8
THE MORNING OBEGONIAN, THURSDAY. MAY 17, 1906.
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PORTLAND. THTRSDAY, MAT IT. !.
A LETTER FROM MR. JONES.
A letter by John Aubrey Jones, print
ed today In another column, 1b one of
those productions which exasperate the
mind by their impudent violation of
every principle of logic, fairness and
truth. There are men with whom It Is
Impossible to reason because they can
not perceive the connection between
premise and conclusion. From Interest,
prejudice or conceit they first adopt
some opinion, and thenceforward until
the day of their death everything they
learn or Imagine is tortured to confirm
Jt. If a fact agrees with their. precon
ceived notions, very well; if It does not
agree, if It flatly contradicts, it Is all
the same. A man like Mr. Jones is ca
pable of twisting and contorting any
fact you please until It seems to his
own mind to prove any proposition
whatever. If he should by some chance
discover that water runs down bill, he
would at once conclude from It that the
moon is made of green cheese. Such men
cannot tell the truth, because truthful
ness Involves a certain Just apprecia
tion nf human mnHvai nf ranaa and
feet, of the relations among facts and
things. They prevaricate, not from any
particular love of falsehood, b.ut be
cause they cannot discern the difference
between fact and fiction. They are
sometimes harshly, but correctly, de
scribed as moral Idiots.
One might as well expect a monkey to
understand the binomial theorem as
that such a man will be fair either to
his neighbors or to characters in public
life. He cannot be fair. His own mind
being a chaotic Jumble of disconnected
notions where truth and logic have no
place or part, he inevitably Imagines
, that all other minds are similar. It Is
impossible for hLm to conceive of any
man acting from reasoned principle, for
he has no more Idea of principle than
he has of the fourth dimension of space.
His own sole motive for action being
low and selfish cunning, he ascribes the
same to all other men and can appre
hend nothing different or higher. It Is
only upon the supposition that Mr.
Jones Is a person of this type that his
extraordinary opinions of the President
become Intelligible. That a sane, nor
mally constituted) brain could cherish
them is out .of the question.
He asks The Oregonian to state spe
cifically who the plutocratic enemies of
the President are that have waged a
campaign to discredit him. We do so,
not' with any hope of enlightening Mr.
Jones, but for the sake of other readers
whom his delirious fancies might per
rtaps bewilder. Recall the outcry raised
by Tillman and others In the Senate
over the Mrs. Morris episode at about
the time when the Tate bill be
came a live issue; the farcical "Inves
tigation" by a Senate committee of the
Panama Onnal and the scandalous re
port of Poultney Bigelow, aimed direct
ly at the President: the Insulting way
In which the management of the rate
bill was entrusted by the railroad ring
to a notorious personal enemy of Mr.
Roosevelt: the persistent assaults upon
hi Integrity and Judgment by certain
plutocratic Eastern newspapers: the
outrageous attack which Standard Oil
made upon him when Mr. Garfield's re
cent report appeared; the Infamous ha
rangue of Chancellor Day, of Syracuse
University, who is known to be a ser
vile puppet of the plutocratic "system."
"We might recall other facts, but these
are sufficient. The corporation mag
nates and their organs and parasites
have asserted with wearisome persist
ency that tha country has lost confi
dence in the President; that he is a
man of -promise, but not of fulfillment;
that he attempts but never executes;
that he Is an Impulsive, headstrong,
babbling Imbecile. If this !s not an at
tempt to discredit 'Mr. Roosevelt, what
Is it? We have not the least doubt that
in Mr. Jones' case the campaign of slan
der has been successful and that his
misconceptions of Mr. Roosevelt are ex
actly what the plutocrats have desired
to implant In the mind of every cltlsen
of the country. That they have failed
in most instances only proves that the
great majority of Americans are more
Intelligent and falrmlnded than Mr.
Jones. It.certainly does not prove that
the attempt to mislead them has not
been made.
"Has not the President vehemently
defended Aldrlch, Standard Oil. and so
forth. In his muckrake speech?" Mr.
Jones asks. No. he has not; and if our
correspondent were a person of ordi
nary fairness and" Intelligence he would
not . ask such a question. In that
speech Mr. Roosevelt pointed out the
wrongfulness of slandering public men.
He defended nobody from Just and
truthful censhre. -Within a few days
after the speech was made he transmit
ted to the Senate Mr. Garfield's damn
ing report upon the outrageous mis
deed? of Standard Oil with caustic com
ment, and the Department of Justice
began action against the monopoly in
the courts. Does this look like defense?
Was it because the President had de
fended Standard- Oil that Chancellor
Day raved like a maniac against him
and shrieked that he ought to be im
peached? Is It the custom of Rockefel
ler's monopoly to deride and revile its
friends?
