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About The state Republican. (Eugene City, Or.) 1862-1863 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 1863)
rn jj PAN IMJl UJJiu 1 NO DEVOTED TO THE POLITICAL AND GENERAL INTERESTS OP THE PEOPLE vol. ir. EUGENE CITY, OREGON,' FEBRUARY 21, lou. NO. G. J 1 $L THE STATE REPI'DLICAX. Published every iSuturJay by J. NEWTON GAX.:E. Terms of Subscription. Th nKPUSMctx vill no oublislieit at "ni stearin til Viajtf ; ci lit II tltl'l at llitf L-im 4)1 six meatus ; or it i" --. liu eioso u thu year. One uallar a-lutiunal will ue Ch3rjrL.l I'.ir eaeli year pic, nu-nt is iter'n-eie'l. Xii paer's ilis-MintmuiiJ uunl all arrearages arc --aid, except at our option. Hate of Advertising. One square (ten lint- or less; oni mouth, Ejeli additional insm-tiim, business Carjs, one s piarc. or less, one year, ' six inoatiis, 'onr squares and upwards, one year, per mpi are, " six inontiis, per square, ' tiiree months, ' Admmistr atnr'.s Notices, mid all udveriisemenls re lating to estates of deceased persons, wliiell have to be sworn to, one square, tour insertions. 3 00 flu 12 ml 8 mi 10 on 7 on 5 00 5 00 To AnvKimsKits. -Ifasincss men throughout Oregon nnd California will tin 1 it are atlv to tlieir uitvuutuge to adver tise in the Statu Ueimiulican. Tha Law ol Newspapers. 1. Subscribers who do not L'ive express notice to the nntr.irr. are considered us wishing to continue tlieir stiu- 1 II' subscribers order the discontinuance of their pa- purs, the publisher may continue to sciu uijin mi an ai rcaraa" are paid , .1 If sub-Tibers nc 'lent or ref i.e to t ik ; tlieir papers r . n, . i ,viiiii tliev are ire"--.-'! thev are Held ii.,w.i'i! till thev have settled the bill and unlered the n.on.i- .1 i.-ottti lined. 4. It' subscribers remove to other places without in forming the nn ilishcr. and the paper is sent to the lonner :n,l.i Ow.ir nc, hdl.l resnoilS! Illl'. S. The courts liavoile 'i led that refusing to tnko ft pa per from the o'liee, or removing and leaving it uncalled for, is prima ficia evidence of intentional ft and. CU illE iPtlVIJKXCE. Tho ftu'lowiiijj extracts nro from a cntres pondence between two brothers-both preacher. O.ie lives in Illinoi-!, the other in Oregon After nUnd'uig to tho usual family matters the Illinois brother says : You open your letter In stilling that my last was h ib-fciise of modern Democracy, etc. 1 do not recollect us to that, lint, I do not think it need any ot her defense mm th in an honest lo -k at wil it. " Jfidfra Rtt')li-enni-m" litu done foroiir country. It hss broke iil the peace oi tile nation, churches and families; it his involved its in a civil and foreign war; it ha ''cnn"a!iz d 'Ik! i-aio-i and people lo the low e.t depths ; it has disregarded nnd trampled on Mir lVsiisti tul ion and laws in a most shameful nvn'ier ; it has involved us in a delit of 500, 000,000; it h is broke, up our commerce, until now in this j.ln 'o corn is only worth 7 t i S cents yr bushel, ail 1 all the firmer makes for sale in p"'ioirti n ; it has raised the price oHniport until eofie'i is worth 25 cents per pound and nlK-r tlin its in propnriioii ; it, lias filled our land wi'li vindictive malice, hailed, death and mourn ie:. and all grown out of the evcrhislin'r n'ipier agitation. I rejoice that what little itiflucrce I hi've had has been all the tint" exercised iioiiust it (modern liepublica ism). IIuT I shall stop this bv sivitc.' 'hut we are as I think in the di rect road to i urn as a nation, and that brought , t , . . . i ei i ' . 1 on iy tni) .or:ii iiit;iiiiv in tne i nun n ami Slate, and in every possible way, the slavery question. I regard Abe Lincoln, and in the main his supporters, much worse tra'ors t: our glorious Union ami Government although thev art! nt its head by a minority vote of the people, than Jeff Havis and his party who have renoime ed it altogether. - You now know what I am. You state " issues change but principles re main the snnie." The issues are the same lie tween the friends ami enemies of our Con-titu tion r,d Government. The enemies tire now unfortunately in lower, but n day ofreikoiiing will come and I hope and pray it may con e soon. 1 urn for the Union, the Constitution and the laws made under it, with all my heart, but I bt lieve I he policy of the party in power what ever may be their pretentions to loyalty and