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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (March 13, 2018)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2018 FEATURES Be happy for your mom Dear Annie: Why can’t anger over the loss of a parent, children of widowed parents taking it out on the new love be happy when their surviving interest. It might help if you parent finds a new compan- were to take care to respect ion? As a recently divorced the memory of their fathers senior citizen, I have re-en- and make clear that you’re not tered the dating scene. I have trying to replace anyone. dated a couple of Lastly, I’m not DEAR widows whose chil- saying this is the case dren (in their 30s and with you, but some- ANNIE times grown children 40s) have proved pick up on signs that to be a real chal- lenge. These ladies new partners don’t have been widowed have their parents’ for three to 10-plus best interests at heart, years, yet their chil- and their protective- ness is justified. dren are a real obsta- Lane cle. Why can’t they be Annie Dear Annie: My Creators Syndicate Inc. happy that their mom boyfriend has a friend has found a new com- named “Melissa,” and panion instead of resisting it I’m wary of their relationship. and, in one case, preventing I’ve seen Melissa put her arms their mom from continuing around my boyfriend’s neck the relationship? I think this is while his hands were on her very selfish and even harmful hips. They’ve kissed repeat- to their parent. What would edly on the lips in front of me. I privately and calmly you tell these adult children? complained to my boyfriend — We Deserve Happiness Dear We Deserve Happi- about the kissing and how ness: I would tell these adult disrespectful and hurtful it is children to let love rule. It’s to me, and I asked him how unfair for them to prevent their he would feel if I were kiss- parents from being in loving ing another man like that. His romantic relationships. Per- answers were: “It’s a Southern haps they’re displacing their thing” and “Melissa’s mother just died.” (Her mother died a few months ago.) He then accused me of being jealous. I told him that at least where I come from, we have boundaries, have respect for other people’s feelings and treat others the way we would like to be treated. Now when- ever a grandmotherly friend gives him a peck on the cheek, he brings up the Melissa inci- dents with me, trying to say it’s the same thing. And every single time, we have a dis- agreement and I burst into tears. Is this a “Southern thing,” and how should I handle it if it happens again? — Southern Exposure Dear Southern Expo- sure: Rounding first base with friends is not a “Southern thing,” and there isn’t enough Southern charm in the world to sell that whopper. This man’s behavior and his disregard for your concerns are both billow- ing red flags. If he’s not will- ing to hear out your (perfectly reasonable) request that he not kiss the lips or touch the hips of other women, it’s time to move on. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). There will be a gap between what people think you know and what you actually know. Mind that gap. You can use your insights strategically to awe your subjects and maintain your advantage. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s been a long time since you had to ask permission to do the things you really want to do. And yet, now that you can do what you want, you so seldom do! Change that dynamic today. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Complex thinking is best taken on earlier in the day. (A particular- ly good time will be two hours after you wake up.) Do the hard tasks before the easy ones and you’ll minimize the threat of procrastination. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then,” said Alice in Wonderland, and you ... well, something similar at least. The option of going back in some way exists, but you’ll probably think better of it. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). In theater, the lights, sound, scenery, props, even the scent and temperature of the venue — it all makes a difference to the success of the show. Setting the stage for your life will be no different. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Stories are the way we pass on knowledge from one genera- tion to the next. There are stories alive on the earth now that started thousands of years ago. Your story matters. Believe it. Work on it. Refine it. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Mirror neurons in the human brain fire when imagining or watching an action, and they also fire when performing an action, allowing for both experience and vicarious experience. Hint: some experiences are best left to the movies. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Snap judgments may feel like instinct, intuition or even divine im- pulse, but they are much more mysterious and nuanced than any of those things. This is not a day to blindly heed your gut reaction to things. Buy time. Decide later. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There will be moments of stress that you’d do well to shake off as quickly as you can. One way is to get grounded, literally. Find a spot of earth, put both hands on your head, and jump repeatedly. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Familiarity brings comfort — until it doesn’t, that is. Bore- dom can be very uncomfortable indeed! You’ll stave it away with a friend who craves novelty and adventure as much as you do today. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You had ideas about what was in store, and ... surprise! None of them were quite accurate. Luckily, you’re confident enough to let go of your preconceived notions in favor of being present to the needs of the moment. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Anxiety — even the brief, momentary variety — causes people to forget to breathe. When people around you are letting the wrong things get to them, you’ll stay centered and calm with a few deep breaths. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 14). You have more fans than you know, and your base will grow both in numbers and in affection this solar return. Your relationships grow strong because you serve people better, answer their needs and questions and relate to the issues you have in common. There’s a new kind of work in July. August ends a kind of trial period. Gemini and Virgo adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 7, 4, 44, 9 and 38.