Page 4, Portland Observer, December 17, 1986
TEN TIPS FOR A HAPPIER MARRIAGE
At least one in every five U S couples needs professional counseling
But the good news is that marital therapy does and can help Stud.i
Show that the relationships of about two thirds of those who get counseling
do improve - both in their own judgment and by objective measures
of marital satisfaction
Marital therapists recommend the following 10 ways sparring couples can
improve their marriages
1
Focus on what's good
Many people see only the bad things
One counselor suggests couples swap compliments for five minutes
every evening
2
Stop recycling gripes Some people have the same ritual fight over
and over
about money, sex. in laws, etc You can't keep attacking
a spouse
3
Get rid of ghosts
Fights frequently stem from past experiences
Rituals remembered from childhood, such as who made breakfast in
the morning, often carry over into marriages with disastrous effects
The only way out is to ask Why are we acting like this?
4
Set rules for defusing anger Fighting
as long as it is not violent
is not necessarily bad. therapists say Spouses should he able to get
problems off their chests without ruining their marriages But once the
heat is off. try sitting down and talking the issue through
5
Negotiate for what you want One effective approach is to offer your
mate what he or she wants in return
6
Rewrite the script for situations you don't like Once you can imagine a
solution to a problem, you can overcome almost anything
7
Look for the problem behind the problem. What couples think is wrong
may be just a symptom of a bigger concern Maybe they have not been
communication or have not adjusted to a move or a new baby
8
Don't let small things loom large. Uncapped toothpaste tubes, socks
left on the floor
such things can break up a marriage if you let them
People have to ask themselves why they allow little things to become
intensely irritating
9
Take regular "temperature readings " Set aside a period every week to
share your thoughts, complaints, hopes, wishes and dreams
10 If your spouse won't see a therapist, go on your own Mates often
follow out of cunousrty or just to tell his or her side of the story
Regardless, even one person can make a difference
For a free reprint of "Ten Tips for a Happier Marriage ' send a self
addressed, stamped envelope to : Reprint Manager. R1 1, Reader's Digest
Box Pleasantville. N Y 10570
Lillian Elvolia Dean
Obituary
Funeral services for Lillian Elvolia
Dean were held December 17. 1986
at Morning Stai Baptist Church at
t 00 p.m for a devoted charter
member
Photo taken 1958
Mrs Lillian Dean, the beloved
wife of Clark Dean. Jr , died
December 12, 1986, and was a resi
. C’s
WIGS
A L IE N TEM PLE CM E C H U R C H
4
C orner of Bih en d S k id m o re
Sondey S< hool 9
1
m
VAoVida'/
S u 'x lly Worship 11 (JO e m
Chnetien Youth (»• o w sh ip S O O r m
(* •( orw1 end fourth Sunday«)
SpeC'a'
P h illip S N elso n (P a sto r)
W EAVING HAIR
p e d a te V °U r6uS),
%
Bulk
P»Y
fis«nt
$23 45
b
up
BrttyCiOirw P’opneto'
(long or specialty styles slightly higher)
B R A ID S $2.95
Children's Holiday Party
The ?8th Jimmy "Bang Bang" Walker Youth Group Children s Holiday
Party will be held at the Jefferson High School Auditorium. December 20th
at 12 noon.
The children will see cartoons and movies, will sign songs, and will re
ceive a Christmas stocking and treats The event is free for the community
J Zell Walker is President of the Jimmy "Bang Bang" Walker Youth
Group and this event is being chaired by Ron'ee Walker
Come |oin the fun and bring your friends
5 0 3 -2 2 8 -3 0 0 9
p\ah
Hair
W ig Styling $7 50 AND UP
Protesters picketed at FUR System s. Inc., in Tigard last Thursday
FUR System s. In c., m anufactures infra red night vision scanners
and the com pany has sold four of the units to the El Salvadorian Air
Force
The units are m ounted on helicopters and used to detect
body heat to aid in the m achine gunning and bom bing of civilians in
El Salvador.
