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PORTLAND, FRIDAY, OCT. 12, 1900.
PROSPERITY-.
That the present apparent prosper
ity of the United States is real and not
an illusive fiction nobody ever dreams
of disputing. Still every now and then
some writer thinks it worth while to
demonstrate to us that the golden
stream Is not a deceptive vision and
we all enjoy his facts and figures. We
are something' like misers who like to
count their gold over and over to ex
perience the feel of It. Many politi
cians find the National prosperity suf
ficient subject - matter for their
speeches. They arc excused from all
argument and all reference to princi
ples If only they will rehearse the
sumptuous catalogue of our exports
and imports and detail the contents of
the full dinner pail. Mr. Cannon, for
example, who has no political theories
except standing pat, is making, a bril
liant campaign on the balance of trade
rand the price of corn.
The latest prose poem on our Na
tional prosperity appears In Moody's
Magazine and was written by Carl
Snyder. Ho calls his theme "amaz
ing," and amazing the facts and lig
. ures which he details certainly are.
The entire buoinese of the country last
year footed up 150, 00() millions of dol
lars. Think of it; that is, if it is possi
ble to think of a number so near to in
finity. It means that, estimating the
profit on each transaction at the very
moderate average of 5 per cent, the
wealth of the country was increased
$10 per capita by exchanges alone.
Every man, woman and child in the
United States is $10 richer than he vrae
a year ago through the nitre operation
of commercial exchanges; or he would
be If the profits had been equally distributed.-
This sort of wealth may
eem rather elusive to some persons,
but It is not more so than the wealth
accumulated In banks in the form of
deposits.
The- entire amount of money in this
country tes about $2,500,000,000. The de
Posits in the banks foot up some $12,
600,000,000. To make up this sum every
dollar In the country must have been
deposited by five different persons, or
at least five different times, and cred
ited over again every time. Suppose
all the depositors should atk for their
money on the same day. 'What would
happen to the banks? What would
happen to the depositors is a minor
matter which enthusiastic political
economists do not think It worth while
to ponder over. Really, though is it
not a little startling to reflect that of
all thoee twelve billion five hundred
million dollars which we think we have
In the banks some ten billions are a
pure fiction? That they are mere
Christian Science wealth, a dream, a
convention, a belief? And suppose
some fine morning we should waken to
find the belief departing? That is
what happens in times of panic. The
dream of wealth vanishes like the
boy's In the story when he kicked over
his basket of glassware.
Credit wealth 1 a vast bubble ex
ceedingly Iridescent and beautiful to
behold while the sun of prosperity
shines; but it has an ugly trick of dis
appearing when clouds arise. What
makes the sun of prosperity shine?
.Mr. Snyder, like Mr. Cannon, gives1
many brilliant proofs that it does shine
and with rare eplendor, but as to this
they are only telling us. as the teacher
did the schoolboy, "what we knowed
hefore." What makes the beneficent
orb to shine? Mr. Hryan thinks it is
the enormous Increase In the supply of
gold. More gold makes high prices.
High prices make prosperity; and there
youfare with an explanation as com
plete as It la falee. High prices may
Indicate misery as well as prosperity.
"When Pharaoh had gathered up all the
grain In Egypt and proceeded to sell It
out to the starving population at mo
nopoly rates, high prices meant any
thing but prosperity. One may admit
that rising prices usually accompany
prosperity and probably react to en
hance it, but they are not lis cause.
Another etgn of good times is a fa
vorable balance of trade. This Is one
of those Ignes fatul which theorists like
to run after through the morasses of
logic. It has not been so much on our
eide as it was four or five years ago,
but It Is still enormous and politicians
of the 6tandpat school love to roll It
off their tongues. It seems to them to
prove that we sell more goods abroad
than we buy. It means so much gained
for which nothing was given. It not
only fills our pockets, but it also gratl
lies our vanity, since It proves that we
are a great deal smarter than the for
eigners. This is the standpat view of
the balance of trade, but it does not
survive analysis. As a matter offact,
we have to buy from the foreigners as
much as we sell to them or they could
not trade with us. We figure out a fa
vorable balance by estimating our ex
ports at high-tariff tru?t prices, the
prices we have to pay at home, and by
estimating the imports at European
prices. When our exports get to Eu
rope they hae to be sold at European
prices or they could not be sold at all.
These prices are far below- the home
figure in almost every case. Our ex
ports last year exceeded $1,100,000,000
at trust figures; but all the goods had
to be sold in competition with the pau
per labor of Europe and other parts of
the world. Computed at the selling
rates, its value, therefore, would not
be nearly so much. Still, one must be
lieve that all this vast quantity was
sold in Europe, Asia and Africa at a
profit. If goods can be sold in those
regions at pauper prices after paying
transportation and still make a profit,
why can they no; be sold at some
thing near the eame prices at home?
