FEB. 10, 1999
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Page B2
FOCUS
F in d in g Y our S oul M a te
B y E velyn K. R ice
C ontributing W riter
Yes! Soul M ate relationships are
possible. Y et there are m any m yths
and m isconceptions around w hat
Soul M ate R elationships are and the
process o f creating them. First, le t’s
define w hat a Soul M ate relationship
is. Soul M ate relationships are cre­
ated w hen tw o in dividuals co n ­
sciously choose to com e together for
n eo
pp uriuiiu y to experience joy and
the
opportunity
B o vin a W e :
_______
TO
your desires.
A third key to creating Soul M ate
relationships is to u n d erstan d in g
A ffinity. A ffinity entails discovering
if you “really like the p erso n ’ you are
considering a relationship w ith. B e­
c a u se re la tio n s h ip s go th ro u g h
phases and m ost people are unaw are
o f the physical process that goes on
in the Rom antic period, w e do not
always see a person clearly at the
beginning o f a relationship.
During the Romantic Phase, people
tend to experience strong attraction,
bliss, m agnetism , hope and ecstasy.
This experience is created by the re­
lease o f a natural endorphin called
PEA or Phenal Ethamine. This attrac-
w ithin a relationship.
The second step is to identify spe­
cifically w hat you w ant in a m ate that
w ould align w ith your purpose and
w rite it down. I call this a “ C re a te -a -
M a te ” list. D efining the spiritual,
mental (temperament, attitude toward
life, personality interaction style) and
m ent phase, peo p le tend to ex p eri­
ence pow er struggles, hyp ersen si­
tivity, frustration, fear and disillusion­
ment. The ease in which you move
through this phase will depend upon
your willingness and your partner’s
willingness to communicate effectively,
resolve conflict in a healthy way and an
openness to acknowledging your own
fears and unhealthy interactions that
you bring to the relationship.
YES! Soul Mate relationships are
possible. And they begin with individu­
als who are committed to creating the
highest form oflove relationships with
themselves first, and others second.
tionchem ical is nature’s way ofbring-
ing individuals together in relation­
ship. It is natural to feel this sense o f
exhilaration at the beginning o f a re­
lationship and it is im portant to re­
m em ber that the im pact o f PEA typi­
cally lasts three to eighteen m onths.
D uring the PEA phase, it is easy to
o v erlook or ignore the patterns your
partn er m ay have that w ill create
challenges in the relationship long
term.
A s you m ove into Phase tw o, the
E ntanglem ent Phase, unhealthy pat­
terns and fears from the past will
b egin to em erge. In the en tangle­
S i á t e / i e J i ÇuieL to Betrug S i n g h a n d J d a p p g
___ ~
B E IN G
physical (height, w eight, physique)
qualities desired in another person,
can help individuals identify at the
beginning o f a relationship if their
partner is com patible to their life ’s
goals, values and dream s. T his also
helps individuals clarify exactly w hat
is important to them in a relationship.
This w ill ensure that you are living
your life by C hoice, not chance, and
that you are spending your time wisely
and in a w ay that draw s you clo ser to
stand the physical, m ental, em otional
and spiritual com ponents that drive
and create our relationship interac­
tions, we are like ships w ithout a
rudder or an airplane w ithout a navi­
gator and can unw ittingly self-sabo­
tage a potentially healthy and satis­
fying Soul m ate relationship.
There are three com ponents that
can help an individual begin the pro­
cess o f creating a Soul M ate R ela­
tionship. The first com ponent is un­
derstanding S h a re d R eality Shared
Reality entails know ing and u nder­
standing a potential partn er’s rela­
tionship goals and dream s, and iden­
tifying up front if they are on track
w ith w here you are going in your life.
Shared Reality also m eans both po­
tential partners are clear about w hat
they w ant for their life as individuals,
and how that w ould be enhanced
to share in each other’s growth. These
types o f relationships are passion­
ate, harm onious and productive.
W hen challenging times arise. Soul
M ates know its about choice, being
proactive rather than reactive, and
the quality o f the relationship w ill be
determ ined by each individual ow n­
ing their ow n history, contribution to
the situation and w illingness to honor
the purpose o f the relationship.
In these types o f healthy and well-
balanced relationships, each person
takes 100% responsibility for his or
her ow n life and for the results they
create for them selves and the rela­
tionship. Soul M ates acknow ledge
that their partner is a gift to help them
see their ow n areas for potential
grow th and to increase their under­
standing o f themselves.
O ne o f the m yths around Soul
mates is “ifl find my Soul Mate, all my
rela tio n sh ip ch allen g es w ill d is­
solve.” T his m yth has contributed to
many individuals’ frustration and loss
o f hope in regard to relationships.
Even if you have a potentially great
relationship that you feel w as des­
tined to be, w hen w e do not under
------------------»
S IN G L E
AND
. -T - J __ ^..—Vintili
Fl/ttlZ
simply means
not m arried or currently
involved in a m eaningful relation­
ship, period. .. L O V IN G M E is a book
for w om en w ho understand that each
o f us has been given a unique oppor­
tunity to create our ow n jo y , our ow n
m om ents and m em ories.”