Our correspondent thinks the Presi
dent has capitulated to Aldrlch by- ac
cepting the Allison amendment to the
rate bill. In reply we need only say
that the Allison amendment leaves the
purport of the rate bill exactly as it
was when it came from the House of
Representatives. It makes no change
whatever in the meaning and Intent of
the bill, but simply puts Into plain lan
guage what was before left to neces
sary Implication. The purpose -of .the
amendment is to remove doubt and
avert controversy. It is in no -sense a
capitulation.
We confess that if we-believerd Mr.
Jones to be morally responsible, the lat
ter part of his letter-would astound us
by its depravity. What must be the
moral-state of a man who accounts for
every action of, others upon the worst
conceivable hypothesis? To him noth
ing Is good, nothing is noble. He is like
a swine nosing in fhe muck which de
nies that there are stars in heaven. He
first Imagines, absolutely without au
thority, that Mr. Roosevelt desires a
third term, and then interprets all that
the President does In the black fog of
that falsehood. Mr. Roosevelt has said
in the most decided language that he
does not desire and will not accept an
other nomination for the Presidency.
Who knows more about It, he himself
or Mr. Jones? And yet, with no evi
dence but his own disordered fancy, Mr.
Jones rushes blithely forward and con
victs the President of an infamous con
spiracy against the people who love and
trust him to obtain an honor which he
has declared he would not accept.
Would Mr. Roosevelt, unless he were -as
insane as our correspondent, exchange
the enduring love of the Nation and the
prospect of a grea,t name in history for
the transient and perfidious favor of a
plutocratic .ring with the inevitable in
famy which it would entail? We think
not. Though. Mr. Jones may not believe
it, there are such things as honor and
decency in the world, and Mr. Roosevelt
was not forgotten when the Almighty
distributed those qualities among men.
WHAT PORTLAND CAN DO.
. For long time Portland was regarded
everywhere as safe, solid, sane, stable
and slow. Everybody said Portland was
all right, for It had more money than It
needed, more bus'.ness than it could
well care for, and more mossbacks to
the square foot than any other city on
the Pacific Coast. Being rich, dignified,
contented and a trifle exclusive, Port
land was thought by many uninformed
persons who had chanced to cat their
lot with its somewhat envious neigh
bors to be Indifferent to modern meth
ods of promoting the common Interests
of a community, and to be satisfied to
plod along in an easy, untroubled and
unprogresslve way. But It was all a
mistake. Portland was always more
enterprising and public-spirited than
others thought it, and nearly as public
spirited and enterprising as It thought
itself. Within a very few years It has
shown that no city in the West can do
things In a large way more quickly,
more intelligently or more generously
than Portland. For example, Portland
raised In a few days nearly $400,000 for
the Lewis and Clark Exposition, and
carried the great project to a proud and
successful consummation. Portland has
Just raised $250,000 more than any other
Coast city for the suffering and desti
tute of San Francisco; and there were
no strings to this magnificent donation.
And now the Commercial Club of Port
land has Just raised $250,000 or raised it
so nearly, as to insure the small bal
ance for the erection of a -beautiful
new club building.
The Commercial Club recently suf
fered the complete destruction of Its
commodious quarters from fire. New
quarters were Immediately found, and
the members set about the task of car
rying on the work of the organization
with remarkable zeal and enthusiasm.
The misfortune of loss of the old place
was turned to splendid account In a
plan for a building and site that should
be entirely the club's own. After , the
preliminaries were arranged and volun
teer subscriptions had been made, com
mittees were appointed and the active
canvass began. This was only two days
since. Last night It was announced
that the $250,000 bonds had been sub
scribed, nearly to the full amount. The
small balance ie being reserved for club
members who have not yet put down
their names, to take In small amounts,
so that the bonds may be held by
everybody, large and small, who be
longs to the Commercial Club.
It is good work great work the kind
of work that shows the world that we
have a fine and active and progressive
cttisenship that is now running things
in Portland.
APPLE TREE PLANTING.
Missouri has the proud dtstinctkm-of
having more apple trees than any other
state In the Union. A rage, one might
almost say, for planting apple trees
took possession of the farmers of that
state some years ago. Apple trees do
not come into bearing as early in the
Middle West as they do on the Pacific
Coast, but the tree planters were not
discouraged by the matter of a few
years' waiting. They cultivated and
pruned and sprayed, and as a result of
their efforts the whole state, according,
to the Kansas City Post, was one
vast field of apple blossoms . on
the first of May, presaging an apple
crop the greatest ever known in any
area of its size in the world. '-
This is. of course, the estimate of a
loyal Missburian. but It is big with the
"promise of fulfillment. And It is as
true in Missouri as elsewhere that It
pays to raise apples, when intelligence
combines with labor and climatic con
ditions to produce , a crop. The or
chardlsts of Hood ' River, of Rogue
River Valley, and in many sections of
the Willamette Valley, have demon
strated this fact to their profit. Tet we
have here now,( and have had for sev
eral months, a market practically bare
of apples.
