THE MOBSIKG OREGONIAN, FTHDAW APRII, 17, 1903.
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PORTLAND, FIUQAY, APRIL 17, 1003.
A TALE OP DEPRAVITY.
No better compendium of tariff facts
and discussion has ever been Issued In
the United States than "Reciprocity,"
by Professors J. Laurence Laughlln, of
Chicago University, and H. Parker
"Willis, of Washington and Lee Univer
sity, published by the Baker & Tay
lor Company, New Tork. Its 600 pages
comprehend our recent tariff history.
Including the underjylng motives ot
antagonistic policies and interests, as
well as their expression In Congress and
public opinion. The general reader will
find here a mine of Information for his
Instruction, and there are few expert
students of the tariff problem who will
not find Incidental points at which
memory may be corrected and conclu
sions modified.
The Oregonlan thinks it can say with
truth and without vainglory that the
searching analysis of reciprocity con
tributed by the authors of this valu
able book corresponds closely to that
carried in ths discussions that have ap
peared, in these columns the past three
years. As to the inherent weakness of
reciprocity, as to the controlling mo
tives of forces Joined in the battle
over it, and as to Its certain failure
from the first, the reasoning and con
clusions of this book are more closely
parallel to The Oregonlan's treatment
of the subject than to any other me
dium of public opinion, we believe. In
the country.
It Is needless, therefore, for us to re
hearse the arguments of the book, for
with them our readers are already fa
miliar, but we would commend In the
heartiest possible way the records with
which the volume is furnished. These
Include not only copious extracts from
contemporaneous letters, speeches,
zriessnges, treaties and acts of Con
gress, but an exhaustive bibliography
occupying 30 pages on "reciprocity and
allied subjects" and 150 pages of formal
reciprocity treaties and statistics of
commerce for periods and articles af
fected in the discussion. There Is little
If anything that one needs to know
about the tariff question In the United
States for twenty years back which is
aot included In this book.
Ono noteworthy mystery which is
cleared up by Professors Laughlln
and "mills Is the sudden disappearance
from our tariff controversy of the
strenuous demand for reciprocity so re
cently made by various associations of
manufacturers. It seems but yesterday
that the air was vocal with Insistent
appeals for reciprocity in general and
specific treaties in particular on behalf
of great protected corporations which
desired to purchase markets abroad at
the expense of agricultural producers
at home. This agitation has suddenly
ceased, and it is interesting to learn
the reason.
This Is to be found in recent exten
sions of the trust principle. So long as
our domestic manufacturers found
themselves antagonized by rivals at
home, they turned to reciprocity as a
means of extending their markets.
Once an Industry was welded into
a trust, however, it became able to
maintain a uniform and monopolistic
price in the home market, sheltered by
the tariff, and further able to extend
Its sales abroad by the "export price
system." So long as excessive profits
could be assured on the first thousand
machines sold at home, for example,
the next and subsequent thousands,
made on the same pattern, could be
sold abroad at greatly reduced figures.
Tariff agitation of any sort grew dan
gerous. The manufacturers grew con
tent: the only arduous effort of self
interest for tariff modification failed,
and reciprocity's Inevitable death was
hastened by unnatural means. The
head nurse had Joined the poisoners.
We further commend this volume to
a skeptical world as a convincing dem
onstration In Christian fortitude. Pro
fessor Laughlln. at least, showed in
1SS6 that he could feel deeply and speak
vigorously. Tet throughout this vol
ume he restrains himself with Incred
ible patience. He placidly depicts the
programme agreed on when McKlnley
was to plead nobly for reciprocity, the
while the Republican leaders in Con
gress stabbed it in the back. He calm
ly rehearses the fact that the McKlnley
industrial commission, largely born
out of the tariff awakening, rendered
a report of nineteen volumes strong. In
which almost nothing was said about
tariff reform. He dwells with an ap
proach to fond tenderness upon the
exploit of the Republican Congress In
whooping It up for Cuba In the session
of 1B37-8 in order to obscure the fact
that an Administration elected on the
money issue had not the moral cour
age to touch R. He sets out In par
liamentary terms the -methods by which
our protected Interests operate: he ad
duces without show of passion the
Oxnard -Cutting assertion of 1899 that
beet sugar needs no tariff protection:
he adverts to the subservience of Con
gress to the protected corporations in
the euphemism that it ""has never been
.specially susceptible to ethical reason
ing."
In the light of this sublime exhibit
in patient resignation, under circum
stances which call loudly for profane, if
not obscene. language, we beg to pro
pose the names of Professor Laughlln
and his associate. Professor Willis, for
canonization; and, as a further mark
of our respect, we felicitate them upon
the atrocious proofreading with which
the volume Is dignified and ennobled.
It is bad enough to have to write so
melancholy a tale of human depravity:
no man of fine feeling could bring him
self to look at It again in type.
AS TO raUIT-CAAXIXG.
Mr. Wilbur K. Newell, of Duley, in
a brief communication published In
The Oregonlan -yesterday, makes some
very pertinent suggestions In regard to
fruit-canning In the Willamette Valley.
