Image provided by: Hood River County Library District; Hood River, OR
About The Hood River news. (Hood River, Or.) 1909-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 9, 1910)
THE HOOD RIVER NEWS, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1910
Deacon Gave In
B m quad
I'opyrltht, U10. by Associated Lit
The Widow Spicer and Deacon Wil
liams attended the same cLurch and
Lsd known each other for a long time.
The widow had known the deacon'a
wife in life aud was with her when
The Widow Spicer was a church
member, hut there were a few thinjja
she shied at. For Instance, she didn't
believe the whale swallowed Jonah.
Strangely enough. Deacon Williams
bad never heard of the widow's dlsbe- ,
lief. It did not come to bis ears until
he had been a widower for three
rears and until a new minister took
the pulpit. When he learned of it his
surprise was great. He was also in
clined to resent the heresy. He volun
teered to call And bare talk with
Mrs. Spicer. and the minister thought
It might be a good thing, though be
"But I hope there won't be no heat- .
ed argument. Brother Williams. Argue
gently. Argue on the large size of the
whale and the small size of Jonah.
Gentle argument and persistency may
The deacon called and talked about
the weather and the tater bugs until
he had opportunity to introduce Jo
nah, lie wanted to go right in like
chopping wood, but ha remembered
the minister's caution and argued
gently. The widow didn't get fierce
over it, but declared that until she
saw the thing done with her own eyes
she shouldn't believe the whale story.
Deacon Williams left in apparent
good humor, but he didn't feel all
right Just the same.
"Perhaps we shouldn't be too anx
ious about it." said the minister when
he saw that the matter was being
taken very seriously. I
The deacon had married a woman
who firmly believed that the sun moved
around the earth. It bad taken him
three years after marriage to bring her I
to bis way of thinking, but be bad won
the victory. Why not marry the Wid
ow Spicer and bring her to believe the
whale story? That was the starring i
point From thence the deacon brought
himself to see that Mrs. Spicer bad a j
comfortable borne, was said to be a
fine housekeeper and was president of
the Ladies' Aid society and treasurer
of the Ladies' Heathen Benevolent as- j
oclation. Taken all around. It would 1
not be a bad thing. He could have let
the minister into the little plan, but be ;
figured to wait and surprise him.
The Widow Spicer thought pretty j
well of Deacon Williams, as all other l
folks did. Perhaps her condition was ,
forlorn. Perhaps she wanted to be
cheered up. Perhaps she fell in love.
No one can tell about these things, i
and it's no one's business anybow. In
due time they were married. When 1
the minister congratulated the deacon ,
the latter smiled knowingly and said:
"Ask my wife a month hence wheth- ,
er she believes the whale swallowed :
"Ah. the influence of a husband! I
shall be very pleased."
But be wasn't. He called one after-
noon when the deacon was working In
his sawmill and Introduced his subject, ,
and it was hardly off bis tongue wben
the ex-widow replied: i
"I have had three or four rows wlthj
the deacon about it. but I'm doubting
more than ever. He says I've got to
believe, and I say I won't, and there
From thence on, as the neighbors got
to know and whispered about, that
was a sad house. There was never an
hour In the day that some reference
was not made to Jonah. It would
have been a great relief had tbey
changed off to Daniel In the lions' den,
but they never did. It had become the
caudal of the church and the gossip
of the village, when one day a tin ped
dler came along and beard all about It.
Among other houses he called at to
exchange his wares for cash or paper
rags was that of Deacon Williams. All
his talk with the unbelieving wife was
not about trade. He threw out a bint
or two as to what could be accomplish
ed by a determined woman. Then
be went down to the sawmill and got
up a talk with the dearon and durlDg
the conversation managed to announce
the fact that when a widower married
a widow and there were no children
all her proirty nt her death went to
her relatives. The deacon hadn't con
sidered this fact, and H gave bim a
When be went home at noon be said
nothing about Jonah. The wife seem
ed to have been weeping. His dignity
forbade bis asking why. Even when
be kissed him he couldn't sacrifice bis
pride. Jonah or bust was still bis
watrbword. However, he didn't feel
Just right, and he started for home an
hour earlier than usual. It was to
Cud the wife on the bed, apparently
breathing her last, and a note on tbt
stand tbat she bad taken poison.
The deacon bustled for the neigh
bors. He bumped for the doctor. He
galloped to the drug store. He called
himself names. He ki ked himself.
He actually swore like a lightning rod
man. And when all was over and the
doctor said the patient would live, and
the patient said she should still stick
to ber old opinion, t deacon shout
"Hang old Jonah! Hang the old
whale! You can believe what you
want to. and we sball have happy
dome after this!"
And the tin pMler drove out of
town with a happy amlle on bla face.
Ue bad made good, I
2600 ODD PARTS IN
AUTO FIT EXACTLY
Construction of Cadillac is
Perfection in the Art
TESTS SATISFY EXPERT
New Models, With Reasonable
Care, Should Be Hood as New
Four to Seven Years
Hence, So Say
H. M. Leland. of the Cadallac
Motor Company, expresses some
interesting views regarding the
term of service insured in a
motor car by thorough standard
ization. He says:
"We are actually face to face
today, with motor cars which
will last the ordinary lifetime of
the average owner -or. at any
rate, grow old in his service; or
in the service of several subse
quent purchasers. It is all a
question of standardization.
"All over the country there
are scores of Cadillac cars in ser
vice which are as sound and as
efficient as the day they were
built, eight years ago. This is
not due to the mere external rug
gedness of their construction,
although that stoutness is a val
uable factor. These cars endure
because they possess a peculiar
element of vitality which results,
to put it crudely, from the per
fection with which one part fits
into its component part: and the
harmony of operation that exists
between all the parts that con
stitute the car as a whole.
