TITE MORNING OREGONIAX. SATURDAY, 1UGUST 12, 1911. '
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PORTLAND. ftATt RDAV. AlGleT 1. ItlU
THE CRKAT rAKTXTIWHIP.
The Underwood bill represented a
reduction of approximately 60 per cent
frnm the present "Indefensible" wool
tariff. The La Follette bill proposed
a cut In raw wool of about 12 per
rnt. Now a S per cent ad valorem
duty U the product of the Joint genius ,
of La Follette. high protectionist, anu
t'nderwood. tnomlnal) free trader.
For Underwood, now for protection,
promises free trade aa an ultimate
soma dar. -when the country la ready
for It and It will not hurt anybody.
About five yeara from now. perhaps.
Meanwhile Underwood Is for stiff
protection high protection on wool
ind woolena, So are the Democrat,
all of them. Why? Why do they
nullify their record, traverse their
ery expression, reverse every pro-
" feaeed Democratic policy. Ignore every
previous Democratic tariff bill, bur-
, )iue the tenets of Morrison and Wll-
on and Mills-? Why?
Becausa the Democrats have em-
barked on a buccaneering enterprise
J w ith the Inaurgent Republicans to
wreck tha Taft Administration. That
'l all.
? ENGLISH AD CHIMK-
It might displease some of our rabid
haters of tha Oriental If tha learned
should finally decide that the Chinese
Unruif Is the most highly developed
In the world: but there Is some proba
bility that they may do so. Dr. Ed-
.ward flaplr. of the Canadian Geologi
cal Survey, who knows a great deal
about Chinese, rather Inclines to the
opinion that It has advantages over
'any other tonrue and felt free to say
as much the other day In a lecture be
fore the savants of the Pennsylvania
University. It employs only the slm-r-
plest possible means, he says, but It
van express the most technical or
' philosophical Ideas with absolute tack
-f ambiguity and with admirable con
. cL-enesa and directness.- This Is high
' praise. We have been accustomed to
hear almost the same said about Eng
lish, though It Is seldom held that our
language is free from ambiguity. It
'la all but Impossible to say anything
.In English which cannot be made to
mean something else by a little In
genuity. The emphasis of the voice
i an make wonderful transformations
dn the algnlflcance of a sentence.
Tha formula "John struck James"
-nsy appear at the first glance "abao
Tlutely free from ambiguity." and no
'doubt It la so when written, but not
when spoken. The TOlce. by Its In
tonations, can make It pasa through
ioj variety of meanings from a simple
i.rtement of fact to a question, a de
1 r.lal or a scornful exclamation .of sur
- prise. We have heard a great deal
. about the Influence of Intonation upon
the significance of Chinese words.
5 Foma say that the language never can,
tbe reduced to phonetic writing be-
tause the voice has so much to do
! with what tha speaker means. Some
thing similar waa the case with the
I Chinook Jargon, as every pioneer
J knows. It had no degrees of compar-
Ison In the grammatical sense, but tha
speaker could easily make an adjec
f tiva pasa to tha superlative degree by
. the way he uttered It. We doubt
"w hether Intonation Is not as Important
In English aa In Chinese. When the
curves of the voice can completely re
; versa the aignWcance of a printed
j form. could scarcely expect to find
anything more effective, no matter
where we look.
Dr. Saplr remarks that In Chlnesa
J the position of the words In the aen
' tence Is everything. The meaning does
1 not depend at all on grammatical In-
fectlona. Thla Is substantially the
case with English also. But In both
t languages It Is only In print that poel
' tlon la ao Important. When the worda
L are spoken, any arrangement can be
made to mean anything you Ilka by
the orator"s Intonations. Chinese, ac
cording to Dr. Saplr. belong, to what
;ts called the "Isolating type" of lan
.' i iiki In which word forma are never
! altered by Inflection. The verba are
!fiot conjugated, which Impllee. by the
way. that there are no Irregular verbs.
1 a boon to learners. The noune aaa
no ending to signify the plural num-
ber. and adjectivea are not compared.
The units of tha language are like peb
bles or little pieces of wood whose po
sition can be changed at will, but their
" , form never. It seems aa If such a
'language ought to be easy to learn, but
tha common report la that Chinese U
1 repellar.tly difficult. Comparatively
few persons have mastered It In spite
cf a good deal of commercial advan
tage In being able ot speak and
write It.
Perhaps tha difficulty lies not so
".much In tha language Itself aa In the
way It Is represented on paper, t-icn
'Chinese word haa a fixed aymbol. and
the language cannot be written until
tbesa have been committed to mem
' trv. Tha task would be terrible, even
If tha symbol were as simple In out-
i line as our letters, but the truth Is that
-they are extremely complicated. Ac
" cording to scholars, there are some
'. 10.000 of them. Oood Chinese liter
ry mea are supposed to remember
the whole array, but they begin to
"learn them In childhood and never
learn anything else. The process Is
' armcthlng like learning to spell Eng-
. llnh. which Is so difficult that It puta
our schoolchildren three or four yeara
.' behind German boys and girls of the
same age.