We cannot claim for Oregon, as the
journal above quoted claims for Mis
souri, that the apple will grow and
thrive and yield a good crop on any
soil and in any section of the state, but
we do know that no crop will pay or
has paid better in Oregon for the area
engaged and th labor employed, than
has the apple crop of w-hat is known as
the commercial orchard I. e., the or
chard -planted in a suitable location
with the view to shipping the product
by the carload. And it may be added
that no other portion of the farm of
eiual area contributes as much to the
pleasure, nourishment and health of the
farmer's family as does the apple or
chard, the trees of which are selected
so that there win be prime apples .for
home consumption for at least nine
months in the year.
"What plant, we in the apple tree?"
asked William Cullen Bryant in one of
his beautiful nature poems. Answering
in poetic strain, be said:
Fruits that shall awell in sunny June
And redden In the August noon.
And drop when gentle airs come by.
That fan the blue September akyr
While children come, with criea of glee.
And seek them when the fragrant grass
Betrays their bed to those who paaa
At the foot of the apple tree.
This is the result of apple-tree plant
ing which Imagination delights to paint
and which reflects the pleasures of
childhood upon after years. But the
practical side of it is scarcely less at
tractive though stated in prosaic words.
In these farmers are urged to plant a
few acres in well-selected apple-tree
stock, take care of the trees at proper
seasons, and in intelligent ways, and be
assured of an investment that, like a
mortgage, will grow while they sleep
and in the end make for material pros
perity. The one Is the poet's estimate
on the investment comprehended . in
apple-tree planting; the other is the es
timate of the man who is looking, as is
seemly, for material returns for his out
lay in time, labor and care. ; And he
who plants apple trees will find in the
result of his work a realization of both
the poet's dream and the practical
man's bold assurance of profit on the
Investment.
TILLMAN AND THE DISPENSARY.
Mr. Tillman's term in the United
States Senate expires next March. He
Is, of course, a candidate for re-election,
and' his success depends somewhat,
though' not entirely, upon the sentiment
of the people of South Carolina toward
the state dispensary system. This sys
tem makes the state the sole dealer in
Intoxicating drinks. It was adopted in
South Carolina in Mr. Tillman's second
term as Governor, some thirteen years
ago, and has been a fruitful cause of
controversy eyer since. He( has always
been its stanch defender, and says he
will make it the leading issue in his
campaign for the Senatorship.
The state liquor dispensary in South
Carolina does a business of . three or
four million dollars annually. It is con
ducted through a central establishment
at the capital and has saloons distrib
uted throughout the state, with distil
leries here and there as they seem to be
needed. The employes "are necessarily
numerous. It will therefore be easily
understood that the dispensary is a
powerful political factor in the state,
perhaps more important than any other,
and with a man of Mr. Tillman's abil
ity and ardor to lead in its defense it Is
not likely to be easily overthrown.
Nevertheless the forces against it are
not to be despised.
It is attacked by the prohibitionists
on moral grounds. Liquor selling in
their eyes is quite as bad when the
state carries it on as when it exists for
individual profit. Other citizens agree
with the prohibitionists in opposing the
dispensary, though for different rea
sons. The Charleston News and Cour
ier declares that it is a shame to the
state and that honesty, virtuous citi
zenship and common decency are all ar
rayed aga,inst It. A number of leading
citizens have united In a call to organ
ize the opposition to the dispensary,
which they describe as "pernicious." It
is a festering sore, they assert, and they
believe that it will. remain a paramount
issue in the politics of the state until it
is finally abolished.
From present appearances this will
not happen immediately. With a
strong political machine to fight its bat
tles, and. Senator Tillman for a leader
the dispensary will not die easily. The
people of South Carolina, so far as can
be discerned, are not particularly ex
cited over the issue. Most of the county
conventions have had nothing to say
about it, but as a good many of them
have adopted resolutions indorsing Mr.
Tillman's course in the Senate, one may
Infer a general friendliness to his poli
cies in state affairs. Perhaps the farm
ers and others of the ordinary sort do-j
not care much where their liquor comes
from, provided they "git it stiddy and
stout." Since South Carolina will have
a Democratic Senator in any case, and
without reference to his views on the
liquor business, one may wish Mr. Till
man success. He is a lively and pictur
esque figure whose absence would de
cidedly diminish the gayety of the Na
tion and poselbly impoverish the upper
house as a source of edification.
THE 8EA-LEVEL CANAL.
The Senate committee having charge
of Panama Canal legislation yesterday
voted in Javor of constructing a sea
level canal. As there was but one dis
senting vote, and the failure to reach
an earlier agreement has been a serious
and expensive drawback to the work,
it Is hardly probable that the friends of
the lock system will make any serious
interference with the sea-level plan.