The adaptability of the .Evergreen
blackberry for this purpose seems to
be a matter of opinion, since Hon. Ben
ton KlUln spoke of It recently in terms
of unqualified praise, while Mr. Newell
considers It practically worthless for
this purpose, on account of Its poor
flavor and quality. It Is no doubt true
that, to be worthy of a place among our
commercial fruits, fresh or canned, this"
blackberry must be picked at least
every other day, as when overripe it is
insipid, even when eaten from the bush,
and most unsatisfactory as a table
fruit.
This matter'aslde, however, .when Mr.
Newell says that the canning of an in
ferior fruit by an inferior process
would be detrimental to the fruit-canning
industry In Oregon, he states what
Is the very truth. Frult-cannlng on
the farm Is all right for home consump
tion, and a small or even brisk local
trade might, under exceptionally favor
able circumstances, be built up by It
But the commercial product In the
wider sense must have a guarantee of
uniformity in quality lhat will be dif
ficult, If not Impossible, to secure In
the kitchens of a neighborhood, or in
a co-operative canning establishment
of the go-as-you-please order.
Frult-cannlng is more than an ordi
nary industry; it is a science, which
must be sttidfed and -worked out ac
cording to methods approved by expe
rience. The competition in this line is
sharp. The public has been led step
by step to a point where It demands
the best, and will be satisfied with noth
ing less. Dealers, seeing their opportu
nity, study to meet this demand, and
in so doing have made the firm name a
guarantee for quality. It is manifestly
out of the question for farm-canned
products, either in fruit or vegetables, '
to compete successfully with a trade
that Is built up carefully by experi
enced men upon commercial principles.
Mr. Newell states the case fairly and
succinctly when he says to the horticul
turists of Oregon: "Let us proceed
by growing the very best fruit possi
ble (and no country can grow better),
and then establish canneries on a com
mercial basis and put out a product
that will bring the highest' prices and
create a permanent and growing de
mand." He adds that neighborhood co
operative plants are practical if noth
ing better can be secured. This, of
course; would depend upon competent
management and responsible supervi
sion, by which alone uniform excellence
of the product could be secured.
A FUTILE ATTEMPT.
Police officers In a badly Infested
district of Baltimore have lately been
making crafty attempts to rid that sec
tion of fortune tellers and spiritualistic
mediums. One officer, in pursuit of this
object, has had his fortune told by eight
different and "perfectly reliable" medi
ums, he, of course, appearing for the
"sitting" each time in citizens' cloth
ing and as a diligent "seeker after
truth." He was told by one that his
mother would soon die. Inasmuch as
she had died some years ago, the truth
seeker bore this prediction with toler
able equanimity. Another predicted the
same fate for his wife, but, being a
single man, he did not purchase a weed
for his hat on the strength of this sor
rowful prediction. In the rounds, he
heard several spirit whispers of acci
dents about to befall htm. but as these
did not tally In kind, time or place, he
was not greatly disturbed. Letters
were seen on the way to him, but, as
he occasionally gets letters, his ex
pectations were not raised to any con
siderable pitch by this statement.
Finally he was told that a large sum
of money was soon coming to him by
inheritance, while a deed to some val
uable property would also be presented
to him. Taking an inventory of the
financial standing of his relatives and
immediate friends, the truth-seeker de
cided that he had heard enough, and,
returnlng to police headquarters, he
filed Information against each of the
fortune tellers, under the statute, as
"vagabond and disorderly."
There Is nothing new in this sort of
an attempt to protect credulous, but
earnest and conscientious, people
against fraud to which they are con
senting parties. There Is probably not
a city in the land that has not at some
time raised or attempted to raise Its
official hand against impostors who
traffic in the unknowable and enrich
themselves at the expense of the sor
rowing or those who are struggling
with domestic or business perplexities.
Gambling of all kinds has been found
very difficult to deal with, and prac
tically impossible to exterminate. The
reason Is obvious. Those who gamble,
either In money or "futures" using
this latter term In a broad sense are
willing and anxious to make the in
vestment, in the hope of satisfactory
returns. To protect them against them
selves Is practically impossible. Hence
they are not only an easy but a sure
prey ot the professionals Into whose
hands they fall. Laws tor their pro
tection are enacted In good faith, but
they are -manifestly Inoperative. This
Is not to say that such laws should not
be enacted. The community Is sup
posed to have a conscience, and It ac
knowledges a duty In this matter. For
these facts the law against gambling
and the attempt to interpose protection
between fortune tellers and their vic
tims stand, although the most (hat
they can do is to force cunning eva
sions, with now and then a squeal for
the return of money unlawfully secured
from the- not unwilling participant In
the game of fraud. Not by police In
tervention, nor yet by "act of Con
gress." can these things be gotten rid
of, but by elevating the standard of
personal responsibility .and the exer
cise of self-control.
A FLOATING SASITARICM.
With all of the proclaimed cures for
tuberculosis, the grisly fact remains
that there Is no diminution in cases of
consumption, nor Is the death rate from
this disease sensibly diminished. Pre
vention has been found practicable in
some Instances where prompt meas
ures. Involving money sufficient to
carry them out, have been taken, but
cure, when once the lung tissues have
become Infested by the bacillus of tu
berculosis, seems to be as far from
realization as ever. This fact does not
discourage scientists, however, but in
spires them, on the contrary, to re
newed effort. Medicines are not relied
upon as formerly in dealing with con
sumption. They have been largely sup
planted by treatment, of which at
present living in the open air is the
most dependable quality. Such hope
as attaches to the cure of this disease
hinges upon this treatment, and philan
thropy Is bending its most strenuous
and sympathetic effort toward the pro
vision of sanitariums constructed, for
this purpose.
