Tha night was dark. The phosphor escent shade of the late A Tennyson stole softly up the broad steps of Windsor C&stle, filtered through tho mausive doors, and stood for a moment at th threshold of tha library of her gracious majesty, the Queen. It hesitated an Instant, then seated itself at the desk which her majesty now employs for the manufacture of bouquets for her loyal subjocts In tha Transvaal, and dashed off a few lines, which It neatly folded and laid un der a life-sized photograph of Al Austin. Then it evaporated. When her majesty came down to her library the next morn ing, she opened the note, and this is what she read: Thunder and lightning toot And words yet more profane. What evil have I ever done to you. Who drivest me insane? For, though in regions of tho blest I've heard Some pretty rotten verse. The present laureate ne'er wrote a word That wasn't worse. Horse meat, and Mafeklngt Indeed a. lofty tbema For modern poet laureates to slngt That theme's a dream. I know I've turned out lots of work myself. That wasn't quite deuce high. But don't you think it's too hard, Madame Guelph, To olass mo with that guy? Not AH Beer nnd Skittles. How speedily tho candidate His victory forgets, "When ho begins to contemplate The length of time he'll have to wait Beforoha's paid bis debts. A Vlraln Field. The census-taker heaved a sigh And &dly shook his head; "I'd make myself a name," said he, "If only they would Just agree To let me count the dead." A Modern Drama. There aro many aspiring amateur actors In Portland who have not yet succeeded in finding i ploy to suit them. To these the following up-to-date modern drama is submitted, with tho assurance that they will not be charged any royalty for using It: Act I. OfBce of M. Ployer, bald-headed mer chant Enter Hole E. Fright, a whisky drummer. FrightAha, Judging from the fact that the room Is empty, I would Infer that there is no one in it While I am do ing nothing, I will sing a little song. (Comes forward to footlights, puts his left hand on his breast, and sings.) Enter Carry On, Ployer's typewriter. Carry (not observing Fright, although she walks square behind him on her way to the usual place in front of tho foot lights) Alas, Mr. Fright has not kept his trrryst with me. Having nothing else to do. I will practice that little skirt dance my Sunday School teacher taught me. (Dances.) Fright (advancing) Good morning, Mis3 On. Carry-rOh, Mr. Fr.'ght, how you startled me! Fright Let us run over that little duet (They sing together.) EnUr M. Ployer. Ployer Miss On, I am astonished. Young man, leave the room and forrrev errr. (Follows them out Exeunt) Enter pretty typewriter girls clad in half-grown skirts. First typewriter girl Our friend Carry Is not here. She must-toe gone. Let us pass the time away by singing a little song. (All sing.) Enter Ployer. Ployer Alt, my beyy of beauties, pass ing the time away, eh? Let me assist you in your merrymaking. (Advances to tho footlights and sings baritone solo, in chorus of which the girls join.) (Curtain.) Act IL Railroad track Same typewriter girls. It I3 unnecessary to the plot to say how they got there. Let It suffice that they are there. Enter Carry. Carry Here comes the N. G. Express. (Express whistles without.) However, let us sing a little song. (All sing and dance on the railroad tracks.) , Enter train, and is about to reduce Miss On to mincemeat under its papier-mache wheels, when, - Enter Fright, seizes her. and deposits her limp figure in a place of perfect safety on a chair. (Not necessary to plot to explain how the chair got there.) Fright Now, darling, will you be mine? Carry Alas. I cannot! Mr. Ployer has been good to me, and I dare not marry without his consent I feel like the poor g'rl mentioned In the sad song. (Comes forward to footlights and sings said sad song. Typewriter girls join In chorus, while curtain Is descending.) Frlgnt (coming forward and taking the audience Into his confidence) I have a plan to win her. (Curtain.) (Grouping for .recall will he furnished on application.) Act in. Ployer's office. Enter Fright's 7-year-old brother. Small Kidd. Kldd Now I must carry my brother's plans Into execution. (Takes Ployer's office-coat fr,om a nail on the wall, pulls a wig from the pocket (not necessary to explain how wig got there), and puts it on. Seats himself at Ployer's desk.) Enter Carry. Kidd Miss On. I find that Mr. Fright Is really an exemplary young man. (Not necessary" to state how 7-year-old boy can pronounce