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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 8, 2018)
Shunned by siblings
Dear Annie: I am a middle good. The fact that your par-
child with two elder brothers, ents are flabbergasted leads
a younger sister and a younger me to believe that there is
brother. They all get together some serious communication
and have dinner and movie issue at play here. Seek out
dates or hang out with one the help of a professional fam-
ily therapist who can
another. I am always
resolve this sibling
excluded. No phone
call or text. They have
Dear Annie: Your
been rude and unwel-
coming for more than
column about the gos-
siping in-laws struck
15 years now. No idea
a chord with us. Some
why. I have finally
folks resort to back-
told them that I think
biting and malicious
they have treated me
gossip for vicari-
poorly and I don’t
ous excitement and
consider them broth- Annie
ers. My parents are
because they don’t
flabbergasted, as well.
have positive self-im-
It has truly broken my heart. ages. My sister-in-law falls
How do I let go? — Pushed into that category.
For many years, she seemed
Dear Pushed Away: like a sister to me — only I
Before you let go, let out your eventually found out the ugly
feelings. I know you men- rumors she had spread, about
tioned that you told them me and many others. She even
what you think — but was it tried to break up my marriage
in an angry and hurt way or (to her brother) by saying I’d
in an honest and gentle way? had affairs all over the world
You don’t get to choose your while on business trips.
family, but you only get one,
I avoided her (we live out
so I am all for trying to work of state) for several years but
out your differences. Feel- then confronted her directly
ing excluded never feels in private during a fam-
ily visit. She cried and cried,
apologized and said she was
ashamed. We will never be
close, but because she has
advanced cancer, I have for-
Malicious gossip is a
stealthy type of bullying, as
your target is unaware of the
slander. I liked your advice to
“Betrayed” (to have her hus-
band talk to his relatives),
Annie, but direct confronta-
tion shames the individual and
puts the power back where it
belongs — with the victim. If
other family members don’t
like it, so be it. We can pick
our friends, but not family or
in-laws. One would be bet-
ter off without them all than
walking on eggshells.
Your columns are great.
Thanks for all you do. — Flor-
ida Villages Reader
Dear Florida Villages
Reader: You make a great
point. Perhaps it would be
more effective for “Betrayed”
to confront her in-laws than
for her husband to talk to
them. Bullies must be held
accountable. Thank you for
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, JANUARY 8, 2018
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You won’t have
everyone’s approval, and frankly it would be
weird if you did. You so have the blessing of all
who matter in this, though — even if it’s only
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You are wise.
Wisdom can be practical — but often isn’t.
Wisdom can point to the popular choice — but
often doesn’t. Wisdom can provide comfort —
but it also tolerates the very uncomfortable
and uncertain realities of life.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s been a while
since you fantasized about the future. You
used to do this often and well! It’s time to get
back to that rich imagination of yours and
apply it creating some magic for yourself in the
weeks to come.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Everything feels
better when you have a plan. It doesn’t have
to be a good plan. Even a janky, under-re-
searched, unfeasible plan will give you the
measure of purpose and confidence neces-
sary to go one step further.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You want to make an
improvement, and here’s what will help. Plan
the “ifs” and “thens”: If this happens, then
I’ll do that. If that happens, then I’ll do this.
Decide in advance and set yourself up for
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). While you’ve been
known to do excellent work in phases, you’ve
neither the patience nor the time for that today.
You’ll throw it all down in the white-hot heat of
one long frenzy.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you muster
up the courage to take a chance, that’s some-
thing in and of itself. You needn’t couple your
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
daring with the added pressure of demanding
that you succeed. Give yourself credit for start-
ing. Starting is for the brave.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The best answer
just might be “I don’t know.” That’s the answer
that lets many things be possibilities. A
connection made in the afternoon will take a
surprising and delightful direction.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’re in
a community of people who are making the
world a better place. You’ll love your role in
this. The group isn’t always in agreement as to
the best methods, but you’ll come to a consen-
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Remodels
and reorganization efforts can be funny this
way: You often have to make a mess before
you can make an improvement. When things
get crazy, push through to the “after” picture.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You face life
with a thoroughly optimistic outlook even when
the circumstances do not obviously favor you
and yours. Your calm, measured approach
allows for smooth dealings all around.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Hesitation isn’t
always fear. Sometimes it’s a function of pru-
dence, intuition or wisdom. Maybe you sense
you’re not ready, and there’s no shame in that.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 9). This so-
lar return is an uptick in love and abundance.
Winning teams will be part of the fun. What
happens to your group in February will lift you
all. You’ll get to make your own schedule in
April, and this will be a game-changer. The
spring lets you create, innovate and play while
getting paid. Sagittarius and Cancer adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 9, 40, 20, 12 and 33.