Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, December 20, 1905, Page 8, Image 8

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    THE MORNING OREGOXIAN, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 1905.
8
Entered at the Poetoffice at Portland, Or
al eecoad-daas matter.
SUBSCRIPTION BATES.
JKVARIAJ3LY IN" ADVANCE.
(By Hall or Express.)
Da.117 and Sunday, per year
Dally and Sunday, alx months.......
Dally and Sunday, three months....
Dally and Sunday, per month
Dally -without Sunday, per year
Dally without Sunday, six months...
Dally without Sunday, three months
Dally without Sunday, per month...
Sunday, per year............
..$9-00
.. 6.00
.. 2.53
.. .63
.. 7.50
...3.0
1-03
.. -63
.. 2.50
1.25
cunaay, n. maxims. ............
Sunday, three months.........
BT CARRIER.
"Dally without Sunday, per week.. .... -13
Dally, per week. Sunday Included
THE WEEKLY OKEGOXIAU.
(Issued Every Thursday.)
Weekly, per year
Weekly, six months - '
Weekly, three mouths - au
HOW TO REMIT Send postofflce money
order, express order or personal check on
your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency
are at the sender's risk.
EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE.
The 6. C. Beckwith Special Atfacy New
York, rooms 43-60, Tribune building. tw
cago, rooms 510-512 Tribune building.
KEPT OX SALE.
Chicago Auditorium Annex. Postofflce
News Co., 176 Dearborn street.
Dearer Hamilton & Kendrick, 806-01-Sevcnteenth
street; Pratt Book Store. 1214
.Fifteenth street.
Goldfleld, Xer. Guy Marsh.
Kaaww City, Mo, Ricksecker Clear Co
Ninth and Walnut.
Ix Aageles B. E. Amos, manager seven
treet wagont , .
5I?BBrapoil M. J. E-avanauch, 50 S. Thlra.
Clevelaad, O. James Pushaw, 307 Superior
street.
New York City I. Jones & Co.. Astor
Houe. .
Oakland, CaL W. H. Johnston, Fourteenth
and Franklin etreet.
Ogdes Goddard & Harrop; D. I Boyle.
nnniin Tiflrk&low Bro.. 1012 Farnam;
-r .v. c.x.nv fn 1308 Farnam: 246
South 14th.
Sacramento, CaL Sacramento News Co.,
439 ft Ktreet.
Salt Lake Salt lAke Kews Co., 77 West
Second street South: Levin. Miss I.
San Francisco J. K. Cooper & Co.. 746
Market street; Goldsmith Bros.. 236 Sutter
and Hotel St. Francis News Stand; I. E.
Lee, Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W. PltU.
1008 Market; Frank Scott, SO Ellis; N.
Wheatley Movable News Stand, corner Mar
ket and Kearney streets; nosier
iTArrv Krm Stand.
Washington, p. c. Ebbltt House, Pennsyl
vania avenue.
PORTLAND. WEDNESDAY. DEC. 20, 1903
irKARST AND JUS CONTEST.
Since the Court of Appeals of the
State of New York denies Hearst's re
quest for recount of the ballots cast in
iQt oiPciion in the City of New
York his representatives are to appeal
to the Legislature for an act requiring
The Court f Appeals, by a vote of
five Judges to two, decided that under
the law it had no power to oraer rc
Mn rtf thft ballots. Yet the two dis
senting Judges, using a logic that is ln
nn.hiP. wanted to know -why the law
requires safekeeping of the ballots for
six months, if there is never to e
recount.
Thwo is nobody who does not be
lieve that Hearst was elected and
out. The legislature mas-
take the action requested since the
Legislature is Republican in order
that the Tammany metnoas oi wuui
hoxlncr may be exposed to the world
And yet there is a Tammany ring
within the Republican party, that may
be able to defeat the petition and ln-
nuirv.
No one appears to less advantage in
this husiness not even McClellan
than Judge Alton B. Parker, recently
Democratic candidate for the presi
dencv. Judge Parker, when on the
bench, delivered an opinion directly
contrary to the position -which he takes
bs counsel for McClellan in this case
and the Court of Appeals, ln deciding
in favor of Parker as a lawyer, has
reversed an opinion delivered by Par
ker as a Judge. But Tammany in both
cases has won.
But, as a New York paper says. "Mc-
Clellan's lawyers have played directly
Into Hearst's hands. If the ballot
boxes remain sealed mysteries and Mc
Clellan is seated, a great many thou
sand New Yorkers will go on believing
that Hearst was cheated out of his
election. They will look upon him as a
defrauded, injured man. That Is Just
what he wants In his business. Noth
ing could be better for him. As Mayor
he Would be In a terrible quandary
His impossible campaign promises
would rise up at once to plague him,
You may be sure that "William Ran
dolph Hearst Is not grieving over the
decision of the Court of Appeals." But
he will make the most of It, as he has
a right to do. Yet the Legislature ma
reopen the whole business by ordering
a. recount. It ought to do so. Public
ity Is the sovereign remedy for all
wrongs.
MILITANT DEMOCRACY.
Referring again to the essay read
pome days ago by Lieutenant-Colonel
Pettlt, of the Eighth Infantry, at Gov
ernor's Island. New York, before the
Military Service Institution, on the effi
ciency of an army under democratic
institutions, it occurs to us to say an
other'word. Colonel Pettlt expressed
the opinion that democratic government
never can be very powerful In war.
-The very essence of military
strength," said Colonel Pettlt, "is 'one
man power.' the 6trong commander
whose wishes are paramount and must
be felt, to the lowest unit of the army."
