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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (May 26, 1910)
155 THE 1 5IORNIXG OREGOXIAX, THURSDAY,' MAY 26, 1910. PORTLAND. PRECOX. Entered at Portland. Oregon. Postofflca as Second-Class Matter. Subscription Kate Invariably In Advance. (BT UAILL ' gaily. Sunday included, one year 8-?2 pally, Sunday Included, six months.... 4.25 Ially, Sunday Included, three months. . 8.25 pally. Sunday Included, one month...... -J pally, without Sunday, one year pally, without Sunday, six month.... 3 pj pally, without Sunday, three months.. 1'5 pally, without Sunday, one month Weekly, one year I-60 Sunday, one year 2.60 Sunday and weekly, one year 800 (By Carrier). pally, Sunday included, one year 2 Dally, Sunday Included, one month.... 8 How to Remit Send Postofflce money srder. express order or personal check on vour local bank. Stamps, coin or currency are at the sender's risk. Give postofflce ad dress in full. Including county and state. Postage Kates 10 to 14 pases. 1 cent; 1 . 28 Pa. cents; 30 to 40 pages, 8 cents; 0 to eo pages, 4 cents. Foreign postaga tlouble rate. Eastern Business Otflre The 8. C Beck with Special Agency New York, rooms 48 00 Tribune building. Chicago, rooms 610 oia Tribune building. PORTLAND, THURSDAY. MAY 26, 1910. KEED OF POIJTTCAI. PBRGI.NO. Certain alleged Republicans in Ore Bon insist on defining Republicanism as their own sort, and what they choose to call it. They are unwilling that a body of 12 00 Republicans should determine principles and poli cies of the party, because they know euch a gathering: of men would repu diate their fads and fakeries. There fore, these patriots oppose Republican assembly. Their head prophets are U'Ren and Bourne, and attached to them are a lot of noisy "uplifters" who have been Populists and Democrats more seriously and longer than they have been Republicans. Allied with them are Democrats, Socialists and various kinds of agitators adding to the din. U'Renism has doctrines and propa ganda of its own, which it knows that a deliberative body of Republicans would not accept. Among its fads are proportional representation, one-manpower state government, delegates sent to National conventions at expense of taxpayers, state-owned railroads, peo ple's inspectors and state gazette. Other groups of citizens, also mas querading under the guise of Repub licans, are boosting single tax and other tax changes, state prohibition and other "reforms," and these groups also (want no Republican assembly. But assembly is needed in order to define the principles and policies on which the Republican party and its candidates will go before the electors. In absence of party platform, many kinds of cranks and self-lauding "in surgents" are professing to be the really true exponents of Republican ism. The assembly will clear these things up and proclaim a party doc trine which most of these patriots will find opposed to their fad notions. This will be a very excellent purging of the Republican party and it will effect a good riddance of political rubbish. So that the rubtlsh citizens clamor against assembly. They wish to keep on posing as the only immaculate Re publicans and friends of the people. So they set up a howl that the assem bly will seek to betra;- the people and to drive down the throats if the vot ers a "dose" of boss-concocted candi dates. But whatever the assembly shall do, there will be no force to it unless the voters shall approve In primaries and election. Electors will have the whole "say" when they come to accept or reject the candidates In the primaries after the assembly. Are the people so stupid that they will not be their own masters in the primaries? Are they such dolts that the assembly will drive them like cattle? Does not such clap trap affront the intelligence of the electorate? EXCESSIVE ' NAVAL BUJ. The naval bill is safely past both houses of Congress, carrying an appro priation of approximately $134,000,000, which is running up pretty closely to $1.50 per capita for the entire popu lation of the United States. The mag nitude of these figures is such that it Is questionable . whether we should "point with pride" or "view with alarm," the growing Importance of our Navy. This naval bill carries appropria tions but $70,000,000 less than those provided in the latest British naval budget, although there .is hardly any ground for comparison in the naval necessities of the two nations. Great Britain, with her far-flung empire, on svhich the sun never sets, with absolute dependence on over-sea countries for bread and meat and other necessities of life, with political enemies in all parts of the world awaiting only the opportunity to pounce on her outly ing possessions and annex them, is holding her own by sheer force of arms. The $200,000,000 naval budget is a severe drain on the resources of the British people, but it is of vital ne cessity so long as her covetous neigh bors continue to launch battleships and drill new recruits for th,e army. In the United States, no such neces sity exists. This country is at peace with all the (world ahd our outlying possessions are so few in number that It hardly seems necessary that we should be obliged to spend so much greater sums proportionately than other countries, which need navies much more than we do. In an effort to cut down the Senate appropriation a few days ago, Senator Hale predicted In a speech that within five years the annual naval appropriation would not be less than $175,000,000. Thus far we have proceeded on the theory that It was necessar- to build battleships because other countries were building them, and that the ownership of a big fleet of these costly fighting machines was our only guarantee of peace. The same