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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 30, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2017
Husband is always looming
Dear Annie: I am concerned very first time, and it has led to some
about one of my friends, “Amanda.” positive changes in their marriage.
She and I are both middle-aged
The next week, Amanda’s hus-
housewives with only part-time band just showed up with her at
jobs. For the past six months or so, our lunch. I welcomed meeting him
we’ve been having lunch together because I knew he could see that
I’m a straight woman who poses no
once a week.
Amanda comes from a
much more repressed back-
Since then, however,
ground than I do. She was
he has come with her
raised to believe that wives
every week. He owns his
should be submissive to
own business, so he must
their husbands, etc.
have rearranged his whole
Our weekly lunch is in
schedule to lunch with us!
a restaurant that’s located
He sits with us but doesn’t
inside a supermarket. I like
say much. He mostly plays
the food there. Amanda
with his phone. Of course,
used to say she liked the Annie
my conversation with
location because when her
Amanda is quite different
husband asked about her
with him sitting there. This
day, she could truthfully tell him whole thing seems weird to me. I’m
she had only gone to the grocery. afraid that if I were to say much,
She said it would take time for her our lunches would end altogether.
to let him know about having a new Do you have any suggestions? —
Silenced in the Supermarket
Amanda has complained about
Dear Silenced: Though you
her controlling husband. She told might be limited in what you can
me he checks her phone and email say to Amanda, your mere presence
all the time. However, she has speaks volumes. It tells her she’s
such an upbeat, happy disposition, not alone — that someone cares. To
I thought she was exaggerating. someone in an abusive relationship,
About a month ago, she told me that that’s an invaluable message. And
since she’s gotten to know me, she’s that’s why the best thing you can do
had the courage to speak up to her for Amanda right now is to continue
husband about some things for the attending these lunches and pretend-
ing her husband’s presence is wel-
come. Any perceived rejection of
him would be used to separate you
from her. Call The National Domes-
tic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233)
for more guidance.
Dear Annie: I certainly sym-
pathize with “Concerned Legion-
naire’s Wife.” Many years ago, I
attempted to sign up for an Amer-
ican Legion post but was told by a
misinformed individual that women
could not join the organization.
Rather than judge the entire organi-
zation by the erroneous view of one
individual, I found another Amer-
ican Legion post. Today I am the
national commander of The Amer-
ican Legion, and that original post
displays my official photograph
with the words, “She could have
belonged to this post. Remember,
women are veterans too!”
Though I cannot speak about the
specific allegations that “Concerned
Legionnaire’s Wife” mentioned,
I would like to encourage her to
report any malfeasance to her state’s
American Legion headquarters.
With 13,000 posts spread through-
out the United States and even over-
seas, there will be some personal-
ity conflicts. But I encourage people
to visit our website, at https://www.
legion.org, to learn more.
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ve earned
the chutzpah you have, but you need a little
more for what you want. You don’t get to
have the confidence for free. The price of
confidence is doing what scares you. First
you dare; then you become daring.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It’s hard to put
a price on learning. But if you gain even one
insight that changes you, makes you think
differently, gives you a degree of comfort or
inspires you to be more, whatever brought
you to that was worthwhile.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). There’s some-
thing you keep locked away in your heart
that’s become a part of you, reflected in your
every move. Take it out; re-examine; and
decide if it still belongs there. If not, toss it. If
so, polish and return.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). What keeps
you good even when you don’t feel like being
good? Principles. Your principles will now be
the restraint keeps you on the path of being
the best possible version of yourself.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Everything moves,
not necessarily forward. Some backward
slides are a positive relaxation of hypervigi-
lance. Some backward slides are dangerous
regression. Know the difference. In the latter
case, take preventive action.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you believed
that whatever or whomever you’d like to add
to your life was within the realm of possibility,
what would you do to get ready? Do that.
Because with this kind of clearly defined
wish, amazing things can happen.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s hard for some
to clock the moves you’re making, because
you’re simply going too fast for them. You’re a
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
blur! There’s no reason to slow down, either,
since there are plenty at your pace who will
keep you company.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you
write your priorities down, much will become
clear about your life, what’s working and
what’s not. Today, the tic-tac-toe model will
work well. If you have more than nine priori-
ties, it’s too many.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Some
people don’t know the value of a thing
until other people point it out. But if it’s not
apparent to them, is it really valuable or not?
Maybe good things are only good to those
who see the goodness.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When
others throw stones at your ideas, don’t even
bother throwing them back. It’s a waste of
time and energy. Collect the stones as if they
were a gift. Use them to build your empire.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your cravings
will be informants that point to an underlying
need, a nutrient that your diet is lacking or an
emotional nutrient that is currently absent in
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You may not
know exactly what you want to do now, and
that’s OK. As long as you have a framework
that guides you, you’ll be in a fine position.
Opportunity will arise that you had no idea
was in the realm of possibility.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 1). You
give yourself to your loved ones, and you’re
a cherished part of the group. But to live for
them is to deny the one life you’ve been giv-
en: your own. In summary, you’re a person,
too. Aries and Gemini adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 11, 40, 45, 21 and 18.