A monarchy, he went on to say, is more
permanent, "and can therefore estab
lish a fixed military policy, so necessary
to the building up of an army." You
cannot get the most efficient soldier
ship, his argument runs, out of a de
mocracy not accustomed to obey. There
is -truth in the argument, and there is
error.
There is a machine soldiery, accus
tomed to obey; and in the hands of an
able commander, it may accomplish
great things. Its power of resistance,
its steadiness in supreme moments,
give it tremendous advantage; but it is
sure to lack the inspiration, the clan,
necessary for highest military achieve
ment. It was the French democracy,
under able leadership, that overran Eu
rope, a century ago. True, the supreme
leader directed all. His power of com
mand was absolute, but it was exerted
through the spirit of democracy. De
mocracy can use absolutism in war
with more effect than monarchy can
use it.
It is democracy that supplies the in
vincible spirit of an army. An army
must have leadership, of course, and
the leader must have absolute power.
"With the spirit of democracy behind
ah able military commander everything
may be done. The point, in rwly to
"Colonel Pettlt, is that democracy in war
does j?ot oppose "one-man power, but
wbeilt finds its leader. It uses that
power to the utmost, and obeys and
follows the leader more surely and de-
otedly than any monarchy Is obeyed
In emergency. either by the people or
by the aristocracy that surrounds It.
In other words, the most potent of all
forces is democracy. In Its fighting
mood. It takes to military discipline
naturally, because it is intelligent, and
It beats monarchy, oligarchy, .aristoc
racy, out of sight. In the use of the
necessary means and condltlCns of suc
cessful warfare. Hence "Worcester,
Yorktown, Valmy and AusterllU.
WHAT IK A ntOPER PENALTY?
The Sheriff of Benton County has
overhauled at Salem one John Fawver,
who abandoned his wife and four chil
dren near Monroe, a few days ago, taK
lng all of the family funds and the 19-
year-old daughter of a nelghobring
rancher with him. The fatner oi tne
deluded girl bore the Sheriff company
in his quest, with intent to take nis
folly-stricken daughter back to her
home. It was well that the pursuit was
successful. Not that the recreant hus
band and father is worth pursuing,
even upon the basis of a probable re
turn to the duty of supporting- ms wue
and children. He has left duty ana re
sponsibility too far behind to Justify
the hope that they will overtake aim,
even though the Sheriff has arrested his
fllchu But the common sense or de
cency that he has violated so flagrantly
will beippeased somewhat by tne in
fliction of such punishment upon him
as the law provides.
As to the deluded young woman, it is
charitable to hope that parental for
giveness will work in her the miracle
of reform. The chief objects or solici
tude in such a case, however, are the
deserted wife and children. If both of
fenders could toy some process be com
pelled to work ten hours a day every
day and turn over the wages earned to
the support of the cruelly wrongea
family until the children were able to
maintain themselves, restitution would
in a measure accompany penalty. It is
only in an ideal condition of society.
however, that penalty and restitution
go hand in hand, and such a. condition
would preclude the possibility in this
case by abrogating the first cause.
To come down to things practical, how
would it do to add the wife-deserter to
the list of disnatured creatures for
whom the whipping-post has been re
vived in this state?
THE UNAPPRECIATED.
The proper figure for the salary of a-
life Insurance official has of late grave
ly occupied the tongues of Congress'
men and the pens of editors, itepre
sentatlve Landls in particular improves
the theme for the promotion of frugal
ity and Justice. The salaries paid of
late to these ornamental and sumptu
OU9 f unctionaries "are in the main dis
honest," Mr. Landls declares, though he
does not say why he thinks so. He
leaves the reader to piece out the rea
soning- lor himself, probably from ex
cessive modesty, since beyond a doubt
it ran in this wise:
Behold mi1, Frederick Landls. fre4y chown
by the enllchtened votes or some 20(1.000 In
dlana freemen to participate with equal velce
In making the law Tor the greatest common
wealth on earth. For this service. Inestimable
to the human race. I am paid a pitiful $5000
a year, while McCurdy In the days ef his
sterile efflorescence .got II W00. thirty times
as much. Was McCurdy with all his philan
thropy fairly wiulvalcnt to thirty Oonpreaa
men? No, he was not.
Thus Mr. Landls mentally thunders.
Rating Congressmen at their "lowest
and McCurdy at his highest conceiva
ble value, the validity of fhe logic of
the Indiana moralist Is unimpeachable.
One might even venture to point its
cogency with another comparison or
two. The Reverend Newell Dwlght HU
Us, for example, may possibly receive
$10,000 a year, almost exactly the same
as Rockefeller's Income for- one hour.
Now there are, roundly speaking, 8760
hours In a year, so that the olelferous
saint, if Incomes are fairly allotted,
must be equivalent In social and rellg-
ious value to almost 9000 HlUlses. We
thus begin to understand through
glass, darkly, why the church sets such
store by her lumlnlferous son. Unless
rmrt of his income is dishonest, he is
much more valuable than all the minis
ters in the country taken together, for
their united Incomes only foot up some
$75,000,000, while Rockefeller's is about
J90.000.000.
But Rockefeller is not an Insurance
official, and it was the social-value of
these precious vessels that .we were try
ing to estimate by comparison with
individuals" admitted to be useful in
other spheres. Take the case' of the
edifying Mr. Perkins. He probably ac
quired in his years of fatness not less
than an annual J100.000 from the Netv
York Life. This would make him more
than ten times as valuable-to mankind
as Dr. HIllls or President Eliot, of Har
vard, and a social asset worth tw
Roosevelts. Such results tend to con
firm Mr. Landls' opinion that men of
ihe Perkins and McCurdy breed recelv
more than their services are worth. "W
must apparently agree with him that
their salaries are "in the main dlshon
est," and it would vastly tend to seren
Ity of mind if one could believe that
Insurance officials -were the only class
of men in the world who are rewarded
out of all proportion to their deserts.
