6A
FEATURES
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
Husband doesn’t stand up for her
Dear Annie: I am an active
A successful watermelon patch
member of my small community provided the opportunity to share
and have served on many boards, our bounty with neighbors. I asked
including as an elected official. my husband to share the limited
There are a few community mem- melons with our friends instead of
bers who have taken their differ- the hurtful neighbor, as there were
ent views on city priorities to a per- not enough for everyone. My hus-
band ignored my direct
sonal level, and that has set
DEAR
request and delivered a
up the uncomfortable situ-
ation of seeing each other
melon to this man with a
ANNIE
at our children’s events and
smile.
places such as the grocery.
The fact that I have
One person, a neighbor
been betrayed and my feel-
ings are being dismissed is
of mine, publicly called me
dominating my thoughts
names that referenced my
and impacting our mar-
looks and actively spread
riage. My husband is
inaccurate and toxic infor-
Lane
mation about me. My hus- Annie
defensive anytime I try to
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
band had to call him over
bring up the issue. Please
a neighborhood issue, and
help this 30-year marriage
this neighbor disparaged me, think- navigate this. — Going Through a
ing my husband was someone else. Rough Patch
The confusion was quickly sorted
Dear Going Through a Rough
out, but nothing was ever said about Patch: It is bad politics — but very
the personal attack on me. My hus- common these days — when issues
band did not want to confront the devolve into personal attacks.
neighbor, and although I wish he
You could just as easily have
would have made a statement of defended yourself to your neighbor,
support for me, I supported his and you should feel free to do so —
decision.
politely. But the real issue is your
I was able to keep the hurtful husband and his lack of support for
behavior directed at me compart- you. It is not so much that he gave
mentalized until my husband disre- your neighbor a melon (a nice thing
garded my request of limited con- to do); it is that this was the man
tact with the neighbor.
who attacked you personally.
Tell your husband how you feel.
Ask him why he would give a man
who was so hurtful to his wife a
melon with a smile. It could be that
he resents your involvement with
politics or that he hates conflict and
simply wants to be a good neighbor.
Only he can tell you the answer.
Dear Annie: This is in response
to the letters from “Shy” and “For-
ever Grateful.” Bystanders who step
up and do something in response
to seeing someone being bullied
are called upstanders. People who
don’t feel comfortable standing up
to bullies or even reaching out to
bullied people because they’re shy
can go to a trusted adult and explain
that they have observed bully-
ing and are concerned for the per-
son who is being targeted. Tipping
off a teacher or aide enables some-
one in charge to observe the bully-
ing and intervene. Most school per-
sonnel have received some training
around the issue of bullying and are
aware of how subtle bullying can
be. They are likely to respond when
an upstander approaches them. —
Professor of Health Education
Dear Professor: I hadn’t heard
the term “upstanders” before; what
a great turn of phrase and a great
idea. Thanks for sharing your pro-
fessional expertise.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2018
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You won’t regret
taking the high road. To extend dignity and
peace to another is to extend it to yourself.
Doing the right thing is its own reward, but this
time it will come with a bonus.
attention you give will make you a favorite
among your people. Not only do you acknowl-
edge others when they speak, you also extend
an appreciation for the personal risk-taking that
may be involved.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It’s not like you
consciously pick and choose which “you” to be.
The right version of you just emerges unbidden
to handle the situation. Too much interference
by your conscious mind can only slow you
down.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Take full
advantage of this world before rushing to
explore the next one. You’ll get there soon
enough. And when you do, you’ll probably look
back and count today as being among “the
good ole days.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Just because you
lower your pride doesn’t mean you’re signaling
defeat. This may be an act of deference,
respect or strategy. Humility takes strength.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Can you ar-
range your schedule so that you can catch the
sunset? The magical time just before the sky
falls asleep will bring a benefit to your psyche
and may even make your dreams sweeter.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Gather experi-
ence. Repetition of the same task is experi-
ence, too, but it’s not going to grow you like
facing the unknown. You’ll learn more about
yourself in the face of fresh experience than
you would through introspection.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Beware of people who
act like they’ve got it all figured out. Perhaps
they really have sorted through a small section
of life, and you can learn from them in that
regard. But that’s not true for every regard.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You are ardent in
your affections. You will express yourself in an
open, confident manner and with great warmth
and heart. Loved ones will feel lucky to be on
the receiving end of your generosity.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Brilliance! Forceful-
ness! Courage in action! After you give yourself
a moment to soak in your victory, rest. That’s
the step not to skip. If you keep going full tilt
without a rest, you’ll risk a setback.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The quality of
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Something
changes to set the usual dynamics of a close
relationship a little off-kilter. This is a move
toward improvement though it may not seem
like it right away. You’ll avoid stagnation. All is
working to your benefit.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). A handwritten
letter was once the prevailing method of
communicating on matters of news, love,
gratitude and intention. Now it’s a rarity, which
is why, if you write someone a note, it will be a
cherished memento.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 7). Your
heart is soft; your mind is sharp. You’ll push
for a change that could transform your whole
scene, and it will. Go forward with your plan
regardless of popular opinion. (There are some
people you shouldn’t even give the chance to
weigh in.) Also in 2019: high expectations met,
love, loyalty and professional advancement. Pi-
sces and Aries adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 50, 44, 20, 4 and 11.