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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 12, 1915)
" TITE ' BIOHyiyG OBEGOXIAlf. TTJESDAT OCTOBER 12, 1915. 0 3eirhiTe Bresenied COLIABORATION imsLMjzjm. owe Ae W"RITTK BV V GEORGE RANDOLPH CHESTER Author of "Get-Rieh-Qulck-Walllngford" DRAMATIZED BV CHARLES W. GODDARD Builder of the World's Greatest Serials INTRODUCING BURR McINTOSH J. Rufus Wallingford MAX FIGMAN Blackie Daw LOLITA ROBERTSON Violet (Copyright by The Star Co.) The accompanying story is th-e first installment of the new ad ventures of J. Rufus Wallingford, the famous character of fiction. By error the second installment appeared in The Oregonian Sun day. The popularity of Walling ford has been seized upon by makers of moving pictures and his present exploits have been dramatized for the films. The episode that is printed today is being shown in moving pictures " this week. FIRST INSTALLMENT. THE Bl .NGALOW Bl'NGI.E. n ROANS and shrieks unspeakable - issued from the closed door of the Pullman drawing-room, and the two girls, who were the only oc cupants of the car, looked at each other in concern. "Some one is ill!" said 'the younger and . more vivacious. She was " very handsome and about 20. The other girl, who was about 22 and more sedate, though there was the twinkle of humor in her brown eyes, listened intently to the agonizing noises that rose above the rattle and rumble and screech of the jerky train; .then she touched the bell at her side; and the two, apparently sisters, from their likeness of feature and from the neat half-mourning, waited in vain for the porter. Groans and shrieks unspeakable; wails of anguish; cries of mortal agony; wild, despairing screams. "I can't stand it any longer, Fannie!" and the younger of the two girls Jumped up. Her sister hesitated, then followed to the door of the drawing-room, out side of which they stood for a moment; while those terror-inspiring sounds rose above the loud rattle of the train. It was Fannie who at last knocked. No one came; only the groans and shrieks responded. The girls looked at each other in -frightened pallor.' "Just turn the knob. Violet, and we'll peep in." finally advised Fannie. "You do it!" breathlessly returned Violet, her hand on the knob never theless. An extra loud shriek seemed to ani mate Violet's hand, for It . turned the knob, and the girls peeped timidly through the crack. They stopped, numbed by the unexpected sight which met their eyes, and a lurch of the train jerked the door from Violet's hand and swung it wide. On the bench lay a long. lean, black haired and blacked-eyed gentleman in a black Prince Albert suit, his pointed black mustache twisted straight out. his head pillowed at a stiff angle on & suitcase, and his knees drawn up. On his knees rested the bowl of a shining saxophone, and It was from this instrument that the torturing sounds were rolling forth. After one moment of stunned surprise, the lean, lank gentleman was on his feet, as was the broad-chested, jovial - faced man who had sat smoking and figuring in one of the seats of the drawing-room. "Welcome, ladies." greeted the lean, lank musician, with a flourish of his saxophone, and another flourish of his his unoccupied hand. "Won't you come in and listen to the concert?" The two girls emerged from their stupor and began to turn pink with em barrassment. "So sorry," apologized Fannie, but suddenly Violet giggled. "Frankly." she explained, "we thought some one was dying in here." and the broad-chested man with the huge dia mond in his cravat, chuckled, his wide shoulders heaving and his eyes half closing. "Somebody was," he said, "Jimmy." and he tapped himself on the white waistcoat. "All right." The black - mustached saxaphone player was looking into the sky-blue eyes of Violet, and smiling nis pleasure in tne view. "I don't mind what insults you ladies hand me. if you II just hang around and sneak once In a while." and he drew up his saxa phone. "What is your favorite musical selection 7 "Tell him 'The Wearin' o' the Green," Miss Violet." broke In a rich voice, and a red-faced conductor stood there, his eyes twmitllng. "I was." grinned the musician: "but I u piay it again. "Oh. was you?" retorted the broad ehouldcred man. "Then don't." Both trie girls laughed, ana the gift- -d amateur turned to the conductor with a well-assumed expression of grievance. "This Is rough on real art." he com plained. "I try to cheer my gloomy companion with a little light lilt, and the young ladies rush to minister to one dying in pain. If you won't come In. ladies, may I entertain you out side! - They had just turned laughingly to tro DacK to tnelr seats, when a glistening-haired little Jap with a preter naturally solemn face came stalkins back through the car and handed the conductor a note. The conductor .read it; said gruffly. "So answer," and the Jap went away. The faces of the girls changed In stantly, as they saw the stationery. witn its snaaow-HKe Imprint of a Hying bird across the face of the en velope. "The SwHpw," and Fannie'a low voice filled with sadness.