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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 19, 2017)
When HR is the problem
Dear Annie: We work in a small dry is having an unnerving effect
office with just over 20 employ- on everyone. — Unrepresented
ees. It has recently become com-
Dear Unrepresented: Shame
mon knowledge that the human on these two for letting their dirty
resources manager, “Melissa,” is laundry stink up the whole office.
sleeping with the principal in our They should know better. Melis-
firm, “Larry.” Throughout her eight sa’s job as the HR representative
years with this private
is to regulate fraterniza-
firm, the closed-door hud-
tion, not engage in it. If
dles were always viewed
there is anyone above or
as suspect, but they were
equal to Larry’s ranking,
both married, and those of
anonymously report your
us näive enough to assume
concerns. If Larry doesn’t
the best hoped that it was
recognize the error of his
professional. The time-
ways yet, he’ll soon see
the consequences unfold
line is fuzzy, but Melissa’s
throughout the company.
divorce seemed to follow
the beginning of the now Annie
Such unsavory behavior is
toxic to morale.
three-year affair by about a
year. Larry’s divorce is not
Dear Annie: I just read
the letter from “Lonesome,” the
Regardless, Melissa has never 52-year-old man who thinks it’s too
been seen as an effective HR repre- late for him. Just over a year ago, I
sentative. There are several reasons was in the same kind of situation.
for that, but it’s mainly because of My caregiving role was gone. I felt
her obvious familiarity with Larry. lonely and emotionally drained.
With the revelation of their affair, I believed that no one would ever
she’s lost all remaining credibility love me. I thought about suicide.
in her role. Is there a standard of Then I decided to make one last
ethics for an HR department? It’s a desperate attempt at happiness —
department of one, so where should but because everything I’d done
we employees turn with an issue in the past hadn’t worked for me,
that clearly could not be handled I chose to do something differ-
by her with an unbiased, disentan- ent. Instead of focusing on being
gled perspective? Their dirty laun- so sweet and kind that someone
would fall in love with me and res-
cue me from my dreadful, boring,
dull existence, I would focus on
rescuing myself. And I did.
Mr. Old Man at 52, stop waiting
for someone else to make your life
good. Get up and do something you
enjoy, whatever you wanted to try
in the past but didn’t. Smile. Laugh
when something strikes you as
funny. Become someone you like.
You can meet a lot of people
in your lifetime. Some will like
you; some will not. From a wom-
an’s point of view, I can tell you
with absolute assurance that the
most attractive men are those who
are interested in their own lives,
because those men have lives
worth living, with or without a
mate. Such a man does not burden
a woman with the task of making
I understand that after doing all
that caring, you might feel hurt that
no one is now caring for you in the
same way. Give the care to your-
self that you would give to a close
friend if the friend needed you the
way you need someone.
— Been There
Dear Been: I appreciate your
self-empowered perspective. All
your suggestions are great advice
for anyone at any point in life.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 2017
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Just because
something looks cool doesn’t make it cool
— but it’s half the battle. Your work’s success
hangs in the balance of a kind of seduction.
Give equal weight to style and content for
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ll be
pleased by the logical and linear nature of
today’s challenges; a very satisfying and
solvable puzzle lies before you. Each solu-
tion will be the first clue to the next problem.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). If you keep mak-
ing allowances, you’ll bankrupt the project,
fall short of the goal or possibly not even
move the needle at all. So don’t give yourself
any loopholes. Be strict.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You won’t be
able to keep yourself from fear. If you tell
yourself to relax and calm down it will only
make you more anxious. Invite the fear in.
Make room for it; make friends with it. Fear
will soon dissipate and lose its power.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The dancer believes
that the soul is exposed in the dance. The
artist believes it’s in the lines; the writer
reads it in words. Today, you’ll see the soul
revealed in daily life and gain deep insights
into yourself and others.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The more you
have to talk yourself into something, the
stronger the likelihood is that it’s a terrible,
horrible, no-good idea. At best, it’s a waste of
time you could spend doing almost anything
else, including napping.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You thought
about it in a radical way back when you were
new. Now that you’re experienced, you un-
derstand the nuances and will hold a more
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Reciprocity
is a tenet you live by. If you won’t be able to
return a favor, you won’t take anyone up on
it in the first place. Just remember that you
don’t always have to give back the same
thing, just something of equal value.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). What’s
unfair to one person is unfair to all. Standing
up for another person’s rights is standing
up for your own. Those who lack empathy
will prove to be, in the long run, unfortunate
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Of your
many dreaded dangers, very few are reason-
able; even fewer are probable. Quite likely,
the number of these fears that will come to
anything is approximately zero.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You like to do
good works anonymously. Charitable acts
are humble acts. If it has to be publicized, it’s
more a matter of pride and identity-shaping
than heart and generosity.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It does seem
to be the case that, on certain days, your
chances of winning the game are the same
whether your play or not. However, that’s not
the point. Play. Winning isn’t everything.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 20).
You’ve a playful heart this solar journey, but
you’ll still get some serious business accom-
plished over the next 10 weeks. New people
enter your personal life, and you’ll partici-
pate in a lot of teamwork. There’s a creative
venture in July and travel in October. This
is not a year for financial risk. Save instead.
Cancer and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 13, 30, 25, 50 and 11.