Page 2—The Portland O bserver-A ugust 8, 1990
HERS I OPINION
Understanding And Accepting Death
BY VICKIE L. HUGHES
esus said unto her, I am the resur
rection and the life: he that be-
lieveth in me, though he were dead, yet
shall he live: and whosoever liveth and
believeth in me shall never die, Be-
lieveth thou this? John 11:25-26.
W hat does death mean to you? to me
it means saying goodbye to someone we
w ill never see again... O r do we see them
again? O nly God knows. A few weeks
ago, I received a message on my answer
ing machine. I heard the words, “ Your
grandfather is not expected to live through
the night. ’ ’ He d id n ’ t. I got the final call
early the next morning. As I prepared to
travel to Nashville, Tennessee for the fu
neral, I fe lt jo y and sadness at the same
time. I fe lt jo y because my grandfather
had lived a long , fu ll life. He was 90
years old. I fe lt jo y because my grandfa
thers suffering was over-he died o f can
cer and at his age, doctors could do very
little to ease the pain. I fe lt sadness
because a part o f my fa m ily was gone.I
fe lt sadness because I would never see
my paternal grandfather again. May you
rest in peace, Grandfather. I w ill always
remember Adam H. Hughes. One day
we shall meet again.
Deaths are categorized in two ways.
BY ULLYSSES TUCKER, JR.
placed w ith the truth.
d riving my mother to her grave w ith my
all ages. Unexpected deaths come in the
Death really h it home a few years behavior patterns and crim inal activity.
forms o f car accidents, drowning acci
1 ou would know the secret o f later when my father died. He was shot to Imagine how I fe lt as a 14 year old? To
dents, suicide, crib deaths, heart attacks,
death. But how shall you find death by his g irlfrie nd s’ boyfriend at her be accused o f such an act left me with
or unexplained causes. When the de
it unless you seek in the heart apartment, tw o blocks from where we g u ilt and very sensitive about this issue.
ceased person is under th irty-five years
o f life? The ow l whose night-bound eyes lived. I had a d iffic u lt time, at age 13, For a long period o f tim e, I fe lt respon
o f age, it seems that the loved ones left
are blind unto the day cannot unveil the
sible for k illin g my mother and today I
behind feel that the person was not given
mystery o f light. I f you would indeed
fault my relatives fo r placing such a
My first encounter with
a chance to live a fu ll life. I believe that
behold the spirit o f death, open your
heavy burden on m y shoulders. As I got
death, outside of watching it
God had a better plan fo r them.
heart wide unto the body o f life. For life
older, I learned that m y mother failed to
happen on the streets of
Unexpected deaths often trigger
and death are one, even as the rive r and
treat her cancer before it got out o f hand
feelings o f q uilt by loved ones le ft be
the sea are one.” K a h lil Gibran, The
Washington, D.C. andon
and this contributed more to her death
hind. Loved ones may feel that they are
Prophet, 1923.
television, came when my
than my behavior. S till, I fe lt g u ilty and
responsible for the accident or cause o f
responsible,
both o f my parents went to
grandfather died. I was in fifth
death, many times the person(s) feeling
their grave w ith a terrible perception o f
grade at the time. All of my
guilty may or may not have been present
Death is a phenomenon that people
me. M y drive as a professional is partly
but he/she feels g uilty anyway.
television heroes came back
must learn to accept and understand
attributed to them because I had to prove
Some individuals feel guilty because
because it is a fact o f life. Sometimes,
time and time again, but I
to them (in my own m ind) that I could be
they did not express love towards the
people are caught o ff guard by the events
started asking questions
a decent person. I just know that they
deceased shortly before death occurred.
surrounding death and other times it is
would be proud o f me now. I believe that
when my grandfather did not
I feel that a day should not go by w ithout
easy to anticipate. W hy people attempt
in my heart
come back.
telling a loved one, “ I love you.” We
to ju s tify , rationalize, or question death
I would encourage people not to
never know when a person w ill be taken
is beyond my comprehension. I believe
blame someone fo r contributing to the
away from us and then it ’ s too late to say
that the death o f a friend or loved one accepting the circumstances o f his death death o f another unless they are physi
anything. Some people never work out
forces people to put their lives in per because we had our first real father to son cally responsible, especially to a child
the g u ilt they feel as a result o f this and
spective or give up certain lifestyles/ talk the night he was shot. I fe lt betrayed w ith low self-esteem o r a fragile ego. I
they harbor these g u ilt feelings fo r years.
