10 THE JIOKypfG OHEGOyiAN. SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 1910. FOKTLASU, OREGOJi. Entered at Portland. Oregon. Postof flea sus pacooa-uitH Matter. Subscription Hates Invariably In Advanoe. BY MAIL.) pally. Sunday Included, ona year 8.00 Pally, Sunday included. six months... 4S Daily. Sunday Included, three monthi.. 2.25 Dally. Sunday Included, one month.... .75 ijaiiy. without Sunday, one year..... Dally, without Sunday, tlx months.... S.2S Dally. Without Sunday three months 1.75 Dally, without Sunday, ona month 60 weekly, one year......... 1.B0 Sunday, ona year 3 60 Sutday and weekly, ona year (Br Carrier.) Dally. Sunday Included, one year 8 09 Daily, Bunday Included, one month 75 How to Item) t Send Postofflcs money order, express order or peraonal check on Four local bank. Stamps, coin or currency r at the tender"! risk. Give poatofflce ad nress In full, Including county and state. I' outage Kates 10 to 14 paces. 1 cent; 16 to 28 Prices. 2 oants; SO to 40 pages. 8 cents; 0 to 0 pases, 4 cents. Foreign postage double rate, f Kaatern Business Office The 8. C. Beek with Special Agency New York, rooms 48 50 Tribune building. Chicago, rooms 610-B12 Tribune building. PORTXAJfD, BATUKDAT, APRIL 28, 1910. LASD V'ALIE AND HIGH PRICKS. ' ' Not the least of the causes of high cost of subsistence Is increased price of land in the West. Yet strangely discussion of the threadbare subject of cost of living rarely counts this con . tributlng force of larger prices. : ; Always heretofore the American people have had a chap-land region to the West, whither to go for relief from population pressure and high cost of foodstuffs. Now most of this land that is desirable is owned ahead of settlers who used to buy it from the government at $2.60 or $1.25 an acre$or obtained it free under the do nation land act. Much good land that settfexs would like to get is withheld front- them by so-called conservation oflfiqjtls. In Oregon and Washington, for example, hardly any desirable tracts in the public domain are open to homebullders of the class that would come from the thick swarms of price-oppressed people in the East and the Middle West. Extravagance in personal habits and lack of old-time home economies are ascribed by some publicists as factors In the higher-price level. Others see in the extortions of middlemen the source of the trouble. High tariff and tfttsTs are designated by Democratic stump speakers, as at Rochester, N. Y. Cheapening of gold, -through abun dance of that metal, and expanded use f paper credits, is the favorite ex ; planation of coinage enthusiasts. Sur feit of non-productive labor and un willingness of men to engage in farm tasks are also ascribed as agencies of the unsatisfactory condition. Fast growth of officialdom in the numer ous departments of National and local government Is counted as a contribu tor to the unrest. It is undoubtedly true that farmers could greatly increase their output of food products if they could secure willing, efficient help. Every farmer in Oregon and Washington knows this to be true, and it is true the country over. This is one phase of the prob lem. Yet the change from the old condition of --pen land in the West is striking to one who reflects upon it. It means shifting of economic forces and alterations in social forces of the , Nation. For land that has grown in value from $20 an acre to $200 calls for a higher price level in the grain and fruit and meat that it yields, or on the other side of the equation, the greater demand for supplies, without being accompanied by commensurate supply, raises the value of the source of the supply. Labor, however, is quite as impor tant an agency in production of means of subsistence as is , land, and hereaf- ; ter hands will have to work the land ' harder. OIK UNDESIRABLE CITTZKH'S. The census enumeration is bringing to light a number of undesirable citi zens, and again revealing necessity for I more stringent immigration laws. The density of the ignorance of Carpenter . Sorensen was such that he refused the ; necessary information for the prepos- ; terous reason that he believed the cen sus a "graft." His arrest was followed by that of nine others who gave their names as Stanca Wyodich, Rade Milo vich, Yllja Michunovich, Thimius Louis, Ambross Alliki, Sandros Ko mlos, Leonides Latras, Chinio Borks , and Mike Vulch. There is not much of an American twang to any of these names, and the attitude of the men makes it quite clear that the United States is a gainer by not having them - on the citizenship rolls. The fact that this list strongly resembles that of a Saghalien Island penal colony or a Black Hand brotherhood does not reflect on the respectable, law-abiding and decent members of society who have come here from Russia, Austria and Italy, and have proven valuable additions to our population. As in the Sorensen case, the actions of these men disclose an utter disre gard and contempt for the country which is supplying them with better . homes and greater freedom than their wildest dreams ever, pictured before they inflicted themselves on us. Some excuse for the contemptible ignorance of these men can be found, however, in the attitude of some of our own citl : zens. In The Oregonian yesterday, under a Pittsburg dateline, we were informed that W. D. Haywood, of the Western Federation of Miners, ad- dressed the strikers and "aroused the foreign element to enthusiasm" by stating, among other things, that "thj majority of. exalted Americans are grafters." Haywood, by the failure of the evidence to prove him guilty of a long list -.f murders with which he was charged, is still an American citi zen. Born' and reared in