TITE MORNING OREGONIAX. SATURDAY, 1UGUST 12, 1911. ' 6 roBTLsjro. oiucgow. EBtarad rarrlaad, r " Subacrlplloa iui-lirtiblr la A CBT MAID tar. liifiit7 lae:udL ana yaar J ? t'ily. Sunrtar tnclud-d. an moatfca J" f'ailr. S-indar lnclud4. thra mil--- in ir, Sunday Includaa. aae nal e'fto I: I, wl-bout Sjnday. on yaar J ':l. Wl'hXUt HuiilT. SIX mJtth " rily. artthout Suadar. thra month... -!? D.:y. without Suadar. ana monlh------ Waakly. on Tar i. avatar, on tox. ............. - - - Suadar u Wookly. one aa I'ai.T. OIK? inrivara. wnm now to iii'J nana ardor, ox pro ardor or porooaaJ your local but. atampa. eola or How to Kaania rod aoaleltlM meaay r at the aoadora ria. OIe Pct9'1'' ddroa la full, laclodlna- coonu . ..a atAtO. roouo lutoa io t i to M ooaoa. a coata; SO to do poo. to eooa. coata. Foralsa moooo mBf Eaaterw Baataoao OrVx Vtt C" "llo Now Tora. HranaarlcK huUdlog Chl aro. stager building - PORTLAND. ftATt RDAV. AlGleT 1. ItlU THE CRKAT rAKTXTIWHIP. The Underwood bill represented a reduction of approximately 60 per cent frnm the present "Indefensible" wool tariff. The La Follette bill proposed a cut In raw wool of about 12 per rnt. Now a S per cent ad valorem duty U the product of the Joint genius , of La Follette. high protectionist, anu t'nderwood. tnomlnal) free trader. For Underwood, now for protection, promises free trade aa an ultimate soma dar. -when the country la ready for It and It will not hurt anybody. About five yeara from now. perhaps. Meanwhile Underwood Is for stiff protection high protection on wool ind woolena, So are the Democrat, all of them. Why? Why do they nullify their record, traverse their ery expression, reverse every pro- " feaeed Democratic policy. Ignore every previous Democratic tariff bill, bur- , )iue the tenets of Morrison and Wll- on and Mills-? Why? Becausa the Democrats have em- barked on a buccaneering enterprise J w ith the Inaurgent Republicans to wreck tha Taft Administration. That 'l all. ? ENGLISH AD CHIMK- It might displease some of our rabid haters of tha Oriental If tha learned should finally decide that the Chinese Unruif Is the most highly developed In the world: but there Is some proba bility that they may do so. Dr. Ed- .ward flaplr. of the Canadian Geologi cal Survey, who knows a great deal about Chinese, rather Inclines to the opinion that It has advantages over 'any other tonrue and felt free to say as much the other day In a lecture be fore the savants of the Pennsylvania University. It employs only the slm-r- plest possible means, he says, but It van express the most technical or ' philosophical Ideas with absolute tack -f ambiguity and with admirable con . cL-enesa and directness.- This Is high ' praise. We have been accustomed to hear almost the same said about Eng lish, though It Is seldom held that our language is free from ambiguity. It 'la all but Impossible to say anything .In English which cannot be made to mean something else by a little In genuity. The emphasis of the voice i an make wonderful transformations dn the algnlflcance of a sentence. Tha formula "John struck James" -nsy appear at the first glance "abao Tlutely free from ambiguity." and no 'doubt It la so when written, but not when spoken. The TOlce. by Its In tonations, can make It pasa through ioj variety of meanings from a simple i.rtement of fact to a question, a de 1 r.lal or a scornful exclamation .of sur - prise. We have heard a great deal . about the Influence of Intonation upon the significance of Chinese words. 5 Foma say that the language never can, tbe reduced to phonetic writing be- tause the voice has so much to do ! with what tha speaker means. Some thing similar waa the case with the I Chinook Jargon, as every pioneer J knows. It had no degrees of compar- Ison In the grammatical sense, but tha speaker could easily make an adjec f tiva pasa to tha superlative degree by . the way he uttered It. We doubt "w hether Intonation Is not as Important In English aa In Chinese. When the curves of the voice can completely re ; versa the aignWcance of a printed j form. could scarcely expect to find anything more effective, no matter where we look. Dr. Saplr remarks that In Chlnesa J the position of the words In the aen ' tence Is everything. The meaning does 1 not depend at all on grammatical In- fectlona. Thla Is substantially the case with English also. But In both t languages It Is only In print that poel ' tlon la ao Important. When the worda L are spoken, any arrangement can be made to mean anything you Ilka by the orator"s Intonations. Chinese, ac cording to Dr. Saplr. belong, to what ;ts called the "Isolating type" of lan .' i iiki In which word forma are never ! altered by Inflection. The verba are !fiot conjugated, which Impllee. by the way. that there are no Irregular verbs. 1 a boon to learners. The noune aaa no ending to signify the plural num- ber. and adjectivea are not compared. The units of tha language are like peb bles or little pieces of wood whose po sition can be changed at will, but their " , form never. It seems aa If such a 'language ought to be easy to learn, but tha common report la that Chinese U 1 repellar.tly difficult. Comparatively few persons have mastered It In spite cf a good deal of commercial advan tage In being able ot speak and write It. Perhaps tha difficulty lies not so ".much In tha language Itself aa In the way It Is represented on paper, t-icn 'Chinese word haa a fixed aymbol. and the language cannot be written until tbesa have been committed to mem ' trv. Tha task would be terrible, even If tha symbol were as simple In out- i line as our letters, but the truth Is that -they are extremely complicated. Ac " cording to scholars, there are some '. 