6A
FEATURES
Mom adds strain to relationship
Dear Annie: My boyfriend on her behalf, but I don’t know
and I are starting to get serious, what to do or say. Annie, I don’t
and everything is going smoothly want to create conflict between
except for one constant bump in my boyfriend and his mother, but
the road: his mother. His dad is I don’t want to have to fight over
out of the picture. She is single, him. Though her behavior irri-
and he is an only child and lives tates me, I would still like to get
along with her, but she so
at home. She desperately
DEAR
clearly dislikes me, and
wants him to be a mama’s
nothing I’ve tried so far
boy, but he never has been
ANNIE
has changed that. How
and never will be, which
do I ensure that she will
frustrates her. She needs
back off a bit so that my
to know where he is, texts
relationship can continue
him constantly, becomes
to grow? — No More
judgmental when he
Tug of War
drinks any alcohol or is
Dear No More Tug
out late, and demands
Lane
of
War:
It takes two to
his constant attention. He Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
engage in tug of war, so
used to be able to main-
tain a balance; he would
step away from the rope
choose his battles but also try to and stay out of the mud. Meet
talk her down and explain to her any of her rudeness with kind-
that he is an adult and can make ness. But do talk to your boy-
his own choices. However, she friend about how you’re feeling.
seems to get needier as he and I It sounds as though his mom is
overly dependent on him and he’s
get closer.
I try my best to be friendly enabling this dynamic. Though
and kind when I interact with her, moving out would certainly help
but I’ve overheard conversations give him space from his mom,
between the two of them (I know; he might bring guilt with him,
I shouldn’t eavesdrop) that basi- and then the codependent pattern
cally come down to her accusing might continue. Encourage him to
me of taking him away and being attend a few therapy sessions so
a bad influence. He is aware of he can get a clearer perspective
how difficult she is and apologizes of his own emotional needs. Until
he establishes healthy boundaries
with her, it will be impossible for
him to have a healthy relationship
with you.
Dear Annie: I reluctantly
agree with your assertion that
“anyone who can’t afford to leave
a tip shouldn’t be eating out in the
first place.” But you missed an
opportunity to point out the absur-
dity of the modern tip system.
Tips are supposed to reward
excellent service, not serve as
mandatory wage supplements.
Today service workers are being
paid less than minimum wage in
most places solely because the
economic system has adapted to
assume that standard levels of
service will always be acknowl-
edged by an “optional” payment,
whose standard value has risen
from 15 percent to 18 percent to
20 percent just over the past cou-
ple of decades.
Servers should be paid at
least the same minimum wage
as everyone else, and restaurants
should adjust their prices accord-
ingly. — Just a Tip for You
Dear Just a Tip for You: I
agree with you. I’d love to see that
system change here in the United
States. Here’s hoping — though
I’m not holding my breath.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You don’t have to
be the cause of an event to feel that you’re the
one to do something about it. If all you do is
hope for the best, you will be doing more than
most. Of course, you’ll take bigger action than
that. It’s who you are.
each hour like it’s the last.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You have plenty
that you can leverage into plenty more. It’s all
how you play it. Step back and assess where
you are. Talk to outsiders about it — people
who see you more objectively than you can.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Positive
leaders and influences will help get your mind
off of nagging issues that can’t be changed.
They’ll inspire you instead to start dealing with
things that can be changed: There’s so much
to work with in that realm.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When you act to
please people, the opposite will happen — not
always, just today. See, it’s really supposed to
be your turn. So take care of your own needs,
and pursue what delights you. People will like
you all the more for it.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Narrow your
focus. If you go too broad, people will have no
idea how to relate to you, where to hook in or
what to do with you. Home in on the one thing
you want that people can support you in now.
You’ll make friends.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There are things that
should be discussed, and a lot that shouldn’t.
Discretion will be the better part of diplomacy.
The proverb states, “Even a fish wouldn’t get
into trouble if it kept its mouth shut.”
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Common sense
isn’t always common practice. If anyone can
get in there and improve the ratio of logical
action to nonsense, it’s you. Bonus: You have
a nice way of getting people to see it your way.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll spend time in
planning mode and in living mode too. You’re
doing this right. When in planning mode, you
think of the long term and the distant results.
But when you’re in living mode, you seize
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). A key secret to
love, war and life in general: Know when to
get out. Everything has its cycle. Leave the
party when the going is good and you’ll have
the right energy for what’s next.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The more
you care about others the more they care
about you. Respect is the same. You’ve a
healthy amount of it flowing through your
world now to command and to give.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s as though
your purpose clears a path for you. Once you
know why you’re doing a thing, you can figure
out how to do it much more easily. Also, you
can understand, see and tolerate things better.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The quarrel-
some people tend to find each other — or
rather, they bring it out in each other. Avoid
them altogether, because they’ll be especially
difficult, and there’s no sense in messing up
the perfect peace available to you today.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 28).
Discuss how you feel, because that will tell
people more about you than any fact you
could share. Why do you want them to know?
The better they know you, the better they
can help you or allow you to help them. Your
relationships are your gold. The connections
you make will bring you your heart’s desire.
Scorpio and Pisces adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 3, 22, 31, 25 and 5.