- - "Oh. Mr. O'Connel!" exclaimed Violet. and two quick tears sprang into her eyes. "Is the ' Tes. Miss Violet." and Conductor O'Connel gave a little motion of his neck which might have been a gulp. "I wasn't going to tell you. but we're hauling the Swallow on behind, and young Falls is in it with a souse party." The two girls, all the sparkle gone out of them, turned away and went slowly back to their seats, where they sat sorrowfully, hand clasped in hand. "What's a swallow?" inquired the lean and lank musician, a troubled ex pression in his black eyes as they fol lowed Violet and her sister. "The Swallow!" Conductor O'Connel frowned as he punched the tickets. "It used to belong to these young ladies. Their father built it for them: Warden, owner of this road. When he died, old 12. II. Falls somehow or other got the road, and Miss Violet and Miss Fannie that I've hauled since they were babies haven't a cent." O'Connel gulped, and his face turned redder. "It's a damn shame!" he suddenly blurted, having held his tongue as long as he could. "Old Falls skinned 'em, that's what he did. out of five million dollars,!" "Skinned 'em!" The lean and lank musician looking back at pretty Vio let Warden, became suddently furious. "Girls like that!" "Orphans like them!" and O'Connel plodded on through the car, too indig nant for further conversation. "Say. Jim," said the black-mustached musician; "did you hear that outrage?" ,"Yes," replied the big man. frowning as he lit a thick black cigar. Blackie gazed out of the door to where the beautiful golden head of Violet Warden rested upon the shoul der of her dark-haired sister. Sudden ly he slammed his saxophone in its case and hurried straight out to the girls and leaned over the seat in front of them. "Beg your pardon," he began, his black eyes snapping. "I'm Horace G. Daw. and you might as well call me 'Blackie,' everybody else does. My partner is J. Rufus Wallingford, and he's the slickest little financial manipu lator in the United States, bar none. Why, - Jim Wallingford -can go into a town where the entire floating capital consists of three copper pennies and a plugged dime, and come away with enough money to start a branch mint." He ran his fingers through his black hair, and warmed up to his work as he saw the puzzled astonishment on the faces of the girls. "Now, we've just heard that old E. H. Falls skinned you out of five million, and we're going to get it back for you. Give me the de tails." The blue eyes of Violet and the brown eyes of Fannie looked into each other in long, slow silence. Three minutes later, J. Rufus Wal lingford, coming to the door of the drawing-room, saw Blackie and the two girls bent together in friendly and eager conversation. "Come here, Jim," called Blackie. "Say; there was a whole gang in this deal, a clique headed by Falls! We're going to get ' that money!" "Fine!" chuckled Wallingford. "Get ting money, either backwards or for wards, is my main reason for living." Just then the train stopped with an abrupt jerk, which threw big J. Rufus Wallingford off his feet, and tossed Violet Warden forward into the arms of Blackie Daw! Five young men picked themselves from the floor of the magnificent pri vate car. Swallow, after that rude stop of the train, and viewed the devasta tion with extreme annoyance. The whist cards lay scattered everywhere; a beautiful pasteboard mddel of a port able bungalow had been jerked from the sideboard and bent in the tumble; and a glass of champagne had been dashed all over the lavender waistcoat of young Benssy Falls! "How very aggravating!" said young Benssy, as he rang for Shamasuka; but his dimples returned immediately. "Not wishing to criticise your Gov ernor's road. Benssy, but it's rotten careless of somebody. 1 should say," drawled Rickey Saunders, a pink young person with a mustache which had been blighted in infancy. A small young fellow with a corru gated brow, and a thick-lipped one with a broad, shiny face, and a black freckled young man, all expressed po lite approval of this statement; and the son of President Falls felt his respon sibility to his guests. "Some one shall have a good ragging for this." he promised them, seriously. "Sammy, you've been a vexing long time in coming." "I beg your pardon, sir." replied the Jap in his college English, - "but I thought you might like to know the cause of the delay, and I hurried out to investigate." "Very well, you may tell us," Mr. Falls graciously consented. "Thank you, sir," responded Shama suka. "There is a heavy rock-slide on the track just ahead of us. The engi neer made a very good stop, but unfor tunately snapped a driving-rod in do ing so." The eyes of all four of Mr. Falls' friends turned to him expectantly in this emergency. H was equal to the occasion. "You will tell the conductor" he di rected in the voice of authority. "to repair the driving-rod. clear the track. ana proceed immediately. Wait, he shall have written instructions." "Yes. sir." said the Jap. in a tone almost of solemn gratitude, but when ne reached the platform he grinned. Mr. J. Rufus Wallingford was out side discussing ways and means with the conductor when Shamasuka came wiin tne message. "Would you listen to this?" flared O'Connel. "Mr. Falls directs me to re pair the 'driving-rod,' clear the track WTkmseelTallinJhin. and proceed immediately!" He turned to Shamasuka red in the face. "You tell Mr. Falls that I directed him to go to the devil!" he roared. "Yes. sir." said