There has never been any question
about the advantages of the sea-level
canal after it was built, and' all the op
position that has developed regarding it
has been based on the greater length of
time and increased cost necessary in
construction. The' lock canal, where
there is such a mighty traffic to be han
dled as will flow through this gateway
between the world's two greatest
oceans, is in a degree not dissimilar to
that railroad makeshift, the switchback
over which trains are operated pending
completion of a tunnel through the
mountain. It would serve well its pur
pose, but would never be regarded as
permanent and complete. Estimates
have varied regarding the difference in
time and cost between the two types of
canal, but five years is generally regard
ed as the maximum additional length of
time necessary to complete the type
adopted, as compared with the time re
quired for completing the lock type of
canal.
There has been considerable comment
over the loss of prestige which the Pan
ama route will suffer by reason of the
early operation of the Tehuantepec
route, but as this road will be open
and doing business years before any
type of canal will be in operation at
Panama, the additional time necessary
to complete the sea-level canal will
have but little bearing on this feature
of the-matter. The adoption of the sea
level type will, however, demand that
the Panama Railroad be operated to the
highest degree of efficiency during the
construction period. In order that as
much traffic as possible can be retained
by that route. It Is not alone necessary
that the road be operated so that the
Immense business attendant on the con
struction of the canal can be handledi,
but there should also be facilities and
equipment for the rapid handling of all
commercial business that is offering.
The cost of either type of canal will
be enormous-"so great, in fact, that It
must be handed on to posterity for set
tlement, and as posterity is to foot the
bills, or at least a portion of them, it is
perhaps best that we construct a canal
that will last for all time, and will not
require the expensive changes which
would be necessary to transform a lock
canal into one of the sea-level type. By
reaching a definite decision as to the
type of canal to be constructed, much
of the uncertainty and delay which has
hampered the work in the past will be
brushed aside, and public interest,
which has been permitted to lapse, will
be restored. For many months the en
tire canal problem has been in an ex
ceedingly complex stage, but practically
all of the various features of delay and
uncertainty hinged on the one great
question as to the type of canal to be
constructed. The enemies of the canal
were quite naturally willing to have the
matter drift along in a befuddled state,
as the indecision which has character
ized previous Senatorial action, has
been both expensive and demoralizing.
The greatest question to be considered
in connection with the canal having
been settled, there should now be some
speedy action on the. method of con
struction. Nothing In the news reports
that have come out of the canal zone
warrants the belief that the best results
are being secured by having the work
done under the direct superintendence
of the Government. Based on these reports.-
as well as on the experience of
the Government with the canal and
locks at the Cascades of the Columbia,
it seems certain that the work will be
greatly facilitated and more economic
ally handled by private contract. Hav
ing disposed of the greatest question at
issue in connection with the canal. Con
gress can now take up the manner in
-which the work is to be conducted and
the mode of government to be adopted
in the canal zone. The necessity for
the canal is as great as it ever was, and
the awakening of the Senate committee
may also awaken that public sentiment
which has been lying dormant, In keep
ing with the inactivity at Washington.
The Chicago wheat market took an
other turn upward yesterday, but the
strength on this side of the water finds
no reflection in Europe. This is due to
the plentiful supplies which Europe is
receiving from Russia and the Argen
tine, the former country being an espe
cially dangerous factor against high
prices. Russian exports have more
than doubled la five years, and the crop
continues to Increase at a rate that
causes wonderment In the trade as to
when the limit will be reached. The
wheat harvest in Russia occurs at prac
tically the same time of year as that of
the United States, and now, at the tail
end of the season, Russia is still ship
ping about 3,000.000 bushels per week,
which, with a like amount from, the
Argentine, now nearlng the height
of its shipping strength, goes a
long ways toward meeting the immedi
ate requirements of the European
bread-eaters. If the Russian crop,
which begins coming on the market
within the next sixty days, maintains
its present good condition, it will be a
matter of indifference to the Europeans
what prices may prevail In the United
States.
One George Seabury Is reported to
have been "vigorously applauded" by
the National Association of Manufac
turers when he m9.de the assertion that,
after a thorough study of the situation,
he was satisfied that exports from the
United States would be more than
doubled when this country "has an ade
quate merchant marine, like that of
Great Britain and Germany." Ameri
can exporters already enjoy the advan
tage of cheap freights to all parts of
the world, and to some ports notably
South America we have lower rates
than are granted British manufactur
ers,, a condition which . has been the
subject of more than one Parliamentary
investigation and protest. Even admit
ting that such was not the case, Mr.
Seabury has not improved his argument
for a subsidy bill, for Great Britain and
Germany pay no subsidies to the vessels
which carry their exports to the world's
markets, and to be on even terms with
these countries we must first be given
permission to buy our ships as cheaply
as our competitors secure them.
