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About The new age. (Portland, Or.) 1896-1905 | View Entire Issue (April 20, 1901)
wmmmmmmm THE jvEW AGE, POBTIiAND, OREGON. -. i i i ' . Family Secret. "Thoee people In front of our caga ay tbey are descended from us," ob terved the First Monkey. "Well," commented tho Second Monkey, ".we Are about tho only ones of their ancestors that they will pay admission to see." Baltimore Sun. Swallowed nil False Troth. A timti recently swallowed his fle teeth and It drove him nnul. Slonmchs will stand n great deal, but not everything. If yours Is weak try HoMrtters Stomach Hitters, It cures Indigestion, couotlpntlou, kidney and liver trouble, ax well as inn larla ami fever mid ague. It la jmrleu larlv effective in nil nervous aflecttous, ltd Is strongly recommended at this sea on ot the year when tho system is run down and most susceptible to disease. All druggists keep it. Out of Hla Class. Schoolma'am (encouragingly) Come,, now Harold, spell chickens. Hnrold Please, ma'am, I'm not old enough to spell chickens, but you can try mo on eggB. Leslie's Weekly. ALUM BAKING POWDER. Declared by the Court to be Unwhole some, and Ita 8alo In Violation of the Pure Food Laws. A caso In tho courts of Davenport, Iowa, tho othor day appears to have fixed tho status of tho alum baking powders as an illicit nrtlclo of trade It seems that The Pure Food Co., of Chicago, sold to a firm of grocers in Davenport a quantity of baking pow der called "Puro Food Baking Pow der." Tho grocers sold same of it, ascertained that It was an alum pow der, returned tho powder unsold to the manufacturers and refusod to pay for It. Tho manufacturers sued to col lect. The caso was triod before Judgo Bollinger and a jury. Attorneys Noal A Neal, and S. A. Finger defended tho grocers. It was shown that tho pow der contained alum. Tho defence claimed, consequently, that It was in jurious to hoalth and that trafflo In it was against public policy. Export testimony wns Introduced to show that alum whon tnkon Into tho stomach would inllueuco tho gastric Juices to tho detrlmont of tho porson using It. Tho Jury rontlorod a verdict for tho defendants, which means that alum baking powdoru aro dolctorlous to health, their sale Illegal in tho state. Tho puro food laws of tho stato aro upheld. A Case of Contagion. She Do you bollovo In this theory bout spreading disoaso by klsslng7 Ho Well, thoy say thoro's something- n it. "Did you ovor catch anything by kissing a girl?" "Yes. once; my father saw me at it." Ytonkers Statesman. GRIP CAUSED IT THE AFTER EFFECTS MADE LIFE MIS ERABLE FOR A YEAR. One of tit Peculiarities of Disease Thai Will Not Slay Cureil-How It Was Driven Out. From Reporter-Journal, Oardlner, Mo Grip often leads to pnoumonla. Moro frequently it will appear to bo cured but loaves tho patient broken in health, short of breath after slight oxortlon and nftocted by ovory change of weuthor a fit Bubjoct for the many dioonscs inducod by tho In clemency of onrly spring. How this may bo avoided, how the Fvstem mnv ho cleansed of tho linger ing after-effects of grip and put in condition to ward off disease Is bent told in tho words of ono who is ablo to speak from oxporlonco. Mr. Sum ner Cross, of 80 Mechanic street, Oar dlner, Me., says: "A aevoro attack of tho grip, about five yoars ago, loft mo In a vory bad atate. I could not sloop and I had no appetite My head felt heavy, and I was rathor dizzy at times. Changes of tho woathor seomed to have a bad effect upon mo and I was mlserablo most of tho time. "I had been like this for a year when a lady, who had heard mo com plain, recoirynondod' Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Palo People. Shortly uftor this I had occasion to go to Bangor and thoro I bought bIx boxes of tho pills. While taking tho second box I began to feel benefited. Whon I had taken them all I felt so much bettor that I bought six boxes moro, and I have always considered the money I paid for them well spout. I would not be without tham. "I shall always speak of Dr. Wil liams' Pink Pills for Palo People In words of praise, for thoy aro an hon est medicine. I recommend them be causo I know that thoy are all they aro claimed to bo." (Signed) SUMNER CROSS. Subscribed and sworn to before me. Z. F. LITTLE. Notary Public. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People are an unfailing specific for tsnch diseases as locomotor ataxia, par tial paralyais. St. Vitus' dance, sci atica, neuralgia, rhoumatlsm, nervous headache, aftereffects of the grip, palpitation of the heart, pale and sal low complexion and all forma of weak ness either In male or female. Sold by all dealers, or sent direct from Dr. Williams Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y.. 60 cents per box, or six boxes for 2.B0. For the Occasion. "Please look pleasant," remarked the photographer. Snap wont the camera. "And now, ma'am." he continued, "you may resume your natural ex ffWMloa." Philadelphia Times. Oarfleld Tea purities the Mood, regulates the dlfeHlve organs and promotes food health. II U the herb inedlclno that hue been used aeceufullr for many Teem. Over-Anxious. He Who knows but when I come back from the Philippine you may bt engaged to some other man? 8he Nonsense! A If you were coming back without sending me word! Harper's Bazar. I Beet U ftS Testes iood. TJee tat. hJdynMu. SISm! Woman 3Jj Beautiful. Dirty-Faced Liz: 1 nm sorry for you, Liz; but the only way to get your face clean Is to wash It. 1 told you this onco before. Dollle: If you toe In, nnd Hnrry ob jects, there Is only one thing for you to do: Toe out. You can do this by wear ing cast-iron braces on the Inside of cither ankle. Any healthy blacksmith wilt gladly flt thorn to you. Mazlc Before attempting to rcmovo the wrinkles by massage, learn the evils of making faces at your neighbors. As soon nit you linvo broken yourself of thnt habit, there Is hope for you If you steam your countenance for half an hour night nut! morning nnd then run It slowly through a clothes wringer. Itoslc To cure pimples and red blotches on tho face apply a currycomb dipped In sulphuric acid. Rub vigor ously and then, upon retiring, apply a lotion of aqua nmmonln, soap nnd water. Jf this doesn't remove tho pim ples and red blotches, grow a now skin. Daisy: Whnt If you have freckles on your nose. They won't hurt you. When you are older-say 83 or 00 It Is quite likely tliey will fndo away. If you have no freckles on .vour Intellect nnd no wrinkles on your heart you are all right. Slender Stiznuno: Olive oil In Deer will put fat on you to bent thro of n kind. If you are a Monde, drink pnlo beer; If a brunette, dink beer. Always take things that match your complex ion. Dash cold water on your llguro every morning. If possible have tho maid turn the hose on you. Then throw n few flip-flaps and take a ten-inllo walk. Write mo how you get along. Dolla: Massage Is -what you need. Put tho week's wash Into the boiler over a good tire. After allowing It to simmer gently for a reasonable time re move tho pieces ono by one, nnd placing them on a washboard massage them thoroughly with soap and water. This treatment, If persisted In, will Infallibly restore your sluggish circulation to Its normnl vigor. MME. SQUEE GEE. Mil . i-V---fl Pip WQCTti Tarnxlcum, or dandelion, Is ono of the very best medicines for n torpid liv er. One tciispoonful of the extrnct morning and evening Is the ordinary dose, which tuny bo harmlessly