6
TIIE MORNING OREGONIAN, MONDAY, JUNE 25, 1906.
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PORTLAND, MONDAY, JUNE XS, 1906.
MISNAMED REFORM.
It interests one to find Democratic
party authorities denouncing protective
tariff and. , declaring that the only
chance of getting rid of the unjust dis
criminations of the system is through
the action of the Democratic party. It
interests one, we say, because the
Democratic party, through, its long his
tory, has almost steadily adhered to
protective tariff, but for the most part
in a way that haa aggravated the dis
criminatory features of tiie system.
That is, Democratic tariffs have been
a basis of special privilege more than
Republican ones. But the Albany (Ore
gon) Democrat says:
"The Republican party is wholly re
sponsible for the evils of the prohibitive
tariff, for that party has continually
elected to Congress the members who
have persistently prevented any reduc
tion of tariff rates, and no paper in the
State of Oregon has done so much to
elect prohibitive tariff men to Congress
' as The Oregonlan. 'The people will not
allow it to oniric, the responsibility it
thus assumed."
We are not going into any extended
examination of these statements, for it
.is unnecessary. The Important fact la
that the Democratic party has always
had its own theory and practice of
; protection, which have been more un
fair and unjust , than the Republican
system. In other words the legislation
. of the Democratic party has steadily
. upheld particular interests at the ex
pense of others, and to this end has
' framed the most unjust tariffs ever en
acted. No principle whatever has been
followed in Democratic tariffs. It has
. been, always, a grab game for pro
tection of special interests, and no
Democratic tariff, therefore, has been
: permitted to stand long. The Repub
lican system and practice, with all their
abuses, have always been fairer.
A conspicuous example was the latest
tariff enacted by the Democratic party,
known as the Wilson bill. That "tarjff
of abominations," -properly known as
such overthrew the party that made
.it, In the veny next elections. Presi
dent Cleveland himself called it a tariff
of "perfidy and dishonor," and It be
came a law without his approval.
It was framed on the principle of
"keeping protection' for yourself and
putting the other fellow- on the free
list." It increased the Inequalities of
the tariff more than any law ever en
acted; so much eo that the Dingley
'.act which superseded It has, notwith
standing all Its defects, been regarded
,by the country as fair by comparison,
and it haa stood mainly upon the con
trast with the Wilson bill.
' The Oregonlan then must be excused
for its refusal to, accept Democratic
'methods of. tariff reform. There is no
.principle, no ideal, 1n them. It Is a
grab game of the worst kind. Our own
.state . suffered by it, for It uncovered
every interest here that could receive
protection, yet protected, the sugar,
coal, steel and Other great trusts
throughout the country.' Though tariff
reform is necessary, we think the coun
try will not want Democratic tariff
reform. Tariff rates, in fact, should no
more- be a party question than rail
road rates.
MILL THE CANAL PAY?
Senator Morgan, of Alabama, though
he has never favored .the canal at
Panama, preferring Nicaragua never
theless entertains no doubt that the
Panama Canal will pay, after comple
tion. He said in the. Senate the other
, day: ."Let us get rid of the idea that
we are going to give away a great deal
of money in connection with the canal.
I believe that lf .lt were a stock con
cern the stock would be worth, J500 on
the $100 within a few years after Its
completion."
But this may be too sanguine; for
the Senator based his . opinion on the
fact that shares in the Suez Canal
command a heavy premium in all the
markets of Europe. It is necessary to
admit, however, that the conditions at
Suez are very different from those at
Panama.
For, it is necessary to bear in mind
- that the cost of the sea level Suez
Canal was only $100,000,000; the cost of
the Panama Dock. Canal will not be
less than $200,000,000, ae Is now gen
erally admitted. The cost of operating
the Sues Canal is trifling and the cost
of maintenance Is not great; the cost
of operating the Panama Canal will
be an Important Item, while the cost
of maintenance In that region of tor
rential rains cannot fail to be very
great and It may easily exceed the
receipts.
But the United States has the money
or can get it, end can build and operate
the Panama Canal. And yet, though
the business will be heavy, the .cost
of construction and maintenance will
be so great that it seem unlikely that
the stock will rise to a value approach
ing that of the Suez Canal. However,
we are not building the canal for profit
on -the stock, but to . create facilities
for commerce. The profits may at least
be expected to pay Interest on, the
bonds guaranteed by the United States,
SAN FRANCISCO'S tX'TURE.
It is unfortunate that San Francisco
finds itself unable to embrace its op
portunity to rebuild on the large "new
plan proposed both for convenience and
beauty, just after the disaster. But if
is not surprising;' indeed the calamity
is. so great that reconstruction oru m
proved lines could not have been rea
sonably expected. The city is too poor
to meet the expense that would be in
curred In making a new plat and lay
ing out streets and squares anew.