theory is responsible for the staggering weight of naval expense that is bearing down on the old world powers. With a British naval budget of $200,000,000, a German Estimated) budget of $150,000,000 and the United States trailing in with $134,000,000, it Is obvious that the time Is near at hand when financial resources alone will fix a limit. Estimates on the original cost of each of our two new Dreadnoughts provided for in the cur rent bill vary from $10,000,000 to $18, 000.000. These sums alone are a per ceptible drain on the resources of the country for at the minimum . figure they are sufficient to provide 20,000 families with thousand-dollar farms where something more than a good living could be earned. Judging the future by the past, these costly lighting machines will be out of date a few years after they are launched and except for their scrap iron valii" will be total losses. The 20,000 farms in the same period would be more valuable than ever. War was a great game in the old days, but it was a mild and inexpensive diversion in comparison with the awful cost of pre paring for it in the twentieth century. AX ACTIVE PROSPERITY. We are having "good times"; the country is unusually prosperous; there is abundance of money; the general level of prices is high; work is abun dant and wages, on the whole, are the highest ever paid in this country or anywhere else. But there are great numbers of persons men and wom en who don't want to work. The chief drawback of the Pacific Northwest at this time is the difficulty of obtaining labor. Yet there are many persons not at work.' No offer, no importunity, can move them. Yet from now till the nd of the general harvest "hands" will be in demand, to gather in and take care of the prod ucts of the country. The fruit lands are now making a call that will last till the close of the season; the hay, grain and hop crops will come next with their requirements, and for sturdy arms there is . employment to an ex tent never before known in the rail road construction and lumber camps of the country. False conservation is to no small extent obstruction of settlement on the public lands; but there are chances still, if men will industriously spy them out. Extension of transporta tion lines is rapidly making a new and greater Oregon. We are now be ginning to have results that were due many years ago had Oregon received the railroad attention that iwas accord ed to Washington. The railroad sys tem then alone in Oregon might now have without competition all that it 13 eagerly fighting to hold a share of today. OREGON CONSERVES ITS OWN STREAMS Some 3440 acres of water-power land on John Day River, Eastern Ore gon, were reserved from entry by the Interior Department last week for the purpose of withdrawing the water power of that stream from the laws and the control of the State of Oregon. By the same order 5547 acres were re served along Wind l.lver, Wyominsr; 8620 acres along Price River, Utah, and 606 acres along the Blue River, Colorado. The pretext of this order was that of "conserving" stream wat ers for the people. But for what people? Are not the residents of the respective ctates the ones most directly interested in stream waters? Are not they the users of the waters and the energy o'. streams within their borders? Is not this the accepted view in Massachusetts, Penn sylvania, Ohio and other older states? The Legislature of Oregon last ses sion enacted an elaborate water law, governing appropriation of non-navigable streams. It did this under au thority conferred by constitutions of Nation and commonwealth. This au thority glve3 the respective states con trol of all non-navigable waters, own ership of waters unappropriated and regulation by law of waters-appropriated. Yet now steps in the General Government in pursuance of so-called conservation and essays to take from the people of Oregon regulation of the waters of John Day River, to lodge that control in a Federalized bureau in Washington, D. C, and to tax the peo ple of Oregon in "leases" for support of that bureau. " : ' The people of Oregon have already conserved their streams. They do not need Federalization of their streams nor interference of Federal officials. - TAKING A PRACTICAL VIEW. There is something at once practical and . pathetic in the statement that comes from Vancouver made by a woman on a Clark county ranch. Her husband becoming tired of his part in the compact, which included work on the ranch, in conjunction with an in dustrious wife for the malntainence of themselves and three children, left home several days ago anl has not since been heard from. After putting in a field of oats, milking four cows morning and night, and taking care of the children, the chickens and the gar den, the energetic woman went to Vancouver and sought the aid of the Counts' Attorney in compelling her husband to return and take up his part of their mutual burden. Accord ing to the recital she does not want to prosecute the delinquent husband and father; she only wants him to come back and help her provide for and take care of the children. Here is a sensible and practical as well as an energetic- woman. With all of her energy she realizes her limita tions. She also realizes that children are a joint responsibility from which neither party to the compact of bring ing them up has a right to be ab solved and from which neither can, in Justice to the other or to their chil dren, be absolved. If she has a con tempt for the paternal shirk to whom she is married she does not express it. She needs help in a material way In rearing the children. Who so com petent to -give it, who should give it but their father? This estimate in a practical sense, and in a sense of just appreciation of obligation, beats all