dou bled If necessary. Always give a patient beef Juice In a colored glass a red oue If possible. A good plan Is to have for the purpose a pretty glass ornamented with gilt, standing on a saucer to match. Beef Juice, offered to an Invalid In this man ner, seems more palatable and Is less frequently greeted with the words: "I cannot take It!" When It Is remembered thnt coughing grently augments tho mischief In bron chitis, pneumonia and all lung diseases, the Importance of a remedy for sup pressing It, nnd also sneezing, Is ap parent. The simple pressure of the up per lips, or In front of tho ear, will arrest the Incipient cough or sneeze at once. Here Is the best home-made shampoo on tho market: To S cents' worth of castllo soap add tho same quantity of borax; add two tablespoonfuls of alco hol, the benten yolk of an egg and a pint of hot water. Rub well Into the scalp, and make a good lather. Cnre fully wash the hnlr In several waters, having the first water hot and the last oono cool. This will prevent taking cold. If the hair Is dried thoronghly. Afraid- of Iluaala. To what extent the Russian policy has Influenced the Imagination of Swe dish people may bo dithered from th fact that in Sunduvall, on the east coast of Sweden, the Inhabitants have formed a committee for the mimosa of collecting means to defray tho cost of erecting forts In and around the town, and particularly to create a de fense against the nttack, front the sea. Misunderstood. PUklns Hullo, Softlelgb, I see you're written a new sentimental song "My Sweetheart's Bleached Hair," Isn't It? Softlelgb S-l-r! I'd have you under stand that the title of tor sonc la "Mr Sweetheart's Baby Stare." Ohio. State Journal. Ignorance occasionally borrows gar ments and poses as wisdom, ' The politician with a pull U strictly la the push. CATARRH THIRTY YEARS. A Remarkable Experience of a Prominent Statesman. CONGRESSMAN MEEKIS0N GIVtS PE-RU-NA A HIGH ENDORSEMENT, CONGRESSMAN MEEKISON, OF OHIO. Hon. David Mcoklson Is well known, not only In hts own stato, but through out Amorlca. He began 1i!b political career by serving four consecutive terms as mayor of tho town in which ho lives, during which time ho bo came widely known as tho founder of tho Mcoklson Bank, of Napoleon, Ohio. Ho wns oloctcd to tho fifty-fifth con gress by a vory largo majority, and Is tho acknowledged loader of his party In his section of tho state. Only ono flaw marred tho otherwise carapleto success of this rising states man. Catarrh with Its insidious ap proach and tenacious grasp, was his only tinconquered foe. For thirty years ho wngtfd unsuccessful warfare against this porsonnl enemy. At Inst Po-ru-na came to tho rcscuo, nnd ho dictated tho following letter to Dr. Hartman as tho result: "I hnvo used several bottlos of Po-ru-na and feel grently bonofitad thoroby from my catarrh of tho head. I fool oncournged to bollovo that If I uso it a short time longer I will bo nblo Jo fully oradlcato tho dlseaso of thirty years' Btandlng. YourB truly, "DAVID MEEKISON." Many people can tolorato Blight ca tarrhal affections. A little honrsonoss, a Blight cough, n Bold In tho head, or a trifling dorangomont of tho dlgostlvo organs do not much disturb tho aver ago person In his business. But this Is not truo of tho public aponkor orstago artist. His voice must always bo cloar, lungs perfect, digestion undisturbed. Her 8trenuous vyay. "You didn't soora to get on with that Boston girl?" "No; she sat on the edge of her chnlr, ready to run nnd look up my pronunciation In tho dictionary." Chicago Record. Tb Beet Frascrlptlon fur Malaria Chills and Kever Is a bottle of Orovo's Tasteless ChlUTonlo. It 1 limply Iron and quinine in a tasteless form. No Cnre, No I'st. 1'rlceSOc. At the Breakfast Table. She What a tiny ltttlo egg that Ib you'vo got. Isn't it cute7 Ho (after breaking it) Cute? 1 Bhould say It was "chic." Catholic Standard-Times. Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth Ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their children during the teething period. Well Posted. McJIgger He's protty well post ed In social Institutions, isn't he? Thingumbob Yes, I bollove ho Is A-.I - .. nAvmnn gt ftllPfl fit nil pOalCU IUr IlUll-ywj MiWMfc w. - - -- the clubs, If that's what you mean. rnuaaoipma rreoo. Help Nature Help Yout Vitality cannot rare dlieaie unlets your body's kept clean Inside and out. Uascurets c...1v (Tathartio kren It clean Inside. All druggitt,10c,rc, 600. Regular Preliminaries. First Reformer Isn't it about time fo. your committee to begin ita cam paign against vice? Second ReWTmor Oh, my, no! Why, they haven't had all our pictures In tho paper yet Baltlmoro American. WANTED LIVE AGENTS In all towns of Oregon, Washington and Idsbo, IE ROY AMb 50, $35.00. rORTLaNB K UVHT. , jyr s jfl TO SELL LE ROY BICYCLES LISTED AT fSM, &U AND 40.00. GUARANTEED TO JANUARY J, 19SS. ttf WHlTK FOR CATALOG UK, DISCO UNTU AND TJCttlll HENRY GOODMAN A COMPANY, 0000 fs?0 rsMwv wWWBtT 000 MMfn mrymim 9mmmtmmm Honco tho popularity of Pe-ru-nk among tho leading actors and ac tresses of this country. They have come to re gard Pe-ru-ns as indespensable to their success. Their profession is so exacting that it requires perfect health In every particular. They regard l'e-ru-na as Mlii Cartle Thorass their friend and safeguard. Many letters aro rocoivod from this class of poplc. Miss Car rie Thomas, in speaking of Po-ru-na Bays: "I hnvo usod Po-ru-nn with splondld results. Would not bo with out it. No monoy would hlro mo to havo a settled cold or chronic cough, or hoarsonoss. Catarrh Is tho most dreadful thing thnt could happen to ono of my profession. Po-ru-na la my Bhlold and protoctor against this most undcslrnblo dlseaso." Carrie Thomas. If you do not tlbrivo prompt nnd satisfactory results from tho uso of Poruna, wrlto at onco to Dr. Hart man, giving a full statomont of your caso and ho will bo pleased to glvo you his valuablo advlio hatls. Addross Dr. Hartman, President of Tho Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, O. Knightly Warfare of Old. Medieval knights often took a v untary oath that thoy would never sparo tho Ufa of an onomy. FITS Permanently Cured. No fits r ixnoiMoew aftr ni-.tiUt.ii.of He. Kllnft'iftrvat Ncnrt Kitorrr- Mud lor FK K Ka-J.eairiai inii ami m . pa.B.11 Ku!ii.LUI..VJIAicU8L,l'taiJliaa.ya. Sugar Cane. The sugar cano grows from six to twenty feet high. l'lso'a Cure is the best medicine weaver used for all uircrtliins of tho throat and lungs. Wm. O. Kndslky, Vaubiireii, Intl.. Feb. 10, 11XXX Nebraska Industry, Noting tho Industry and versatile capacity of a Nebraska farmer, a Journal of his neighborhood says: "During tho past year. Honry Meyer, of Dubois, ran a feed grlndor, a buzz-saw, a stump-puller, a fodder cutter and a corn-shollor shelling 70,576 bushels of corn. He also built ono of tho finest resldencos In tho country, besides overseeing his farm work." Kansas City Star. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU AUK TAKING When vou take Or ore's Tasteleu Chill Tonic, became the formula Is plainly printed on every bottle sbowlne that It Is Imply Iron and Qui nine la a tasteless form. No Cure, No Fay, loc. Hla Ways. "Why do you seem to dislike Mr. Simpson, Mrs. Hopkins?" "Oh, he's the man who never comes to your houBO without pulling up the broken wlndow-shado, sitting In the disabled chair or getting tho cracked teacup." r. - . --i; ..'.. . -- -..-.. 7..