exemplary), and you have my full consent to wed him. Carry Oh, dear, good Mr. Ployer, this Is so sudden. I shall faint, but before I do. I shall run over a little popular sons. (Sings.) Enter typeTlter girls and assist in chorus. Enter Ployer. (Carry faints.) Ployer What does all this mean. Kldd James! Enter servant Kidd James, remove this impostor. James Yes, Boss. Ployer James, I am your master. James Rats. Tink I don't know me master? Dere he sits. (Indicating Kidd.) Kidd Out with -him. (Exeunt James and Ploygr struggling. Sound of sceneshlfter throwing a box of broken glass on the floor.) Enter Fright Fright My own true love! My plan has worked. Let us celebrate this happy event by sitting around the stage looking -wise while a few of my friends entertain us. Enter acrobats, players on various musi cal instruments, pairs of skirt dancers and monologue men. (Refined specialties.) Chorus. (Curtain.) The Way He Dictated It. The poet had a cold m his head, but ha insisted on dictating to his stenog rapher a few verses on the balmy June. When she extended her notes and sub mitted the copy to him, this is what he found he had sold: The bobby Jude is here. The bobby Jude; Tho birds slg far ad near Thler happy tude. " How greed the sprcadig trees, How fair the grassy leas. How sweet the soud oC bees. Id bobby Jude. X love to walk afield. Id bebby Jude. "Whed buds their perfubo yield. Ad whed. at dood. The sud's rays frob o'erhead. O'er field ad plaid are spread. Ad care ad paid are fled. Id bobby Jude. - ' MASTERPIECES OF LITERATURE XVIII. The Vision oFMirzaX Joseph Addison On the fifth day of --the moon, which, according to the custom of my forefatn ers, I always keep hdy, after having washed myself, and offerey1 up zny morn ing devotions, I ascended he high hills of Bagdat in order to pas3 tha rest of the day in meditation and prayer. As I was here airing myself on the ttps of tha mountains, I fell into a profound con templation on the vanity of humivn life; and, passing from one thought to ctipther. "Surely," said I, "man is but a shallow, and life a dream." Whilst I was thus musing. I cast nv eyes toward the summit of a rock, that was not far from me, where I dlacovcrefi one. In the habit of a shepherd, with & musical instrument in his hand. As T. looked upon him he applied it to his lips, and began to play upon It The sound of It was exceeding sweet and wrought into a variety of tunes, that were inex pressibly melodious, and altogether dif ferent from anything I had ever heard. They put mo In mind of those heavenly airs, that are played to the departed souls of good men upon their first arrival m paradise, to wear out the Impressions ot the last agonies, and qualify them for the pleasures of that happy place. My heart melted away in secret rap tures. I had been often told, that the rock before me was th( haunt of a Genius; and that several had been entertained with music, who had passed by it, but never heard that the musician had before mad himself visible. When he had raised my thoughts, by those transporting airs which he played, to -taste the pleasure of his conversation, as I looked upon him. like one astonished, he beckoned to me. and, by the waving of his hand, directed me to approach the place where he sat I drew near, with that reverence which is due to a superior nature; and, a3 my heart was entirely subdued by the capti vating strains I had heard, I fell down at his feet and wept. Tho Genius smiled upon mo with a look of compassion and affabnity. that familiarized him to my im agination, and, fit once, dispelled all tho fears and apprehensions with which I ap proached him. He lifted me from tha ground, and, taking me by the hand. "Mirza," said he, "I have heard thee m thy soliloquies: follow me." He then led me to the highest pinnacle of the reck, and placing me on the top of it, "Cast thy eyes eastward," said he, "and tell mo what thou seest" "I see." said I, "a huge valley, and a. prodigious tide of water rolling through It" "The valley that thou seest" said he, "is tho valley of misery, and tho tide of water that thou seest is part of the great tide of eternity." "What is the reason," said I, "that the tide I see rises out of a thlci mist at one end and again loses Itself in a thick mist at the other?" "What thou seest," said he, "Is that por tion ot eternity which is called time, measured out by the sun, and reaching from the beginning of the world to its consummation. Examine now," said he. "this sea, that is thus bounded with dark ness at both ends, and tell me what thou dlscoverest In it." "I see a bridge," said I, "standing in the midst of the tide." "The bridge thou seest," said he, "Is hu man life; consider It attentively." Upon a more leisurely survey of It I found that It consisted of three-score and ten entire arches, with several broken arches, which, added to those that were entire, made up the number about a hundred. As I was counting the arches, tho Genius told me that this bridge consisted, at first, of a thousand arches; but that a great flood swept away the rest and left the bridge in the ruinous condition I now beheld it "But tell mo further," said he. "what thou dlscoverest on. it" "I see multitudes of people passing over it," said I, "and black clouds hanging on each end of it." As I looked mora attentively, I eaw sev eral of tho passengers dropping througn the bridge Into the great tide that flowed underneath it; and, upon further exami nation, perceived there were Innumerable trapdoors that lay concealed In the bridge, which the passengers no sooner trod up on, but they fell through them Into tha tide, and immediately disappeared. These hidden pitfalls were set very thick at the entrance of the bridge, so that throngs of people no sooner broke "through tho cloud,, than many of them fell into them. They grew thinner towards the middle, but multiplied and lay closer together towards the end of the arches that wero entire. There wero Indeed some persons, but their number wa3 very small, that con tinued a kind of hobbling march on the broken arches, but fell through, one after another, being quite tired and spent with so long a walk. I passed some time In the contemplation of this wonderful structure, and the great variety of ob jects which It presented. My heart was filled with a deep melan choly, to see soveral dropping, unexpect edly, in tho midst of mirth and Jollity, and catching by everything that stood by them to save themselves. Some were looking up towards the heavens in a thoughtful posture, and In the mld3t of a speculation, stumbled and fell out of sight Multitudes were very busy in. the pursuit of bubbles, that glittered In their eyes and danced before thorn; but often, when they thought themselves within the reach of them, their footing failed, and down they sunk. I could seo persons dressed in glorious habHs, with garlands upon their heads, passing among the trees, lying down by tho sides of fountains, or resting on beds of flowers; and coukl hear a confused har mony of singing birds, falling waters, hu man voices, and musical instruments. Gladness grew In me upon the discovery of so delightful a scene. I wished for the wings of an eagle, that I might fly away to those happy seats; but the Genius told me there was no passage to them, except through the gates of death, that I saw opening every moment upon the bridge. "Tho islands," said he, "that He so fresh and green before thee, and with which the whole face of the ocean ap pears spotted, as far as thou canst se, are more in number than the sands on tho Bea shore. There axe myriads of islands behind those which thou here dlscoverest. reaching further than thine eye, or even thine Imagination, can extend Itself. These are -the mansions of good men after death, who, according to the degrees and kinds of virtue in which they excelled, are dis tributed among these several Islands, which abound with pleasures of different kinds and degrees, suitable to the relishes and perfections of those who are settled in them. Every island is a paradise ac commodated to Its respective inhabitants. "Are nol? these, O Mirza. habitations worth contending for? Does life appear miserable, that gives thee opportunities of earning such a reward? Is death to bo feared, that will convey thee to so happy an existence? Think not man was made in vain, who has such an eternity reserved for him." I gazed with inex pressible pleasure on those happy Islands. At length, said I, "Show me now, I be seech tcee. the secrets that He under those dark clouds, that cover the ocean on ths other side of the rock of adamant." The Genius making me no answer, I turned about to address myself to him a second time, but I found that he had left me. I then turned ngnln to the vision which I had been so long contemplating; but. instead of the rolling tide, trie arched bridge and the happy Islands. I saw nothing but the long, hollow valley of Bagdat with oxen, sheen and cattle grazing upon the sides of it