The more goods we sell abroad the
heavier the contribution of the Amer
ican consumer to support the poor of
foreign lands. This is beautiful mis
sionary work, but is it good business?
WHO t;OT THE CHEAP STATE LANDS?
The sale of several sections of state
school land a few days ago at prices
ranging from $3 to $16 an acne will af
ford one more occasion for criticism of
the policy of the State of Oregon in
selling its lands in years past at prices
much lower. Practically all the state
school land disposed of to date was
sold at $1.25 an acre. It will be assert
ed, and perhaps truthfully, that if the
state had not been so hasty In selling
ite lands it could have realized the
price which land Is now bringing, or
even more. Hence the conclusion that
the state has pursued a foolish and
wasteful policy to the loss of the irre
ducible school fund.
But there are two sides to the ques
tion. That the state can now secure
$18 an acre for timber lands which
have come upon the market by reason
of recent surveys is cause for gratifica
tion. There would be room for censure
If the land were sold for less, under the
circumstances, and due credit should
be given to the State Land Board for
adopting the plan of selling newly sur
veyed lands to the highest bidder. Yet
it is to be doubted whether it would
have been wise for the state to hold
all its, lands until they appreciated in
value and found sale at high prices.
Oregon has long been Inviting settlers
within her borders. This state has
asked people to come here and buy
homes. How, then, could the state
have consistently refused to sell its
own lands? The people of an enterpris
ing community are severe in their con
demnation of men who hold unim
proved real estate year after year,
hoping eventually to realize a profit
from the increased value due to the
Improvements others have made. In
what an Inconsistent position the state
would be placed if It assumed 'the at
titude of the waiting Investor and per
mitted no improvements to be made
upon its property. What a farce it
would be if the state asked private
holders to divide and sell their prop
erty to newcomers, yet refueled to do
the same with lis own.
Manifestly, such a course could not
be taken. Quite likely a larger sum
could have been realized if the estab
lished price had been raised a number
of years ago, but sales would have
been much lower. At $1.25 an acre the
land has been sold as fast as a grow
ing population seemed to require;
therefore, leaving the reasonable Infer
ence that the land brought practically
all It was worth at the time sold. But
the state lands, with few exceptions,
did not go to make homes for settlers,
and herein lies the ground for coin-
plaint. The land was sold to speculat
ors who committed perjury to get it.
Had the law been wisely drawn, it
would have limited sales to actual set
tlers, thereby encouraging the devel
opment of the state's Industries and
extending the populated area. The
state could well have afforded to sell
its lands at a low price If every quar
ter or half-section became the home of
a family. It could do without the
pioney if It secured the settlers, but
under the policy that prevailed the
state obtained little money and few
settlers. Tho Hydes and Bensons, and
men of the Puter. McKlnley, Mays and
Tarpley type, gathered whatever profit
there was from placing the land upon
the market. Tho state could not have
held its lands from sale entirely; it
could, but did not. make its terms of
sale such as would best promote the
public interest.
SOV'TH AMERICA.
Mr. John Barrett has a timely arti
cle in the current number of the North
American Review on our relations with
South America. There can be no doubt
whatever that the intelligent popula
tions of the South American countries
have been watching our proceedings in
Cuba with suspicious and anxious eye.
Our reputation among them, despite
the visit of Mr. Root and many other
advances of the same sort, is not of
the best. They believe us quite capa
ble of gobbling up Cuba in spile of our
protestations, nor do they think we
would stickle much over any other
small nations or tribes whlch.it might
become convenient for us to devour.
As Mr. Barrett says, the relations be
tween North and South America are
surprisingly cool, verging toward hos
tility. The Latins of our Southern
continent turn their affections and
their trade much more toward Europe
than toward the United States. One
reason for this state of things is the
mutual ignorance which prevails. We
in this country know little of the South.
Americans and they know less of us.
The story is related, for example, that
when Governor Lord was appointed
Minister to the Argentine Republic a
Portland citizen of wide information
and great distinction lamented that
Mr. Lord must reside in a small and
obscure city like Buenos Ayres. The
capital of Argentina had at that time
a population exceeding 700.000, and
was one of the most beautiful, highly
civilized and best-governed municipal
ities in the world. Now it has more
than a million people.
