10
THE JIOKypfG OHEGOyiAN. SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 1910.
FOKTLASU, OREGOJi.
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PORTXAJfD, BATUKDAT, APRIL 28, 1910.
LASD V'ALIE AND HIGH PRICKS.
' ' Not the least of the causes of high
cost of subsistence Is increased price
of land in the West. Yet strangely
discussion of the threadbare subject of
cost of living rarely counts this con
. tributlng force of larger prices.
: ; Always heretofore the American
people have had a chap-land region
to the West, whither to go for relief
from population pressure and high
cost of foodstuffs. Now most of this
land that is desirable is owned ahead
of settlers who used to buy it from
the government at $2.60 or $1.25 an
acre$or obtained it free under the do
nation land act. Much good land that
settfexs would like to get is withheld
front- them by so-called conservation
oflfiqjtls. In Oregon and Washington,
for example, hardly any desirable
tracts in the public domain are open
to homebullders of the class that
would come from the thick swarms of
price-oppressed people in the East and
the Middle West.
Extravagance in personal habits and
lack of old-time home economies are
ascribed by some publicists as factors
In the higher-price level. Others see
in the extortions of middlemen the
source of the trouble. High tariff and
tfttsTs are designated by Democratic
stump speakers, as at Rochester, N. Y.
Cheapening of gold, -through abun
dance of that metal, and expanded use
f paper credits, is the favorite ex
; planation of coinage enthusiasts. Sur
feit of non-productive labor and un
willingness of men to engage in farm
tasks are also ascribed as agencies of
the unsatisfactory condition. Fast
growth of officialdom in the numer
ous departments of National and local
government Is counted as a contribu
tor to the unrest.
It is undoubtedly true that farmers
could greatly increase their output of
food products if they could secure
willing, efficient help. Every farmer
in Oregon and Washington knows this
to be true, and it is true the country
over. This is one phase of the prob
lem. Yet the change from the old
condition of --pen land in the West is
striking to one who reflects upon it.
It means shifting of economic forces
and alterations in social forces of the
, Nation. For land that has grown in
value from $20 an acre to $200 calls
for a higher price level in the grain
and fruit and meat that it yields, or
on the other side of the equation, the
greater demand for supplies, without
being accompanied by commensurate
supply, raises the value of the source
of the supply.
Labor, however, is quite as impor
tant an agency in production of means
of subsistence as is , land, and hereaf-
; ter hands will have to work the land
' harder.
OIK UNDESIRABLE CITTZKH'S.
The census enumeration is bringing
to light a number of undesirable citi
zens, and again revealing necessity for
I more stringent immigration laws. The
density of the ignorance of Carpenter
. Sorensen was such that he refused the
; necessary information for the prepos-
; terous reason that he believed the cen
sus a "graft." His arrest was followed
by that of nine others who gave their
names as Stanca Wyodich, Rade Milo
vich, Yllja Michunovich, Thimius
Louis, Ambross Alliki, Sandros Ko
mlos, Leonides Latras, Chinio Borks
, and Mike Vulch. There is not much
of an American twang to any of these
names, and the attitude of the men
makes it quite clear that the United
States is a gainer by not having them
- on the citizenship rolls. The fact
that this list strongly resembles that
of a Saghalien Island penal colony or
a Black Hand brotherhood does not
reflect on the respectable, law-abiding
and decent members of society who
have come here from Russia, Austria
and Italy, and have proven valuable
additions to our population.
As in the Sorensen case, the actions
of these men disclose an utter disre
gard and contempt for the country
which is supplying them with better
. homes and greater freedom than their
wildest dreams ever, pictured before
they inflicted themselves on us. Some
excuse for the contemptible ignorance
of these men can be found, however,
in the attitude of some of our own citl
: zens. In The Oregonian yesterday,
under a Pittsburg dateline, we were
informed that W. D. Haywood, of the
Western Federation of Miners, ad-
dressed the strikers and "aroused the
foreign element to enthusiasm" by
stating, among other things, that "thj
majority of. exalted Americans are
grafters." Haywood, by the failure of
the evidence to prove him guilty of a
long list -.f murders with which he
was charged, is still an American citi
zen. Born' and reared in this coun
try and having an opportunity to un
derstand the superiority of American
' political and economic conditions over
those of every other country, Hay
wood's deliberate attempt to misrep
resent these conditions makes him a
far more undesirable citizen than the
Milovichs, the Wyodichs and the Sor
ensens, who were not born here.
Perhaps the strangest feature of
this un-American attitude of the
aliens, as well as the . native-born
Haywoods, Is the tenacity with which
they stick to a country which they
pretend to believe is such an objec
tionable and undesirable place of resi
dence. America suits the Americana,
but no obstacles have ever been placed
in the way of dissatisfied aliens who
desire to leave it. As a matter of
fact, we always encounter difficulty in
forcing some of this foreign element
to drift back to the land from which
it came. About the only foreign na
tions that contribute to .our popu
tlon uncomplaining aliens are the Chi
nese, Japanese and Hindus. These
races seem so well satisfied with the
country that they never venture any
criticism as to the manner in which it
should be conducted.
