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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 23, 2018)
6A FEATURES TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE Missing that kid connection Dear Annie: I’m 64. I have other moms with kids the same known “Ashley” for seven years. ages, and I hear less and less She is a mother of two young from her. I did get the courage to boys, ages 7 and 5. In her early ask whether I’d done something mommy years, she needed a lot to make her angry. She assured of help. She would call me in the me that I’m “family” and that early mornings and ask whether she’s just busy. Then I didn’t I could care for the kids hear from her. DEAR so she could go to work. I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to love I would make the long ANNIE those boys as much as I drive after throwing do. The hardest thing of water on my face. Ashley’s boys call me all is that I truly thought Gramma. It’s a heavenly Ashley cared. The little title. Being able to enjoy signs were there that I these kids has truly filled was being used, but I a void in my life. I did love the kids so much Lane not get to enjoy my own Annie that I ignored them. Creators Syndicate Inc. grandchildren because of I suppose I should a tragic divorce, losing just be grateful for the my girls to parental abduction. time I did get to be a grand- But Ashley has never been mother. It was wonderful! But very mindful of my needs. I oh, I do miss those kids. I sure have had several surgeries. She wish there were a magic switch would always say she would to just shut my heart off. — The fix food and bring it by, but Friend Who Wasn’t Dear Friend Who Wasn’t: she never did. I’m low-income, but despite that, last Christ- The dangerous thing about voids mas I spent over my budget on is the lengths to which you’ll the kids. I got them nice gifts go to fill them — even at the and was excited to see them. It expense of your own well-be- was February before I got to see ing, even if it means being used. And yes, maybe Ashley used them. The boys are now both in you, but I don’t think she did so school. Ashley is meeting lots of consciously. Most young par- ents would have a tough time resisting free baby sitting. In any case, fixating on what she did wrong gets you nowhere now. Instead, turn your focus inward. That’s where you’ll find true spiritual fulfillment — which is much different from filling a void. Consider reading some books on codependency (“Codependent No More,” by Melody Beattie, is one of the most famous, and “Boundaries,” by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, is another) and/or attending counseling. Take up some more activi- ties on your own, whether it be cycling, kayaking, meditation, painting by number — any- thing that helps you appreciate the peace in solitude. And con- sider volunteering somewhere you could interact with many different children (e.g., being a docent at a children’s museum), because it sounds as though children love you. Once you’ve accepted that you are enough and that you don’t need any external person or thing to be complete, you will come to view your big heart as a gift, not a liability. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2018 By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). A little comedy will give a nice hum to an otherwise run-of-the- mill scenario. Your wry humor lands perfectly with the company you’ll keep, and you could attract an admirer at that. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Everyone wants a piece of the pie today, and you’ll take it one step further, preferring to call the flavor, too. You guessed it: You’re going to have to do the baking now ... more work, and more satisfac- tion. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Listen to your trusted people. They see you more clearly than you’ll see yourself. There also may be excellent information from the unvetted general public. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Business is not the only area of life ruled by the laws of supply and demand. Certain social roles are in high demand. People in those roles who feel underappreciated can easily find a different and better placement. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Feeling special in the eyes of others is important to everyone. It’s wonderful to be adored and loved. While praise from others is a highlight today, real and lasting validation comes from within. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You can’t control what people think about you while it’s happening, so don’t worry about it. The time to influence people’s impression of you is before you ever meet them. How you prepare will be everything. CANCER (June 22-July 22). If life is, as the song suggests, a highway, then today represents that stretch of road dominated by a rumbling hunger. Look for signs that will tell you where you might drive up and order what you need to feed your soul. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There are those who work very hard to make it look easy, and then there are those who make it look easy because it is actually easy to them. The first category appreciates compliments; the second doesn’t. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The same outcome could be considered a victory or a loss, de- pending on the larger surrounding context and the expectations of those involved. Success may be a matter of opinion. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). As you con- centrate on executing improvements that can be quantified (such as number of books read, number of calories consumed, number of people reached out to ... ), unquantifiable improvements will take hold. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Disorder threatens to make work inefficient, though it will tend to make life more interesting. It’s a trade-off you might consider before you clean, clear and organize it all. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Fresh, rested, ener- gized, happy minds make the best decisions. It’s why some people are a different person two hours into their day than they are 14 hours into it. It’s also why nothing great happens past 2 a.m. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 24). This solar return sees you more ambitious, and with good cause. You can definitely leverage what you have to create a better life. More highlights: a lucky guess that rains good for- tune, a twisty, speedy, exhilarating professional stretch and companionship that is a delight and a comfort to you along the way. Aquarius and Pisces adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 49, 33, 20 and 7.