Now It Is the cottage system for the
Isolation and fresh-air treatment of
consumptives in New York City, and
now the sanitarium plan Is carried out
In the pine barrens of North Carolina
and in the bracing hill atmosphere of
Pennsylvania. Again, the plateaus of
Colorado and New Mexico are chosen
as suitable locations for such institu
tions, and, latest of all, come two emi
nent German specialists. Doctors Mich
aels and Maurier, advocating floating
sanitariums as offering the best condi
tions possible for the arrest of con
sumption In Its lnclplency and its relief
In more advanced stages. Careful plans
have been prepared by an expert for a
sailing vessel for this purpose. The
object In selecting a craft of this type
(which, however, for emergency. Is to
be provided with machinery). Is to do
away with smoke, the pounding of ma
chinery and the odor of oily substances.
The district of the northeast trade
winds In Atlantic waters offers the best
and most favorable conditions for sail
ing such a vessel. The Canary Islands
have been chosen as the outward desti
nation of the trips, which would last
from two to four weeks. The climate
of this -district has all of the advan
tages required: the temperature, day
and night. Is about equal, and even the
July heats are tempered by the steady
northeast winds.
That such an arrangement would
give a season of relief to consumptive
patients cannot be doubted; that It
would effect a cure. If long enough con
tinued, in incipient cases. Is at least
probable. But that relatively few com
prising the pale host of sufferers from
this disease will ever be able to avail
themselves of such means Is certain.
Still, If a few lives can be saved and
the sufferings of others alleviated, the
effort la well worth the cost, as the In
ception of the plan Is worthy of pains
taking scientists. Its execution will be
the task of philanthropy, rendered
available, perhaps, through municipal
or National indorsement. Its unfold
ing will be eagerly scanned by an ap
prehensive as well as by a sympathetic
multitude.
POLYGAMY XOT ORTHODOX 3IOR
JIOXISM. The annual conference of the Reor
ganized Church of Latter-Day Saints,
now In session at Kansas City, Mo.,
condemns polygamy, declaring that the
Book of Mormon forbids the practice.
This declaration Is shown to be his
torically true by Joseph Smith,
president of the Reorganized Church
of Latter-Day Saints, the eldest son ot
the founder of the Mormon church.
The Reorganized Church of Latter-Day
Saints was established in 1ES1. in re
pudiation of Brlgham Young as the
promulgator of the false doctrine of
polygamy and the right to shed the
blood of apostates. Mr. Smith became
president ot the Reorganized Church of
Latter-Day Saints In I860. The Mor
mon church, as originally organized
by Its founder. Joseph Smith, flour
ished for fourteen years In New Tork,
Ohio, Missouri and. Illinois, always un
der legal enactments which forbade
polygamy or bigamy and punished any
infraction of monogamlc institutions.
The organic law of the Mormon church
provided that "one man should have
one wife, and one woman but one hus
band." This church rule was in force
unrepealed and without modification at
the time when Joseph Smith and his
brother. Hyrum Smith, were murdered
by an Illinois mob In June, 1S44.
The chief cause ot complaint against
the Mormons in Missouri was the fact
that the greater number of the mem
bership were from the East, and that
one declaration of their faith and be
lief was to the effect that It was wrong
for a man to hold his fellow-man In
slavery. At that time Missouri was a
slave state, and the anti-slavery tenets
of the Mormons brought them into po
litical dislike. Polygamy had no po
litical significance as a disturbing ele
ment, for It did not exist in the church
at that time. It was not until eight
years after the murder of Joseph and
Hyrum Smith that, in August, 1S52,
plural marriage or polygamy was pro
claimed as a part of the belief of that
portion of the original Mormon church
that had followed the lead of Brlgham
Young to Salt Lake. Thousands of
those who had been members of the
church before the murder of Joseph
Smith refused to accept the dogma and
the rule ot Brlgham Young connected
with it. Congress began to consider the
question of the suppression of polyg
amy In Utah in 1S66, but no effectual
law was passed at that time. Finally
the Edmunds blll was enacted, by
which polygamy was made a crime,
and an active prosecution began under
that law. Hundreds of polygamlsts, in
cluding leading men In the church, were
convicted and punished by fine and im
prisonment. .In 1890 a manifesto was Issued by
Acting President Woodruff, of the
Church of Utah, proclaiming an abol
ishment of polygamous marriages.
Upon the strength of this abandon
ment ot the practice of polygamy. Con
gress passed a bill by which Utah be
came a state, with the clause both in
the enabling act and In the constitu
tion of the state that polygamous mar
riages were forever prohibited. The
construction put upon the phrase
"polygamous marriages" left the ques
tion in such a condition that persons
who had married polygamous wives
were left to continue their connection
with those wives at the sufferance ot
a clause in the state regulations pun
ishing such associations as "unlawful
cohabitation." Under the Edmunds
bill, polygamy is made to mean sim
ply the act of marrying more than one
woman, and not the living with' more
than one woman at the same time as
wives, which Is the "plain and most di
rect construction given to the word
"polygamy."