patriotism, to be opposed to the Union and n direct violation o! the plain letter and also the spirit f the Constitution, hence I have no sv in pathy for ihem. Thomas, (his eldest son, F.r-) was sometime in the Missouri State army, holding the place of ( lartermaster fr a regiment. But after the battle; of Spuirgfiold in which he was, he resigned and came home, lint everyth'u JZ in Missouri is Utterly ruined so fir as business is concerned. John (his second son. ed ) was in Gen. Price's arm the hist I heard from him. He has been in quite A number of battles, among others l!oonei!le and Lexington. lie was wounded at Bonneville in the leg but the bone was not bro ken, and in five or six weeks he was able to join his regiment again, lie is drill master with the: rank of Captain. It was very much against try wish to have the boys go in the army at all, ei ther North or South, but could not prevent, if. I hope you w ill not feel huffy over this letter, but as you seemed to rongrat date yourself that we were now under the same flig. and at the same time intimated that you h id let changed vour views, therefo-e I must have changed mine, so I felt like r.nde.-eiving you. I am now v here I hive been fir the last twenty y-ar as to the slavery qne-tion : That i, I don't want ! live with l hem, or own th-m. i-r have anything to do with them, and feel I ke letting them alone v. ho b'. nnd am decidedly nnd in my very heart and judgement oppo-e 1 to Close wno live in me iree oraies ineiniiiejj wuti , the !avery question m any way whatever. Y,.,,, n,,t I.-'.,.-..., I, .... A I . 1 til, . .i, i.i..- ,! ...-..l......'. I I .1. '..!.! . j"''o mi, r-pi.i,, i . jud-evonr chriMiin fijoym-nt from what yon ' writ. You in this are n- t alone. Almost all ! ii"u s nil iniiii.r.oi us. iiiinr-, bio sounj of our Abolition r-re-.chcrs hsve bit the church. ; as tha fruit of their labors on that subject. la this State we are very ; mm h divided as to the policy of Lincoln, but ail j deny being abolitionist. 'By th time this reaches J "U, 1 hope we will lie ah'e to son n little furtln r ahead. At imy rate write to me. Write ntiy way yon please :nnl or in a good humor any way, write, it will nut h'.irt us. Revily. You nppenr apprehensive that Imy be "Imf. dear such such I fy ' or mad at vour letter. iNow mv brother. I will say to you. dismiss all thoughts from your mind. I entertain no feelings towards you, but rather those ol that my older broth, r should be tile victim of such gross prejudice and blind infatuation. I w ill not say a word for the purpose of irritating you, but I beg you to riermit mo to deal candidly with yon and use plain talk. We have had con siderable controversy in days bygone, and some that v as not very pleasant, and in my last letter to you I thought I would wave subjects of con 1 roversv, and write about (hose things upon which w e were agreed, for I could not for a mo ment allow myself to believe that you had turned traitor to the Government ot your country ; and hence, was not altoget her prepared to receive so belligerent and war-like an answer from you ; hut I will try and wade through it patiently, and an swer it with such facts and argummts as will commend themselves to y our consciousness, g., much for an introduction. You say that, modern liepub ieanism '-has broke up the peace of the nation, churches and families; it has involved us in a servile and foreign war ; it has demoralized I he i:att.,n and people to die lowest depths ; it has di-.i i garded and trampled upon our Con-tilutioii and laws iti the. most shameful manner; it has involved u3 in a debt of $500,000,000 ; it h.is broke up our commerce, until now in thia place corn is only worth seven to eight Cents per bushel, and all the farmers make for sale, in proportion ; it has raised the price of imports until colT e is 25 ecu's per pound, ami other things in proporiion ; it has filled our country with vindictive malic?, hatred, death mourning, and a'l growing out of the everlasting 'nigger (jiiistion.' " Here I h ive quoted your own language at length, and I must, say that it is t singular piece of composition. First, you say that modern liepu'olicani -m has done all this mischief. This is mere assertion of yours with out the shadow of proof. )id you expect me to receive tliis bold statement, wit iioilt t he senib 'a o of testimony ' I'.it this is not the worst