the Jap with pleas ure, and when he regained the platform he permitted himself another grin. Wallingford turned to the conductor in perplexity. "You must be tired of your Job, he suggested. "Me? I love it," responded O'Connel. "But you don't think I'm sending that answer to President Falls, do you? It's his saphead son back there, and he's been giving me fool orders ever since we picked up his sousecar. at the junc tion. If the Jap only carries him my little speech, and the cub only reports It to his old man. I'm in line for pro motion if that's worth while'." A savage dissertation upon, the road in general was presentely Interrupted by the arrival of Benssy Falls, attend ed by his quartet of friends. The son of the president wasted no time in par ley, but stalked straight up to the conductor. "I demand an apology." he said, his dimples interfering sadly with his se verity. "You get back on your car." ordered O'Connel. "You can do what you please there, but I'm running the rest of this train." "You will either apologize or I shall be compelled to ask you to fight." de clared young Mr. Falls very sternly. . "That's what I call sportin'." an nounced Rickey Saunders. "Magnanimous of Benssy, consider ing the difference in class." murmured thick-lipped Haugh. whose father had been a dry-goods clerk until he de veloped a genius for being lucky at stock and bond gambling. O'Connell looked over the shoulders and arms of the athletic young Mr. Falls appreciatively, . and a twinkle came into his eye. "Far be it from me to commit assault, battery or may hem upon the son of my bread and butter," he stated: "but even if you were your own father. Mr. Falls. I'll bet a month's pay I'd defend myself if struck if struck!" To the surprise of all. young Mr. Falls dashed his fist angrily into the red countenance of Conductor O'Con nell; then Mr. Falls hit the ground! A hearty cheer encouraged Conductor O'Connel, as he sailed in to demolish the rest of Benssy's friends: but at the sound of that cheer big Jim Wal lingford turned to the cheerer. who was none other than Blackie Daw, and gave him a well-understood sign and signal. Thereupon Mr. Daw slammed his silk hat on his head, and held hack the two girls who were headed toward the scene of the trouble. "Nix," he warned. "Under cover for ours. Friend Jimmy is already on the job," and he hurried Violet and Fan nie Warden into the Pullman again. Friend Jimmy was indeed on the job. He had bent over the prostrate Benssy solicitously. Now he raised that limp young man. and. with a pass ing wink at O'Connel, who had been quieted by two brakemen and the en gineer, supported the son of Old Falls back to the Swallow. He was a friend and comforter in need, was J. Rufus Wallingford, and one who knew well how to administer restoratives, and take some himself. The boys liked the Impressive and help ful stranger. He was a big man and a cheerful man, - and his round face bore the color which could only come from years of fastidiously selected food and drink; moreover, his haber dashery, though striking, was correct and up to the minute, and there was no disputing the fact that he employed a tailor who was an artist. Also, he appreciated the pretty little pasteboard house, when, in his active groping for openings, he spied It on the floor, and expressed his interest. . "Rippin' fine thing it is," Rickey Saunders boasted. "Benssy's the archi tect and builder because he Is such a clever chap with his fingers, but we're all in on the inventin.' " "It's for a fishing trip we contem plate." young Falls modestly explained. "And so you're building a wind-proof, dust-proof, rain-proof and snow-proof portable house?" suggested J. Rufus. still groping. "Also heat and cold-proof." added Rickey. "You see, we couldn't find a good " portable house, so we invented one. Stunning, the amount of brains we found in the crowd! Benssy in vented the hollow walls, air space, and that sort of thing, you know. Reggy figured out how to turn the tables and benches into cots. Humpsy, who is no end of a clever mechanic, devised the simplest sort of a col lapsible cook stove with a telescoping pipe. Cash discovered the method of making the roof ridge water-tight, and I worked out a fancy clamp to bind the corners together; but, after all, the real rippin' brains of the thing is Benssy. The hollow-wall idea was his; came to him just in a flash. Never wasted a moment of thought on it." "Clever scheme," declared Walling ford, studying the model with the prac tised eye of a born mechanic, as Benssy took it apart and demonstrated how it was to be packed and shipped and re opening for which he had been grop ing came to him in a flash, as inspired assembled. "Quite clever, indeed." The as that which had brought to Benssy Falls the stunning device of the hol low walls. "This is more than clever, gentlemen," he went on, his tone changing to one of grave earnestness which commanded instant attention. "It is worthy of serious commercial consideration. It would be a pity to allow so perfect an article of manu facture to go to waste." "Well, of course, you know, none of us are in trade, and we wouldn't care for that sort of thing," announced Reg gie Haugh loftily. "I don't know, old chap," mused Benssy. "Why wouldn't it be a ripping good