English la not a completely "Isolat
rg" language, but It movea In that
direction. Formerly our tongua had
.many Inflections, and It retains some
of them, but they are dropping away.
Verbs were once conjugated In the
subjunctive mood. Writers occasion
ally use the subjunctive still, but It
sounds archaic In mo?t cases. The
o'ain Indicative will servo the same
with mora simplicity and
therefore more efficiency. To express
ftsure time some writers feel com
pelled always to employ auxiliaries
like "shall" and "will." Now and then
they are Indlopensable. but very often
tha future Idea comes In of Itself. For
example. It Is needless to go to the
trouble of saying "If John shall go to
town tomorrow he will meet hi
mother." The same thought Is belter
conveyed by the simple formula "If
John goes to town tomorrow he will
meet his mother." The genius of our
speech dispenses more and more with
grammar. Thla amounts to saying
that It becomes more and more like
the Chinese. Perhaps there may
some time be a contest between these
two languages for "the supremacy of
the world. Aa things now stand. Eng
lish would have the advantage, for
our spelling, with all It horrors, la
not ao frightful as the Chinese word
signs, but prorresa sometimes comes
on rapidly In tha Orient. Nobody can
tell how soon the Chinese may cut off
their plglaOa and adopt a phonetic al
phabet. When they do so their lan
guage may perhaps enjoy a fair pros
pect of becoming Ihe speech of the
world.
THE MATTE WITH PORTLAND.
A valiant soldier of the Civil War,
making an address at a Grand Army
gathering near Vancouver tne oiner
day. drew a dark picture of the fu
ture, for "graft haa faaiened on nearly
everything in the country." Another
veteran, acknowledging the prlls that
surround our institutions, rpr-u
the conviction that the "country will
not be ruined." but that In tha end
the "common people will rl HP na
...t an .ni to arafL lust aa they con
quered the hldeoua monster of rebel
lion during the dark daya of 'l-'65.
The Oregonlan yesetrday contained a
k.ie An-mn nu.a stories, based on one
form or another of graft, or corruption.
or misfeasance In public omce. ah re
lated to the secret and criminal
deeds, or misdeeds, or .alleged mis
deeds, of various officials and other
more or less well-known persons of
Portland and Multnomah County.
The superintendent of a rockplie
had accepted $100 for the unlawful
-.i-.-. r,r . nrionnor. Two detectives
and a private detective agency were
making chargea ana counter craij
.nln.p nno, another crowing out of
the recovery through alleged Illicit
means of a quantity of etolen goods.
An Impeccable lawyer, known chiefly
through his championship of certain
oisreputaoio i;in-ni v ......
.h.-m nf arraft by -blackmail
against a detective and a newspaper
reporter. A public orricer u .
k. - fnrr m nrt woman of extort
ing II from her. A police sergeant
was dismissed by the Myor for "in
competency with tha plain Implica
tion that thera ere serious speclflo
reasons. And so forth, and so forth.
The papers are full of chargea. accu
sations, animadversions. Intimations,
Inslnuatlona and Innuendoea or croox.
ednees. dishonesty and rascality:
but mostly charges. accusations,
etc, etc. The very air la clamorous
with the olitcrr against the unfaith
ful police and the peculating detec
. i.- ant ntbor officials. The din and
clangor for reform resound through
the highways and bywaya. uran.
graft everywhere, but not a grafter in
Jail. ,
Tha Mayor Is shocked ana appanea.
mrA i (wrnmliif suspicious that
something Is wrong and he is going
to do something now pretty soon, n
i i-i.i.r mwA aurririaod Police Com
mission Is industriously prying Into
things day and night, being convinced
that the late Simon police administra
tion waa not all It should have been
and that somebody, somewhere, some
how, did not do a he snouia nave
done. Tha new Chief of Police
has tasued a lot of timely admonj
tiona and valuable observations, and
stands ready to wield tha ax when
ever somebody or other says the
word. The District Attorney was
never ao busy assembling his corps
r .....mnhin to draw Indictments
and thus spread dismay In the ranks
of the wicked lawbreakers, i ne in
rin,iiu hoata of a regolute official
dom are grandly moving on. They
are a trifle uncertain aooui wnere
they are going, but they are on tneir
wav.
These are the significant things the
public sees and hears In a single day
every day. There Is a vast lot of
thundering In the Index. Meanwhile
the trains ara loaded with gamblers.
m.rantrMui. touts, outcasts, para-
altea, loafers, pimps, confidence men,
common women and the off-colorlngs
and off-scourlnga or every snaae. va
riety, complexion and breed, who
have heard that the "town la open"
and that the paaturea are green and
the feeding good. Why are they com
ing here? Who sent them the word
that encouraged them to flock 'In
from every quarter? Who volun
teered to give them immunity and pro
tection? Why the spectacle here now
of a rejoicing and unrestrained under-
-M
It Is child's play for the Mayor to
"Investigate" conditions that are ob
.iai. m all and to suggest that he la
going to leave the "vice policy" of
his administration to a commlsaion of
disinterested citizens. It Is Idle to
blame the Impotence of the police
and the disorganisation and Insubor
dination of the police force on tha
i-u ..-- ruiM. it Is nonsense1 to
pretend that a stern policy of pro
.iniinn riilmt the army of unde
sirables now here cannot at once be
formulated and enforced. It la time
for firm and definite action and lesa
talk. Doubt, hesitation and vacilla
tion by the authorities are the oppor
tunity of the vicious and lawless. Tha
way to enforce tha law la to enforce
the law.
rCTCM HATE THEIR PREATIGE.