tcatuiv ir. I he. in itier. Yon th"ii say that it grew out ot tlic agitation or me negro question. or the ''negro agitation. Now, my broiln-r, you have lifle I the responsibility ot all the. crimes and calamities off of "mo leru Republican ism," ioi.l j laced it on tile ''everlasting negro ag itation! ..vv let us impure wno nave been he agiutors. Every well iiit'ouii. ,1 pi rson knows In there are two classes of agitators. The first uid prii a: pal cisss are t hose wno present, advo ate and liefeiul a -vsiem ; the second are those wlio oppose and condemn it. I n cr this view i the subject, it is easy to determine who h ive been lh" principal agitators. It. is inipos idle to g 't up an imitation upon any subject until its friends thrust it, upon pu .U!; attention. I his :hi;v can d either by words or actions. If a inject has no advocates, all stiife and ngita lion die out like tire Ibr the want, of fuel. It the friends in d lovers of slavery had been content r it to remain wilhin and not en beyond its constitutional limits (the States in which it exist i d) there would have been little ngital ioli outside i hose Siates. Ibit when the ft lends of the "pe miliar institution ' dragged Texas into the Union and made war upon Mexico for the purpose of spreading, sireiigth.-ning an I perpetuating this foul leprosy of slavery, then the f i n Is ol free ilom became justly alarmed, and began to agitate in the oppoitn direction. Now suppose that the slavery propag an. lists had submitted to the will of anti-shivery people and given up their mad and wicked scheme of strengthening human bondage ; would not the everlasting negro agita tion have ceased ? Then why did they notecase th-ir agitation, and give the country peace? There rta but a little handful of them, compara tively speaking some 350 000 slaveholders, and yet they must, excite, agitate and disquiet this great mil ion of . 0,000, 0v0 of people. But I will now say that Stvph ai A. iJoiiglas. who is gone lo Ids account, did more to excite and -l'o oke deep, general and violent agitation than any five ant i-slaveiy men in this nation. When he introduced and persistently advocated his bill to repeal lh .Missouri Compromise line, and thereby open tho 11 o g a'e of slavery extcn sion ; this movement shook ibis nation to its center, and created one general 1nz a of excite in-lit. and agitation all over the United Srate. inl yet you, mv brother, supported this urcli "negao agitator for tho presidential chair, if I have correct information on the subject. The gre t and moving eau-es of "negro agitation'' within the last twenty year ., was tirst, S cret iry Calhoun's ree'omuieiidation to annex Texas fir the avowed purpose of extending and strengthen ing that institution ; second, 4 de-man I id slave advocates to have all the territory acqu'red from Mexico open to the institution ( slavery ; and third, the repeal of the Missouri Compromise line. 1 hese. me isaires canned ih,- "negro 'fa lion," and now I ask, wl: is responsible f r ir ? ..e tin re i lea, b-f -re I lc.iv. this p r? ol th. Ul.jeet. lour reasoning conveys tlu tin that ; "lr 1 -l?c. '"tier oppoTienr, wnen m eonio.-., .. vou do not consider adv.MMtn.g "sl.iv cry , gii.i- r ' vote, and J. if. an avowed secessionist bug the matter at all opt osi; ion abefe is agita j 1 disunioi i t the fir-t using almost superhn tiou. Is th:s in accordance with tiuth ? Tlieii. i -ff "'Is tosu-t tin the Constitution, Laws and if agitation id' slavery has caused all the evils i ""' '""'on. whlie Ihe latter is using every pos-i. thst i.tlle-tour country, modern Democrats nrel l,!'' cfrtion to destroy them all ; your prayers rcsponsili.e f.r it. I have made these arguments' . i mum your iio-i'ioti. tnat ni-'ro a '.tatiii has I . j . i. . . . . i i . I . ..... :i . i ! r.iiise.i i ui. i roii i ,it- now its itoun iiicr-ri . . . . - i :. - .".i.i- - ' 1ST Co ail V 11 cessar v a ;i 1 1, se pa ra ot O roni'eilio,, between "negro agin tion'' and the J. ff Davis"- rebellion ? D.d the notation create an inexora-' 1.1,. , .itv for rebellion ? Von knoir that it ditrtol. li.J it j'tt'ifj tho rebellion ? What ,uy you? Bit agiit, h ive not "modern Republicans," a we;j , ,,()f,r cj.;-, United St, right to mvesti gate or agiiate any subject, or sys. .1 w .. e .1. . .11 Tl.: . teiun affecting in e.i oe oi i no peopie i "i is me of the glories of the