The fact-of the case Is. however, that
desert has lamentably little to do with
the distribution of the amenities an
sumptuosltlcs of this perplexing: sphere.
The work of the primary teacher is of
more fundamental worth to society
than that of any other person. She
gets JS00 a year, while the low-browed
son of a successful pirate draws his
annual half million merely for existing.
A great editor Avho marches in the van
of enlightenment and pioneers for lib
erty of thought may possibly earn 55000
salary; a railroad president receives ten
timps as much.
There Is no apparent fairness in the
apportionment of material blessings
among men. Each one's sharers In
proportion to his strength and-.-greed;
peldom has it any relation to the actual
value of his work. The highest service
is miserably underpaid. Those who la
bor at painful tasks earn scarcely
enough to live on and must endure con
tempt as well as misery. Had Repre
sentative -Landls desired to enlarge his
theme and Impeach the Justice of so
ciety to its benefactors and servants
alike, ne wouia nave icuna iacis wun
out number to justify him- in appear
ance. The reality is different.
There is. in fact, another .side to this
question. In so arranging: matters that
most of our labor of hand and brain
Inures to the benefit of a few individ
uals distinguished for utter worthless
ness, greed and dishonesty. Providence
seems at first fight to have been un
just, but when we look deeper Into the
matter we are amaxed to find here, as
everywhere, the unmistakable signs of
divine beneficence and wisdom. Ob-
serve how beautifully it works out. No
body denies that it is more bleseed to
'give than to receive Very weJL then.
The function of receiving is a sort of
sacrifice. Every time a man receives
instead of riving he denies himself a
possible blessing; and the more Perkins
and Rockefeller receive from ub the
more they enable us to enjoy the bless
edness of riving. Policy-holders there
fore should not execrate McCurdy and
Perkins, for they have contributed to
the spiritual welfare of millions of men.
Rockefeller's merit is still greater.
since. Instead of merely providing
ceaseless opportunity for his fellow
men to partake of the blessedness of
riving, he has often forced it upon
them. How often by careless observers.
like Representative Landls. men are
blamed for dishonesty when a candid
study of the facts would show them to
be self-sacrificing martyrs.
SR. SCHWERINS TROM1SES.
The discovery that Portland is a city
of some Importance and that It is Jn
need of better steamship faculties has
at last been made by Mr. Schwerln. of
the Harriman water lines. The recent
appropriations made by Mr. Harriman
for extensions and betterments of his
rail lines, and his announcement of a
determination to provide Oregon with
transportation facilities in keeping: with
the Importance of the state. Is now fol
lowed by a similar announcement re-
trardlnir water lines. Of course tne
modern, fast and large steamers tnat
are promised for the Portland and ban
Francisco run should have been nere a
few years earlier, or at the latest in
time to handle some of the immense
crowd of Eastern tourists last Summer,
many of whom were obliged to float
down to San Francisco on ancient mm
ber drochers or else forego the anticl
nated ocean voyage for which tney naa
paid. These steamers win also te too
late to handle any or tne immense
quantities of wheat and other feedstuff
that fls being shipped south in such
larre ouantities. but they may be here
by the,tlme California has another fam
ine year.
There is less cause for criticism oi
the Oriental line of the Harriman sys
tom within the past few weeks, for we
have been better supplied with Oriental
Rteamers than at any previous period in
the history of the port. Portland will
not be captious and endeavor to learn
whether this improvement In the ser
vice was due to the fact that wheat and
flour were being diverted to iTigei
ntind in wholesale quantities, thus de
priving the Harriman Tall lines of the
haul, or whether the increasea service
ivns riven us as a reward of merit.
Temporarily atSeast, we have a fairly
good service for the Orient, ana mere
are indications that the former efforts
to make everything pay tribute to San
Francisco are to be abandoned.
The Tiwmle of Portland will agree
with Mr. Schwerln that the wharves of
thU ltv- are not strictly up to date.
They will also unaerstana max. jhjuic .
th worst-appearing ones aiong ic
front would fly the house liag oi tne
Harriman system it there was a flag
staff from which to fly it. The news
that immediate steps will be taxen 10
improve these docks will be hailed with
genuine pleasure, secondary only to
that which will greet the appearance
of the up-to-date steamers on the Port-innrt-San
Francdsco run. Portland will
h much Dleased and relieved to learn
thnt Mr. Schwerln has abandoned the
old Huntlnctonlan policy nd will in
the future consider the requirements of
the port as well as the convenience oi
the company he represents, wis state
ments bear the impression or sincerity,
and as the Harriman water lines are
only the tall of the Harriman railroad
kite, there is every reason to Relieve
that Portland is at last to receive the
treatment to which she Is entitled.
There are great possibilities for de
velooment in both foreign and coast
wise traffic out of Portland,, and as a
larce share of this traffic generates in
territory reached by the rail lines of
ihe Harriman system, it would be dim
cult to pursue a policy of expansion In
one branch without the other sharing
in It. For that reason Mr. Schwerln;
promises will be given fully as much
consideration as have been accorded the
recent utterances of Mr. Harriman
Portland has much fn common with the
Uiirrimnn s-ftem of both rail and
water lines, and hopes Xo see both In
crease their facilities to the greatest
possible HmlL
THE TEACHER'S INADEQUATE WAGE.
