THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2017
FEATURES
When family doesn’t visit
Dear Annie: My husband
Dear Annie: My daughter
and I are retired. We are in our and I had lunch today at a very
70s, and he is in poor health. He nice pizza cafe we frequent.
has cancer. But the problem I’m Three booths away were a cou-
writing to you about is that he ple and a boy of about 8 or 9.
does not get visits or calls from The woman started to berate the
his family on a regular basis child. Apparently, she asked him
to get a plate, and the
unless he’s in the hos-
DEAR
plate was too small. She
pital. They live in the
very loudly screamed,
same town as we do.
ANNIE
“How can you be so
When I was younger,
stupid to get such a
my parents shamed me
small plate!” She went
into visiting twice a
on and on. I walked by
month. I didn’t mind,
the booth, and both the
because it was the right
boy and the man were
thing to do. How do we
staring silently at their
approach this problem.
Lane
plates. The woman
Shame them? — Look- Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
continued for at least
ing for the Right Words
15 minutes. She told
Dear
Looking:
Don’t play the shame game. Be him she was going to shave his
direct. It’s possible his family head! The child began crying.
members don’t realize no one’s It was such verbal abuse that I
calling or visiting; everyone may couldn’t eat my food. Then the
just assume another member of boy yelled, “I don’t even want
the family is staying in close to be in this family!” Other din-
touch. Tell them how much it ers began to notice. She finally
would mean to your husband if left the restaurant, with the man
they visited more often and not and the boy trailing behind.
only when he’s in the hospital. What must this kid’s life be like
They’re not just your husband’s behind closed doors? I wanted
family; they’re your family, too. to do something. I wanted to call
And we all sometimes need the police; it was so horrible.
family to remind us of what’s Should I have spoken to her? —
Wish I Were With Child Protec-
important.
3C
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
tive Services
Dear WIWWCPS: It’s
difficult to know what to do
when witnessing such situa-
tions unfolding. The best course
depends on the scenario. If it’s
merely an exasperated mom
raising her voice at her child in
the grocery, try to empathize.
Every parent has been there,
and in such moments of frustra-
tion, support can go much fur-
ther than judgment. That might
mean offering assistance (car-
rying groceries, cleaning up a
spill, etc.) or just a sympathetic
smile.
In more extreme situations,
use caution. Experts recommend
not confronting the parent your-
self if you can avoid it. Instead,
seek out a security guard or, in
cases of physical abuse, call 911
and try to monitor the situation
from a distance until authorities
arrive. Take down the license
plate number or other relevant
information. If you find that you
must intervene in the moment to
protect the child’s safety, pro-
ceed as gingerly as possible and
try to be kind to the parent. That
may sound counterintuitive, but
it’s the best way to de-escalate
the situation.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Challenge your-
self to leave a situation before you respond
to it. Even if you’re only walking away for
five minutes, that’s enough time to come up
with a better communication than you’d have
reflexively.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You can’t tell
what’s going to make other people happy.
You can’t even tell what’s going to make you
happy. So just do your best. When things don’t
land quite right, shrug it off. And when they do,
celebrate.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There are inter-
esting people out there you’d like to meet and
equally interesting people who want to meet
you. Your social efforts will pay off rather quick-
ly now, so don’t miss the chance to mingle.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The lan-
guage of souls is hard for you to miss these
days. As you listen past what people say out of
a sense of social appropriateness, good man-
ners or obligation, you hear the soul’s cry.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The No. 1 rule of
the day: Don’t agonize. You’re creative, and
to make the most of this you’ll need to make
many decisions and execute them fast. Take
the lessons and move on — no regrets!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s not just
the supporters around you who are aware of
your potential. Those who knock your confi-
dence on purpose are also aware. You can
take it as a compliment that they see you as
competition.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Like a real pro,
you are brave without being reckless, focused
but not oblivious to the competition. This atti-
tude will carry you into an exclusive situation
where you’ll meet worthy opponents.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Maybe it won’t do any
good to explain yourself. Those who would
understand don’t need the explanation and
those who don’t only get more confused the
more you talk.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). For those waiting
for the one day when it will all just click in, you
know better. There’s no great light switch to
turn on — not one gigantic click, but a ticker
tape of small understandings you come to with
daily awareness.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Those who are
overly concerned with stating their personal
truths are often too melodramatic for you to
take seriously. Emotionally mature people put
kindness, compassion and cooperation first.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s true that
people have stumbled upon treasures like
gold, but as for most of the better things in
life, they cannot be found; they have to be
assembled.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Today, while
going about normal business, you’ll often be
doing something very different in your head.
You’ve a rich inner life. Your private world is
only for you — though you may share glimpses
with a trusted loved one.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 30). It’s
a year of expanding options. The next three
months are especially socially active. You’re a
quick study and also quite impressionable, so
put yourself around good influences. You’ll win
a prize in January. This will be a game-chang-
er. The love you share will feel as legendary
as the stuff of poetry and song. Virgo and
Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
9, 40, 44, 20 and 13.