The present condition of affairs to
day in Utah Is as follows: There are
a number of leading ministers and of
ficers of the church in Utah who are
living with more than one woman as
wives. They are punishable under the
state law only for unlawful cohabita
tion, and the penalty for such conduct
Is a fine so slight that some of these
men can easily pay the penalty as
often, as their Infraction ot the law
results In tangible evidence of their of
fense by the birth of offspring. Plural
marriages may be performed in the
temple in Utah without the officers ot
the courts obtaining any proofs of such
marriages. Persons may be married in
other places than Utah who may al
ready have wives In Utah, and. remov
ing within the state, may live with
two or more on the strength of "such
marriage without Involving themselves
or the church in a breach of the clause
which says: "Polygamous marriages
are forever prohibited."
President Joseph Smith recites these
facts concerning the present situation
in Utah and strongly advocates the
adoption of an amendment to the Con
stitution of the United States prohibit
ing the practice of polygamy or plural
marriage In the states or territories ot
the Union, This amendment needs to
be drawn so carefully by Its framers
that It will leave no loophole of escape
from obedience to its requirements as
was left in the Edmunds enabling act
by which Utah became a state, and
which has been perpetuated In the con
stitution under which she was admitted
Into the federation of states. This
amendment should be so drawn that
the plain and most obvious meaning
of the word "polygamy" should not fall
to be evident and as meaning the living
together with more than one woman as
wives, as Is now the condition In Utah.
Dr. Lorenz, who came over for the
purpose, yesterday removed the cast
from the leg of Lollta Armour, the
young daughter of J. Ogden Armour,
of Chicago. The limb had been con
fined In the cast since last October,
and, being released, was found to be In
perfect condition. The little patient
walked around the room for the first
time In her life, the doctor In close at
tendance and the parents happy spec
tators. Dr. Lorenz will remain with his
patient three or four weeks, at the
end of which time he hopes to report
a perfect and permanent cure. Great
wealth has seldom sown broadcast the
hope and cheer in the broad field of
humanity that it has scattered In this
Instance. Through its means, Mr. Ar
mour was able to secure services for
his crippled daughter that no man ot
moderate means could have secured.
Through these services, the way has
been opened to the treatment of other
unfortunate children afflicted as was this
daughter ot the Armours that would
otherwise have been Impossible. This
represents one of the side bequests of
wealth of which humanity Is occasion
ally the residuary legatee.
When women and girls are forced
out Into the wage-earning world, it Is
gratifying to the old-fashioned onlooker
when they find work at remunerative
wages. It is, however, distinctly to
the discredit of the men of any sec
tion, they being the natural wage
earners In civilized life, as the women
are the natural home-makers, when a
large number of home-makers engage
In an Industry that Is exacting and dis
agreeable and for which they are in
many ways unsulted. Hopplcklng Is
not objectionable in this way, unless
rain Is falling, since It is outdoor and
healthful work, and the season Is short.
But work In' a salmon cannery falls
distinctly under the head of that which
Is unsuitable for women,, and it is not
a matter of, congratulation, but quite
the reverse, that this class of labor Is
being extensively employed In this In
dustry. Of course, since these women
must work for wages, their right to
work In such a place Is unquestioned.
But they are to be pitied In that the
natural bread-winners of their families
permit necessity to drive them Into
such a vocation.
It Is Incredible that a woman with a
baby would, absent-mindedly or other
wise, gather up and carry away from
its fond owners a dog a' hairless
bodied dog at that the most Undogly
specimen in the whole catalogue ot ca
nine uselessness and unslghtllness. A
childless . woman wandering about In
search ot something upon which to be
stow her defrauded affections might
be guilty or this shocking breach of
taste and conscience, under the cover
of friendly dusk, but not a woman
wheeling a baby along the street on a
sunny Spring day. No, no! The "well
known hairless dog" that disappeared
from his home on the East Side the
other day must have strayed away.
Le,t the woman with a child in a baby
buggy who chanced to pass, the home
of the "hairless .dog" Just previous to
the creature's disappearance be exon
erated from the base imputation of
having stolen him.
The late Rev. Dr. William H. Mil
bum, the "blind preacher," was an elo
quent and popular lecturer In his prime,
and was a most remarkable illustra
tion of successful determination-to do
superior work in the world despite his
loss of sight. It Is true that the his
torian Prescott wrote most of his books
after he had lost his sight, and Postmaster-General
Buxton, of England,
was blind. Some men of eminent
genius as musical composers have been
blind. Philip Marston. an English poet,
was blind, and General Bray ton. the
political "boss" of Rhode Island, has
within the last year become blind.
The State Humane Society ot Mon
tana very properly protests against the
pardon of one John D. Smith, of that
state, who was convicted of causing the
death of his 8-year-old son by cru
elty. The boy, suffering from typhoid
fever, was banished to the woodshed,
where he died. A case of this kind
calls for the extreme penalty of the
law as provided for deliberate murder.
There would then be no chance for the
humanities to be shocked and Justice
Insulted by a petition for the pardon of
the criminal,
A remarkable event was the death at
Forest Grove a few days ago at the
same hour ot Cyrus Bacon, aged 80
years, and his wife, aged 70. Even kind
Nature seldom performs so tender an
act as this. An exponent of loneliness
In Its dreariest sense Is the aged hus
band or wife who long survives the
other.