estimates of di vorce as a panacea for marital differ ences, where the rights of children are involved. - THE HEE-HAW OF HACKNEY. William H. Hackney, of Kansas, one of the most ignorant and vulgar of the horde of ship-subsidy promoters, was before the House ship subsidy investi gating committee Monday. Like all bf the loquacious advocates of the "graft who have only a hazy knowledge of the measure they attempt to aid Mr. Hackney was forced to admit that the charges made in his scurrilous pamphlet on ship subsidies were based on belief and not on knowledge. In his pamphlet Mr. Hackney openly brazenly and emphatically stated that members of Congress were influenced by,wlne suppers and similar devices to antagonize the ship subsidy measure. Of course he could not substantiate his charges. LJke the rest of the paid workers in the subsidy cause, he ap parently assumed that the people op posed to a ship subsidy were' follow ing the same methods as the present investigation has disclosed were so popular with the subsidy people. . Sound arguments in favor of a ship subsidy are. of course non-existent. As a variation from the stereotyped mis representation of the Cleveland sub sidy syndicate, better known as the American Merchant Marine League, Mr. Hackney resorted to coarse, vul gar abuse. "Every man," says this Kansas hee-haw, "who opposes the principle of ship subsidy is an ignorant ass, an unprincipled demagogue or the paid hireling of baleful influence." This interesting substitute for argu ment in favor of a merchant marine, appeared in an elaborately prepared pamphlet which was quite generally circulated throughout the United States. The expense was, of course, heavy and the obscure Kansas lawyer who fathered the screed that appeared on the tastefully printed pages was no doubt the recipient of some of the funds which seem to have been quite plentiful in the camp of the subsidy seekers. ' . This exposure of Hackney, following that of Penton and a number of others who were promoting the graft, can hardly fall to produce good results. There are so many people who believe in giving the American merchant ma rine a chance but who do not believe In ship subsidies that the exposure of the motives and the methods of this band of paid boosters will make an opening for legitimate legislation in behalf of the American ship. Any doubt which may have existed in the past as to the advisability of rejecting the subsidy plan has been removed by the lack of evidence presented by the Hackneys and the Pentons to support their extravagant statements. THE ECLIPSE OF THE MOON. An "idle and rather ignorant bunch -of Summer boarders," to borrow the words of their spokesman, have peti tioned The Oregonian to explain to them "what caused the eclipse of the moon tonight," meaning last Monday night. That eclipse was caused pre cisely like every other eclipse of the moon from the beginning of time. The earth came in a direct line be tween the moon and the sun, placing the moon in the earth's shadow. There lies the whole secret. Since the moon has no light of its own, when the sunlight is cut off from it by the earth it necessarily becomes dark, and there is an eclipse. Why do we not have an eclipse every month? The earth passes be tween the moon and sun every month, and', yet eclipses are comparatively rafe. The reason for this is the fapt that - there is no eclipse unless the moon, earth and sun are exactly in a straight line. If the plane of the moon's " orbit .were' the - same as the earth's," there w'ould be ah eclipse every month, but that is not the case. The moon's orbit is inclined somewhat to the plane of the earth's, and for that reason it is only once in a great while that it slips into the exact situation required for an eclipse. r The point at which the moon dives up or down through the plane of the earth's orbit is called a node, either as cending or descending, as the case may be. These nodes travel all the .way round the moon's orbit, so that it Is only by a rare coincidence that one of them happens to fit exactly into the line which joins the earth to the sun. The earth casts a black, conical shadow behind it into space, which is long enough to reach the moon and envelop it. But the shadow evidently lies in the plane of the earth's orbit, and therefore It does not fall upon the moon except at a node, and hot then unless the node happens to lie directly behind the earth . in the line of the sun. The Summer boarders who have asked for light upon this subject can easily draw a diagram which will make the problem clearer to them than words possibly could. - - PORTUXD'S GREATEtT ASSET. Portland's harb.r is without doubt Its greatest asset. It forms the city's distinctive advantage over Spokane, Helena, Denver and other delightful inland cities that are accessible "only by rail. This being true, the purpose of Mayor Simon to promote a clean harbor, with modern docks and the danger from fire eliminated as far as possible from the water-front, is most commendable. It needs, or should need, no argument to prove the wis dom of this estimate. It is perhaps premature- to urge, that an ordinance be passed fixing a 'time when all in flammable buildings on the water front must be replaced by fire-proof structures, but it Is not too soon to prohibit the further construction of inflammable buildings there, or the rebuilding, under the- name of re pairs, of the old wooden buildings as they succumb to the stress, of years. Nothing advertis-s a city so unfavor ably to persons who enter It for the first time by steamer the preferred mode of travel of many men who are looking for investment as a ragged, foul and generally dilapidated water front, with a suggestion in its weather beaten, wooden docks and buildings