The British peera might paraphrase
a famous epigram by saying: "All
Is lost save prestige." Having been
forced to choose between giving up
the shadow of power which they had
foolishly Imagined to be a reality and
having It taken away from them by
the creation of a awarm of new peers,
they give It up rather than subject
the peerage to the loss of social pres
tige which would follow a flood of
new peers. For the creation of 800
new neers at ona time would make a
title so cheap aa to be an object of
ridicule. In order to command re
spect among the tuft-hunters, tha
holder of an ancient title would have
to print the date of Its creation after
It on letterheads, etc, as a college
graduate might write "Harvard 'oT"
after his name.
The Impression that the House of
Lords la even mainly composed of
descendants of barons and statesmen
of the middle ages Is wrong. Prob
ably the majority of present peerages
date little further back than the revo
lution of Kit. Tha peerages which
were created oy nuam m
queror were almoet extinguished In
the Wars of the Roses and Henry
VIII disposed of a few more by exe
cutions. Charles II replenished the
supply by conferring dukedoms on
his Illegitimate sons by French mis
tresses. William II raised to the
peerage some of the Dutch generals
and admirals who won the throne for
him. Since then the regular supply
of peers from among statesmen, law
yers, generala and admirals haa been
added to In a yearly larger degree by
the conferring of titlea on rich manu
facturers, merchants and other busi
ness men who gave liberally to the
campaign funds of the party In power.
In fact, though the secret has been
Jealously guarded, there Is said to be
a regular ecale of prlcea for dttferent
titles, ranging upward from a barony,
vhlch la the lowest. Tha campaign
contributor la rewarded In Gr'a'
Britain with a peerage as he would
be rewarded In the United States with
. - i..if a Kiir-
an etnoa or www ' -j
cessful lawyer climbs to the front .
rank until he becomes Lora i nancei
lor with an hereditary title.
But no sooner does a brewer attain
a peerage than his blood changes
from red to blue and he Imagines
himself to be made of different ma
terial from the "common people." So
strong is the Influence of association
that men elevated to the peerage d
- T.iv.-rii minlstrv to Increase Its
scanty following In the upper house
have developed into true mu i '
In a few years, though they nave oeen
known aa rampant Radicals In the
u... v j'immnna Had Asaulth cre
ated B00 new peers to swamp the Tory
majority, his artificially created major
ity would gradually have melted away.
The entire atmosphere of the House
of Lords Is suffused with Toryism and
the creation of now peers is
mniroshlft which must be repeated
every tlma the two houses clash. By
restricting the Lords' veto Asqulth
has adopted the only practicable
means of preventing Its continually
blocking legislation until Its constitu
tion Is entirely changed.
A DISCOl RAOINQ RF.rORT.
t i ., -ii T-ni-lnl n w to learn from
Dr. C. 8. White s report that the rural
birth rate In Oregon la greaetr than
that of the cities. Thla la the rule
everywhere. But It does startle one a
little to be told that there are counties
in n-oo-nn where the death rata
equals and In some cases even ex
ceeds the birth rate. This Is race aui
.m. with vonaeance. If the King
of Terrora obtains an easy victory over
life In a new state IlKa uregon. wimi
havoc must he be working in tne
nnmrniiTiiilni? So far as rural
Oregon Is concerned, the blight of
aterllity doea not seem to have struck
. n-t,. k.,-,an i-ai-ai atlll thrives In
the meadows of the Willamette and
throughout the Inland Empire. Baker
i. nna In a creditable list of counties
which exhibit a birth rate about dou
ble their death rate, Would that tne
same might be said of Marion and
it..it.Amfih fialom annears to have
experienced the fate of almost every
capital city, small aa It is. -eopie
rinir to these nlsces are usually
In search of retired comfort. Their
famines have been reared and dis-
tt ta riardlv to be expected
that many children should be born In
their households.
Portland no doubt la like other
loroo nltiea in respect to Its compara
tive birth and dtsth rates. The for
mer tends to decline, the latter to in
crease. Were it not ror a constam in
flux of fresh blood from the country,
city-bred mankind would become ex
tinct Like animals in captivity, men
do not reproduce their kind very uo
cessfully within city limits. Vigor
comes from contact with the soil. But
it must be confessed that the soil doea
not always Impart vigor.
The Oregonlan quoted the other day
some discouraging figures which show
that depopulation is proceeding apace
on New England farms. As one race
after another takea possession of
those regions It losea Its fertility and
begins to die out. There Is some
ground for hope that Oregon will not
follow this bad example. Our climate
and general climatic condltlone re
semble those of England so closely
that perhaps our population will con
tinue as prolific as their British for
bears, at least on the farms. Very
likely the towns are hopeless cases.