this coun try and having an opportunity to un derstand the superiority of American ' political and economic conditions over those of every other country, Hay wood's deliberate attempt to misrep resent these conditions makes him a far more undesirable citizen than the Milovichs, the Wyodichs and the Sor ensens, who were not born here. Perhaps the strangest feature of this un-American attitude of the aliens, as well as the . native-born Haywoods, Is the tenacity with which they stick to a country which they pretend to believe is such an objec tionable and undesirable place of resi dence. America suits the Americana, but no obstacles have ever been placed in the way of dissatisfied aliens who desire to leave it. As a matter of fact, we always encounter difficulty in forcing some of this foreign element to drift back to the land from which it came. About the only foreign na tions that contribute to .our popu tlon uncomplaining aliens are the Chi nese, Japanese and Hindus. These races seem so well satisfied with the country that they never venture any criticism as to the manner in which it should be conducted. Even these Orientals do not come under the heading of desirable citizens, but they are much more desirable than the Haywoods and the foreign element that enthuses over the Haywood sen timents. There is not the slightest probability, however, that either Hay wood or any of his foreign converts will leave the country, for in no other country does the professional jaw smith and agitator enjoy such a wide range of freedom as in the good old U. S. A. LETT THE CENSUS BE (OMPIJETE. Half of the period allotted by law for enumeration of persons living in cities for the thirteenth census has ex pired. Only seven days remain. A considerable percentage of Port land's population were not at their usual places of abode when enumera tors called on the first round, nor at the second, nor the third. This is es pecially true of occupants of Jodging houses all over the city. It is therefore urged upon these to fill out at once the individual blanks left at their rooms and mail them to the supervisor. Employers are urged to call atten tion of every employe to the necessity of being enumerated. If the name and address of any one who has been missed is furnished to the census of fice, a special enumerator will be dis patched to him. The office in the Lumber Exchange building. Second and Stark, may be communicated with by telephone, Marshall 1422, or Home A 7213. Let no one be missed at this count. THE IVTi IXIJXJ PIOXEEBS. The grim reaper this Spring has taken away a large number of pioneer citizens. The season has not seemed unusually severe on persons of ad vanced age, but the Winter was, per haps. Yet the severity of the chill months nerved many of them. Just as the labors of "crossing the plains" did, to "see It through," and thus they persevered until the fresh-flower time. George H. Williams' life flickered out amid the gentle breaths of April. James A. Waymire, well known in Oregon in the early days, passed be yond a few days ago in California. Jacob Flelschner, pioneer merchant of Portland, has Just been laid to rest. Mrs. Clarinda M. McKnight, of Linn County, last week Joined the' throng beyond at the age of 75 years, after having spent her life in Oregon since 1852. Robert Howe, of 1851, died at Dallas ten days ago at the age of 72. Mrs. Mary Polsgrove Porter, of 1865, answered the final summons a few days ago at Grants Pass, aged 87, Da vid Froman, of 1851, aged 88 years, is mourned at Albany. Wider swaths are appearing in the ranks of the pioneer builders with each passing year. It is the natural course, but none the less saddening on that account. These men and women responded to a call from the West with a spirit that now is faintly understood. Their example teaches one' of life's lessons, that gain of wealth is not so worthy nor memora ble an achievement as the upbuilding of sturdy character and the winning of posterity's heritage. BUSINESS AT TIDEWATER. ' Two mammoth steamships are due at Portland tomorrow, after a long voyage from Antwerp. They are bringing for Portland Jobbers huge stocks of crockery, iron, steel, fire brick, liquors and other great staples for which there is a universal demand from Portland, Or., to Portland. Me. This freight will be discharged on the Portland docks at a freight rate about one-half the amount charged for the rail haul across the American continent. This rate will enable the Portland jobbers to pay the duty and still have enough of an advantage over any port dependent on rail facilities to admit of shipping these staples as far inland as Montana in direct com petition with jobbers who are not lo cated on tidewater. Monday another steamship will ar rive with New York freight that left the Atlantic Coast less than thirty days ago, and will be landed at Port land at a freight rate that it is impos sible for the railroads to meet. These arrivals are, of course, in the regu lar order of business, and naturally show why terminal rates are obtain able only where there are water ter minals to make them. , A TRAGEDY OF THE WHJJS7 A tragedy of the wilds was enacted in the mountains of Southern Oregon a few weeks ago, when James Mc Guire, a miner bowed with years and gnarled by rude toil, shot and killed his only companion In isolation George Knapka, also an old man, with whom he had had differences upon boundary lines or priority of right to a mining claim, or something of that sort. There was a bitter feud between these two lonely old men. The very essence of hatred Is at times distilled by isolation, where it would seem that the spirit of comradeship should pre vail. Several instances have