Portlanders relate with glee that
when the first National Presbyterian
Assembly was held here lnauirv was
made from the East whether a piano
should be shipped out for the occasion
the supposition being that in this petty
frontier post no musical instruments
were to be found. Our common knowl
edge of affairs in South America Is ex
actly of thi3 ridiculous stamp. We
talk of nothing but their internal trou
bles. Really they are, on the whole,
as peaceful as ourselves and are far
, less distracted with mobs. As Mr.
Barrett well says, a lively Southern
hanging or burning bee is quite as
serious an affair as the usual South
American "revolution."
Our Latin neighbors are highly cul
tivated, progressive and shrewd in
their commercial dealings. We have
always made the mistake of underes
timating their achievements In civili
zation and have thereby forfeited their
friendship and their trade. In some
respects they are our superiors. We,
for example, cannot approach them in
the art of controlling public-utility cor
porations and governing cities.
NEW STORY FOR CHILDREN.
Commencing with the next issue, Oc
tober 14, The Sunday Oregonian "will
publish a specially attractive story by
L. Frank Baum, author of "The Wiz
ard of Oz." He calls it "John Dough
and the Cherub." It will be given in
twelve weekly Installments, each num
ber illustrated by John R. Neill. who
made the pictures for Mr. Baum's for
mer great successes.
Frank Baum is easily first in the
KParts of American children. His
"Wizard of Oz" and its sequel, "The
Land of Oz," have become classics, the
"Wizard" now being published in five
different languages. He promises that
the new story shall eclipse his former
productions. It has the additional
charm of mystery.
"John Dough and the Cherub"
abounds in unique Baum characters.
The author has the happy knack of
writing stories which parents delight
to read to children. Therefore the new
offering is certain to entertain every
one In the family.
AS TO CO-EDCCATION.
The question of Co-education in those
larger universities in which it has pre
vailed for a number of yeare a ques
tion supposed by its advocates to have
been settled long ago in the affirmative
by practical test seems to have re
turned to the debatable stage. It is
not held, as formerly, that young
women have not an equal right with
young men to the privileges of higher
education, but simply that it is better,
and indeed best, for students of the
two sexee to take their course of uni
versity training in separate class
rooms, recite in different classes and
be strictly segregated from each other
in all that pertains to student life.
The attitude of President Wheeler, of
Berkeley, upon this question is well
known. It is distinctly hostile to the
women students of that great univer
sity, puts a low estimate upon their at
tainments as students that seems to be
grounded in prejudice rather than Jus
tified by the standing of the young
women in their studies, and is withal
so plainly antagonistic to the" co-educational
Idea as to excite just criticism
on the basis of its manifest unfairness.
It Is splenetic rather than logical, and
its influence upon the student-body of
that institution has been noted with
regret by all openminded men and
women who have coine within its cir
cle. It is held that it encourages boor
ish young men who assume superiority
over women solely because of the acci
dent of sex in a bearing toward the
young women in their classes that is
at once unmanly, undemocratic and
un-American.
The situation has not become so"
acute at Stanford, though there is a
show of tolerance in the attitude of
many young men in the classrooms
that Is exasperating to women stu
dents and that no doubt had its Incep
tion In the reason given by Mrs. Jane
Stanford herself for admitting young
women, in restricted numbers, to the
university namely, that such admis
sions would be "good for the boys."
presumably by putting them on their
good behavior. The benefits to be de
rived from the course of study by the
young women themselves were thus,
by Implication at least, of secondary
consideration, even if considered at all.
Cornell, a pioneer in the co-educational
field, suffers annoyance and dis
credit only In a lesser degree than
Berkeley from the same cause the as
sumption of superiority over women in
intellectual lines by a large number of
male students an assumption that the
faculty ignores, presumably because
that is the easiest way to deal with it
from the standpoint of the governing
body. And now conies the University
of Chicago with the announcement
that the sexes are to be separated in
that institution, gradually at first, and
ultimately segregated entirely. There
seems to be no hostility to the princi
ple of co-education In this decision at
least none that is based upon the old
ground of the Intellectual superiority
of man. So far as appears, the step
is taken in the interest of both classes
of students, the avowed Intent being to
"insure privacy both to men and
women and to make university life
freer from publicity, which is now its
greatest failing." Upon this basis the
Issue should be met fairly and dealt
with dispassionately. If it had been
found, after careful trial, that the as
sociation of men and women together
In the student-body of a great univer
sity does not bring about the best re
sults In scholarship and deportment
for either or both of them, it is time
to segregate them. This does not
mean that university privileges shall
be increased for the one class and di
minished for the other; it does not
mean an expression in high places
against the higher education of women,
but merely that, after due trial. It has
been found to be best to segregate the
sexes in university work. A storm of
protest against this decision will,, no
doubt, arise from the ad voeates-at-large
of co-education; but It is fair to
suppose that those dealing with the
question at close range from a practi
cal basis are better qualified to judge
of its merits than are those whose
views are purely theoretical and whose
knowledge of Its workings is confined
to a. few Individuals rather than to the
mass of students.
The saddest entry in the criminal
record of Bernard O. Velguth was
made when his faithful brother bade
the delinquent good-bye as the gates
of the state prison closed upon him for
a term of years. The truth of the dec
laration "No man lives to himself
alone" was fully exemplified In this
case. Unfortunately it is not an Iso
lated nor yet an unusual one. The rec
ords of community life everywhere ere
blotted and blistered by such tears as
fell from the eyes of Arthur Velguth
as he bade hi brother good-bye. Down
through the ages comes the wail: "Oh,
Absalom, my son, my son Absalom,
would to God I had died for thee,"
finding echo in paternal hearts the
world over. The case pending before
the court in Seattle in which a young
man will be put upon his defense for
slaving, in a moment of unbridled pa
slefn, the lifelong and honored friend
of his father, is big with this bitter
though unspoken wall. It commends
1 yils young crlnjinal to the insane asy-
lum In order to save him from the gal
lows, and illustrates the divine quality
of pity when enlisted in behalf of
parental woe.
It would be a misfortune to the edu
cational Interests of Northwestern Ore
gon if the Willamette Valley Chautau
qua Association should be compelled
to dissolve and the work it has under
taken should be abandoned. Through
the agency ,of the association the best
speakers and lecturers in the country
have been brought to Oregon and the
people have had opportunity to hear
them at very slight expense. That the
Chautauqua meetings have not been a
financial success is not surprising, for
enterprises of that kind seldom make
expenses. As our colleges are main
tained by private benefactions, so must
a Chautauqua assembly be supported.
It Is to be hoped that means will be
found to carry on the work in the fu
ture as in the past. The association
has been a complete success In the en
tertainment and instruction it has af
forded, and must not be permitted to
go out of existence.
Reports of freezing weather in Ohio,
Indiana, Missouri and other Middle
Western States serve to remind us of
the superiority of Oregon climate. If
you have friends in the Middle West
who ought to be residents of Oregon,
this is a good time to write them a few
letters telling of the roses In- bloom,
the apples hanging on the trees and
bedroom windows wide open at night.
They will be in a proper frame of mind
just now to read letters of that kind.
Strike while the Iron is hot, or rather
write while your Eastern friends are
cold.
There is something more than a bare
possibility tirafthe vigorous fight being
waged against Hearst may help bis
cause. While It is hardly probable
that the people of New York will elect
him Governor, there is no accounting
for the way votes are sometimes cast.
A candidate very seldom suffers by
reason of his being made the center of
a fight. Some people grow sympa
thetic, while others forget that there
is any one else in the running. Don't
count the votes till the polls are closed.
The fool with the gun Is abroad in
the land. His latest appearance was
In the woods near Gresham, and his
victim is an eight-year-old boy, the
son of a farmer, who was in an apple
tree. What kind of a "varmint" the
lad was mistaken for is not known, as
the man with the gun disappeared
when the boy was brought down and
has not yet been heard from.
Mrs. Jefferson Davis, beloved of the
Southland, after many months of in
validism, is slowly passing into the
shadow. The indomitable will that
stood her in such good stead during
the dark days of civil war upholds her
in her battle against the last enemy.
It has brought her back repeatedly
from the gates of death to a renewal
of the long lease of life.
It will cost approximately $2,500,000
to duplicate the conduit from the head
works on Bull Run to the reservoir in
Portland. But of course we shall have
to have It when the time comes; which.
Judging from the growth of the city In
the past year, the clamor for "more
water" last Summer and the Increased
demand foreshadowed, cannot be long
delayed.
It may be admitted that General
Sherman knew what he was talking
about when he made his famous re
mark about war; but after all, perhaps
war isn't much more trouble than pre
serving the peace of a quarrelsome
world. Why will other nations con
tinue to fight in full view of the Big
Stick?
It Is now the turn of Hood River
orchardists to bend the suppliant knge
to labor, beseeching its kind office in
saving the crop. When it is stated
that the apple crop of that section is
menaced by lack of pickers, the story
of the applegrowers' anxiety s told.
General Fuii6ton 'retires from Cuba
as gracefully as possible because the
Cubans don't like him, and there is no
chance for him to make a hit there in
times of peace. It will be remembered
that General Funston also got himself
disliked among the Filipinos.
The Rhode Island Republicans are
willing that tariff revision shall be un
dertaken when everybody is ready and
willing to undertake it. Everybody in
eludes Senator AUlrich, of course; and
everybody knows what kind of a tariff
revisionist Senator Aldrich is.