"The man who is analyzing a
car which he expects to buy has
the right to suspect its probable
longlivity if this element of fine
measurement and fit is lacking;
just as the life insurance exami
ner would be justified in reject
ing an apparently healthy man
with a tubercular taint.
"The motor car cannot live long
life of satisfying service unless
its mechanical 'anatomy' strives
after the perfection with which
the joints in a superbly healthy
frame fit, the one into the socket
of the other, and play their part
without halt or miss or variation
in the action of the whole. Steel,
brass and iron being substituted
for bone and blood aud sinew,
the measurements of the former
must in fact be infinitely finer
because the process is mechan
ical. "Thus-consider the supreme
test to which the three Cadillacs
were subjected in the celebrated
Dewar trophy demonstration be
fore the Royal Automobile Club
of London, England. Three
Cadillacs were torn down, thrown
into a heap and built up again
from the pile of conglomerate
parts. To produce the results
that followed -when the cars
were reconstructed and driven
smoothly around the Brooklands
track for 500 miles, an almost
incalculable fineness was neces
sary. "If any of the three sets of
vital parts in the 2000 odd parts
that constitute a car had fitted
imperfectly, it would have been
plainly apparent. It was neces
sary that the measurements
should be, as they proved to be,
close beyond the point of optical
perception. In the 1911 Cadillacs
this accuracy has been carried to
a point never before realized.
There are 167 parts and 237 oper
ations in this car, which are ac
curate to the one-thousandth of
the inch or closer.
"This is a cardinal quality in
the motor car construction,
which decides the longlivity of
the car and the quality and the
extent of the service it will ren
der. The greater the degree of
standardization, the less the
frict on, the longer the life; the
greater the smoothness, the less
"The car of unlimitedly long
service, referred to at the outset,
is in reality here. There is not
the slightest reason why the 1911
Cadillac should not be precisely
as efficient, with even reasonable
care, four, five, six or seven
years hence, as it is today."
Long Waiting Lists On 07 Cities
Show How The Nation Regards The
COver and above the thousands of 1911 Cadillacs already delivered,
two thousand people are at this moment patiently waiting for the
car of their choice.
CIt seems to us that we may well be pardoned for pointing to the
positive, unswerving character of this Cadillac demand.
CIt is a National conviction, so firmly grounded that Cadillac
dealers, of their own initiative, are investing in splendid new Cad
illac retail buildings for 1911, a total of more than $2,500,000.
CNew York, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Pittsburg, Providence,
San Francisco, Los Angeles, Portland, Or., Milwaukee, Buffalo,
Cleveland, Cincinnati, Denver, '.Toronto, Seattle, Vancouver, B. C,
Jacksonville, New Orleans, Houston, Rochester everywhere the
same clean-cut proposition to ignore the claims of any other car
save the Cadillac.
CYou will find none of these two thousand Cadillac buyers looking
with envious eyes at costlier cars.
CYou will find none of them tempted by the vaccillating market
of lower priced motor cars.
CBut you will find. In Every Large City In The Country, scores
of men who have owned higher-priced automobiles, in the past,
driving 1911 Cadillacs.
CBetween the two extremes stands the Cadillac, solid as a rock in
CIt is the foremost exponent now, as it was the first four years
ago, of the policy of attaining the minimum price by large pro
duction, Without Abating One Iota of Excellence.
CUncertainty among those who buy above the Cadillac price; and
uncertainty among those who buy below it; but none among those
who buy the Cadillac what does this indicate to you?
167 Parts and 237 Operations Accurate to the 1-1000 of An Inch or Closer Out
side the Cadillac Neither Higher Nor Lower Price Can Bny Such Standardization
CDo you know why 137 cities show long Cadillac waiting lists?
CDo you know why 2000 people are content to wait upon Cadillac
CDo you know why they are not attracted by cars of either a
higher or lower price?
Because the nation has acquired motor wisdom-. -because it
knows that neither high price'nor low necessarily indicates value.
Because the Nation is learning to know that no price can com
pensate for lack of standardization.
Because the Cadillac with 167 parts and 237 operations accurate
to the 1-1000 of an inch, possesses in this standardization an indis
pensable quality for which there is no substitute.
Last year we pointed'to 112 parts accurate to 1-1000 of an inch.
We said then and thousands echoed it that there was no
better motor car value in the world.
CWe said that this accuracy was the one element which justified
a $5000 price, and that the Cadillac possessed it in a higher degree
than any other car.
CThis year we come to you with the grand work of synchroni
zation, harmony and perfect alignment pushed still further toward
C1G7 parts in the 1911 Cadillac and 237 operations accurate to
no other car in the world.
That means a degree of standardization equalled by no other
the 1-1000 of an inch.
Do you find an explanation now for the extraordinary condi
tions described in the foregoing portion of this announcement?
Do you appreciate why the Cadillac is immune from the com
petition of cars of higher or lower price?
Fore-door Touring Car,
Touring Car, Demi-Tonneau and Roadster
P. O. B.
Prices include the following equipment Bosch magneto and Delco ignition system. One pair gas lamps and generator. One pair side oil lamps and
tail lamp. One horn and set of tools. Pump and repair kit for tires. 60-mile season and trip Standard speedometer;
robe rail; full foot rail in tonneau and half foot rail in front. Tire holders
Cadillac Motor Car Company, Detroit,
(Licensed Under Selden Patent)
GILBERT-VAUGHAW 1PLEMT MfkW