Even these Orientals do not come
under the heading of desirable citizens,
but they are much more desirable than
the Haywoods and the foreign element
that enthuses over the Haywood sen
timents. There is not the slightest
probability, however, that either Hay
wood or any of his foreign converts
will leave the country, for in no other
country does the professional jaw
smith and agitator enjoy such a wide
range of freedom as in the good old
U. S. A.
LETT THE CENSUS BE (OMPIJETE.
Half of the period allotted by law
for enumeration of persons living in
cities for the thirteenth census has ex
pired. Only seven days remain.
A considerable percentage of Port
land's population were not at their
usual places of abode when enumera
tors called on the first round, nor at
the second, nor the third. This is es
pecially true of occupants of Jodging
houses all over the city.
It is therefore urged upon these to
fill out at once the individual blanks
left at their rooms and mail them
to the supervisor.
Employers are urged to call atten
tion of every employe to the necessity
of being enumerated. If the name and
address of any one who has been
missed is furnished to the census of
fice, a special enumerator will be dis
patched to him. The office in the
Lumber Exchange building. Second
and Stark, may be communicated with
by telephone, Marshall 1422, or Home
A 7213. Let no one be missed at this
count.
THE IVTi IXIJXJ PIOXEEBS.
The grim reaper this Spring has
taken away a large number of pioneer
citizens. The season has not seemed
unusually severe on persons of ad
vanced age, but the Winter was, per
haps. Yet the severity of the chill
months nerved many of them. Just as
the labors of "crossing the plains"
did, to "see It through," and thus they
persevered until the fresh-flower time.
George H. Williams' life flickered
out amid the gentle breaths of April.
James A. Waymire, well known in
Oregon in the early days, passed be
yond a few days ago in California.
Jacob Flelschner, pioneer merchant of
Portland, has Just been laid to rest.
Mrs. Clarinda M. McKnight, of Linn
County, last week Joined the' throng
beyond at the age of 75 years, after
having spent her life in Oregon since
1852. Robert Howe, of 1851, died at
Dallas ten days ago at the age of 72.
Mrs. Mary Polsgrove Porter, of 1865,
answered the final summons a few
days ago at Grants Pass, aged 87, Da
vid Froman, of 1851, aged 88 years, is
mourned at Albany.
Wider swaths are appearing in the
ranks of the pioneer builders with
each passing year. It is the natural
course, but none the less saddening
on that account. These men and
women responded to a call from the
West with a spirit that now is faintly
understood. Their example teaches
one' of life's lessons, that gain of
wealth is not so worthy nor memora
ble an achievement as the upbuilding
of sturdy character and the winning
of posterity's heritage.
BUSINESS AT TIDEWATER. '
Two mammoth steamships are due
at Portland tomorrow, after a long
voyage from Antwerp. They are
bringing for Portland Jobbers huge
stocks of crockery, iron, steel, fire
brick, liquors and other great staples
for which there is a universal demand
from Portland, Or., to Portland. Me.
This freight will be discharged on
the Portland docks at a freight rate
about one-half the amount charged
for the rail haul across the American
continent. This rate will enable the
Portland jobbers to pay the duty and
still have enough of an advantage over
any port dependent on rail facilities
to admit of shipping these staples as
far inland as Montana in direct com
petition with jobbers who are not lo
cated on tidewater.
Monday another steamship will ar
rive with New York freight that left
the Atlantic Coast less than thirty
days ago, and will be landed at Port
land at a freight rate that it is impos
sible for the railroads to meet. These
arrivals are, of course, in the regu
lar order of business, and naturally
show why terminal rates are obtain
able only where there are water ter
minals to make them. ,
A TRAGEDY OF THE WHJJS7
A tragedy of the wilds was enacted
in the mountains of Southern Oregon
a few weeks ago, when James Mc
Guire, a miner bowed with years and
gnarled by rude toil, shot and killed
his only companion In isolation
George Knapka, also an old man, with
whom he had had differences upon
boundary lines or priority of right to a
mining claim, or something of that
sort.
There was a bitter feud between
these two lonely old men. The very
essence of hatred Is at times distilled
by isolation, where it would seem that
the spirit of comradeship should pre
vail. Several instances have transpired
within a year wherein hatred resulting
in murder has been brewed between
man and wife, resulting disastrously to
the lattar, solely by reason of the su
perior physical strength of the former.
Having nothing else to think about,
utterly without the wider interests and'
common touch of humanity In gen
eral, they tire of each other and be
come bitter enemies, where they
should be closest friends.
A shocking tragedy of this nature
was enacted in the -mountains of
Washington County a few months ago,
the isolation-crazed husband rising
from the breakfast table in their lone
ly cabin home and hacking his wife
to death with a bread knife, because
she gave him milk instead of cream in
his coffee. In the case now on trial
at Grants Pass the self-confessed mur
derer went armed to the spring,
which the two men used in common,
and (according to his story) shot his
associate of the wilds to keep the lat
ter from shooting him, and afterward
rode all night in the bitter cold to
the nearest settlement to tell his story
and surrender to the authorities.