Considering the fact that the mini
mum salary paid to teachers In the Ore
gon City public school Is but HQ and
the maximum (the City supennienu
cnt's) but S5 per month, the request for
an Increase of 20 per cent, lately made
bv the entire teaching force of that dis
ti-Ict. was not an unreasonable one.
Taxpayers, to whom the petition was
referred, however, dia noi ibkc mm
view of the matter, but conceded an In- j
crease of 10 per cent. The wonder is
not that the taxpayers of Oregon City :
decline to pay salaries adequate to the
simple needs of teachers, but that a
body of capable. Intelligent teachers
can be found who will work for such
.salaries.
A few months ago. scarcity of teach
ers for the schools of the state was
announced. The reason gU'en was that
the wages were so low that teachers
could not maintain themselves, let
alone prox'Ide for others, as very many
of them are called upon to do. These
wages were upon the basis of "hard
times": the living expenses had arisen
to the plane of prosperity, and the bal
ance was necessarily on the wrong side
of the ledger. The silent, all-powerful
law of supply and demand, however,
adjusted the matter, and. as Is it." wont
in any overcrowded vocation, the ver
dict was against the teachers. This Is
the only explanation possible of the fact
that teachers are working in the public
schools In as important and prosperous
a place as Oregon City for a monthly
wage of 50. It is not that the district
is too poor to pay a llvity? wage. No
such stigma of poverty in the midst of
plenty rests upon the people of Oregon
City, or of any other active Industrial
center or section of the state. The sim
ple fact is that the supply In quan
tity at least outruns the demand, and
teachers must work for what the tax
payers are willing to pay, in view of
the fact that they can get other teach
ers if these decline to serve.
Unless a large number of the young
women of Oregon who have chosen
teaching as a profession or vocation
reconsider the matter and take the ad
vice of Miss Snell, of the State Agri
cultural College, to get them to poul
try-raising, or to beekeeping, or to the
growing of small fruits, and thus re
lieve the congealed ranks of school
teachers, there does not seem to be any
hope for a general advance In teach
ers' salaries. On the contrary, thenost
that can be expected to result from the
plaint of inadequate wagea aad petition
for an advance -will be. now and then
-an Increase la the pay of those whose
request Is made effective by what is
known as a "palL"
tPollce Captain Bruin desires to pose
as a martyr to newspaper and political
persecution, and to achieve that pa
thetic role he biases it on the newspa
pers. At the Bruin Investigation yes
terday, under the careful coaching or
Tom Greene, lawyer, he made the state
ment that the newspapers had had
nothing to say about him until after
the Mllwaukie gambling-house raid.
The purpose of Greene and Bruin was,
of course, to show that thereupon the
hounds of investigation -were unleashed
and The Oregonlan and the City Coun
cil undertook to avenge themselves on
Mayor Lane and Captain Bruin for the
Milwaukic enterprise. It is surprising
that Greene and Brain would fabricate
a tale so silly and so easily refuted.
Bruin passed the Civil Service exam
ination on or before November 3. On
November The Oregonlan made pub
lic the details of the scheme to make
Bruin captain and inspector of police-
On November 5 Bruin was appointed
according to programme. On Novem
ber 6 The Qjegonian told about his ap
pointment. On November 10 The Ore
gonlan described at length how Bruin
had been railroaded into the Police De
partment, despite the Civil Service. The
Mllwaukie Club raid occurred Novem
ber 13 It would appear to be neccs
sary to say no more about so cheap an
effort to make capital for Bruin and to
Impugn the motives of the Council and
its investigating committee.
Rare good judgment is displayed by
John Bull when he airs the fighting
strength of his navy. The British Med
Iterranean and Channel squadrons.
comprising about sixty vessels, will
concentrate for maneuvers near the
Gulf of Cadiz In April. Of course the
fact that this will be about the time
when the Moroccan conference closes
has no special bearing on the massing
of these great fighting machines near
the disputed territory- Yet it is a sin
gular fact that the mere presence of a
big policeman twirling his club has had
the effect of preventing open conflict
between belligerent individuals who
otherwise might be Inclined to commit
assault and battery.
Imports of diamonds and other pre
cious gems for the year now ending
will reach a total value of $77,000,000,
breaking all previous records by more
than $11,000,000. 1he rank and file of
American people are more interested in
the Imports of food and wearing ap
parel than they are in the amount of
diamonds brought into the country. At
the same time the statistics are Inter
esting, showing, as they do, that there
is proportionately more money than
ever for purchase of the "unneces
saries" of life .
The American wheat market contin
ues to assert Its Independence of Liv
erpool and the rest of the world, and
yesterday, in the face of a heavy de
cline in Europe, the Chicago market
gained a full cent per bushel and closed
very strong at the high point of. the
day. This strength, following a dull
foreign -market and an Increase of over
4.OM.O00 bushels in the visible supply,
would Indicate that the position in this
country was not only unusually strong,
but also that the market has some sub
stantial support.
"What Senator Beveridge is trying to
do Is to make two states out of four
territories, which is a scheme perfectly
simple and unobjectionable In 'Itself.
But the politicians of the four terri
tories have figured out that there will
then be only four United States Sena
tors to elect. Instead of eight, two set-
of state officers instead of four, two
state capitals instead of four, and so
on. So they object: and that is really
about all there Is to their protest.
Certain gentlemen wno were in a
Portland lodging-house Sunday' night
with uncertain ladies, and were
"pulled" by the police so many of them
as could not get away out of windows
and down fire escapes minus sundry
necessary" garments are disposed to
question the right of the police to In
vade their privacy in this manner.