VIEWS OF PROFESSOR DELITZSCH
To the later editions ot bis second lec
ture on "Babel una BlbeV which has
raised a commotion In Germany. . Pro
fessor Delltzsch has prefixed -an Intro
duction, "Zur klaerung." "to clear mat
ters up. in this he makes a confession
ot faith, which shows that he goes fur
ther In the destructive criticisms ot the
Old Testament than even in his lecture.
On the other hand, his final expressions
with regard to Christ seem to Justify
the Kaiser's criticism more than did the
Inferences drawn from one or two pas
sages in the lecture. Here Is a trans
lation of the new prefacet
who Is this that cometh from Edom. with
crimsoned sarin en ts from Boxrahr
This that la glorious In his apparel. msn-Mrig
In the greatness ot his strength.
L Jehovah, that speak In righteousness,
mighty to save."
Whereto art thou red la thine apparal and
tbjr garments ltxe him that treadeth Is the
wlnefatT
I have trodden the winepress alone; and of
the peoples there was no man with me.
"Tea. I trod them In mine angsr and trun
pled them la my fury.
"And their life blood Is sprinkled upom my
garments, and I nave stained all my raiment.
"For the day of vengeance waa'ln mine heart
and the year of my Redeemer Is come.
"And I looked and then was none to help,
and I wondered that there was none to uphold.
"Therefor mine own ana brought salvation
unto me; and my fury, it upheld me.
"And I trod down the peoples In mine anger,
and made them drunk with my fury.
"And I poured out their life blood on the
earth."
Surely, a genuine Bedouin battle-and-trlumph
song In Its language, style and
thought. Not at au. This saying from
Isaiah, lxiiL, Ut, with a hundred other
prophetic sayings full ot Implacable hat
red against the peoples round about,
against Edom and Moab, Assyria and
Babylon. Tyre and Egypt, usually mas
terpieces of Hebrew rhetoric. Is sup
posed to represent the ethical prophecy
of Israel, and that, too. In its higher
form.
These outbursts of political Jealousy,
arising out of definite conditions ot the
time, and of the passionate " hatred of
Ring-past generations, perhaps compre
hensible from a human "standpoint, are to
serve as a book of religion for guidance'
and edification to us also, children of the
30th -century after Christ, and to the
Western and christian nations, too.
Instead of meditating, "with thank
fulness admiring," God's workings In our
own people, from the Germanic origins
down to this day, out of Ignorance, In
difference or blindness, we continue to
ascribe to these ancient Israeli tic or
acles the quality of a "revelation," which
can hold Its ground neither In the light
ot science nor In that of religion or eth
ics. The deeper I penetrate the spirit of
the Old Testament prophetic writings,
the more terrified am I at Jehova, who
slays the peoples - with his Insatiable
sword of wrath; who has but one be
loved child, and on the other hand, de
livers up all other nations to darkness,
to shame and to destruction; who says
even to Abraham: "I wilt bless them that
bless thee, and curse him that curseth
thee."
I take my refuge In him who In his
life and death has taught: "Bless them
that curse you." and take shelter, full
of confidence and Joy and earnest striv
ing for moral perfection, in the God to
whom Jesus has taught us to pray, the
God who Is a loving and Just father to
all men on earth. s.
FRIED RICH DELITZSCH.
Administration's Greatest Triumphs,
New York Evening Post.
"The presentation of the law by Attorney-General
Knox and his assistant. Mr.
Beck, was extremely cogent. Their ar
gument was so arranged as not to strike
at other Interests, where It was possibla
to avoid them. The Government's case
was not handicapped by unnecessary
weight, and yet It omitted nothing es
sential to success on the main point of
dissolving the Illegal combination. The
law officers of the Government are to be
congratulated on a notable victory gained
against very able men. backed by a com
bination of railway capital In excess ot
1,000,000.000 the largest," perhaps, that the
world has ever seen. To President Roose
velt this is much the greatest success,
not merely accidental, that he has ever
gained. It was an accident that made
blm President, but It was no accident
that he directed the powers of the Gov
ernment into the channel which It took in
this Judicial proceeding. The United
States could alone take the initiative In
challenging the legal status of the North
ern Securities Company, and It lay In his
power to set the machinery In motion to
that end, or to withhold it. It is a mat
ter ot doubt whether the political bosses
who favored Mr. Roosevelt's nomination
as Vice-President In order to get rid of
him as Government of New York would
do their Job the same way again.
Paid Ills Burial Dill to Die Honest.
New Tork Telegram.
Death no longer has any terrors for
Sylvester Lent, of Morris. N. Y.. known
as the most honest man In the town.
He holds a receipt for his funeral ex
penses and Is now happy, for, he de
clares, he will be as honest dead as he
has been In life.
Though 90 years old, he is as sprightly
as a zaan of half his years, and expects
to round out a century. Mr. Lent has
worried not a little recently because of
the' fact that his funeral expenses would
be a debt against his estate.
He has always been noted for his pru
dence, which has resulted In making him
a man ot some wealth, and talked much
about the tact that It would take some
time for his executors to settle up the
estate, so that the undertaker might have
to wait for his money.
To obviate this Mr. Lent went to the
-village undertaker the other day and had
him make out a bill for all things neces
sary for a funeral, including a handsome
co Sin. burial robe and embalming. He
already had purchased a tombstone. Re
ceipted bills from the undertaker and
tombstone maker are now In his strong
box, and Mr. Lent says the rest of his
life can be spent in peace.
i : i t t
Albany Democrat.