C om passionate and warm hearted,
L O V IN G M E proves that w hat the
w orld needs m ore than advice on
HAPPY
finrl
i« ciinn
r how
how Q m
to an
find
a m an ort is fo
support
for how
to find yourself. W hether it’s dis­
cussing things your m other never
told you or giving advice on how to
leave bad m en behind, L O V IN G M E
is an essential and necessary com ­
panion for all w om en w ho are ready to
m ake a com m itm ent to them selves to
start enjoying their lives - w ith or
w ithout a man.
|
I
Limit one coupon per person
Not valid with other discounts or offers.
Expires 12 Feb 99
Second time around (OBS)
, r -------------- 4636 N.E. 42 XVC
i
! ONE BLOCK NORTH OF N X PRESCOTT
M O N -S A T 9 A M
to 7 PM
SUN
NOON to 6 PM.
Black History M onth
Concert With Gospel
Choir Extravaganza
Tickets are $5 for general admission and
$1 for Lewis & Clark community'. For
information and tickets, call the chapel
office at(503)768-7085.
“The gospel concert is one o f our most
popular events o f the year," says Mark
Duntley. dean o f the chapel. “This con­
cert promises to raise the roof with the
energetic enthusiasm o f youthful voices
singing contemporary and classical gos­
pel songs.”
Next in the Chapel Sunday Concert
Series is solo percussionist M ark
Goodenberger, March 14, at 2 p.m.
Lewis & Clark College will celebrate
Black History Month with aGospel Choir
Extravaganza, Sunday, Feb. 14,6 p.m.,
Agnes Flanagan Chapel. Lewis & Clark
College,0615S.W. Palatine Hill Road.
The program will feature the Univer­
sity o f Oregon Gospel Choir, Young
People o f Zion, Portland Metropolitan
Youth Mass Choir and Mount Olivet
Baptist Church Youth Choir.
The concert is part o f the College’s
Agnes Flanagan Chapel Sunday Con­
cert Series. The series continues the sec­
ond Sunday o f the month through April.
1 rtFiwrt 7Æ/
Formany African- American women,
finding and marrying the man o f their
dreams is just that - a dream. In fact,
according to some estimates, as many as
twenty-five percent o f African-Ameri­
can women will never marry. In L O V ­
IN G M E: A Sisterfriend’s G uide to
Being Single and H appy (Owl Books/
Henry Holt & Co.; Jan., 1999; Trade
Paperback Original; $12.95), motiva­
tional speaker Claudette Sims shows
these single sisters that fife can and
should be more than counting the days
until they meet Mr. Right.
A smart, funny guide that mixes the
practical and the inspirational, LOVING
M E encourages solo Black women to
find happiness in themselves, with or
without a mate. Highlighting self-love
and the ability to appreciate yourself,
Sims encourages women to focus their
energy on creating a life they love rather
than waiting for a good man to provide
it for them. She also shows readers how
important it is that they nurture them­
selves while sharing a generous dose o f
love with family, friends, and colleagues.
This comforting and supportive guide
reminds us all that the world is full oflove
- to be had and shared - and that the
secret to loving others is to first love
P ic k U p Y o u r F R E E P a s s e s A T
flp S
Custom 3taming
418 N . KIllingworth
Portland. Oregon 97211
lentine
J — Jpecuu
Music Galore and
Galore Paging
(Concert ßor ^Lovers O n l y
3 2 1 3 NE Mik blvd
P o rtla n d , O regon 9 7 2 1 2
Sunday, February 14 at 7:30 pm
yourself.
Since Claudette Sims first self-pub-
lishedLOVINGME in 1985, she has sold
over30,000copies to women around the
country who, like her, felt that their
happiness depended only on them­
selves. As Sims writes,” Being single is
not an illness or a disease. It is not a
condition. It is a state o f being. Single
I nvites Y ou A nd a G uest T o S ee A ny R egular S howing O e '
M urry Sidlin, conductor
ANOTHER
Bring your sweetheart to our annual fconcert tor
lovers” for an evening of romantic music performed
in the beautiful surroundings of the
«iwfflt a m m
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall.
in
Enjoy romantic arias from
T.C.J. CAFE
DAY
PARADISE
L m Boheme. love songs from
L
West Side Story. Gershwin's
sparkling overture to Girl
Crazy and other beauti­
Featuring....
ful selections.
^4 Zribe_ Called.
Sponsored by the
With Special Guests:
Andrianoff Family
Supported by K lO Jfm
'Vocatist Georgene Rice 6 Jazz
N-Touch
& Willamette Week
Tickets: $15 - $45
'Sew S o n a C o m m u n itij C e n te r
R ew Dong V/ommunii
& NE Russell) |
call:
228-1353
lEtbaiacy2V7,if999
“James Woods ignites the screen...a meaty,
major role worthy oF his talent.“
1-800-228-734.3
8:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m.
M on.-Sat. 9 a m -5 p m
www.orsymphony.org
Desserts, Coffee, Non-Alcobolic Beverages, and Appetizers
w ill be available fo r purchase
For more
inform ation,
^ 2 panjttlon A t the Door
call 282 6081
“Melanie Gritfith.Jn her best performance to date."
Opening Date February 12, 1999 Koin Cinema
R a te d " I f
James DcPrcisl. M usic Director & Conductor
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