of the possibility of fire that in a single night would leave them with their contents but a mass of charred and smoking ruins. UGHT ON ELECTRICITY. From present indications we hope fully anticipate that the University of Chicago will before a great while rival Los Angeles as a center of scientific activity. Mr. Rockefeller's school has not as yet produced anything which can outbid the celestial ear trumpet of the California city for fame, but it is reported that Professor Milliken has "viewed the peppery- specks of elec tricity on charged bodies," and this is no mean feat. It has long been known that electricity possesses many of the more poignant attributes of pepper, particularly of Cayenne pepper, such as intense heat and the power to- ex cite rapid motion, but Professor Milli ken is the first savant to discern with his own eyes the actual particles of the hitherto mysterious substance. Now it is mysterious no longer. We are not told just what Professor Milliken found out about the "Inns" nr electricity as he gazed enraptured upon mem lying pepperea over the surface of the charged body, but it must have been something marvelous. The world will await his disclosures with impa tient intellectual hunger. It is known to everybody that elec tricity is atomic in its structure. It consists of minute particles called elec trons, or at least the negative fluid does. What positive electricity may be no man of learning has as yet ven tured to say, but it, is pretty definitely agreed thaf both the positive and neg ative fluids exist. The electrons are inseparably allied with matter, each one of them being attached to a parti cle of the fundamental substance of which all the elements are no doubt composed. Indeed; the opinion is gain ing ground that negative electricity is matter itself. What we call the "mass" of a body seems to arise from the motion of its electrons in a way which mathematicians like J. J. Thompson have been able to elucidate with their equations. The electrons are all in rapid flight, circling around each other like planets in space. Each primary group of them makes up what the chemists call an "atom" of mat ter, and the atoms, as everybody un- derstands, are united into molecules. All this is common knowledge, and it is difficult to see just where Professor Milliken's great discovery comes in, but we have faith to believe that it comes in somewhere. The foreigners who shipped several thousand bales of cotton back from Europe to New York in an effort to break the market and force Patten, the new cotton king, to abdicate, will hardly repeat the costly experiment. Mr. Patten is now shipping the ootton back to Europe at a heavy advance in price over the figure at which he was forced to take it in. Patten's profits on two lots which he is now sending to Havre and Bremen are more than $1,500,000, and he has the market so I thoroughly in his control that his xoiai proms win oe many times that figure. Much as the people object to the practice of "cornering" any com modity, they cannot fail to give Mr. Patten credit for giving advance notice and warning. He has successfully "cornered" oats, -corn, wheat and cot ton and . in every case predicted, months in advance, that prices would soar. The Patten success lies in a close study of crop conditions. If the Government could induce him to take charge of the Agricultural Depart ment, It would be worth millions to the American farmers. "It would not be at all difficult to locate 90,000 people during the com ing year in Oregon and still have room for many hundred thousand more," said Mr. Louis Hill in commenting on the fact that 90,000 Americans had gone to Canada within the past year. Probably some of the local Pinchotized critics of Mr: Hill will agree with him on this point, but they will continue to rail at Secretary Balllnger, President Taft and every other individual or party that is honestly endeavoring to release ' this - state from the grip of Pinchotlsm and make' its resources so attractive to immigrants that they will no longer be obliged to go to Canada, to enjoy the liberal land policies that are denied them here. Mr. Hill has had exceptional opportunities far ob serving the effect of the blight of Pin chotlsm and is correct in his state ment that "any people who live in cities, and get their ideas of conser vation from the magazines, have false impression as to the best policy in conserving the resources of the West- era states." "Thirty-five dollars a month, two evenings a week out, her washing done free, use of the piano and a telephone in her room" are some of the stipu lations in an answer to an advertise ment for a girl for general housework. She probably forgot to mention the services of. a dressmaker in the house two or three days in . leach month, those of a hairdresser on her two evenings out, and the privilege of lying in bed until breakfast was ready on the two mornings succeeding the two evenings aforesaid. But then a poor girl seeking "employment" cannot be expected .to think of everything at once. Those little details will no doubt come to her later. Strong in the sense of the ' dignity of labor and in the rights which, next to dignity, are its largest asset when it comes to house work, she will no doubt stipulate for these things in" diie time. On certain lines civilization has made but slow progress since the world began. In his religious beliefs the poor benighted heathen is as be nighted and as heathenish in the up-to-date American city as he is in the jungles of darkest Africa. Little Juanita May Nelson, a 2-year-old baby, died of diphtheria over on Grand ave nue a few days ago because her par ents believed in the "power of prayer" as a means of healing the sick. It is a far cry from the shifting sands