As a reasoner. The Oregonlan overtops
an other periodicals, it says Mr. Her
mann was let out ot the Land Office at
Washington In order to elect him to Con
gress. Mr. Hermann was let out before
the death of Congressman Tongue be
cause he was at outs with the Adminis
tration. The Oregonlan, besides being
a great reasoner, is somewhat ot a liar.
O Soft Spring; Alrsl
Harriet Prescott SpoSTord.
Come up. come up. O soft Spring airs.
Com from your silver shining seas.
Where an day long you toss the wave
About the low and palm-plumed keys! -
Forsake the spicy lemon groves.
The balms and olives of the South.
And blow across the longing land
The breath ot your delicious mouth.
Come from thai almond bough you sUr,
Toe myrtle thicket where yon sigh;
Oh. leave the nightingale, for here
The roMn whistles 'far and nigh!
For here the violet in the wood
Thrills with the fullness you shall take.
And wrapped away from life and love.
The wild rose dreams and fain would wake.
For here in reed and rush and grass.
And tiptoe In the dusk and dew.
Each sod of the brown earth aspires
To meet the sun the sun and you I
Then came, O fresh Spring airs! Once more
Create the old delightful things.
And woo the froxen world agals
With hints of bra Ten upon roar wlngsl
WILL MAN BECOME OBSOLETE?
New York Sun. I
newspaper written by women with an
occasional little help from men by way
of variety. Is soon to appear. We are
magnanimous to hope that It win linger
long. What Is to be ought to be: and
mere man may as well try to make the
best cf It. The Chicago Tribune pub
lishes, with all too little appreciation of
. -I- mA ,n .,..! .. .1..
....... fJ.wir.lMW U ..V. ,B,V U, WWHIIfti
some statistics as to the occupations of
Chicago women. As we have predicted
with hopeless resignation, they can do
kl . . tVln. T-H (-1., -
and hammer with the same dexterity
witn wrucn tney use neeaie ana pen. Any
sort ot work they have not set their
nan as at is eiucr unaiiracuva to uea
r nas not occurred to mem.
Venus has driven her ugly husband from
tne. large. Chicago nas two xemaie
woodchoppers. "woodchopperesses." we
shall have to force our reluctant Hps to
say. v,nicago caa rwo lemaie stovemag-
i, lujuocriau . a. raiisiauy, .dul
k a. u.uvu. cm n I. n i. j , am a
town points with mingled prtda and alarm
to five women rirwt c,TH,r, A a vr ffc
Chicago women are more given to mortar
boards than to mortar. Our contempo
rary asserts that bollermaklng Is "beside
ujo uuuiuoni ot tee Chicago women.
Nothing Is beside or above those ambi
tions. TtAllerrnAVIno- I ao.arfT1.. ,.-
same trade as novelmaklng. a craft prae- I
oucceastuiiy Dy many or tne Cook
County fair.
If there aro no women soldiers, sailors
and marines, those soldiers and sailors.
wv. it .3 oecauae me x-eaerat government
Is behind the tlm nnt hjvfltita n a,,..
want of fitness of the women. A police-
u a soiaier. ana some women are
policewomen; and there are two Chicago
"boatwomen" It bsn-teru, -feat rt
cago women are coopers, coke and lime
uurncra, nsners. oysierers. miners, quar
rymen, wheelwrights. In about every
Other hualnPAa th,v e ,rli t r
.
at this Incomplete list of their employ-
Stoclaaitrt. herder and drivers.,. TS
Butchers sa
Draymen, hackmen and teamsters S8
Livery stable keepers....... a
Laborers ........ ........... ......... ,...14i4
Iperhaagers j
8awmlU and planing mill "emplcVes..".!Z 5
Engineers and firemen, stationary..- 8
, " . wi.Tn.u..cJ ................. o
Glassworkers 53
Iron and steelworkers . i$i
Plumbers, gas and steamfltters..... 3
Machinists 55
Architects, designers and draughtsmen.... S
- - ..... ... . )kj
Janitors and sextons S33
Watchmen. poUcemen and firemen. ....... 27
Undertakers ...... 1,
Bartenders ....... 23
Saloonkeepers 129
Commercial travelers . $7
Bankers and brokers 8
Officials ot banks and companies.. ...... 70
Dentists .............. ................. Ta
Journalists ..... . n-
Lawyers .. , gg
CIlrrvniMi ...
------- ------ ...........,. km
Physicians and surgeons .... . B4S
StiYZ ?a nairuressers.. ...-. 473
Photographers iu
Not Inn v n-n vnm.n wm
from almost all these occupations; and
mese are only a rew or many. When
and whera will thm "ij-mi ,-. i.
stopT Never and nowhere. The trouble
la only beginning. There are only three
wumau caoinetmaicers in Chicago; only
two woman distillers and rectifiers; two
woman brewers nnrl mitlri--
man potters, two woman brick and tile
out me men louts have due
warning. The women have sounded their
terrible flnnrntu-li m MFAn. -4
r r j nui ttUU
business now In the hands of, men. See
niwii oecomes 01 tne men m trades upon
Which the Trnm on
assault. Read the fatal figures:
In the list of bookkeepers and accountants
there Is one woman to every two men; of
stenographers and typewriter-, only lee men
are left tO the KMX wnm.n v , ...
the field and carried It off In their note books.
am oooxDinaers. taere are- 1813 women and
only 123J men. The paper-boxmakers number
1038 women, as aralnat 311 m.n . r., . . ...
era In schools and colleges there are 7200
women to omy lovi men.
