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TTTP! 5IOKMXO OTiEfiONIAX. WEDNESDAY. .TIXK 1312.
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WH.U IS BBYAX'B OAMXf
Bryan takes great pains In a. Com
moner editorial to prove that no and
Clark are in hearty accord on the
Democ ratio programme In ths House
and to disprove Hearst's statement
that that programme Is repugnant to
him. He catatonias the principal
measure passed by the present House
and express disagreement with Clark
and his followers on only two subjects
lha retention of the duty on raw
wool and the entrusting of the money
trust Investigation to the Pujo commit,
tee. He says, however, that he fa
vored the wool bill "as a great Im
provement over the present law, and
aa a great deal better than anything
that can be expected from a Republi
can Congress." of the turning over of
the money trust Inquiry to Pujo he
ays:
Tha caarus would not da It aaata If It
had It to da ever. Tba Damaeraia af tha
llouae have already virtually adnptad Mr.
Henrys plaa. and tha ioraatlf atlnn will,
therefore, ha a satisfactory one that Is all
that Mr. Bryan baa eontandad tor.
In hut anxiety to show that he and
Clark are of one mind. Bryan passes
over the scene which occurred In the
House when his attack on Underwood,
Clark's lieutenant, prompted the Ala
baman to give him the He and when
the whole Democratic side of the
House cheered Us leader" to the echo.
He has been little more merciful In
his denunciation of the caucus for not
appointing a special committee on the
money trust, but he escapes that diffi
culty by saying the caucus practically
backed down.
What la Bryan's ' object In thus
showing that he sees eye to eye with
('lark, who, with Underwood, shapes
the House programme T Is he prepar.
Ing to Jump on the Clark bandwagon
In case of a stampede to the Speaker
at Baltimore, or to annex the Clark
strength In case of a deadlock and an
opportunity to create a stampede for
himself? Is he trying to dispel the
Impression that Clark Is a conservative
or to create the Impression that he
himself Is no more radical than the
mans of his party? As Joey Bsgstock
would say. Bryftn Is sly, devilish sly,
and has something tip his sleeve.
AKROriAXK OR M1UOIBLB, WHICH?
So wonderful have been recent feats
with the aeroplane that men are In
clined to Imagine It the solution of the
problem of aviation. But so many
have been the fatal accidents to aero
pianists that we are tempted to doubt
whether their type of vessel can ever
be made reasonably safe. The cham
pion of the dirigible airship comes for.
ward with assurance that he can sup
ply the desired speed and oan combine
with It ability to avoid or combat
storms, safety against other dangers
and much greater passenger-carrying
rspaclty. He goes further and avers
that he has In prospect the means of
securing absolute safety and or provid
ing for passengers all the comforts and
luxuries of a first-class passenger
train.
The relative merits of the aeroplane
nd the dirigible balloon are the sub
ject of lively discussion among avia
tors and the May bulletin of the Aero
Club of America gives the dirigible Us
Innings. Major August von Parseval.
rival of Count von Zeppelin for leader
ship among builders of dirigibles, tells
how the German dirigible Zeppelin IX
hss attained a speed of forty -seven
miles an hour and predicts greater
speed. He testifies to the dirigible's
endurance by asserting that within two
years the Parseval VI made 124 trips,
remained In the air 34S hours, carried
tIM passengers and traveled S20
miles. He contends In favor of the
non-rigid Parseval that It can be
transported by rail and readily re
paired, while a rigid Zeppelin must be
transported in air and is lost If forced
by damage to descend In a storm, four
Zeppelins having been Inst in this
manner.
The case for the dirigible Is followed
up by C. F. Campbell Wood, who notes
great Improvement In the first three of
the four great desiderata, which he
enumerates thus:
1. High speed ao aa to overcome enn
trarr winds and ba Independent o( tha
Weather
J. Oreat lift Ins capacity ao as to carry
a large number of paeeengera Bnff fuel, or
prntertllea and Inatrumanta (wlrelsea tolas
raphy). .1. Tha capability of raining great alti
tudes. lthr to sat above tha clouda. sain a
favorahla currant, traval la mountalnoua
diatrlrta or gat beyond roach of earth-bound
artillery.
4. Ahlllty to land, anchor la tba opaa aad
be houaad without damage.
He tells how attainment of a speed
of 44 to 47 miles an hoar has enabled
pilots of dirigibles to become Indif
ferent to weather and to go out when
aeroplanes were kept In their sheds.
He credits tha larger Zeppelins with a
lifting capacity of twenty tone and
both these airships and the Siemens
Hchuckert with a useful load of four
or five tons. He describes devices for
manipulating the ballonets by which
the pilot can ascend or descend and
how speed enables a dirigible to climb.
He admits that the stumbling block la
difficulty of landing. In Germany
great sheds are being built at many
planes, but each one costs as much as
a dlrlgtble. Oreat Roofless structures
or depressions In ths ground suggestive
of dry docks have been proposed as
landing places.
Melvln Vannlman. who piloted Well
man's airship In Its unsuccessful at
tempt to cross the Atlantic, paints a
most alluring picture ef aa air-craft
that cannot fall, saying that patents
for the means to accomplish this won.
rter have already been applied for. He
describes the future aerial passenger
car as constructed with two decks, de
signed according to the luxurious con.
struction of modern ralVway coaches),
the upper deck containing eight state,
rooms and forty cabins for passengers,
four bathrooms and the crew's sleep,
tng quarters, the lower deck contain
Ing the dining-room, kitchen, parlor,
smoking-room and promenade. Here
the lazy air-voyager can "lie abed and
watch the moving picture of earth."