transpired within a year wherein hatred resulting in murder has been brewed between man and wife, resulting disastrously to the lattar, solely by reason of the su perior physical strength of the former. Having nothing else to think about, utterly without the wider interests and' common touch of humanity In gen eral, they tire of each other and be come bitter enemies, where they should be closest friends. A shocking tragedy of this nature was enacted in the -mountains of Washington County a few months ago, the isolation-crazed husband rising from the breakfast table in their lone ly cabin home and hacking his wife to death with a bread knife, because she gave him milk instead of cream in his coffee. In the case now on trial at Grants Pass the self-confessed mur derer went armed to the spring, which the two men used in common, and (according to his story) shot his associate of the wilds to keep the lat ter from shooting him, and afterward rode all night in the bitter cold to the nearest settlement to tell his story and surrender to the authorities. The feud between these men had been brewed In the wilds; its basis was without special significance to either. The fight between them may be likened to that of two animals of the forest contending for the possession of a bone, practically valueless to either, but each determined to secure it. Such a contest under such condi tions fills for the time being the en tire horizon of the contestants and becomes, whether the animals are brute or human, a veritable matter of life and death. It is exceedingly difficult to secure Jurors to try a man who kills his fel low, prompted thereto by the distilled hatred of Isolation, and then in serene self-Justification hies him away to tell about the crime which he could easily have concealed. The circumstance represents a phase of human nature which it is hard to understand and upon which intelligent men instinct ively feel themselves incompetent to pass judgment, when a life hangs upon their verdict. PARTISAN STUFF FROM IDAHO. A friend at Boise, Idaho, sends to The Oregonian a copy of the Capital News, a Democratic newspaper, which has much fault to find with The Ore gonian's views on the proposal of the Democrats, Populists and near-Republicans of Washington to support and nominate Poindexter for Senator at the approaching Republican primary, "If," declares the Democratic News, "the people of Washington elect a majority of the Legislature commit ted or pledged to the election of Poln dexter, what right has The Oregonian or any other paper, or any person on tarth, to question their right to have Poindexter?" Now mark that "if.' If the majority of the next Washing ton Legislature is definitely committed or pledged to Poindexter or any other for Senator, there is nothing more to be said. Nor has The Oregonian said anything in advocacy of violation of pledges duly made. It is not very important, but it may n wen enough to say that the Boise newspaper makes an utterly false rep resentation of The Oregonian's state ments and position. Nothing better couia De expected from such a source The Oregonian has sought to call at tention tc a situation in Washington to ,vhlch every Republican and every otner citizen ought to be alive, and that is the probability that Poindexter will be Dominated for Senator by Dem ocratic, Populist and Insurgent votes. If he shall be thus nominated, the Re publican party will be corrupted, de bauched and defrauded, and the will of the party will be utterly subverted end defeated at its own primary. If any candidate for the Legislature takes a pledge in advance to vote for the Republican party's choice," he will probably be obliged to vote for Poindexter. If that's the sort of thing he i.ants, he wants that sort of thing. But the Republican party doesn t want it. The Democrats and Populists do. That is the reason they are willing to go to the extreme of perjury by voting at a Republican primary. Has the News no word of protest against this particular variety or outrage? Of course not, for it is chiefly Interested in wrecking the Republican party. MARK TWAIN. . It is a singular Instance of the irony of fate that Mark Twain, the man who most of all in his generation has lightened the burden of human cares and eased the lot of man in this weary worjd, should have died of angina pectoris, a disease among the most painful of those to which flesh is subject. A creator of Joy through out his literary career,. he himself has known plenteous sorrow and tasted the bitter cup of adversity. Like Sir Walter Scott, ho was involved by the indiscretions of his publisher in fi nancial disasters which the law would have permitted him to elude, but which his stern sense of honor com pelled him to assume. "Verging toward old age and, as he may have thought, secure in the possession of ample fortune, this calamity led him to renew his literary labors with more than the energy of youth and before" his death he had the consolation of knowing that he owed no person a penny, even constructively. Of his four children three perished before their time. If, therefore, we perceive . in Mark Twain's humor a tinge of Autum nal bitterness, a sense of the tragic in human affairs oftentimes predominat ing over the mirthsome, there is pro found reason for it in the experiences .of his life. The wonder is that, inas much as he had known sorrow so in timately and the keen edge of ad versity so well, his thought should have remained consistently sane and his wit kindly, if sometimes shrewd. For it is characteristic of Mark Twain's philosophy of life that it was optimistic. Bitterly as he could re proach the shortcomings of persons and institutions, he never