10.000 of them. Oood Chinese liter ry mea are supposed to remember the whole array, but they begin to "learn them In childhood and never learn anything else. The process Is ' armcthlng like learning to spell Eng- . llnh. which Is so difficult that It puta our schoolchildren three or four yeara .' behind German boys and girls of the same age. English la not a completely "Isolat rg" language, but It movea In that direction. Formerly our tongua had .many Inflections, and It retains some of them, but they are dropping away. Verbs were once conjugated In the subjunctive mood. Writers occasion ally use the subjunctive still, but It sounds archaic In mo?t cases. The o'ain Indicative will servo the same with mora simplicity and therefore more efficiency. To express ftsure time some writers feel com pelled always to employ auxiliaries like "shall" and "will." Now and then they are Indlopensable. but very often tha future Idea comes In of Itself. For example. It Is needless to go to the trouble of saying "If John shall go to town tomorrow he will meet hi mother." The same thought Is belter conveyed by the simple formula "If John goes to town tomorrow he will meet his mother." The genius of our speech dispenses more and more with grammar. Thla amounts to saying that It becomes more and more like the Chinese. Perhaps there may some time be a contest between these two languages for "the supremacy of the world. Aa things now stand. Eng lish would have the advantage, for our spelling, with all It horrors, la not ao frightful as the Chinese word signs, but prorresa sometimes comes on rapidly In tha Orient. Nobody can tell how soon the Chinese may cut off their plglaOa and adopt a phonetic al phabet. When they do so their lan guage may perhaps enjoy a fair pros pect of becoming Ihe speech of the world. THE MATTE WITH PORTLAND. A valiant soldier of the Civil War, making an address at a Grand Army gathering near Vancouver tne oiner day. drew a dark picture of the fu ture, for "graft haa faaiened on nearly everything in the country." Another veteran, acknowledging the prlls that surround our institutions, rpr-u the conviction that the "country will not be ruined." but that In tha end the "common people will rl HP na ...t an .ni to arafL lust aa they con quered the hldeoua monster of rebel lion during the dark daya of 'l-'65. The Oregonlan yesetrday contained a k.ie An-mn nu.a stories, based on one form or another of graft, or corruption. or misfeasance In public omce. ah re lated to the secret and criminal deeds, or misdeeds, or .alleged mis deeds, of various officials and other more or less well-known persons of Portland and Multnomah County. The superintendent of a rockplie had accepted $100 for the unlawful -.i-.-. r,r . nrionnor. Two detectives and a private detective agency were making chargea ana counter craij .nln.p nno, another crowing out of the recovery through alleged Illicit means of a quantity of etolen goods. An Impeccable lawyer, known chiefly through his championship of certain oisreputaoio i;in-ni v ...... .h.-m nf arraft by -blackmail against a detective and a newspaper reporter. A public orricer u . k. - fnrr m nrt woman of extort ing II from her. A police sergeant was dismissed by the Myor for "in competency with tha plain Implica tion that thera ere serious speclflo reasons. And so forth, and so forth. The papers are full of chargea. accu sations, animadversions. Intimations, Inslnuatlona and Innuendoea or croox. ednees. dishonesty and rascality: but mostly charges. accusations, etc, etc. The very air la clamorous with the olitcrr against the unfaith ful police and the peculating detec . i.- ant ntbor officials. The din and clangor for reform resound through the highways and bywaya. uran. graft everywhere, but not a grafter in Jail. , Tha Mayor Is shocked ana appanea. mrA i (wrnmliif suspicious that something Is wrong and he is going to do something now pretty soon, n i i-i.i.r mwA aurririaod Police Com mission Is industriously prying Into things day and night, being convinced that the late Simon police administra tion waa not all It should have been and that somebody, somewhere, some how, did not do a he snouia nave done. Tha new Chief of Police has tasued a lot of timely admonj tiona and valuable observations, and stands ready to wield tha ax when ever somebody or other says the word. The District Attorney was never ao busy assembling his corps r .....mnhin to draw Indictments and thus spread dismay In the ranks of the wicked lawbreakers, i ne in rin,iiu hoata of a regolute official dom are grandly moving on. They are a trifle uncertain aooui wnere they are going, but they are on tneir wav. These are the significant things the public sees and hears In a single day every day. There Is a vast lot of thundering In the Index. Meanwhile the trains ara loaded