What f written t f , n Ttrv.t 1
- . l. ... uu
happened will happen. The big smith
patting, his right biceps complacently
wubBuuu m out oi a joo. xr ne as handy
and good natured, perhaps Mlsa or Mrs.
will let him heln srtmir thn ihnn tt..
shoemaker can bite his nails and pegs In
oisgusi. iiis occupation's gone. Jump
oft that car, motorman; go home and
learn to rook unA rtr ht M,,tr,iin. .1
lullaby and take the twins to the 'park.
auur wue win dc tne onver or the elec
tric charger. Policeman that was. those
big whiskers will be convenient for baby
to play tug-of-war with. Go home before
tA . .
jwu. otuo juu away irom the
corner:
The Queen Is In the oSice,
Earning of the money;
The King Is in the nursery. '
Playing Jacks with Bonny.
fATl TirpftTT man will oah K 1 ,
J ... .- ... iwuu us- UU1.1UU1CU
of his little brief authority. He will be a
tii. o. lummcniary process, we can
hear Hiss Dr. Jenner-Hunter comparing
him to the vermiform appendix.
The Bible and the Schools.
Washington Post.
It is announced In a news dispatch from
San Francisco that State Attorney-General
Webb has rendered an official opin
ion declaring the use of the Bible In the
public schools of California to be uncon
stitutional. Not only may teachers not
use scriptures as text-books, but even
reading from them, as Is the custom fre
quently at the opening exercises, is
barred. Forty years ago an event like
that happening In any part of the country
would have created wild excitement. Now
the action of California's principal law
official will stir up few protests. It has
come to be generally accepted that under
the Constitution ot the United States,
which guarantees equal rights to all reli
gions and all shades of belief, the Bible
should not be read to the schools.
The Tariff Must Be Modified.
Rochester Herald.
The people understand that the very
principle under which protection of labor
by tariff Is urged presupposes and re
quires a readjustment ot tariff rates from
time to time to meet varying situations
and conditions. They might possibly be
disposed to assent to the general state
ment that it should be readjusted by Its
friends rather than by Its enemies, but
the voters of this land will not long allow
It to be used as a check to fair competi
tion as a mere monopolistic tool, and If its
friends will not modify It, then its ene
mies will be given an opportunity to do
so. And we have all heard ot the gentle
man who once cut off a dogs tall half an
Inch behind its ears.
An April Morning.
Eben E. Rexford, in Home and Flowers,
This morning when I woke I heard
The low, sweet chatter of a bird
Beside my window, where so long
I've missed the music of the song
That filled last Summer with delight.
And saw a sudden, arrowy flight
A fish ot blue that soars and sings
A bit of heaven itself on wings.
"The bluebird has come back!" I cried.
And flung the window open wide.
I leaned across the mossy sIlL
And heard the laughing little rill
That comes but once a year, and stays
Through-tie brltf round of April days.
Then, when its banks with bloom are bright.
It seems to vanish In a night.
The old Spring gladness Ailed the air.
I breathed It. felt It everywhere.
How blue the sky wast and a tint
Of color that was but a hint
Of "green things growing" greeted me
Along the willows by the lea.
And I could feel, and almost hear.
The quickened pulses of the year.
A warm south wind that seemed a draught
Of wine the-sweetest ever quaffed
Blew round me, bringing balmy smells
That made me dream of pimpernels.
And arbutus blooms In ptnewood nooks.
And gay wake-robins by the brooks.
And I waa happy as the bird
Whose heart with Spring's swift Joy was
sumo.
,' K0TE-AND COMMENT.
It didn't rain In Oakland yesterday.
More hard luck.
Maybe after all the Irish question will
be settled by Englishmen. -
Maybe we. could win If we could Induce
Oakland to play both Portland teams.
WeU. WhV Shouldn't A. ifLnirrt nnll-
tlcian make a raise out of baking powder?
The baking-powder murder Is out and
MUsouri. like Oregon, la ahy a Lieutenant-Governor.
You should snit. not exneetorate.
President Roosevelt. Gentlemen on mir
spittoonless street-cars will please N. B.
The mountain lions ehow the same ren-
rehene4ble diffidence about coming for
ward and being shot as the MIssIssIddI
bears.
The largest freight vessel In the world
was launched yesterday to ply on the
largest ocean on earth. She'll look bigger
when empty than when. loaded: so the
Puget Sound papers will still have some
thing to brag about.
It Is stated that one ot the local street
car managers observed a man with a
Panima hat on the other day, and imme
diately ordered out the open cars, think
ing that Summer had come. What the
street-car man saw was in all probabil
ity a white felt headgear, which he mis
took In the mist for. the straw variety.
The Rustler," published at Holt, Clay
County, Mo., announces the marriage of
a sister ot the editor, and accompanies it
with an editorial, surrounded with black
lines, beginning thus:
The bride Is a sister ot the editor of this ca
per and a well-educated, and, until this event
in ner career, a highly respected and esteemed
young lady
The groom U the son of a well-known dis
reputable character near here, and Is an all
around good-for-nothing fellow.
