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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 15, 2018)
6A FEATURES She wants to keep her ring Dear Annie: My husband side of the family. It is your has adult children from his ring, and you should enjoy it. first wife. My new daughter- Dear Annie: This is in in-law has become quite vocal response to “Shy,” who wrote about jewelry items that I wear. to you about witnessing bully- Lately, she’s been commenting ing but being too scared to do on a diamond ring, and it’s the anything. When I was 9 years second time she’s made DEAR old, my family moved remarks at family gath- erings about it, say- to a new town, and I ANNIE ing, “I want that ring!” immediately became I find that rude and the target of bullying at unsettling. How should my new school. I respond? Right now, I My teachers and don’t say anything. — parents coached me Puzzled in Texas on how to handle this, Dear Puzzled in but the truth is that Lane Texas: It’s one thing to Annie only bystanders can Creators Syndicate Inc. compliment you on your have a lasting effect ring or jewelry, and it’s when it comes to stop- another to give the impression ping bullying. The victims are that she wants for you to give powerless. After a year of my enduring it to her. Complimenting one’s moth- this torment, one of my class- er-in-law on her ring is a nice mates stood up on my behalf. gesture. Tell her you’re flat- It’s been 15 years since then, tered that she likes it, and then and while many memories from tell her where you got it so that time have faded, I still that she can get one like it for remember her name and how herself. If she replies that she grateful I was to her. She stood wants the ring that is on your up and said she cared about me finger, tell her to keep her mitts when I felt so incredibly alone. off. I consider what she did nothing Your husband needs to back short of heroic. you up, because she is from his I hope “Shy” will find the courage to stand up for these victims. The world needs more heroes. — Forever Grateful Dear Forever Grateful: Wow — what a beautiful let- ter. I hope it inspires someone reading this to stand up for a classmate who’s being bullied. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Dear Annie: As an elemen- tary school counselor, I work often with students around bul- lying. The bystander who wrote to you has another option that might be just as successful as intervening as you advised. “Shy” could ignore the teaser and interact with the victim. She could say something sup- portive or something neutral — for example, “Are you head- ing to art class now? Let’s walk together.” There are more dif- ficult and easier ways to inter- vene. — Sarge Dear Sarge: I’m printing your bright suggestion. This is a great way for students who are afraid of confrontation to still help their bullied peers. I appreciate your writing, as well as all your work helping chil- dren over the years as an ele- mentary school counselor. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2018 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Melodramatic people will avoid you (they thrive on the- atrics and therefore don’t want problems to end), freeing your time for maximum positive productivity. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It turns out that a few of your tangents were unneces- sary, but no regrets. Your story is better for journey, even though, as Glinda the Good Witch once said, “You’ve always had the power.” GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When ev- eryone does the assigned job, things go smoothly. The trouble occurs when jobs haven’t been assigned. Who isn’t working and could be a great asset to the cause? Put everyone to work. CANCER (June 22-July 22). While you’d love to help everyone who asks, some of the requests you’ll get are out of your ju- risdiction or just don’t feel right to you. Your intuitive response will be correct. Set limits. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your lion heart will lead you around today. You’ll give generously of yourself. Also notable is your access to excellent teachers. Take advan- tage of the opportunity to learn. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Explore the nature of a problem, goal or objective. Analyze what has been tried, what worked and what didn’t. Take a straight-forward, scientific approach to making things better and you’ll succeed. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you con- cern yourself with getting to higher levels of rapport and trust with the people around you, you’ll skip over a lot of other kinds of problems that could arise to engage with what really matters. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You have a holistic view that allows you to see the entirety of people to whatever extent is actually possible. You’ll be appreciated for your clear, honest feedback. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’re sensitive to a wide range of social styles, and you will match your approach accord- ingly as a gesture of goodwill. This also happens to be an excellent way to build rapport that will serve you well later. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Don’t get snared into the myth of confidence. Any fool can be confident, and many are, while the wiser and smarter may be riddled with doubt. Take confidence out of the equa- tion. Strive to do what’s right. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). People will support what they create, not necessar- ily what they are paid to support, and of course not what’s been forced upon them. Co-creations will be much easier to float than solitary plans. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). To form the bonds of loyalty, humans need to connect on many levels including the emotional, intellectual and physical. Usually that is complicated, but today it will seem to hap- pen naturally and effortlessly. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 16). You’ll gain greater control over your own mental state this solar return and often be able to change it to suit the opportunity at hand. Other exciting events include attend- ing a party that will be legendary, the cel- ebration of your growing family and being entrusted with an honorable responsibility. Aries and Aquarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 50, 14, 20 and 11.