with gamblers. m.rantrMui. touts, outcasts, para- altea, loafers, pimps, confidence men, common women and the off-colorlngs and off-scourlnga or every snaae. va riety, complexion and breed, who have heard that the "town la open" and that the paaturea are green and the feeding good. Why are they com ing here? Who sent them the word that encouraged them to flock 'In from every quarter? Who volun teered to give them immunity and pro tection? Why the spectacle here now of a rejoicing and unrestrained under- -M It Is child's play for the Mayor to "Investigate" conditions that are ob .iai. m all and to suggest that he la going to leave the "vice policy" of his administration to a commlsaion of disinterested citizens. It Is Idle to blame the Impotence of the police and the disorganisation and Insubor dination of the police force on tha i-u ..-- ruiM. it Is nonsense1 to pretend that a stern policy of pro .iniinn riilmt the army of unde sirables now here cannot at once be formulated and enforced. It la time for firm and definite action and lesa talk. Doubt, hesitation and vacilla tion by the authorities are the oppor tunity of the vicious and lawless. Tha way to enforce tha law la to enforce the law. rCTCM HATE THEIR PREATIGE. The British peera might paraphrase a famous epigram by saying: "All Is lost save prestige." Having been forced to choose between giving up the shadow of power which they had foolishly Imagined to be a reality and having It taken away from them by the creation of a awarm of new peers, they give It up rather than subject the peerage to the loss of social pres tige which would follow a flood of new peers. For the creation of 800 new neers at ona time would make a title so cheap aa to be an object of ridicule. In order to command re spect among the tuft-hunters, tha holder of an ancient title would have to print the date of Its creation after It on letterheads, etc, as a college graduate might write "Harvard 'oT" after his name. The Impression that the House of Lords la even mainly composed of descendants of barons and statesmen of the middle ages Is wrong. Prob ably the majority of present peerages date little further back than the revo lution of Kit. Tha peerages which were created oy nuam m queror were almoet extinguished In the Wars of the Roses and Henry VIII disposed of a few more by exe cutions. Charles II replenished the supply by conferring dukedoms on his Illegitimate sons by French mis tresses. William II raised to the peerage some of the Dutch generals and admirals who won the throne for him. Since then the regular supply of peers from among statesmen, law yers, generala and admirals haa been added to In a yearly larger degree by the conferring of titlea on rich manu facturers, merchants and other busi ness men who gave liberally to the campaign funds of the party In power. In fact, though the secret has been Jealously guarded, there Is said to be a regular ecale of prlcea for dttferent titles, ranging upward from a barony, vhlch la the lowest. Tha campaign contributor la rewarded In Gr'a' Britain with a peerage as he would be rewarded In the United States with . - i..if a Kiir- an etnoa or www ' -j cessful lawyer climbs to the front . rank until he becomes Lora i nancei lor with an hereditary title. But no sooner does a brewer attain a peerage than his blood changes from red to blue and he Imagines himself to be made of different ma terial from the "common people." So strong is the Influence of association that men elevated to the peerage d - T.iv.-rii minlstrv to Increase Its scanty following In the upper house have developed into true mu i ' In a few years, though they nave oeen known aa rampant Radicals In the u... v j'immnna Had Asaulth cre ated B00 new peers to swamp the Tory majority, his artificially created major ity would gradually have melted away. The entire atmosphere of the House of Lords Is suffused with Toryism and the creation of now peers is mniroshlft which must be repeated every tlma the two houses clash. By restricting the Lords' veto Asqulth has adopted the only practicable means of preventing Its continually blocking legislation until Its constitu tion Is entirely changed. A DISCOl RAOINQ RF.rORT. t i ., -ii T-ni-lnl n w to learn from Dr. C. 8. White s report that the rural birth rate In Oregon la greaetr than that of the cities. Thla la the rule everywhere. But It does startle one a little to be told that there are counties in n-oo-nn where the death rata equals and In some cases even ex ceeds the birth rate. This Is race aui .m. with vonaeance. If the King of Terrora obtains an easy victory over life In a new state IlKa uregon. wimi havoc must he be working in tne nnmrniiTiiilni? So far as rural Oregon Is concerned, the blight of aterllity doea not seem to have struck . n-t,. k.,-,an i-ai-ai atlll thrives In the meadows of the Willamette and throughout the Inland Empire. Baker i. nna In a creditable list of counties which exhibit a birth rate about dou ble their death rate, Would that tne same might be said of Marion and it..it.Amfih fialom annears to have experienced the fate of almost every capital city, small aa It is. -eopie rinir to these nlsces are usually In search of retired comfort. Their famines have been reared and dis- tt ta riardlv