"How It can be possible," the editor
proceeds, "for one to drop from a high
planS socially, mentally and morally to
spend a life of poverty with the infamous
and depraved, is something we can only
wonder at, but cannot answer."
He takes himself very seriously, in
deed, for he says further:
It would have been, indeed, a pleasure com
pared to this, to hare stood beside her cofiln,
knowing that while she wsa lost, she was )ost
unstained. And to her family she Is com
pletely lost. Just as It there were written In the
family Bible, "Josephine Hockaday, died M4rch
31. 1803."
And the page ot mourning is closed
thus:
We are deeply grateful to our friends for
their kind expressions and sympathy, and on
behalf ot the entire family tender our grateful
appreciation.
The brother-in-law evidently hasn't
much etuff In him. There has been no
additional tragedy.
A Curb on Speech-Making;.
New York Mall and Express. '
It seems that the time has come when
Americans occupying public or quasi pub
lic positions ought to be relied upon If
not to act wisely on all occasions, at least
to refrain from talking foolishly when it
Is not necessary to talk at all. There
are too many speeches delivered In Con.
gress with the Idea of telling King, Kai
ser. Czar or foreign President that we
Americans have no use for any rulers
except our own particular brand. There
are too many impertinent resolutions is
suing from Legislatures or aldermanle
chambers Informing .outlancTTarllaments
that they are not treating their own
peoples as they should. We could spare
some of the grandiose newspaper calcu
lations as to the sort of havoc our vol
unteer soldiers would make of the con
scripts of the dual or triple alliance af
ter we had armed, equipped and trained
them. We could even spare a few of the
odious International comparisons as to ar
mament and military effectiveness ema
nating from those bluff old seadogs and
grizzled war veterans of ours men, to re
verse a famous line, ."who never did a
foolish thing and never said a wisdom."
The Fountain at Lstkewood.
New York World.
Whoever visits the country horn ot
George Gould at Lakewood admires the
beautiful new emblematic fountain Just
completed at the left of the house. It
is In the center of the sunken gardens
that Mr. Gould has been constructing for
several years, and when illuminated by
electricity at night makes a. mystical and
charming picture. The fountain cost C0.
000. and was designed by Architect Bush
Price, of -this city. The sculptor was
Massey G. Rhlnd. who made the fountain
at the State House at Hartford, Conn.
The bowl of the fountain Is SO feet In
diameter, and the heroic figure of Nep
tune is of bronze, while the horses and
nymphs are of white marble. Around the
figure are six large Jets of water that
spring into the air and flash In a dozen
different colors as they fall back upon the
figures. Next Bummer the fountain will
be still more beautiful because of the
aquatic plants that are being cultivated la
the pools about It.
Rapid and Good Firing.
Philadelphia Record.
The gun crews on our warships aro
doing some extraordinary accurate shoot
ing of late. On the Illinois, firing at a
stationary target while the vessel was
moving, a score of 12 hits out of 13 shots
was made with her 13-lnch guns at a
distance of five miles. The gunners of
the Iowa, steaming at 12 knots past a
stationary target, made 30 hits out ot
30 shots with 6-pounder rapid-fire guns.
This feat was accomplished by three gun
crews, each having 10 shots. It beats all
records. At San Francisco on Tuesday
the submarine torpedo boat Grampus dis
charged a torpedo at a range ot 3S0 yards
and struck a stationary target squarely
In the center. Anything like this ac
curacy of fire during a naval engage
mentwhen as a rule one shot In twenty
makes a bit would make the American
battle-ships the terror of the seas.
PLEASANTRIES OF PARAGRAPITEnS
"Madam, I caught your husband making lore
to my wife." "Oh, lovely! Then he hasn't for
gotten bowl" Life.
Wife (looking op from paper) What was
"Hobsoa's choice," anyway T Husband Mri.
Hobsos. I suppose. Chicago Dally News.
"And so Professor Gustavus has at last dis
covered the missing link! Where did he find
Itr' "Under the bureau, I understand." Bal
timore Kews.
She I noticed every time they cheered or
yelled the speaker took a long drink of water.
He Tes. he was trying to help them drown
his voice. Tonkers Statesman.
Mr. Mann My. but you're a fright la those
things. Where's the cook? Mrs. Mann Shi
Don't disturb her. She's taking her plana les
son In the parlor. Chelsea (Masa) Gasette.
The Maid What makes yon chew your mus
tache so. BeggleT Are you fond of discourage
ment; The Thing Discouragement awt The
Maid Tea: feeling down In the mouth, you
know. Harvard Lampoon.
Fumer Gee whlu! What sort of a cigar is
this! Giwer Oh! I bought it for a nlckeL I
don't Just recall the brand, but I think it was
named after soma bum actor. Fumer Ah I no
wonder It won't draw. Philadelphia Press.
Visitor Tea say yon call your horses Biscay
and Bengal. Aren't those decidedly unusual
names for horses T Farmer Ef the Joggrasea
hain't changed sence I got my schoolla'. them's
mlgbtly good names tor a pair o' big bays.
Baltimore American.
T always had suspicions of that man," said
Senator Sorghum, resentfully. To afraid ha
is willing to accept pecuniary considerations
for his Influence." "Worse than that- He al
ways wants three or four times as much as hla
Infiucnca is worth," Washington. Star,