The feud between these men had
been brewed In the wilds; its basis was
without special significance to either.
The fight between them may be
likened to that of two animals of the
forest contending for the possession
of a bone, practically valueless to
either, but each determined to secure
it. Such a contest under such condi
tions fills for the time being the en
tire horizon of the contestants and
becomes, whether the animals are
brute or human, a veritable matter of
life and death.
It is exceedingly difficult to secure
Jurors to try a man who kills his fel
low, prompted thereto by the distilled
hatred of Isolation, and then in serene
self-Justification hies him away to tell
about the crime which he could easily
have concealed. The circumstance
represents a phase of human nature
which it is hard to understand and
upon which intelligent men instinct
ively feel themselves incompetent to
pass judgment, when a life hangs upon
their verdict.
PARTISAN STUFF FROM IDAHO.
A friend at Boise, Idaho, sends to
The Oregonian a copy of the Capital
News, a Democratic newspaper, which
has much fault to find with The Ore
gonian's views on the proposal of the
Democrats, Populists and near-Republicans
of Washington to support and
nominate Poindexter for Senator at
the approaching Republican primary,
"If," declares the Democratic News,
"the people of Washington elect a
majority of the Legislature commit
ted or pledged to the election of Poln
dexter, what right has The Oregonian
or any other paper, or any person on
tarth, to question their right to have
Poindexter?" Now mark that "if.'
If the majority of the next Washing
ton Legislature is definitely committed
or pledged to Poindexter or any other
for Senator, there is nothing more to
be said. Nor has The Oregonian said
anything in advocacy of violation of
pledges duly made.
It is not very important, but it may
n wen enough to say that the Boise
newspaper makes an utterly false rep
resentation of The Oregonian's state
ments and position. Nothing better
couia De expected from such a source
The Oregonian has sought to call at
tention tc a situation in Washington
to ,vhlch every Republican and every
otner citizen ought to be alive, and
that is the probability that Poindexter
will be Dominated for Senator by Dem
ocratic, Populist and Insurgent votes.
If he shall be thus nominated, the Re
publican party will be corrupted, de
bauched and defrauded, and the will
of the party will be utterly subverted
end defeated at its own primary.
If any candidate for the Legislature
takes a pledge in advance to vote for
the Republican party's choice," he
will probably be obliged to vote for
Poindexter. If that's the sort of
thing he i.ants, he wants that sort of
thing. But the Republican party
doesn t want it. The Democrats and
Populists do. That is the reason they
are willing to go to the extreme of
perjury by voting at a Republican
primary. Has the News no word of
protest against this particular variety
or outrage? Of course not, for it is
chiefly Interested in wrecking the
Republican party.
MARK TWAIN. .
It is a singular Instance of the
irony of fate that Mark Twain, the
man who most of all in his generation
has lightened the burden of human
cares and eased the lot of man in this
weary worjd, should have died of
angina pectoris, a disease among the
most painful of those to which flesh
is subject. A creator of Joy through
out his literary career,. he himself has
known plenteous sorrow and tasted
the bitter cup of adversity. Like Sir
Walter Scott, ho was involved by the
indiscretions of his publisher in fi
nancial disasters which the law would
have permitted him to elude, but
which his stern sense of honor com
pelled him to assume. "Verging
toward old age and, as he may have
thought, secure in the possession of
ample fortune, this calamity led him
to renew his literary labors with more
than the energy of youth and before"
his death he had the consolation of
knowing that he owed no person a
penny, even constructively. Of his
four children three perished before
their time. If, therefore, we perceive . in
Mark Twain's humor a tinge of Autum
nal bitterness, a sense of the tragic in
human affairs oftentimes predominat
ing over the mirthsome, there is pro
found reason for it in the experiences
.of his life. The wonder is that, inas
much as he had known sorrow so in
timately and the keen edge of ad
versity so well, his thought should
have remained consistently sane and
his wit kindly, if sometimes shrewd.
For it is characteristic of Mark
Twain's philosophy of life that it was
optimistic. Bitterly as he could re
proach the shortcomings of persons
and institutions, he never despaired of
the good time when all shall be well
with the children of men in their
earthly home. In telling of the cruel
ties at King Arthur's court, he proph
esied the days when wise love shall
reign among men. The life of Joan
of Arc was not to him the hopeless
tragedy which it seems to many to
have been. The fire in which the
lovely maiden perished, with the
heartless fanatics who had condemned
her looking on pitilessly, lighted other
fires in his triumphant vision which
shall never be extinguished until they
have consumed the last remnant of
superstition from the -face of the
earth.