despaired of the good time when all shall be well with the children of men in their earthly home. In telling of the cruel ties at King Arthur's court, he proph esied the days when wise love shall reign among men. The life of Joan of Arc was not to him the hopeless tragedy which it seems to many to have been. The fire in which the lovely maiden perished, with the heartless fanatics who had condemned her looking on pitilessly, lighted other fires in his triumphant vision which shall never be extinguished until they have consumed the last remnant of superstition from the -face of the earth. If there was one thing that Mark Twain hated more than another it was a lie. It is of the very essence of humor to see the falsehood under lying pretentious institutions and pompous dogmas as well as to see the truth in the humble ways of men and the beauty of lowly deeds, and Mark Twain was in the deep sense of the word a humorist. He surpassed any other of our countrymen in that' prim itive art of exaggeration which is sometimes supposed to be the whole of American humor, but he had also the higher gift of putting truth in new and unexpected lights, and of exposing falsehood by striking com parisons, which ranks those who pos sess it with the great geniuses of the world. Such is the humor of Shakes peare and Montaigne. Mark Twain in his best moments stands with these masters almost as their peer. If tenderness is the criterion by which humor is to be judged, then there never was a truer master of it than he was. Bitingly as he sometimes writes, it is never to defend injustice. Thoroughly as he can hate, he never hates anything but cruelty and false hood. His satire is always directed against institutions and beliefs which ought to perish. His books may be searched from the first page to the last, but not a sentencs will be found in any of them which condones In justice or apologizes for wrong. Twain's humor differs from Charles Lamb's as a clear September morning differs from a day in June. Lamb is seldom satirical unless we agree to call pure fun satire. The little Jokes which he pokes at lis Aunt Betsy Bobbett in the "Essay on Whist" come as near to unkindness as he ever ap proached, and that was very far away Indeed. Mark Twain could be unkind, but It was always in the cause of jus tice. Some of his sentences pass out of the gentle realm of humor alto gether and become wit of the keenest sort. His fun is seldom without an edge, which is the sai e thing as say ing that it always has a purpose. If his arrows are sharply pointed, they are invariably aimed at creatures which deserve to perish. If he sees the weaknesses of men more clearly than the circumstances which excuse them, we must admit that his vision perceives only those weaknesses which are allied to crimes. It will be forever remembered of Mark Twain tr his glory how he hated deception, how he scorned imposture, how he fought with cruelty. In all hlj books, and they are many, not one sentence can be found which apolo gizes for injustice. He often sneered, but always at some hypocrisy or baseness. His kindliness is frosty, but It Is genuine. His intelligence is too alert to be deceived by any of the disguises of hyp-crisy, but when he has unmasked a wrong he is ready to pity the sinner. Very likely "Tom Saw yer" will be ranked as Mark Twain's best book. Future generations will no doubt call it a great work of genius. It is of epic scope and it possesses a firmness of structure and a breadth of conception which will probably take hold on Immortality. The humor of it is true as steel and invariably, sane. The knowledge of human nature in Shakespearean. The conduct of the plot is masterly. The dialect is a linguistic creation. It Is the epic of the pioneer West, an ample work, with wide horizons, profound psychology and moving incident, as pathetic as the fate of man, as wise as the Bible. Nobody could have written it but one who had seen all sides of life and suffered all the vicis situdes of the common lot. The book lives in eternal power and glows with the beauty of everlasting truth, it is not enough to have read it once. We return to it year after year as we. do to "Cymbeline" and "David Copper field." It lives. It throbs. It is life in deep similitude and all veracity. The criticism of the world has al ready placed Mark Twain among the immortals. There are voices which would seat him very high among them. It is conceivable that in a thousand years from now he will be the best remembered writer of his century In the United States, perhaps the only. one whose fame will not have yielded to the persistent attacks of time. There Is a scarcity of sailors along the waterfront. Now would be an ex cellent time for the theoretical re formers who believe that the sailor boarding-house man can be dispensed with to rustle a few sailors to man the numerous ships that will otherwise be ready for sea within the next few days. At every session of the Legislature some of these well-meaning but im practical men go up to Salem with bills intended to disturb the present arrangement by which sailor abuses In the port have practically ceased. Nat urally in the Winter, when the Legis lature is In session, there are more Idle men than In the Summer, and there Is a possibility that at least a part of a crew could be picked up by the ship master, or some of the foreign Consuls, without any expense to the ship. In the Summer time, however, it is al ways a difficult matter to secure sail ors, and the outlook Is now favorable for some of' the ships to be detained after they are loaded. All political parties and all branches and factions of political parties are represented in the Seattle Bar