The Washington Railroad Commis
sion has Just returned from a junket
to Cuba. Railroad Commissioners from
thirty-three states met in Washington,
D. C, in April, and after a four days'
session made a trip to the Florida sea
side resorts and to Havana. The sec
retary, of the commission has written a
very Interesting account of the trip, in
which he tells of visiting the spot where
Columbus said mass, where De Soto's
wife awaitect the return of her hus
band, and where Lopez and other patrir
ots were shot. If any of the horny-
handed sons of toil who foisted the
Railroad Commission on the State of
Washington has ever entertained any
doubt as to getting the worth of his
money out of that $75,000 appropriation
for the commission, it will surely be
dissipated on reading the report, of the
secretary on the first grand, junket of
the commission. If the secretary's story
gets into general circulation in Oregon,
there will be renewed pressure for a
Railroad Commission in this state.
Manager Will J. Davis, of the ill
fated Iroquois Theater, Chicago, was
indicted for manslaughter last Tues
day, and Mrs. Cordelia Botkin. of San
Francisco, who poisoned Mrs. Dunning
with candy about eight years ago, be
gan to serve a life sentence at San
Quentin. What the bard said about the
law's delays applies "as well to the
twentieth century as to the sixteenth.
Studying Vesuvius with a view ulti
mately of being able to forecast earth
quakes is an interesting phase of scien
tific inquiry. Fifty years ago the civil
ized world would have said such inves
tigation was the pursuit of an irides
cent dream, but today we await results
without scoffing.
In undertaking to build and operate a
$1,500,000 tourist hotel at Tokio, Japan,
is one step in advance of its sister na
tions. Whether the enterprise will suc
ceed is doubtful; a good soldier does not
necessarily make a good landlord. The
inkeeper is born, not made.
If the Panama Canal Commission
shall succeed in establishing the tenta
tive policy of buying stuff in the cheap
est markets, perhaps a precedent will
be established for National reform in
the sacred tariff.
Portland seems to have rescued the
Pacific Coast League from disintegra
tion. Let the Beavers play the game
from this time on, and no fear need1 be
felt of lack of public support.
The church authorities beg to assure
Dr. Crapsey that it will be all right if
he will recant and teach that the spir
itual world is flat.
The Spring rise in our mountain
streams, though rapid as usual, scarce
ly keeps pace with the price of logs
which they float.
Sugar has declined three-quarters of
a cent. Good. That leaves so much
more to spend for strawberries.
A MOUSE HIS ONLY GAME.
Burroughs Denies Frealaeat Shot Mama
1st Yellowstone.
New York Sun.
For three years John Burroughs has
postponed the performance of a- duty he
owed to history the chronicling of his
excursion into the Yellowstone Park with
President Roosevelt in the Spring of 1903.
In the Atlantic Monthly for May Mr. Bur
roughs now tells the story of his camp
life with Mr. Roosevelt. It is worth
reading.
We note, in the first place, with consid
erable satisfaction, that Mr. Roosevelt
was scrupulous in his observance of the
law against the destruction of bird and
animal life in the Yellowstone Park.
Whatever werer his impulses and tempta
tions in the presence of big game, he
obeyed the law of the land as faithfully
as If he had not been protected from de
tection in wrong-doing by the exclusion
of the reporters, the surveillance of none
but a few carefully selected companions,
including Mr. Burroughs, and miles of re
moteness and hundreds of pickets cover
ing every possible route of approach. Mr.
Burroughs' testimony concerning this is
positive:
As we were riding along In our big sleigh
toward the Fountain Hotel, the President
suddenly Jumped out and. with his soft hat
as a shield to his hand, captured a mouse
that was running along over the ground near
us. He wanted It for Dr. Merrlam. on the
chance that It might be a new apecies. While
we all went flehing In the afternoon, the
President skinned his mouse and prepared
the pelt to be sent to Washington. It was
done as neatly aa a profeased taxidermist
would have done it. This was the only game
the President killed In the Park.
Not a single mountain lion; only one
Inconsiderable mouse, and that for strict
ly scientific purposes! While it is possible
that a great constitutional lawyer like
Mr. Tillman, of South Carolina, might
persuade himself that this mouse came
constructively under the prohibition of
section 4 of the act of 1894, Inasmuch as
Mr. Roosevelt could not have supposed
that it was a dangerous animal, about to
destroy human life, or to inflict physical
injury on any of the party, we do not
imagine that the President is in jeopardy
of impeachment for the killing and skin
ning of the Government's protected little
beast.
Much more interesting than this story
of the mouse is the North River natural
ist's record of his observations of the
President's demeanor when emancipated
from the restraint of conventional life.
