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About The Hood River news. (Hood River, Or.) 1909-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 9, 1910)
6 THE HOOD RIVER NEWS, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1910 When the Deacon Gave In B m quad I'opyrltht, U10. by Associated Lit erary Press. The Widow Spicer and Deacon Wil liams attended the same cLurch and Lsd known each other for a long time. The widow had known the deacon'a wife in life aud was with her when the died. The Widow Spicer was a church member, hut there were a few thinjja she shied at. For Instance, she didn't believe the whale swallowed Jonah. Strangely enough. Deacon Williams bad never heard of the widow's dlsbe- , lief. It did not come to bis ears until he had been a widower for three rears and until a new minister took the pulpit. When he learned of it his surprise was great. He was also in clined to resent the heresy. He volun teered to call And bare talk with Mrs. Spicer. and the minister thought It might be a good thing, though be added: "But I hope there won't be no heat- . ed argument. Brother Williams. Argue gently. Argue on the large size of the whale and the small size of Jonah. Gentle argument and persistency may accomplish much." The deacon called and talked about the weather and the tater bugs until he had opportunity to introduce Jo nah, lie wanted to go right in like chopping wood, but ha remembered the minister's caution and argued gently. The widow didn't get fierce over it, but declared that until she saw the thing done with her own eyes she shouldn't believe the whale story. Deacon Williams left in apparent good humor, but he didn't feel all right Just the same. "Perhaps we shouldn't be too anx ious about it." said the minister when he saw that the matter was being taken very seriously. I The deacon had married a woman who firmly believed that the sun moved around the earth. It bad taken him three years after marriage to bring her I to bis way of thinking, but be bad won the victory. Why not marry the Wid ow Spicer and bring her to believe the whale story? That was the starring i point From thence the deacon brought himself to see that Mrs. Spicer bad a j comfortable borne, was said to be a fine housekeeper and was president of the Ladies' Aid society and treasurer of the Ladies' Heathen Benevolent as- j oclation. Taken all around. It would 1 not be a bad thing. He could have let the minister into the little plan, but be ; figured to wait and surprise him. The Widow Spicer thought pretty j well of Deacon Williams, as all other l folks did. Perhaps her condition was , forlorn. Perhaps she wanted to be cheered up. Perhaps she fell in love. No one can tell about these things, i and it's no one's business anybow. In due time they were married. When 1 the minister congratulated the deacon , the latter smiled knowingly and said: "Ask my wife a month hence wheth- , er she believes the whale swallowed : Jonah." ! "Ah. the influence of a husband! I shall be very pleased." But be wasn't. He called one after- noon when the deacon was working In his sawmill and Introduced his subject, , and it was hardly off bis tongue wben the ex-widow replied: i "I have had three or four rows wlthj the deacon about it. but I'm doubting more than ever. He says I've got to believe, and I say I won't, and there you are." From thence on, as the neighbors got to know and whispered about, that was a sad house. There was never an hour In the day that some reference was not made to Jonah. It would have been a great relief had tbey changed off to Daniel In the lions' den, but they never did. It had become the caudal of the church and the gossip of the village, when one day a tin ped dler came along and beard all about It. Among other houses he called at to exchange his wares for cash or paper rags was that of Deacon Williams. All his talk with the unbelieving wife was not about trade. He threw out a bint or two as to what could be accomplish ed by a determined woman. Then be went down to the sawmill and got up a talk with the dearon and durlDg the conversation managed to announce the fact that when a widower married a widow and there were no children all her proirty nt her death went to her relatives. The deacon hadn't con sidered this fact, and H gave bim a tart When be went home at noon be said nothing about Jonah. The wife seem ed to have been weeping. His dignity forbade bis asking why. Even when be kissed him he couldn't sacrifice bis pride. Jonah or bust was still bis watrbword. However, he didn't feel Just right, and he started for home an hour earlier than usual. It was to Cud the wife on the bed, apparently breathing her last, and a note on tbt stand tbat she bad taken poison. The deacon bustled for the neigh bors. He bumped for the doctor. He galloped to the drug store. He called himself names. He ki ked himself. He actually swore like a lightning rod man. And when all was over and the doctor said the patient would live, and the patient said she should still stick to ber old opinion, t deacon shout ed out: "Hang old Jonah! Hang the old whale! You can believe what you want to. and we sball have happy dome after this!" And the tin pMler drove out of town with a happy amlle on bla face. Ue bad made good, I 2600 ODD PARTS IN AUTO FIT EXACTLY Construction of Cadillac is Perfection in the Art of Mechanics. TESTS SATISFY EXPERT New Models, With Reasonable Care, Should Be Hood as New Four to Seven Years Hence, So Say Manufacturer H. M. Leland. of the Cadallac Motor Company, expresses some interesting views regarding the term of service insured in a motor car by thorough standard ization. He says: "We are actually face to face today, with motor cars which will last the ordinary lifetime of the average owner -or. at any rate, grow old in his service; or in the service of several subse quent purchasers. It is all a question of standardization. "All over the country there are scores of Cadillac cars in ser vice which are as sound and as efficient as the day they were built, eight years ago. This is not due to the mere external rug gedness of their construction, although that stoutness is a val uable factor. These cars endure because they possess a peculiar element of vitality which results, to put it crudely, from the per fection with which one