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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 8, 2017)
Son-in-law moved too fast
Dear Annie: Our only being gentle with the shat-
child died of a quickly mov- tered feelings of their in-laws.
ing cancer. She left a husband Ask them not to force contin-
and four teenage children. ual socialization with some-
Less than one year after her one who has been put in the
death, our son-in-law, “Ben,” place of their dead child. No
was captured by a woman less one can take her place, cer-
tainly not in a period
than 10 years older
of less than two years.
than our eldest grand-
child. This woman,
“Meredith,” was mar-
Dear Still: Thank
ried at the time and
you very much for
has a very young
this letter. You are
child of her own.
to the pain and grief
have no choice but to
you are feeling. I am
accept her. They love
so sorry for your loss.
their dad. He wants to Annie
It does sound as
pretend everything is
if your son-in-law
as it was. If I am not
nice to her, he gets angry, so is being incredibly insensi-
we sit with them at the kids’ tive, but perhaps this is how
sporting events. I do not go he is dealing with his grief
to the house, as he has had — suppressing it, pretend-
her sleeping in our daugh- ing nothing happened. It’s not
ter’s bed. Meredith is now healthy, and just because he is
divorced but shares custody able to do that does not mean
of her son. She obviously did that you should. If you don’t
not want to completely parent want to sit with his new part-
her child; meanwhile, we can- ner at social settings, don’t!
not see ours. I am angry. Yes, Tell him that you are just not
ready yet. Be patient with
I am in counseling.
Please ask any of your your grief. It will take longer
readers who have recently to heal if you are constantly
lost a spouse to consider being bombarded with the
reminder that your daughter
is no longer there.
Additionally, ask your son-
in-law whether you and your
husband could have some
quality time alone with your
grandchildren. Make sure you
don’t attack his new partner;
rather, say it’s more a matter
of missing your daughter.
Dear Annie: I recently had
some family members on hol-
iday staying at my house. A
day after they left, I received
a text message that they had
forgotten an item that they
wanted. I found the item, took
it to FedEx and, for $48, had it
shipped. It arrived safely, and
they were relieved. Should
they offer to reimburse me the
$48? — Holding the Bill
Dear Holding: They
should, but that doesn’t mean
they will. My guess is they
have no idea how pricey the
shipping was. Perhaps you
could send them a note say-
ing something to the effect
of, “So glad it reached you
safely! I’ve included the
FedEx receipt. Thank you!”
If you’d like to be reim-
bursed, you’ll have to take the
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MAY 8, 2017
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). When you’re rest-
ed and cared for, your enthusiasm is naturally
strong. If you’re feeling less than enthusiastic,
don’t mistake this for intuition or a judgment
about the circumstances. It could very well just
mean that you need rest.
performance they weren’t expecting.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’re in danger
of making things more complicated than they
have to be. Take a step back. Breathe deep.
Yes, there are many moving parts here, but
most happen as a chain reaction to your mov-
ing only one or two of them.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your social
flair is going strong today, and a wide range of
people will be drawn to you, though most nota-
bly your fellow fire signs, Aries and Leo.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Don’t assume that
as long as your time is available you should
keep filling it up. Every commitment affects
every other commitment. Leave a wide stretch
of open space in that schedule and you’ll be
glad you did.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Lately you
couldn’t care less about what people think
of you — which is precisely why you are so
well-liked. If you dare to extend an invitation,
you’ll be most pleased with the response you
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You know what you
want to accomplish, and momentum will be
on your side all day long. Also, there are many
who want to (and have the means to) help you
with your quest.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ve been wor-
ried that you’re not quite qualified to take on a
certain job, but the thing is that no one is until
the job is theirs. This type of work can only be
learned by doing.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). If you find that your
ability has been underestimated, there’s a
fantastic opportunity in this. You are now in the
perfect position to impress and impact with a
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Every flight plan
includes a destination point and an estimated
time of arrival. Similarly, your current plan will
require a few time and space specifics before
you’ll be allowed to take off.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). People who
don’t want to do boring work will try and rope
you into doing it. How frustrating! But actually,
you might find that it’s not half as boring as you
thought. In fact, there’s something juicy in this
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Let no man
speak on behalf of your satisfaction and com-
fort level. The only person who knows if you’re
really comfortable is you. In fact, you cannot be
comfortable unless and until you decide that
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). At best, it will
be useless to talk about anything outside your
realm of direct experience and knowledge.
At worst, such talk will be harmful. Gossip is
dangerous to both the gossiper and the subject
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 9). In the
next 10 weeks, a growth process exhilarates
production in a couple key areas of your life.
Also, your attitude shifts. What used to feel like
an obligation will feel like an opportunity. You’ll
earn big in July and in October. You’ll educate
and celebrate others in August. There’s a move
featured in September. Aries and Scorpio
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 8, 40, 3, 13