If there was one thing that Mark
Twain hated more than another it
was a lie. It is of the very essence
of humor to see the falsehood under
lying pretentious institutions and
pompous dogmas as well as to see the
truth in the humble ways of men and
the beauty of lowly deeds, and Mark
Twain was in the deep sense of the
word a humorist. He surpassed any
other of our countrymen in that' prim
itive art of exaggeration which is
sometimes supposed to be the whole
of American humor, but he had also
the higher gift of putting truth in
new and unexpected lights, and of
exposing falsehood by striking com
parisons, which ranks those who pos
sess it with the great geniuses of the
world. Such is the humor of Shakes
peare and Montaigne. Mark Twain
in his best moments stands with these
masters almost as their peer. If
tenderness is the criterion by which
humor is to be judged, then there
never was a truer master of it than
he was. Bitingly as he sometimes
writes, it is never to defend injustice.
Thoroughly as he can hate, he never
hates anything but cruelty and false
hood. His satire is always directed
against institutions and beliefs which
ought to perish. His books may be
searched from the first page to the
last, but not a sentencs will be found
in any of them which condones In
justice or apologizes for wrong.
Twain's humor differs from Charles
Lamb's as a clear September morning
differs from a day in June. Lamb is
seldom satirical unless we agree to
call pure fun satire. The little Jokes
which he pokes at lis Aunt Betsy
Bobbett in the "Essay on Whist" come
as near to unkindness as he ever ap
proached, and that was very far away
Indeed. Mark Twain could be unkind,
but It was always in the cause of jus
tice. Some of his sentences pass out
of the gentle realm of humor alto
gether and become wit of the keenest
sort. His fun is seldom without an
edge, which is the sai e thing as say
ing that it always has a purpose. If
his arrows are sharply pointed, they
are invariably aimed at creatures
which deserve to perish. If he sees
the weaknesses of men more clearly
than the circumstances which excuse
them, we must admit that his vision
perceives only those weaknesses which
are allied to crimes.
It will be forever remembered of
Mark Twain tr his glory how he hated
deception, how he scorned imposture,
how he fought with cruelty. In all
hlj books, and they are many, not one
sentence can be found which apolo
gizes for injustice. He often sneered,
but always at some hypocrisy or
baseness. His kindliness is frosty, but
It Is genuine. His intelligence is too
alert to be deceived by any of the
disguises of hyp-crisy, but when he
has unmasked a wrong he is ready to
pity the sinner. Very likely "Tom Saw
yer" will be ranked as Mark Twain's
best book. Future generations will
no doubt call it a great work of
genius. It is of epic scope and it
possesses a firmness of structure and
a breadth of conception which will
probably take hold on Immortality.
The humor of it is true as steel and
invariably, sane. The knowledge of
human nature in Shakespearean. The
conduct of the plot is masterly. The
dialect is a linguistic creation. It Is
the epic of the pioneer West, an ample
work, with wide horizons, profound
psychology and moving incident, as
pathetic as the fate of man, as wise
as the Bible. Nobody could have
written it but one who had seen all
sides of life and suffered all the vicis
situdes of the common lot. The book
lives in eternal power and glows with
the beauty of everlasting truth, it is
not enough to have read it once. We
return to it year after year as we. do
to "Cymbeline" and "David Copper
field." It lives. It throbs. It is life
in deep similitude and all veracity.
The criticism of the world has al
ready placed Mark Twain among the
immortals. There are voices which
would seat him very high among
them. It is conceivable that in a
thousand years from now he will be
the best remembered writer of his
century In the United States, perhaps
the only. one whose fame will not have
yielded to the persistent attacks of
time.
There Is a scarcity of sailors along
the waterfront. Now would be an ex
cellent time for the theoretical re
formers who believe that the sailor
boarding-house man can be dispensed
with to rustle a few sailors to man the
numerous ships that will otherwise be
ready for sea within the next few days.
At every session of the Legislature
some of these well-meaning but im
practical men go up to Salem with
bills intended to disturb the present
arrangement by which sailor abuses In
the port have practically ceased. Nat
urally in the Winter, when the Legis
lature is In session, there are more Idle
men than In the Summer, and there Is
a possibility that at least a part of a
crew could be picked up by the ship
master, or some of the foreign Consuls,
without any expense to the ship. In
the Summer time, however, it is al
ways a difficult matter to secure sail
ors, and the outlook Is now favorable
for some of' the ships to be detained
after they are loaded.
All political parties and all branches
and factions of political parties are
represented in the Seattle Bar Associ
ation, which has just passed, with one
dissenting vote, a resolution condemn
ing the action of an Eastern magazine
in referring to Mr. Balllnger as a
"shyster." The resolution reviews at
length the court reqords In the cases
mentioned by the muckrakers and de
clares that the charges made are with
out foundation. These facts, in pos
session of the Seattle Bar Association,
will in time fall into the hands of the
character assassins who have been
hounding Balllnger for months, and
may then be acknowledged; but the
slanders set afloat for the purpose of
making a sensation are almost certain
to remain uncontradicted in some
places and the innocence of the victim
will not earn for him the full meas
ure of Justice that is due him for the
unwarranted attack.
