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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 18, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 2017 FEATURES Friend lacks follow-through Dear Annie: After college, I time she flakes, my fond college moved across the country to New memories become less fond. Annie, I’ve accepted that York City. Coming from a small university, only a few friends Olivia isn’t reliable, but I don’t moved to the big city with me, want to cut her out of my life com- and we took very different career pletely. How should I deal with paths. However, I felt OK about this? — Flake’s Friend Dear Flake’s Friend: the move because one of DEAR No matter which way you my best friends from col- slice it, flakiness is frus- lege, “Olivia,” was com- ANNIE trating. Canceling plans ing with me. once or twice is under- We used to hang out standable. Life hap- quite a bit, but as the years pens; things come up. have passed, we only But Olivia seems to have manage to see each other made this into a monthly once or twice a year. I get ritual. And I’d guess it. We developed our own Lane the purpose of this rit- niches and friend groups. Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. ual, for her, is to allevi- But what really grates ate some guilt. “I’m not a my cheese is when Olivia messages me every month or so to bad friend,” she can tell herself. “I generically say that she misses me reach out.” But good friends hold each or that we should really hang out. We have fun when we see each other accountable. That’s what other and reminisce, so usually you need to do here. The next time I agree and offer up a few ideas she texts you, tell her you love for a gathering — grabbing cof- her but she’s got to stop saying fee, visiting a new workout studio, she wants to see you and then not whatever I’m up to that week. No following through. After you’ve response. The radio silence typi- called attention to her bad habit, it cally lasts until the next monthly will be much harder for her to keep message — “miss you!” When she doing it with a clean conscience. does respond, it’s usually just to Instead, she’ll have to make plans say how she’s busy but that she’ll only when she plans on following try to make the next one. Each through, as adults are supposed to. Dear Annie: I read your col- umn from prison, where I’m serv- ing an eight-year sentence for attempted kidnapping and home invasion, done while I was in a state of cocaine psychosis. Next week, I’ll have five years of total sobriety. I’ve done a lot of work on myself, including earning col- lege credits and participating in Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Victim Offender Education Group. I’m writing in response to the recent letter you printed from “Margaret,” who said her ex-part- ner attempted to sexually assault her daughter while he was intox- icated. I was taken aback by your calling her ex’s actions “unforgiv- able.” You do know that when you forgive someone, you do it more for yourself than for the person you’re forgiving, right? And what of all the offenders in our nation who are in need of forgiveness to help them heal? Are they inca- pable of changing, throwaway people? Maybe I read too much into this. It’s just that this unforgiving attitude is part of the grease that enables the generational cycles of violence and abuse to keep revolv- ing. — Chris B. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). There’s a differ- ence between voluntary distractions and in- voluntary distractions. Television, refrigerator, social media — these are voluntary. People are involuntary ones. Go where people are not, or you’ll get very little accomplished. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You know what you want to do but have no idea how you’re going to do it. The library and the internet are excellent first stops. Also, start telling people. Everyone will want to help you today. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re up to the challenge and ready for the responsibilities that go with it, but there’s only so much you can do alone. As you reach out for help, use your intuitive powers, but don’t forget to check credentials as well. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your productiv- ity will be impressive today as you follow this single suggestion: High-energy times are for creative and challenging work; low-energy times are for busy work. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your good intentions are there. Your goals are sound. And your desire is strong. It’s still not going to work, though, unless you can back it up with a sys- tem. Your efforts are best put toward creating and testing your system. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There’s quite a lot you’re not maximizing. You could be cashing in! You need to restructure. What makes it hard is that you haven’t put the correct value on what you have, what you know and who you are. Get outsider help. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Some call it passion, but that’s too mystical a term for the simple cause and effect that’s really happen- ing here. You find something to do that you FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE seem to be winning at, and your desire to do it increases. Success is an energizer. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If you want to better yourself (and who doesn’t?), there’s only about 7 billion hours’ worth of material available to you on the topic. You’ve a super talent for filtering the strategies that will work from the noise of general life. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). A funny dichotomy: On the one hand you’d like to feel very attractive. On the other hand, you don’t want people to actually be attracted to you, as that comes with its own set of problems. This is about self-love. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The world is full of great ideas that aren’t worthy of your time. Why? Because they aren’t viable for you. It’s not about finding the best idea; it’s about working on what you can execute well. Focus all your energy on that. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Look for areas in which you might have a natural advantage. When you can apply your talent to a task or a relationship, you’ll get the success bump that leads to high energy and more winning. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Timing plays the starring role. People tend to think of timing as being related to luck, but it’s often more of an experience and skill thing. Today you’ll experiment, work and practice so that you can get the timing right. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 19). A lifestyle that allows you to do what you enjoy when you want it will allow for all kinds of good fortune. That’s why it’ll be wise for you to make flexibility a vital factor in any life deci- sion. Scorpio and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 28, 13, 37 and 41.