of the Ganges to Portland, but from a cause and effect standpoint there is really but little difference in the treat ment given poor little Juanita and that which is extended to some of the black bodies which are fed to the crocodiles in India's great river. The victims in both cases are sacrifices to blind super, stition. News comes that Tamp Osborn, erstwhile a mighty league pitcher, was lately captured by a minion of the law after a hot chase through the woods in Pacific County, Washington, and in gloriously landed in jail at Chehalis. He got drunk, sad to say, and turned upon the captain of his team with a knife when the latter attempted to restrain him. And now it is feared the penitentiary yawns for Tamp! Having survived the striking out of the "Mighty Casey" on the historic field of Mudvllle some years ago, it is not unreasonable to hope t'.iat the Na tional game will not succumb to this latest shock of disaster. Perhaps see ing it was Tamp he was expected to get drunk. The rest merely followed. Friends of the county high school won at a special election held in Oregon City for the purpose of voting bonds for the purchase of a site and the erection of a high school building. The contest was somewhat spirited and resulted in a victory for the advo cates of the bond issue by a vote of 76 to 30. A site will be purchased and the erection of the school building be gun without needless delay, in the hope that a portion of it at .least will ! Ha -n . - nn..-. 1.1 TDaII t . ' v ""l wv--Hailv.y 1(119 0.11. X k is said that the majority of over two to one does"not fully represent the fa vor with which the county high school idea is held in Oregon City. It is con sidered a mark of progress which the growing city by the falls cannot afford to miss. Umatilla woolgrowers have money and are not obliged to sell this year's clip. As they want at least 20 cents, It is probable they will get it. The people thus far have shown no anger at the Mayor for his veto pro tecting them from debt and taxes for docks. The health of rich men affects Wall street, and sometimes the "health" of Wall street affects rich' men.. Teamsters may strike for $6 a day. But why don't they turn plumbers and get $8 without a strike? Persons who were affrighted by the comet are quite sure that something really did happen. The worst the comet did to the earth was ,to knock' out the astrono-' mers. The Rose Festival, if held now, would have vast wealth of blooms: This is Oregon strawberry weather. BRYAN'S PROHIBITION PUZZLE.' . What Is "Dry Unit" and What of Dem ocratic Hostility to Sumptuary Laws? Springfield (Mass.) Republican. Mr. Bryan's continued devotion to the old Democratic doctrines of per sonal liberty and anti-sumptuary legis lation leaves him in a difficult . posi tion to deal with local option as he would. Speaking as a guest of the Catholic Total Abstinence Union at Chicago he referred to his own prac tice of total abstinence and the wisdom of It, and then went on with the other or political phase of the question: "I would not favor legislation for bidding use of liquor' at any time or under any circumstances. I would con sider this an unnecessary limitation upon the liberty of the individual, but I am in favor of such restriction as may seem necessary for the protection of society. What I want to emphasize is that there ought to be no objection to the exercise of authority by any unit. The liquor dealer ought to be content to sell where his services are desired, and the manufacturer of liquor ought to be content to dispose of his products among those who desire them. He Is entirely outside of his sphere when he attempts to force his business upon a' community. Whether liquor should be sold in a community is a question which the community can de termine better than outsiders, and I have no disposition to lay down rules upon this subject. I content myself with asserting the right of the com munity to control, and am willing that the community shall decide this ques tion upon its own judgment." The reference to the exercise of pro hibitive authority by "any unit" needs explanation. What is or should be the unit? Towns are political units, so are counties, and so are states; and prohibition or no-license Is apt to be one thing for & single community like a town or city, and another thing for a state where some communities are made able to force their views and sumptuary policies on other communi ties which are hostile to such policies. Mr. Bryan's first remarks in the quoted paragraph would Indicate that he favors the municipality as the unit in prohibitive action, but his later dec larations would evidently make a state prohibitionist out of - him. The old Democratic notion of sumptuary laws does not harmonize very well with the right of a majority even in a town or city to regulate the personal habits of the rest, and even more difficult would it be to reconcile the same with county or state prohibition. STENOGRAPHER KEHBY'S ETHICS His First Dnlj Was to Be faithful to His Superiors. New York Evening Post. Secretary Balllnger Is eminently justi fied in dismissing Jils stenographer. Ker by. Tho same principle applies in this case as in that of Gifford Pinchot. The Government service could not last a year without falling Into chaos if every sub ordinate could take it upon himself to be disloyal to or assail his superior. The breach of discipline in Kerby's case is the more flagrant because of the confi dential relations between himself and the Secretary of the Interior. When men, either in public office or elsewhere, are thrown into such relations there must be absolute fidelity. If the subordinate, whether In or out of the Government service, finds himself taking part in ac tions which his conscience cannot ap