The train would start and the President
would espy a little brown schoolhouse
near the track, with the schoolma'am and
her flock drawn up i-j line: '
We were at luncheon, but the President
caught a glimpse ahead through the window
and took in the situation. With napkin in
hand, be rushed out on the platform and
waved to them. "Those children," he said,
as he came back, "wanted to see the Presi
dent of the United States, and I could not
disappoint them. They may never have an
other chance."
Next, he would be entertaining his old
cowboy friends, "as'happy with them as a
schoolboy ever was In meeting old
chums." He "beamed with delight all
over," all along the line. He "bubbled
with laughter continually." In the park
ha gleefully chased little birds as they
flew from tree to tree. When he an.
Mr. Buroughs ran down a band of elk,
near Power Falls, "the President laughed
like a boy." One day he was shaving,
when a band of mountain sheep was re
ported in front of the camp:
One side of his face was half shaved and
the other lathered. Hofer and I started for
a point on the brink of the canon, where we
could have a better view.
"By Jove!" aaid the President, "I must
see that. The shaving can wait, and the
sheep won't." ...
So on he came, accoutred as he was coat
less, hatlesa, but not latherleas nor towel
leas. . . . .He laughed with delight of
it and quite forgot his need of a hat ,and
coat till I ent for them.
'
Mr. Burroughs' veracious pen is the first
to record, we believe, from the President's
own lips, the story of his encounter years
ago with a "bad man" in the barroom of
a little frontier hotel. As he entered the
room he saw that every man there had
been terrorized by a half-drunken ruffian,
who stood in the middle of the floor, re
volver in hand, compelling all comers to
treat:
"I went and sat down behind the stove."
said the President, "as far from him as I
could get, and hoped to escape hie notice.
The fact that I wore glasses, together with
my evident desire to avoid a fight, appar
ently gave him the Impression that I could
be imposed upon with impunity. He very
soon approached me, flourishing his two
guns, and ordered me to treat. I made no
.reply for gome moments, when the fellow
became so threatening that I saw something
had to be done. The crowd, mostly sheep
herders and small grangers, sat or stood
back against the wall, afraid to move. I
was nnarmed, and thought rapidly, saying:
Well, if I must. I must.' I got up as If to
walk around him to the bar; then, as I got
opposite him I wheeled and fetched him as
heavy a blow on the chin point as I could
strike. He went down like a steer before
the axe, firing both guns Into the ceiling as
he went. I Jumped on him, and, with my
knees on his chest, disarmed him in a
hurry. The crowd was then ready enough to
help me. and we hog-tied him and put him
in an outhouse." The President alludes to
this Incident in his "Ranch Life," but does
not give the details. It brings out his met
tle very distinctly.
Mr. Roosevelt once told Mr. Burroughs
that "all he cared about being President
was Just 'the big work.' " He raced Bur
roughs on skis over the deep snow banks:
As we were going swiftly down the side
of one of the hills. I saw out of the corner
of my eye the President taking a header into
the snow. The snow had given aw.ay be
neath him. and nothing could save him from
taking the plunge. I don't know whether I
called out. or only thought, something about
the downfall of the administration. At any
rate, the administration was down and
pretty well burled, but It was quickly on
Its feet again, shaking off the snow with a
boy's laughter. I kept straight on. and
very soon the laugh was on me. for the
treacherous snow sank beneath me. and I
took a header, too.
"Who is laughing now, Oom John?" called
out the President.
The spirit of the boy was In the air that
day about the canyon of the Yellowstone,
and the biggest boy of us all was President
Roosevelt.
Wheat Mother Strike.
Chicago Tribune.
All is In a flutter:
Parlor isn't swept:
Live on bread and butter
How the house is kept:
Breakfast: One stale waffle
That no one can like
This is simply awful;
Motbera on a strike!
Baby's In the cradle
Yelling like a fiend: '
Pot and pan and ladle
All wait to be cleaned;
Milk la in the bottle
Waiting till it sours
Mother's quit the throttle.
Struck for shorter hours.
Everything is dusty:
All the fires are out;
Knives and forks are rusty
Trash Is all about:
Children all need dressing
Where's the brush and comb?
Isn't this distressing?
Xo one runs the home.
Father's argumentative;
Mother won't reply
Says there's no incentive;
Bha won't sweep and frv;
Wash and drees and hustle
This was her remark
Cacriftcing muscle
From the dawn till dark.
Frowns on arbitration;
What are we to eat?
See our consternation!
Mother's smile is sweet:
She is bland and pleasant ;
She Is full of pluck.
Home is fierce at present
ilother's gone aad struck!
YOUNGEST MAN AT CAPITAL
vlncle Joe" ran May the Gam toe
Some Time to Come.
New York Evening Sun.
Speak to "Joe" Cannon about Cannon
for President in 1908 and he pooh-poohs
the notion: talks about his antiquity, and
modestly avers that, whatever else he
may be, he is no fool. Or words to that
effect. Such a Methuselah as he think of
having a boom? Preposterous, my boy.
preposterous. Meanwhile the inward eye
of this Danville younker must wink rap
Idly and happily.
