Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Portland observer. (Portland, Or.) 1970-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 10, 2018)
October 10, 2018 Page 13 O PINION MCS Still in Business Martin Cleaning Service Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning Residential & Commercial Services Minimum Service CHG. $50.00 A small distance/travel charge may be applied CARPET CLEANING 2 Cleaning Areas or more $30.00 each Area Pre-Spray Traffic Areas (Includes: 1 small Hallway) 1 Cleaning Area (only) $50.00 Includes Pre-Spray Traffic Area and Hallway We Need to Talk About Masculinity Need to change the discussion J ill r iCharDson When we dis- cuss sexual assault, we often talk about women. What should women do to stay safe? When I was in school, girls were even trained in women’s self-defense. I don’t know what the boys did during those time pe- riods. Study hall? Ask any woman what she does to prevent sexual assault and she’ll have an answer. She uses the bud- dy system when walking at night, or she carries pepper spray, or she doesn’t leave her drink unattended when she’s out, and so on. We look out for one another. In college I had a friend with an al- cohol problem. We’d babysit her or take her home to keep her safe if she drank too much, to keep her from getting assaulted. Ask a man what he does to keep himself from getting assaulted. At most, you’ll get a “don’t drop the soap” joke. I think we need to change the discussion. Let’s talk about mas- culinity. Actually, gender scholars talk about masculinities, plural. by Men express their gender iden- tities in a variety of ways. Some believe that “being a man” re- quires honesty, courage, hard work, and competence. Others express masculinity through physical prowess, toughness, and daring. And some think it means sexual prowess with women. Many gender scholars say that gender is something you weakness, my father told him to “be a tough hombre.” My brother suffered from severe anxiety and probably PTSD. He didn’t need to be told to man up. He needed hugs, empathy, love and therapy. For straight men who empha- size the performance of sexual prowess, sex with women is nec- essary to achieving masculinity — and women saying no puts a road- block in their path to being a man. empathy, serves to create a toxic culture in which some men be- lieve they have a right to women’s bodies. So when women deny them access to their bodies, some men take it by force. In fact, a Five Thirty Eight re- view of recent studies suggested that this kind of toxic masculini- ty, more so than alcohol, is what leads to sexual assault. For straight men who emphasize the performance of sexual prowess, sex with women is necessary to achieving masculinity — and women saying no puts a roadblock in their path to being a man. For these men, it’s inconvenient that they don’t have carte blanche access to our bodies. do, not something you are. Your gender expression is something you achieve. When men or boys express emotions other than anger, show vulnerability, or do anything that can be remotely construed as “feminine,” they’re linguistically kicked out of manhood, told to “man up” or “grow a pair.” I saw my father socializing my brother into his future role as a man from a very young age. If my brother cried or expressed any For these men, it’s inconvenient that they don’t have carte blanche access to our bodies. It doesn’t help that vulnerabili- ty is “unmanly,” or that we social- ize men to repress their emotions instead of feeling them, because those are necessary ingredients in a healthy intimate relationship. Obviously, this doesn’t charac- terize all men. However, the pres- sure on men to achieve masculini- ty through sexual prowess, devoid of any emotional vulnerability or Maybe if we raised men to feel their full range of emotions, to feel confident in their manhood without violating women, and to respect the boundaries of others, we wouldn’t have to teach women to use the buddy system and watch their drinks. OtherWords columnist Jill Richardson is pursuing a PhD in sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She lives in San Diego. Distributed by Other- Words.org. Stairs (12-16 stairs - With Other Services) : $30.00 Heavily Soiled Area: $10.00 each area (Requiring Pre-Spray) Area/Oriental Rug Cleaning Regular Area Rugs $25.00 Minimum Wool Oriental Rugs $40.00 Minimum UPHOLSTERY CLEANING Sofa: $70.00 Loveseat: $50.00 Sectional: $110 - $140 Chair or Recliner: $25.00 - $50.00 Throw Pillows (With Other Services) : $5.00 ADDITIONAL SERVICES • Auto/Boat/RV Cleaning • Deodorizing & Pet Odor Treatment • Spot & Stain Removal Service • Scotchguard Protection • Minor Water Damage Services Call for Appointment (503) 281-3949