After bath and breakfast, says Mr.
Vannlman, "he repairs to the prome
nade deck for his cigar, remembering
the printed warning by his berth that
no cigar stubs should be thrown over,
board, aa such would be a menace to
life on the earth.
This vision has already been partly
realised, for the Aero Club publishes a
photograph of a lady lunching a la
carte and or the washroom on the
Zeppelin airship Schaken.
If the claims of these writers should
be sustained by events, the aeroplane
will bear tha same relation to the diri
gible as the bicycle bears to the auto
mobile, or the stage coach to the Cen.
tury Limited.
a nounoN.
The Oregonlan does not hesitate to
give Its approval of the plan devised
by Governor West's committee to place
control of the 8tate University and
Oregon Agricultural College with a
single Board of Regents and to provide
a mlllage tax for their maintenance.
The single Board a ought to be able
to solve the problem of the distinct
fields of the two Institutions. It ought
to assign to the university that which
Is properly the university's and to the
college that which Is the college's. Un
necessary duplication of work will
thua be avoided, while a natural and
healthful competition between two
great state Institutions may yet be
maintained and encouraged. We shall
have no more unseemly scrambles for
appropriations from an unwilling Leg
islature, and no more Interjection of
university or college affairs Into the
politics of the state.
The plan will, we think, meet the
general approval of the people of Ore
gon. But It la not to be assumed that
an Ideal solution has been reached by
the mere passage of a statute to bring
It about. The proposed law merely
suggests or provides a method: the
real labor Is to be performed largely
by the Board of Regents. If It shall
be made up of men of broad vision,
sound education. Impartial Judgment,
and patriotic purpose. It will achieve
Its mission. If it shall be comprised of
smaller men, or mere partisans of
either Institution, the project will fall
utterly.
Here Is an opportunity. If the meas
ure shall pass, for Oovernor West to
perform a great service for the state
by placing upon the new Board men of
weight and distinction, qualified and
willing to do the great work placed In
their hands.
PIT IP BARS TO IXMIC.OATTON.
The experience of the Grays Harbor
cities with the Industrial Workers of
the World, composed mainly of recent
Immigrants, Is followed logically by a
declaration In a Memorial day address
of Albert Johnson, editor or the Ho
qulm Washlngtonlan, In favor of
more stringent Immigration laws. He
Interpreted the sentiments of the vet
erans la these words:
Put up tha bars agalnet Immigration.
Enact mora atrlnsant taws concerning
naturalisation and enforce these laws ta
tha lattar
Let clllaanahlp ba a ptivllesa ta thoee wba
lira la and love tho United States.
Deny citlsactshtp to thoaa newcomers wha
respect neither our Mas nor our Institutions
and who have Imported a mass of Isms
that. If not sh-cked. muat lead on to
aaarchy and revelation.
In reviewing discussion and legisla
tion on Immigration from the founda
tion of the republic, Mr. Johnson re
called a remarkable prediction by
Representative Sedgwick, of Massa
chusetts, made in 174, that, although
the United States was founded as an
asylum for all the world. It could not
be forever so. Sedgwick said:
We must aot Invito ar bribe tha undesir
able to coma with us. America muat hus
band Its wealth of land, for many will ba
dependant whan it la gone.
At the time when that prediction
was made the Western boundary of
the United States was the Mississippi
River, but we have already almost
verified his further prediction, made
In December, 17(5. that the lands
would be gone In 100 years, and that
when the oppressed arrived on our
shores they would not be quickly re
lieved, but would be overcome by their
miseries before they learned to love
thlr adopted flag.
There are no longer vast areas of
public land open for settlement by the
oppressed of all nations. We are al
ready conserving what remains for
posterity and Mr. Johnson pertinently
asks:
Whoaa posterity Our children ar the
children of Southern Europe, who, when
they aema to us bow, cannot ba pioneers to
build up sad possess our fields and farms?
The character of Immigration has
changed and the newcomers are Im
bued with lawless, restless sentiments
of anarchy and collectivism. They ar.
rive to find their hopes too high, the
land almost gone and themselves
driven to crowd Into cities and strug
gle for a living. Then anarchy be
comes rife among them. The remedy
Is to put up ths bars and stop the
transplanting to America of the dis
content of Europe.
IXr-JIaM BX-OXO.MT.
The Democratic House Is giving us
some beautiful examples of Its style
of economy. It attempts to reduce the
United Statea to fifth rank as a naval
power by refusing money for new bat
tleshlps; It attempts to reduce tbe
Army by cutting off five regiments of
cavalry; It refuses funds for the Tariff
Board; It pares down the appropria
tion for the Panama Canal; it grants
no funds for Improvement of National
parks. "But, with an eye to the rotes
of ths 2t00 pensioners In each Con.
greiasslonsJ district. It votes many mil.
lions for pensions. Democratic econ
omy la very lop-sided.
By refusing to maintain our position
as a naval power tha Democrats ex
pose our Navy to destruction by any
first-class power with which we may
be engaged In war. If we began build,
ing warships when war broke out, we
should be at the mercy of the enemy
before they were finished. The enemy
could complete them and add them to
his own navy.