Photo by Richard J. Brown
m u u m io *. ositsuo
m i mx t rsiaixsiosM stmi
INU SANCÌ (.LAIXt A t o m o
si datio n m s s í n m t ih u t i i v t s
HI-SDtU t SSIO rsio« TUTSI ATM! NT
USA M e stis i ASO
M W rATIINTS W IU.OMIO
All SI S IIM.S — A AIIOATI O SASSIM.
O H IO HIM SS MOMIAS SAT! SOAS X AM I SM
(VENINOS AS Alt AMI
ADA M IM I K
Dr. Edward G. Ward
Hum an
$18 5 0 b up
or by the ft $4 8 up
b . NAOMI SIMS ANOMI DOUGLAS NAT A l K COL I » MMLMAIl W ttX S
E D W A R D E . W A R D , DMD
GENERAL DENTISTRY
DENTAL CARE FOR THE WHOLE FAM ILY1
610 SW Alder, suite 1008
dent of Portland. Oregon, since
1929
She was the daughter of
Mahalia and Robert Shelton, and
was bom in Austin. Texas January
15. 1906
Her surviving daughters aie dei
nice Pollock. Jacqueline Brim,
Marian Benton. Charlotte Lewis,
arid Lucille Rose She was surroun
ded by the affection of 15 grand
children, 19 great grandchildren.
and a host of cousins, nieces and
nephews
Lillian Dean was past Matron of
Queen Esther Chapter No 4 of the
Order Eastern Star Prince Hall. Rite
ol Adoption. California Jurisdiction
,sta,b'#
M exican Fiesta. Dec 30 10 AM 12 30 PM Peninsula Park Community
Center 6400 N Albina Ayes 5 10 Start the new year with a fiesta
mask making, Mexican flowers, food specialties, and more Fee is $6
THE M O U N T OLIVET BAPTIST CHURCH
N E F irs t b S c h ty le r • 7 8 4 1954
Affordable J. J. Lock it Key
lohn H J*, »«un MmiStSW M ( i l M D
9 M) A M Church School
11 00 A M Conyreysbonel AnfShip
S (JO P M Vesper Servit»
10 <K )A M Ikeptism Foufth Sundey
Bonnie
9300
M RS. C ’s WIGS
7 0 7 N.E. F rem ont 2 8 1 -6 5 2 5
Closed Sun. A Mon. O P IN Tuoe. thru ta t. f 1:30 AM to 6:00 PM
4724 N.E. Killingsworth
PH 284 9582
11 00 Communior» (e t h ( »rsl Sundey
I h e A m e ric a n B apU st C o n v e n tio n . A m e ric a n B a p tis t C h u rc h e s of
Heavy Duty Single Cylinder Deadbolt
O regon Lott Carey Foreign M ission C onvention National, Oregon.
P o rtla n d E c u m e n ic a l M in is trie s , A m e ric a n B ib le S o c ie ty M ftM
$39 95 Installed
Board
LOST KEYS (we make keys
without keys
HOUSE.
CAR or BUSINESS)
RE KEY LOCKS
PORTLAND CLEANING WORKS
Has been serving the
North and Northeast Com
munity for 20 years. Dry
cleaning; laundered shirts;
alterations; fast service.
You have trie d the rest —
N o w try the Best.
Hours: Mon. through Fri.
8 A M 6:30PM
Mention ad for discount
on deadbolt
Candlelight Holiday Concert
Sharon Seventh Day
A d ven tist Church
Friday, December 19, 1986, 7:30 p.m.
IN CONCERT
Sharon Church Choir
Sat., 9 AM to 1 PM
Guest M usicians
3954 N. Williams Ave.
Come and Receive
Holiday Blessings
282-8361
5209 N.E. 22nd
rsxM M M M M M inpN f
.* t
i
. . .
* .
'■ > 1
A •
w
r t