Why didn't they stand on their rights
at the time?
-Governor Wright showed the House
ways and means committee conclu
slvcly that the Philippine tariff on
sugar was a bad thing for the Filipinos
and for S0.000.000 American customers;
and Chairman Payne promptly an
nounced the hearing closed. There is
such a thing as finding out too mush.
The financial pathway of the amateur
dramatist is not always strewn with
favors. The man who dramatizpd "The
Conquest" Is being sued for 1216 deficit
in the returns for the stage production
of the play. He might write a sequel
to the play and name It "The Inquest.'
Since Representative Landls has
termed J. P. Morgan an "international
kleptomaniac" honors wpuld seem to
be fairly easy between him find Thomas
W. Lawson, whom Bourke Cockran a!
luded to as "the successful hero of a
hundred larcenies."
If great energy and untiring devotion
to the best Interests of a city are good
qualifications for a Mayor. Astoria is to
be congratulated in securing for a sue
cessor to the late Mayor Surprenant so
loyal and enterprising a citizen as Her
man Wise.
Mr. "La Follette ta not the only Ameri
can statesman, who hesitated between
the Governorship and the Senatorsblp.
With a difference. La Follette. as the
man said who was asked If he was mar
ried or single, enjoyed both conditions.
The Senate Isn't satisfied, quite, that
Burton is dishonest and a criminal, but
It Is trying to bear up cheerfully under
his abseqee. dt dissembles Its love for
Burton beautifully -while kicking him
downstairs.
The automobile has some advantages
over its predecessor, the bicycle. Near
ly all of Its victims are millionaires
unless some of the common people get
In the way of the death-dealing ma
chines.
The police think that Lawyer Ayle
worth, who reported a disastrous ex
perience with highwaymen. Is "fak
ing." Pcchaps. It is a great deal of
trouble to ran down criminals.
The Government will not build the
Seattle Canal; fet it has no objection
to Seattle deing it. Good Idea. Evl
gently Seattle feada't thought of It.
SILHOUETTES
Admitting that there Is such a thing as
the day of th r, that of the blood
thirsty Russian troops sttas to be over.
Senator Dolliver Is waving the olive I
Braneft and hopts to restore peace oe- i
tween the factions on, the raiiread-rate I
aueatlon. Dolliver should be warned of I
the peacemaker's fate. , I
Baiter declared on the floor of the Sen- 1
... ... i. fnr rfWhnnMt 1
Blr"- oc nt
ocpew. witn a merry twinjue m ma eye.
looked knowingly at Tom Piatt and his 1
left eyelid was observed to quiver slightly,
The President of Lara died yesterday.
I've no Idea where Lara is. but Infer that
It is one of the warring states which sur
round George Barr McCutcheon.
Kipling's story, The Man Who Was."
has been produced as a play In New York.
It's a pity Jimmy Hyde couldn't have
been secured to play the title role.
The Chicago brick trust was fined $13,003
yesterday for doing an Illegal business. It
is presumed that the goods they were selling-
-were IS karats, fine.
Just as If Russia wasn't supplying
enough casualties, Hoquiam and Monte
sano have started a county-seat fight.
About this time of year the sweet high-
, , . . -rnmyurL.viniinT I
Ma-r in -which to record her thrflllnic ex- I
nil iI2,.IfSnini vear
periences during the coming year.
SCODOi Kill lUlCSU ww-. i
A ' '
OHr Heroic Police.
SOU i-op. actj
that the brave Mr. Bruin
and those I
three big policemen are dragging along
the streetl "What has ha done:
Father "Do not look at him, my son.
The scoundrel haa been guilty of leav
ing his horse unhitched."
Ufe has its little inequalities. A poor
j xrnv r.vinii -sra elven
aei oer -. - 1
10 years in the penitentiary the other oay
for setting fire to a racket store . 1
meanwhile the esteemed iiessrs. micr
and McKinlev are enjoying life. Uherty
nnd th. mirsiilt of hapnlnew.
cr administration now I
starts a crurade against tne wickco v.xu.r
sloumacnine. wnue just ie u
wise citizen who wants nome aner
will engage a link-boy and a Jiu-jitsu j
wrestler to escort him through the j
.,nti.. f fnntrad. and murder artists. I
The Tale of the Haunted Flat.
Don't turn me down, stranger!
Don't gaze at me like that!
know I'm a-lookln seedy.
But remember I live in a flat:
In a house that Is horizontal.
A place In which breathing room
Is as scarce as It is In a corset;.
Where to onen vour mouth is a boon
And you haTe to take down the pictures I the original application for the annul
Every time you hang up your hat. meat of his divorce. Hummel was In-
t-very ume you " j dieted on that testimony. In the pro-
- ini thf, caoaule
My wife. Arabella, and I
A long year ago. come next Easter
I shall die. Little Egypt, shall die.
Unless we escape from these quarters
And find a more habitable- home.
Where we won't always burst out the
latch-string
Every time we give voice to a groan
Every time we give voice to a sroa-
Once my locks were a raven s blackness,
My wife's ebon tresses turned blonde;
Our life's been a purgatory
Since we signed up that flat-ownera
bond.
Now to make our sad lot more dis
tressing
Hear me out. stranger kind. It will pay
You to bear with my mournful digressing
While I tell you the tragical lay
This monstrous affair we exist in
Went wrong months ago. and today
It's a nightmare house, darksome and
frightful.
The abode of such horrid gnomes
That you cannot conceive of their ter
rors
For yours have been happier homes.