novelty for us all to go into trade? We've tried everything else." "That's what I call sportin'," stated Rickey Saunders enthusiastically. "Let's!" Ringgold Cash, frowning moodily at the black freckles upon his sallow hands, slowly raised one of them and stroked it down his lean face, as if his jaw had. sported the wiry beard of the original junk-dealing Cash, whose name had been Kashowski. "Do you think there would be a good return for the money invested?" he asked, addressing Wallingford directly, and waiting with quiet eagerness for answer. Wallingford turned -to him quickly and studied him with great care before he replied. "There's a fortune-in it." he declared, with a deliberately rising enthusiasm. "Of course you gentlemen are not com mercial. I am. I know a good com mercial opening when I see one," and he smiled to himself as he looked into the faces of the eagerly" interested group around the table, and studied the good commercial openings he saw be fore him. "Your marvelous portable house should be your gift to your fel low sportsman at about 25 per cent dividends; and I, who am strictly a business man am so favorably im pressed that I should be delighted to take 125.000 or 150.000 worth of the stock myself." "Thank you," said Benssy gratefully. "I consider that a great compliment, I'm sure." "Nothing of the sort," returned Wal lingford sedately. "It is only my cold business judgment which is speaking, Mr. Falls." Reggie Haugh had been flapping his thick lower lip with his thick fore finger in deep thought. "Only trouble is," he objected, "that all the rest of us have had a share in the inventing, which makes it a sort of family affair, don't you think?" Wallingford was Instantly ready for that emergency. "So far as that is concerned," he observed in smiling con fidence. "I invented inventing, though I am far too modest a man so to state." and he laughed Jovially, closing his eyes and shaking his big shoulders to show them that this was a joke. "Even while we have been talking I have dis covered a radical defect in the con struction of your portable cottage, and have invented a way to overcome it. You are making your hollow walls in straight sections which merely abut upon each other. Warpage and shrink age will draw them crooked and leave wide cracks. What we must do is to make the hollow sections like this." and he deftly and ruthlessly cut open, upon alternate, edges, one of Benssy's sections, telescoping the two parts upon each other slightly so as to show the plan of overlapping, and then re versing them to show how much space they saved- in nesting for shipment. There was a general chorus of polite exclamations. "That surely makes Mr. Wallingford one of the family, Reggie." declared Rickey. "I vote him in, fellows. Now! One, two, three " "Aye!" courteously' shouted his friends in perfect unison. "I thank you," said Wallingford, ris ing and bowing gravely. "There's one difficulty of which none of you have thought," declared Mr. Cash, ruobing' again, in reflection, the beard of his ancestors In the hollow" of his cheeks. "Who's going to run the company? None of us have the time nor the taste for that sort of thing." "I have," offered Wallingford. "Of course, my other interests are so heavy as to prevent my giving my entire time to it, but, if my partners will per mit me, I will organize the concern, set it going, and see that it is properly conducted without charging a penny for my services." "That's what T call sportin'," de clared Rickey. "Suppose we all put up ten thousand apiece, Saunders?" "I've only a minute, and then I muse go back to my partners." announced the chuckling Wallingford as he stepped into the Pullman drawing room, where Blackie and the girls had retired to talk business. "Partners!" exclaimed Fannie War den, a flash of amusement sparkling In her brown eyes as she saw tile twinkle in the eyes of J. Rufus. "Partners." J. Rufus repeated It with a relish, as he sat by Fannie. "I've gone into business with young Benssy Falls and the sons of four of the other prominent commercial crooks who helped to steal the Warden estate. "Happy smiles on their faces, Jim?" grinned Blackie. "Happy smiles." and J. Rufus rubbed his plump hands together. "Why, the sons of their papas had to be restrained with difficulty from blindfolding me and shoving their money in my pock ets." . "A'boob's a funny insect." speculated Blackie, while Violet and Fannie looked at each other and at the two men in perplexity. "Often and often, Jim, I envy a sucker the blissful ex pression on his map as he is being led up to the harpoon." "Don't worry," soothed Wallingford, "you're not dead yet, and as long as a man's alive he has the chance to be the biggest sucjver in the world." "I'm willing to wait." Blackie was carefully lowering a window shade to keep the sun out of Violet's blue eyes. "We'll let Benssy Falls wear the medal a while." "I'm afraid we don't quite understand what all this is about," observed the thoughtful Fannie, and there was a little crease in her smooth brow as she turned to J. Rufus. "Please, Mr. Wallingford, we don't want you to get into any trouble on our account." "Trouble," he laughed. "Why,, we're going to have the time of our lives. And don't you worry about anything that turns up.' I'll