By reducing our cavalry force from
fifteen to ten regiments, the Demo
crau propose to break off one limb
of our skeleton Army, for It la but a
skeleton. Infantry can be equipped and
trained In a few months, but cavalry
must be kept somewhere near full
strength, for they take time to bring
to efficiency.
By practically abolishing th Tariff
Board the Democrats stultify them
selves, for they voted for Its creation
and have always protested most loudly
against the old system of committee
hearings aa a means of ascertaining
the facts on which duties should be
based. They now leave no alternative
to a return to thatdlecredtted system.
They cut down the allowance for the
Panama Canal on the eve of Its com
pletion by men whose achievements in
carrying forward this stupendous un
dertaking are the admiration of the
world. The people will be slow to be
lieve the charge of extravagance made
by a cneesoparlng committee against
such a man as Colonel Ooethals.
Denial of funds for improvement of
National parks will make no friends
for the Democrscy In the West, where
are most of the parks. The United
States is gaining favor as a resort for
tourists of both our own and other
nations. The beauties and wonders of
nature are the chief attraction to tour
ists. They are a valuable natural re
source, the development of which
would enrich all our people. Just as the
facilities Switzerland has provided for
tourists to visit her lakes and moun
tatins have enriched her.
THE OUtSH HOf-HK OF THE BRITISH
TOK1K4.
The British Tories are experiencing
a taste of the unhapplnetui which be
falls one who ventures to throw atones
when he lives in a glass house. The
occasion of their misery U a debate
on the disestablishment of the Welsh
church. Tha Welshmen are dissenters
for the most part, but they havu an
elaborate Episcopalian establishment
which Is richly endowed and absorbs
a share of the wealth of the little prin
cipality. The people have long desired
to get rid of It, but not until Lloyd
George took up the cause did they ever
enjoy very bright hopes of success.
Now the question of Welsh dises
tablishment has become an exceeding
ly live one. and naturally Mr. Lloyd
George stands out as the champion of
the dissenters. The Tones take the
ground that disestablishment would be
spoliation. The property of the church
Is sacred, they contend. Indeed It is
doubly sacred. Dike all property, it
ought to be inviolate, but as church
property Its confiscation would smack
of sacrilege. Thus tha Tory orators
argue, but as we began by saying, they
dwell In glass houses, and Lloyd
George takes unmeasured delight In
shattering the fragile walls which
shelter them.
He reminds the Tory speakers that
the property of the British established
church was obtained by despoiling the
older church which was formerly es
tablished In the kingdom. The monas
teries were sacked, confiscated and di
vided between the greedy Lords and
the greed'ler bishops. The poor were
robbed by exploitation of endowments
for alms. The dead were robbed
by discontinuing the provisions for
masses. Those who are now so
horrified by the proposal to disestab
lish the Welsh church and divert Its
means to other purposes, says Lloyd
Oeorge, are themselves the benefi
ciaries of wholesale plunder which
spared neither the sacred nor the sen
timental and pillaged both the living
and the dead.
The reply Is shrewd, to say the least,
and Its historical truth cannot be dis
puted. The reformation In Oreat Prlt
aln as well as In Germany was at bot
tom a scramble for the spoils of .the
Catholic Church. Without the substan
tial rewards of wholesale plunder It
could not have held its own anywhere
In Europe.
XKVY TOR It AS A (1TY 1IOMK.
The new head of the People's Insti
tute In New Tork Is Dr. Frederic C
Howe. What makes his appointment
important Is the fact that he Is an
expert In social conservation. Ills
various books on the many modern
problems of civilization are among the
most illuminating that have been writ
ten. The best known of them Is per
haps "The City the Hope of Democ
racy," but the others are suggestive
and Interesting. There la one on 'The
British City," another on "Prlvillege
and Democracy In America,' and
finally a most instructive volume
on "Wisconsin an Experiment In
Democracy."
Dr. Howe belongs to that growing
class of scholarly men whose confi
dence In the American people Is un
bounded. He recognizes that the peo.
pie may be misled now and then and
that they make mistakes even when
they have the best of leadership, but
upon the whole he Is convinced that
the masses are more sane and Intelli
gent than any group of selected Indi
viduals are likely to be. Dr. Howe
also rejects the common opinion that
the great modern city is. a necessary
evil. In his opinion It Is the most
promising product of civilization,
while, on the other hand, civilization
Itself Is a product of the city. As long
as pec le lived In Isolation the devel
opment of art, literature, music and
the theater was out of the question. It
was only after they learner the prac
tice of dwelling In closet communities
that the finer aspects of life began to
appear.
.But Dr. Howe fixes his attention on
what the city might be rather than
on what it Is. He admits that it Is
cumbered with many evils as things
stand, but the evils are Incidental and
capable of cure If we go about the task
Intelligently. The great trouble with
the American city. In Dr. Howe's esti
mation, la lack oforganisatioM. The
social forces which'arise from the pro
pinquity of the Inhabitants are per
mitted to run to waste Instead of be
ing organised and conserved for the
benefit of the public. Perhaps Ameri.
cans have been too much frightened
by the specter of "paternalism" In the
past. Purely Imaginary bugaboos have
prevented them from enjoying many
public conveniences which are avail
able In foreign cities where common
sense l as been preferred to abstract
theories. Er. Howe seems to be of
the opinion that the arrangements of
the American city are about on a par
with those of the medieval household
In which after dinner the bones from
the feast were tossed back on the floor
rushes and a thorough scrubbing was
never heard of. The consequence was
a visitation of the plague about once In
ten or fifteen years. We have pro
grew sad a little beyond this condition
In the matter of physical cleanliness,
but morally our cities are still In the
middle of the rush and bone period.