Ephralm la Joined to hia Idols. Let
him alone.
MR. ROOSEVELT" DISTINCTION.
The parallel drawn between the
action of President Roosevelt In elimi
nating the waterfront of Eyak and
Valdes arm and the action of Presi
dent Taft In eliminating the water
front of Controller Bay. Alaska, from
the Chugach National forest haa
attrred the Colonel to a defense. He
..i.iinin in riraw a distinatlon be
tween the two act though he admlta
the Justice of the parallel. e sas
that the conditions surrounding each
case must decide the course of the
n.n.nnri and bases his criticism
of Mr. Taft's course In the Controller
Bay case on the difference in
The point of difference which he
emphaslxea la tha fact tnat ne am noi
know that the Guggenhelms were
operating In Alaska, while Mr. Taft
ju tt- aa not know "that
there waa the slightest danger of the
Guggenheim syndicate, or any other
syndicate. obtaining control of
Alaska," though their operations had
been proclaimed In the newspapers
. - . i w. ,iiA
inn, hrore inev oearan m uun
1 1 -
It la not easy to conceive what great
jii . v. nn.rat1nni nf the Gur-
aiuririiv.o 1 w - -
genhelms should make In the course of
the two Presidents. r. nouctn
must have been familiar enough with
ll. .Ira xnnHltlona to IcnOW that Only
men of large capital could develop coal
mlnea and that tne men wno owiiru
the coal mines would wish to control
the railroads and shipping facilities.
He must have Known inai incj -seek
control of the waterfront ho elim
inated. Whether they were the Gug
genhelma or any other men made no
fllfference to the result. Mr. Taft knew
that the Guggenhelma were operating
In Alaska and acted with full knowl
edge of the fact. He eliminated the
Controller Bay waterfront to facilitate
the operations of Mr. Ryan'a company,
a rival to the Guggenhelma, but with
the knowledge that Mr. Ryan could
secure only alternate tracts and there
fore could not secure a monopoly. If,
after building his railroad. Mr. Ryan
should sell it to the Guggenhelms. the
Government cannot prevent the aale.
but In granting a charter for the road
It can guard against any evil results
from such a sale.
In speaking of a possible monopoly
of Alaska by the Guggenhelms. Mr.
Roosevelt shows that he haa not fully
realised the Immense size of Alaska,
the variety of Its resources or the cost
and difficulty of Its development. Not
even the wealth or tne uuggennenno
Is sufficient to monopolize Alaska.
Their name is a bugaboo to the con
servationists, but It remains for the
President and Congress to derive all
the good for the public out of their en
terprise and to guard against all evil
results of their monopolistic proclivi
ties. Mr. Taft Is working along the same
Hnea as Mr. Roosevelt worked in try
ing to bring about the development of
iio.ka without sacrifice of the public
interest, or waste or monopoly of its ,
resources. He should re given iuh
credit for doing so, and his acts should
not be viewed with suspicion Inspired
by Mr. Pinchot. The only good pur
pose which can be served by contro
versy between the President and his
predecessor is to center attention on
the urgent need of laws for the de
velopment of a long-neglected and lit
tle known territory.
TVio ncrnrrences at the City Jail the
other night, when "Lizzy-Mandy was
a dandy" was being renaereo. d- an
Inmat. m K V nOSSlhlV SUEgeSt SOmO
valuable new disciplinary resources to
Jailers and wardens, unaer tne tor
ture of the coon song, it is reported
honiMt rasps suffered acute
ly. Many of them- groaned In agony.
Very well. hy not sing -untie
wing" to the habitual drunk when he
comes to Jail? Would he ever come
again? A single treatment with al
most any rag song might ba expected
to reform a hardened wife-beater by
The possibilities of the method are
making the prison a place of horror.
Infinite.
Th. .rrnrta of the Canadian Tories
to switch the campaign to other issues
K. Mlnrnrltr la A hODeful Sign for
Laurier, who should certainly be able
to fasten the voters' attention on that
n.u 1..11A Aa the rrotected manu
facturing interests are mainly in the
Eastern provinces and the agricultural
Interests mainly In the West, it Is
n..it. nnasihla that the Liberals may
lose strength In the East, but equally
likely that they will make compensai
rin in tha West. Should Champ
Clark's lll-advlsed speech on annexa
tion be used by tne Tories, its biibl-i.
will be counteracted by the quotation
of Taft's speeches against that policy.
Th. -Panama-Pacific Exposition at
San Francisco In 1915 will be for the
benefit of the whole Facine coast,
and it rests with each atate to see
that it gets Ita share of the benefit.
The recommendation of Colonel H. E.
Dosch that Oregon have an inrorma
tn wA immigration bureau at the
exposition Is wise, for only by such
means can Oregon secure ner enare
.i ih. inmMni and settlers who will
be attracted to the Pacific Coast.
Th o-nanot haa finally nrevalled over
the law In lola. Kan., to the credit of
the town, in our opinion. It was In
lola that a modern. Daniel sentenced
a woman to break stones In the chain-
gang. The Mayor interposed ana par
doned her. This saves Kansas from
a humiliation which ought to have
made every man within Its bordera
blush for shame. Is it impossible for
lola to elect sensible Judges as well
as Mayors?