New Orleans has organized . the
World's Panama Exposition Company
for the purpose of holding a fair in
honor of the opening of the Panama
Canal. This fair as a National project
will, of course. Interfere with the suc
cess of the Pacific Coast fair, which
will be held in San Francisco. Di
vision of energies will not bring the
best results even in a world's "fair, and
an effort should be made to keep the
big show confined to one locality.
:
All testimony agrees that Mark
Twain of the West In his younger years
was quite a different man from Samuel
Clemens of the East, after age and ex
perience had mellowed his character
and family ties had developed the
finer fiber of his nature. It Is the
later man with whom memory .will
deal in eulogistic strain today; the
later Mark Twain, who will be fol
lowed to the grave tomorrow with ten
der regret.
Amrtrtor iha elioan anloa Arwt
from Wheeler County this week are
3ouu neaa or mixed yearlings at $3.50
Aarh. whilA old auras bi-rmcVii- 9 En
each. The sheep industry, even with
a snorcening supply or rree range, can
hardly prove very unprofitable at
these figures.
No matter what the Interstate Com
mission does with the Pullman cars,
we suppose the lower berth man will
always regard the upper berth man as
an Intruder.
Every woman Is counted in the cen
sus, no matter whether she everpasses
the age of 40, so that little fibs don't
make any difference.
Another bunch of alleged liars has
got back from Mount McKinley, but
the North -Pole has not been heard
from recently.
The Seattle papers say that the cen
sus will doubtless show 300,000 people
there. Pretty good for a city with
200,000 people.
Senator Aldrieh desire.e. tn retire rt
his own volition. The Senator Vine al
ways been a shrewd politician.
There is yet grave doubt about that
comet, because no milkman has been
known to see It.
BEWARE "PEOPLE'S CHOICE" TRAP
WW Republican In Washington Be
Snared aa In OrrgonT
Centralla New Examinee
Are the Republicans of Washington
going to drift, with their eyes open,
into the same political absurdities that
the people of Oregon walked into with
their eyes shut? It was a nice-sounding
statement No. 1 that caused the Re
publicans of Oregon calmly to accept a
Democrat to represent them in the
United States Seriate. The people of
Washington have an equivalent to
Statement No. 1, and if the candidates
for the State Legislature accept that
statement and promise to vote for the
so-called people's choice for United
States Senator, either Poindexter or
some other Democrat will surely be
elected, and he will not be the people's
choice either.
The direct primary law, Instead of
guaranteeing the Republicans their
choice of a candidate for any public
office, and the Democrats their choice.
foists upon the people as a whole a
candidate that Is apt to be disappoint
lng to both parties, and one that is
particularly distasteful to the majority
or dominant party. For instance, at the
direct primary election this Fall the
Democrats will vote for Poindexter; be
cause, first, he 'is in sympathy with the
Democratic political doctrines, and is
really, if not nominally, a Democrat;
and, second, should a good sound Demo
crat be nominated on the regular Demo
cratic ticket he would have little trou
ble in defeating Poindexter, whereas he
would have no chance should a good.
sound Republican be pitted against him,
It will be useless for the Republicans
of Washington, after election, ,to say
they did not realize the state of affairs
that existed. They know Just what
awaits them, should they walk into the
trap set for them, for they have the
object lesson of Oregon before them.
Any legislator who goes to Olympia
next Fall pledged to vote for an un
known niHHntfl fnr- TTnttA4 Qtataa San
ator, .for pledges. It? given at all, will
be given before the primary election.
will violate his oath of office; an oath
that obligates him to act in conformity
with the state constitution; and the
state constitution provides for the
election of a United States Senator by
the State Legislature as a whole, and
not by Individual members hampered
with ante-election pledges.
MARY MACLAJiE HATES NEW YORK
Says It. Parins Stonea Have Earmarks
of Hell.
Mary MacLane in Butte Evening News.
. I know New York as I know Butte.
Montana, for exactly what it is. I have
no roseate illusion about it. It has
lodged me not as a transient bird of
passage, but as one of the four million
who call it home. I well know that it
is no place to go to gather lilies. Its
paving stones are the paving stones of
hell. But on them walk people who are
more wonderful than lilies. And the
lesson it teaches is the adamant truth
Itself. It's the subtle freemasonry
among the millions, the silent recognition
ana understanding of each other's hu
manness and the half suggestion of intl
macy that one feels toward all or any
of the persons one meets and passes on
Broadway it's that that's all ' the charm
and enchantment of it. And, too, it's
that together with the glitter of the
white way, that is the most alluring and
treacnerous and annihilating of all the
attributes of the vampire.
In truth, it is that quality that is the
vampire. For its intimacy with human
beings and all that it betokens the ex
changing of bits of one's personality for
bits of another's, the idiosyncracles of
friendship, the nerve-racking experience
of being in love, the hypnotic effects of
one personality upon another, the utter
throwing to the winds of all one's re
serves of body and soul before the com
pelling magnetisms of some and the
lesser Intoxication of knowing one's own
domination of others it is all these
things that devour flesh and blood and
nerve. They eat their way from the
outer wall that guards the crude human
being to the inmost keep of the citadel
One's loves and friendships have effects
on one's slim young body and one's way
ward mind that are more malignant than
cocaine and more subtle than absinthe.