- .. . LEROY Motlml BO, $35.00. reiTLaMj MIIVCIY. itnflM RRRaS'lRRaV jftSBBsB'vtSQw NjRBS&fDK PmrUtum, Or. Clever Salesman. "I wish to sco a bonnet," said Mlsl PaBsce, aged 40. "For yoursolf, miss?" lnqulrod the French milliner. "Yes." "Mario, run down stairs and got me hats botweon 18 nnd 25." Bonnet sold. Tld-Blts. How 8trange. "Woll, I suppose thnt young Good follow is married?" "You don't sny so! I'm surprised!" "Why, I supposed everybody know ho wns engaged." "To bo sure but that's dlfforent." Colorado Springs Gazette. A Good Reason. Papa You know, JnmcsT how much I dlsapprovo of fighting sCIll It is gratifying to know that you have benten t blggor boy than yoursolf. Why did you fight him 7 Jamos 'E said I looked llko you, dad. Moonshine Sayings of Little Folks. Mother Don't boll thoso canned pons, Bridget; thoy only want to bo wnrmod. Llttlo Tommy Mammy, peas can't talk, can thoy? Mothor W courso not, dear, why? Llttlo Tommy Thon how do you know what thoy want? Motherhood. In Old Kentucky. Tho parson enmo out and remon strated with tho major for being tc hasty with his gun. , "Aftor ho said that," said tho par son, "you should havo forgiven. him." "And didn't 1?" spoko up tho ma jor. "Why, parson, I was ono of the pall-bearers." Not Entirely Disinterested. Llttlo Bossio I llko you bettor than slstor's othor beau. Tho Beau I'm glad to hoar that Why do you llko mo? Llttlo Bessie 'CntiBO sister novor cats any of tho chonp candy you bring, nnd I get all of It. Now York journal. His Name. Tho toachor of tho Sabbath school class approached ono llttlo follow who was present for tho first time, and ln qulrod his nnmo, for tho purposo of placing It on tho roll. "Woll," said tho youngstor, "thoy cnll mo Jlmmlo for short, but my maiden nnmo Is James." Christian Register. A Literary Note. Mrs. Moddorgrnss Woll, If I woo thorn Boors, I'd Just go without read In before I'd do It. Mr. Meddcrgruss Do whnt? "Why, 'tho papers say thoy'vo boon takln' a lot o" British magazines." Bnltlmoro American. ABSOLUTE SECURITY. Genuine Carter's Little Liver Pills. Must Boar Signature of ce Fac-SlmlU Wrapper Below. Yasy aall ad as eaay to take aa sagar. CARTER'S FOR NEAIACHC FIR DIZZINESS. i FOR BILIOUSNESS. FOR TORPil LIVER. rOR CONSTIPATION. FOR SALLOW 0RIN. nR THE COMPLEXION awl.. I sewvsjss wmwimtivM. afenti I Fwely' YetaWevJfc?3 CURE SICK HEADACHE. In the Poetry "Business." A correspondent, writing from Tox arkana, Bays: "I havo two sons In the poetry bust licss. Thoy can wrlto it by tho yitrd, or foot Just as needed. I don't know how you measure it, hut what would you glvo for five or six yards? My boys aro hard-working follows, and thoy need tho monoy." Atlanta Con stitution. GET WET! Trie OBK1NAU OILCD nAKHSMMYfUeW IS SUM FtOTCCTJON IN ON even fifci nssfunu. CATALOGUES FREE JSHOmti PULL UNCOf GAJMCNTJ AWHX AWHAT3, SUMMER Is best time to eure Catarrh, llroiiciiltli and Comuiniitlnn. Our rumedjr It guaranteed, $1. I. O. Una T3. W. I. SMITH I CO., I.ffili, N. Y. If claim t NTs rep nf7rsJIfrM fff'lM It NATHAN aj aw a. 8ICKF0RD, Wtshlnftea, B. 0., ther will re cvlve quick replies. H. till N. II. Vol. HtaS SOtU Corps frosecutlnv claims since )67. MONEY :-' Heirs ol Union Soldiers who honutfaded lea than ICO acrta before June U, U74 (no matter 11 tbandoued), should address , aUCNWV M, COrf. Washington, O, , BSSBBBBBBBBl LYER riLLV. ONT ffnt, TfWA SAtfy I) rwrlCAe:. us The Change Life la tho most Important nerlod In a man's existence. Owing to modem mothods of living, not ono womnn m a thousand approaches this perfectly natural chango without experiencing a train of very annoying and some times painful symptoms. Thoso dreadful hot flashes, sending the blood surging to tho heart until it seems ready to burst, and the faint feeling that