Constitution of the United Stales, that it secures to every citizen the ngtit to investigate ami ulil sli ms views upon . t lie Stars an I Stripes, with the Constitution of all subjects of interest. And slavery is the only tle United Siates for his cuide.and Davis, under sulijcct that I know of that asks to be exempted L strange and barbarous fl ig, with a new Const i from examination. You freely accord to all the tin ion formed nn.b-p a divi.ion of ih,. Sii... privilege ot arguing ami ot investi gating the claims of Christianity, the nature of r generation and the doctrine of atonement ; but American shivery is to sjicrcd to ho enquired into we may freely overhaul all other sunjeits but we mu st keep hands off of human lion. Inge ! I have always heard it said (and believe the sav ing true) that investigation never injures the truth ; til it it comes out of the ordeal brighter and stronger than when it entered. I have tin derstood that falsehood shuns the light, and avoids examination. Is this correct I If the Ci'.l.tmitii s our coui.tr)' is now suffering grow out of the -'everlasting negro agitation," i have fixed, iminoveably, the responsibility of the same upon ''modern Democracy." But 1 will now point you to the true cause of all the distress ot our nation, and that, is Amor icon slavery ! This is the foundation of '.he whole. Is this ''everlasting negro question" an evil I If so, out of what did it grow Out o slavery as a matter of course. If shivery had never been planted on Amcric an soil, would there have I ceil ny agitation on the subject ? Il it did not ,-xist in our country now, would there unv agitation of it at. the present? This is the poison root from which has grown till the distress i f the American people. This dark, hideous, horrid monster, slavery, "has broke tiji the peace oft lie na'ion, churches and families." and caused all that long train of evils of which you speak. Again, you say that modern Kejaiblicanism h is "irainpled the Constitution and laws under loot in the most .shameful manner." Why did you not poi it out one instance in which they did ihis. Assertion without proof has but little cffs'l with me. I deny, positively, that the Republi can party have l one any such thing. A moments it 11 ction ough to have taught you belter than to make such a sta etin nt mid iherby involve v our.sclt in such an absurdity. When did the Hi-publicans come into power, (hit is. the ndmin i tration of tin- Government ? The 4th ot march lMil. When did the rebellion commence? several months before hand under the udminis'ration of modern I e nocr.il s, ih.; same who have held the ruins of Government and guided the shii ot state for tint hi-tIS e..rs ; and where di I they guide it to? li ght into the whirhiool of rebellion, and just vvlien the noble ship w is about going down mud the waves ot anarchy, and desoo'ism. the U. p i Mica i crew stepped on bourd ' honest Abe" grasped the helm, put the ship about, pointed her prow to the haven of constitution d liberty and the glorious old vessel is majestically riding the mad waves of secession and rebclioii. How could they "trample the constitution and laws Under their feet" before thev Were ertrusted with their administration? You mu:t seethe ibsnrdity of this statement. Now, say that nio.lern Democracy h id all the nower in its own nanus wnen mis msim,. nnil wicket! rebellion was commence., moilern Democracy noe'ed on bv the black monster, slavery, did the acenr ed deed. I hey held the executive, legis'ati ve, and ludiiial Department of thcGi uernnient a I in their own possession, and no bki-ldiood of either passing I way from them, exeet the Executive. Who resolved South Carolina. Geor ia. Alabama. Mississippi, Louisiana ct -. out of the Union 1 An wcr, modern Democracy. Who fired tpon the Sraroflhe West ? Mod' rn Democrats. Who planted il e r batteries and pointed tin ircinnon at Ft. Siimpter? Modern I). mocracy. Who can initialled the same Fort, hauled down, and trim pled I Iks United States flag, tie- stars and stripes ii th dust.? Modern Demoerfi's. Who ran up a I'llmetto or ratt'c nake flag in its stead? Modern Democrats. Who raised an army and marched fn the I'otomae, threatening fn capture the United States Ciit,il ? M idem Democrats. Ami who r topped tlieir progress and saved the Capital ? Itepublicai.s ; who fried to force Mary land out of the Union? Answer, modern Democrats, ,-u d ho prevented th.