Dr. Howe looks upon ths People's In
stitute as a means of helping forward
the "home idea" of the city. He re
gards New York not merely ss a place
where people are to do business and
make money, but as a great common
household where the Inhabitants are
to live their lives and get what pleas
ure may be attainable.
The modern conservationist of hu
man Ufa looks upon pleasifra as no
less essential to health and wholesome
living than duty Is. The two are co
ordinate In a well-regulated existence.
The American city has made the terri
ble blunder of leaving the arrange
ments for pleasure In the hands of
those who seek to make money out of
It without any thought of the public
welfare. For example, the only pro
vision there Is for the recreation of
working girls In the typical city Is at
public dance halls snd similar resorts
amid associations which are distinctly
vicious. .
How can a Christian community
reconcile such a state of things with
the creed It professes to believe and
act upon? The activities of the New
Tork People's Institute are directed
toward remedying such mischievous
malarrangement. Some of Its energies
ara naturally devoted to Instruction.
It carries on courses of lectures, pro
vides uplifting reading and so on; but
Its most Interesting work lies along the
line of hygienic entertainment for the
masses of the people. It Is concerned
with the park and playground move
ment. It aspires to develop some of
those social recreations which the gov
ernments of the German cities have
made so profitable.
No doubt the most Important gain
which the People's Institute has made
lately Is the control of one of the New
Tork schoolhouses during the time
when classes are not reciting. What
to do with the schoolhouae Is a matter
of experiment ss yet. Dr. Howe does
not undertake to say how It will turn
out. but he goes shead with abundant
faith. It Is to be made a common
home for the people where they can
do anything they like. Nobody Is to
dictate to them, but of course the Peo
ple's Institute wlH offer advice and
give Instruction when It Is wanted. In
this popularized schoolhouse there are
to be political discussions by anybody
who wishes to give them. Socialism,
anarchism, and the more respectable
theories are all to have a fair hearing.
The assumption Is that truth ta strong
enough to take care of Itself and that
error is best killed out by setting It in
the broad light of day. There are also
to be games, dances, festivals of one
sort and another and parties which
have no other purpose but social en
joyment. The question naturally comes
up whether or not a People's Institute
of this sort could be supported In a
city the size of Portland. The need
for It will probably not be questioned,
but It would cost a pretty penny and
very likely we must wait some years
yet for benevolence to reach the point
of financing It. Still, If any one of our
philanthropists Is In search of an out
let for superabundant resources, no
more promising one could be men
tioned. It may be remarked Inciden
tally, however, that the Young Men's
Christian Association Is promoting
many of the plans which the People's
Institute has taken up In New York.
Since about all the Atlantic liners
are owned by the shipping trust, the
bill passed by the House excluding
from American ports and fining trust
ships may stop almost all traffic be
tween the United States and Europe
If It should' become law. The ship
owners would lose Immense sums, but
so also would the Atlantic ports, the
Importers and the customs revenue. If
the shipowners should resist, a dead
lock would follow and a wail of dis
tress would go up from the Atlantic
seaboard. The Democrats must know
this. It Is safe to assume that the bill
Is buncombe, passed In the expecta
tion that the Senate will reject It, thus
giving the Democrats credit for having
struck a blow at the trusts without
suffering the consequences.
Unless the signs are misleading. Sen.
ator Lorimer's hssty Journey to
Washington Is ths last he will ever
make with his official robes Intact.
His friends have been thinning out
sadly of late, and his enemies grow
more Jetermlned. No Senator who
vpted for Lortmer has ever been able
to hold his seat In the face of popular
loathing. The lesson seems to have
penetrated even the stolidity of stand
pat Ism and Mr. Lortmer is' probably
doomed.
About the most encouraging phe
nomenon which has appeared lately In
the educational realm of this state
was the organization of "The League
for Educational Reform" at Salem the
other day. The league has no hobby
to promote and no spite to gratify. It
alms first of all at a thorough study
of the problem of the higher education
as It Is presented In Oregon. After
that It may propose some constructive
measures.
Forfeiture of bonds by companies
which are sureties for men who seek
diversion by gambling on the races Is
a good preventive of that vice. The
same policy should be applied to clerks
who live at the rate of 11000 a month
on a salary of 1 100 a month.
Breach-of-promlse action having
separated a verdant San Pn-iri
skipper from 110.000 of his fortune, a
aecona enterprising miss seemingly has
gone after the remaining $30,000. She
has married him.
Taffs suggestion of open hearings of
contests at Chicago would have had a
better effect ir the same Idea had not
first been expressed by his opponents.
He has too often merely led the
chorus.
Of course, since convention seats are
so scarce, the eight fair suffragists
might consent to share their seats with
the Oregon delegation. Ifa a poor
chair that will not hold two.