to be expected that many children should be born In their households. Portland no doubt la like other loroo nltiea in respect to Its compara tive birth and dtsth rates. The for mer tends to decline, the latter to in crease. Were it not ror a constam in flux of fresh blood from the country, city-bred mankind would become ex tinct Like animals in captivity, men do not reproduce their kind very uo cessfully within city limits. Vigor comes from contact with the soil. But it must be confessed that the soil doea not always Impart vigor. The Oregonlan quoted the other day some discouraging figures which show that depopulation is proceeding apace on New England farms. As one race after another takea possession of those regions It losea Its fertility and begins to die out. There Is some ground for hope that Oregon will not follow this bad example. Our climate and general climatic condltlone re semble those of England so closely that perhaps our population will con tinue as prolific as their British for bears, at least on the farms. Very likely the towns are hopeless cases. Ephralm la Joined to hia Idols. Let him alone. MR. ROOSEVELT" DISTINCTION. The parallel drawn between the action of President Roosevelt In elimi nating the waterfront of Eyak and Valdes arm and the action of Presi dent Taft In eliminating the water front of Controller Bay. Alaska, from the Chugach National forest haa attrred the Colonel to a defense. He ..i.iinin in riraw a distinatlon be tween the two act though he admlta the Justice of the parallel. e sas that the conditions surrounding each case must decide the course of the n.n.nnri and bases his criticism of Mr. Taft's course In the Controller Bay case on the difference in The point of difference which he emphaslxea la tha fact tnat ne am noi know that the Guggenhelms were operating In Alaska, while Mr. Taft ju tt- aa not know "that there waa the slightest danger of the Guggenheim syndicate, or any other syndicate. obtaining control of Alaska," though their operations had been proclaimed In the newspapers . - . i w. ,iiA inn, hrore inev oearan m uun 1 1 - It la not easy to conceive what great jii . v. nn.rat1nni nf the Gur- aiuririiv.o 1 w - - genhelms should make In the course of the two Presidents. r. nouctn must have been familiar enough with ll. .Ira xnnHltlona to IcnOW that Only men of large capital could develop coal mlnea and that tne men wno owiiru the coal mines would wish to control the railroads and shipping facilities. He must have Known inai incj -seek control of the waterfront ho elim inated. Whether they were the Gug genhelma or any other men made no fllfference to the result. Mr. Taft knew that the Guggenhelma were operating In Alaska and acted with full knowl edge of the fact. He eliminated the Controller Bay waterfront to facilitate the operations of Mr. Ryan'a company, a rival to the Guggenhelma, but with the knowledge that Mr. Ryan could secure only alternate tracts and there fore could not secure a monopoly. If, after building his railroad. Mr. Ryan should sell it to the Guggenhelms. the Government cannot prevent the aale. but In granting a charter for the road It can guard against any evil results from such a sale. In speaking of a possible monopoly of Alaska by the Guggenhelms. Mr. Roosevelt shows that he haa not fully realised the Immense size of Alaska, the variety of Its resources or the cost and difficulty of Its development. Not even the wealth or tne uuggennenno Is sufficient to monopolize Alaska. Their name is a bugaboo to the con servationists, but It remains for the President and Congress to derive all the good for the public out of their en terprise and to guard against all evil results of their monopolistic proclivi ties. Mr. Taft Is working along the same Hnea as Mr. Roosevelt worked in try ing to bring about the development of iio.ka without sacrifice of the public interest, or waste or monopoly of its , resources. He should re given iuh credit for doing so, and his acts should not be viewed with suspicion Inspired by Mr. Pinchot. The only good pur pose which can be served by contro versy between the President and his predecessor is to center attention on the urgent need of laws for the de velopment of a long-neglected and lit tle known territory. TVio ncrnrrences at the City Jail the other night, when "Lizzy-Mandy was a dandy" was being renaereo. d- an Inmat. m K V nOSSlhlV SUEgeSt SOmO valuable new disciplinary resources to Jailers and wardens, unaer tne tor ture of the coon song, it is reported honiMt rasps suffered acute ly. Many of them- groaned In agony. Very well. hy not sing -untie wing" to the habitual drunk when he comes to Jail? Would he ever come again? A single treatment with al most any rag song might ba expected to reform a hardened wife-beater by The possibilities of the method are making the prison a place of horror. Infinite. Th. .rrnrta of the Canadian Tories to switch the campaign to other issues K. Mlnrnrltr la A hODeful Sign for Laurier, who should certainly be able to fasten the voters' attention on that n.u 1..11A Aa the rrotected manu facturing interests are mainly in the Eastern provinces and the agricultural Interests mainly In the West, it Is n..it. nnasihla that the Liberals may lose strength In the East, but