-m ? Modern Republicans. Who tried to force Missouri out ot the Union? Mo I -rn D "no -r its ; who prevent ed them? Modern Republicans. Who took the dian luc i at the battle of Bm neviile ? A mod crn I )emocrat. I now come to notice h part of rour letter that requires me to bear heavily upon you. You ay: "I regard Abe Lincoln, and in the main his suonorters. much worse traitors to our glo rious Union and Government, than Jeff Divis." Again, you te rue tint yu are f rthc " Union the Constitution and h" laws made under it. with all your heart." Th--n ns yu consider 1 resident L neoln is doing more injury lo the Union nt.d Constitution, that von love so well, than Jiff Davis, your sympathies and feelings must be with the latter, consequently I am force reluctantly to the conclusion that you nr a dis unionist and that secession nest'es in your bosom. Oil! hoy mortifying this is to me ! President L neoln was roi -t 'utionally el--t.-l to that high olli -e and so pro- minced by B - -k. 1 intercessions arising r..r rus i. ne larier ; j . f i x ... ' . ami yet you are a I uiori man; .ovr, m v b rot he r iL'rn i. h.i f.iw.0 h.r lo st ri, I . - vou are e.th. r for t.inoolu .r f..r !-ivist lher i lint hairs breadth of ground between; tic re is no '''it'P' these conclusions henoe I am bound to , yon secs,ioni,t or e se you are envel ped in smh cloud of prejudice that you don't understand yourself. Query, do von live in that Vrt ' Mim-i called Egypt? If', this cir - "irnst.yijcc may c,?,w,t f.,r vour AtM in- . i W,ns-H.e..y. Y. u are surroui d d with Egyptian t . . . . . . s; darkness. As I u-li to make this matter jfcctlv pla n, I will preseii ja,v 'lt t(, contending per ut it further Now there tare out t o contelulin .' narties Lincoln, under his conduct being morn in accordance with vour views of propriety, yon nnist necessarily rejoice in his victories and mourn over Lincoln's; you mouin over Davis' defeats, and rejoice over Lincoln's ; if this is not treanon what is? You say that Lincoln was elected by a minorily vote. Now I say that he received a respectable majori tv of ihe electoral votes overall hiscompetitors. If you menu the popular vote of the people, I reply that he had a much larger popular veto than old leu Ice an had, and I never heard of your objecting to his Admiuistraton on that ac count. You say a i!ay of reckoning will conic, and you hope and pray that it may come snon. if your mind was not. enshrouded in darkness, you would peri cive that a day of reckoning h i already come, is now upon the nation for the injustice, the oppression and roberies committed by modern Democrats in obedience to I ho de mall, Is of slavery. Look at Missouri ; you say lh.it Slate is "liltcrallv ruined." ! say she is suffering the just penalty of h ! robberies and oppression. Had it not been for slavery, she would now be taring as well as Illinois. Look at Lifivette county. Utile Bill Russell said that that county had spent tfc'JOO.OOO in thecD'a- to force slavery upon Kansas. Ihe town ot Lexington planted her (anno upon the hank of the river, and compelled steamboats loaded witl Free Slate emigrants, to come to shore, robbed the emigrants, imprisoned some and turned olhei s back ie a slate of destitution. That county and town were more r impant in their blind fury upon lieeiloni in Kansas than any oilier portion ol the State, and now Providence has sent them cannonading nnd war to their heart's content Vou know that the south-west Mi-soiirhins have traiuiileil law anil orcler iniiler toot on various occasions, and now a day of reckoning has come But I say Missouri is not "laterally ruined." Sh win come ion rrom tue iiirnace a purer aim a better State. Radians and outlaws will be put down, and honest men will be raised upwhi w ill respect the lights of their fellow men. In the next place I w ill uolice your position on slavery, and you need not be surprised if I con viiice you that you are now and have been for the last thirty years, a rank pro-slavery prcachi r. ion say that you "ilo not want to own staves, lo live among them, or have anything lo do with them. I his proves nothing as to your views of the coral ch aracter of the practice. Many per sons do not wish to do things themselves tint they have no objections to others doing. Y u further say that you are "decidedly opposed to persons