prove, he can always resign, and. If nec essary, protest afterward. Of course, there may be an extraordinary case where the facts warrant utter defiance of ordi nary obligations, but we can only recall one such In this country or in Europe. The sound principle is as we have ex pressed it. Springfield Republican. Whatever the stenographer's moral jus tification may be, in his own mind, he betrayed his employers with a wanton disregard of their rights and interests. It was a ridiculous assumption on his part, to begin with, that he understood all the circumstances under which his employers worked. The Kerby episode is so petty that it should not be overemphasized, but it may as well be pointed out to a large class now engaged in stenography and type writing that their . business calls for the development of a code of professional ethics not very unlike that of doctors and lawyers in their confidential relations with patients and clients. New York Times. Kerby, the stenographer who made public the facts in regard to the prepara tion of President Taft's now too famous letter vindicating Secretary Balllnger, will be disappointed, we think, in his ex pectation that his course in the matter will be generally commended as the un selfish performance of a patriotic duty. What his exact motives were can be known, of course, only to himself. There is a possibility that they were high and pure, but it is obvious that, whatever their quality, they led him Into the be trayal of men who trusted him, and that he Ignored an obligation which, by other members of his profession, is considered of vital of " very nearly supreme Im portance. Violating a Trust. " Philadelphia Public Ledger. A stenographer is commonly supposed to occupy a confidential relation with his employer, whether In public or in private life. We do not know how definite a code of ethics has been established in this use ful and honorable profession, but that a stenographer is not at liberty to make public what he has taken down at dicta tion we should regard as elementary. Most stenographers, we have no doubt, would regard this obligation as sacred, and will have their own opinion of one of their guild who, for whatever motive, trades upon the confidence imposed in him. Certainly no employer ould be expected to retain such a one in his serv ice, and the politicians to whom young Mr. Kerby, of the Interior Department, carried his mare's nest will not be able to make a martyr of him in his prompt and proper dismissals. Those Who Pay. Detroit Journal. The Pennsylvania Railroad has raised the wages of 5000 employes. Rather, the lavish patrons of the line have raised them. CURRENT NEWSPAPER JESTS. "Life Is cheap in Afghanistan." "I might motor through it. How are the roads?" Louisville Courier-Journal. Knlcker: "The Government -has issued a pamphlet In favor of hot bread " Bocker: "They will indorse brides' biscuits next." Judse. Putton-Ayres: "I am caviare to the gen eral, you know." Miss Innocent "Oh. are you, really? My brother is in the military, too." Boston Transcript. Sunday S.-hool Teacher: "And what does the petition, 'Forgive us our trespasses.' mean?" Small Pupil: "It means we're sorry we walked on the railroad track." Cleveland Leader. "There goes a man I could have mar ried." she said softly. "Yes." he chuckled, "and I notice that he keops on going as though he were afraid you might try it again." Detroit Free Press. "Who's the hero of this drama?" said the stage manager at a first rehearsal. "I am," shouted a man from an obscure cor ner of the theater. "I'm the fellow who Is putting up the money for the production." Washington Star. "I have," said the speaker, "been for 20 years before the public, and in all that time no man has ever dared to accuse me of having committed one dishonest act." "Mebby," said a man at the rear end of the hall, "the public was too busy with more Important things to notice that, you were before It." -Chicago Record-Herald. COAL RESERVES CHECK SETTLER Mondell's Bill Would Grant Surface Titles for Agriculture. Salt Lake Tribune. A strong protest is being forwarded by the Chamber of Commerce of Sheri dan, Wyo.. in favor of Representative Mondell's bill allowing agricultural en tries on coal lands. The idea is to give surface rights only, with no right of mining. Many millions of acres of land in the West have been classified as coal lands and thus withdrawn from agricul tural entry. Much of this land, however, is not coal land, and a good deal more is so poor in coal that it would be un profitable to mine it. The Mondell bill, under the circum--stances, Is one of very great N impor tance. The withdrawal of these vast tracts of coal lands from .agricultural entry means that thousands of would be homesteaders will be driven away and their settling of the West will be lost for years to come; for it seems an almost impossible task to get lands, once .withdrawn, restored to public en try, even after the purpose or ostensi ble purpose for which they were with drawn has passed or been fulfilled. The request made is that all who are Interested in this matter should get up as numerously signed petitions as pos sible, and forward them to Representa tive F. W. Mondell, Washington. D. C. It is a pretty late time in the Congres sional session, so that action should be taken at once. It Is clearly a detriment to the settle ment of the West to have these whole sale land withdrawals, and as the Mon dell bill promises a mitigation of a por tion of the evil3 attending them, the Western people should act vigorously and immediately in its support. LOWELL DEFENDS MARS THEORY. Tells Europe Its -Air I Not Clear Like Arizona's for Sky Study. Paris Dispatch New York Times. Prof. Percival Lowell, at the urgent Invitation of