equally likely that they will make compensai rin in tha West. Should Champ Clark's lll-advlsed speech on annexa tion be used by tne Tories, its biibl-i. will be counteracted by the quotation of Taft's speeches against that policy. Th. -Panama-Pacific Exposition at San Francisco In 1915 will be for the benefit of the whole Facine coast, and it rests with each atate to see that it gets Ita share of the benefit. The recommendation of Colonel H. E. Dosch that Oregon have an inrorma tn wA immigration bureau at the exposition Is wise, for only by such means can Oregon secure ner enare .i ih. inmMni and settlers who will be attracted to the Pacific Coast. Th o-nanot haa finally nrevalled over the law In lola. Kan., to the credit of the town, in our opinion. It was In lola that a modern. Daniel sentenced a woman to break stones In the chain- gang. The Mayor interposed ana par doned her. This saves Kansas from a humiliation which ought to have made every man within Its bordera blush for shame. Is it impossible for lola to elect sensible Judges as well as Mayors? The plain Inference from the lan guage of Mr. Perkins, Judge Gary and their Ilka la that they want the trusts made part of the Government, with public officials In at least partial con trol of them. Sooner or later most of our public officials will be elective. The movement In that direction Is unmis takable. . Will the time come when the voters of the country will choose the President of the whisky trust? With natural reluctance, but with true British stoicism when face to face with fate, the House of Lords haa voted away ita veto. It was a poor thing, after all. not worth quarreling over. Ten years from now, when the peers have taken up their new and greater taska, they will wonder at the disturbance they made over a trifle. The allied lords and laborers will bring social salvation to England. Congratulations are due J. Hennessy Murphy for the fight he put up and won against the Denver people who would despoil the estate of a dead Portland girl. The Judge's disposition to fight windmills (British) by way of diversion does not lessen his ability to make good when he tackles the real thing. H. C. Frlck's retirement from the Union Pacific board Is a case of sub mission to the spirit of the anti-trust law, though its letter was not violated. He is free from the arrogance which prompts most captalna of Industry to defy the law. James J. Hill's Conservation Con gress this year will discuss soil. Last vear the subject was public lands and the year before the forests. By and bv the body may' take up the-bald-headed man and hls need of conser vation. . s If the liquor dealers who observe tha law would Join hands with the law. they would soon drive sucn iei i E-o.nir Mava out of business". Men of his stamp are recruiting agents for the Prohibition party. u,n-ni.-vinB- la about a month off and the man who contracts at present prices may misa nair aa mum Tho world must have the Oregon hop at any price. Now the Water Board can see what t. onri none" bv compelling people to arise at unseemly hours to Irrigate, The eany morning u.n are to start half an nour sooner. May Joe Morrison return from Llnnton much Improved in neaun auu morals by' his labors at tne quarry. People from the prairie states need . W a Ta, a pocket compass ana map wrim penetrate Oregon timber. tx-.ivi tha a-Rsoltne market. Stand. ard Oil had to pay 4S.S5 costs In the dissolution suit. Making flour from skim milk may be feasible, but making pork is sure and profitable. So long as the stock keeps ahead of the reaper, Oregon need not fear race suicide. One of the grave affairs agitating Seattle Is an alleged combine or un- dertakera. i h hattleshlD Oregon Is ready. PRESS OPIXIO or LAFFKRTT Eugene Register. . It is about time Congressman Laf ferty gave more attention to law-making and less-to other things that put him into the limelight in no enviable fashion. La Grande Observer. Colonel Lafferty should devote his spare time to that enlarged home stead bill he promised his constituents before election, and not be so handy with his pen. Amity Standard.' The least that can be said about the Lafferty affair Is that Governor West has a right to expect an early resigna tion from the Second Congressional district representative. Ealem Journal Congressman Lafferty might with some effect ask that of his critics those Innocent among them should first cast a stone." It isn't the Innocent ones who sre throwing the rocks, but rather the "wise ones." Roseburg News. Lots of men "se things that look good to them" but unlike Congress- T-r rh.v Hnn't nut it down man wt'i"1! J - , , . , on paper. . . Presuming that the reports concerning Mr. Lafferty are true, that arentleman should uncere moniously be "fired" by an outraged constituency. Roseburg Review. Under the new reapportionment law. I. . . i tiarl tn another Congress- man. But while she is about it she ii i wn now Representatives to the lower house of Congress, one of them to displace lanen j"- -quickly as the recall law can be put Into operation. Pendleton East Oregonlan. . i- aM (mnrnnpr man for Ore gon to have In Congress.. The People of this state do not sanction Insults to little trlrls. Lafferty should resign or ne snouia o ""--' " - -i.t nidur the Oresron can. w 1 ' .