living out. of the Slave Stales meddling with slavery in any manner whatever." Now you do not waul to seize upon your fellow man, and rob him of every right makes life dear, bur vou can stand bv and look on with stoic indid'e reiice, while others do this villuii s deed. Not o ily so, but you can stand, as it were, with drawn sword (that is tongue and pen) and cut and thrust every arm that is put. forth to drag l he oppressor oil' his victim. If you were to act the same part towards a highway robber and his victim, you would be held and judged in law as equally guilty and deserving the same punish nuiit with the aittor. As to 1 homas and John joining the rebel army, I consider you responsible for that also. Y"ii say you were very much opposed to their joining "cither army North or South." Here you place this pro.savcry rebellion on an equal ity with the lawlnl Government of the United Stales. Now I should say that a father who cares no more for the well'u e of his country h in you seem to (I judge of your indifference liy spi aki' g ot the United States army in the Siine manner you do of the rebel arniv) ought to expect his sons to join in a rebellion. If you had taught your sons the unjust and villainous nature of American slavery, they would never have joined a rebellion to extend and perpetuate if. If you had taught them that all men, regard less of color, have an inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, they would never have been guilty of the horrid i rime of treason ngait st their Government. But the deed is done and llm disgrace is upon thein for lite, but I hope they may repent and liud forgiveness. l-'cciinj I lift II limps. Colonel H , tells a capital story of a ccr. tain wag in the interior, a jolly publican, who contritiulos a good deal to tint lift of that picas- I ant though soim tiui s obstinate borough. One uiori.ing a traveling phrenologist hi rive I at ins inn. And the next da. nppe. red in llm village paper a I ad yertis.-niis it, slating that Prof.)sor 15 had arrived, and would mak", "for a eoiisi.lei at ion," examinations of the heads of the ciUZ-ns, and accompany the ume with accurate, and reliable charts o character. Fur three or lour d iys his calls were sparse ; but on the fifoi day there was a rush of live or six to tho ap nt ments of t lis Professor. One morning a conn try man entered Hie inn where the phi-i-nob-jri-d had his room, and s.ai I to our landlord aloi eand: " Is this the place wh re Ihe phrenologist ' holds out,' thttc.an tell a man's k.i ractcr by the bumps onto his head J Yes," answered B mifice, wuh a reserved and dignified manner. " W .1. I want my potafoe trap looked into a little. here's the man ?'' ' 1 am tne man," said the landlord. Ol, ! you he, eh? Wul, put in, feel o my ., lumps, and um us a map. hat s the sw indie : "-' , ' 7f f -s 'xo , t euce sir a pner.u in.nci . ' f ' , I sji iiui lint a iuc in n--- -. One dollar, with a chart." " Wal, go it : what do I do? lie dojyn ol sit up ? Does it hurt t "Not in the least ir : take eal in that chair." Ther were f i-tr or five morning trmrgcr in tha tavern, who checked a laugh, as tho countryman took his seat, having first, as requested, removed lis coat, vest, and neckcloth. The wag of a landlord ran his h inds through tho " har" of the " patient" for a moment, and said to the bar tend, er : "Mr. Fltpkins, take a sheet of paper, draw four lines down its whole length, and put down my figures un ler the heads I "mention to you." It was done. "Have you got il ?" " Yes, all right." "Very well;" and tho landlord went ou. with hi examination, which was rougher, perhaps, than there was any necessity for. "Put down Pniio-progeiiiiiveiiess, sixty." "Down sir." 'Very well: Reverence, two."" " Booked sir!" " Combativer.cs.s, two hundred ! ' What's that?" said the victim. "No matter sir : you'll see it on the chart. Caution, one; Credulity four hundred! "What's that last lumn ? asked the patient. "Nevermind, now, you'il understand it by and by. And now, (to "the bar-keeper,) Mr. Fli'k:iis, you've put these in separate col. umiis, ns usual f" " Yes sir. "Very well, add 11 1 r " Add 'em u u ppH exclaimed tint jihrcuologieal "subject do?" "Of cour.ie! is th.it the way you how else could wo cet your balance of mind of intellect?" "Wal, go ahead !'' ' How- far does it Daooll, Mr. Flip. kins? "The three columns are equal they