part fits into its component part: and the harmony of operation that exists between all the parts that con stitute the car as a whole. "The man who is analyzing a car which he expects to buy has the right to suspect its probable longlivity if this element of fine measurement and fit is lacking; just as the life insurance exami ner would be justified in reject ing an apparently healthy man with a tubercular taint. "The motor car cannot live long life of satisfying service unless its mechanical 'anatomy' strives after the perfection with which the joints in a superbly healthy frame fit, the one into the socket of the other, and play their part without halt or miss or variation in the action of the whole. Steel, brass and iron being substituted for bone and blood aud sinew, the measurements of the former must in fact be infinitely finer because the process is mechan ical. "Thus-consider the supreme test to which the three Cadillacs were subjected in the celebrated Dewar trophy demonstration be fore the Royal Automobile Club of London, England. Three Cadillacs were torn down, thrown into a heap and built up again from the pile of conglomerate parts. To produce the results that followed -when the cars were reconstructed and driven smoothly around the Brooklands track for 500 miles, an almost incalculable fineness was neces sary. "If any of the three sets of vital parts in the 2000 odd parts that constitute a car had fitted imperfectly, it would have been plainly apparent. It was neces sary that the measurements should be, as they proved to be, close beyond the point of optical perception. In the 1911 Cadillacs this accuracy has been carried to a point never before realized. There are 167 parts and 237 oper ations in this car, which are ac curate to the one-thousandth of the inch or closer. "This is a cardinal quality in the motor car construction, which decides the longlivity of the car and the quality and the extent of the service it will ren der. The greater the degree of standardization, the less the frict on, the longer the life; the greater the smoothness, the less the expense. "The car of unlimitedly long service, referred to at the outset, is in reality here. There is not the slightest reason why the 1911 Cadillac should not be precisely as efficient, with even reasonable care, four, five, six or seven years hence, as it is today." Long Waiting Lists On 07 Cities Show How The Nation Regards The 66 Thirty" COver and above the thousands of 1911 Cadillacs already delivered, two thousand people are at this moment patiently waiting for the car of their choice. CIt seems to us that we may well be pardoned for pointing to the positive, unswerving character of this Cadillac demand. CIt is a National conviction, so firmly grounded that Cadillac dealers, of their own initiative, are investing in splendid new Cad illac retail buildings for 1911, a total of more than $2,500,000. CNew York, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Pittsburg, Providence, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Portland, Or., Milwaukee, Buffalo, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Denver, '.Toronto, Seattle, Vancouver, B. C, Jacksonville, New Orleans, Houston, Rochester everywhere the same clean-cut proposition to ignore the claims of any other car save the Cadillac. CYou will find none of these two thousand Cadillac buyers looking with envious eyes at costlier cars. CYou will find none of them tempted by the vaccillating market of lower priced motor cars. CBut you will find. In Every Large City In The Country, scores of men who have owned higher-priced automobiles, in the past, driving 1911 Cadillacs. CBetween the two extremes stands the Cadillac, solid as a rock in public esteem. CIt is the foremost exponent now, as it was the first four years ago, of the policy of attaining the minimum price by large pro duction, Without Abating One Iota of Excellence. CUncertainty among those who buy above the Cadillac price; and uncertainty among those who buy below it; but none among those who buy the Cadillac what does this indicate to you? 167 Parts and 237 Operations Accurate to the 1-1000 of An Inch or Closer Out side the Cadillac Neither Higher Nor Lower Price Can Bny Such Standardization CDo you know why 137 cities show long Cadillac waiting lists? CDo you know why 2000 people are content to wait upon Cadillac deliveries? CDo you know why they are not attracted by cars of either a higher or lower price? Because the nation has acquired motor wisdom-. -because it knows that neither high price'nor low necessarily indicates value. Because the Nation is learning to know that no price can com pensate for lack of standardization. Because the Cadillac with 167 parts and 237 operations accurate to the 1-1000 of an inch, possesses in this standardization an indis pensable quality for which there is no substitute. Last year we pointed'to 112 parts accurate to 1-1000 of an inch. We said then and thousands echoed it that there was no better motor car value in the world. CWe said that this accuracy was the one element which justified a $5000 price, and that the Cadillac possessed it in a higher degree than any other car. CThis year we come to you with the grand work of synchroni zation, harmony and perfect alignment pushed still further toward perfection. C1G7 parts in the 1911 Cadillac and 237 operations accurate to no other car in the world. That means a degree of standardization equalled by no other the 1-1000 of an inch. Do you find an explanation now for the extraordinary condi tions described in the foregoing portion of this announcement? Do you appreciate why the Cadillac is immune from the com petition of cars of higher or lower price? Fore-door Touring Car, $1800 Torpedo, SI850 Coupe, $2250 Limousine, $3000 Price, $1700 Touring Car, Demi-Tonneau and Roadster P. O. B. Detroit Prices include the following equipment Bosch magneto and Delco ignition system. One pair gas lamps and generator. One pair side oil lamps and tail lamp. One horn and set of tools. Pump and repair kit for tires. 60-mile season and trip Standard speedometer; robe rail; full foot rail in tonneau and half foot rail in front. Tire holders Cadillac Motor Car Company, Detroit, Ichigan (Licensed Under Selden Patent) GILBERT-VAUGHAW 1PLEMT MfkW THAT'S ALL- THAT'S. ENOUGH