-- system. It U now up to the people z. . . , j ,A .hnw tvnt under the Oregon vtera the people may quickly ... . w.i, -A-v.nt wnon n ft get rid oi a puwm; , ( . . - proves nimHen uu j . TutaAtnrA Mall-Tribune. . . i T.ffnif'i rttnl name Is not Arthur W. as he once proclaimed, nor Amldon W. as ne wr . , i tit 'v.11 m Abe. boys as he said during the campaign. he mysterious initial a. oo either for Algernon nor Alfonso, but for Ananias. and as Ananias w. (Romeo) Lafferty he snouia oe "" to fame. . J . , For such cases as Laneriy-s. waa iu recall devised. ijthnnnn Criterion. tt-- ...-,n.rhit. with the Second Con gressional district or tnls state In the i.i i t... in ronreaent it in Con- areas. The young erirl masher is bad , i A i .., a - enough anywnere. oui m a. r, 1 . 1 ...thliiVlhl II1M II 11 l. ' " i- ' - - Just think of Lafferty ana Bourne examples of statesmen to represent a new and growing state in the Congress of the country. The tender-footed East will think us the -wna ana woui.jr West sure enough. Pendleton Live Wire. . j j .tt.t nf A. W t rienaa auu t. . . . - . anM.h,t ahncked and 1.H IT en y sro creatly disappointed by the stories of his personal misconuui i. from Washington. In its most con servative phase the story is serious w r. onnuirh to spell de- feat for A. W. Lafferty, Representative from Oregon. unless nc i repudiate the story in some more sub . .... ... .u-n mt nroaont. he may stanuai wjr .. - as well retire gracefully from politics. Otherwise, he win nna niuioc out. Unnn Tllver NWS. . . TT'nl -- T afTortv. ConBTeSS- ADrBDPni ci.... - - - .. . . . .v.- Cfnnn OraaTon district. has sucoeded in covering himself with odium at the National Capital, " the press dispatches be correct Mr. Laf ferty has been devoting his energies more toward attempts to captivate the fair sex than ir seemiy tor oi man particularly a statesman chosen . . w i w t w nrrn thrnuch the channels ji..i r,.imttrw-anti-corrupt practices route. An attempt to redeem some or xne pi - - to nlB COnBliiu-eu- Ir" - - i ..nriAiihtcrilT be more atTre UOn. WUUIV U Q,r elated than any ucca o ."-j as a Don juan. ' a- ii ; - na-KAttA. Times s4 .o.wii - . . . n orifl swallowed We strain . - a camel. Had Lafferty, the despised. t vaui tko nhorm nir happened to .nave "w,v,;tro- MISS K.UDC1 in m , "- duced by even a casual acquaintance . . ... 'i, h.vo been well, even OI DO 1 11 ' though Lafferty were more of a scoun drel than ne appear, m . n vr Kubel been re- ieny a uieos v ceived differently and the acquaintance ripened into notning wuioo . i. nnt Imnosslble even though Lafferty were less a man than ha appeara to db, mo I""- , . ... j.ii.kirui stories of the brougnt u a u11" . romance surrounding tne marr age of one of Oregon's tongrmui". "..m . --...-. ralrst daughters. or wasningiuu .j a high school girl whose Ilkanwa in a great newspaper ....... ---- ?' . .-. ha nvorstenned the oTund, "and VaTd WrT heart : i I fortune at her feet even before he had hunted upVome friend to say for him: "Mis. Kubel. permit me ikuu". r. . . r .ffertv deserves a-klc joo bad that pBno KuDei laiieu 1 - - worse things are left unnoticed as we strain at tne gnau i .rr.rrr and the Recall. . 11 iTo the Sa thr ,1-b. appued to the Hon. Mr. iane. 11 . - gressmen and tomcats .exempt? If so. what, would be the most deli cate method of intimating to a gentle man of hia passionate nature that a TesPgnatlon was in order? I. h.r. any truth in the report that Miss Ella Wheeler Wilcox Is contemplating run ning for Congress on the Sweetheart tic-icat? If not. why not? ticket? n JOSEPH MGEB. The recall Is doubtless not applica ble to a member of Congress. The Con stitution provides that each house of Congress alone shall be the Judge ot the qualifications qf its own' members; and the Federal statutes, besides, con trol the elections. The State of Oregon might possibly "recall" Lafferty. but the House at Washington need not on that account disqualify him from mem bership. a a Stung. ' Moonlight soft and silVry, Grass begemmed with dew. Summer breezes sighing, A canoe brand new. Water gently washing Banks of shadowy hue. Sleepy birds a-twitter. A canoe and two. Just by chance I saw them. Though they never knew. Drifting in the moonlight, A canoe brand new , Just two one Sue! Elizabeth Wallace. Corvallls. Or. The Battle of the Columbia Oh. they've loosed the toothless dogs of war Down where Fort Stevens stands. And theoretical battles' roar Shakes broad Columbia's sands. Where each loyal native son Helps to man the monster gun. And dreams about the theoretical Glory to be won. Imaginary foemen come A-salline o'er the sea. Ethereal squadrons throng about. With grim hostility; And the searchlights to and fro O'er the heaving waters go. To seek the fancied foemen out. So we can lay them low. Fainting into his comrades' arms, The captain staggers! See. A hypothetical rifle ball Has hit him In the knee! 