.Captain Greene will find that In
these days of world-wide travel It is
not so easy for a sailor to have a wife
In every port, much less have two
sweethearts In the same port.
Heyburn can be depended upon to
stir up the animals. The valiant Ida.
hoan was born too lata for the "bloody
shirt" era, but la doing very well as a
follow-up.
The answer to the conundrum
"When Is a boss not a boss?" is,
"When he Is on our side." Therefore
Ward. Fllnn and Walter Brown are
leaders, not bosses.
While exchanging courtesies, tha
American and German naval officers
probably compared the fighting power
of each other's ships and crews.
Your Uncls Sam has a wise old nod.
die. The Cubans will kill each other
with discarded Krags and settle the
difficulty.
Fred Dubois' pernicious activity In
bygone years Is held against him. He
has not always been a Democrat, any.
way.
Alaskans are In luck. Million-year-old
Ice In thirteen-year-old bourbon Is
fit to tickle the palates of mining kings.
At all events, a eight of those pretty
Oregon girls will be refreshing whes
the delegates becin to see red.
The smart set of Canada has trouble
ahead. The Duke of Connaught has
appendicitis.
Oregon has seventy-seven new law
yers, each with an eye on the room at
the top.
Better lay in. a reserve supply of
sleep this week. Small chance next.
Tom Watson Is going the way of
those who fight buzzsaws.
Aviation spectators In Seattle ar
safe only In the woods.
AT THE CAFE1ERIA
By Addlaoa Bvaaett.
One refractory lock of the little
blonde's hair was taking all ef her at
tention. By refractory, reference la
made to appearances; ss a matter of
fact, this particular lock was as order
ly as hair may be. It would "stay put,"
no matter what the position. Hut tbe
little Monde was training It to have) a
look of disobedience and abandon a
lock that was bound. In spite of all
tralnlna; and coaxlnff. to Jump out of
Its place every moment and go cavort
ing down Just east ot her left eye past
the bloom of her cheek and hang dang
Una; between her neck and watch
pocket. To see It thus looked like
rarclrsarreaa, but It was studied art.
Just as she had for the fortieth time
arranged It exactly to her liking, the
boaa came along and aaked her how she
would like to arrompany him to the
circus In the'ovenlng. and you may rat
assured she did not refuse As she was
thank ng him for the Invitation, and
wondering at the greet change that
had come over him of late, there cam
stampeding In the) three members ot
the Cafeteria Poultry Company. Limit
ed; with them there was no reformer,
no Brother Obsession.
"I'll bet a conker." remarked the lit
tle blonde) to the boss, "that preacher
looking guy has gone off on a toot. I
se him last night at a movie sound
asleep. I thought then he had a
Jag on."
After the table) was spread with such
luxuries and substantlala as they de
sired, the fat man taking a glaas of
buttormllk and two graham crackers
only, the trio was seated and the con
versation started off with a bang.
"Now. look here. Fat," said Bones. "I
think this feller Obsession, this ex-hoss
doctor, ex-bartender, ex-preacher, ex
book sgeit ez-everythlng that you
ran mention Is a frot wnd a fraud, a
frost snd a fraud, and he will trun us
down Jeait es I'll bet he has trun down
many men and often heretofore."
a a a
"Hold on Jnat a little brUf moment
and let me' get a word In edgeways."
remarked Bones. "Tou can't Havburn
this company, you can't do all of the
talking Lett ua conatder thla 'err
thing: let us see vbare we are at and
where we want to get to. We want
power. We want to flim-flam the In
telligent votera. We want to tear down
all ot the old parties, and It In doing
so It should happn that there should
arise another party, a party of purity,
a party ef decency, a party standing for
the moat good to tha heat pepla
"Meaning and having reference ta
ua," Interrupted Veg.
"Can ws help It, If In purifying this
putrid pool there should honor and
emoluments come) in the form of a dove,
speaking figuratively, and rest on our
shoulders?" continued Bona, "f or some
body has to rule and bona and makes
the laws and fill th offices why not
us? And why can't we nee Obsession
or any other scalawag that can heJp us
along?"
"Speaking of that there dove." re
marked Vftar. "reminds ma that this 'are
Oheesaion dove has already lit on our
shoulders likewise lit In our pnekota.
But we haven't got hurted much. We
make our money pretty eaay. and If we
featl like wasting a few thousand on
thla venture 'taint going to crlpplo ua
none. I am willing to put up twenty
thousand, or twenty-five, Juat for tha
sake of playing the string eut and put
ting a lot of these smart alerka what
think they know all about laws and
lawmaking, all about constitutions and
constitution making those tellers what
thlnka a shoemaker Is a better law
maker than a real learaed law doctor
these fellers what says 'down with the
conventions. ' then twenty of 'era raewta
In the back room of a gin mill and
makes the nominations, these here
fel "
...
"Put the brakes on snd bring your
language to a halt for the space of five
seconds else go hire a hall." Interject
ed Fat. "The question before) the
housex meaning this 'ere pou try com
pany what has turned reformers tha
question is thla as I see it: I have beeti
told by pretty blamed good authority
that, if we get up these here laws aa
long as we Intend to, and as many as
we Intend to, and the other fellers
throughout the state having axes to
grind get up the) usual batch, and wa
have the road laws by the doien or
gross, and the single tax. and the
double tas, and tha no tax, and the law
creating a eommlasion form of govern
ment for the state, and the lew for
.resting counttea, and a dnxen or' two
laws amending tha constitution, and
the law consolidating tha O. A. C. and
university, and the "
"For the love ot Mike." shouted
Bones, "don't wa know the people of
the state are going to do all this and
more? Whst Is eating you?"