Velguth is behind the bars at Salem,
and nobody will ever know how much
he stole from the gas company. But
everybody will know who must pay for
the careless and inefficient methods of
the gas company, and that is the pub
lic. A Cuban banker who had accumu
lated liabilities of $3,000,000 or $4,000,000
has disappeared with something like
$1,000,000. There are times when we
are constrained to think that the Cu
bans are entirely civilized.
Denver offeis $10,000 for the final
championship baseball game, and Spo
kane raises the offer to $15,000. Is it
possible that Pasco or Puyallup will
overlook a chance like this?
Mr. Hughes is giving everybody in
New York a chance to hear and see
him, whiskers and all, and the public
confidence in him is undiminished. He
must be a mighty good man.
The New York Coroner insisted that
Policy King Al Adams was murdered,
but the Coroner's jury declared that
he committed suicide. However, both
agree that he is dead. s
Possibly Mr. Croker will be willing
to tell that Irish jury where he got It.
Then again perhaps he will not. Mean
while Boss Murphy knows where he Is
going to get it.
The eye of the world is now on those
two battling Chicago baseball teams;
but the other eye hasn't 'yet been re
moved from those stockyards.
More underground work against
Hearst. The Tammany man who built
the subway has given $1000 to the,
Hughes campaign fund.
General Funston may be returning
from Cuba; but the Grand Chief Custo
dian of the Lid Is still on duty, with
the aforesaid lid.
The Chicago woman who offers her
self for sale to the highest bidder
would be dear at any price,
J. B. MOHAN, WHO DOES THINGS
Criminal Lawyer by Profession, He
Believes in Guerilla Warfare.
(An appreciative sketch, written by an ad
mirer of Mr. Moran, and published in the
World today. Massachusetts Democrats have
nominated Mr. Moran for the Governorship.)
During the first half of John B. Moran's
Independent campaign for the district
attorneyship of Suffolk County, Mass
achusetts, probably no intelligent voter.
Including Mr. Moran himself, thought he
could be elected. But he was. Then
came the question: "Who is this John
B. Moran, anyway'.''"
For over a decade John B. Moran, a
criminal lawyer by profession, had been
a strong guerrilla force in local political
warfare able to Influence an appreciable
number of votes, and invariably acting
without regard to party lines, and, by
his own statement, in accordance only
with his own belief in the Justice of any
given party action. Sometimes with one
faction and, sometimes with the other,
finally. In this last election cheerfully
and pugnaciously against both, tho man.
nevertheless, built lor himself a repu
tation for incorruptible honesty combined
with a suspicion of crankiness, hot-head-odness,
and power restricted to a small
but pretty certain sphere of influence.
Mr. Moran is essentially a "man of the
people." born 46 years ago. of Irish par
entage; a man in whom deep and genuine
sympathy for the masses, personal am
bition and the love of a good tight are
apparently almost equally salient char
acteristics. He carries an audience, not
so much by argument as by impulse; yet
the logical side of the man lurks In the
background, his impulses are usually suc
cessful because he can explain them
afterward, thus becoming the despair of
his political advisers and often turning
what lpoks like certain defeat into a
surprising Victory. .
The title "Me Moran." bestowed by the
New York Sun, is not without a certain
exact significance. The secret so far of
his political success lies In liis being what
at first glance looks like an impractical
politician, a man who allies himself per
manently with no one faction, yet is so
versed in politics that his Independence
becomes a valuable asset. Doubtless, too.
he has a fine instinctive sent'e of theatri
cal effect and a cheerful catholicity in the
choice of means by which to attain any
desired position.
Mr. Moran's opponents maintained and
are still maintaining, that there is little
need in Boston for such activity as her
considers part and parcel of the district
attorney's office. Against this contention
there is already a long list of investiga
tions and Indictments. Prominent hotels
have been closed for violation of the
statute against screened windows in
places devoted lo the sale of intoxicating
liquors, have given up their licences and
been compelled to obtain new ones; there
have been marked changes in police a
mlnlstratlon ; a general cleaning up of
criminally conducted, so-called medical
establishments; legislative investigation
that summoned nearly the whole House
of Representatives and led to Investiga
tions by the legislature Itself that re
sulted In the Indictment of one member.
Prison conditions have been investigated
and a keeper indicted for negligence. The
(secretary of a United States Congress
man has been convicted of larceny of
campaign funds. Contractors doing work
for the city have been indicted for using
poor material. The so-called "Free Press
Graft" In the legislature Is under inves
tigation. One of the latest indictments
included six corporations and ID or 17
Individuals engaged In the Ice business
on a charge of conspiracy.