The plain Inference from the lan
guage of Mr. Perkins, Judge Gary and
their Ilka la that they want the trusts
made part of the Government, with
public officials In at least partial con
trol of them. Sooner or later most of
our public officials will be elective. The
movement In that direction Is unmis
takable. . Will the time come when
the voters of the country will choose
the President of the whisky trust?
With natural reluctance, but with
true British stoicism when face to face
with fate, the House of Lords haa
voted away ita veto. It was a poor
thing, after all. not worth quarreling
over. Ten years from now, when the
peers have taken up their new and
greater taska, they will wonder at the
disturbance they made over a trifle.
The allied lords and laborers will
bring social salvation to England.
Congratulations are due J. Hennessy
Murphy for the fight he put up and
won against the Denver people who
would despoil the estate of a dead
Portland girl. The Judge's disposition
to fight windmills (British) by way of
diversion does not lessen his ability to
make good when he tackles the real
thing.
H. C. Frlck's retirement from the
Union Pacific board Is a case of sub
mission to the spirit of the anti-trust
law, though its letter was not violated.
He is free from the arrogance which
prompts most captalna of Industry to
defy the law.
James J. Hill's Conservation Con
gress this year will discuss soil. Last
vear the subject was public lands and
the year before the forests. By and
bv the body may' take up the-bald-headed
man and hls need of conser
vation. .
s If the liquor dealers who observe
tha law would Join hands with the
law. they would soon drive sucn iei
i E-o.nir Mava out of business".
Men of his stamp are recruiting agents
for the Prohibition party.
u,n-ni.-vinB- la about a month off
and the man who contracts at present
prices may misa nair aa mum
Tho world must have the Oregon hop
at any price.
Now the Water Board can see what
t. onri none" bv compelling
people to arise at unseemly hours to
Irrigate, The eany morning u.n
are to start half an nour sooner.
May Joe Morrison return from
Llnnton much Improved in neaun auu
morals by' his labors at tne quarry.
People from the prairie states need
. W a Ta,
a pocket compass ana map wrim
penetrate Oregon timber.
tx-.ivi tha a-Rsoltne market. Stand.
ard Oil had to pay 4S.S5 costs In the
dissolution suit.
Making flour from skim milk may
be feasible, but making pork is sure
and profitable.
So long as the stock keeps ahead
of the reaper, Oregon need not fear
race suicide.
One of the grave affairs agitating
Seattle Is an alleged combine or un-
dertakera.
i h hattleshlD Oregon Is
ready.
PRESS OPIXIO or LAFFKRTT
Eugene Register. .
It is about time Congressman Laf
ferty gave more attention to law-making
and less-to other things that put
him into the limelight in no enviable
fashion.
La Grande Observer.
Colonel Lafferty should devote his
spare time to that enlarged home
stead bill he promised his constituents
before election, and not be so handy
with his pen.
Amity Standard.'
The least that can be said about the
Lafferty affair Is that Governor West
has a right to expect an early resigna
tion from the Second Congressional
district representative.
Ealem Journal
Congressman Lafferty might with
some effect ask that of his critics those
Innocent among them should first
cast a stone." It isn't the Innocent
ones who sre throwing the rocks, but
rather the "wise ones."
Roseburg News.
Lots of men "se things that look
good to them" but unlike Congress-
T-r rh.v Hnn't nut it down
man wt'i"1! J - , , . ,
on paper. . . Presuming that the
reports concerning Mr. Lafferty are
true, that arentleman should uncere
moniously be "fired" by an outraged
constituency.
Roseburg Review.
Under the new reapportionment law.
I. . . i tiarl tn another Congress-
man. But while she is about it she
ii i wn now Representatives
to the lower house of Congress, one of
them to displace lanen j"- -quickly
as the recall law can be put
Into operation.
Pendleton East Oregonlan.
. i- aM (mnrnnpr man for Ore
gon to have In Congress.. The People
of this state do not sanction Insults
to little trlrls. Lafferty should resign
or ne snouia o ""--' "
- -i.t nidur the Oresron
can. w 1 ' .--
system. It U now up to the people
z. . . , j ,A .hnw tvnt under the
Oregon vtera the people may quickly
... . w.i, -A-v.nt wnon n ft
get rid oi a puwm; , ( . . -
proves nimHen uu j .
TutaAtnrA Mall-Tribune.
. . i T.ffnif'i rttnl name Is not
Arthur W. as he once proclaimed, nor
Amldon W. as ne wr
. , i tit 'v.11 m Abe. boys as
he said during the campaign. he
mysterious initial a. oo
either for Algernon nor Alfonso, but
for Ananias. and as Ananias w.
(Romeo) Lafferty he snouia oe ""
to fame. . J . ,
For such cases as Laneriy-s. waa iu
recall devised.
ijthnnnn Criterion.
tt-- ...-,n.rhit. with the Second Con
gressional district or tnls state In the
i.i i t... in ronreaent it in Con-
areas. The young erirl masher is bad
, i A i .., a -
enough anywnere. oui m a. r,
1 . 1 ...thliiVlhl
II1M II 11 l. ' " i- ' - -
Just think of Lafferty ana Bourne
examples of statesmen to represent a
new and growing state in the Congress
of the country. The tender-footed East
will think us the -wna ana woui.jr
West sure enough.