"1 will tell you what Is eating of
ma." replied Fat- "Thla la eating of ma
If all of these bills are on the ballot,
and all of the namee of electors are on
the ballot then there won't be no
ballot, for It would take a eheet of
paper a rod square, and then some, to
print It on and there ain't a printing
press In the hull United States big
enough to print It on."
"And another thing." remarked Veg.
"with all of them laws the Mste Print
er couldn't get them printed In a book
and distributed to the) votera as accord
ing to law what than?" '
"What then?" asked Bones and Fat
In one voice. "Why than there would
be? hades to pay and no hot pitch In
readiness. Why It looks now. and our
raady-made lawmakers are Just getting
th-lr lawmaking clothes on. Just get
ting started, just leaving the starting
post, that at the coming election, or the
one to take place two yeara from now,
tha hull darned caboodle of laws and
law tlnkara will tumble
"Don't say It," aald Veg. "Let 'em all
stand until we get a slice of the pie
our ownaelfa, then wa will amend and
tlx 'em up aa they should be fixed."
Aa Tow a Xaaae la gpefcea.
PORTLAND. Or. June t (To the Ed
itor.) What la the correct pronunci
ation ef "Philomath," a small town In
Benton County. Os.T REAtfEft.
Some residents
It Phll-o-math w
of the town pronounoe
nth the accent on tha
while ethers adopt the
second syllable.
pronunciation of
meaning a lover
accented on the
governs In such
knew which side
the word "philomath."
of learning, which Is
first syllable. Custom
cases and we do not
Is In the majority.
Oregon Electoral Vote.
CORVALLI3. Or., June I. (To the
Editor.) Please state how many dele
gates Oregon will have In the next
Electoral College, and the number of
merqhers In the present House of Rep.
resentatlvea. A READER.
Oregon will have five electoral votea
In the coming lection. There are two
House members at present. There will
be three Representatives la the next
Congress.
John Ball, Kale of the Sea a.
Baltimore American.
During the year 111, 40 warships
were launched la the Rrlttah Navy.
These Include eight supeMreednoughts.
carrying 111 Inch guns; two protected
erulsera, two unarmored cruisers. 1
torpedoboat destroyers and five sub
marlnea. These ahlpa aggregated 221.
000 tone and will coat when completed
over ti4.000.000.
A a Aviator's reafraalea.
Ltpplnrotra.
She Aren't you sometimes frigh
tened when away up in the air?
Aviator Well, Til admit I sometimes
feel a sort of arouMiieea apprehension."
WHY IS TKAC'HKR IlM lasr.lt f
She Aefce rotated iaetlaa aa to
Reaaooa far Hrai.vil.
PORTLAND, June . (To the Kdl
tor.) Knowing that The Oregonlan
has always stood for fair play, I ven
ture to ask for a little spare In your
paper. I have been a teacher In the
Portland public schools for lO.yenrs.
During that time I have taught in two
schools and under several principals. 1
have not reached the age at which the
faculties begin to decay, nor la my
health worse than that of moat teach
ers who have spent a deende in the
schoolroom; yet, on May :S 1 received
a notice stating that sfter isrcful con
sideration my aervires would not be
required for the ensuing year.
Kim that time I have been ponder
ing over the tnstter snd have been
able to explain my dismissal only In
one of the following ways:
First I muat have brrn Inefficient
when I entered the service; then why
have I been retained these many years?
Is It possible that there Is eurli In
competency among thone hltcher up
that my Inefficiency was not discov
ered until this year.' Is there any
newspaper ofice, department More or
other business houae that keeps an
emploe 10 yeara before discovering
that he Is unable to do his work prop
erly? Becond As this reflects rather badly
on those In authority, let us grnnt, for
the sake of argument, that when I en
tered the service 1 was a capable
teacher. Can It be that under this
great system of which we hear ao
much, a teacher retrogrades? If at
20, with but a few years' experience,
none as a pupil teacher. I was an able
enthusiastic teacher, ran It be thai
10 years later my lsys of usefulness
are past?
During thla time I have taken art
couraes under the supervisors provided.
I have attended grade meetlnua, count)
Inatltutea and state teachera' aaeocla-
tlons. I have even been present at the
N. E. A. a hen possible, where, by the
way. I met none of our superintend
ents. 1 have also done extension work
under two state unlveraltles, but In
spile of there efforts. It seems 1 ran
no longer do the work of a grade
teacher In Portland.
Third Aa this seems to bring dis
credit upon the system, 1 must reach
some other conclusion.
In my efforts to keep up with the
educational Ideas, have 1 psaved beyond
what Is demanded ni a cog In the ma
chJne? I'erhapa I have shown too
plainly that a certain kind of supervis
ion la Irkaome: e. g tha aaatMant
auperlnt.ndent cornea In and, ss he
paaaea about the room, runa hla fingera
along the chalk trays. Chalk dunt la
found to have eeoumiilated. A report
is made to the principal that the romn
is not kert tidy. My attention hav
ing been called to this, a conscientious
effort Is made, to remedy the matter.