HEARST'S RECORD IX COXGRESS
Chiefly Conspicuous For the Times He
Did Not Vote.
New York Times.
The Republican State Committee last
night announced that it has been doing
a little Investigating: on its own ac
count, and that the investigation had
to do with the record of W. R- Hearst
In Congress. The statement says:
Mr. Hearst is not appealing to people
for support as a public officer for the
first time: he has a record. He has
twice been elected to Congress. In his
newspaper and in his speeches he asks
for votes because, he says, he will look
after the interest of the common peo
ple. It is Interesting to note just haw
thoroughly Mr. Hearst has served hts
constituency during the time he has
been a member of Congress. He was
supposed to be In Washington during
the sessions of the Fifty-eighth Con
gress. It is shown by the record that
in the Fifty-eighth Congress there
were 86 rollcalls. Mr. Hearst was re
ported as:
Voting ". IS times
Not voting 70 times
In the Fifty-ninth Congress the total
number of rollcalls was 105. Mr.
Hearst is reported as:
Voting 10 times
Present 2 times
Not voting S3 times
Summarized, It gives this total for
the Fifty-eighth and Fifty-ninth Con
gress: Total number 191 times
Hearst -anted 28 times
Hearst present 2 times
Hearst nonvoting 163 times
Sure Winner.
Walla Walla Bulletin.
T. H. Farewell, of Wenatchea, carried
off the honors at the fruit exhibit yester
day, winning the first prize of $250. Mr.
Farewell has won all kinds of honors at
fairs with his fruit, having received the
award at the St. Louis Fair for the
largest apple In the world, and winning
the first prize of $1000 at the Spokane
fair last week. In addition to this he
won honors at the Lewis and Clar Ex
position at Portland last year.
Limelight IH On Pittsburg.
Judge.
The wife of the Pittsburg millionaire
reached her breakfast table In fear
and trepidation. ' The waiting maid
offered her the morning papers.
"No, MifTie; never give me those
wheri John Is out of town on business.
I can't hear to think what they might
contain."
And she sipped her coffee with heavy
eyes.
I in the J. Ham. Lewis Class.
Philadelphia Ledger.
The pertinacity with which Mr. Hughes
clings to his whiskers In this era of
smooth faces shows him to be no ordin
ary man.
The Deacon and. the Belly-Aker.
Don't like to hear a feller belly-aka
All the time: and stan aroun'
An' give ev'rythins; the devil.
An' abuse, the hull town.
Taint right, this eternal belly-akin';
Crlticlzin' every man;
Seems like ne'e alius takln'
Special delight in Jerf a-rakin'
The hull worl' from tnalaska
Clear down to Yucatan!
If you've got to belly-ake.
Why. ol" man, fer God's sake.
Go up to the north pole.
An" have It out with the bears;
Don't stan aroun' the street
An' belly-ake to all you meet.
Kick the town, an' cues the heat:
An' fill the air with all your cares.
Take a hunch, an' quit your belly-akin' ;
Keepin ev'ry-person quakln'
At what la comln next;
Klckln' at the business men;
An' at the parson, now an' then,
Complalnin' at Ills text.
Goeh-darn a belly-aker
He's lit fer Just the undertaker.
An' yet there's no place fer him
After he leaves thi place;
The devil won't have him 'frald he'd slur
him
Aa' St. Peter'd surely slap his face.
L. A. Lung In Hlllsboro Argus.
KIPLING'S STORIES SEXT BACK
Startling; Experience of a Wriier With
Popular Magazines.
Literary Digest.
It is no novel device to lest the lit
erary attainments of editors by send
ing in to magazines for acceptance the
already published work of some well
known literary figure under a faint
disguise, but it usually produces a
laugh on the editors. A correspond
ent of the New York Sun. over too.
signature "filack and While,' reports
a trial of the magazines viitn "a well
known story of Kipling's." We quote
the important parts cf the letter:
"A non-literary friend and myself,
after some discussion of tile subject
in question, decided upon a test per- I
haps one of questionable propriety,
but nevertheless a tost, and a relent
less one. One of Kipling's most popu
lar short stories was selected. The
environment of the tale was English,
but as the tory depended little on
local color the scene was easily trans
ferred to America. An entire change
of names tif characters was accom
plished after consitlera ble mental ef
fort. Aside from this, I give my word
of honor not a paragraph, a line, a
word, or a punctuation was chanjred.
1'pon being typewritten it was snt
to the following publishers:
"Collier's Weekly, Harper's Monthly,
Scribner's, Ainslee's, Century. Mun
sey's, Llppincott's, Metropolitan, Cos
mopolitan, Outing Magazine. Mc
Clure's, Frank Leslie's. Everybody's,
Saturday Kvenlng Post, Smart Set,
Broadway Mrfjtazlne.
"In tile case of each of the above
mentioned pu blisliers tile story was
returned to us accompanied by a note
in which the editorial soul breathed
forth its appreciation and regret, but
nothing more. Finally, to make tiie
position of the undiscernlng publish
ers superlativeiv ridiculous, the manu
script was forwarded to Kipling's
original publishers of the story. After
an Interval of about seven weeks we
received a letter containing a check
and acceptance.
"The check was returned by us. with
the explanation that t lie story was to
be amplified into a novel, and in due
time we receive our manuscript back."
Tnxamcier In the Tell-Tle Line.
Now York Press.
New- Vot'k City is lo experience a
complete transformation of its cab
service within the next six weeks. One
hundred auto vehicles, equipped with
an ingenious device which registers
automatically and in full view of the
passenger the number of miles trav
eled and the amount due for time and
distance, will be placed in operation,
and wiil be the vanguard cf iLn army
of revolution which is to extend to
many cities In the I'nlted States. Not
only will toe patron bo protected
against Imposition, but the cab com
pany itself will have a registration of
every cent collected and every mile
traveled. The "taxameter" is the name
given to the device, which is a German
invention.
Kerosene and Beer for Tenipernnre.
Chicago Cor. New York World.
Miss Eva Shonts. sister of Chairman
Shonts, of the Panama Commission, ob
tained samples of barrel-house rum from
Alderman Kenna's place In Clarke street
and publicly burned It at the meeting of
the W. C. T. U.
"I got the tip that she was coming hero
for booze," said the bartender at Kenna's
"and I sold her a quart mixture of kero
sene and beer."
Miss Shonts said she would prove the
poison In the liquor by setting it on fire.
It exploded, boiled, hissed, turned red.
blue and yellow, and then went out with
a bang.
Harry Glng. a Chinaman, signed the
pledge at once.
I'pton Slnelnlr to Go on (he Stage.
New York Times.
Vpton Sinclair, author of "The Jungle."
has determined temporarily to abandon
the pursuit of literary honors and to go
on the Mage. He Is lo play a part In tho
dramatization of his own novel, to be
produced next month by George H. Bren
nan. This dramatic Version of the story is the
joint work of-Mr. Sinclair and Miss Mar
garet Mayo. It Is said that while at
tending rehearsals as a spectator the In
terest of the-Mjthor developed into a de
sire to participate, more actively in the
presentation. Long telegrams, leading to
this positive announcement, were ex
changed between author and manager.
"Clergymen l.lve -O Years Too Long."
a London Disnatch.
Dr. Soofield, a well-known physician,
in the second lecture of a series deal
lug with the science of life, uttered the
dictum that there is great danger In
any sudden change of environment af
ter a certain age. That Is why, he said,
business men who retire and go to the
seaside to live, die so quickly after
they make the change. He added that
marriages between healthy cousins
have no drawbacks. Clerks are the
only men who live as long as they
ought to. Clergymen live ::o or 30
years longer than they ought, while
doctors die before their time.
His Wife Helps "Xick's" Campaign.
Cincinnati Dispatch in "Washington Post.
Mrs. Nicholas Longworth is taking
great Interest in her husbands cam
paign for re-election to Congress, and
will attend tho opening meeting that
Is to be held tonight In Music IfalL
With a party of friends she will occupy
a box near the stage.
The Congressman has planned a
number of meetings to be held In the
disriet. and it is expected that Mrs.
Longworth will attend several of them.
His I"nper Klrstj Amrrlcn Xeit.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
When Hearst yells loudly that ho
stands for Americanism he really
means that he stands for "the Ameri
can and Journal."
WHICH GETS THE
THINGS DOIXG IX OREGON COUNTRY
Editor Klnrnld'n Bust Week.
Oregon State Journal.
The editor has had to set the typa
In this paper this week himself, be
sides doing tile work of two or three
other people. It is impossible to hire
help. Hay spoiling in the field and
wood not hauled. Some are too busy,
and others will not work.
Capture a Shark.
Yaq'.iina News.
Ist Saturday morning while Ed
Meaker and Tarl Telleffson were engaged
in glllnetting they captured the largest
shark ever seen in this bay. It was 10
feet In length and weighed alwiut (too
pounds. It was thought to be of the man
eatlns variety and judging from its un
usual siy.e. It's very likely it was: al
though the man-eating shark is an entire
stranger in this latitude.
Shot JitRt in Time.
Milton Ragle.
