FEB. 10, 1999
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Page B2
FOCUS
F in d in g Y our S oul M a te
B y E velyn K. R ice
C ontributing W riter
Yes! Soul M ate relationships are
possible. Y et there are m any m yths
and m isconceptions around w hat
Soul M ate R elationships are and the
process o f creating them. First, le t’s
define w hat a Soul M ate relationship
is. Soul M ate relationships are cre
ated w hen tw o in dividuals co n
sciously choose to com e together for
n eo
pp uriuiiu y to experience joy and
the
opportunity
B o vin a W e :
_______
TO
your desires.
A third key to creating Soul M ate
relationships is to u n d erstan d in g
A ffinity. A ffinity entails discovering
if you “really like the p erso n ’ you are
considering a relationship w ith. B e
c a u se re la tio n s h ip s go th ro u g h
phases and m ost people are unaw are
o f the physical process that goes on
in the Rom antic period, w e do not
always see a person clearly at the
beginning o f a relationship.
During the Romantic Phase, people
tend to experience strong attraction,
bliss, m agnetism , hope and ecstasy.
This experience is created by the re
lease o f a natural endorphin called
PEA or Phenal Ethamine. This attrac-
w ithin a relationship.
The second step is to identify spe
cifically w hat you w ant in a m ate that
w ould align w ith your purpose and
w rite it down. I call this a “ C re a te -a -
M a te ” list. D efining the spiritual,
mental (temperament, attitude toward
life, personality interaction style) and
m ent phase, peo p le tend to ex p eri
ence pow er struggles, hyp ersen si
tivity, frustration, fear and disillusion
ment. The ease in which you move
through this phase will depend upon
your willingness and your partner’s
willingness to communicate effectively,
resolve conflict in a healthy way and an
openness to acknowledging your own
fears and unhealthy interactions that
you bring to the relationship.
YES! Soul Mate relationships are
possible. And they begin with individu
als who are committed to creating the
highest form oflove relationships with
themselves first, and others second.
tionchem ical is nature’s way ofbring-
ing individuals together in relation
ship. It is natural to feel this sense o f
exhilaration at the beginning o f a re
lationship and it is im portant to re
m em ber that the im pact o f PEA typi
cally lasts three to eighteen m onths.
D uring the PEA phase, it is easy to
o v erlook or ignore the patterns your
partn er m ay have that w ill create
challenges in the relationship long
term.
A s you m ove into Phase tw o, the
E ntanglem ent Phase, unhealthy pat
terns and fears from the past will
b egin to em erge. In the en tangle
S i á t e / i e J i ÇuieL to Betrug S i n g h a n d J d a p p g
___ ~
B E IN G
physical (height, w eight, physique)
qualities desired in another person,
can help individuals identify at the
beginning o f a relationship if their
partner is com patible to their life ’s
goals, values and dream s. T his also
helps individuals clarify exactly w hat
is important to them in a relationship.
This w ill ensure that you are living
your life by C hoice, not chance, and
that you are spending your time wisely
and in a w ay that draw s you clo ser to
stand the physical, m ental, em otional
and spiritual com ponents that drive
and create our relationship interac
tions, we are like ships w ithout a
rudder or an airplane w ithout a navi
gator and can unw ittingly self-sabo
tage a potentially healthy and satis
fying Soul m ate relationship.
There are three com ponents that
can help an individual begin the pro
cess o f creating a Soul M ate R ela
tionship. The first com ponent is un
derstanding S h a re d R eality Shared
Reality entails know ing and u nder
standing a potential partn er’s rela
tionship goals and dream s, and iden
tifying up front if they are on track
w ith w here you are going in your life.
Shared Reality also m eans both po
tential partners are clear about w hat
they w ant for their life as individuals,
and how that w ould be enhanced
to share in each other’s growth. These
types o f relationships are passion
ate, harm onious and productive.
W hen challenging times arise. Soul
M ates know its about choice, being
proactive rather than reactive, and
the quality o f the relationship w ill be
determ ined by each individual ow n
ing their ow n history, contribution to
the situation and w illingness to honor
the purpose o f the relationship.
In these types o f healthy and well-
balanced relationships, each person
takes 100% responsibility for his or
her ow n life and for the results they
create for them selves and the rela
tionship. Soul M ates acknow ledge
that their partner is a gift to help them
see their ow n areas for potential
grow th and to increase their under
standing o f themselves.
O ne o f the m yths around Soul
mates is “ifl find my Soul Mate, all my
rela tio n sh ip ch allen g es w ill d is
solve.” T his m yth has contributed to
many individuals’ frustration and loss
o f hope in regard to relationships.
Even if you have a potentially great
relationship that you feel w as des
tined to be, w hen w e do not under
------------------»
S IN G L E
AND
. -T - J __ ^..—Vintili
Fl/ttlZ
simply means
not m arried or currently
involved in a m eaningful relation
ship, period. .. L O V IN G M E is a book
for w om en w ho understand that each
o f us has been given a unique oppor
tunity to create our ow n jo y , our ow n
m om ents and m em ories.”
C om passionate and warm hearted,
L O V IN G M E proves that w hat the
w orld needs m ore than advice on
HAPPY
finrl
i« ciinn
r how
how Q m
to an
find
a m an ort is fo
support
for how
to find yourself. W hether it’s dis
cussing things your m other never
told you or giving advice on how to
leave bad m en behind, L O V IN G M E
is an essential and necessary com
panion for all w om en w ho are ready to
m ake a com m itm ent to them selves to
start enjoying their lives - w ith or
w ithout a man.
|
I
Limit one coupon per person
Not valid with other discounts or offers.
Expires 12 Feb 99
Second time around (OBS)
, r -------------- 4636 N.E. 42 XVC
i
! ONE BLOCK NORTH OF N X PRESCOTT
M O N -S A T 9 A M
to 7 PM
SUN
NOON to 6 PM.
Black History M onth
Concert With Gospel
Choir Extravaganza
Tickets are $5 for general admission and
$1 for Lewis & Clark community'. For
information and tickets, call the chapel
office at(503)768-7085.
“The gospel concert is one o f our most
popular events o f the year," says Mark
Duntley. dean o f the chapel. “This con
cert promises to raise the roof with the
energetic enthusiasm o f youthful voices
singing contemporary and classical gos
pel songs.”
Next in the Chapel Sunday Concert
Series is solo percussionist M ark
Goodenberger, March 14, at 2 p.m.
Lewis & Clark College will celebrate
Black History Month with aGospel Choir
Extravaganza, Sunday, Feb. 14,6 p.m.,
Agnes Flanagan Chapel. Lewis & Clark
College,0615S.W. Palatine Hill Road.
The program will feature the Univer
sity o f Oregon Gospel Choir, Young
People o f Zion, Portland Metropolitan
Youth Mass Choir and Mount Olivet
Baptist Church Youth Choir.
The concert is part o f the College’s
Agnes Flanagan Chapel Sunday Con
cert Series. The series continues the sec
ond Sunday o f the month through April.
1 rtFiwrt 7Æ/
Formany African- American women,
finding and marrying the man o f their
dreams is just that - a dream. In fact,
according to some estimates, as many as
twenty-five percent o f African-Ameri
can women will never marry. In L O V
IN G M E: A Sisterfriend’s G uide to
Being Single and H appy (Owl Books/
Henry Holt & Co.; Jan., 1999; Trade
Paperback Original; $12.95), motiva
tional speaker Claudette Sims shows
these single sisters that fife can and
should be more than counting the days
until they meet Mr. Right.
A smart, funny guide that mixes the
practical and the inspirational, LOVING
M E encourages solo Black women to
find happiness in themselves, with or
without a mate. Highlighting self-love
and the ability to appreciate yourself,
Sims encourages women to focus their
energy on creating a life they love rather
than waiting for a good man to provide
it for them. She also shows readers how
important it is that they nurture them
selves while sharing a generous dose o f
love with family, friends, and colleagues.
This comforting and supportive guide
reminds us all that the world is full oflove
- to be had and shared - and that the
secret to loving others is to first love
P ic k U p Y o u r F R E E P a s s e s A T
flp S
Custom 3taming
418 N . KIllingworth
Portland. Oregon 97211
lentine
J — Jpecuu
Music Galore and
Galore Paging
(Concert ßor ^Lovers O n l y
3 2 1 3 NE Mik blvd
P o rtla n d , O regon 9 7 2 1 2
Sunday, February 14 at 7:30 pm
yourself.
Since Claudette Sims first self-pub-
lishedLOVINGME in 1985, she has sold
over30,000copies to women around the
country who, like her, felt that their
happiness depended only on them
selves. As Sims writes,” Being single is
not an illness or a disease. It is not a
condition. It is a state o f being. Single
I nvites Y ou A nd a G uest T o S ee A ny R egular S howing O e '
M urry Sidlin, conductor
ANOTHER
Bring your sweetheart to our annual fconcert tor
lovers” for an evening of romantic music performed
in the beautiful surroundings of the
«iwfflt a m m
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall.
in
Enjoy romantic arias from
T.C.J. CAFE
DAY
PARADISE
L m Boheme. love songs from
L
West Side Story. Gershwin's
sparkling overture to Girl
Crazy and other beauti
Featuring....
ful selections.
^4 Zribe_ Called.
Sponsored by the
With Special Guests:
Andrianoff Family
Supported by K lO Jfm
'Vocatist Georgene Rice 6 Jazz
N-Touch
& Willamette Week
Tickets: $15 - $45
'Sew S o n a C o m m u n itij C e n te r
R ew Dong V/ommunii
& NE Russell) |
call:
228-1353
lEtbaiacy2V7,if999
“James Woods ignites the screen...a meaty,
major role worthy oF his talent.“
1-800-228-734.3
8:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m.
M on.-Sat. 9 a m -5 p m
www.orsymphony.org
Desserts, Coffee, Non-Alcobolic Beverages, and Appetizers
w ill be available fo r purchase
For more
inform ation,
^ 2 panjttlon A t the Door
call 282 6081
“Melanie Gritfith.Jn her best performance to date."
Opening Date February 12, 1999 Koin Cinema
R a te d " I f
James DcPrcisl. M usic Director & Conductor
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