follows, sometimes with chills, as if tho heart were going to atop for good, aro symptoms of a tiara- Mrs. Jknnir Nobl. rerous, nervous trouble. Those Ttot flashes arc just so many calls from nature for help. Tho nerves aro cry ing out for assistance. Tho cry Bhould bo heeded In time. Lydla i. Pink ham's Vegotablo Compound was pre pared to meet tho needs of woman' systc ji at this trying period of her life. It builds up tho weakened nervous system, and enables a woman to past that grand chnngo triumphantly. " I was n very sick woman, caused by Change of Life I suffered with hot flushes, nnd fainting spells. I waa nf rnid to go on tho street, my head nnd back troubled mo so. I was entirely cured by Lydla B. Plnkhatn's Vegota blo Compound." Mns. Jknmk Noulk, 010 Koyser bt., Qermnutown, l'u. Immersion. "Co bury thy sorrow!" said I. Tho man bowed his hend and wont his wny. Thnt night I cntno upon him drinking heavily. "Is this tho way you bury your Bor row?" 1 said. "Hush! this Ib a burial at sea!" said tho man, with a bitter, haunt ing smllo. I folt much pity for him, thereup on, and would hnvo had something. had ho asked mo. Detroit Journal. A Fortunate Reminder. "Do you oxpect to hnvo a pair of samples ot ovory living creature In that ark?" asked ono of tho Jeering. spectators. "From -A to Iwardl" emphatically respondod Noah. "Ah! that romlnda mo," ho oxclnlmod. "Tho xobra!" And ho instantly dlspntchod a corpn of huntors to South Africa. Chicago Tribune. Changed His Mind. Frlond llut I thought you wore going to commit sulcldo In caso buo rojoctod you. Itojoctod Suitor So 1 wns; hut af tor I made tho throat to her nnd left, I enmo back and peoked In tho win dow nnd saw her reading a novel. Ohio Stato Journal. Objection Overruled. Ho I am going for a tlrlvo In the country this ovoniug. Would you care to accompany mo? Sho I would dearly lovo to go, hut I'm so afraid ot a liorso. Ho Dut mlno Is no gontlo that I always tlo tho reins about tho whip and let him follow his own Inclina tion. Sho And you hnvo both hands free? Oh, how delightful. Of courso, I'll go. Chicago Nowb. Railway Speed. When traveling on u railway you can toll how fast tho train Is going by the following method: Tho telegraph posts along n railway lino am placed 30 to tho mllo. So If you multiply tho mint hor of posts pussed In n mluuto by two. tho result gives you tho number of mllo per hour ut which tho train iu going. All a Mistake. Percy (who wrltou) Whon I start ed to usk your father for your hand ho draw a revolver on mo. Kdlth It was all a torrlblo mlstnko, Porcy. Papa thought you wore going to rend somo of your poetry to him. Judgo, To Spell Shakespeare's Name. It has been shown that Shakes poaro'a nnmo has boon spelled, by ro sponslblo writers, In 1'JOG dlfforent ways. In his own tlmo, his contem poraries spoiled his namo In thirty two different ways. The Ruling Passion. First Enthusiastic Golfer I say, will you play another round with me on Thursday? Second Enthusiastic Golfer Well, I am bookod to bo married on thnt day but It can bo postponed Punch. BESTFORTHE BOWELS If yoa bsTen't a regular, healthy iiio-em.nt of lbs elaeerf 0f, you're .lei. or will be. Keep fur. via open. a4 t well, rorco.lu thottiapavf at pnjr.lo or pill polion, I. imniierou. The bowyl. Tlolant '.Booilio.t, vatlutt. wont irfect war o( keeplna tbe n.l siear inu oion i. w CANDY v kpr wAinrtiiti CATHARTIC TNAOfkUAN attXaTINSO I Pleasant, Palatable. l'otept.TatteQpol PoOom, lererHlckeo. Weaken, or (Jrlpe. lOe. Wo Write or free .ample, and booklet vu bealtn. Addrcta St.riUe Iim4; iMfti;, abas, S..W..I, S. lark. SO KEEP YOUR BLOOD GLEAM MM $Mal H a sssmii asssBsssssssssssasBssi sssa sasssssssssssTassssssssssss -iytsjey i.itlaSl &yg' trtn'i"ssslV'aTH,ftaV;