The exuberant and almost excessive vi
tality of "Uncle Joe" is clear to every
body. He has no more nerves than a
Chinaman. The banging of the gavel is
low music to him. and a "field day" and
half riot in the House are as gentle mas
sage. There is no heartier eater, laugher
and story-teller In the world: and as -he
showed at his birthday party, he is a
competent handshaker.
In view of this notorious juvenility and
all-around soundness. Uncle Joe's inclina
tion to dwell upon his age is only more
evidence of his serpentlike wisdom. - A
candidate mustn't be too forward, and
above all mustn't be premature. "Uncle
Joe" marks himself hors de concours. out
of the running. If the delegates to the
next Republican National convention are
divided among a number of favorite sons,
what Is more natural than that they
should unite upon a general favorite ex
cept, perhaps, in New Mexico, Arisona.
Oklahoma and Indian Territory and lo!
"Joe" Cannon's name leads all the rest?
The congratulatory dispatch of the Hon.
Clark E. Carr, an Illinoisan who will come
to 70 years on May 20. is notice to "Uncle
Joe" that he is subject to the right of
eminent domain: that he Is not beyond the
age of conscription:
'No patriotic American can become so
old or so exalted as to disregard the man
date of the people when they call us."
"Uncle Joe" must be frightened by some
of the precedents. Thiers was elected
President of the French Republic at 74.
Bismarck's resignation at 75 was not for
old age. Grevy was re-elected President
of the French Republic at 78. Gladstone
was Premier for the third time at 77.
"Uncle Joe" is but a child as yet.
With the Ram In and Wit Oat.
Philadelphia Press.
Secretary Shaw tells this one: "Dur
ing the last National campaign an elo
quent orator was urging the people in
one of the Southern cities to support
the Democratic ticket. -Harry' Gass
away Davis, who was over 80 years old,
was considered a poor candidate, and
many of the spellbinders believe! that
the presence of Davis, who, although
an octogenarian, was still a man of
ability and would live out his term with
good Iuck, would have a salutary influ
ence on the voters. One of the auditors,
who had drunk more than his allow
ance of red eVe. almost broke up the
meeting by exclaiming: T am a pretty
good Democrat, but I can t vote for an
octogenarian, as no member of my fam
ily has yet voted for a man with negro
blood In his veins, and I'm not going
to do it now.
Wives Who Make Americana Great.
Philadelphia Dispatch.
Mary Mortimer Maxwell, the English
authoress, has just completed a clever se
ries of stories entitled "An Englishwoman
in New York." A recent number was de
voted to the comparison between the
American man of business and the Eng
llsh man of business. Miss Maxwell's
conclusion was: In England it is the man
who keeps abreast of the times and "who
does things that are really worth while,"
but in America the average man leaves
the things which are outside of his bus!
ness to his wife.
"If he has a wife or a fiancee he expects
her to do the reading for him. Tqe other
day I asked a man if lie had read any
history of the world. - '
" 'No,' he answered, .'but my wife Is
reading it.' "
I.ove Files Where Gold la Not.
Cincinnati Inquirer.
Because his "mansion," as described in
a matrimonial paper, turned out to be a
cabin. Miss McElheney, aged 18, of Bry
ant. Ind., Is said to have deserted Corbley
lams, a 60-year-old bachelor of Bluings,
Mont., within 30 hours after their mar
riage. The courtship preceding had been
conducted through a matrimonial ex
change. The young woman is said to
have returned to Indiana. lams Is very
Indignant. He says he sent the young
woman money with which to come to
Montana. Miss McElheney declared be-
gore leaving that she had been deceived
as to lams' worldly prospects.
Relic of the Aristocratic Paat.
Baltimore News.
The original commission- of Thomas
Lord Fairfax. Baron of Cameron, who
owned Greenway Court, in Clarke County,
and all the Northern Neck 'of Virginia
many years ago. has been found among
some relics and old documents bought by
Dr. Charles von Witt, a Winchester, Va.,
optician. It is elaborately engraved on
parchment, dated in England, April, 1738,
and is in a fair state of preservation.
Lord Fairfax's body lies under the altar
In "Christ Protestant Episcopal Church
In Winchester. ,
state of Ohio Owns a Dog;.
Exchange.
The State of Ohio is the owner of a dog
In New Bremen. Angjalze County. The
dog's name is Ourly, and is supposed to
be the property of Jim Doyle, whose place
of abode is on a canal boat. The Asses
sors were Instructed by the County Audi
tor to charge all canines to the property
in which they are found- Since the Doyle
homestead is on state property, the local
Assessor saw no other way out and listed
the dog as" the property of the Buckeye
State.