It's a "patent Inside" cintraption
Where the beds and the tables fold
Themselves Into secret panels.
.As In mystical castles of old.
The bath-tub. at rest. Is a sola.
The piano a clothes-press, and. say.
Every time someone rings the door-bell
The cuckoo-clock starts In to play.
For everything works with a button
And all the wires act the same way.
The gas fireplace Is a cupboard.
The bookcase a stand-up buffet.
Our armchair's a hot-water heater
And our dresser's an ice-chest we find
That everything In the blamed household
Is with some other torture combined
Well, sometimes the system starts going
All at once, morning, noon or at night
Do you wonder now why I am growing
Afraid of my life and wish that
The angel of death would come for us
And bear us away from that flat?
ARTHUR A. GREENE.
A Story About Davenport.
Anecdote by Jbhn Sharp Williams.
One week there blew Into town an artist If Captain Morse left 510.000 In Hum
named Homer Davenport, who used to I mel's office, that was the money that
lure statesmen Into posing for him. and
men proauce me Nmn uUSiy
tures of them In his paper. After he had
been here two or three days he had spread
such a panic that no statesman could be
induced to go anywhere near him.
Finding statesmen thus skittish, fDav-
enport resorted to. stratagem. He went
to Culberson and said he wanted a. like-
ness of me. Old "Dave" fell Into It with
spirit.
Tll enrage him in conversation." said
old "Dave," "and when I get him plumb
engrossed you sketch him unawares.
So they went hunting for me. and old
"Dave" started in to consult me and get
mr advice about something in the most
flattering way. As soon as we got fair-
ly Into it Davenport took up a position
to leeward and began to sketch. But he
didn't worry me any. I could see his
pad. and I saw that he was sketching old
"Dave.
When he was through he tipped the wink
to old "Dave." and Culberson shook
hands with me and went away, with his
shoulders shaking. Two days later he
gent for me. I came Into the lobby of the
hotel and found old "Dave" furious with
rage.
"Williams." he shouted, "look at what
this Infernal artist has done to me."
He had a paper there with the most
unholy, unrighteous, diabolical picture of
himself you ever saw. and he was leading
a pug dog by a string.
Think of that!" he shouted. "I don't
mind that picture of myself but who la
hades ever saw rae dragging a pug
dog. me me drag a. pug dog! And, Will
iams. he ain't got you in the picture at
alL
"Why. Judge." I said, "didn't you see
that he was drawing you and not me? I
saw that all along."
Old "Dave" gazed at e soTeaanly for
about a minute. X returned his gaze un
fllnchlngly. Then he laid his band on my
shoulder.
"John. he said, "come to the bar aad
have a drink. You're Initiated-'
STRANGE CASE OF ABE HUMMEL
Brooklyn Eagle. Dec. H. I
Abranara H. Huiarael. the most wide-
ly-Knewa criminal lawyer In New
lorK. is at the bar on trial for conspl-
racy, with two Indictments for subor-1
awon ui perjury in me oacKgrounu.
waiting tor the court or Appeals to I
pass upon their legal sufficiency. As I
may be guessed from the fact that the
jurors are locked up in the care or the
court every night, and from the re-
raarkable charge In court of the Dis-
made in HUrarael's Interest to kill the
ehIef wtneS(t aeainst him. the as la
one of tha most serious and one of the
strangest which ever went Into a New
j York Courthouse. For two years some
phase of the complex series of events
wnlch finally brought Hummel to tne
bar has been exploited In the newspa
pers. But the Incidents of the series
have been so many and so complicated
that few readers have more than the
haziest Idea as to what the relations
case were or why the lawyer should be I
nr, tt-lol fn. rk T .. T. rn'tl.9 lit. I
tie briefly: I
!!nnAt.ln- nr.r t-orn. i?r oe-n a man
named Dodge came here from Atlanta
and applied to the courts, through
Hummel. to have the divorce which his
iHf hari nh).it.. iin.t titm t I
nM Tii. imr-,v-iKr in thnt r.n.
rintii thnt Twta- ,n.i novoT- nwn I
served with notice In the divorce suit.
and was not represented at the hear-1
ing. On that supposed state of facts
Dodsre's aDDllcation was oranted. After
divorcing Dodge hi wife had married
r"nori.c w vnn. vt,7ti -,o "(ha I
. .w.ml. - I
Ice king." and the special friend of I
Mayor Van TVyck. Setting aside her l
,,,VfiV. nf mad her marrl
to Morse Illegal, and she at once took
steps to have her second marriage set
lrr . - ZT.Z: I "
tame au acciacoi wnicn revnucu "
rapt tnat uocisre naa sworn iaiseiv in 1
his application for annulment. In
cleaning up the office of a lawyer
named Ruger. after hi3 death, a record
was found among his papers which
showed that he appeared at the divorce
hearing as Dodge's lawyer, on Dodge's
retainer for that purpose. On that evl-
denco the decree setting aside the
n-fA rflvnr-p vni reversed and tile
Attorney's office began a
earch for Dodsre. In order to prosecute
him for perjury.