To do this would require purchase
of a great deal of property and gen
eral readjustment of values. More
over, San Francisco finds it necessary,
to get into business as quickly as posr
elble, and therefore can't wait.
But some critics are censuring the
city for not embracing the opportunity.
Such criticism is inconsiderate and
harsh. It should not be forgotten that
San Francisco's disaster fs the greatest
that has overtaken any city of the
modern world. Thousand's of Its pop
ulation are still without homes. Facili
ties for doing business are to be ere
ated, and in the circumstances it 1b
inevitable that reconstruction of the
city should follow mainly the old lines.
There will, indeed, after the first year
of temporary building, be more sub
stantial construction than that of the
old city; but there can be no general
remodeling of the city's former plan.
Besides, it is the business of San Fran
cisco, chiefly, not that of outside
critics, who seem to think their own
aesthetic, tastes ought to have been
consulted for rebuilding the stricken
city. San Francisco Is doing what it
can in the shortest way; for it has
need.
AN INJUSTICE TO OREGON.
Senator Fultn's protest against the
slight that has been offered Oregon in
distribution of the reclamation fund Is
a point that should be well taken by
the people of Oregon. This state has
vast areas of marvelously rich land
which with the advantage of irrigation
would add millions of dollars annually
to the wealth of the state. It also has
an abundance of water running to
waste through courses, which can be
utilized comparatively easy in making
productive thousands of acres of land.
It was the great extent of these lands
and the plentiful supply of water avail
able which gave Oregon such promi
nence in the original plans for irriga
tion work in the West. . The possibilities
for wonderful results,' where rich soil
and water were bath abundant, were
so great that quite naturally Oregon
was levied on heavily in the interest
of the general reclamation fund. "
This fund now amounts to many mil
lions, and while extensive irrigation
projects are under way in Colqrado,
Arizona, Idaho, California, Washington
and other Western states, all of which
have made smaller contributions to the
reclamation fund than have been made
by Oregon, this state has: been prac
tically ignored. The Klamath irriga
tion project, which is the most im
portant one yet undertaken in the
state, as is well known in both states
and probably at Washington, is much
more of a California project than of
Oregon, as the state lying to the south
of Oregon will reap greater benefits
than any that will Inure to this -Btate.
It is in Central and Eastern Oregon
that the Government's neglect will be
felt the most seriously. When the rec
lamation plans for the Government be
gan to assume definite shape and it
was clearly apparent that there would
be many millions of dollars available
for carrying on the work, settlers began
moving into the districts most likely
to be affected. For the reasons already
stated rich land and an abundance of
water Oregon, of course, . attracted
much attention and hundreds of set
tlers poured into the dry regions and
began preparations for making the
desert blossom as soon as the life
giving water was available. They are
still " waiting, and unless there is a
change in the policy of Secretary
Hitchcock, the work of development in
what will some day be the richest part
of the state will be deiayed many years.
There have been rumors that the work
has been retarded somewhat by the
numerous private irrigation projects
that have been started in various parts
of the state, but as the largest of these
projects is small in comparison with
those planned by the Government, and
would not conflict, in any way with the
la'tter, this could not be construed as
a reason for the long delay In granting
Oregon the assistance to which this
state is entitled.
Land which has been brought under
irrigation and cultivated to a high de
gree is selling today at Clarkston, Wen
atchee and North. Yakima at $1000 an
acre, and is yielding fruit and other
products that justify the prices at
which it is selling. Equally rich land,
well located for Irrigation purposes, can
be secured In Oregon in immense areas
at from $2.50 to $10 an acre and needs
only the application of water to bring
it into condition where it will produce
crops that will swell its value to maxi
mum figures. The Government owes It
to Oregon to make an equitable division
of the funds, to which, this state has
contributed so heavily. This is a duty
which should be discharged for reasons
other than that the money rightfully
belongs to this state.
With the development of our lands
which are susceptible to irrigation will
come Increased population, better
transportation facilities and greater
prosperity, all of which will contribute
to the general good of the Government,
as well as the people. When this de
velopment comes, the large deficits,
now due to maintaining expensive
stage routes and remote postofflces in
the Isolated regions of Central and
Eastern Oregon, will be eliminated. As
a plain business proposition, aside from
the moral obligation of the Government
in the matter, Oregon's full share In
the reclamation fund should be spent
in this state at the earliest possible
moment.