William Mang. a farmer residing be
tween Krenehtown and Hudson Bay, shot
and ki!l"d a big mountain lion at his
place Saturday while the animal was
sneaking up on one of his chlldien' play
ing in the yard. Mr. Mang happened to
s''e tho animal as it was creeping up, and
rushing into the house, secured his rifle,
and shot the Hon before it could escape.
Mr. Mang estimated that tho lion weigh
ed between an) and 4O0 pounds and was
as big as a K'Mid-slzcd calf.
The Wooillmrn I'lnn.
independent.
In a recent issue mention w?s made)
of A. K. Campbell clearing S3H5 in the
past year off a half acre and his chick
ens. He sold $Jr"i0 worth of lettuce, onions,
cabbages and potatoes. His lettuce con
sisted of two rows ill feet long and IS
Inches apart. If he had had an acre of
lettuce and a market for it he would
have realized J.'T.'.O. All he asks for now
is a ear lino to Portland. Last January
1 he had 48 hens and the flock has been
Increased to 7L'. February 1 all 4"i Hens
were layinc. By September 1 he got 6775
egps and sold them for $17.64.
Farmer Getting Desperate.
Corvallis Times.
There is a man over at the Yaehals
wl,.. IiitenHc t r. t-i 1 1 n T-tV if it Hnnt
let him alone. He was in Corvallis lite
other day. Not long ago a band of eiK
.got into his garden and ale up all lne
cabbage. It was a case where the ranch
er must Import cabbage or go without i
the long Winter through. I intend to
notify the authorities to keep the elk nut
of my parden.'' he said. "The animals
have already eaten up my cabbage. If
they don't let me alone I'll kill one of
them, that's all. I'm going to defend
myself and my projorty. no matter what
the game law says." There is a good
chance for a dead elk if things don't
change over on tho Yachats.
l'roliti of the Pen.
Corvallis Times.
Nearly $lf a head was the price real
ized for six months' old pigs sold the
other day by J. I. Applesate. the well
known dairyman, who resides on the
Hogue farm across the Willamette, of
the sum nearly $11 was net profit to the
owner. The actual ago of the pigs was
six months and eight days. Skim inilk
and chopped wheat was their ration.
Forty dollars' worth of wheat was fed
to them durina; the six mont lis up to the
time they were sold to an Albany dealer.
They went at seven cents a pound. The
amount received for the eight was $127.75.
The profit after deducting the feed was
SS7.7&. The pigs were Poland-Chinas.
Alkali Soli for Suitor Berts.
Walla Walla I'nion.
A few acres of the tine big ranch owned
by Mordo McDonald, a few miles south
of the city, is so thoroughly saturated with
alkali tiiat only a few spears of salt grass
would grow here and there over the land.
It was absolutely worthless until this
year Mr. McDonald concluded to use It
for exierlmental purposes. He sowed a
ivortion of It in sugar beets last Spring
and he has on display at the county fair
at present as good or better Peets than
were ever grown in the famous Grand
Ronde Valley, where the An-u.ilgamatd
Sugar Company has a ractory for the
purpose of manufacturing sugar from the
beets.
Impending Hostilities.
Philomath Review.
A duel will probably be fought between
Sy Custer nnd A. K. Jackson ns to which
deserves the greatest praise for services
in the Oregon harvest fields. Sy has
worked 40 years, and now Jackson claims
he has worked several years longer, but
Sy claims he did more work than Jack
son. Jackson", howeer, states that one
year along in the ts, when he was In
his prime, he bound grain behind two
cradlers, which goes to show that, he
didn't have much time to sit in the shade.
Both of these gentlemen, however, will
have to go back and sit down, because
Mr. Vaughn, lather of Mrs. Wallace,
came to Oregon .In "o2 and has worked
In the harvest fields for over 60 years.
Catering to Ltixnry. ,
Seattle News.
Seattle is to have a frog farm. "R. C
Byers, a pioneer restaurant man of the
city, has made elaborate preparations for
the 'culture of the frog, and proposes to
market his product this winter. He has
purchased five acres bordering on Haller
Lake. formerly known as Hidden
Lake. The frog farm proper will have a
lake frontage of 200 feet. For 40 feet to
the lakeward. a fence of wire will be con
structed to prevent the escape of the
croaking captives. Mr. Byers has built
his farm on the marshiest portion of the
lake and states that the soil and. con
ditions are such ns to assure the success
of his project. Ho has Imported his frogs
from the famous Kankakee Marsh, In
Illinois. The frogs are of the green bull
frog type, and when ready for' market
their lefts will equal those of chickens.
THIRD WORM?
From the Chicago Record-H era! J,
-tt '