But it's all so exquisitely and poetically
and seductively worth while.
What a picture of youth it is in the
Martin at 4 in the afternoon! a picture
of tired, tired youth, women like crushed
lilies or half-wllted Jonquils. They are
all In the clutch of the vampire. The
mark of the vampire is on their delicately
rouged and faintly-drooping lips, in the
glint of their all-knowing eyes, upon
their insolent brows and in the move
ments of their slender hands. Their
hearts and bodies are weary from the
ceaseless glitter of the world and from
their endless pursuit of pleasure a
pleasure like an ignis fatuus that is al
ways a little way beyond, .that never,
never waits. I have myself seen it around
corners, behind doors, at the top of
flights of stairs always beyond, never
in my hands or by my side. I have sat,
times, in the Martin, with some delectable
companion, twirling the stem of my
absinthe glass with my thumb and finger
and with my chin on my hand, and
looked about at the gay-hearted com
pany and wondered If they knew they
had never caught up with the ignis fatuus
pleasure, and never would and if they
did that the flavor of the grape would
become wormwood on their lips, and the
daylight shadowed, and the musio stilled.
Pointed Paraarrapba,
Chicago News.
The man who isn't capable of giving
advice always has the habit.
A farmer's wife says that boys are
almost as hard to raise as turkeys.
A woman will take a man's word for
anything she is unable to disprove.
A man can get his understanding
polished for a nickel, but not his in
tellect. When we see some women on parade
we wonder how they get themselves
unharnessed at night.
One little moth that gets away wor
ries a woman more than all her early
love affairs put together.
Call of the wild.
Buffalo Commercial.
Just as soon as the Colonel lands in
New York, a Macedonian cry will reach
him from Indiana and he will be asked
to go out there to help Senator Beveridge
in his canvass for re-election. This will
be something of a poser, in view of the
anti-Administration sentiment in that
state.
Spring- Suggestion.
Kansas City Post.
Don't say anything you may wish
you had left unsaid, and In early Spring
don't take off anything you may have
to put back on again.
Better Pay
New York Sun.
Stella The census man gets only
three cents a name.
Bella Well, I'll get fifty thousand
for taking Jack's.
Too Busy.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Most of the successful men in this coun
try are so busy making money that they
have absolutely no time to make good cit
izens of the1- sons.'
I COLD-STORAGE FOOD CHEAPER!
That Would Be Its Effect on Prices
but for Monopoly Evil.
New York Independent.
The natural effect of cold storage is
to equalize prices by enabling perishable
foods to be transported anywhere and
kept indefinitely. How long food can be
kept In this way without spoiling is not
known and probably ' we can never find
out. The longest on record Is some
mammoth meat which was packed away
in Siberian ice about the time when the
human race began to stand up and lose
Its hairy hide. This was before there
was any-law requiring meat In cold stor
age to be tagged with its date, so we have
no means of telling how long ago it was,
but if we say 100,000 years no one can
successfully contradict it. At any rate,
when the mammoth thawed out it was
sufficiently well preserved to be eaten by
dogs and Yakuts. Doubtless our palate
would have been more critical than -theirs
but since mankind has long forgotten the
taste of mammoth meat no one could Bay
that its flavor had been impaired.
Cold storage on the whole makes our
food cheaper because it prevents the
enormous waste due to overproduction
at certain seasons of the year. It gives
our markets and means a greater variety,
so that one may get what he wants when
ha wants it. There is no reason why
Iamb and irreen peas should go together
or roast duck and apple sauce, except
that they happen to come together In the
Spring or Fall of the year.
The cold storage system, like the prod
uce exchange, exists for the purpose
of steadying and equalizing prices by re
ducing local and temporal variations, in
short, to prevent the exactions of monop
oly. Doubtless that is still in the long
run their effect. But, unfortunately, both
Institutions have often been perverted to
the opposite and by facilitating monopoly
have exaggerated the fluctuations of
prices. It is not difficult, however, to
break down the monopolistic feature of
the cold storage system. The plant is
not very expensive. Rooms may be
rented by private parties and co-operative
plants erected, perhaps even public re
frigerating establishments run at cost
In extending public control over this im
portant factor of our modern life we
should see that we avoid our common
American fault of Imposing vexatious re
strictions and even Impossible require
ments. PAID DEBTS HE DIDSTT OWE.
Mark Twain's Fine Senae of Honor
When Hla Publisher Failed.
New York Sun.
In the Summer of 1895 the adjust
ment of the affairs of the bankrupt
publishing house of C. L. Webster &
Co. reached a point at which it was
desirable to have the testimony of
that concern's principal backer. That
gentleman was in bad health at the
time, the weather was unusually op
pressive, and the ordeal which he had
to undergo was one from which any
man would shrink. Yet he, though suf
fering acutely every moment and obliged
to use the services of an attend
ant day and night, submitted with the
utmost good temper to examination,
endeavoring in every way to assist in
the disclosure of the exact condition
of the firm.