- ,;i
r '
AMERICAN SHIPOWNERS HANDICAPPED
., San Francisco advices report the
steamship Columbia so near a total
wreck, from injuries received at the
time of the earthquake, that it will
probably be abandoned to the under
writers. The loss of this vessel, fol
lowing so closely on the wreck "of the
St. Paul, leaves the Portland-San Fran
cisco route unprovided with a modern
comfortable passenger steamer, and at
the best It would be more than a year
before new steamers could be built for
the route. In this city the ancient
steamer G. W. Elder Is to be rebuilt
and placed in service, again. The ves
sel is about thirty years old, and even
if restored to the class she held before
she was sunk, will be too small and
slow to be popular with the traveling l
UUIIV Wl VJ LI 11, I. w . . . . v. .... - -
The fact, however, that large sums
ot money are spent in repairing old
vessels, which have practically outlived
then usefulness, reveals- a handicap
which American shipowners suffer In
comparison with those of foreign coun
tries. In Liverpool and London the
world's greatest markets for shipping
property, there are large fleets of fine
modern built steamers for sale. Steam
ers of from five to ten years of age,
in first-class - condition, can be pur
chased at a much lower figure per
register ton than the rejuvenated Elder.
and Columbia shall have cost, by the
time they are again ready for service.
With shipping property so plentiful and
cheap, ancient hulks like those which
have cumbered the Portland-San Fran
cisco route are sent to the scrap pile,
where they are broken up and sold for
what they are worth. In emergencies
like the present, when there are no
first-class passenger steamers on the
route, it would be a great boon to
American shipowners to go Into this
world's market and pick up a few of
these cheap ships, which would be so
far ahead of the age-worn hulks, that
it Is proposed to repair, that they would
seem almost like new ships.
But owing, to our venerable naviga
tion laws, which are more antique and
out of date than the steamers which
laboriously cover the Pacific Coast
routes, It is impossible for our ship
owners to purchase modern economical
carriers, which could be brought out
here and placed In service long beforo
either the Elder or the Columbia will
be repaired. This embargo which we
place on our own citizens is the rank
est kind of injustice. It forces the men
engaged in the carrying trade to handle
their business with more expensive but
Inferior vessels.
Portland would have had a steam
ship line In operation to Alaska long
ago if. American capitalists were per
mitted to buy vessels where they were
cheap and plentiful, Instead of confin
ing them to the American market,
Where they are scarce and high. Some
day we shall get over this system of
keeping our people at a continued dis
advantage, by making them work with
ancient, clumsy tools while our neigh
bors have the economic advantage of
the best that the world produces, and
at much lower rat,es than we pay for
the antiques which we use.
BETTER-WRITING AS -LITERATURE.
The art of -writing letters that can
pass Into literature is rare, in English.
We haven't many good letters In Eng
lish, though almost every author has
essayed it. Perhaps our best letter
writers are Cowper, Burns and Byron.
The letters of Thackeray are not much,
nor are those of Macaulay or Matthew
Arnold.
Andrew Lang In the Critic speaks of
letter-writing as a lost art, describes
Stevenson as the last of the letter writ
ers, and ascribes to the telephone the
final disappearance of the art whose
decay has been going on for many
years. "Let us rejoice that the thing
was not discovered sooner," said Mr.
Lang, the thing being, of course, the
telephone. ''If Horace Walpole could
have chatted with Horace Mann In
Florence by telephone, or Mme. De
Sevigne with her daughter, or Thack
eray with Mrs. Brookfield, or Mr. Stev
enson from Samoa with Mr. Gosse and
others, our literature would be the
poorer. It Is true that we should also
be spared the painfully dull correspond
ence which pads out volumes of "Life
and Letters," but, after all, we need not
read these unless we are conscientious
reviewers, which Is far from probable."
Literary men at least no longer write
letters, according to Mr. Lang; "if they
have a good idea they keep it and make
copy of it."
This Is interesting; but It doesn't
meet the case as to letter-writing in
English. Truth Is that writers in Eng
lish never had the knack and supreme
art of letter-writing. The French have
had It, for centuries. Best letter-writing
Is French. It is a form of literature
that suits the versatility of the French
mind, French letter-writing therefore
bears the palm.
CRUEL DESPOTISM IN RUSSIA.
For over a quarter of a century Rus
sia, in addition to its many other virtues,
has been a scene of repeated massa
cres, rape, riot and murder. These four
crimes were not confined to any par
ticular district or against any single
subdivision of Russia's people, but were
with equal regularity carried on against
Armenian and Jew, Mussulman and
dissenter, Finn and Pole, Tartar and
Chinese.
