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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 11, 2019)
C3 THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JANuARY 11, 2019 One-sided conversations TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: At the ning listening to him feel family gatherings on my sorry for himself because spouse’s side, my broth- only one person had been to er-in-law “Albert” wants to his birthday lunch. loudly dominate any con- He has been very gradu- versation by either ally getting worse DEAR talking about his over the years. I ANNIE life or showing his know he is lonely “great” knowledge and wants to con- nect, but our lis- and opinions on other tening to him just subjects. He rarely seems to encourage inquires about how more of his annoy- anyone else is or ing, one-sided shows much interest in listening to us. He ANNIE LANE behavior. Plus, no Creators one in the gathering can be totally obliv- Syndicate Inc. ious to what is hap- wants to get cor- nered by him and pening with others. A good example hap- have to listen to him going pened about a year ago. on and on about the little Four of us met at a restau- details of his life. I have sug- rant to celebrate a birth- gested counseling or find- day. A few weeks prior, my ing a close friend when he’s spouse had missed Albert’s been going through one of birthday lunch because my his rough patches, but he’s spouse was hospitalized for had excuses. My spouse and some worrisome medical Albert’s other siblings do problems. Albert sat down not want to talk to him about at the table with the three of this because he gets angry us, didn’t say “happy birth- and defensive when they try day” to the birthday person, to bring these sorts of things didn’t ask how my spouse to light. It’s as if his life was doing and didn’t inquire details get pent up and he about why I was on crutches. has to unleash it all at fam- We spent most of the eve- ily gatherings. None of the family spends time with him except for holidays because a relationship with him is so one-sided and draining.— Annoyed by Brother-in-Law Dear Annoyed by Brother-in-Law: Irritation is a natural response when someone is behaving narcis- sistically. Yes, he might act this way because he’s lonely, but that doesn’t give him carte blanche to act like a bully without consequence. You and the rest of the fam- ily shouldn’t hesitate to put him in check. If he’s dom- inating the conversation, redirect it by asking another family member at the table about something going on in his or her life. If he interrupts someone, politely but firmly stop him and say, “I don’t think (insert name here) was done talking.” If he corners you and monopolizes your time, excuse yourself after a few minutes to mingle with the rest of the guests. And do encourage your spouse to (again) let Albert know how his behavior is impacting the rest of the family. Maybe it would spur him to get help. with the right people in the right roles. ARIES (March 21-April 19). In order to take care of other people, you have to first take care of yourself, which is what you’ll be doing with a healthy swath of your day. If something makes you feel cared for, then do it. There’s really nothing too frivolous. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Is what you’re asking of yourself reasonable? Would it be polite to require it of a family member? Is it more than you’d ask of your best friend? Be kind to yourself. Be fair. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). When your heart and brain are out of sync, there’s a jagged energy pattern represented in your day. So unify your mental and emotional states and make a conscious choice to come from love to smooth out your own way. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). A smile can mean a lot of different things. It can mean the interaction is over. It can be an invitation, or a dare. You’ll get a wide variety of smiles to read today, to the point where you might consider yourself a connoisseur. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Those who bring out your playful, lighthearted, creative side are people you need in your life for the long term. They’ll strengthen your resilience. You’ll be healthier for knowing them. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Because so much private information is made public through social media, people feel like they know one another when they don’t. Public image is never the whole person. Avoid mistaking the person for their homepage. CANCER (June 22-July 22). There’s power in anger and a practical use for fear, so you wouldn’t want to eradicate those feelings from your life. But a little goes a long way. The antidote for fear and anger is gratitude. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Before you can hunker down and get to work, certain things have to be in place. You need a full tummy, a rested body and a mind that’s not racing to solve some personal problem. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). When you think about the great art of the world, much of it is focused on small details — sunflowers, animals, the sky, food on a table and the like. If all you get excited about is the big things, you’re going to miss most of life. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You don’t have to be religious to recognize that there’s a power in love. Rituals that center around love will channel that power very effectively today, regardless of individual belief systems. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your mental, emotional and spiritual muscles need a workout just like the muscles in your body do. Once you fix yourself to a purpose and live it boldly, these faculties will engage and begin to get the exercise they need. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 12). In the past, you both failed at and succeed in doing very difficult things, which made you resilient and prepared you for the next three months of ... nary an external challenge! You must therefore ambitiously create your own, a most satisfying pursuit, though not at all easy. But don’t worry; the fortunes will lavish you in their favor. Libra and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 10, 8, 6, 18 and 37 LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Just as movies are better when the casting director gets things right, and companies run better with skilled workers in jobs that utilize those talents, your personal life improves FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE