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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 15, 2017)
6A FEATURES She’s thinking of leaving Dear Annie: I have been living am none of those things. I never with my partner for 36 years. By all have been and never will be. My soul is so fractured by trying outside appearances, he is a very good man. And in many ways, he to figure this out. I am extremely is. But in the important ways, he is depressed. I would not know where not. Birthdays and special holidays to go. I have no family nearby, are never acknowledged; he makes and starting all over on my own seems physically impos- snide comments about my DEAR sible because of my bro- weight; he’s never been ken spirit. Infringing on there when I’ve really ANNIE friends is not something I needed him; he drinks until want to do. — Veronica he is drunk every night, an Dear Veronica: There average of 10 drinks; he is so much to address here, smokes weed every night; but I’ll start with the big- and he watches porn at gest red flag. This man is least three times a week. an alcoholic. He needs to He is never mean when he Lane seek treatment. And you is drinking; he just forgets Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. should attend an Al-Anon things he says and stum- meeting on your own, as bles around and makes stu- it would help give you some per- pid comments. He is not only destroying his spective, especially if you were to life and his brain but also making stay with him. But I really hope my life intolerable. I do everything you don’t stay, because even if this for him. Many of my friends have relationship was healthy at some told me I do too much and need to point, it isn’t now. And having a history with someone is not reason stop. I don’t want to leave, but I feel I enough to have a future. Close your am at the point that I may need to. eyes and picture yourself still with He will probably find another rela- this man in 10 years. Do you look tionship, but I sense he has no idea happy? I’m guessing your friends of the kind of woman he will draw into his life — most likely a weed would be overjoyed to help you get user, a drinker and one who finds out of this relationship and would regular use of porn acceptable. I get right to making up a bed for you. Reach out to them. (You can alternate friends every week or two, if you’re worried about over- staying your welcome.) Also, con- sider seeing a therapist. It can make a world of difference just knowing you have a place to pour your heart out every week. Leaving him won’t be easy. In fact, it will be excruciating — for a little while. But if you push through the pain and heartache, you will find bliss on the other side. Dear Annie: I recently read a letter from “Not Good Enough.” I am very concerned by the par- ents’ response to struggling grades. This is never a small thing to a child, especially a teen, who is not only beginning to develop a sense of identity but also dealing with a changing body. Parents who have this attitude need to refocus their priorities. Parents, please, instead of whining about not being able to brag about your kid’s grades, offer to help. Encourage your kid after a job well-done. A small compliment can go a long way. As this young man stated, he just wants to know he’s valued and appreciated. Isn’t that what we all want — and need — in this life? — Bewildered Dear Bewildered: Amen to that. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MAY 15, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). It does absolutely no good to be irritated by every little thing that happens. Being sensitive is a blessing and a curse and is helpful only in so far as the sensitivity can be adjusted appropriately to the situation at hand. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). When you go to new places, you aim to go as a traveler and not a tourist. You want to experience a place for what it is, not what it pretends to be for the money. Your plans will reflect this aim. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You don’t expect to come to a certain conclusion today, and this is why you’ll learn a lot more than those who are seeking definitive answers. You’ll be made knowledgeable by your willingness to dance in the shadows of probability. CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you can’t seem to improve your external conditions to the level that matches your goal, try chang- ing how you experience these conditions instead. Some things have to be accepted before they can be changed. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Go on the quest: You can’t lose now. In the search for the greater truth and more profound beauty, you will find yourself. In the search for yourself, you will find greater truth and more profound beauty. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). No one is the same as anyone else. We are all different. The evolved way is to stop comparing, shaming and blaming and start working together for mutually satisfying results. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Everything is emotional. Business is emotional. People buy and sell things for emotional reasons. Emotional intelligence isn’t just a skill for your personal life; it touches everything you do. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Think about turning some of your recent experiences into a story. Stories are a key way we make sense of the world, so it only makes sense that we should get good at telling them. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). To get clean, you must withstand some scrubbing. It’s the friction that makes for good results. You’ll tolerate another person’s vigor, as it will lead to your transformation to becoming polished and shiny. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). People should not be made to feel less than just because they do not have the same gifts as others. Even twins with the same DNA have different gifts. Find out what’s there; put it to use; honor and celebrate it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Return to the project you had to leave incomplete. You’ll have a better perspective now. You don’t need the extra stuff you thought you needed in order to finish. You’ll be able to shape what’s there into something new. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You know that you’re not going to magically end up with your big reward in hand. However, with the right plan and the strength to work it, much will be achieved and rewards will come. Today is about investigating the plans. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 16). Truly, your tenacity is unparalleled; you’ll hit more than one unforgettable milestone this year. Through July you’ll need to make a con- scious effort toward moderation, as personal connections will have great intensity and situations will bring out heightened emotions. Big, glamourous events go down in August and November. Libra and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 44, 6, 27 and 31.