Those who know Russia best per
sistently maintain that these constant
atrocities were instigated and deliber
ately encouraged by the bureaucratic
brigands of that unhappy land. The
world, however, was not ready to be
lieve it possible that such staggering
carnivals" of riot and murder should
have their actual source In the organ
ized government of a great empire. . In
this belief the world was greatly in
fluenced by Russia's official and semi
official' declarations, charging these
bloody incidents to those who were so
constantly despoiled and victimized.
The last tragedy at Blalystock, how
ever, has completely unmasked the foul
deeds of the Inner workings of Russia's
bureaucracy. This, indeed, was made
possible by that remarkable body of
men who constitute Russia's first regu
lar Parliament, or Douma. Knowing
full well the meaning of truth and
veracity to the imperial sources of in
formation, the . Douma at once dis
patched a committee of investigation to
the scene of the massacre, the City of
Blalystock. Contrary to past usages in
that land, where the simplest report of
a most simple Incident required years
of "official investigation," the Douma
committee within almost twenty-four
hours after its arrival was ready to an
nounce to the world that no such thing
as the throwing of a bomb by a Jewish
anarchist among a Corpus Christi pro
cession ever took place in that city,
but that the whole bloody affair should
be charged to the officials of His Im
perial Majesty's-government.
Realizing that the Parliamentary in
vestigating committee could not possi
bly be silenced. Count Witte, Russia's
acrobatic diplomat, now sojourning In
France for his health, ,we are told
took upon himself to explain away the
situation. Accordllng to him the re
forms which are to heal Russia's
wounds and enable that country to en
ter upon a period of economic, moral
and intellectual resurrection are actual
ly delayed by the Douma; the Blaly
stock massacre Is due to the Jews, who
are the head of the revolution, and
the "black hundreds" are Russia's con
servative and patriotic element.
This, of course. Is not all of the dip
lomatic wisdom dispensed by that
"liberal" statesman. It is enough, how
ever, to show that, of all lands the
world over, Russia alone remains the
land where the rights of man have no
existence, and the hideous gospel of
hate and murder Is preached alike from
the tribunes of the empire and the altars
of the Holy Orthodox Church, and
where justice and religion are deemed
to consist In acts of persecution and
torture, riot and murder. Such are the
allied powers of the hierarchy and
monarchy In the Empire of the Czar.
California bank deposits amount to
$540,000,000 and the banks In which they
are held are credited with assets of
$693,000,000. The loss suffered by San
Francisco, by the earthquake and fire,
was unequalled by any similar catas
trophe in the history of the world, but
despite its magnitude, some of its ap
palling force is lost In the contempla
tion of the financial showing made by
the entire state. There Is great promise
of large crops of grain and fruits, the
mines and oil wells are turning out
new wealth more rapidly than ever be
fore, and if the insurance companies
would pay up their losses and the strik
ing sailors return to work at the high
est wages ever paid for similar employ
ment, the Bay City would blossom Into
its old-time Bplendor at a rate that
would astonish the world.
"Against Prohibition" were the words
written on one of the ballots cast In
Sellwood precinct for Tom Word. The
voter was apparently fearful that the
presumable inconsistency of a vote for
Word and "wet" would not be suf
ficiently guarded by the mere cross be
fore the two lines, so he added the two
words as a precaution against its being
counted "dry." The vote was rejected
at the recount, but the incident serves
to corroborate Mr. Stevens' statement
made the day after election that had
the voting in that precinct been con
fined to the registration, he would have
had more than 76 majority Instead of
but l8. What Is known as "the liquo'r
vote" moves In a mysterious way its
wonders to perform.
The tone of the gas company's attor
neys has been a tone of surprise and
grief that The Oregonlan should have
questioned the proceedings of the gas
company, and . railed on the Lord's
anointed. But It's an old story that
good people have to bear the whips
and scorns of the time, and that patient
merit has to take quips and gibes from
the rabble that refuse to appreciate it.
Nevertheless, the price of gas has been
reduced and the quality much Im
proved. So the public has some recom
pense for the sacrilege committed in Its
name.
George- Fred Williams, the pictur
esque Socialist statesman of Massa
chusetts, who was enthusiastically for
Bryan formerly, now says Bryan won't
do, because he is shading off too much
towards conservatism. "The men who
now control the Democratic organiza
tion in Massachusetts and 1n the Na
tion can never travel with Mr. Bryan
in his present course," says the vigilant
George Fred. He can only tee In the
Bryan movement an attempt on the
part of the "torles" to head off a
stronger radical, William Randolph
Hearst
, Possibly there is something .in this
forecast and criticism. In looking
about for a Democratic Presidential
possibility, the Richmond News Leader
(Democratic) finds that "Mr. Bryan will
not do. He is stale. He has showed
his impressive face until it has ceased
to be Impressive and has talked his
earnest talks until nobody takes them
seriously. He has been contradicted
flatly by events, and against events
and facts ino man may argue success
fully, however eloquent or plausible he"
may be."