Associ ation, which has just passed, with one dissenting vote, a resolution condemn ing the action of an Eastern magazine in referring to Mr. Balllnger as a "shyster." The resolution reviews at length the court reqords In the cases mentioned by the muckrakers and de clares that the charges made are with out foundation. These facts, in pos session of the Seattle Bar Association, will in time fall into the hands of the character assassins who have been hounding Balllnger for months, and may then be acknowledged; but the slanders set afloat for the purpose of making a sensation are almost certain to remain uncontradicted in some places and the innocence of the victim will not earn for him the full meas ure of Justice that is due him for the unwarranted attack. New Orleans has organized . the World's Panama Exposition Company for the purpose of holding a fair in honor of the opening of the Panama Canal. This fair as a National project will, of course. Interfere with the suc cess of the Pacific Coast fair, which will be held in San Francisco. Di vision of energies will not bring the best results even in a world's "fair, and an effort should be made to keep the big show confined to one locality. : All testimony agrees that Mark Twain of the West In his younger years was quite a different man from Samuel Clemens of the East, after age and ex perience had mellowed his character and family ties had developed the finer fiber of his nature. It Is the later man with whom memory .will deal in eulogistic strain today; the later Mark Twain, who will be fol lowed to the grave tomorrow with ten der regret. Amrtrtor iha elioan anloa Arwt from Wheeler County this week are 3ouu neaa or mixed yearlings at $3.50 Aarh. whilA old auras bi-rmcVii- 9 En each. The sheep industry, even with a snorcening supply or rree range, can hardly prove very unprofitable at these figures. No matter what the Interstate Com mission does with the Pullman cars, we suppose the lower berth man will always regard the upper berth man as an Intruder. Every woman Is counted in the cen sus, no matter whether she everpasses the age of 40, so that little fibs don't make any difference. Another bunch of alleged liars has got back from Mount McKinley, but the North -Pole has not been heard from recently. The Seattle papers say that the cen sus will doubtless show 300,000 people there. Pretty good for a city with 200,000 people. Senator Aldrieh desire.e. tn retire rt his own volition. The Senator Vine al ways been a shrewd politician. There is yet grave doubt about that comet, because no milkman has been known to see It. BEWARE "PEOPLE'S CHOICE" TRAP WW Republican In Washington Be Snared aa In OrrgonT Centralla New Examinee Are the Republicans of Washington going to drift, with their eyes open, into the same political absurdities that the people of Oregon walked into with their eyes shut? It was a nice-sounding statement No. 1 that caused the Re publicans of Oregon calmly to accept a Democrat to represent them in the United States Seriate. The people of Washington have an equivalent to Statement No. 1, and if the candidates for the State Legislature accept that statement and promise to vote for the so-called people's choice for United States Senator, either Poindexter or some other Democrat will surely be elected, and he will not be the people's choice either. The direct primary law, Instead of guaranteeing the Republicans their choice of a candidate for any public office, and the Democrats their choice. foists upon the people as a whole a candidate that Is apt to be disappoint lng to both parties, and one that is particularly distasteful to the majority or dominant party. For instance, at the direct primary election this Fall the Democrats will vote for Poindexter; be cause, first, he 'is in sympathy with the Democratic political doctrines, and is really, if not nominally, a Democrat; and, second, should a good sound Demo crat be nominated on the regular Demo cratic ticket he would have little trou ble in defeating Poindexter, whereas he would have no chance should a good. sound Republican be pitted against him, It will be useless for the Republicans of Washington, after election, ,to say they did not realize the state of affairs that existed. They know Just what awaits them, should they walk into the trap set for them, for they have the object lesson of Oregon before them. Any legislator who goes to Olympia next Fall pledged to vote for an un known niHHntfl fnr- TTnttA4 Qtataa San ator, .for pledges. It? given at all, will be given before the primary election. will violate his oath of office; an oath that obligates him to act in conformity with the state constitution; and the state constitution provides for the election of a United States Senator by the State Legislature as a whole, and not by Individual members hampered with ante-election pledges. MARY MACLAJiE HATES NEW YORK Says It. Parins Stonea Have Earmarks of Hell. Mary MacLane in Butte Evening News. . I know New York as I know Butte. Montana, for exactly what it is. I have no roseate illusion about it. It has lodged me not as a transient bird of passage, but as one of the four million who call it home. I well know that it is no place to go to gather lilies. Its paving stones are the paving stones of hell. But on them walk people who are more wonderful than lilies. And the lesson it teaches is the adamant truth Itself. It's the subtle freemasonry among the millions, the silent recognition ana understanding of each other's hu manness and the half suggestion of intl macy that one feels toward all or any of the persons one meets and passes on Broadway it's that that's all ' the charm and enchantment of