Pendleton Live Wire.
. j j .tt.t nf A. W
t rienaa auu t. . . . -
. anM.h,t ahncked and
1.H IT en y sro
creatly disappointed by the stories of
his personal misconuui i.
from Washington. In its most con
servative phase the story is serious
w r. onnuirh to spell de-
feat for A. W. Lafferty, Representative
from Oregon. unless nc i
repudiate the story in some more sub
. .... ... .u-n mt nroaont. he may
stanuai wjr .. -
as well retire gracefully from politics.
Otherwise, he win nna niuioc
out.
Unnn Tllver NWS.
. . TT'nl -- T afTortv. ConBTeSS-
ADrBDPni ci.... - - - .. . . .
.v.- Cfnnn OraaTon district.
has sucoeded in covering himself with
odium at the National Capital, " the
press dispatches be correct Mr. Laf
ferty has been devoting his energies
more toward attempts to captivate the
fair sex than ir seemiy tor oi
man particularly a statesman chosen
. . w i w t w nrrn thrnuch the channels
ji..i r,.imttrw-anti-corrupt
practices route. An attempt to redeem
some or xne pi - -
to nlB COnBliiu-eu- Ir" - -
i ..nriAiihtcrilT be more atTre
UOn. WUUIV U Q,r
elated than any ucca o ."-j
as a Don juan.
' a- ii ; - na-KAttA. Times
s4 .o.wii -
. . . n orifl swallowed
We strain . -
a camel. Had Lafferty, the despised.
t vaui tko nhorm nir
happened to .nave "w,v,;tro-
MISS K.UDC1 in m , "-
duced by even a casual acquaintance
. . ... 'i, h.vo been well, even
OI DO 1 11 '
though Lafferty were more of a scoun
drel than ne appear, m
. n vr Kubel been re-
ieny a uieos v
ceived differently and the acquaintance
ripened into notning wuioo
. i. nnt Imnosslble even
though Lafferty were less a man than
ha appeara to db, mo I""- ,
. ... j.ii.kirui stories of the
brougnt u a u11" .
romance surrounding tne marr age of
one of Oregon's tongrmui". "..m
. --...-. ralrst daughters.
or wasningiuu .j
a high school girl whose Ilkanwa in a
great newspaper ....... ----
?' . .-. ha nvorstenned the
oTund, "and VaTd WrT heart : i I fortune
at her feet even before he had hunted
upVome friend to say for him: "Mis.
Kubel. permit me
ikuu". r. . . r .ffertv deserves
a-klc joo bad that
pBno KuDei laiieu 1 - -
worse things are left unnoticed as we
strain at tne gnau
i .rr.rrr and the Recall.
. 11 iTo the
Sa thr ,1-b. appued
to the Hon. Mr. iane. 11 . -
gressmen and tomcats .exempt?
If so. what, would be the most deli
cate method of intimating to a gentle
man of hia passionate nature that a
TesPgnatlon was in order? I. h.r. any
truth in the report that Miss Ella
Wheeler Wilcox Is contemplating run
ning for Congress on the Sweetheart
tic-icat? If not. why not?
ticket? n JOSEPH MGEB.
The recall Is doubtless not applica
ble to a member of Congress. The Con
stitution provides that each house of
Congress alone shall be the Judge ot
the qualifications qf its own' members;
and the Federal statutes, besides, con
trol the elections. The State of Oregon
might possibly "recall" Lafferty. but
the House at Washington need not on
that account disqualify him from mem
bership. a a
Stung. '
Moonlight soft and silVry,
Grass begemmed with dew.
Summer breezes sighing,
A canoe brand new.
Water gently washing
Banks of shadowy hue.
Sleepy birds a-twitter.
A canoe and two.
Just by chance I saw them.
Though they never knew.
Drifting in the moonlight,
A canoe brand new
, Just two one Sue!
Elizabeth Wallace.
Corvallls. Or.
The Battle of the Columbia
Oh. they've loosed the toothless dogs
of war
Down where Fort Stevens stands.
And theoretical battles' roar
Shakes broad Columbia's sands.
Where each loyal native son
Helps to man the monster gun.
And dreams about the theoretical
Glory to be won.
Imaginary foemen come
A-salline o'er the sea.
Ethereal squadrons throng about.
With grim hostility;
And the searchlights to and fro
O'er the heaving waters go.
To seek the fancied foemen out.
So we can lay them low.
Fainting into his comrades' arms,
The captain staggers! See.
A hypothetical rifle ball
Has hit him In the knee!
'Mid fancied bullets flying near,
A hundred men are dying here:
Oh. haste to drive the foemen back.
Or they'll get tired of lying here.
Closer upon the surging sea.
The spectral warships ride:
Now soldiers put some theoretical
Shot holes In their side:
Boom, boom!" The cannons' roar!