A monitor Is appointed, whoae duty It
Is to wipe the traya with a damp
cloth. A few months later, la It not
hard to hear the report, after a similar
Inspection, "not sufficient board work
done"? llow was this discovered?
Why. there was no dust In the chalk
trays!
In closing, I wish to say 1 am not
seeking reinstatement nor am 1 writ
Ing this to furnlah political capital for
any candidate for school director, but
mereiy In call attention to what aeems
an Injustice to teahers.
Would It not be only a s.iuar deal
to grant the teacher a hearing hefoen
her dismissal? If aha Is to be dropped,
could not notice he given In time to
allow tier to obtain a situation elaa
where? Is this asking too much?
A lilSMIeeUD TKACHKR.
OT.H MORfcI "IIKAH IH AMI " I.KTTI-'.H
Hew tbe Celaael Tease to Urt a Place
I Oder MeKloley.
Hitherto unpul'llaheft letter to Mr. Pal.
lamr Storer from ThMd.ir huoaavalt,
printed aow la liarper'e Weekly.
Oyster Bay, Long Island. N. Y "n (ta
rn ore Hill, lec I. Dear Mrs. Utorer
It would be hard to tell how deeply
touched tdlth and I were at your let
ter; and I never can say how much I
appreciate your Interest and your inoro
than kindness; but It was Just like
you. We have read and re-read your
letter, repeatedly and together; and it
told us exactly what we wished to
know. I cannot thank you enough.
Of course I wrote to McKlnlcy at once
about Bellamy; putting It. not on my
feeling for Bellamy, but on the benellt
I deemed It would be for the party and
the country. Cabot had gone to Can
ton, before your letter came, on Mc
Klnley's Invitation, and without con
sultation with me; I suppose, he spoke
of me; but the foreign policy of the
Administration was what he really
went about. 1 waa Immensely amused
at your encounter with . But there
la one point on which I am a little
Inclined to differ from you. I don't
wish to go to Canton unless MrKlnley
sends for ma. I don't think there Is
any need of It. He aaw me when 1
went there during the campaign: and
If he thinks I sm hot-hesded. a harum
scarum. I don't think he will chance
hla mind now. Whst you have said,
dear Mrs. Utorer, will count tor more
than seeing ma again, as he already
knows me. and dors not need to find
out anything by personal Investiga
tion. Moreover. I don't wish to appear
sa a suppliant; for I am not a suppliant-
I feel I could do good work
as aasiatant eecretary; but if we had
proper police laws 1 could do better
work here, and would not leave; and
somewhere or other I'll tlnd work to
do. If. however. Bellamy Is to be
secretary. I confess 1 would give a
great deal to be under him: and of
course. In view of tha condillona here,
I ahould be glad to take the position
with any good secretary. I am deeply
grateful to you; and I am so vary
fond of you tbat I don't mind being
under obligations to you.
Now for matters of more Importance,
I am very glad you went with Hel
lamy, because It was highly neceaanry
there ahould be some one to ssy what
you said. In view of what McKlnley
aakt there Is no doubt Uellsmy will
be given eome work worthy of him:
and I earnestly hops It would be In
the Cabinet, though the Trench mission
would be almost as good, of cotirae
let me know If there la anything fur
ther for me to do. I'll aee you on
the I2d. By the way, will you ask
Bellamy, what la tha very earliest
train I can take back after the dinner;
I And Edith Is murh disturbed at the
chance of my not being back for the
Cove eVhool Christmas tree, which I
ever miss, and to which Ted thla
year belongs: and to get here I must
take a train from New York about
:&0 on the morning of tbe X 4 tit : so
I must reach New York earlier than
that. Ever yours.
TlUiDORE ROOSEVELT.
Coat of Government.
VANCOUVER. Wash- June 1. -(To
tho Editor.) Please advise me as to
the respective expense of running Ihe
city of New York snd the United isiate.
Government. It.
The World Almanac aaya: Total re
ceipts United Htatoa Government In
111.- 1701. lit. 175, and disbursements,
J.17 New Tork City, total ap
propriations for 111, tls.14,02.tl.
A Haahaad Oa Hla Caard.
New York Satire.
Henpecked Husband la my wife
going out, Dora?
lure Tea. sir.
Henpecked Husband Do you know If
I am going with her?
Oae I-avere Idea ef Love.
Philadelphia Record. .
"Jamea. I wonder how you ran sit
there scd look me In the face!"
"bo do L my dear, but It's surprising
what a really bold, brave, reckless, bad
man caa do.
Fashion's Victim
II y Urns Colllae.
He staggered toWnrd the Judge's desk,
And begged with vigor and with
force.
Demanding a decree at once.
And tho sweet respite of divorce.
"Why," BKkcd the Judge, "Is this thus?
Speak
The man then spake without delayJ
"Inhuman treatment." he replied. 1
"My wife hath swiped tha towols
away.
'Wie tonk, snd forged from one a hat
And from another, built a dress,
I'ntll no towels ubounded In
.My balhruoin or my linen press.
"And when, returning home st eve,
I wanhed my hsnds all free from
dirt.
bhe roared at me In fury, wben
1 wiped them on her brand new
skirt.
"Nor mluht I ,dry my face upon
Her hat. I once essayed to try.
And In my hnste I Jnbbtd. full deep,
A long steel hatpin In my eye.