promise you this much, that anything we do won't land us in jail. I have a great respect for the law." "It's so useful," added Blackie, and Violet laughed delightedly. She had come to the point where she laughed, at anything Blackie Bald. - "Can Fannie and I help?" she offered eagerly. J. Rufus blinked, - and then he chuckled. "It will give Blackie and me great pleasure." he assured her. "Would you mind. Miss Fannie, If I gave you a lit tle detective work in the office of The Speckled Bass Portable Bungalow Com pany? Miss Violet, you'll have to help Blackie in three towns at once. Blackie, you are to be Mr. Bezazzum. of Bezunk, Michigan: Mr. Cazizua, of Ca zak, Ontario, and Mr. Penawpus, of Panap, Arkansas." There was a little silence in which the grls pondered on the wonderful new possibilities which had been opened up to them. "What I want to know is this," in quired Blackie, after mature reflec tion, "do I. or do I not, wear whiskers?" The grand opening of the factory of the Speckled Bass Hollow-Walled Por table Bungalow Company was a func tion long to be remembered. Fully one-third of the factory was given over to offices befitting such a distinguished set of officers. Entering a spacious vestibule in Dutch tiling, one saw sur rounding him a number of beautiful glass doors, leading, into the office of President Falls, In white and gold: of Vice-President Haugh. in mahogany and ebony: of Second Vice-President Humperdink. in rosewood and silver birch: of Secretary Saunders in walnut and cedar; of Treasurer Cash, in red wood and birdseye maple, and of Man ager Wallingford in plain oak. "Besides these, there was an arched and groined directors' room, which was a triumph of ceramic art: a buffet stocked with more varieties of liquids than a dye-shop: and a small boy. proud in so many gold buttons that in the snnlight he was one solid blaze. Also there was a very neat and retiring private secretary for Manager Walling ford. who kept herself out of sight a great deal, but displayed a remarkable interest in the business. Behind the offices was the . factory, with work men, grinning foolishly when un observed, in snow-white uniforms; and the very cleanest of clean shavings scattered everywhere.- The officers of the company brought hosts and flocks, and bevies of women, some young and some old. and all so beautiful by art that nature, out of pure spite had wasted no gifts upon them. These ladies, taught carefully from infancy to be charming, were charmed into ecstacies by everything they saw, with out discrlminatiori. unless they dis criminated in favor of Wallingford himself, who they voted to be a most charming manager, as did the board of directors next day at their first regular meeting in the new quarters. "You see, fellows," declared Rickey Saunders, "it's not only sportin' but rippin' what this chap Wallingford's done. He's made it possible for each fellow to entertain in his own office with all the resources of a club, and all the privacy of his own quarters, and yet it's a bloomin factory office. Won derful business man. I call him." "Remarkable," agreed Benssy. "I never saw a line of liquors and wines selected with so nice discrimination. Oh. come in Mr. Wallingford. Join us in an absinthe puff?" "No, thanks, boys," smiled the gen eral manager, "I came in to discuss stern business, and to lay before you a synopsis of our progress during the two months and a half since we organ ized our company. You have, I think, seen the circulars and catalogues mailed you from time to time as they were received from the printers. I now have the pleasure of presenting the most promising of the replies I have had from our advertising. The first one of these, requesting us to make a price on 300 of the portable bungalows, is from a Michigan cranberry monopo list, who expects to house his pickers right where the picking is good. The next one, from Ontario, wishes prices on 125, and this one, from Arkansas, asks for a quotation on 100 of the port able bungalows. I must confess that if we can book orders for these 525 bungalows at a gross return of over S200.000, I shall feel not only encour aged, but flattered." 'Hear! Hear!" shouted Rickey Saun ders, and the others clapped their hands. Wallingford laid down tha letters and took up two other packages. "I have furthermore to report." he went on, "that we have received our joint patent from the Government at Wash ington, granting us the exclusive right to manufacture our article in the United States." He held up the document in question, exhibiting its gaudy ribbon and seal, then produced five more copies and passed them around the table, so that each one of the proud patentees might see his own name upon the grant and have it for keeps. "Also I have to report." he continued, this time with solemn impresslveness, "the procuring of six patents in my own name for six more or less trivial Im provements in portable houses or bun galows. These are. of course, my own invention and my own property; but it is only my decent duty to ofer them to the Speckled Bass Portable Bunga low Company at the nominal price of $125,000. cash! Here are the copies, gentlemen, and I shall retire without recommendation of any sort." A stillness of the weight and inflex ibility of a Pullman blanket fell upon