Everybody has read of Andrew Poe's
battle with Big Foot, In the early
settlement of Ohio. A great-grandson of
Poe, now living in Kansas, has the
identical tomahawk used by Big Foot
in that encounter. Poe was one of the
most powerful men of his time, and
for strength and agility the Indian was
nearly his match. The encounter was
one of the most strenuous dn the his
tory of border warfare. But Poe got
his Indian. He fought two indeed at
the same time, and both were killed.
"The Helpful Hen" is the subject of
an interesting essay by one of our
country newspapers; It is an excellent
subject. Promote the hen and she will
help you. She never goes on a strike;
she doesn't begrudge the time she sits
on her eggs. Intensify the hen and
keep watch over her brood. They will
put your boys through college, keep
your girls In finery and pay your debts.
Nothing more helpful than the Helpful
Hen.
But Senator Elk-ins, Who has immense
wealth, got from appropriation of the
bounties of nature and the activities
of modern society, will be in no hurry
to relieve himself of the burdens of
wealth. Not he. He will advise those
who have been more conscientious and
less fortunate to whistle, and to keep
on whistling.
Senator Gearln goes to Europe for
an automobile tour. Meanwhile - Ore
gon is deprived of the Senator's pres
ence at the National Capital and his
patriot adherents at home bear the
heat and burden of the day on foot.
There is information that work on
the railroad projected from Drain to
Coos Bay will begin veiy soon, cer
tainly within a few days. It will be
an event for Southwestern Oregon, and
indeed for all Oregon.
"From what cause is it," asks The
Dalles Chronicle, "that Puget Sound is
a better market than Portland?" No
cause, because it Isn't. The answer is
a simple one: "The boy lied."
Some of the numerous persons who
thought they knew how to" act in a
theater fire found out differently in the
theater scare of last Saturday.
In the fight for control of the Oregon
Legislature, the office of boatpuller at
Astoria has been only temporarily for
gotten. Same old fight for President and
Speaker In the Oregon Legislature. But
give Brother U'Ren time.
A philosopher observes that the larg
est strawberry is the one that always
finds room at the top.
The tale of Creffleld's rise, from the
grave will probably not be credited in
these days of scepticism.
It will be difficult now to repeal that
Oregon law for $50,000 bond for protec
tion of fire premiums,
OPIUM TRAFFIC WITH CHIKA.
Its Evil There Contrasted With Prohi
bition Benefit la Philippines.
If there is one motto on which the peo
ple of the United States may plume them
selves at the expense of Great Britain,
says an English paper, it is in reference
to the opium traffic. The American Gov
ernment has prohibited the use of the
drug in the Philippine Islands after 1908,
but the British Government continues to
manufacture large quantities for con
sumption in China. Therefore American
news agencies are entitled virtuously to
exult and vigorously to denounce the
"hellish traffic." Since the question has
been dlscused In the British Parliament,
It has been asserted that the "British pub.
lie is aroused, and has determined to re
move the opium yoke from the helpless
Chinese. Even In Canada stirring edi
torial sermons have been preached from
the same text. The wonder is that no
one in the Canadian Parliament has arisen
to demand that our Government join in
the chorus of condemnation. Before one
permits himself to rage on the subject
he should consider the facts of the case.
Going back as far as 1793, we find that
the production of opium In India was In
the hands of the Government, .the Idea
being that this was the best way in which
to regulate the traffic. As the natives of
India were not permitted to use the drug,
It was exported, chiefly to China. Be
tween 1816 and 1S36, through the conniv
ance of Chinese officials, the Importation
of the stuff doubled, despite edicts de
signed to suppress it. In 1S39 the Chinese
seized and destroyed a large quantity of
smugglel opium In the possession of for
eigners in Canton. War with England en
sued, China wag defeated, was obliged to
pay a heavy indemnity, to open her chief
ports for foreign trade, to cede Hong
Kong to Britain, and to withdraw her em
bargo on Indian opium.
No one will deny that Britain had no
moral right to force opium on China.
Thus stated, the question was never de
bated; for not only the question of opium
importation, but that of foreign trade
generally was Involved in the war. Once
and for all, China was opened to the
world, and it Is this point that must be
borne In mind when the Chinese war. is
under discussion. Ever since the Treaty
of Tien-Tsin, arranged in 1S58, China has
been obliged to admit opium from India,
subject to a small duty. One of the re
sults claimed by the opponents of the
traffic is the mental, moral and physi
cal deterioration of whole provinces of
Chinese. No one it able to deny that
opium has an absolutely destructive ef
fect on its users.