Enough! They need no more!
They're sunk, and all the waves are rea
With hypothetical gore.
Now load the guns another time.
And in the salty main.
By way of making certain.
Well sink tnem an again.
Above the field, on high.
While In theory they die.
Grim Mars will shake his gory locks
And wink the other eye.
TIs thus we rally round the flag
In mimic war, my mates.
To save from hypothetical foes.
Our Lares and Penates;
Next day the papers' story
Shall describe the struggle gory (7)
And tell our friends at home about
Our theoretical glory.
Dean i;ouina.
Portland, August 11. 1911.
GREAT
YEAR IN EXPORT TRADE
Enonnoni Pro portions of Vnele Sam's
Forelara Business.
Indianapolis News.
Th rietalla of our trade with for-
Is-n nations durinar the fiscal year 1911
are not yet available, but the principal
totals have been published, mey snow
that our Imports amounted to $1,527,
985,088 and our exports to $2,048,691,
392. We bought $28,962,342 less abroad
last year than we did In 1910, and we
sold other countries $303,706,672 more.
Foreign peoples, last year, oougni
$520,706,304 more from us than we aia
from them. This has never Dern
equaled, except in 1907-08. and then
only on account of the abnormally
stimulated conditions at the time of the
October crisis.
The increase in exports is largely aue
tn nnitnn. which shows an increase 01
$134,818,418. representing the jump from
6.254.496 to 7,818,714 bales, ana aieo
better price. The value of our bread
stuffs exported dropped about $10,000.
000. but there was a $17,000,000 Increase
in meat, dairy products and food an
imals. Oil showed a $2,500,000 drop.
The report Is complete enough to In
dicate that our status as exporters of
raw materials. In excess of manufac
tured product, has not changed. For
Instance, notwithstanding our foster
ing policies, our cotton furnishes em
ployment for foreign workmen in for
eign mills, and we buy some of the
cotton cloth. The drop in breadstuffs
naturally suggests the value of Cana
dian reciprocity. It is true that the
meat exports show an lncresse, but
this may be temporary, for our cattle
and hog-raising area Is contracting,
while our own demands are Increasing
to such an extent that J. Ogden Armour
says that Europe not only must begin
to look elsewhere for her meat, but
that even we may Import from the Ar
gentine and Canada, which we could
do to good effect if we had free trade
In meats.
The following statistics of our trade
with our best customers show that
Canada is not only third In the list,
but that both our exports and Imports
In that quarter have Increased in 1911
over the 1910 fiscal year.
n TT s avnarta 1J. R. imports.
firaat Britain . . .'sV.000.0lO I2B1 .OlKl.000
cfnada ....... 270.000,000 . lUl.OOO.uoO
ir?.nc ... 135.000,000 115.OO0.000
One of the depressing features is that
the Chinese customs reports, wmcn
havo tnat heen announced, show a loss
of exports to that country in 1910, and
vet this is the great land oi commer
cial promise for the next several de
cades. Is the door really open? Or are
we simply falling to enter?
English Pensioners Live Long
London Chronicle.
Pensioners are long lived. The
finance accounts of the United King
dom lust Issued, illustrate tnai iruin
There are pensioners still living who
were granted their allowances in the
times of George IV and William IV,
anri there is a Drincess Augusta Car
oline of Cambridge who received her
annuity in 1843. Longevity is most
notable, however, among the judicial
pensioners, for there are many officers
r tha courts who have drawn their
pensions for 60 or more years. But
one misses the keeper of the Mar
shalsea. who until a year or two ago
was alive to take us back to the time
of "Little Dorrlt."
A Medical Visitor Calla.
Boston Transcript.
Sympathetic Visitor Mrs. A. what
do you suppose makes you suffer so?
Mrs. A. I don't know, I'm sure, and
I believe nothing but a post-mortem
will ever show.
S. V. You poor thing! You are so
weak you could never stand that.
The Essence of Luxury.
Puck.
Tes. I welcome the era of
prices one may live so much
high
more
luxuriously.' .
"Just how do you make that out?
"Why, there are so many more things
that one cannot afford."
The Roman? Swar.
Ann Buniton In the Spectator.
I wish 1 were a gypay frre
To danca beneath tha rowan tree.
To wade In waters cool and aweet
Or press tho thyma with naked feat.
I wlah I wore a scarlet gown
And ran upon the windy down
"To gather muahrooma in the dew,
Solea and whortleberries bluo.
Hips and hawa and hazels brown, .
For selling In the narrow town,
Where every wide-eyed child would cry
"There goea a gypay paaalng by!"
And run to buy my waree of me
And wish tbat he were half aa free.
Then wflh some tea to fill my can
Far out of sight of any man
I d light my fire and alt and sup
And watch the smoke climb up and up;
The smoke upon Ita atalrlees way
To greet tha pine tree topa and say
"Those are your bougna that burn so well.
Td gather bracken from the dell
To make a pillow for my head.
And every time I turned In bed.
Between my eyelid and my cheek
The stars would play at hide and seek.
Or if tha moon of dreams were high
rd be a gypsy that could fly
To visit with the honey bee.