it. And, too, it's that together with the glitter of the white way, that is the most alluring and treacnerous and annihilating of all the attributes of the vampire. In truth, it is that quality that is the vampire. For its intimacy with human beings and all that it betokens the ex changing of bits of one's personality for bits of another's, the idiosyncracles of friendship, the nerve-racking experience of being in love, the hypnotic effects of one personality upon another, the utter throwing to the winds of all one's re serves of body and soul before the com pelling magnetisms of some and the lesser Intoxication of knowing one's own domination of others it is all these things that devour flesh and blood and nerve. They eat their way from the outer wall that guards the crude human being to the inmost keep of the citadel One's loves and friendships have effects on one's slim young body and one's way ward mind that are more malignant than cocaine and more subtle than absinthe. But it's all so exquisitely and poetically and seductively worth while. What a picture of youth it is in the Martin at 4 in the afternoon! a picture of tired, tired youth, women like crushed lilies or half-wllted Jonquils. They are all In the clutch of the vampire. The mark of the vampire is on their delicately rouged and faintly-drooping lips, in the glint of their all-knowing eyes, upon their insolent brows and in the move ments of their slender hands. Their hearts and bodies are weary from the ceaseless glitter of the world and from their endless pursuit of pleasure a pleasure like an ignis fatuus that is al ways a little way beyond, .that never, never waits. I have myself seen it around corners, behind doors, at the top of flights of stairs always beyond, never in my hands or by my side. I have sat, times, in the Martin, with some delectable companion, twirling the stem of my absinthe glass with my thumb and finger and with my chin on my hand, and looked about at the gay-hearted com pany and wondered If they knew they had never caught up with the ignis fatuus pleasure, and never would and if they did that the flavor of the grape would become wormwood on their lips, and the daylight shadowed, and the musio stilled. Pointed Paraarrapba, Chicago News. The man who isn't capable of giving advice always has the habit. A farmer's wife says that boys are almost as hard to raise as turkeys. A woman will take a man's word for anything she is unable to disprove. A man can get his understanding polished for a nickel, but not his in tellect. When we see some women on parade we wonder how they get themselves unharnessed at night. One little moth that gets away wor ries a woman more than all her early love affairs put together. Call of the wild. Buffalo Commercial. Just as soon as the Colonel lands in New York, a Macedonian cry will reach him from Indiana and he will be asked to go out there to help Senator Beveridge in his canvass for re-election. This will be something of a poser, in view of the anti-Administration sentiment in that state. Spring- Suggestion. Kansas City Post. Don't say anything you may wish you had left unsaid, and In early Spring don't take off anything you may have to put back on again. Better Pay New York Sun. Stella The census man gets only three cents a name. Bella Well, I'll get fifty thousand for taking Jack's. Too Busy. Chicago Record-Herald. Most of the successful men in this coun try are so busy making money that they have absolutely no time to make good cit izens of the1- sons.' I COLD-STORAGE FOOD CHEAPER! That Would Be Its Effect on Prices but for Monopoly Evil. New York Independent. The natural effect of cold storage is to equalize prices by enabling perishable foods to be transported anywhere and kept indefinitely. How long food can be kept In this way without spoiling is not known and probably ' we can never find out. The longest on record Is some mammoth meat which was packed away in Siberian ice about the time when the human race began to stand up and lose Its hairy hide. This was before there was any-law requiring meat In cold stor age to be tagged with its date, so we have no means of telling how long ago it was, but if we say 100,000 years no one can successfully contradict it. At any rate, when the mammoth thawed out it was sufficiently well preserved to be eaten by dogs and Yakuts. Doubtless our palate would have been more critical than -theirs but since mankind has long forgotten the taste of mammoth meat no one could Bay that its flavor had been impaired. Cold storage on the whole makes our food cheaper because it prevents the enormous waste due to overproduction at certain seasons of the year. It gives our markets and means a greater variety, so that one may get what he wants when ha wants it. There is no reason why Iamb and irreen peas should go together or roast duck and apple sauce, except that they happen to come together In the Spring or Fall of the year. The cold storage system, like the prod uce exchange, exists for the purpose of steadying and equalizing prices by re ducing local and temporal variations, in short, to prevent the exactions of monop oly. Doubtless that is still in the long run their effect. But, unfortunately, both Institutions have often been perverted to the opposite and by facilitating monopoly have exaggerated the fluctuations of prices. It is not difficult, however, to break down the monopolistic feature of the cold storage system. The plant is not very expensive. Rooms may be rented by private parties and co-operative plants erected, perhaps even public re frigerating establishments run at cost In extending public control over this im portant factor of our modern life we should see that