The question is not "Was Britain justi
fied in forcing opium on China In 1858?
but, "What is Britain's responsibility for
the destruction going on to-day?" A good
answer is found In a short letter to the
London Times of June 1. The corres
pondent relates a conversation he had
with Li Hung Chang, when he was vice
roy of Chi-li. H1b excellency bitterly de
nounced the British Government in forc
ing the drug on China. The writer said
that he was surprised to hear him raise
that question, as he had been receftly
traveling through one of the chief opium
districts in China, and had been told that
most of the crop belonged to Li Hung
Chang himself! It is well known that
the great bulk of the drug used in China
is grown in China. Mr Morley said in
the House of Commons the other day
that the Indian opium traffic was only
Important when the Chinese crop failed.
There can be not the slightest doubt
that If once opium was a moral problem
in China, It is now as purely commercial
as the Importation of tea. Ohina wants a
protective tariff.
It Is plain then that whatever the Brit
ish Government Is doing to ruin the Chin
ese with the opium traffic, China herself
is doing more. To denounce Britain for
the Government control of the traffic is
absurd. Only by control and regulation
could the purity of the product be as
sured and the natives of India be kept
from using it. The Government limits the
area to be planted .in poppy, collects the
flower from the grower and prepares It.
Then it is sold, at auction, for export to
China and other countries. From the
prices realised the Government subtracts
a substantial commission, and the re
mainder of the money Is handed over to
the licensed growers. Last year the
Government's share was something less
than $12,000,000. Year by, year the profit
has been decreasing, owing to the compe
tition in China, and now the Indian Gov
ernment declares that It can no longer
regard opium as a source of revenue upon
which Important calculations may be
based. Tear by year Increasing areas In
China are sown to poppy, and it is inevit
able that a time will come when the In
dian trade will . be automatically" ex
tinguished. Speaking in the House of Commons the
other day, Mr. Morley discussed the sub
ject as seen by "the official mind." He
showed the enthusiastic reformers that
the question was many sided, and that
a number of semi-lndopendent Indian
States were interested In the"trafflc. He
promised, however, that on the return
from China of Sir Ernest Satow a con
ference would be held and the feeling of
the Chinese Government ascertained. It
Is not unlikely that China will be released
from the opium clause In the Tlen-Tsin
treaty; but no one need suppose that the
smoking of opium in China will there
upon cease.
A FEW SQUIBS.
Employer "Whose funeral do you want
to attend?" Office Boy "De umpire's."
New York Sun.
"When did you first become acquainted
with your husband?" "The first time I
asked him for money after we were mar
ried." Life.
Naturally "I've lost my best pair of
trousers the ones that were made In Lon
don." "Never mind they'll turn up the
first day It rains." Cleveland Leader.
Saloonkeeper "Little girl, what la It? I
don't sell liquor to children." Little -Qlrl
"Have you sot any of this good-natured
alcohol? I want some of it for papa."
Chicago Daily News'.
Mrs. Muggins "Since Mrs. Newrlch's bus
band made all his money she has the doctor
continually." Mrs. Bugglns -"Yes, I hear
she is suffering from nervous prosperity."
Philadelphia Record.
Teacher "NoV. Robert, do you know what
an Isosceles triangle is?" Boy "Yes'm."
Teacher "Well, what Is it?" Boy ."It's
one uv dem t ings I gets licked fer not
knowln' wot it Is." Judge.
"Why don't you come out boldly for re
form?" "What's the use," asked Senator
Sorghum, "if your constituency won't back
you up? I'm willing to be a reformer, but
I'm no martyr." Washington Star. ,
"I tell yo,' Eben," said Aunt Mlrandy, as
she looked lovingly at the twins who were
gathering handfuls of wool from each oth
er's kinky heads on the sanded floor of the
cabin, "I heerd Misa 'Liza, a-readln' In the
g'ogfry yistiddy an I's 'bout 'elded waht
I'a gwlne ter name dem two young una,
I's gwlne call "era "Flora" and 'Fauna.' '
Macon Telegraph.
Trial by Jury.
Puck.
"And, gentlemen of the Jury, so say you
all?" Inquired the Judge of a certain Ar
kansas circuit, after the verdict had been
brought in.
"Well, the rest of us do, and I reckon I
brt to," responded the smallest and most
paltry-looking member of the assortment
of peers. "You see, I originally differed
with, or from which ever is proper the
rest of these yere gentlemen; but they
beat me all holler playin' checkers,
downed me at mumbletypeg and then
every one of 'em, when we wrestled, grab
holts, to see which side of the question
was right, th rowed me flat and set on
me. So, all things considered, and keepis"
to the agreement, I say, with the balance
of 'em, that the prisoner at the bar I
sorter forgit what bis name is is guilty
as charged."
ni'KT FOB ViltlAS - BABIES.
