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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 26, 2018)
A6 THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, DEcEmbER 26, 2018 Crippling social anxiety Dear Annie: I have social these experiences. First thing anxiety, and I find that it’s you should do is speak with really impacting my life. I’m your wife about your anxi- comfortable in small groups ety. Maybe you could come with people I know. How- up with signals you could ever, I have a diffi- give when you’re DEAR cult time meeting new feeling uncomfort- ANNIE able in a social set- people. If my wife ting so she could wants to set up an out- ing with a new cou- come help. For- mulate a plan and ple, I become very work together as a uncomfortable. I find team. Second, you it even more difficult should find some- attending larger gath- erings, such as parties ANNIE LANE one with experi- Creators ence treating social and social events at Syndicate Inc. anxiety. You are our children’s school. consciously aware Consciously, I know better, as I always end up that everything will work finding people I enjoy and out, and understanding how have few awkward moments to calm your subconscious of standing by myself. But could only be positive. Learn I have this fear that can be to take the fear and channel it crippling, and I will can- into excitement about unex- cel on events. Do you have pected social experiences. Dear Annie: I’d like to any advice for me on how to overcome this anxiety? — add to your response to “Get Out of My House,” whose Socially challenged Dear Socially Chal- husband’s relatives often lenged: Those we meet visit and overstay their wel- change us forever. Limiting come. She has a small house, our social outings causes us and no one cooks, helps or to miss out on new life expe- pays. riences, and part of growing My advice is to be firm and learning in life is having with a “no” if you don’t want company on a certain week- end. And any “yes” should come with a polite request for the guests to bring a case of water or paper towels or toilet paper or whatever you need them to bring. I keep a check- list on the fridge of items that need to be replenished. As well, have them bring their own sheets and towels so you are not doing laundry after everyone leaves. Laun- dry not only is time-consum- ing but also makes your util- ity bills increase. This is my home, not a college dorm, and because I plan to live here full time in the future, my wishes need to be respected if people are to visit again. Good company is always welcome, but we are under no obligation to enter- tain the freeloaders. Hope this helps “Get Out of My House” and others. — Sec- ond Home Dear Second Home: Bravo for knowing your boundaries and articulat- ing them. I’m printing your letter as inspiration for oth- ers dealing with frequent houseguests. TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Maybe you only know half the story, but it’s your half, and therefore the half that counts. You get to tell it the way you want to. Embellishments will happen... and earn you style points! TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Get out and about. If you’re alone too much, then you won’t get the ben- efit of seeing how people like and appreciate you. You’ll start to forget who you are and what you’re good at if there’s no one to reflect that to you. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). People who can amuse themselves and carry their happiness inside them- selves are the best ones to be around because they won’t lean on you emotionally or unload their subtle psychic burdens on you. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Discipline means some- thing different to each person. You’ll be exploring the limits of your own willpower, realizing what it’s being used for currently and and deciding where best to apply it in the future. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s like opening a combi- nation lock. You can get all the numbers right, but it’s not going to open unless you also get them in the right order. And here’s a hint about the order of things: Your first responsibility is to take care of yourself. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Boredom gets a bad rap. Extreme boredom can cause a person to wander into his or her own brilliance. So when things slow down, don’t rush to check your email or get sucked into social media. Sit out the long moment. Ponder. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s once again time to ask yourself why you’re doing it. The reasons have changed or maybe gotten lost. A good answer to the FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE question “why?” will be a powerful engine. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Sometimes we blame others — partners, employers, the government — for not giving us what we want when the real problem is that we’re just not letting ourselves have it. Open your hands, arms, spirit to the thing. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). If you spend enough time around very selfish or self-absorbed people, then the parts of you that don’t get seen will be in danger of diminishing. Counteract the effect with exposure to the spiritually generous. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). People say the game is rigged, but don’t let that stop you from playing. If it’s a good enough game, it will be beneficial to play whether or not you win, rendering any “rigging” irrelevant. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The magic question: What would happen if you had to completely and totally mind your own business for the extent of the journey? There’s something that can only be solved by shutting out the rest of the world. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Positive role models are wonderful, and you’ve known plenty of them, but if they’re scarce today. Don’t worry — reverse-role models (who represent what you don’t want) are equally motivating, if not much more so. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 27). You don’t have to win to be confident. Confidence comes from trust- ing yourself. Trusting yourself comes from learning, loving and accepting yourself. These are the keys to the kingdom this year, which begins by granting one of your fondest wishes. Roll up your sleeves and get ready to earn the next-tier prize. Cancer and Aquarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 28, 20, 14 and 8.