we avoid our common American fault of Imposing vexatious re strictions and even Impossible require ments. PAID DEBTS HE DIDSTT OWE. Mark Twain's Fine Senae of Honor When Hla Publisher Failed. New York Sun. In the Summer of 1895 the adjust ment of the affairs of the bankrupt publishing house of C. L. Webster & Co. reached a point at which it was desirable to have the testimony of that concern's principal backer. That gentleman was in bad health at the time, the weather was unusually op pressive, and the ordeal which he had to undergo was one from which any man would shrink. Yet he, though suf fering acutely every moment and obliged to use the services of an attend ant day and night, submitted with the utmost good temper to examination, endeavoring in every way to assist in the disclosure of the exact condition of the firm. That gentleman was Samuel L. Clemens, and those who were aware of all the circumstances will never forget, nor will they wish to forget, the man ner in which he bore the inquisition and the sincere desire he manifested in every word and tone and attitud to do exact justice to the creditors of the failed company. When the exam lnation was concluded, this brave and honest gentleman, still unrestored to health, set out on a lecture trip around the world, not to refill his emptied purse, but to earn money for the pay ment of the debts of the firm for which the law explicitly said he was not responsible, but which his con science accepted as personal obliga tions and his fine sense of honor com pelled him to recognize. The picture of Walter Scott, 111 ai.d broken, feverishly writing on and on to repair his fortunes, is one that is Imprinted on the mind of every reader. Beside it belongs the equally pathetic picture of Samuel L. Clemens, In his old age cheerfully assuming a task that many a young man would seek to escape and gladly sacrificing years of richly earned repose and comfort that no man might suffer in pocket from the perfectly legitimate but financially unfortunate enterprises of his business associates. Motor CuVa Are Using Up Hickory. New York American. "Automobile manufacturers will soon have to look about them for a substi tute for hickory, for with the produc tion of automobiles Increasing at It is the manufacturers of both automobiles and horse-driven vehicles are becom ing anxious about' the supply of hick ory for wheels," said a dealer recently. "Fully 160,000,000 board feet are used every year for spokes, rims, axles, ve hicle body and other parts of the auto mobile. About 200,000,000 feet are made into lumber. Hickory comprises only 2 to 5 per cent of the total standing timber in the hardwood forests cf the United States. The "total mill value of the hickory used In the United States last year was about $12,000,000. No One but Providence and T. Ft. Baltimoro Sun. The pessimist's child, a living proof of heredity, was weeping bitterly as he sat upon the curbstone and commingled his tears with the suds In the gutter. "What grieves you, my child?" asked the benevolent gentleman who observed the young man's grief. "I Just got to thinking." sobbed the child, "that something might happen to Roosevelt, and then there wouldn't be anybody but Providence to take care of the -world!" And the old man passed on, for he knew there was nothing he could truthfully of fer to assuage the child s sorrow. But That'a Why He Worrlra. Dallas Observer. A Democratic exchange wonders why the Republican newspapers are not de voting as much space to the assembly plan as they were a few weeks ago. If the editor will glance over his exchanges he will note that the central committees In the various counties are now meeting and fixing the dates for mass meetings of voters to name delegates to county assemblies. The assembly movement has passed the "talk" stage, and la now a reality. The Democratic brother need not worry. The assemblies will be held. Exclusive Society. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Why don't they organize a reunion of all the old men who remember seeing Hal- ley's comet the last time it was here? Renunciation. Bostoit Herald. 'Coma, sweetheart, let us sign the pledge To meatless go our way. We will not fare on beefsteak rare. For which we nave to pay. On mutton chops we will not dine; We'll not eat of any meat Unless Invited out. Come, sweetheart, let us sign the pledge To shun both pork and veal; We'll save our cash and cut out hash snd meat from every meal. The price of meat is out of reach. Of that there is no doubt. And we'll not dine on flesh of kins Unless Invited out. Come,, sweetheart, let us sign the pledge Allu Ulftno 1 ' ' i i ...... i . n nig . In place of ham, we'll dine on jam. Ana cneese iniu serve lor Die. And we will vow to patronize No wealthy butcher, stout: We'll cut out steak and live on caks Lijoiess mvuea out. LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE She weighed 221 if she weighed an ounce, and she did weigh an ounce. The whole rink shook and rumbled as she struggled round in her efforts to master the whirling art. Suddenly a terrific thud a groan and there, piled up upon the boarding, lay a heap of overbalanced femininity. A dozen stalwarts hastened to her aid. But her avoirdupois was too much for their heaving. The woman opened her eyes. "You will have to wait bjt a moment, madam." politely re marked a third. "We have Just sent for the crane. I trust you are not hurt?" "N-n-no, I don't think so!" she gasped bravely back. "But, oh, there are some dreadful lumps on your floor!" "Lumps be hanged, madam!" growled a half Bmothered voice from underneath. "I'm not a lump; I'm one of the attendants." Kansas City Star. The young couple were out