the board of directors immediately after the retirement of Mr. Walling ford. Ringgold Cash, being the calm est, as well as the most deadly about money matters, was the first to recover his nerves. "Seems to me this Wallingford chap's too good a business man for us. You see, it's like this: To begin with, the fellow has no right to invent portable house improvements after we have per fected the article." "That's it! It isn't sportin'!" de clared Rickey, much disappointed in Wallingford. "Gentlemen of the Board: I move you that we table Official Manager Wal lingford's proposition!" said Benssy. "Rippin!" shouted Rickey, jumping up. "Three cheers and a tiger for Benssy! Now fellows. One. two, three!" A gentleman from Bezunk, Michigan, a Mr. Bezazzum, visited the factory quite opportunely one day, while a spe cial called directors' meeting was in session. With "him was a beautiful daughter, whom he called Violet and who, in Wallingford's private office, rushed into the arms of the private secretary and giggled for a solid five minutes, after which both girls peeped out for a fresh sight of Mr. Bezazzum of Bezunk, and popped back in to gig gle some more. Pete Bezazzum, of Bezunk, was, in truth, a wondrous creature, in felt boots, corduroy trousers, a canvas coat, a sweater of gorgeous hues and won drous pattern, and a broad-brimmed felt hat. As for his countenance, it was lean and bony, with the most absurdly sprawled black- mustache Imaginable, and a little tuft of chin-whiskers which began neatly to be a goatee, and ended in all directions, as if it had suddenly become Intoxicated. His eyebrows were equally black and beneath them glowed a pair of black eyes which alternately twinkled with mischief and flashed with hawklike intensity. There was that in his bearing and ease, however which forbade levity or ridicule, and which made the board of directors take him as seriously as he took himself, but Toad Jessup. after one good look at him. went out into the stockroom, where he leaned over a bar rel of nails and laughed until he had the stomachache. "Well, you see. gents," said Mr: Be zazzum in objection to the company's product, "I m a willln tuh pay thuh top-notch-buh danged price fur thuh very best buh gosh port-table houses what can be coaxed together, and I gut thuh buhjing money." and here he slapped his pocket meaningly. "Bu-u-ut I don't notice from your catalogue enough new fangled doodads, dinguses, and hicheys tuh seem tuh chahnt thuh dollars out'n these co'duroys." "I m very sorry, Mr. Bezazzum." re turned Mr. Wallingford, "but I am sure that our catalogues do not do full jus tice to the Speckled Bass Portable Bungalow. You must come out Into our factory and inspect one which is complete and ready for shipment." It was a masterful manner in which to treat such an emergency, and the board of directors were strong in their admiration of it. The, board followed Into the factory, much interested, to see the demonstration. With all his suavity. Wallingford strove to prove to Mr. Bezazzum the exellence of the Speckled Bass Hollow-Walled Portable Bungalow. But Mr. Bezazzum was obdurate. While admitting the superiority of the article before him. admitting it in such Xlattering terms that each and every 'WhliTJie Iamous EmiE Pliers one of the board of directors was pleased until he writhed, still the thing would not quite do. The official manager sighed. The members of the board of directors looked at him anxiously. What would this commercial genius do in such an emergency? He displayed his hand, and in unison they sighed with relief. "You have not seen the improve ments upon the Speckled Bass Bunga low," said Wallingford. holding up his hand impressively, and the mere man ner in which he said it, his round pink face graven into solemnity, and his broad chest expanded to its full ca pacity, was enough to inspire confi dence in any man. "Allow me to show you the improved portable-house weatherstrip; the improved portable house lightning rod: the improved portable-house ventilator: the improved portable-house -down-spout: the Im proved portable-house door-knob, and the improved portable-house burglar alarm." Deftly and quickly the manager dis played these wonderful attachments protecte dby the six Wallingford pat ents. Mr. Bezazzum was in ecstacies, nor was his voluble ardor coled when Mr. Wallingford announced that these improvements wonld add J25 to the cost of each bungalow. "I wouldn't buhdang miss bavin' them improvements if they cost 50 plunks a throw," he declared enthusiastically. "Yuh can Jes' book mah ohdeh faw 300 hollowed walled bungalows with all of them there Improvements, and I slip you 10 per cent of thuh entire bill, in cash," right now. Yo'all can ship the balance C. O. D. and you can write or telegraph "anybody In Bezunk. Michi gan, about the credit of ole Pete Bezazzum." He looked so defiant upon this, that Benssy Falls hastened, with all the courtesy of a gentleman to a stranger, to assure him that they had no doubt whatsoever as to his financial stand ing, official Manager Wallingford bent upon the luckless president of the company an offended and, at the same time, reproving glare. "Of course. Mr. Bezazzum. I shall be compelled to investigate your standing, as a matter of form, but in the mean