the Sorbonne, will deliver another lecture on Mars in Paris on May 3. He has returned here after vis iting London and Berlin, and will delay his return to America to deliver this second lecture here. Prof. Lowell will answer his scien tific critics who assert that the obser vations made through two larger tele scopes than his own in America have proved the non-existence- of the so called Martian canals. Prof. Lowell, a friend of his states, will declare that European astronomers are unable to take correct observa tions of heavenly bodies because the atmosphere over this part of the globe is too much laden with vapor, and thus subject to refractions of light which are seriously misleading. In Arizona, on the other hand, the clarity of the atmosphere is perfect. Prof. Lowell also contends that there Is such a thing as making a telescope too big. He cannot use, he says, the full power of his own Instrument. What is needed in a telescope Is not size essentially, and this is not possi ble, he says, in atmosphere which is not remarkably clear. The lens of his telescope in Arizona Prof. Lowell avers, is proved by the Hartman test to be the best of all the monster ones in the world. If, he adds, he can find a purer, atmosphere than that of Arizona anywhere else In the world he will remove his observatory to that place. NEW LITANY OF MARY MACLANE. Some of . the 'Things She Prays the Devil to Deliver Her From. Mary MacLane in Butte News. From union suits; from-red ink. from a black satin petticoat; from the kind of a man who calls me cold-blooded because I refuse to sit holdfng hands with him after I've known him just four minutes; from the people with hankerings for "culture"; from spin ach and dandelion greens with sand in them; from incorrect grammar; from the flat Western pronunciation of the letter "a"; from wreckless rhetoric: from the hideous and disgusting old foul humor of Rabelais; from a bed or a cocoanut cake that sinks in the mid dle; from human beings with malice and cruelty of heart, in them. Kind Devil, deliver me. From scarlet fever; from people who do their thinking on the .outside of their heads: from slap-stick come dians: from bent pins and unsharpened lead pencils; from pikers and hedgers; from a cocktail made with Italian ver muth; from bed fellows who eat cook ies; from people with more than the usual number of bats in their belfries; from cross-eyed butchers; from false teeth, tapeworms, floating kidneys and glass eyes; from the odor of a dead rat behind a wainscoting. Kind Devil, deliver me. Concerning Helen Keller. VANCOUVER. Wash., May 25. (To the Editor.) Did Helen Keller graduate from Radcllffe University? 2. What is she doing now, and where Is she living? 3. What has been her influence upon the public, or what effect has her life had upon society? 4. Have there been prominent articles written about her since her autobiog raphy was written in 1903? 6. What estimate has been placed upon her intellectual abilities? K. C. LIES BR. 1. Graduate of Radcllffe College, 1904. 2. Writes occasional articles for maga zines. Lives at Wrentham. Mass. 3. She has been a decided inspiration to all efforts in aid of persons congenltally defective. 4. Several prominent articles have been written about her since 1303, viz.: By J. S. Rankin, in the Elementary Schoolteacher; E. E. Hale in the Outlook; J. Jastrow in the Popular Science Mbnthly. Several poems and editorial comments have also been written. 5. She has fair ability. Considering her handicaps, her achievements are almost miraculous. For a normal person they would be creditable. Origin of Engrllsh Fashions. Gentlewoman, London. It would be interesting to trace the progress of fashion In England from the days of King Alfred, when, commerce having extended the arts and sciences and opened up communication with the rest of the world, men began to grow rich and women to study the art of dress. For some centuries England set her own fashions, indeed. It would appear that It was no: until after the French Revo lution that Parisians began to set ' the fashion for English women. Once more the signs of the times seem to point to a growing desire in this country to origi nate our own modes a desire which the leading London firms are happily in a position to encourage. Her Diaphragmatic Resistance. Topeka State Journal. The wonderful endurance power of women is evidenced again by the fact that a husky New York college man, who was rehearsing in.' a girl's part in a" play, fell In a fit and remained un conscious for some time, and for no other reason than that he had been wearing a tightly laced corset for a couple of hours. Not So Hard. Catholic Standard and Times. "It was rather hard to lose your daugh ter, eh?" remarked the guest, after the wedding. "Oh! no." replied the bride's father. "It did seem hard at one time, but Mary finally landed this fellow Just as we were losing all hope." LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE "I lunched with Winston Churchill in London," said a Journalist, "during his remarkable campaign. This brilliant young Cabinet Minister, with his Ameri can blood through his mother and his ducal blood through his father, . praised American journalists. "He gave me an example of our perse verance. Not less than 47 American cor respondents called on him at the Board of Trade offices for an interview one week on the American tariff, and as none of them had sufficiently good credentials, he refused to see them. "Finally a correspondent came with a. letter from Mr. Lloyd-George, and him Mr. Churchill saw gladly. - " 'Do you know,' he said to the young man, 'tr.at I have refused to see 17 of your compatriots on this very subject?' " 'I ought to know It.' the correspondent answered, 'for I'm the whole 