'Mid fancied bullets flying near, A hundred men are dying here: Oh. haste to drive the foemen back. Or they'll get tired of lying here. Closer upon the surging sea. The spectral warships ride: Now soldiers put some theoretical Shot holes In their side: Boom, boom!" The cannons' roar! Enough! They need no more! They're sunk, and all the waves are rea With hypothetical gore. Now load the guns another time. And in the salty main. By way of making certain. Well sink tnem an again. Above the field, on high. While In theory they die. Grim Mars will shake his gory locks And wink the other eye. TIs thus we rally round the flag In mimic war, my mates. To save from hypothetical foes. Our Lares and Penates; Next day the papers' story Shall describe the struggle gory (7) And tell our friends at home about Our theoretical glory. Dean i;ouina. Portland, August 11. 1911. GREAT YEAR IN EXPORT TRADE Enonnoni Pro portions of Vnele Sam's Forelara Business. Indianapolis News. Th rietalla of our trade with for- Is-n nations durinar the fiscal year 1911 are not yet available, but the principal totals have been published, mey snow that our Imports amounted to $1,527, 985,088 and our exports to $2,048,691, 392. We bought $28,962,342 less abroad last year than we did In 1910, and we sold other countries $303,706,672 more. Foreign peoples, last year, oougni $520,706,304 more from us than we aia from them. This has never Dern equaled, except in 1907-08. and then only on account of the abnormally stimulated conditions at the time of the October crisis. The increase in exports is largely aue tn nnitnn. which shows an increase 01 $134,818,418. representing the jump from 6.254.496 to 7,818,714 bales, ana aieo better price. The value of our bread stuffs exported dropped about $10,000. 000. but there was a $17,000,000 Increase in meat, dairy products and food an imals. Oil showed a $2,500,000 drop. The report Is complete enough to In dicate that our status as exporters of raw materials. In excess of manufac tured product, has not changed. For Instance, notwithstanding our foster ing policies, our cotton furnishes em ployment for foreign workmen in for eign mills, and we buy some of the cotton cloth. The drop in breadstuffs naturally suggests the value of Cana dian reciprocity. It is true that the meat exports show an lncresse, but this may be temporary, for our cattle and hog-raising area Is contracting, while our own demands are Increasing to such an extent that J. Ogden Armour says that Europe not only must begin to look elsewhere for her meat, but that even we may Import from the Ar gentine and Canada, which we could do to good effect if we had free trade In meats. The following statistics of our trade with our best customers show that Canada is not only third In the list, but that both our exports and Imports In that quarter have Increased in 1911 over the 1910 fiscal year. n TT s avnarta 1J. R. imports. firaat Britain . . .'sV.000.0lO I2B1 .OlKl.000 cfnada ....... 270.000,000 . lUl.OOO.uoO ir?.nc ... 135.000,000 115.OO0.000 One of the depressing features is that the Chinese customs reports, wmcn havo tnat heen announced, show a loss of exports to that country in 1910, and vet this is the great land oi commer cial promise for the next several de cades. Is the door really open? Or are we simply falling to enter? English Pensioners Live Long London Chronicle. Pensioners are long lived. The finance accounts of the United King dom lust Issued, illustrate tnai iruin There are pensioners still living who were granted their allowances in the times of George IV and William IV, anri there is a Drincess Augusta Car oline of Cambridge who received her annuity in 1843. Longevity is most notable, however, among the judicial pensioners, for there are many officers r tha courts who have drawn their pensions for 60 or more years. But one misses the keeper of the Mar shalsea. who until a year or two ago was alive to take us back to the time of "Little Dorrlt." A Medical Visitor Calla. Boston Transcript. Sympathetic Visitor Mrs. A. what do you suppose makes you suffer so? Mrs. A. I don't know, I'm sure, and I believe nothing but a post-mortem will ever show. S. V. You poor thing! You are so weak you could never stand that. The Essence of Luxury. Puck. Tes. I welcome the era of prices one may live so much high more luxuriously.' . "Just how do you make that out? "Why, there are so many more things that one cannot afford." The Roman? Swar. Ann Buniton In the Spectator. I wish 1 were a gypay frre To danca beneath tha rowan tree. To wade In waters cool and aweet Or press tho thyma with naked feat. I wlah I wore a scarlet gown And ran upon the windy down "To gather muahrooma in the dew, Solea and whortleberries bluo. Hips and hawa and hazels brown, . For selling In the narrow town, Where every wide-eyed child would cry "There goea a gypay paaalng by!" And run to buy my waree of me And wish tbat he were half aa free. Then wflh some tea to fill my can Far out of sight of any man I d light my fire and alt and sup And watch the smoke climb up and up; The smoke upon Ita atalrlees way To greet tha pine tree topa and say "Those are your bougna that burn so well. Td gather bracken from the dell To make a pillow for my head. And every time I turned In bed. Between my eyelid and my cheek The stars would play at hide and seek. Or if tha moon of dreams were high rd be a gypsy that could fly To visit with the honey bee. Or cbaaa the swallows o'er the sea; And In the early morning dark I'd rlne -beyond the boldest lark. And holding to some angel's frock Td enter heaven and never