foot up precisely the same !" Tho landlord looked -o'eniuly nnd sympathetically toward his subj ct : " It is very strange," said he. " but it is so. Phrenology never lies. Yon have no predominance of character, sir: you have nu intellect mil status; you don't know anything, sir. Excuse me, sir ; but I must state the truth, whether you bike a chart or not : but, sir if there is any truth in phrenology, you arc ad m fool!" Under the circumstances, sir, I can scarcely ex pect you to desire to keep the chart you have contracted for. That is a inaltcr of small conse quence, us it w ill be a valuable illustration of an unique species, w hich 1 can use in my lectures h r a'ter. I aiithent cate all my let t ires, sir, with real name and residence. Th.- charge of deception, in science, is one which was never brought again -X me, ir, and never will be, sir, never ! "Oh! never mind, gn us the map," said the subject; "hi-ie's the swind e; but I'd rather pay it than have you go'm' round the country iiiakiu' a fool ot tne everywhere else, as you have here you Masted philoprogenitive humbug, you !" Willi this explosion, the sub- ject retired. The Must Extravagant Woman iu the World. The Empress of France is probably the most extravagant woman living. Nor is this all : she has been the cause of ruinous extravagance in the families of her hu.sh nut's subjects, and in all countries whore the costly fashions she has set have found favor. M. Foiild, tho Emperor's Minister of Finance, threatens to resign his office unless her enormous drafts upon tho Ireasuary are curtailed. So costly has nhc. made thetoi. lette in Paris, that fashionable ladies are utterly unable to settle their bills for dress, and it is staled by the English press that it is as much as many ot them can do to pay the interest on tha large debts which following the imperial mode has caused them to incur. The world owes crin oline to the fair Eugenie ; and tho rougher half of its civilized population docs not feel by any manner of means grateful to her for the intro diietion of the article. She has madu her apart ments in the Tiiih-rics as magnificent as the pala ces one reads about in Oriental fables. The doors of her boudoir are ivory, inlaid with gold. The furuituro is of rosewood, inlaid with mir rors, gold, ivory, and pearl, and is upholstered with pale red silk. Syrmain carpeting of the heaviest t. xttire covers the floor, and the ceiling is splendidly frescoed. The desks and portfo lios are of tortoise shell, nrabasoued with gold. and the most valuable paintings of the old mas ters ornament the walls. Ihe beautiful woman who has surrounded herself with these luxuries spends an almost fabulous amount annually in rare laces and all the most expensive articles of female costume, besides subscribing unheard ot suiiu in aid id certain vast political schemes, for she is withal an intriguing politician. the htiuprcss is thirty six years of ago, and therefore old enough to have learned prudence: yet she is more prodigal now than in the hey-day ol tier youth ami beauty, 1 lie tjuccne of Loin XVI, was as extravagant, and as fond of rued- I dug in state alliiirs. as Eugenie, and her fool of i husband sull' red her to lead him bv the nose. One day, however, they lost their heads, poor things. Would it not be well for Louis Napo. Icon to take warning to heart ? Patk"Tii Our young ladies know how to turn a mishap to a good account. One of them accident I y stumbled over I lie rope of a recruiting tent, a few days since, and madu rather an exten sive display of her inkles, and continuations, for i he bencf l of the gallant recruits standing around. lankly recovering herself, she exclaimed ; "Well, 1 have done so muc'i for my country !" A rui.t.ow that has stolen as many horse as John Morgan need hav e no fear that even hi wort enemies w ill ever call him a one horse con. ecru. Pkoplk are prone to confound tho Admini tration and (he Government. Uncle Sam and Ulielo Abo are entirely distinct personage. It is said that (Jen. Price i not in good health. We sujipose lie is weak in the extreme. Wit kno of a pretty young lady w hn has II bashf.il lover named Joy . She is impatient to have him "pofi the question," and thinks of avail ing herself of the female privilege) o leap year. In that case sho would "leap for Joy." Minuses, candor and frankness, rc stanj. -jj insult to stitMk.