That gentleman was Samuel L.
Clemens, and those who were aware of
all the circumstances will never forget,
nor will they wish to forget, the man
ner in which he bore the inquisition
and the sincere desire he manifested
in every word and tone and attitud
to do exact justice to the creditors of
the failed company. When the exam
lnation was concluded, this brave and
honest gentleman, still unrestored to
health, set out on a lecture trip around
the world, not to refill his emptied
purse, but to earn money for the pay
ment of the debts of the firm for
which the law explicitly said he was
not responsible, but which his con
science accepted as personal obliga
tions and his fine sense of honor com
pelled him to recognize.
The picture of Walter Scott, 111 ai.d
broken, feverishly writing on and on
to repair his fortunes, is one that is
Imprinted on the mind of every reader.
Beside it belongs the equally pathetic
picture of Samuel L. Clemens, In his
old age cheerfully assuming a task
that many a young man would seek
to escape and gladly sacrificing years
of richly earned repose and comfort
that no man might suffer in pocket
from the perfectly legitimate but
financially unfortunate enterprises of
his business associates.
Motor CuVa Are Using Up Hickory.
New York American.
"Automobile manufacturers will soon
have to look about them for a substi
tute for hickory, for with the produc
tion of automobiles Increasing at It is
the manufacturers of both automobiles
and horse-driven vehicles are becom
ing anxious about' the supply of hick
ory for wheels," said a dealer recently.
"Fully 160,000,000 board feet are used
every year for spokes, rims, axles, ve
hicle body and other parts of the auto
mobile. About 200,000,000 feet are made
into lumber. Hickory comprises only
2 to 5 per cent of the total standing
timber in the hardwood forests cf the
United States. The "total mill value of
the hickory used In the United States
last year was about $12,000,000.
No One but Providence and T. Ft.
Baltimoro Sun.
The pessimist's child, a living proof of
heredity, was weeping bitterly as he sat
upon the curbstone and commingled his
tears with the suds In the gutter.
"What grieves you, my child?" asked
the benevolent gentleman who observed
the young man's grief.
"I Just got to thinking." sobbed the
child, "that something might happen to
Roosevelt, and then there wouldn't be
anybody but Providence to take care of
the -world!"
And the old man passed on, for he knew
there was nothing he could truthfully of
fer to assuage the child s sorrow.
But That'a Why He Worrlra.
Dallas Observer.
A Democratic exchange wonders why
the Republican newspapers are not de
voting as much space to the assembly
plan as they were a few weeks ago. If
the editor will glance over his exchanges
he will note that the central committees
In the various counties are now meeting
and fixing the dates for mass meetings
of voters to name delegates to county
assemblies. The assembly movement has
passed the "talk" stage, and la now a
reality. The Democratic brother need
not worry. The assemblies will be held.
Exclusive Society.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Why don't they organize a reunion of all
the old men who remember seeing Hal-
ley's comet the last time it was here?
Renunciation.
Bostoit Herald.
'Coma, sweetheart, let us sign the pledge
To meatless go our way.
We will not fare on beefsteak rare.
For which we nave to pay.
On mutton chops we will not dine;
We'll not eat of any meat
Unless Invited out.
Come, sweetheart, let us sign the pledge
To shun both pork and veal;
We'll save our cash and cut out hash
snd meat from every meal.
The price of meat is out of reach.
Of that there is no doubt.
And we'll not dine on flesh of kins
Unless Invited out.
Come,, sweetheart, let us sign the pledge
Allu Ulftno 1 ' ' i i ...... i . n nig .
In place of ham, we'll dine on jam.
Ana cneese iniu serve lor Die.
And we will vow to patronize
No wealthy butcher, stout:
We'll cut out steak and live on caks
Lijoiess mvuea out.
LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE
She weighed 221 if she weighed an
ounce, and she did weigh an ounce. The
whole rink shook and rumbled as she
struggled round in her efforts to master
the whirling art. Suddenly a terrific
thud a groan and there, piled up upon
the boarding, lay a heap of overbalanced
femininity. A dozen stalwarts hastened
to her aid. But her avoirdupois was too
much for their heaving. The woman
opened her eyes. "You will have to wait
bjt a moment, madam." politely re
marked a third. "We have Just sent
for the crane. I trust you are not hurt?"
"N-n-no, I don't think so!" she gasped
bravely back. "But, oh, there are some
dreadful lumps on your floor!" "Lumps
be hanged, madam!" growled a half
Bmothered voice from underneath. "I'm
not a lump; I'm one of the attendants."
Kansas City Star.
The young couple were out with their
new. baby when they met the man who
had formerly been the husband's rival.
"So thia is the new baby," said the
former rival enthusiastically. "What a
beautiful child he is; he looks Just like
his mother. He has eyes of blue Just
like hers and his nose Is just the same.
He has her chin and mouth, and did you
ever see such a resemblance as their
ears? What a beautiful child!"