Or cbaaa the swallows o'er the sea;
And In the early morning dark
I'd rlne -beyond the boldest lark.
And holding to some angel's frock
Td enter heaven and never knock:
For once Inside they'd let me stay.
For all would take my part and say
" 'TIS but a little gypay free.
Ijtl be, good doorkeeper, let bev'
Advertising Talks
Br William C. Freeman.
Mr. Nowland, of Fels & Co..' Philadel-
phia, knows what newspaper .advertis
ing; has accomplished for his own com
pany, and is a great believer in it for
1 every business.
He related an incident to me the
other day about a Philadelphia business
man, livlngr a few doors north of Mar
ket street, who had never been visited
by an insurance man, nor had he ever
been approached on the subject of in
surance, nor did he know that a big
insurance building was at the corner
of Fourth and Chestnut streets. .
- Mr. Nowland, in commenting on this,
said:
"This man was a good subject for
Insurance, and probably would have
been written up by almost any agent
who called, or. If be bad been solicited
thronarh advertUlna, he would have
probably gone to an insurance office
to apply for Insurance for himself."
There are undoubtedly many ' men
throughout the country about which
the' same thing could be said, and who
could be reached throoarh advertising
In the daily newspapers. .
All forms of Insurance should be ad
vertised. If the big insurance companies would
get together and contribute' to. a. fund
to be used for advertising, and then
run in the dally newspapers a series
of educational Inaurance tatka human
Intereat appeals to the people, pointing
out the adrantagea of taking out poli
cies In reliable companies. It would
help their aaency men very materially
in writing insurance and treble their
business In no time.
I have talked to a great many In
surance agency men on. this subject.
They are all firmly convinced of the
value of newspaper advertising, so
much so that thy would be willing to
surrender a part of their commissions
If the companies they represented ad
vertised In the newspapers.
I don't believe it would cost the in
surance companies more than two per
cent of the net Income from their an
nual premiums if they advertised in
this manner.
There is a great business waiting for
the insurance companies. Why not go
after It. gentlemen, on the lines sug
gested above?
(To be continued.) -
Brad's Bit o Verse
Copyright. 1911. by W. D. Meng.
I've know some fellows who were
smooth and others who were swin.
each had his little line of work, each
had some special gift; but when It
comes to stacking ice In huge - and
massive piles, the Honorable Bacon
puts a crimp in all their styles. He
wrote a library or two of scientific
lore, he plucked the wreath from
Learning's brow and made Dame Wis
dom sore; he wrote our Shakespeare's
dramas and the songs of Bobby BurnB,
he edited the latest dope on bootjacks,
prunes and churns. The codes of Colo
nel Blackstone are the product of his
brain; he wrote Gray's Elegy, and gave
to Keats his lofty strain. Old Homer
never penned a line; his claim is all
a sham; for Bacon . wrote those epic
gems (see latest cryptogram). -The
speeches of Demosthenes, the Lays of
Ancient Rome, John Bunyan's Pilgrim's
Progress, and the song of Home, Sweet
Home, the tragic lines of Sophocles, the
battle cry of Bruce, George Washing
ton's Farewell Address. Huck Finn but
what's the use? If you would find an
easy way to scale the heights of fame,
take some old book. Invent a key. and
search out Bacon's name.
Wrecking Engine Wrerki Phones.
Popular Mechanics.
An unusual accident occurred at Glrard.
O. A wrecking engine, equipped with
a large derrick, was rushing through the
town to the scene of an accident, when
the boom of the derrick caught up the
poles and wires of the telephone com
pany where they crossed the railroad's
right of way. Before the engine could
be stopped, nine poles were torn down
and bumped against houses. Windows
were smashed and one house was badly
wrecked by the cable. -
Features in the Magazine
Section of
THE SUNDAY
OREGONIAN
Horrors of Modern Conflict
Would Be Terrible What would
happen should the three great
European powers really clash is
the topic of an illustrated article.
Sir A. Conan Doyle's Sherlock
Holmes Story The greatest de
tective plavs an important part
in "The Adventure of the Three
Students" and displays his an
alytical powers in solving a fas
cinating mystery.
Grand Duke Spends Thirty
Years in Exile A European cor
respondent throws an interest
ing light upon Russian court life
by the story of how a progressive
relative of the Czar lives forgot
ten in the wilds of Tashkend.
Uncle Sam's Daredevil Ex
plorers Uncle Sam has many
employes, and how he sends some
of them to perform heroic feats
is the subject of an illustrated
article.
Bridging the Willamette Is
Tremendous Task An illus
trated article tells of the difficul
ties of bridging the Willamette
River at Portland and takes the
construction of the new O.-W.
R. & N. steel bridge as a text. -
How the Wily Chinese Smug
gles Opium Against the ingen
uity of the Chinese opium smug
gler, the skill of the Secret Serv
ice , of Uncle Sam is pitted.
Many 6trange devices of the law
breakers are exposed in an illus
trated article.
Comic section, with Sambo,
Twee Deedle and Widow Wise.
Illustrated Woman Is Section.
Order from . your . newsdealer
todav. . -
purpose