The next phase of the case Is perhaps
mat OC31 rememoeieu. xsuukc iiuu iu
Texas and detectives employed
' '
M,rnn horci,, Durlnsr tnat pursuit
mpi1p that somebodv was
spending money in very large sums to
keep Dodge out of the clutches of the
New York authorities. Dodge was no-
ioriuuao pour, ne wua ucLuuitiiuiicu i
his flight by some representative or
Hummel's office. Hummel was his coun
sel and it became apparent that the
money spent on him came through
Hummel, whatever the original source
of the supply might be. At length
Dodge was brought to Ncc York. Here
he threw himself .upon the mercy of
the District Attorney and testified to
the errand Jury that Hummel had In
duced him to swear falsely and to make
ceedlngs somewhere it came out that
the divorce had been agreed to by Mr.
and llrs. Dodge. They did not live hap
pily and she came to New York to sup
port herself, while Dodge stayed in
Georgia. Mrs. Dodge became house
keeper for Charles W. Morse. When she
wisnea to aivorce uuage mie cuu lu
Atlanta ana maae an arrangement, ojr
wnicn ne agreea 10 suppiy ner wim c-
iaence sumclent for a divorce in the
jjew York courts, to retain counsel
here and to matce tne aivorce reguiari
and legal. That agreement Dodge kept
and the marriage of Morse was legal.
until Mrs. Morse had it set aside arter
the annulment of her divorce from
.uouse oh ms peijmcu i.cavimwi.j.
So far the proceedings were sura -
ciently complex, .but the motive for all
this litigation was even more ooscuio
than the trail of Dodge through Texas.
Superficially it looked as if somebody
was making an attacK upon aiorse s
marriage with the Idea that he was
rich enousrh to buy off all objectors, nut
that, view clearly did not oDtain m tne
District Attorney's office. From that
source, the name of Mrs. Gelshenen was
injected Into the controversy. Gelshenen
was a bank president, very wealthy,
and an Intimate friend of Morse. After
his death Morse managed tne business
affairs of h.'s widow. The Implication
was sent broadcast that Morse wished
to marry me ricn irs. unaucncn uu
that he had Instigated the activity- of
Dodge and Hummel In attacking!
Morse's marrlatre to Mrr. Dodge. Then
enters "Captain Jim " Morse, an uncie
of Charles W. Morse, from Maine, also
rich by way or the ice business, iz 1 with Lane, has numbered dui nve. ana in
must have been an astonished District j eluded the' brilliant Ingalls and the highly;
Attorney s office wnen "Captain Jim'
appeared and told nls story there. In
brier it ?
children by his first marriage; that
Captain Jim was very rona or tnese
children and that he thought their
hmnlnnn rnuld he nromoted if the
itenmother could b driven out of the
family. Thereupon, knowing that Mrs.
Morse had been divorced, he came to
New York, retained Hummel to attack
tne marriage ot .irs. xjouge 10 worse
and paid him $10,000. The truth of that
statement of Captain Jim Morse's has
not been substantiated In court. He tojd
it 10 relieve Mianes . aiorac rum
the imputation of trying to get rid of
a poor wire m oraer to many a ricn
one, dui me uisinci uurncy s ouicc
has accepted it and acted upon it since.
- ' !
peurancc m thls city and his appllca-
tIon for the annulment of the divorce
1 on perjured testimony. It would not
I account for Dodge's sensational flight
through Texas because tnat must have
cost a good deal more than $10,000. But
the ImHctment and conviction of Dodge
I for perjury wuuld naturally involve
I his lawyers, so that more people than
I Captain Morse were Interested In kecp-
I ing hira out of the way.
That is the tangle of plot and coun-
ternlot which Is to be unraveled in the
trial of Hummel that began yesterday.
As said, lt is the post remarkable
case which "has been pken Into a Kew
York Courthouse for years.
Interceding With Sulzcr.
Washington Post.
If wc could "only get a good, hard grip
on the coat tails of the Hon. William Sul-
zer. with a first-class brace for our" feet.
we think we could keep him from invad
ing Russia and demanding the abdication
of the Caar. Of course, the expedient
would be strictly temporary In its nature.
Sooner or later. Sulzer must fulfill his
destiny, eradicate the Romanoff dynasty
and establish in Russia those enlightened
institutions of personal liberty which now
make downtown New York the envy of
progressive civilization throughout the
world. For the Immediate present, how
I ever, we should like to picket him out
somewhere until we can get this Russian
tangle straightened out and arrange a
really satisfactory programme.
Before and After.
Philadelphia. Ledger.
"Ob. George!" complained the young
wife. "It was nearly midnight before you
got home last ntght."
"Well. weH! exclaimed her nusband.
"yoa women are so Inconsistent. Before
we were married yea dWa't care how-late
, X. get home."
THE DIVINE SARAH'S TRIUMPIT
New York Sun.
It was a ?reat nlsht for theGaellc
contingent, native and foreign. The
tout Paris of Manhattan turned out at
the Lyric in full force and irave Mme.
Bernhardt a welcome worthy of Itself
and or her. There were manv fashion-
ables .in the audience, but as . whole-It
was far more popularly representative
than at the recent appearance of Re-
Jane, and far more demonstrative. Fre
quent outbursts from the gallery had
to be hissed down, and after the fourth
act the curtain sailed up again and
again, amid tumultuous applause.
For Bernhardt Is still the Bernhardt of
fFJ. f-. K?,Mhe
moves with the restrained and aubtlr in
sinuated force- of the tigress.
If time has put its impress on ner
masque its ravages have scarcely pro
ceeded beyond the power of poudre d
rls and rouge to repair. In repose her
lips have a touch of world weariness,
perhaps, but when they smile they re-
vive the old Infantile sweetness, blend-
" ,us aways wun me sorrow, wnicn
iS USO that Of 9. Child.
"tr vo,ce J tne same oia voice, ana
that is to Stty that It has the aCCCnt Of
Perennial youth and pass4on. In its
minor cadences it is still and languid.