47.' Phil adelphia Bulletin. At an adjourned Town Council meeting in a town In Scotland a member casual ly mentioned that a person could not en joy or even distinguish between drinks in the dark. A worthy bailie denied this and offered to bet that, blindfolded, he could name any drink given him. The bet being accepted and the bailie blind folded, the test commenced. The bailie drank everything submitted, smacked his lips and correctly named the drink until the taker was in despair. Then, "try him wi' water." whispered a Councillor, and the hint was taken. Sip smack sip a shake of the head "I canna Just mind the name o' this, but I mind o' tasting It when I was a wee laddie." Buffalo Commercial. Coltjnoel Roosevelt is said to have told King Haakon of Norway of some of his ranching experiences, and one effective speech he had made in a Western mining camp against free silver while Seth Bul lock sat on a platform behind him. He spoke for an hour, and not a man inter rupted him. Every one In the house seemingly was deeply Interested. At the conclusion of the speech he said to one of his ranching friends: "I think I held the audience pretty well." "Held the audience well:" exclaimed his friend. "Seth Bullock with a six shooter In each hip watching the crowd had given the tip that he'd penetrate the first man who peeped!" Philadelphia Record. Bridget had not been maid of an work in the family of a well-known literary woman for six months ever since land ing without assimilating more or less household news. At first she had asked her mistress to save her wages for her, but at the end of six months she expressed a desire for some money. "I'll give you this, as I'm a little short of money today," said the lady, and she tendered Bridget a. check for the full amount due her. Before she had an opoportunity to ex plain about the bank, the young Irish girl hard backed away from her, hands behind her, shaking her head with violence. "No, mim," she said firmly, "no. mim. if you plaze. I'm no ortygraft collector; 'twould be no good to me, mim. I'd rather the money, if you plaze." Youth's Companion. The late Senator Piatt, discussing one day in Washington an economy he had no faith in, said: "Such an economy reminds me of old Smith and his keg of beer. "Smith and. his wife used to drink a quart of beer every night before retiring. This Indulgence cost them 10 cents. But Smith came home one day in great excite ment and said: " 'Here's a man with a barrel of beer. It will only cost us 4 cents a quart this way. An economy of 6 cents. Huldah.' "Thar evening the Smiths sampled the new barrel and they found it good. After the pitcher was finished, Mrs. Smith said slowly: " 'George, we've saved 6 cents on our beer tonight.' " "We have so.' answered George, 'and 6 cents saved is 6 cents earned." " 'Well. George." said hts wife, 'shall we have another quart and save 12 cents?" " Washington Star. Bridge Hints. Smart Set. With the years against you. never venture a weak heart declaration unless you have diamonds enough to pull you through. Holding a commanding club, don't hesitate to tell the cook it looks like rain, if the soup Justifies the declara tion. ' If you hold a good heart, don't dis card it. Never waste time attempting to finesse when your wife is obviously leading up to a new broadcloth suit. If you find an unguarded knave, kick him and run. If you are short of honors, never mind many an obscure man dies rich. With three good suits and four dia monds, it is safe to accept an invita tion to a week-end party. If your partner Is a dummy, don't complain; she probably wouldn't have married you if she hadn't been. With the score against you. tip the waiter liberally. Do not make a practice of leading through the cafe door. How to Divide With the Birds. . ' Garden Magazine. In 'June the fruitgrower begins to enjoy some of the rewards of his labor. He can have better strawberries than money will often buy those of the highest quality, as Marshall. William Belt, etc., that have been left on the plants until they are fully ripe, and are sweet and luscious. If the strawberry plants have not been well mulched, place green grass or lawn clippings between the rows, -using litter that will keep the berries clean and retain mois ture. Later In the month the cherries begin to ripen. It is cheaper to feed the birds on mulberries than on cher ries, so plant a few mulberry trees In the cherry orchard. If the birds will only come and stay with us we can af ford to plant sufficient fruit for both them and ourselves. Reflections of a Bachelor. New York Press. A lot of people know more than Is good for those who have to hear about It. A man's good temper can wear out mighty fast when his wife questions it. There's hardly any work so hard as having nothing to do. The time a woman is particularly Insistent you should tell her that her husband has brains when she knows he hasn't. A good thing about running flying machines is you won't have to meet friends at every corner who expect you to take them in. Halley. W. J. Lampton. In New Tork Tribune. ' Did anj-body here see Halley. Halley with a great long tail? Did anybody here see Halley, And suddenly turn pale? Did anybody here see Halley. Halley. they said, was tT Did anybody here see Halley, And throw a comet fit? Did anybody here see Halley, Halley. that starry Josh? Did anybody here see Halley. And feel his passing wash? Did anybody here see Halley, Halley. whom all of us know? Did anybody here see Halley. Halley and his bobtail show? Did ans'tody here see Halley, Halley they'd billed to come With & show that was worth the money But. oh! say, wasn't it bum? Did anybody here see Halley? If anybody did. by heck! He ought to be bounced If he didn't Hand him one In the neck.