ON THE ANXIOUS BENCH
w l - lip .v3&
LIFE IN THE OREGON COUNTRY.
W114 Pigeons in Llasu
Brownsville Times.
A good many wild ptgoons are being
killed In the wheat fields around town.
They are more plentiful than for a
number of years.
Happy In Its Payroll.
The bustling town of Ontario, on the
far side of the state, is rejoicing over
a brick factory that will add $700 a
month to the payroll. It is the pay
rolls that count.
Alaa, Poor Maggie
Joseph Herald.
Maud Dale, while on her way to
Chlco Friday, had the misfortune to
be thrown from her horse. She broke
seven bones and half killed Maggie
Jones in tne shade of the stately pine
tree.
Oregoa Country Kewsanperw.
C. D. Ball has suspended the Mount
Tacoma Pennant and established the
South Tacoma Press.
Starvation is no longer staring ye
editor in the face we have fresh veg
etables and weeds in our own garden.
Kelso Journal.
Jackson County has a new paper
the Central Point Herald, by Lancaster
& Tattison. Mr. Pattison being editor.
It looks good and sounds good.
"Drammer In Jackson County.
Medford Tribune.
Beeson's "Uncle Tom's Cabin" Troupe
appeared before a small audience nt
Davis' Opcra-House Saturday night,
and if toe people had known what
was in store for them the number
would have been less. It certainly was
fierce, and the only ones that got any
enjoyment out of It were some girls In
the gallery who cried when Little Eva
went to heaven. The scenic represen
tation of the celestial regions, with
the red fire effects, looked more like
hell than heaven.
Not I he Horse for Him.
Astoria Herald.
Hans came In from his ranch two
miles this side of Olney this week to
buy a horse.
"I've got the very thing you want,"
said Ike Bergman, "it's a fine road
horse. Five years old, sound as a
quail, $175 cash down, and he goes
ten miles without stopping."
Hans threw his hands skyward.
"Not for me." he said, "not for me.
I wouldn't gif you 5 cents fc- him. I
live e,ight miles from Astoria und I'd
haf to walk back two miles."
Equine Longevity.
Dr. Young In Salem Statesman.
There Is a mare at Perrydale that
was 31 last Spring. Mr. Falkner, of
Sheridan, had her in his livery stable
for a number of years, afterward
traded lo a blacksmith at Perrydale
who bred her to a thoroughbred and
she now has a fine filly at her side. -
One mare I know of in The Dalles
is 37. She is owned by French & Co
bankers, and last March when I saw
her she made Mr. French a good driv
ing horse, and was without a blemish.
I dressed her mouth and found as
good a pair of molars as I ever saw
ini mare 8 years old.
Lane Coonty Wolf Story.
Cottage Grove, Western Oregon.
The Doak boys, T. M. and J. W.,
found a wolf den at Stony Point on
the Dave Coleman place, three miles
north of Lorane postoffice on Siuslaw.
The young men needed help for the
capture and got Scott Jackson. The
hunters opened the entrance to the
cave with a blast of powder suffi
ciently large to allow the entrance of
a man. Scott crawled into the cave and
soon saw two shining eyes. He called
for his gun and fired. The wolf ,n'a
wounded but not so badly but that she
made a rush for Jackson. He beat her
off and got another shot. That laid her
low with the two whelps that had been
killed by the first shot. He captured
the remaining whelps, three In num
ber. These are snapping tilings and
wsill probably have to die before they
get large enough to eat poultry and
mutton.
Know Belter Neat Time.
Baker Democrat.
Yesterday afternoon George W. Ash
by secured a license at the Courthouse
to wed Mrs. Ida Reed. A little later
they appeared before Judge Currey
and the legal knot was tied. The
bridegroom was about the limit as to
bashfulness and was taking his de
parture without having so much as
said "Thank you," to the Judge. His
Honor went down into his stomach
for a remark to the effect that some
thing had been forgotten. The groom
looked up, stuttered a few words and
then remarked: "Oh, yes, the treats!"
And then he reached in his pocket for
a lone cigar which finds favor out in
Pine Valley. Tom Gorman, who offi
ciated as best man, smiled, used a few
adjectives and told the groom to pay
the man. Quickly was Mr. Ashby's
purse out and as he fumbled with its
contents, took the pains to remark be
was rot nervous. He proved to be
quite the contrary, however, as in ex
tracting a $5 bill he tore it completely
in ywo.
Who Wants to Be a Klngf
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
A millionaire who has an ambition to
be a monarch would do well to hid in
Lundy Island, at the entrance of Bristol
Channel, which is to be sold toward ths'
end of the year. It is three miles long
and one mile wide, and has been over
looked by the insatiable British empire.
It is no county, it pays no taxes, its own
er is a monarch In his little realm. And
all this splendid isolation within sight of
the shores of England!
Prom the PhUadelphia Record.