with their new. baby when they met the man who had formerly been the husband's rival. "So thia is the new baby," said the former rival enthusiastically. "What a beautiful child he is; he looks Just like his mother. He has eyes of blue Just like hers and his nose Is just the same. He has her chin and mouth, and did you ever see such a resemblance as their ears? What a beautiful child!" The wife beamed, while the husband stood by glumly. "Hey!" he blurted out; "the kid hasn't grown his teeth yet; do you think I've got a chance there?" New York Sun. ' An unfortunate Hibernian gentleman once became afflicted with the smallpox and was in the pesthouse. Finally, one day the physician came to him and said, "Michael, I don't want to alarm you. but I must tell you the truth. You are a very sick man and you had better send for a priest." Michael answered: "Do you mean to say I am going to pass up?" The physician said. "I don't want to say quite that to you, but I think you really better have a priest." Michael said: "Very well, I don't want a priest. Will you send for a rabbi?'' The physician turned to him and said: "You don't want a rabbi, you want a priest." "No," he said; "I know what is the matter with me; I want a rabbi." The physician turned to the nurse and said, "I am afraid that this gentleman is getting a little bit off. and I think you had better telephone for a priest;" where upon the patient sat up and said: "I don't want a priest. Do you suppose I would expose a Catholic priest to a dis ease like this?" Deseret News. There were introductions all around. The big man stared in a puzzled way at the club guest. "You look like a man I've seen some where, Mr. Blinker," he said. "Your face seems very familiar. I fancy you have a double. And a funny thing about It Is that I remember I formed a strong preju dice against the man who looks like you although I'm quite sure we never met." The little guest softly laughed. "I'm the man," he answered, "and J know why you formed the prejudice. 1 passed the contribution plate for two years In the church you attended." Cleveland Plain Dealer. A negro preacher, in a Georgia town, was edified on one occasion by the re cital of a dream had by a member ol his chUrch. "I was a-dreamln' all dis time," said the narrator, "dat I was in Ole Satan's dominions. I tell you. Pah son, dat was shore a bad dream!" "Was dere any white men dere?" asked th dusky divine. "Shore dere was plenty of 'em," the other hastened to assure his minister. "What was dey a-doin'?" "Ebery one of 'em," was the answer, "was a-holdln' a cullud person between him an' de fire!" Harper's Weekly. The Bible as a Substitute for Brtda-e. Frances Frear in Leslie's. When women in the whirl of New York society come together for a week day study of the Bible it is of mors than passing Interest. Mrs. Martin W. Littleton felt that a more thorough knowledge of the Bible .would have steadying influence in the exciting times whioh just now exist in the fem inine world, and so, despite the cold water thrown upon her suggestion, friends were invited to her home to hear Dr. C. I. Scofleld, secretary of the Oxford Revision Society, make clear Borne points in regard to a better un derstanding of the Scriptures. Enthu siastic was the response, and' prepara tions are now under way for a longer course of study next Winter. A move ment of this kind seems to some of ui to indicate even better than the suf frage agitation that women are really interested in trying to solve the prob lems which are peculiarly theirs o solve. Respect for women will increase in proportion as they concern them selves with serious occupations. Ilka the study of the Bible or the proper training of children, thus showing that all their Interests are not compassed by bridge whist, the theater and re ceptions. Spring; Innnisratlon. Chicago Record-Herald. Coincident with the wave of American tourist travel to Europe comes the wave of European emigrant travel toward America. If we have any doubts as to the essential prosperity of the country after considering the vigorous Spring rush of American visitors and American dol lars abroad, we have only to consider the tremendous foreign influx now under way at our Atlantic ports. This latter is prob ably the most trustworthy barometer of the two. Cancer May Be Caused by Worry. London Telegraph. Cancer Is caused by worry, according to Anthony Guest, lecturing before the Psycho-Therapeutical Society. The dis ease, he said, had been connected with anxiety a thought force which, instead of expanding outward, turns inward, and of which cancer may be the physi cal manifestation. Watting Policy. Life. "When are you eomine- nut tn annn Sunday with us?" "Just as SOOn as VOU Vlfl.v entiAn rt used to your new house that you don't leei impelled to snow it to anybody. For a Lotlng Candidate. St. Louis Globe Democrat. In the opinion of gold Democrats, Mr. Bryan will do for a bad year, but not for one in which the party claims that victory is certain. Reminder to Young; Mr. Garfield. Washington Herald. Just as a passing reminder to young Mr. Garfield, of Ohio: "The Government at Washington still lives." Conscientious. ' Town Topics. I went and took a meatless meal; Much Indlxnatlon did I feel Against the sordid-minded trust Which prices heavenward did thrust. I always did consider flsh A most unpalatable dish, Yet sserlnced my appetite Unto my sense of what was right. Nor do I hanker for things green, Even though they be duly seen With skill prepared In varied ways. . And richly daubed with mayonnaise. A dreary feeling o'er me steals; 1 say I love my meatless meals. And from such diet shall not a top But, oh, you steak, and oh- you. chop