THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 1, 2017
FEATURES
Ignored when others are there
Dear Annie: I have shared was saying.
I recognize this as pas-
a very close relationship with
“Sue” for over 50 years. We sive-aggressive behavior, but
worked together as young adults it puzzles me that she feels the
and have remained dear friends need to control me or shut me
throughout the years. We work down. She is the kindest, most
very closely at our church, as Christian person I know, and
I don’t know whether
well.
DEAR
she even realizes what
I know I have annoy-
she is doing. I don’t
ing habits and am
ANNIE
know why I am writ-
thankful for my friends
ing, because after all
who love me anyway.
of these years, noth-
When it is just the two
ing will change. I can’t
of us, everything is
analyze my impact or
great with Sue and me.
my aura or how I affect
My annoyance with
other people. If I could,
her is that when she is
Lane
perhaps I would know
in a conversation with Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
how to avoid being
another person (usu-
blown off as unimport-
ally casual before or
after church) and I approach and ant or insignificant, which is
wait (or try to) until they are fin- how these situations make me
ished, she does not glance at me feel.
Perhaps we are both strong
or acknowledge my presence
in any way. I usually just walk personalities and this is her way
of being in control. Do you have
away.
When she and I are hav- a suggestion, other than avoid-
ing a conversation in a similar ing conversations when others
situation, she’ll often stop me are present? — Mary
Dear Mary: For all the talk
when I’m in the middle of say-
ing something so she can speak of conversation here, it sounds
with every person who passes as if you’ve yet to tell Sue how
by. Then I end up walking away you feel. It’s time to change that.
because it is so distracting that I I really doubt that she’s con-
honestly can’t remember what I sciously doing this to try to con-
trol you, so give her the ben-
efit of the doubt when raising
the topic. Use “I” statements —
e.g., “I’m sure you don’t mean
to do this, but when we’re in
the middle of talking and you
stop to speak with passers-by,
I feel ignored” — as opposed
to “you” statements, e.g., “You
ignore me.” True friends appre-
ciate when a friend cares enough
to be honest.
Dear Annie: I want to sec-
ond what “Nancy” had to say
about loud music in businesses,
stores and restaurants. It makes
visiting with friends, which is
usually the whole point of din-
ing out, almost impossible.
I regret to add the following:
A lot of today’s churches are just
as loud. I attend a great, theolog-
ically solid church. I accept the
contemporary music, but the
blast level is pretty hard to take.
I have discovered when I’ve
traveled that it is the same across
the country. The volume ranges
from several notches above nec-
essary to over-the-top painful.
God is not deaf, and I don’t
want to be. — Dynah
Dear Dynah: Here’s hoping
a sound tech reads this and dials
down the noise.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Once the drama
stirs up, you’re sunk. If you defend yourself too
well, you look guilty. If you don’t, there will be
regrets. The best defense is prevention. Don’t let
conversations drift into dangerous waters. Stay
in control.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your attention is a
treasured gift, but your neglect is not a terrible
insult. It’s just that you can’t focus on everyone at
once. Be careful not to set up expectations you
won’t want to or be able to fulfill.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s a good thing you
have quick reflexes, because you’ll need them in
today’s dicey social scenario. You might have to
backpedal, pull your proverbial foot out of your
mouth, or jump in to save someone from sure
embarrassment.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your No. 1-priority
task will get done. The rest may not. So put the
important stuff first. What’s important? It’s not a
trick question. You know the answer; it’s just not
the same one that another person wants you to
choose.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The work will be much
more pleasant when you have the right tools
for the job. Do research. Getting this one right
before you even start will save you time, money
and headaches.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you’re too strict
with yourself, you will surely rebel. Loosen up.
Otherwise you may find yourself craving forbid-
den fruits (maybe ones you didn’t even know you
liked!) in reaction to trying to be too perfect.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The rightness of an
action makes you brave. You don’t even have to
think about it. You dive in and do the necessary
thing. The time to be frightened is not before or
during; it’s after.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Of course no one
is really better than another, but our egos have
us flexing as though there’s something at stake
that can be won with an air of superiority. You’ll
really win by going in the opposite direction.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Patience isn’t
the most exciting virtue, and there are many who
don’t see its appeal. However, those who have
patience can win the whole game just by avoid-
ing the mistakes that impatient people make.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). To complain
is to release some tension and perhaps gain
the acknowledgement of a person who agrees.
But this comes at a cost. Maybe the tension is a
good thing if it forces you to take action instead
of complain.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When a bee
becomes incensed, it stings the offender and
then shortly after pays a price with his own life.
Anger is not usually as costly an emotion for hu-
mans, and yet it’s still a good idea to de-escalate
conflict.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Just because
you’re not in step with the others doesn’t mean
your timing is off. Awareness is key here, be-
cause you’re really good at adjusting to the pace
of others when you want to. The question is, “Do
you want to?”
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 2). Your work
gets simultaneously more challenging and more
creative over the next two months, and by the
end of August you’ll have a prize to show for
your dedication. Loved ones will have interesting
propositions in September. You won’t regret what
you do, only what you don’t do, so be adventur-
ous in your choices. Libra and Capricorn adore
you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 44, 42, 30 and
15.