The wife beamed, while the husband
stood by glumly.
"Hey!" he blurted out; "the kid hasn't
grown his teeth yet; do you think I've
got a chance there?" New York Sun.
'
An unfortunate Hibernian gentleman
once became afflicted with the smallpox
and was in the pesthouse. Finally, one
day the physician came to him and said,
"Michael, I don't want to alarm you. but
I must tell you the truth. You are a
very sick man and you had better send
for a priest." Michael answered: "Do
you mean to say I am going to pass up?"
The physician said. "I don't want to say
quite that to you, but I think you really
better have a priest."
Michael said: "Very well, I don't want
a priest. Will you send for a rabbi?''
The physician turned to him and said:
"You don't want a rabbi, you want a
priest."
"No," he said; "I know what is the
matter with me; I want a rabbi."
The physician turned to the nurse and
said, "I am afraid that this gentleman
is getting a little bit off. and I think you
had better telephone for a priest;" where
upon the patient sat up and said: "I
don't want a priest. Do you suppose I
would expose a Catholic priest to a dis
ease like this?" Deseret News.
There were introductions all around.
The big man stared in a puzzled way at
the club guest.
"You look like a man I've seen some
where, Mr. Blinker," he said. "Your face
seems very familiar. I fancy you have
a double. And a funny thing about It Is
that I remember I formed a strong preju
dice against the man who looks like you
although I'm quite sure we never met."
The little guest softly laughed.
"I'm the man," he answered, "and J
know why you formed the prejudice. 1
passed the contribution plate for two
years In the church you attended."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A negro preacher, in a Georgia town,
was edified on one occasion by the re
cital of a dream had by a member ol
his chUrch. "I was a-dreamln' all dis
time," said the narrator, "dat I was in
Ole Satan's dominions. I tell you. Pah
son, dat was shore a bad dream!" "Was
dere any white men dere?" asked th
dusky divine. "Shore dere was plenty of
'em," the other hastened to assure his
minister. "What was dey a-doin'?"
"Ebery one of 'em," was the answer,
"was a-holdln' a cullud person between
him an' de fire!" Harper's Weekly.
The Bible as a Substitute for Brtda-e.
Frances Frear in Leslie's.
When women in the whirl of New
York society come together for a week
day study of the Bible it is of mors
than passing Interest. Mrs. Martin W.
Littleton felt that a more thorough
knowledge of the Bible .would have
steadying influence in the exciting
times whioh just now exist in the fem
inine world, and so, despite the cold
water thrown upon her suggestion,
friends were invited to her home to
hear Dr. C. I. Scofleld, secretary of the
Oxford Revision Society, make clear
Borne points in regard to a better un
derstanding of the Scriptures. Enthu
siastic was the response, and' prepara
tions are now under way for a longer
course of study next Winter. A move
ment of this kind seems to some of ui
to indicate even better than the suf
frage agitation that women are really
interested in trying to solve the prob
lems which are peculiarly theirs o
solve. Respect for women will increase
in proportion as they concern them
selves with serious occupations. Ilka
the study of the Bible or the proper
training of children, thus showing that
all their Interests are not compassed
by bridge whist, the theater and re
ceptions. Spring; Innnisratlon.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Coincident with the wave of American
tourist travel to Europe comes the wave
of European emigrant travel toward
America. If we have any doubts as to
the essential prosperity of the country
after considering the vigorous Spring rush
of American visitors and American dol
lars abroad, we have only to consider the
tremendous foreign influx now under way
at our Atlantic ports. This latter is prob
ably the most trustworthy barometer of
the two.
Cancer May Be Caused by Worry.
London Telegraph.
Cancer Is caused by worry, according
to Anthony Guest, lecturing before the
Psycho-Therapeutical Society. The dis
ease, he said, had been connected with
anxiety a thought force which, instead
of expanding outward, turns inward,
and of which cancer may be the physi
cal manifestation.
Watting Policy.
Life.
"When are you eomine- nut tn annn
Sunday with us?"
"Just as SOOn as VOU Vlfl.v entiAn rt
used to your new house that you don't
leei impelled to snow it to anybody.
For a Lotlng Candidate.
St. Louis Globe Democrat.
In the opinion of gold Democrats, Mr.
Bryan will do for a bad year, but not
for one in which the party claims that
victory is certain.
Reminder to Young; Mr. Garfield.
Washington Herald.
Just as a passing reminder to young
Mr. Garfield, of Ohio: "The Government
at Washington still lives."
Conscientious. '
Town Topics.
I went and took a meatless meal;
Much Indlxnatlon did I feel
Against the sordid-minded trust
Which prices heavenward did thrust.
I always did consider flsh
A most unpalatable dish,
Yet sserlnced my appetite
Unto my sense of what was right.
Nor do I hanker for things green,
Even though they be duly seen
With skill prepared In varied ways.
. And richly daubed with mayonnaise.
A dreary feeling o'er me steals;
1 say I love my meatless meals.
And from such diet shall not a top
But, oh, you steak, and oh- you. chop