habits. People can leant a great deal from
by my father and God because he did not was fortunate enough to overcome such
Death affects people in different ways. A
death i f they study the life o f the person have to go to her apartment that night. harsh words. M ost children are not that
death o f a loved one can bring fa m ily
who died. O f a drug dealer dies, a person He could have gone to a party w ith my
strong or equipped em otionally to handle
members closer or it can tear them apart.
who is perceived to be an enemy to the uncle (his brother) or to the movies w ith
such drama. Over the years, I ’ ve learned
People often resort to drugs and/or alco
com m unity, most people could care less. my aunts. M y father had already seen the that is not the amount o f years you’ ve
hol to get them through each day emo
Some w ill say that he/she deserved to die movie and he never called m y uncle. Can
spent on this earth, it is about the quality
tionally as they grieve. Others w ithdraw
or had no respect for human life. On the it be they see their death coming? Is it
o f life and how you treat people while
from fa m ily members and friends and try
other hand, i f an outstanding social ac- G od’ s w ill that people walk to their death
you are on this physical plane. I would
to handle g rie f alone instead o f seeking
tivist/educator w ith 30 years o f outstand know ingly? Tim e and time again, I ’ ve
much rather live th irty -fiv e quality years
com fort through others. They also may
ing service dies, people conclude that watched couples who have been together
than to be locked up in ja il until the age
take out their anger over the death o f a he/she d id n ’ t deserve to die because they
a very long tim e die shortly after their o f seventy.
loved one on other individuals by in flic t
were good for the com m unity, regard mate does. There has to be more to death
Experts define “ p olterglist” as the
ing psychological orphysical pain. Fam
less o f ones lifestyle, values, morals, or than meets the eye. Continuing, I be
negative energy that exist in the w orld or
ily members may be drawn closer to
level o f respect fo r the com m unity, no came a very violent, angry, and bitter
those vibrations created by people who
each other when one fa m ily member is one deserves to die. However, we all
individual after my father was killed. I do not accept their death or w alking to
lost because they realize that time is
must meet our maker. Flowers, plants, took it out on my schoolmates, fa m ily
the ligh t when its time. I f you died today,
precious and that they may soon lose and animals die, s o , people should be no
members and com m unity. I cursed God could you accept w alking to the ligh t or
another.
exception.
for treating me so bad and for taking my would you fight death? When you see a
I f you know someone who has re
M y first encounter w ith death, out father away from me. W ith this anger
person looking very peaceful in a casket,
cently lost a loved one, take the initiative
side o f watching it happen on the streets s till in tack, my mother died a little over
it is said that they accepted death and
to com fort that person.Help w ith every
o f Washington, D.C. and on television, a year later and this did not help my dis
walked to the light. Angry or mad ex
day concems.Recommend self-help
came when my grandfather died. I was in position one bit. I was a very confused
pressions indicate that people fought death
groups. Be supportive during expres
fifth grade at the time. A ll o f my televi youngster and I could not understand
or
died abruptly, resulting in never en
sions o f g u ilt feelings. Give the person
sion heroes came back tim e and time why God was again, treating me so bad.
ergy
or “ polterglist” (negative energy).
enough tim e to grieve. Do not deny the
again, but I started asking questions when
M y mother suffered from cancer and I ’ m happy to say that I am at peace with
deceased person’ s past existence. Com
rfiy grandfather did not come back. Adults after my father died, she lost her w ill to
m yself and i f I died today, I would be
fo rt from others is the most important
should not “ sugarcoat” the truth when it survive. A ll she would talk about during
pleased
w ith my accomplishments/life.
aspect o f the grieving process.
comes to explaining death to younger visits were (all whom were dead) the
W
ould
you
be happy or is there much
Although many o f us have not lost a
children or young relatives. It only adds people who came by to visit her room. It
more
that
you
would like to do? Then
loved one and do not understand death,
confusion. “ Daddy’s sleeping” and
was ve ry scary. T o co m p lic a te
make
use
o
f
the
time you have le f t
we must try to understand it. Death is a
“ She’s’ s gone bye-bye” must be re m atters.family members accused me o f
known part o f life ’ s cycle. God expects
us to prepare for death every day o f our
lives. Everytime we attend church or
read the Bible, we are constantly re
minded to prepare for death by livin g a
clean, productive life. We are all going
to die one day. L et’s make the most o f
“ Fourth o f July Canyon” mines. In both who contracted for tree spraying w ith the
our time on earth and treasure time spent
w ith our loved ones.