" L ae ne langugrous aeptns
some tropical lagoon. In passages
' nannomous -tervor it has the puro
KQ,d of sunrise., flocked with crimson
?n "f11,?? a,n a"ra C-P"rpl 3t
" '' min
wel1- SuJly lt, can nl' the At oC
many. The triumph of Sarah the di-
vine can not be complete xintll the
wor,a Knows ner as tne ijiuian KUS-
. v - .
3e'' 01 -V, , , . .
Te ycle for her performance was
Sardou's "La Sorclore." familiar to the
merca,n public through Mrs. Patrick
Campbells recent performance. It is
morn SO. Xn men Entrllsh .tnr Mn
K , . 1 V. . . 7
' ' f
sages of Latin emotions. The vigor of
the old wucard of melodrama has abat
ed In It somewhat from the days of
"Fedora" and "Tosca" not a circum
stance to regret.
But his skill is still supreme, and is
"ot the least manifest in the manner
in which ho has adapted the scenes to
the latter day powers of his actress.
The first three acts make little or no
draft on her vitality, and the climax of
the fourth act, while skillfully con
structed to bring out the full gamut of
her best resources, is by no means long:
or arduous. Something perhaps of tho
lJSVSSZSl
effect of powers sustained was due to
The production was marred by a cer
tain raggedness in the scenery, and
some crudeness In the lighting. Or
was there an abstruse symbolism in
the fact that the play took place, for
the most part, under a blue moon? But
on such an occasion such details arc
negligible. The company was unusually
strong. The supernumeraries wero
good to look at. beautifully gowned
and creditably rehearsed.
HOODOO OF KANSAS SENATORS
Beginning in 1861, the Office Haa
Been Full of Tronble.
TOPEKA, Kan. "The"fatal succession"
Is the name Kansas has given to the
senatorshlp of which Joseph Ralph Bur
ton, the latest incumbent, is under con
viction of grafting. A dark-hued bird of
evil omen seems to watch over those who
take the seat first occupied by James II.
Lane.
The hoodoo started at the outset. In
j 1Kff, tr,nna wo ndmlttod a.
gtat0 and cnose two senator3, they tossed
a com tQ gee wh!ch shoujd get the short
np fQnr.v,ar. tprm. lt w.nt to Lane.
Ho se hg t wag re.eiected. and
coramjUed suicide.
w n Tn, nnnninfed tn snoreed him.
faJled to need the demand of Kansas for
tne jmpeachment of President Johnson,
j. yote saved tne President,. but Rosa
was defeated IOr re-election, cast aside.
1 ana now. nves a humme lite.
Ale-r.inder Caldwell took the nlace. held
1 it txen vps. and reslimed. it la said, to
avoid fizbtlne charges.
Robert Crozier was appointed ana
oUSted as soon as the Legislature met.
I james m. Harvey was elected and de-
1 feaed for renomination.
j piston B. Plumb was then chosen, was
1 r.te?ted twice, and died a tragic death
1 within a year after starting his tmra
j term.
I -r tv Perkins could hold the job after
appointment only until tho Legislature)
convened.
John Martin, his successor, held the)
pjaCe two years and dropped out of sight,
Luclcn Baker served his full term oC
I 8jx years, but was forced to withdraw.
from the race tor re-ciecuuu.
josenh RalDh Burton succeeded him.
nd before half his term was served was
I nniiir lall sentence.
1 The line of Kansas senators wno sue
I needed Pomeror. chosen simultaneously;
I esteemed "w. A. Harris.
Mr. Williams to Mr. Lamar.
(From report of House proceedings in New
1 iot. j.uu.
j Mr. Lamar referred to the aspiration oC
I Mr. Williams to ko to tne bcnaie, ana saia
that when he cot to that "great temple of
legislation" and the people of his state
came to call upon him, expecting to see
-worthy representative of their great-stata
1 n that xamous nan. mey wumu. uuu. umj
I the "Image of a shriveled ape.'
Mr. Williams replied briefly, and in refer-
j ring to Lamar's citation of his own family
connections, saia mac use nis uuun.-,
I atc l. Q. C. Lamar, he possessed a "su-
1 perb gotlsm." but the uncle was justmea
by the possession also of "a superb Intel
lect."
T wanted a team that would pull all to
gether," he said, "instead of a team that
pulled In every-direction at once. It is no
wonder that the party is represented in
the comic papers of the country as a
donkey."
During this exchange of courtesies ths
minority leader said: "I am reminded of
the care of the mlsldentifled body in tha
city. The sons, reading the description,
thought it was their father. They tele
graphed an undertaker to care for the
body, and started for the city themselves.
But when they saw the body the mouth
was open and the false teeth disclosed.
They knew It was. not their father, and
went away. So the undertaker said to ths
corpse:
" 'You blamed fool, If you had kept your
mouth shut you would have had a first
class funeral. "
Shouts of laughter greeted this from,
both sides of the House. It was especially
apt, because of the aspirations of Mr. La
mar to be elected to the Senate from hia
state, and because he had been assigned
to the committee on foreign affairs, which,
if he had made no fight, would have been
taken for a promotion.
The Careless Baggage-Smaslicr.
Smart Set,
"Here!" shouted tho depot official,
"what do you mean by throwing those
trunks around like that?"
The baggageman gasped In astonish
ment and several travelers pinched them
selves to make sure that It was real. Then
the official spoke again to the baggage
man. "Don't you see that you are making
big dents in this concrete platform?"
Even Bears Have to Rest.
Washington Star.
"Why do bears sleep through the Win
ter?" asked the boy. who is studying nat- ,
ural history. '
"Because." answered his father, "the
President does not go hunting then
They've got to sleep some JiBpe.'