knock: For once Inside they'd let me stay. For all would take my part and say " 'TIS but a little gypay free. Ijtl be, good doorkeeper, let bev' Advertising Talks Br William C. Freeman. Mr. Nowland, of Fels & Co..' Philadel- phia, knows what newspaper .advertis ing; has accomplished for his own com pany, and is a great believer in it for 1 every business. He related an incident to me the other day about a Philadelphia business man, livlngr a few doors north of Mar ket street, who had never been visited by an insurance man, nor had he ever been approached on the subject of in surance, nor did he know that a big insurance building was at the corner of Fourth and Chestnut streets. . - Mr. Nowland, in commenting on this, said: "This man was a good subject for Insurance, and probably would have been written up by almost any agent who called, or. If be bad been solicited thronarh advertUlna, he would have probably gone to an insurance office to apply for Insurance for himself." There are undoubtedly many ' men throughout the country about which the' same thing could be said, and who could be reached throoarh advertising In the daily newspapers. . All forms of Insurance should be ad vertised. If the big insurance companies would get together and contribute' to. a. fund to be used for advertising, and then run in the dally newspapers a series of educational Inaurance tatka human Intereat appeals to the people, pointing out the adrantagea of taking out poli cies In reliable companies. It would help their aaency men very materially in writing insurance and treble their business In no time. I have talked to a great many In surance agency men on. this subject. They are all firmly convinced of the value of newspaper advertising, so much so that thy would be willing to surrender a part of their commissions If the companies they represented ad vertised In the newspapers. I don't believe it would cost the in surance companies more than two per cent of the net Income from their an nual premiums if they advertised in this manner. There is a great business waiting for the insurance companies. Why not go after It. gentlemen, on the lines sug gested above? (To be continued.) - Brad's Bit o Verse Copyright. 1911. by W. D. Meng. I've know some fellows who were smooth and others who were swin. each had his little line of work, each had some special gift; but when It comes to stacking ice In huge - and massive piles, the Honorable Bacon puts a crimp in all their styles. He wrote a library or two of scientific lore, he plucked the wreath from Learning's brow and made Dame Wis dom sore; he wrote our Shakespeare's dramas and the songs of Bobby BurnB, he edited the latest dope on bootjacks, prunes and churns. The codes of Colo nel Blackstone are the product of his brain; he wrote Gray's Elegy, and gave to Keats his lofty strain. Old Homer never penned a line; his claim is all a sham; for Bacon . wrote those epic gems (see latest cryptogram). -The speeches of Demosthenes, the Lays of Ancient Rome, John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, and the song of Home, Sweet Home, the tragic lines of Sophocles, the battle cry of Bruce, George Washing ton's Farewell Address. Huck Finn but what's the use? If you would find an easy way to scale the heights of fame, take some old book. Invent a key. and search out Bacon's name. Wrecking Engine Wrerki Phones. Popular Mechanics. An unusual accident occurred at Glrard. O. A wrecking engine, equipped with a large derrick, was rushing through the town to the scene of an accident, when the boom of the derrick caught up the poles and wires of the telephone com pany where they crossed the railroad's right of way. Before the engine could be stopped, nine poles were torn down and bumped against houses. Windows were smashed and one house was badly wrecked by the cable. - Features in the Magazine Section of THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN Horrors of Modern Conflict Would Be Terrible What would happen should the three great European powers really clash is the topic of an illustrated article. Sir A. Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes Story The greatest de tective plavs an important part in "The Adventure of the Three Students" and displays his an alytical powers in solving a fas cinating mystery. Grand Duke Spends Thirty Years in Exile A European cor respondent throws an interest ing light upon Russian court life by the story of how a progressive relative of the Czar lives forgot ten in the wilds of Tashkend. Uncle Sam's Daredevil Ex plorers Uncle Sam has many employes, and how he sends some of them to perform heroic feats is the subject of an illustrated article. Bridging the Willamette Is Tremendous Task An illus trated article tells of the difficul ties of bridging the Willamette River at Portland and takes the construction of the new O.-W. R. & N. steel bridge as a text. - How the Wily Chinese Smug gles Opium Against the ingen uity of the Chinese opium smug gler, the skill of the Secret Serv ice , of Uncle Sam is pitted. Many 6trange devices of the law breakers are exposed in an illus trated article. Comic section, with Sambo, Twee Deedle and Widow Wise. Illustrated Woman Is Section. Order from . your . newsdealer todav. . - purpose