cases the younger generations married U.S. Forest Service and for crop dusting
into the w hite co m m un ities-or fo r the w ith the sugar beet growers. His father
most
part migrated to the larger cities o f operated the largest Ford garage in the
DEATH CREPT UPON US
the Pacific coast.
comm unity and the son on returning
Death Crept uporrtts
—
In the state o f Washington there from the air force B U IL T T H E FIRST
It actually took one of us.
were sim ilar encounters. On the Snake HELICOPTER FROM M IX E D PARTS
So young, so new,
R iver near the Idaho border there was the BOUGHT FROM A SURPLUS DEALER
t ’ s rather hard to say, isn ’ t it? I f past town o f Ripana, Washington where around IN LOS ANGELES.
Why Him?
experience is any indicator, I would W orld W ar I (1917) a Black Pullman
I”m sure, you have a purpose.
In Oregon the experiences o f
say that the answer is 70% positive. This
I know it's a good one.
porter on the Seattle run had been stranded A frican Americans in the rural areas are
proceeds both from my personal experi when huge snow drifts blocked the main extremely interesting, especially in light
Death crept upon us.
ence
over the years and from numerous line. Fascinated by the new perspectives o f the follow ing. D uring the 1970s, I
His face-so cold, so pale.
visits
and interviews with African Am eri and promises o f the area, he returned to devised a number o f W ork Study and
I waited for It to move,
can
workers
and business operators in Chicago to bring his fam ily out and went Cooperative Education Programs fo r the
to show signs of life of living.
rural
areas
o
f
Oregon and Washington.
As the coffin was closed
to w ork as a ranch hand. When I got to U.S. Forest Service and many students in
O
f
course
you’ll
find that a good person the town in 1939, he had re tire d -b u t m y classes at Portland State U niversity
I wanted to shout. “Come back!"
a lity and good skills make the d iffe r admiring residents recounted how through participated, m inority and white. For
I cried a tear for Gerald.
ence.
I cried a tear for life.
the years he had worked up to rancher many o f the minorities those firs t assign
The July 25 Perspectives article and businessman, holding at various times
Death had Indeed crept upon us.
ments to rural areas proved to be a trau
-Vickie L. Hughes!1985) ( “ Loggers are H urting, T oo ” ) detailed the offices o f Grange Master and Mayor. matic experience-especially the A f r i
some positive personal experiences o f In this case too the generations had either
can Americans. In most cases these
This poem w as written about a co my o w n -p rim a rily representing a major married into the comm unity or gone o ff cultural problems were resolved, some
worker who was eighteen years governmental agency, the U.S. Forest to the big cities.
o f the encounters having some rather
old and died shortly after a car Service. But what about the Black “ on
These were common experiences, comic overtures: ’ ‘Get me another job.
his o w n ” ? The experiences I cited were loo numerous to m ention-w hen whites I can’ t stand that h illb illy music on the
accident.
100% positive and, actually, even though would bring their small children down to
radio and on the jukeboxes in those ‘ honky
this agency’ s “ A ffirm a tiv e A c tio n ”
the railroad crossings where we Black jo in ts ! This big redhead dude grabbed
sessions were in itia lly provocative and laborers were w orking. They would
me at the dance and almost broke my
viewed w ith suspicion, the “ rural” re point at us and exclaim, “ TH E R E ’S bones w ith that w ild stompin’ those folks
sponses soon turned favorable w ith very ONE! ’ ’ Most small children in many o f do. M y mother told me never to sleep in
few exceptions. Let us look at a histori these small communities had never seen
no house w ith white fo lks.”
cal pattern, for many o f the African Ameri an A frican American except in books or
A ll in a ll it was the Blacks raised
cans liv in g in this metropolitan area have magazines. However, in many other in the south who made the easiest adjust
not the slightest idea o f life in these other small towns, one would encounter all
ment. This follow s a pattern, fo r I no
environs—except for a few negative com sorts o f craftsmen and entrepreneurs:
ticed during my w ork w ith the U.S. For
mentaries they’ ve heard.
barbers, blacksmiths, agricultural w o rk est Service that in most cases the spouses
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
When I came to the Northwest for ers, harvest laborers, loggers, farmers, o f African Americans hired by this agency
problems. Portland School D istrict, T ri-
the first time in the late 1930s as a ferry boat operators, bridge tenders,
and were from the south found ready
M et, etc...I can name them all. They sit teenage high school dropout, it was to cowboys, mechanics, and operators o f
employment in even the most remote
in Board rooms and discuss what they work in various parts o f rural Oregon, hardware stores, grocervs, gas stations,
areas. Also, they readily entered the
want from the mega agencies or their Washington and Idaho as a laborer on garages, and other enterprises.
