14 // COASTWEEKEND.COM
Coast Weekend’s local
restaurant review
At Long Beach Tavern, food and setting are well-worn
served late. After most of Long
Beach shuts down, the LBT is still
cooking. In addition to the usual
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dive necessities — prepressed, fro-
zen burger patties, fries and tots,
esides the flat-screen TVs
chicken strips and wings — there’s
and the locally brewed IPAs pizza and a slew of daily specials,
on tap, there is little inside
like taco Tuesday (two tacos for
the Long Beach Tavern to assure
a buck), wing Wednesday, pasta
you that we are indeed in 2017 and Friday and so on.
not 1970.
I stuck mostly to the regular
Part of that is the look, part is
menu. And since it was the banner
the food.
out front touting the LBT’s chow-
But before we get to the eats,
der taking First Place at the Razor
it’s worth setting the scene.
Clam Festival that lured me in, I
The ceiling is painted black.
began with a cup ($6.95, $8.95 for
The carpet is dark. The walls are
a bowl).
wood, and the booths are coated in
Tasting it, I was a bit miffed.
black vinyl. There’s a fireplace and It was very much akin to the
all kinds of vintage beer-marketing indistinct chowder we coasties are
paraphernalia. Over classic rock
all too familiar with: salty, creamy,
or sports you’ll hear pool balls
buttery and one-note. There was
clacking and regulars jawing.
no depth, no developed flavor,
And indeed, the Long Beach
and the clams were on the gummy
Tavern (aka the LBT) is a local
side. It felt like a tourist trap.
stronghold. Considering the loca-
At $9.95 (with chips; fries,
tion — smack dab in the tourist
onion rings, tots or a salad are
center of Long Beach — that’s
$2.50 extra), the Halibut Fish
saying some-
Sandwich was
thing. While
a squarer value.
much of the town
Obviously at
‘WHILE MUCH
is tourist-first,
OF THE TOWN IS that price we’re
LBT maintains
talking about ma-
TOURIST-FIRST,
chined, long-fro-
working-class
LBT MAINTAINS
zen, probably
roots. Heavy-du-
WORKING-
ty work pants and
pre-breaded fish
CLASS ROOTS.
steel-toed boots
(the same as they
might as well be
use in the fish
HEAVY-DUTY
a dress code.
and chips). The
WORK-PANTS
While those
sandwich was
workers come
stacked absurdly,
AND
after the whistle
the center a thin,
STEEL-TOED
blows and fill up
teetering tower
BOOTS
on big, carb-y
of tomatoes,
MIGHT AS
portions, eating
then red onions
WELL BE A
is an ancillary
with pickles
DRESS CODE.
concern. And, to
inside, then the
be sure: There
thick rectangle
are drink deals to
of beer-battered
be had. Cans of beer start as low
halibut, covered with a slice of
as $1.75.
American cheese. Apart from the
Whether you’re up for a can of
presentation, which I had to mush
Milwaukee’s Best is another ques- down to get in my mouth, there’s
tion. But hey: It’s a striking deal,
nothing particularly special to
especially in a tourist town.
mention. Nothing offensive, either.
Now, to the food. First, it’s
It did the job.
Review and photos by
THE MOUTH OF THE COLUMBIA
B
LONG BEACH
TAVERN
Rating:
305 Pacific Ave.
Long Beach, Washington
98631
360-642-3235
Hours: 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. every
day
Price: $ – some good values,
some questionable
Service: Local friendly
Vegetarian / Vegan Options:
Thin
Drinks: Full bar
KEY TO STAR RATING SYSTEM
Poor
Below average
Worth returning
Very good
Excellent, best in region
Halibut Fish Sandwich
Seafood chowder
The pizza was passable. The
crust was medium-thick and that
doughiness was quite filling. There
are two tiers of pizza. From the top
(“Gourmet”) category, I had The
Captain — essentially the classic
“combination.” From the sauce
to the cheese to the toppings, it
was totally forgettable — a horse
with no name. It was $25.95 for a
14-inch pie, and I felt a wisp of the
tourist economy creeping in again.
I did try one daily special, the
Turkey Pesto Swiss Avocado Melt with fries
Avocado Pesto Turkey Sandwich.
It was a lot like a club sandwich,
only with two slices of bread and
the addition of unremarkable pesto
oils. The turkey was deli meat cut
paper thin. It had no body. Indeed,
of the dishes I tried, if the Halibut
Sandwich was the one I’d order
again, Avocado Pesto Turkey
would be at the end of the line.
At the LBT, the food matches
the setting: well-worn. CW