Each Must Be Slgraed tor Prior to July
25 or Lose Land.
Muskogee I. T.) Cor. St. Louis Globe-
Democrat.
Tarns Bixby is preparing to send men
into the field on horseback to round up
the Snake Indians and get their babies on
the rolls for final allotment. There are
in all of the nations about 6000 of the
recalcitrant Snakes. The majority of
them are in the Cherokee nation.
A Snake Indian is one who wants his
old tribal forms of government restored
and resists the allotment of lands. It
seems almost incredible that there can be
6000 Indians in the five nations who look
upon the situation in this way, but Mr.
Bixby stated today that he was confident
that there are that .many, and be would
not be at all surprised if there are 70).
It is the purpose of the Commissioner to
see that none of these Ignorant and stub
born Indians and their children suffer
property loss through neglect of the Gov
ernment to use all diligence in getting
them on the rolls and giving them the
best allotments that are left after the
more progressive Indians have selected
their lands.
The field men who will take horses and
ride into the bills after the Snakes will
have no easy task. Each one will be an
Indian, or at least able to speak the lan
guage. He will be a notary public and
must know enough law to know how
properly to fill out an application and
also to take any proof or evidence that
may be offered. And they will have to
work rapidly. The final closing of the
rolls will be July 25 and after that time
no man, woman or child, no matter how
just the cause or how good the - proof,
will be allowed to make application for
an allotment, even if he has lived on his
homestead in Indian territory for 60 years
and Is a full blood.
The horsemen for the Government will
ride into the full-blood settlements and do
their best to get the names of all babies
and enroll them. If, as before, the In
dians take to the woods and no one can
find them, their babies will not get allot
ments and the children will be robbed of
their only chance to get an education oi1 a
farm out of their Inherited tribal right.
POLITICAL. VIEWS IN OBEGOX.
Ah Editor's Gloomy View,
Lakeview Examiner.
If Oregon had a few more W, S, U'Rens,
and give them the free and unlimited use
of the initiative and referendum law,
there would be no need of a state legisla
ture unless it would be, in the end, to
swoop the whole conglomeration of
statutes Into the Willamette.
Normals Very Much Alive,
Woodburn Independent.
One of the surprises Is that the general
appropriation bill, referred to the people,
carried. Thie is good news for the normal
schools . Those who held claims must
have worked hard and gained through the
ignorance of a large number of voters.
The normal school push is not yet dead.
Money Question Pat to Bryan.
Woodburn Independent.
If Bryan has a drop of the same kind of
blood that courses in the veins of honest
Teddy Roosevelt he will, upon his return
from abroad, announce to a waiting public
his present views on the money question.
There must be no cowardly equivocation.
The American masses have been taught
by Roosevelt to expect open and above
board action and talk from a President or
one who expects to be one.
A Memory of Bad Times.
Fossil Journal.
Bryan's current Presidential boom
brings back to mind the good old Cleve
land days, when wool was next to free
(five cents the pound) and every man
could have a pair of patches on thebosom
of his pants that wanted to. Let us
hope the famous Nebraskan's boom will
be like Hearst's last boom, as character
istically described by Homer Davenport:
"One moment a blister on your hand big
as a ben egg, the next but a damp spot on
the hoe handle."
Derangement of Epitaphs.
Seattle Argus. "
The report was sent out from Tacoma
that "Mount Tacoma" was In eruption.
Inasmuch as Mount Rainier has been be
having with its customary quiet dignity
the people of the state are becoming
anxious to have Tacoma take that famous
mountain of hers out of the safe deposit
vault and put it on exhibition somewhere
so that we can all have a look at it.
His Jurisdiction,
New York Sun.
Benedict Arnold bad just betrayed West
Point. - .-
"I was trying," he exple-ined, "to pre
vent the premature celebration of the
Fourth of July."
Herewith certain lovers of quiet were
fain to overlook the peccadillo.
The Greeting.
Puck.
"Tick, tick," says the clock.
Up above me on the wall,
"Time is going, past recall.
Why let old friend Duty knock
And not open up the door?
Or has Duty called before
And been told te call again?
Must she ever knock in vain?"
"Tick, tick." "Yes, I hear.
But I'm busy now, you see
Go away, don't bother me;
Come around again next year
When I hsve more time to spare.
What? It's Chance that's knocking there ?
-ome right In; why, howdy do?
I've been long expecting you!"
I WANT SOME OF
- .
fc- y"t
f: -mm
LIFE VI THE OREGON COUNTRY.
Hard Luck.
Milton Eagle.
Charley Wells was a sufferer by the
high water to the extent of 12 acres of
watermelons. This will be sad news to
the lovers of that succulent vegetable
whep they think of all the good eating
that was lost.
Faying; Loral laduatry.
Wallula Gateway.
There has been quite a number of coy.
ote's progeny dug out of the ground re
cently, in fact, some of the natives have
secured as high as nine cubs in one bur
row, and as their scalps are worth $1
each, there is money in the biz.
"Corn Inn Events." .
' Albany Democrat.
There Is a current rumor that on Sat
urday, June 30, the last day under the re
cent vote for the saloons to do business
in Albany, there will be a crowd in town
from the surrounding country to help
drink up the surplus liqirbr on hand.
Poultry Note.
Sheridan -News Sun.
A few days ago a rather bashful young
woman went into a store carrying three
chickens. She inquired the price of chick
ens and at the same time put fhem on
the counter. The clerk didn't know the
chickens' feet were tied, and asked If
they would lay there. She bit her hand
kerchief and said: "No, sir; they are
roosters."
A Mere Joke, Probably, '
The Dalles Optimist.
It is said that Harvey Scott went into
a dentist's office recently to have a
molar yanked, and the dentist said: "Mr.
Scott, I'll have to give you gas." "Gas."
cried the great editor, "gas! Suffering
cornmeal! Can't I even have a tooth
jerked in this town without paying tribute
to those plutocrats?"
Autos Ban on Straw Road.
Dayton, Wash., Courier-Press.
On Saturday. June 16. M. D. Walters,
traveling salesman, lost his large automo
bile, which was consumed by fire while
on the road near Connell, Wash. The
road over which he was traveling had
recently been covered with a thick layer
of straw, which gathered under the ma
chine until It was compelled to stop. Be
fore it could be removed the straw ig
nited from the exhaust and the machine
was quickly burned It was a large ma
chine valued at $3000.
Portland's Steady Growth. v t
Albany Herald.
It is of Interest to Oregonlans that the
City of Portland is witnessing such a
construction period. Great business blocks
and beautiful residences are steadily tak
ing up lots that for years made only
for raw vacancy. To some extent these
conditions extend to interor Oregon.
Owners nd prospective Investors do well
to take into account these conditions.
Eugene Register.
While Stevens and Word are quarrel
ing over the sheriff's office, Portland will
keep right on building new skyscrapers
and the finest theater on- the coast.
Strange how this development business
keeps up!
"EsTtsge" In Corvallla,
Gazette.
There is promise of a full-sired lawsuit
between W. P. Lafferty and J. M. Por
ter over some five feet of land that was
a surplusage In the Hotel Corvallts block.
This surplusage was left, six inches on
the side of each lot, as eaveage when the
town was platted, and as none of those
who built had taken the eaveage due
them it had finally accumulated between
the properties of the above-named gen
tlemen. Mr. Porter and Mr. Lafferty have both
established claims to this surplusage
from their Individual point of view, and
the satisfaction of possession has been
shared by both. At present Mr. Porter
is enjoying an outing In a tent which is
hovering the "dead line."
Cooe County Strawberries.
Myrtle Point Enterprise.
Can you imagine a berry that would
not go to the bottom of an ordinary tea
cup, but remain suspended against the
sides? Myrtle Point has produced sucn
a berry.
Fourteen berries to a heaping quart box
Is what is shown in that measurement.
A case of 24 boxes running from H to
18 berries In the box. when you come to
the wholesale department.
Berries that measure from 6 to T Inches
In circumference quite the ordinary.
A single vine with 160 matured and ma
turing berries was seen and the count
taken by the writer, after many berries
had already been gathered from it, and
this was of the ordinary run of the patch,
selected at random. ,
Poultry Notes.
Woodburn Independent.
t
V
J. W. McGrath of Woodburn Route 1
has a hen egg measuring 7x6 inches.
Judge Hayes has a hen that furnishes
him with hard-shell eggs within hard
shell eggs. These Oregon chickens are
simply wonders,
Moro Observer.
Guy Hulse wanted to get rid of lice in
his chicken house- Wednesday. He built
a Are of straw to smoke them out. It
worked; the chicken lice are no mora
neither is the chicken house, roosts, nests
and all. Next time Guy says he will paint
the chicken house with carbollneum,
which can be had at The Observer Book
Store in quantity to suit. Though three
residences were threatened with fire by
changes of wind no serious damage was
done.
THAT IN A MUG
-From th St. Paul Ploneer-Presa.