cultural matrix o f the comm unity. For
requirements and I can’ t even get in to railroad “ extra gangs” . Even that “ late”
On my second round o f experi- instance, in the Roseburg area the w ife
compete. They slam the door on you there were remnants o f scattered settle c n ces-w e ’ ll call this the current era in
o f the A frican American soil scientist for
right there...the bulk o f our volume comes ments o f Blacks in rural areas. In Idaho which we are interested h e re -I found
the agency was hired as director o f the
from small commercial accounts and I found a group o f Black wheat farmers many innovative Blacks who have made
area’ s largest childcare center. Both
some loyal customers. We have a good near Lewiston. Not too far away were the most o f opportunities often unique to
were active members o f and held high
follow ing. We have excellent services surviving fam ily members o f coal m in rural areas. In Spokane, Washington
lay positions in the com m unity’ s largest
and I wish more people would take ad ers who had come up from Alabama at during the 1970s I met C lif f Ritchie
church.
vantage o f us.”
the turn o f the century to work in the operator o f a HELICOPTER SERVICE
They are either expected deaths or unex
pected deaths. Expected deaths are often
accompanied by the five stages o f death
outlined by Elisabeth K ubler toss in her
book, On Death and Dying.
The firs t stage, denial, is a tempo
rary defense mechanism. A person has
been told that they are dying and they
deny the fact that this is happening to
them. Anger then fo llo w s which causes
the person to displace their feelings in all
different directions. The person feels anger
towards God and others. He/she is angry
because he/she no longer feels in con
trol. Next, the person attempts to post
pone death through bargaining. The person
bargains w ith God by offering to change
something in his/her life in exchange for
a prolonged life. The fourth stage is de
pression. D uring this stage, the person
feels sadness and quilt over leaving loved
ones behind. Finally, the person experi
ences a stage o f acceptance. The person
has accepted that his/her death is inevi
table and starts to prepare fo r death. The
fam ily o f a term inally i ll person experi
ences the five stages o f death also.
However, when the person eventually
dies, the fa m ily members often feel re
lie f because the person is no longer suf
fering.
Unexpected deaths strike people o f
Letter to the Editor
D ear E d ito r:
In your last issue (8/3/90) there appeared an article entitled, “ E x
pressing Yourself As A C hristian” . In general, it had many good points to
make regarding w ith regard to our warfare against materialism. Since this
article ws actually an excerpt from a recent book, I could not expect your
religion editor to have corrected some glaring errors in i t I hope, after the
fact, though, that I can point out those erroneous statements.
The article said: “ ...the Roman Catholic Church...claims there is
no salvation outside their circle...” The Catholic Church has never taught
this. In fact, it is a matter o f history that an Am erican priest was excommu
nicated fo r taking precisely this position! W hat the Catholic Church does
teach on this matter can be found clearly stated in the pronouncements o f the
Second Vatican Council. In its document on “ The Church” , issued in 1964,
the C ouncil declared that the Catholic Church has a very real relationship
w ith all other people bearing the name o f “ C hristian” . The basis for that
real relationship is the H oly S pirit w hich is at w ork sanctifying A L L ‘ ‘Chris
tians” . In fact, the Catholic Church teaches, through this latest C ouncil, that
salvation extends to many others:
* ‘Those who, through no fault o f their own, do not know the Gospel o f Christ
or his Church, but who nevertheless seek God w ith a sincere heart, and
moved by grace, try in their actions to do his w ill as they know it through the
dictates o f their conscience-those, too, may achieve eternal salvation.”
(Chapter II, #16)
The article continues: “ ...the Roman Catholic Church...bans its
members from attending other denominational services.” Again, there was
never a “ ban” as such, but there definitely was an atmosphere o f distrust,
but a ll o f this is disappearing under the influence o f the Second Vatican
C ou ncil’s teachings, which Catholics believe were inspire«) by the Spirit!
Finally, the article states: “ ...the Roman Catholic Church...maintains
dom ination above it (the state government)...” This is not true; the Catho
lic Church, in 1965, stated in its document, “ The Church in the M od ern^
W o rld ” (jChapter IV , #76): The political com m unity and the Church are
autonomous and independent o f each other in their own fields.”
W alter S tichart
« y
What Are The Propects
For Blacks in Rural
Northwest?
I
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Leon Harris
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