time I should like, before booking your order which is rather a large one for us, to consult with -my board of direc tors. I am only the manager here. Boy, take this gentleman into my office and see if he will not have some re freshments. Mr. Bezazzum, I shall not detain you over two or three minutes. Gentlemen, will you kindly accompany me to the board room." The workmen in that dress parade factory were breathlessly astonished on the morning after Manager Wal lingford sold his six patents to the board of directors, for things began to move with suddenness. Wallingford seemed to have but one object in life; to make portable houses as quickly as they could be made, as cheaply as they could be made, and as good as they could be made. He had his 525 bungalows ready within the time limit, for a delivery date had been part of the contract with each of the three orders. On the day those three shipments were to reach their destination. Mr. Wallingford's private secretary called on a certain lawyer, who immediately telephoned a certain other lawyer. On that day, the National Hollow-Walled Portable House Company which was a real concern doing a real business, tiled a sutt against the Speckled Bass concern for infringement of patents and damages! An injunction was also tiled! Here was a pretty .how-do-you-do! Manager Wallingford immediately called a board of directors meeting, an imperative one; and three most im portant social engagements were broken. This thing of being in trade had become a bore! Four days after the suit was filed, there came an agonized telegram from Mr. Bezazzum. that an injunction had been served upon him. forbidding him to pay for and remove the portable bungalows consigned to him. Wallingford called a board of directors meeting. On the following day & similar tele gram came from the gentleman in Ontario. Mr. Wallingford called a board of directors' meeting. On the second day after that a similar telegram came from the gentle man In Arkansas. Mr. Wallingford called a board of directors meeting. On the second day after that, again. Mr. Bezazzum himself came into the factory, both himself and his daughter, clad in the most violent silk sweater, procurable. Mr. Wallingford not only called a board of directors' meeting on this spe cial occasion, but he spent an entire day In a taxi and brought them to it, limp and pitiful as they were. Mr. Bezazzum, more violently in flamed than his unspeakable sweater, was a tornado of righteous wrath, whom Mr. Wallingford endeavored, with no success at all. to placate with soothing words and fond promises. "No!" shrieked Mr. Bezazzum. "OI'll have the law on yez, begob. You promised me 300 bungalows and Ol hev me min engaged, and no houses to put them In. 1 could have got thlm shan ties elsewhere; but by cheminy. I blace my confidence een diss skinner concern an they trun me down. I'm agin you; see? Tomorrow, by heck, I'll stack you up in front of a $200,000 damage suit, so help me! And that goesl" Wallingford in a panic at Blackle's audacity of mixed dialect. but ap preciating far less than Blackie how much the panic of his numbed board of directors could safely be trodden upon, and jerked to bits, and gorily, juggled with, just did save himself from an at tack of heart failure and drew himself together for his cue. "But, my dear man!" he expostulated. "My dear Mr. Bezazzum! You must realize that, so far as intent goes, we are entirely innocent in this affair. We delivered the goods to you on time, and we cannot be held for anything on that score. In a spirit of fairness, however, we will do this much. We will pay the freight both ways, take back the 300 portable houses, and repay your 10 per cent advance deposit, in cash. Isn't that fair. Mr. Bezazzum?" "Hear! Hear!" cried Rickey Saun ders, in & tone which tried to be ex hilarating. "That's a sportin' offer. Mr. Bezazzum." Mr. Bezazzum's answer to that sportin' offer was immediate, pictur esque, and violent. He had a contract calling for the delivery of the goods to him within a certain specified time; and delivery to a carrying agent from which he could not secure the goods, upon the proffer of the agreed price of their release, was no delivery to him, in fact, common sense, or law. In the meantime, relying upon this company, he had. in good faith, hired a resiracnt of men for whose, operations, in his behalf, these portable houses were necessary; and these men. under con tract, looked to him for their pay. He had a good and valid claim for dam ages, sustainable in any court, for a sum so large that it staggered even Wallingford when Mr. Bezazzum had the careless impudence to mention it. Mr. Bezazzum intended to press hfs claim In the highest courts in the land, so help him Moses: and there was no possible compromise! .Hold on. though! There might that Is, it was just barely possible that there might be a way out. Hope. dim. vague, distant, glimmer ing hope, the barest flicker and spark of hope blushed faintly upon the far distant horizon for five disconsolate gentlemen In trade. It might be barely possible that, if the Speckled Bass Com pany were to relinquish the goods free, in settlement of Mr. Bezazzum's dam age claim well, gentlemen, there you were, and what were you going to do about it or stand suit, buhgosh! The dense silenco was broken by Humperdlnck, the three creases in whose brow were now so tightly drawn that they seemed one blurred, black line of foundation for his spikes of hair. "Did 1 understand the gentleman to say that he offered a. compromiser he queried in tones of intense thought. Mr. Wallingford, apparently hope less and despairing, put the compro mise into intelligible terms. "At least there's somethin' fairlv sportin'!" Rickey plucked up his spirits enough to announce. "Is it cor rect, guv'nor. that this gentleman will just take the .100 portable houses and go back home to Bezap. or Bezlbber, or wherever it is, and never er never molest us again?" "That is his only terms," vociferated Mr. Bezazzum. "Then it's perfectly easy," declared Rickey, so relieved that he could pluck with interest at the mustache which would not come. "We don't want the bloomin' bungalows, do we fellows?" The unanimous assent to this was a closely concerted groan; but the groan was emphatic. "Then." went on Rickey, still bright ening. "I vote, fellows, that we accept the bloomin compromise and thank the gentleman from Bezam for having made his rippin', good sportin offer." "Just a moment, gentlemen," warned Wallingford solemnly. "We are set ting a dangerous precedent. We have customers in Ontario, and in Arkansas, who will be claiming the same terms." "Move we let "em all have the terms." returned Rickey promptly. "Move w let 'em all have 'em. That's Bportin, eh. fellows? Somebody second the mo tion." A savage second came from Resrgi Haugh. He had Just lost the second girl from the end. first row. because a man who would let business interfere with an engagement with her was a piker. They had barely made that resolu tion when the attorney for the National Company just managed to happen in upon them. The attorney for the Na tional Company was very severe. He would give the Speckled Bass Company its choice of two courses. It could con tinue business under a prohibitive roy alty, or it could quit business entirely and. forever. It. took the board of directors Just 43 seconds to accept the proposition to go out of business entirely and for ever; and immediately thereafter it de parted in - a body, declining even to take a parting drink in the hideous marts of trade. Violet and Fannie Warden started nervously as the door of Manager Wal lingford's private office opened, but they brightened as Mr. Wallingford and Pete Bezazzum entered with a distinct and concerted swagger. "Kverybody's discharged." announced J. Rufus jovially. "The Speckled Bass Company has gone out of business." "Gone out of business." faltered Fannie. The two girls had been hold ing hands and were still pale. "Forever!" Mr. Bezazzum pulled off his whiskers and threw them on the desk, and became Blackie Daw. "We must have cleaned up about a quarter of a million for the Warden Restitution Fund, Jim." "A little better. I think." Walling ford threw open the safe, and drew out a bundle which he tossed on the desk. "There's a hundred and twenty-fla thousand cash, which I wouldn't touch until we had every possible come-back settled, including the removal from the game of Mr. Bezazzum. Mr. Cazlzuz, and Mr. Penap; and more particularly, the removal of the Speckled Bass Port able House Company." "That's the idea," Blackie turned In explanation to the mystified girls. "In any con-deal, it's easy enough to get hold of the money, but to make it safe money requires both skill and pa tience." Violet laughed, but Fannie still looked troubled. "I don't quite understand how you got this money, Mr. Wallingford " "By strictly legitimate business methods in use every day, from Port land, Maine, to Portland, Oregon," im mediately claimed Wallingford, quite anxious to convince Fannie that it was all right. "That isn't what I meant." Fannie went on. "However you got it. the money Is for patents you sold the company; your inventions." "Bunk." grinned Blackie. "Jim in vents like he eats his dinner, five w six courses at a time. The fact you have to consider is that we got his hundred and twenty-five thousand dol lars for the heirs of the Warden Es tate out of the heirs of some of the. crooks who robbed It. And there's more besides, girls. You own five hun dred and twenty-five fine, hollow walled, very portable bungalows. Whnt are they worth. Jim?" Can't say exactly." Wallingford hail a deep frown on his brow. "They're at good distributing points, and they should bring a couple of hundred thou sand dollars; but the National Portable Bungalow Company offers us a hundred thousand net, and " "Put away the pencil and paper. Jim." ordered Blackie. for Wallingford had begun to figure. "We'll take that hun dred thousand and know whre we're at. How about it. girls?' "But we can't accept all the money!" protested Fannie. The girls hal clasped hands again. "We " "That'll do." said Wallingford gruff ly. "You'll take what we get for you. or we won't play." "Let 'em pay our exp:-sts. Jim." Blackie had detected c leu r tremllnir on Violet's lashes, and Fannie's lips were quivering. "Expenses consists of whatever any of we four blov.-.I in. And 1 move that we lr,ck U this of fice ana throw the key away, hire ;fi xn-hors- power car. and go son-.o ula. o f.-r a celebration dinner on the Ls-' pvn&e Fund!'