"I wash my face, and blindly grope.
No nteans to dry it I devise.
For towcla have changed to hats and
things
And so the soapsuds burn my eyes.
"Deprived of towcla from my bath
I'm driven to a sorry pass.
To shake myself sa shakes a dog.
And go and roll upon the grass.
"Oh. cruel Fashion, heartless dame;
At thee I aim my bitter growls.
Who drive two loving hearts apart
Through hats and dresses made from
towels!"
The stern Judge sohbed and wrung his
hand.
"Tie true; and pity 'tis 'tis true!
But bear your rrose and go your way
Next year they will have something
new.
"Next year .they'll seek some other
scheme
To give imme Fashion's fancy play
Then mayst thou wipe on cast off hats.
Thy soapsuds and thy tears sway."
Dean Collins. Portland. June 4.
liaif a Century Aga
From Tha Oresonlan nf June It. laS2
Tim M'nionl malorltlea In the coun
tlea a? far heard from ara about as
follows: Multnomah 440, Columbia 17,
Clatsop 43. Wasco t, Clackamas 4n,
Lane "0, Kenton 42, Marlon 6,1, Yam
hill 2ii, Washington 227; total 2211.
We learn that the people of Ht
Helens had a Jolly time among them
on the day of election. About 4I fights
no less, are said to have occurred; ii
shirts badly torn, Ja bloody nnaea. 14
black ryes, It backs dusted, 140 hut
Ions lost. 12 palra of suspendera burst-
ed. kens of lager and 1 gallons of
whlnkv consumed, the ground conain
erahly torn up, besides Innumerable
scratches, kicks, biles, etc.. etc.. ara
raid to have been the raault ut tha
day's disturbance. I
The votera of Falls Precinct. Wasco
County, a ere denied the privilege of
voting bv a secreh luilge or election,
who had carried away the poll hooks
and said ha would not have anything
to do with the election. Keason tlicJ
t'nlon men were In the majority.
The San Francisco telesraphle dls-4
patches to the I'nlon. under data olJ
May 2K. say: "A lot on r.earney nren.i
near Clay, 25 by f.O feel, sold todays
at auction for I8K7S. A lot on auaeioni
atroel, near Heale, ft hy 127 fcel.1
brought :i:i00.
On the !.:! of ..prll a party of 1 Bj
men left tha Killer Itoot alley, houn.I
for Salmon Itlver, eight daa" travel J
i-tih k animals. The leaders were
Messn.. McKnlRhl, C.erd snd LouIrA
Simmons. In one nlht the iiannocksi
inu all thev had. homo sre kllle.fl
snd some supposed to be starved tJ
death. Mr. uora was immu r -miner,
who waa prospecting 150 mllee
.... t,. iw,n- in waa nearly starved to
death. lie Is as yet the only one1
found.
About 200 men are In the mines. TheJ
gold yet found la on the flats and in
the gulches. Moors of 12. SO to have
been found Those who go there need
- w ..i .i u u . laru sums. Good
wages Is all that at present can h
looked for say from i up. i
largest auin t taken out has been)
$74 for three men in one dsj(.
r. It. Wakefield, F.aq.. Just down
feom tiro Kino, brings favoraoie ao-
cotinta from the mines. The claims
thai were opencu rv " - - r ' i
Ing well snd a large amount ot trees'
uru was being got out.
The City Cnunell met last evening!
Th. committee on streets anej puntic
property were directed to report an or
dinance tor ins gramng -
ton street from Second to Park atreeL
At "Ed" Howe See. Life
I'm" not partletilarly modest, but k
hope I'll never have an operation per.
formed, and be cared for by a woman
nurse.
I sometimes think thst stepchildren
exaggerate their wrongs as much r
the people exaggerate theirs.
If you want to feel the morning gln-t
ger, avoid the highball nigntcap.
The loafer cuts a big figure In poli
tics, where he "gets even" for many;
affronts offered him In business ana
In society.
The next thing you hear about a1
man who has become famous is thsU
he wants a divorce.
An optimist Is a man who wants
credit for telling white lies.
If a thing Isn't In you, no amount olj
effort can get It out.
No man ever accomplished aa much
as he expected, and you can't.
It's a pity that other questions can'lsj
be settle,! aa eltecttiauy as aupremar? J
In baseliall Is semen; practically n-
one disputes that Philadelphia had the
best club last year. Hut the people
quarrel about everything else.
Krware of a boomer; money Inst In
a hurated boom la aa effectually lort
as though it were lost In a train rob
bery. A Nervous Tlsae at lllnaer,
Johnstown (O.) Telegram.
Little ltobert did full Justice to Ma
dinner, but showed signs of uneasiness
when hla aunt passed him some gela-J
tine for dessert. "It's fine, Ilohert,1
won't you hsve some?" said tba aunt,
"Maybe It la good," replied Kobert.
eyeing the quivering mass, "but. It
looks so nervous."
The Price ef (lee lluahaaa.
Boston Transcript.
Tag Assessor :n you give me some
Idea ot what your husband la worth?
Lady Iteally, air, I don't know; but
I wouldn't take a million dollars for
him.
hare ef Oae of Two Fmerea.
Life.
Tarson It you keep out of O'Brien's
saloon you may go to heaven.
Parishioner I'm euro of O'Brien's
saloon.