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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 26, 2017)
6A FEATURES Her husband’s a hoarder Dear Annie: My husband piles. He spends countless hours loves to read your advice, but in the basement, but nothing ever when it comes to my giving him looks any different. He has a very controlling per- advice, it’s a different story. We were married in our early 20s and sonality and temper, so if you get have stayed married for over 35 rid of anything (for example, a years. We don’t have very good huge garbage bag full of napkins or empty boxes), he communication skills. DEAR starts slamming doors, We have a very cute yelling and throwing house on a popular street. ANNIE things. A lot of people comment This is causing me on how nicely it’s deco- to be depressed, angry rated from the outside. Lit- and desperate. He tle do they know that my would never get help husband is a hoarder. for this, so what do I I have controlled the do? — Bogged Down main rooms in our house, Lane Dear Bogged but he has slowly taken Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. Down: Living with over our basement and clutter can be very garage. The stress of all this stuff is starting to make me feel unhealthy, both mentally and ill. When I bring it up, he just puts physically. But understanding me down any way he can think of the psychology of hoarders might to stop the conversation about his help you find some patience with hoarding. I definitely have accu- your husband and sanity for your- mulated “stuff,” but I don’t have a self. Hoarding is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, problem getting rid of things. He is a motivated person with a condition your husband could other things but has self-medi- no more control than any phys- cated every day of our marriage. ical disorder. Accept that it’s not He has a normal job but is always only beyond your control but also so stressed out. He has zero moti- beyond his and you’ll feel lighter. Next, reach out to a mental vation to get rid of all the junk because now it’s out of control, health professional. If your hus- and he continues to add to the band refuses to go at first, then go on your own, as this disorder is impacting your life, too. For more resources, visit the Interna- tional OCD Foundation’s page on hoarding disorder at https:// hoarding.iocdf.org. You mentioned that your hus- band “self-medicates” every day. Assuming that means drinking, I strongly advise you to attend Al-Anon. Find a group in your area at http://www.al-anon.org. Dear Annie: There is a group of senior citizens who meet most days for coffee and a couple of hours of conversation at the local McDonald’s. Most do not buy anything except for coffee. There are times when they bring in cookies, cake and other baked goods to share. Because McDon- ald’s sells food, some of us don’t feel this is appropriate. Most of them see nothing wrong with this. What are your thoughts? — Another Senior Citizen Dear Another Senior: I think that it’s rude to bring in outside food to a dining establishment. But perhaps these folks have an agreement worked out with the restaurant. As long as they’re not being raucous and you’re not the McDonald’s general manager, why worry so much about it? THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, JUNE 26, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). A search is on to fill a slot in your life. You’re not interested in finding the perfect person for the job, especially since you’ve a better probability of finding Big Foot. What you want is a good fit. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The interaction has ups and downs, but overall you enjoy what’s going on between you and a certain unpredictable someone. You’ve quite a few inside jokes, and you’ll get some more out of today’s zaniness. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). As the right-hand man to your own spirit, you’ll need to call out some orders. Break your chains; revolt against your own bullying thoughts; flee the captor that is a limited idea of what you’re capable of. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Physical hygiene isn’t the only kind that makes an impression in the physical realm. Mental and emotional hygiene are just as (if not more) important. People will sense those first, anyway. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’re curious about how you can become more powerful in your own life by having more means at your dispos- al. This is, of course, not the only or even the main route to influence. In regards to power, love really does conquer all. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ve a potent charm, and there will be those afraid to get mixed up with it. They are right to be wary, of course. That which has the potential to affect people greatly should be wielded with the utmost care. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re spiritually ambitious. Reinvention is the heartbeat of your day. There’s great effort that goes into constant renewal, but it’s like anything. The more you do it, the better you get at it and the more auto- FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE matic it becomes. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). A huge part of parenting in the modern world is taking your children where they need to be when they need to be there, and self-parenting is no difference. Show self-love by getting yourself there on time. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You inoculate yourself against the virus of egoism by being in service to those around you. To keep your ego in constant check is to remain connected to the energy of the world. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There’s some- thing so expedient and attractive about your usual decisiveness, though today will call for a different approach. Before you take a position, live in the question a while longer. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Attaining your heart’s desire will require a different method of payment than money. You’ll have the chance to pull together the best gifts you have to offer the others for what you want in return. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If you try to use them as your main navigation, logic and ego will steer you wrong; let intuition guide you instead toward what your soul needs (which will be different from what your family wants from you). TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 27). Con- sciousness is among the greatest mysteries of the material world. You’ll wrestle philosophies and science, coming up with your own way of viewing your existence — a way that leaves open windows of possibility. Love will lead to business, and business will lead to love. August, November and May are financial highs. Capricorn and Pisces adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 29, 2, 18 and 5.
