6A
FEATURES
Girlfriend just wanted a card
Dear Annie: My boyfriend and gestures can be gifts, too. Perhaps
I have been together for three years. material presents aren’t import-
Everything is going well between ant to your boyfriend and he didn’t
us, and he’s a sweet and thought- realize they’d be important to you.
ful guy in general. But he didn’t get Let him know your feelings on the
me a present or card for Christmas, matter — but before you do, make
and it’s been bothering me the past a list of all the other ways he shows
few weeks, though I’ve
his love. Read it immedi-
DEAR
ately before your talk so
tried to just move on. It’s
you go into it with an atti-
not something I’m eager
ANNIE
tude of gratitude and can
to bring up. I feel pretty
easily share with him a few
whiny even admitting in
things he’s done that have
this letter that it bothers
made you feel cherished.
me. I got him a few gifts
This keeps the focus on
and took him out to his
love, not blame.
favorite restaurant. I know
I’d also suggest you and
that you shouldn’t expect
Lane
your
boyfriend read “The 5
a gift in return when you Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Love Languages,” by Gary
give something, but it just
Chapman, to avoid this type
stung a little that he didn’t
put thought into getting me some- of miscommunication in the future.
thing — anything at all. I would
Dear Annie: You have been so
have been happy with a card or helpful to print letters commenting
a special home-cooked meal or on what not to say to someone who
some other small gesture. Last year, has lost a loved one or had a miscar-
he got me a nice present, so I just riage, etc. May I comment on what
assumed we’d be exchanging pres- not to say to someone who has been
ents this year. Am I being ridicu- a victim of a home burglary?
lous? Should I just get over it, or
Recently, we returned home
should I tell him? — Snubbed in the from a funeral a few miles away to
South
find that our home had been bur-
Dear Snubbed: You’re not glarized. Our children and grand-
being ridiculous. But before you get children were with us. First, please
self-righteous, consider that while do not start any sentence with “you
gifts can be loving gestures, loving were so lucky.” “You were so lucky
no one was home.” (But we proba-
bly would not have been victims if
we had been home.) “You were so
lucky to have family with you when
you got home.” (Really? Lucky my
little grandchildren had to see this
mess and I had to fake being brave?)
“You were so lucky. Remember that
things are just things.” (Well, they
were my things, and they are gone
forever.)
After a week, I actually was
ready to say, “We were so lucky.”
So I would suggest you wait until
the victim says those words himself
or herself. Then you can add your
“lucky” comments. I did appreciate
when someone said, “I’m so sorry
this happened. Can I help?” — Sad-
der but Wiser
Dear Sadder but Wiser: It’s
human nature to want to “fix” every-
one’s problems (everyone’s but our
own, that is). When someone shares
bad news, we have a hard time sim-
ply sitting with it. We want to offer
solutions or at least sunny perspec-
tives. I understand the impulse, but
it does more harm than good, as
evidenced in your letter. Simply lis-
tening and acknowledging a per-
son’s hardship is almost always the
best way to help. We shouldn’t deny
anyone space to simply be upset
after a traumatic incident.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2018
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Interesting
characters will fill your scene. The more
you study them, the more fascinating they
get. It helps that you seem to know just the
question to unlock the good stories.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You don’t
have to wave your hands mysteriously,
chant words or concoct recipes involving
“eye of newt, wing of bat” to cast a spell
over someone. You accomplish maximum
enchantment just by being you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Sometime in
the future when you have urgent or exciting
news to share, you’ll discover that your
reach is outstanding, largely due to the
work you do today, building casual goodwill.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Much will be
accomplished in small increments. If you’d
like to have more faith in life’s process,
note what the ocean did to the mountain
— ground it into a softy, sandy beach. One
wave at a time.
enjoy rethinking the sartorial part of you.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The ideal
would be a focused effort. Persistent efforts
are good; consistent efforts, even better.
But it’s the fact you’re making an effort at all
that makes the biggest difference.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The late
great George Burns suggested, “Happi-
ness is having a large, loving, caring, close-
knit family in another city.” Your support
system can take many forms.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When it’s
very easy to get to know someone, it’s usu-
ally an indication of a well-developed outer
layer of personality. It’s always deeper than
that, though, which you know and discover
more about every day.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re
disarming. Maybe it’s because you really
do believe in the goodness of people. You
know how to question someone’s views
without questioning their integrity.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It is a commonly
held belief in the current era that the life of
a child should be as easy and magical as
possible. In earlier times, many children
were sent off to work at age 8. Your inner
child feels like a factory worker today.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Casual
conversation is a window. Small interac-
tions deliver everything, especially to ones
as sensitive and intuitive as you. Now the
question is: How much do you want to
know?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). They may
say that this is a laid-back, easygoing kind
of commitment, but don’t believe the lip
service. There’s a tacit expectation here.
And where there is an expectation, there is
work to be done.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 2). It’s
a year to be bold. Happiness will increase
with the force of intention to do good work,
to love more fully and to take on responsi-
bilities. You can handle this! The money you
spend to improve your surroundings and
the way you operate inside them will pay
you back in joy and also in dollars. Libra
and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 5, 50, 1, 26 and 31.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s better to be
overdressed than underdressed. But more
importantly, it’s better to be dressed like you
than like someone else. Actually, you may
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE